Want to get pregnant? There’s more to it than you think

Summary

Podcast Summary

Life Kit (NPR)

Episode: Want to get pregnant? There's more to it than you think
Date: July 9, 2026
Host: Marielle Segarra
Guests: Andy Tagle (Life Kit Reporter), Dr. Lucky Cecahn (Reproductive Endocrinologist), Dr. Sarah Oreck (Reproductive Psychiatrist)

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Overview:

This episode of Life Kit digs into the realities of trying to get pregnant through sex, dismantling common myths, and offering a wealth of practical advice, science, and empathy for anyone considering conception. The discussion focuses on heterosexual intercourse as the means of conception but nods to future coverage of non-traditional baby-making. Host Marielle Segarra and reporter Andy Tagle are joined by Dr. Lucky Cecahn and Dr. Sarah Oreck to explore expectations, fertility facts, the emotional landscape, and actionable takeaways.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Fertility Myth: It’s Not as Easy as They Say

• Early Sex Ed & General Perceptions:
  Andy and Marielle share how sex education made pregnancy seem almost inevitable, leading many to believe getting pregnant is simple and fast.

  • Quote (Andy Tagle, 00:26): “The messaging was like, it is so easy to get pregnant no matter how careful you are…if someone just looks at you a little too long or whatever.”

• Reality Check:
  In reality, even at peak fertility (early 20s–30s, regular unprotected sex), monthly odds of conception are only about 25–30% (Andy Tagle, 01:12).

• Emotional Impact:
  Many people internalize delays or difficulty as personal failure.

  • Quote (Dr. Lucky Cecahn, 02:00): “A lot of people feel like their bodies are broken or that they've done something wrong…when in reality, so much of our fertility is not in our control.”

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2. There’s No All-Purpose Fertility Test

• Reality of Fertility Testing:
  Patients frequently want definitive answers about their fertility status before trying. Unfortunately, no comprehensive test exists.

  • Quote (Dr. Lucky Cecahn, 06:57): “The best test for fertility is to try, which is the most annoying, unhelpful answer, right? But it’s kind of this confluence of factors…”

• The “Reproductive Slot Machine”:
  Human reproduction is described as inherently inefficient and somewhat luck-based.

  • Quote (Dr. Lucky Cecahn, 07:38): “I talk about it in my book as being a sort of reproductive slot machine…pulling the lever is timing when to try…”

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3. How Pregnancy Actually Happens: The Biology

• Reproductive Science Crash Course:

  • Each cycle, one egg is released, and it lives for 12–24 hours.
  • Sperm can survive in the tract for 3–5 days, creating a “fertile window.”
  • Even perfect timing doesn’t guarantee fertilization or successful pregnancy; many conceptions end before implantation.

• Odds and Timeframes:

  • 80% of healthy couples conceive in the first six months; up to 95% within two years (Andy Tagle, 09:17).

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4. Tracking Your Cycle Is Crucial

• Getting Off Hormonal Birth Control:

  • To effectively track ovulation, hormonal contraceptives should be discontinued.
  • Most people resume periods within a month, but it can take up to 3–6 months for some.
    • Advice (Dr. Lucky Cecahn, 12:54): “…unless you're prepared to get pregnant or…to use a backup method, right, like condoms, don’t get off the pill.”

• Cycle Tracking Methods:

  • Use calendars, apps, ovulation test kits.
  • Monitor basal body temperature and cervical mucus.
  • Three months of tracking is recommended to get an accurate sense of your cycle.
    • Quote (Dr. Lucky Cecahn, 15:18): “Give yourself at least three months, four months of tracking your cycle and collecting data…”

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5. Red Flags and When to Seek Help

• Irregular, heavy, or painful cycles might signal treatable conditions like endometriosis or PCOS, affecting fertility (Dr. Lucky Cecahn, 14:41).

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6. Fertility Is a Team Sport: The 50/50 Rule

• Male Factor Fertility:

  • Male reproductive health counts for about half of infertility cases.
  • Sperm quality can be impacted by lifestyle factors and is highly reversible.
    • Quote (Dr. