The dos and don'ts of baby talk

Summary

Life Kit (NPR)
Episode: The Dos and Don'ts of Baby Talk
Host: Marielle Segarra
Air Date: May 19, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode of Life Kit, host Marielle Segarra talks with reporter Andy Tagle and several language development experts about how to best communicate with babies—especially during their crucial first year. Together, they unpack common questions around “baby talk,” raising bilingual children, the importance of in-person interaction, and practical tips for parents and caregivers to foster a love of language.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Babies’ Early Language Skills Start Pre-Birth

• Babies can hear in the womb: By the third trimester, fetuses can hear external sounds. Studies show that, “within moments of birth, babies are able to identify their birth parent’s voice and their birth parent’s language.” (Andy Tagle, 03:08)
• Musical exposure matters: Music and language are processed across overlapping brain pathways, and interactive musical experiences have been shown to boost infants’ language learning. (Andy, 03:46)
  • “Get those wheels on the bus going round and round earlier rather than later.”—Andy Tagle (03:59)

2. Babies Are Born “Linguistic Geniuses”

• Babies can distinguish sounds from every language: “When babies are born, they’re able to tell the difference between the sounds of every language in the world.” (Andy, 04:33)

• Sensitive period: The first 12 months are called a sensitive period for language learning, during which the brain is highly adaptable.

  “Babies, their brains are actually looking to see when sounds begin and sounds end. Their brain’s capacities are so elastic that it really is setting the foundation to understand the cadence of any language.”
  —Dr. Roger Harrison (05:30)

3. Raising Bilingual Babies: Myths & Advantages

• Early exposure is key: “If you have the opportunity…get started right away. It’s never too early.” (Andy, 06:13)
• Debunking confusion: Concerns that multiple languages confuse babies or set them behind are outdated—research shows kids hit language milestones, just sometimes split between languages.
  • “Bilingual children outperformed their monolingual peers in both vocabulary and grammar in kindergarten and first grade before eventually leveling off.”—Andy (07:14)
• Practical reassurance: “Raising a baby is stressful enough. You shouldn’t have to think too hard about this. Really, the first year is about laying a solid foundation.” (Andy, 07:45)

4. What to Say and How to Connect

• Narrating everyday actions:
  • “One of the things that newborn babies love to do is if you hold them…you can slowly walk them around your home and talk about what you’re seeing.” —Jessica Rolf, Lovevery (08:53)
  • Simple, functional language during play is effective: “We’re putting the ball in the hole. I’m pushing you in the stroller.” (Andy, 09:17)
• No need for flashcards, just connection: “You just have to connect with that kid and try and create an environment that fosters quality communication.” (Andy, 09:34)

5. “Parentees”: The Science Behind Baby Talk

• What is “parentees”? Also known as infant-directed speech—characterized by higher pitch, exaggerated intonation, and slower delivery.

  • “You might do things like slowing down, varying your pitch and tone. Those things can make it easier for a baby…” (Andy, 11:42)

• It’s good, not silly: “There is a scientific reason for that…It’s our innate way of helping our babies learn.” (Andy, 11:21)

• How it helps: Parentees grabs babies’ attention and helps them process language.

  “It’s a cue to them that this is important… Usually we’ve got sort of a warm smile, you know, big bright eyes. It’s all of these social cues working together that are really telling baby and baby’s brain, hey, this is important. Pay attention.”
  —Amelia Baklida, iLabs (12:12)

• Avoid nonsense words: Use real language–no “goo goo gaga.” (Andy, 12:44)

• Long-term benefits: More use of parentees at 5 months predicts stronger vocabulary and complex conversations at kindergarten age. (Amelia Baklida, 13:27)

6. The Art of “Serve and Return”

• Leave conversational gaps: “Should you be leaving space for them to answer you?” YES! Even if responses are eye movements or coos, this builds conversational skills. (Andy, 14:11)
  • “It’s starting to build that muscle for them—this is what a conversation is, this is what language looks and sounds like.” (Andy, 14:40)

