Tiny pep talks for everyday problems

Summary

Life Kit – "Tiny Pep Talks for Everyday Problems"

Host: Marielle Segarra
Guests: Paula Skaggs & Josh Linden, authors of Tiny Pep Talks
Date: August 6, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of Life Kit centers on the art of the pep talk—those small, supportive conversations that can help you through everyday challenges. Host Marielle Segarra speaks with writers Paula Skaggs and Josh Linden, who co-authored Tiny Pep Talks, a book full of motivational speeches for life's small, but daunting, moments. The episode explores how to craft effective pep talks for yourself and others, using a practical framework and real examples to encourage listeners to bring more positivity and support into their daily lives.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Importance of Tiny Pep Talks

• Common Experiences:
  Marielle opens by sharing the universal feeling of wanting to do something, but lacking motivation or confidence in the moment.

  "I want you to think about the last time you...just didn't have the juice. You got scared or...lost motivation. Friend, I believe what you needed in that moment was a pep talk." (00:16 – Marielle Segarra)

• Why the Book?
  Paula and Josh discuss how their pep talk habit emerged naturally from creative collaborations and everyday challenges, especially while running a small business together during the pandemic.

  “We were giving ourselves pep talks or giving each other pep talks all of the time for, for everything. For our eighth trip to the post office that day or for everything else under the sun.” (04:59 – Paula Skaggs)
  “There wasn't someone who was saying, you know, hey, you can go ahead and you can parallel park. You got this. And so it kind of came from that idea.” (05:17 – Josh Linden)

The Pep Talk Framework: Four Essential Rules

1. Be Specific

   "It's more helpful than general encouragement if you are specific...tailoring the pep talk to the specific anxiety, nerves, excitement that they have." (06:16 – Josh Linden)

2. Not Just for Big Things

   “They can also be for something small that you know it's going to bug your friend or you know that maybe they're excited about while also being a little bit nervous about.” (06:43 – Paula Skaggs)

3. Don't Always Include Advice

   "You don't have to have all the answers to give someone a pep talk. Sometimes also, people don't want or need solutions...the pep talk in some cases can just be encouragement." (07:27 – Josh Linden)
   Marielle adds:
   "Sometimes I feel like I need permission to stop trying at something." (08:16 – Marielle Segarra)

4. Keep It Simple

   "It doesn't have to be a halftime speech…It can just be as simple as a voice note or a text or a post-it note or whatever it is to give your person encouragement." (08:46 – Paula Skaggs)

Real-World Pep Talk Examples

Marielle requests sample pep talks for common challenges:

• When you want to order delivery, but you know you should cook:
  Josh delivers a quick, humorous pep talk walking listeners step-by-step through resisting the temptation and finding creativity with what’s in the fridge:

  "Don't go anywhere near your phone. Throw it across the room if you have to...maybe past you thought radishes were a good idea...now that you've been reacquainted with these radishes, you've got something to work with." (09:19 – Josh Linden)
  "Once you find a recipe that seems moderately appetizing, get to chopping. And just like that, you've saved $19. Now get cooking." (10:41 – Josh Linden)
  Marielle reflects:
  “I think it's super specific, as you said. And also, I feel like this one falls in the category of helping someone do the thing that they know they should do… but they don't want to do in this moment.” (10:41 – Marielle Segarra)

• When your clothes don’t fit anymore:
  Paula provides a compassionate, affirming pep talk:

  “They're just clothes. That's it. They're just clothes...Think about how much you've experienced since you bought your old clothes...And thank goodness, bodies do change. Otherwise, we'd all still be walking around with the slumping shoulders and raging BO of our middle school selves…These old clothes have served you well, but now it's time to stick them in the donation pile...Then you're gonna go out and enjoy your life in clothes that reflect the vibrant, exciting, magnetic person you are and always have been." (11:08 – Paula Skaggs)
  Marielle summarizes the takeaway:
  “Nobody knows the size of your pants, truly, so just wear ones that fit.” (12:38 – Marielle Segarra)

Pep Talks for Yourself

• Paula reflects on self-pep talks:

  “To give yourself a pep talk, it's probably the same format as giving a pep talk to somebody you love. And you should give yourself the same amount of grace and encouragement and forgiveness and also the same expectation to not be perfect…” (13:00 – Paula Skaggs)

• Josh offers a practical self-encouragement technique:

