After reading your very disturbed (and very funny) comments, I briefly explore whether a large “package” might negatively affect figure skating rotational velocity.

Then we pivot to the eyeballs. The Pitt keeps delivering ophthalmology cases, so I break down gonorrhea conjunctivitis (yes, that’s a thing), what really happens when someone super-glues their eye shut, and why trimming eyelashes is sometimes the most heroic act in medicine.

Finally, we get into something far more serious: a routine clinic visit that revealed a pressure of 55 and one of the most devastating diagnoses in glaucoma, neovascular glaucoma. It’s a masterclass in ischemia, abnormal blood vessels, and when the goal of care shifts from saving vision to preserving comfort.

Takeaways:

Why gonorrhea causes “hyperacute” conjunctivitis and how it looks dramatically different from viral pink eye.
The reassuring truth about super glue in the eye (it’s the eyelashes, not the eyeball).
Why adenovirus still scares ophthalmologists more than most bacteria.
How a central retinal vein occlusion can quietly set the stage for neovascular glaucoma years later.
When a pressure of 55 isn’t a surgical emergency and why sometimes the right answer is comfort, not intervention.

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Knock Knock Eye: What Did The Pitt Get Wrong About Conjunctivitis?