7. Screens vs. Real-Life Interaction

• Nothing beats human connection: Video and audio exposure lack the interactive, social quality needed for strong language acquisition.
  • “Babies in front of screens…didn’t really learn anything. But the babies that had live interactions… were able to tell the difference between the sounds of Mandarin as well as native speakers.” (Andy, 15:11–16:03)
• One-on-one time matters most: “The infant benefits the most when the interaction is with one other person…not a group.” —Nayran Ramirez Esparza (16:43)

8. Baby Sign Language and Early Reading

• Baby sign language is helpful: Especially for common concepts like “more” and “all done.” (Andy & Marielle, 17:14–17:53)
• Reading: the earlier, the better: Read face-to-face with expressive voices—babies learn from your facial expressions and tone.
  • “It’s never too early and never too often.” (Andy, 18:12)

9. Balancing Modern Life and Language

• Avoid distractions: “There’s a lot that’s distracting us as parents…In general, it’s a little harder for parents today to be present with their children, but you gotta try.” —Jessica Rolf (19:21)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Babies’ brains are wired to want to be part of the conversation. She even called them little linguistic geniuses.” —Andy Tagle, quoting Dr. Amelia Baklida (03:59)
• “If you have a second language, get started right away. It’s never too early.” —Andy Tagle (06:13)
• “You just have to connect with that kid and try and create an environment that fosters quality communication.” —Andy Tagle (09:34)
• “It’s a cue to them that this is important…hey, this is important. Pay attention. I need to learn from this.” —Amelia Baklida (12:12)
• “The one-on-one in-person parentees is most beneficial for your baby’s language development.” —Andy Tagle (16:04)
• “It’s never too early and never too often [to read to your baby].” —Andy Tagle (18:12)
• “There’s a lot happening on our own phones… but you gotta try.” —Jessica Rolf (19:21)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:03 — Babies’ hearing in the womb and the start of language learning.
• 04:24 — Babies’ capacity for all world languages at birth.
• 05:30 — Dr. Roger Harrison on the sensitive early period for language.
• 06:13 — Early exposure to multiple languages and myths on confusion.
• 08:53 — Practical ways to talk to babies by Jessica Rolf.
• 11:21–12:44 — What is “parentees” and why it’s beneficial.
• 13:27 — Long-term benefits of “parentees” (Amelia Baklida on vocabulary development).
• 14:11 — Serve and return: why you should leave conversation gaps.
• 15:11–16:03 — Research on screens vs. live interaction.
• 16:43 — One-on-one engagement for optimal language growth.
• 17:14–17:53 — Baby sign language discussion.
• 18:12 — Importance of reading face-to-face, and making it fun.
• 19:21 — Modern distractions and staying present.

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Recap of Takeaways (19:44)

1. Surround your baby with language: Narrate daily life, talk in your native and other languages, no need for perfection.
2. Use “parentees”: Exaggerated pitch and tone are valuable, but stick to real words.
3. Leave space for responses: Encourage turn-taking, even if the baby’s response is nonverbal.
4. Opt for one-on-one, in-person interactions: Those connections are the most powerfully linked to language growth.
5. Make it fun: Sing, read expressively, and enjoy the process—language learning should have joy at its core.

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For more practical parenting insights and tips, explore other Life Kit episodes at NPR’s Life Kit.

Transcript

[A]

On consider this NPR's afternoon news podcast. We cover everything from politics to the economy to the world. But every story starts with a question. At npr, we stand for your right to be curious, to make sense of the biggest story of the day and what it means for you. Follow Consider this Wherever you get your

[B]

podcasts, you're listening to Life Kit from npr. Hey, Andy.

[C]

Hey, Marielle.

[B]

I was just talking to my nephew. We FaceTime a few times a week. He always grabs the phone and he does this thing where he communicates his glee by shaking his head like this,

[C]

like, I'm so happy to see you.

[B]

Yeah, I think that's our signal to each other. Like we're excited to see each other because it's hard to know how to talk to a baby really before they're talking, right? It's like, how do you have conversations? How do you know if you're connecting in some way?