  “No one is stopping you from...doing a voice note, pretending that you were talking to someone else, giving them a pep talk, and then you listen back to it when you need it.” (13:19 – Josh Linden)

• Marielle admits:

  "I've definitely said, like, you got this girl to myself." (13:41 – Marielle Segarra)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Josh on general advice:

  "You don't have to have all the answers to give someone a pep talk. Sometimes also, people don't want or need solutions." (07:27)

• Paula on changing bodies:

  "Thank goodness, bodies do change. Otherwise, we'd all still be walking around with the slumping shoulders and raging BO of our middle school selves." (11:35)

• Marielle’s practicality:

  "Nobody knows the size of your pants, truly, so just wear ones that fit." (12:38)

• Paula on format:

  "It can just be as simple as a voice note or a text or a post it note..." (08:46)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:16: Marielle introduces the value of pep talks
• 01:11: Meet the guests, Paula & Josh, and their book, Tiny Pep Talks
• 03:51: How the book was inspired by their improv and small business experiences
• 05:55: The four rules of a good pep talk
• 09:19: Examples of pep talks (ordering delivery vs. cooking, clothes not fitting)
• 13:00: How to give yourself a pep talk
• 14:00: Episode recap

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Recap & Takeaways

• Pep talks are most helpful when they’re specific, not just generic encouragement.
• They are valuable for everyday hurdles, not just life’s biggest moments.
• Advice isn’t always necessary; sometimes, all people need is support or permission.
• Keep it simple—thoughtful words count more than grand speeches.
• Give yourself the same kindness and encouragement you’d offer a friend.

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For more inspiration and practical advice, follow @NPRLifeKit on Instagram.

(Production credits and additional info omitted as per instructions.)

Transcript

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[Marielle Segarra]

You're listening to Life Kit from NPR. Hey, it's Marielle. I want you to think about the last time you knew you had to do something or you wanted to do something, at least in theory. But then the moment came and you just didn't have the juice. You got scared or you started to doubt yourself. You lost motivation, friend. I believe what you needed in that moment was a pep talk.

[Paula Skaggs]

I have to give myself a pep talk every single time I parallel park and I live in Chicago, so I am constantly parallel parking. And every single time, without fail, I have to talk myself down, remind myself I can do it, remind myself that I've done it before, that I'm capable. And I don't think that will ever change. I think I'll just never get used to parallel parking and I will just have to keep keep being used to giving myself the pep talks.

[Marielle Segarra]

This is Paula Skaggs. She and fellow writer Josh Linden wrote a book together called Tiny Pep Talks, and it's full of motivational speeches for life's small but still daunting moments. The moment when it's terrible outside but your dog needs to pee, or when you're really bad at something that you've never tried before, or when you have a little crush. The point of a pep talk is encouragement, of course, and it's also a simple act of support, really, just the

[Josh Linden]

concept of you're on their side, you're in their corner, you're their friend, you've got their back. And they can do this.

[Marielle Segarra]

On this episode of Life Kit, how to give a good pep talk after writing a whole bunch of them for the book, keep Josh and Paula have tips for us. And by the way, they say you can give pep talks to yourself, too.

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[Marielle Segarra]

What made you want to write this book?

[Paula Skaggs]

Josh and I met doing improv comedy here in Chicago, where we live. And over the pandemic, we, like everybody else, were like, what are we going to do with all of our now spare time? And the theaters were closed and we ended up creating a conversation card game called no Wrong Answers. And we jokingly quote, unquote, guarantee that they're questions you've never been asked before, like which cereal mascot would be the best kisser?

[Marielle Segarra]

Well, which one do you think?

[Paula Skaggs]

The number one answer we get, like far and away is Tony the Tiger.

[Marielle Segarra]

Oh, yeah.

[Paula Skaggs]

Nine out of ten times.

[Marielle Segarra]

I totally forgot about him. I was gonna say the Trix Rabbit.

[Paula Skaggs]

Oh, that's a good one too.

[Josh Linden]

Yeah. And it's not who you're gonna spend your life with. It's really just who would be the best kisser for you.

[Marielle Segarra]

Yeah, I'm not marrying the Trix Rabbit. They seem like a lot of work to be around and always hopping around from here to their confidence issues. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so you, you had this card game. Sorry, complete aside. But I, I needed to dive in there.

