In this episode of the Joy Lab Podcast, Dr. Aimee Prasek and Dr. Henry Emmons dig into one of the most counterintuitive resilience skills we can build: turning toward negative emotions instead of running from them. This isn't about wallowing. It's about befriending the feelings that are already there so they can actually move through you, instead of getting lodged and piling up.

We're talking fear (the emotion at the core of so many others), the science of emotions vs. feelings, why your emotional immune system needs exposure to develop, and three grounded steps (embody, observe, yield) to help you navigate the next emotional flurry before it becomes a blizzard.

This one pairs beautifully with our Grief Series (starting at Episode 248) and our last episode on the observer self. Whether you're new to this work or deep in it, there's something here for you.

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About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.

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Full transcript here

Sources and Notes for our Element of Resilience:

Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.
Joy Lab Episodes referenced:
- How to Calm the Mind & Not Feed the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) (ep. 264)
- From Surviving to Thriving: The Science and Soul of Resilience (ep. 263)
- Start of our Grief Series: The Wholeness of Being Human (ep. 248)
- Know Your Obstacles to Joy... Two Small Ones And A Really Big One (ep. 38)

Chemistry of Calm (Dr. Emmons' book referenced in this series)
Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Dr. Robert Zapolsky
Waking the Tiger by Dr. Peter Levine
Damasio et al. (2013). The nature of feelings: evolutionary and neurobiological origins. Nature reviews. Access here
Dr. Catherine Panter-Brick- Yale faculty page
Resilience definitions, theory, and challenges: interdisciplinary perspectives
Annual Research Review: Positive adjustment to adversity -Trajectories of minimal-impact resilience and emergent resilience
Adaptive growth of tree root systems in response to wind action and site conditions.
Brain meta-state transitions demarcate thoughts across task contexts exposing the mental noise of trait neuroticism.
Effects of a 12-week endurance training program on the physiological response to psychosocial stress in men: a randomized controlled trial
No man is an island: social resources, stress and mental health at mid-life
How does the brain deal with cumulative stress? A review with focus on developmental stress, HPA axis function and hippocampal structure in humans
Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind (this is the study of people shocking themselves out of boredom)
Emotion Suppression and Mortality Risk Over a 12-Year Follow-up
Cumulative Stress and Health
Ordinary Magic, Resilience in Development
Summary of the Project Competence Longitudinal Study
The Times of Our Lives: Interaction Among Different Biological Periodicities

Key moments:

[00:00:00] — We're in the Element of Resilience, and today is about turning toward feelings — specifically the ones that feel a lot like fear

[00:01:00] — C.S. Lewis on grief and fear; Edward Hallowell's insight that fear is the central emotion of human experience; why negative emotions make us want to run

[00:02:00] — Henry on negative emotions as a navigational skill, not something to fix or solve; the role of equanimity; animals vs. humans and fear

[00:04:00] — Henry's framework: negative emotions as "thoughts embodied" — thoughts that take up residence in the body and can get stuck

[00:05:00] — Why we don't want to be emotionless; the value of unpleasant emotions; the problem with "too strong" or "too stuck" emotions

[00:07:30] — Reading from Henry's book The Chemistry of Calm: turning awareness toward emotion allows it to flow naturally and effortlessly

[00:08:30] — Henry on emotional growth as a lifelong process; how small daily emotional workouts prepare us for the big waves. The emotional immune system metaphor: why we need exposure to small emotional challenges to build capacity for larger ones

[00:10:00] — Aimee on the difference between emotions and feelings: a meaningful distinction worth sitting with

[00:12:00] — The cognitive-emotional feedback loop (CBT); emotional elaboration; how feelings can pile up and trigger new surges of emotion

[00:12:30] — Antonio Damasio on f...