We're in our new "month of renewal" format. We're essentially exploring this question throughout the month... what if growth required less effort? This is an encore episode that helps us answer this question. Reminder that we'll be back with new episodes May 1, 2026.

"Joyless urgency." Two words that probably just hit a little too close to home. In this episode, Henry Emmons, MD and Aimee Prasek, PhD dig into the Element of Fun — and why so many of us have so little of it. Drawing on the writing of Marilynne Robinson, the surprising decline of kids biking, and sobering research on social media's role in what researchers call problematic engagement, Henry and Aimee make a compelling case that fun isn't frivolous. It's foundational. And reclaiming it might be one of the most radical — and effective — things you can do right now.

About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.

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Sources and Notes:

Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.
- More about Marilynne Robinson from The Poetry Foundation
- Farivar, S., Wang, F., & Turel, O. (2022). Followers' problematic engagement with influencers on social media: An attachment theory perspective. Computers in Human Behavior, 133. Access here.
- Joy Lab Episodes referenced:
  - Worrier? You're Not Alone. Here's Why We Worry... [ep. 213]
  - Unmasking Your True Self: Exploring Authenticity and Awe [ep. 216]
  - Embrace Your True Self: Accepted, Connected, & In The Game [ep. 217]
  - The Road Most Travelled: Awakening Through Suffering [ep. 218]
  - Follow Your Bliss: Awakening to Joy [ep. 219]
  - The Still Small Voice: Awakening with Soulfulness [ep. 220]

Key moments:

[00:00:00] — Welcome & The Quote That Started It All Henry and Aimee open with a striking passage from author Marilynne Robinson's essay collection The Givenness of Things: "The spirit of the times is one of joyless urgency." Aimee unpacks why those two words land so hard — and how Robinson's observation that this urgency serves "inscrutable ends that are utterly not our own" is the quiet crisis underneath hustle culture.

[00:02:00] — The Question We're Too Busy to Answer We've all had that moment of clarity — what am I doing this for? — only to immediately rush past it into the next task. Aimee names the pattern: sometimes urgency is more comfortable than sitting with the possibility that all this striving might not actually be for us.

[00:03:00] — Henry's Childhood Take on Boredom (Wisdom From the Old Wise Rat) Henry reflects on being a kid who dreaded boredom — and how that boredom turned out to be necessary. The inactivity between moments of play is what made the play so rich. Think of it like the pause between musical notes.

[00:05:30] — Aimee's Dollar Ice Cream Cone Moment Aimee connects bike riding to early experiences of autonomy and confidence — biking to the corner store with a dollar felt like being a real adult. A sweet illustration of how unstructured play doubles as a training ground for real-world social skills, self-confidence, and approach behavior.

[00:07:00] — Social Media and the Architecture of Joyless Urgency Here's where it gets science-y. Aimee connects the joyless urgency framework directly to how most social media platforms are designed — not to satisfy us, but to keep us in a loop of stimulation and momentary relief. The mechanics: activate anxiety, ease it briefly, activate again. Repeat. Sound familiar?

[00:08:00] — Problematic Engagement: What the Research Says Aimee introduces the research concept of problematic engagement — used in studies on social media addiction and gambling — which describes the cycle of engaging with something that momentarily eases dis-ease but ultimately causes harm. Key finding: social anxiety is a primary driver, and these platforms are algorithmically built to exploit it.

[00:09:30] — The Most Ironic Research Finding People who believe they have complete control over their social media use — who think they could stop at any time — actually show the most signs of problematic engagement. They're absorbing the most harm while feeling the least concerned about it.

[00:10:00] — Dr. Samira Farivar Quote + What We're Up Against Aimee references research by Dr. Samira Farivar: "You can't action a problem you don't even know exists." The platform isn't incidental to the problem — it is the business model. We're not weak for falling into this loop. We're human, and the trap was engineered specifically for us.

[00:11:30] — The Simple Truth About Adding More Fun Henry brings it home: adding more fun to life is theoretically simple. If we just slow down enough to let our awareness catch up, we'll almost naturally fill that space with something we enjoy. Kids don't need instructions for fun — and adults don't either, once we clear the noise.

[00:13:00] — Listening to the Voice That Wants to Play Henry offers a quiet but urgent reminder: our inner wisdom needs to be heard. If we don't honor it, it either goes silent — or gets louder until we can't ignore it. The invitation is to pause, ask what am I doing?, and actually wait for an answer to surface.

[00:14:00] — Play Is an Offensive Strategy Aimee closes the conversation with a reframe: fun and play aren't a retreat from the hard stuff in the world. They're a way of moving through it.

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