[Paula Skaggs]

No, I'm glad, I'm glad we got it. So, you know, just with any small business, Josh and I found that we were giving ourselves pep talks or giving each other pep talks all of the time for, for everything. For our eighth trip to the post office that day or for everything else under the sun.

[Josh Linden]

And then also, you know, Just as two people who are collaborators and co creators and friends just giving each other pep talks for our lives and realizing that, you know, you can get a pep talk for all the really big stuff. You know, you're gonna get married, you need to kick the game winning field goal at the super bowl, you're going to Mars, whatever the big idea is. But all the, you know, day to day stuff we didn't really have. There wasn't someone who was saying, you know, hey, you can go ahead and you can parallel park. You got this. And so it kind of came from that idea. And then we had the opportunity to turn this into a book. And that's how tinyptox was born.

[Marielle Segarra]

Do you have any rules for a pep talk on what it should include or should not include?

[Josh Linden]

Yeah, we have kind of a framework that we use for ourselves when we're writing pep talks. So we kind of have four key things that we look out for when we're thinking about giving someone a pep talk. And the first one is that we want it to be specific.

[Marielle Segarra]

Okay.

[Josh Linden]

So it's more helpful than general encouragement if you are specific about the way that you are helping someone. You know, if you're giving this to a friend, they're probably nervous or excited about a specific thing, not just in general. So making sure that you're really kind of listening to what they need and tailoring the pep talk to the specific anxiety, nerves, excitement that they have.

[Marielle Segarra]

Okay, what's next? What's number two?

[Paula Skaggs]

Pep talks aren't only for the really big things or the things that we know a friend or a family member or whoever is going through a very hard time. They can also be for something small that you know it's going to bug your friend or you know that maybe they're excited about while also being a little bit nervous about small. So if somebody mentions, hey, I'm feeling nervous about a presentation I have next week, just remembering that and giving a little short pep talk about you're going to be great at your presentation. And here's XYZ reason it can be really meaningful. It can be just as meaningful as the big things when people are probably getting support from a bunch of places.

[Marielle Segarra]

Rule number one is be specific. And rule number two is pep talks don't just have to be about the huge things in life. What's number three?

[Josh Linden]

Number three is that your pep talk doesn't always have to include advice. If you have a genuine perspective and experience that would be helpful in that particular situation. By all means, your friend probably wants to hear that, and that's probably why they came to you in the first place, is because they want your advice in that scenario. But high level advice is totally okay. It can be things like, take a breath. That's totally fine. You don't have to have all the answers to give someone a pep talk. Sometimes also, people don't want or need solutions. That whole idea of, you know, are you looking for someone to listen or are you looking for solutions? The pep talk in some cases can just be encouragement and being witness to the challenges that they're going through, the excitement that they're having, whatever it might be.

[Marielle Segarra]

I find that it's helpful for me when a friend is just like, it's okay to stop doing that thing. Sometimes I feel like I need permission to stop trying at something.

[Paula Skaggs]

Yeah, absolutely. And like a pep talk, it doesn't have to be something revolutionary that the person you're giving it to has never heard of or has never thought of before. Sometimes it's just reminding them of the thing that they already know to be true.

[Marielle Segarra]

Yeah. Okay. You said there were four pep talk rules you'd come up with. What's the last one?

[Paula Skaggs]

So our final one is basically keep it simple. A pep talk doesn't have to be a formally written book. It doesn't have to be a halftime speech from a coach that's really thought out. It can just be as simple as a voice note or a text or a post it note or whatever it is to give your person encouragement. It doesn't have to be something really formal that you spend a ton of time and thought on.

[Marielle Segarra]

All right, I'd love for you to give me a few pep talks. There are a lot that I liked from the book. How about for when you want to order delivery, but you really should cook.

[Josh Linden]

Perfect. All right, quick, we don't have a lot of time before you abandon all plans to cook tonight and order that overpriced gourmet burger. So we've got to work fast. First, don't go anywhere near your phone. Throw it across the room if you have to. Your phone is a portal to every restaurant in a 10 mile radius, and they're all waiting and ready to send you food with the click of a button, plus a $7.99 delivery fee. Next, open your fridge. Take it all in. It's okay if there's not a lot of food in there, or if it's mostly just gourmet hot sauces. For example, maybe past you thought radishes were a good idea, so here we are staring at a crisper drawer. Chock a block with radishes. That's a start or maybe an end. Before you open the fridge, you had to choose between every recipe ever created. That's too big a choice for a Wednesday night. Of course, you'd rather get delivery. But now that you've been reacquainted with these radishes, you've got something to work with. You're no longer burdened by the curse of unlimited choice. Next, go ahead and Google recipes that use radishes. Or go analog by grabbing a cookbook off your shelf, blowing off the accumulated dust we assume has gathered, and finding radish in the index. Once you find a recipe that seems moderately appetizing, get to chopping. And just like that, you've saved $19. Now get cooking.