[C]

What it sounds like is something called serve and return. And so it means when you're interacting with a baby, you're serving them some form of communication. Hi, baby, how are you? And you're letting them return communication. You're giving them space to coo at you or to babble, to basically tell you, I received that thing, that communication back. And you know, they often understand a lot more than we think.

[D]

All right.

[B]

Well, coming up on this episode of Life Kit, I'm going to keep talking to Life Kit reporter Andy Tagle about how to talk to your baby. If you have a baby in your life who's a year old or younger. This episode is for you. We're going to walk through how to communicate, how to leave space for them to respond and how important it is to have one on one in person interaction with them. All of these things help them learn and hopefully foster that love of language in them. That's coming up after the break.

[D]

This message comes from Apple Card. Apple Card members can earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases wherever they shop. This means you could be earning daily cash on just about anything, like a slice of pizza or a latte from the corner coffee shop. Apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app to see your credit limit offer in minutes. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch terms and [e-mail] this message comes from NPR's sponsor, Shopify. No idea where to sell? Shopify puts you in control of every sales channel. It is the commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you're a garage entrepreneur or ipo. Ready shopify is the only tool you need to start, run and grow your business without the struggle. Once you've reached your audience, Shopify has the Internet's best converting checkout to help you turn them from browsers to buyers. Go to Shopify.com NPR to take your business to the next level today.

[B]

So, Andy, I have heard that babies can actually hear when they're in the womb. Is that true?

[C]

Yeah, that's a real thing. So by about the third trimester, a fetus can hear sounds outside the womb. And studies have shown that within moments of birth, babies are able to identify their birth parents voice and their birth parents language, which on its own, I think is pretty awesome.

[B]

I've been trying to do this for like my friend's kids and any kids in my family. I'm trying to get in there, you know, to be known by baby. So I talk to the belly. I love that. What about playing music? I feel like there's this idea, I've heard that if you play classical music for baby in the womb, they will end up super smart or maybe turn into baby Mozart.

[C]

Maybe you could try song. Because research has shown that there's a lot of overlap between the brain pathways for language processing and music processing. So for instance, research found that interactive musical experiences can also boost an infant's language learning. So what that means is get those wheels on the bus going round and round earlier rather than later because babies love music and they have an enormous capacity for language. One expert I spoke to, her name's Amelia Baklita. You'll hear from her a little later. She told me that babies brains are wired to want to be a part of the conversation. She even called them little linguistic geniuses.

[B]

I love that. Linguistic geniuses. I have heard that they can pick up languages much faster than older kids or adults.

[C]

Yeah, way faster. Are you ready for this? Science shows that when babies are born, they're able to tell the difference between the sounds of every language in the world. Wow.

[B]

There are a lot of languages that sound similar.

[C]

Yeah. So, you know, obviously they don't understand every language of the world, but basically they're capable of comprehending the sound units in any given word in any given language. So take the word cat got ca a t baby's ears, from the moment they're born, can comprehend each of those distinct sounds. And then what happens essentially is the more exposure a baby gets to a specific language or languages, the brain becomes more attuned to those specific sounds and less receptive to all the rest. The first 12 months of life are sometimes called a sensitive period for this initial language learning, because a baby's brain is super flexible. Here's child psychologist Roger Harrison of Children's Hospital of Philadelphia.

[A]

So, for example, if we were conducting this interview in, like, Greek or in Mandarin, at some point, I would lose interest, no matter how earnest you were speaking to me, because my brain simply isn't connecting to that. But babies, their brains are actually looking to see when sounds begin and sounds end. Their brain's capacities are so elastic that it really is setting the foundation to understand the cadence of any language.

