Wayne Lehrer is an author, coach and teacher who leads a yoga class at the USC Leonard Davis School. He joined us to talk about his book, The Art of Conscious Aging and how to redefine yourself and find fulfillment as you age.

Transcript

I hear all the time, I used to do yoga, but now my body doesn't like it. Well, find a new yoga class. If you remember how it made you feel, then doing it in a new way, maybe a gentler class, maybe a hot yoga class that's in the dark, that's slow, where you hold the poses and no one's looking at you because you may be self-conscious, maybe that's the answer to it. But not doing it is only going to make your life collapse. And I believe that one of the biggest problems with aging is people's worlds get smaller and smaller.

Orli Belman (00:00):

From the USC Leonard Davis School of Gerontology, this is Lessons in Lifespan Health, a podcast about the science and scientists improving how we live and age. I'm Orli Belman, Chief Communications Officer. On today's episode, how teacher and coach Wayne Lehrer found purpose in aging and is working to help others do the same. Lehrer is the author of The Art of Conscious Aging, the Operating Manual for an Extraordinary Third Act. He also leads a weekly yoga class here at the USC Leonard Davis School. Welcome to our podcast, Wayne, and thank you for being here today.

Wayne Lehrer (00:39):

Oh, thank you for the opportunity.

Orli Belman (00:41):

I think it would be helpful to start with some definitions. Let's begin with the terms in your book title. What is conscious aging?

Wayne Lehrer (00:48):

Well, conscious aging is accepting the fact that it happens for everybody. That's the conscious part of it. You know, most of us live most of our lives under the assumption that we're never going to age, certainly, that we're never going to be old or get older. So conscious aging is how we approach the process and the practice of aging. It's just basically becoming mindful of all of the elements that go into the process of aging, whether it's exercise and diet, sleep, or the subtler things like stress, poor relationships, you know, creating value in the world. So conscious aging is showing up for your life in a way that your life creates value for you and others.

Orli Belman (01:32):

That's a wonderful idea. And what is the third act?

Wayne Lehrer (01:36):

So historically, you know, what people normally now refer to as the third act is retirement. Historically, you know, the average lifespan in 1900 was 47 years. So, there wasn't really a third act. You know, people were children, they went to work and then they passed away, basically. And around 1950, with the onset of Social Security and Medicare and all of the other elements that increased life expectancy: the fitness revolution, psychological help, retirement funds, a little bit more disposable income available and a less stressful life, people began to live long enough to have a third act. So basically, life in three acts is the first act of childhood–which I say basically goes from zero to 20–is a time of exploring, discovering who you are, gathering information, finding how you fit into your world and the world. And that's also a period of dependency, could be categorized.

Wayne Lehrer (02:42):

The second act, starting in your twenties, and for most of, us going to our mid-fifties or 60 years, so about 35 or 40 years, the second act is a time of independence. We develop the ego, the separate self, we explore the world as an individual. We acquire, achieve, build, collect, succeed, compete. And during that time we, you know, sort of begin to build the separate self and what is mine, which could be, you know, my profession, my identity, my family, my place in my community. And then what's historically happened is that 55 or 60 people began to retire. They began to get phased out of their jobs. Empty nest happened and all of a sudden, they're left alone. And historically what happened is people went into a period referred to as retirement, which was really a period of on the highest-level seeking comfort and serenity.

Wayne Lehrer (03:41):

But on the lower levels what it happened to be was security, being less engaged in life, withdrawing, you know, that just started changing. Now that people have a period of time of 30 or 40 years from the time of retirement–if you retire at 55 or 60 with the average life expectancy rising above 90–there's a good chance you're going to have 30, 40, maybe even 50 more years of life. And so it's as long as the period of the second act. And historically that was seen as a time where you just withdrew and you know, kind of went on this long slow decline towards oblivion, you know. And now for the first time, you know, their health is better, they have some money in the bank, some sense of ways of creating new value and transforming themselves, so it's what I call the new third act. And the new third act is a period of time where you look at how you're going to create value, become an elder, give back, build community and collaboration. Also, if you think about it in the theater or in the film historically, you know, the second act is where all the drama happens. The third act is where the hero rises from the ashes, pulls all the diverse parts of themselves together, finds a new level of who they are, and really makes a difference and redeems themself. At least in the better stories.

Orli Belman (05:02):

And you've advocated for a different word for retirement. What do you call this new third act instead of retirement and how would you describe it?

Wayne Lehrer (05:12):

Well, the woman who created AARP called it refirement, but I really think it's a time of reinventing ourselves. You know, where we're looking at all of the gifts we have, all of the professions we've participated in, what we're passionate about and what talks to us in the world, what speaks to us that we feel like we may be the answer to, or we may be able to make a contribution in regard to. And so we have to basically, you know, reimagine, recreate, redesign and reinvent who we are and then reboot as that person. So, you know, I think it's a time of reinvention and reimagining.

Orli Belman (05:54):

These ideas, are they based on your own personal experience?

Wayne Lehrer (05:58):

Both my own, those of a lot of my friends. Obviously, I'm in a number of communities right now of people that are, you know, my age or entering into their third act or deep into their third act. And when I look around at the people that are happy and that are actually where they feel that they're in the sweetest point in their life, they're actually in the sweet spot, all of those people are people that have made this transition. And I think the transition is the hardest thing because historically also there's been no role models for a healthy third act. So part of it is observation. A lot of reading. There's a lot of good new research out there. You know, that longtime Harvard study that talks about people that have been, you know, where they followed people for I think 75 years and they found that the people that had long-term relationships, the people that found ways to continue to create value in later life. So yeah, and I also think it's indicative of our time period. So it's really an observation of both our time period and those people that are around me and then my own process of moving through this transition.

Orli Belman (07:06):

And can you talk a little bit about your own process? I know you've had several careers and maybe you could give some advice to people who finished their first career. Is there anything to take away from your example about restarting, investing yourself and even becoming an entrepreneur?

Wayne Lehrer (07:22):

It's challenging, especially challenging to do something maybe you've never done before. I put myself in a position or feel called to be in a position where I'm having to use skills I never developed before but based upon all of these other things that I'm very passionate about. So, you know, wh...