[Marielle Segarra]

Excellent. I have this temptation all the time, and so it definitely resonated for me. And I think it's super specific, as you said. And also, I feel like this one falls in the category of helping someone do the thing that they know they should do and they want to do because it aligns with their values but they don't want to do in this moment. Yeah, Paula, can you give me a pep talk for when my clothes don't fit?

[Paula Skaggs]

Yes, absolutely. Okay, so your old clothes aren't fitting you Bear with us, because we're going to say a thing that you already know, but that doesn't make it any less important to hear. They're just clothes. That's it. They're just clothes. You know what the world is full of? Discount mattress stores, new and improved laundry detergents, acoustic covers of Fast Car by Tracy Chapman, and also articles of clothing. So, so many articles of clothing, including ones that will fit you comfortably, are going to make you feel good and won't bum you out every time you try to wear them. And you deserve to find those. Think about how much you've experienced since you bought your old clothes. The things you've learned, the trips you've taken, the trashy British dating shows you've binged. You've changed. And naturally, your body has, too. And thank goodness, bodies do change. Otherwise, we'd all still be walking around with the slumping shoulders and raging BO of our middle school selves. You're not static, emotionally or physically. No one is. That's why nobody has ever said the words and the best thing about them. They've worn the same size of jeans since puberty. These old clothes have served you well, but now it's time to stick them in the donation pile or at the very least, into the depths of your closet, where they're not serving as a daily reminder of the size you arbitrarily think you should still be. And then you're gonna go out and enjoy your life in clothes that reflect the vibrant, exciting, magnetic person you are and always have been.

[Marielle Segarra]

Yeah, I love this one. Nobody knows the size of your pants, truly, so just wear ones that fit.

[Paula Skaggs]

Yeah, we just. Sometimes it just helps. Even though that is the pep talk that you would probably give to somebody in your life that came to you feeling that sometimes it's hard to tell those words to ourselves.

[Marielle Segarra]

Do y' all give yourself pep talks?

[Paula Skaggs]

You know, in our mind, to give yourself a pep talk, it's probably the same format as giving a pep talk to somebody you love. And you should give yourself the same amount of grace and encouragement and forgiveness and also the same expectation to not be perfect and to not nail it right off the bat.

[Josh Linden]

No one is stopping you from, you know, deciding to do a voice note, pretending that you were talking to someone else, giving them a pep talk, and then you listen back to it, you know, when you need it. It doesn't have to be, you know, reciting mantras and affirmations in the mirror. It can be all those kinds of things that we've talked about just apply to yourself.

[Marielle Segarra]

I've definitely said, like, you got this girl to myself.

[Paula Skaggs]

Yeah.

[Marielle Segarra]

It could be simple, even, like, okay, you got this. Or like, stay calm.

[Paula Skaggs]

Write yourself a. Post it.

[Marielle Segarra]

Okay. Josh, Paula, thank you so much.

[Josh Linden]

Yeah, thank you so much. Thrilled to be here.

[Paula Skaggs]

We really appreciate it. We had a great time.

[Marielle Segarra]

All right, time for a recap. Pep talks should be specific, and you can give them during life's smaller moments and challenges, too. They don't always have to include advice, and it's a good idea to keep them simple. Also, don't forget to give yourself pep talks, too. If you love Life Kit and you want even more, follow us on Instagram NPR LifeKit. There you'll find videos featuring some of our favorite tips, like a recent one where our producer, Margaret Serino, demonstrates three exercises that improve agility. You can find those by following PRLifeKit. This episode of Life Kit was produced by Claire Marie Schneider. Our digital editor is Malika Garib, and our visuals editor is CJ Ricolon. Meghan Kane is our senior supervising editor, and Lauren Gonzalez is our executive producer. Our production team also includes Andy Tagle, Margaret Serino, and Sylvie Douglas. Engineering support comes from Jay Siz. I'm Marielle Segarra. Thanks for listening.

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