[B]

So it sounds like that first year is an especially good opportunity to raise a bilingual baby to get. Or a trilingual to help your baby learn multiple languages.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I think the argument here is just don't wait. If you have the opportunity. If you have a second language, get started right away. It's never too early. Different cultures have different feelings about this, that it might be a bad idea that you might confuse a child by having more than one language in a house. And the research says it's really an advantage. You know, like, personally, in my home, in my family, I don't speak Tagalog because it was discouraged when my mom was growing up for assimilation reasons, mostly. And that's a real bummer for me now, you know. So before, there was a thought that bilingual kids might be behind. It's just that their experience looks a little different. There are certain benchmarks that the CDC has for. For language. One benchmark for two and a half year olds is being able to communicate at least 50 words or so. Research has shown that bilingual kids meet those milestones. It's just often that those words are divided between those two languages. Don't worry. That vocab learning does generally catch up by the time that kids enter school. In fact, a study from just this year found that bilingual children outperformed their monolingual peers in both vocabulary and grammar in kindergarten and first grade before eventually leveling off. So being at the same level as all their peers and separate from that, research has shown there's just a lot of advantages to being a bilingual learner. Things like better working memory, better executive functioning, and the ability to think flexibly.

[B]

I can see this putting a lot of pressure on people who only speak one language and have a baby. Like, am I letting my kid down by not teaching them multiple languages?

[C]

Yeah, I get that I only have the one. So I feel that, but definitely not. That was actually a big theme of my interviews on the subject is that raising a baby is stressful enough, you shouldn't have to think too hard about this. Really. The first year is about laying a solid foundation for your little one for future language development. There's lots of small ways to do that. Just by making a point of being communicative with your baby, you want to just surround them with language on a daily basis. Because those first few months of life are wiring their brains through that language exposure and through interactions with their caregiver. Because early on they're not really learning words. They're learning, you know, things like the rhythm and the tone and structure of language. So they're really tuning into that connection with you and that's what drives brain development.

[B]

So it doesn't matter so much in that first year what you say, but you just want to talk.

[C]

Yeah. One idea I loved I learned from someone who spends a lot of time thinking about play. Her name is Jessica Rolf and she's a mom of three and the co founder of lovevery. They build research backed toys and books for different stages of child development.

[D]

One of the things that newborn babies love to do is if you hold them sort of front facing, you can slowly walk them around your home and talk about what you're seeing. And so you can wrap on a window or you can open and close a cupboard and get, get yourself a

[B]

glass of water because sometimes I feel like it's hard to know what to talk to them about.

[C]

Right. And you can, it can feel a little silly. So a similar idea with this is just to narrate the things that you're doing. So using functional words during play is another really good idea. So for example, when you're playing you could say like, oh, we're putting the ball in the hole, I'm pushing you in the stroller. Those first words can be really valuable for those early months in life and can help them with their first words once they're a little older. So, you know, bottom line here you don't have to stress about it, you don't have to make flashcards. You just have to connect with that kid and try and create an environment that fosters quality communication.

[B]

Coming up, how to speak parentees.

[D]

This message comes from Apple Card. Apple Card members can earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases wherever they shop. This means you could be earning daily cash on just about anything, like a slice of pizza or a latte from the corner coffee shop. Apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app to see your credit limit offer in minutes. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch terms and [e-mail] this message comes from NPR sponsor Shopify. No idea where to sell? Shopify puts you in control of every sales channel. It is the commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you're a garage entrepreneur or IPO ready, Shopify is the only tool you need to start, run and grow your business without the struggle. Once you've reached your audience, Shopify has the Internet's best converting checkout to help you turn them from browsers to buyers. Go to shopify.com to take your business to the next level today.

[B]

So we've been talking about just talking to your baby in a normal tone of voice, narrating what you're doing. But I find a lot of the time when I see babies that I switch into this, I wouldn't call it baby talk. I'm not like, oh, look at your little baby. But I, but I'm like, ah, you're so sweet.

[C]

I love you so much I want

[B]

to eat your face. You know, like, and I wonder, is that help? Yeah. No, it can't. It can't.

[C]

It's, it's an impossibility. And you know what? Actually there is a scientific reason for that and there's a scientific name for it. It's called infant directed speech or parentes. And you're not alone. If you ever felt self conscious about it or wondered whether or not it was a good idea, you can put your worries away. The answer is a resounding yes.

[E]

Nice.

[C]

The reason why we speak this way to babies, it turns out, is because many of the qualities of parentes, you know, it's often slower. There's variation in pitch and tone. We might repeat a word. Look at your toes. I love your little toes. They can help a baby's brain to start to recognize and decipher language. It's our innate way of helping our babies learn. I talked about this with Amelia Baklida, Director of outreach and education at the Institute for Learning and Brain Sciences, or iLabs. Here's how she explains it.

[E]

It's a cue to them that this is important. This is something I need to pay attention to. And the other piece about parentees is that often it's not just the vocal part. Usually we've got sort of a warm smile, you know, big bright eyes. It's all of these social cues working together that are really telling baby and baby's brain, hey, this is important. Pay attention. I need to learn from this.

[B]

Got it. Well, are there right and wrong ways to do this to speak parentees.

[C]

One thing you want to do is use the right words, use correct language. So no nonsensical baby speak, no goo goo gaga, no making up words for their body parts or all the stuff around the house. But all of the experts encouraged this behavior. They said even if it feels silly, even if it doesn't come supernatural, lean into that kind of sing songy parentes voice or when you feel moved, even full on, sing to your baby. They don't care if you can follow a tune. They are still gonna love it. And the long term benefits of this are really pretty remarkable. For example, Amelia told me about this one study that monitored how parents talk to their children from 6 months old all the way to kindergarten.

[E]

So if their parents used more parenties at five on average, they are producing longer sentences, they have bigger vocabularies, they are more complex in their conversations and even showing some improved reading readiness. So these early language inputs that parentees the back and forth conversations, that is so critical and is really helping build that strong foundation that then each next language milestone can build on.

[B]

Okay, what about the one sided conversations? Because I mean for the first year of life it is often one sided. And I wonder, should you be leaving space for them to answer you?

[C]

You absolutely should. It's another big yes. The technique you're referring to is sometimes called serve in return or sometimes a conversational turn. The thing about this is yes, they're not going to be able to respond with speech, but there's a lot of different ways they might be responding to you. It might be a gesture or a wave of their arms, it might just be that their eyes start to follow you later. It might be facial expressions, it might be cooing, it might be those early vocalizations. But you definitely want to leave that space open for them because even if it's not right away, it's starting to build that muscle for them. It's starting to show them. This is what a conversation is, this is what language looks and sounds like.

[B]

You know, I feel like the elephant in the room here is screens and language learning on YouTube or on TV. I mean we know those programs exist and babies and kids and parents love them. Everything from like Sesame street to Miss Rachel. But are they a substitute for that human in person interaction?

[C]

They are not. So what Amelia told me is that it's the social setting that unlocks the brain for learning. We really need that social input as humans to learn, especially when we're really young. So there've been a lot of interesting Studies on this. One of those studies out of ILABS was the study they did of infants learning Mandarin. So they took babies from English speaking households and put them in three groups. Some of the babies they put in front of screens where they were Mandarin speakers, some heard audio recordings of Mandarin. And then the last group they took and put in a room with live Mandarin speakers. And over 12 sessions, what they found was that the babies in front of screens and with audio recordings didn't really learn anything. Oh, wow. But the babies that had live interactions with people speaking Mandarin were able to tell the difference between the sounds of Mandarin and as well as babies who were born in Taiwan. So as well as native speakers.

[B]

That's huge.

[C]

Yeah. So one on one in person parentes is most beneficial for your baby's language development. You need to be giving them those quality interactions. And to define that even further for you, let me introduce you to Nayran Ramirez Esparza. She's an associate professor at the University of Connecticut in the department of Psychological Sciences. She was part of a research project that recorded babies and their families to try and understand how language learning happens in the home. The infant benefits the most when the interaction is with one other person and there is no like group interaction or two people are talking to the baby or there is a lot of things happening.

[E]

So it's just this one on one

[C]

interaction between the infant and the caregiver giver. And that's when the baby talk really helps the infants later in their lives versus like putting baby in a playpen and everyone talking around them or you know, siblings playing nearby where they're hearing a lot of language. People might have thought previously it's helpful for them just to hear things. It might be, but not anywhere to the same degree as when they're getting that one on one talking time, that one on one quality connection with one person.

[B]

One thing that I've noticed some of the parents in my life doing with their babies is teaching them hand signals before they know words or before they're saying the words. So it's like this means milk or this means all done. Is that helpful?

[C]

I mean, all done is baby sign language. That will live in my brain forever. It's burned onto my brain. I will be doing all done until I am all done. Yeah. A lot of parents are curious about baby sign language. Generally a lot more accessible than verbal communication at first. I know, we tried. We picked up a book that had like the hundred most common baby sign language words and we have like 10 leftover.

[B]

Does he still do them now that he talks.

[C]

Yeah, he does. Sometimes he'll get, like, really excited about a dinner. More, more, more, more, more. Or dessert or something, you know, and it'll just like come out. But there's a lot of them that have just like fallen away. But more specifically more. And all done are the ones that we still have.

[B]

What about reading to your baby? I wonder how early we should be doing that.

[C]

It's never too early. It's never too early and never too often. A simple pro tip I loved from Jessica was to read books face to face with your baby instead of just putting them towards the book. So the reason why you do that is that they can see your facial expressions so they can get that social learning boost as well. And while you're at it, don't be scared to whip out all your literary devices and your terrible singing voice. You want to be as animated as possible. Because, remember, it's not just about the language. They're getting social learning. That's why Roger says nursery rhymes are actually really helpful for brain development. You know, you want to paint a picture for them as vivid as you can. I don't know when or why this became a thing, but our transition song out of the Bathtub at Night is Take Me out to the Ball Game. But I changed the lyrics of Take Me out to the Ball Game, so now it's Take Teddy out of the Bathtub Take. That's all I give you. You don't need more than that for your sake. So on that note, I think. I think that's a very good reminder, you know, that you don't have to take it too seriously. That said, you do want to try to be mindful when life can get stressful. There's a lot of devices around us all the time. Jessica says it can be easy sometimes for some of that critical language to get lost in the home.

[D]

There is a lot that's distracting us as parents now. There's a lot happening on our own phones. We're texting people, we're checking for important updates. So in general, it's a little harder for parents today to be present with their children, but you gotta try.

[B]

Andy, thank you so much for this.

[C]

Thank you, Muriel.

[B]

Alright, time for a recap.

[C]

Takeaway.

[B]

One, Surround your baby with language. Talk to them every day. If you're not sure what to say, try narrating what you're doing or taking them on a house tour. If you speak another language, talk to them in that language too. It's never too early to start and Research shows that bilingual kids have a lot of advantages, like they're better at thinking flexibly and focusing their attention. Takeaway 2 Go ahead, speak parentees. That's when you modify your delivery because you're talking to a baby. You might do things like slowing down, varying your pitch and tone, and saying things in a high pitch like I love your little toes. Those things can make it easier for a baby to start recognizing and deciphering words. What you want to avoid, though, is nonsensical or made up words. Takeaway 3 Leave space for your baby to start responding. It might feel weird at first, but don't talk non stop. Ask them a question and pause that teaches them what conversation sounds like. And even if they don't speak to you in the moment, they might follow you with their eyes or wave their arms or make a sweet little baby sound. Takeaway 4 Nothing beats one on one in person interaction. That is what's going to help your baby develop their language skills and takeaway 5 make learning language fun for them. Sing songs. Read books it's never too early for more Life Kit. Check out our other episodes. We have one on how to travel with the baby and another on everything you need to know about car seats. Also, we love hearing from you, so if you have episode ideas or feedback you want to share, email [e-mail] this episode of Life Kit was produced by Sylvie Douglas. Our digital editor is Malika Garib and our visuals editor is CJ Reekalon. Meghan Keane is our senior supervising editor and Beth Donovan is our executive producer. Our production team also includes Claire Marie Schneider and Margaret Serino. Engineering support comes from Nisha Hynes. Fact Checking by Andrea Lopez Crusado I'm Marielle Segarra. Thanks for listening.

[A]

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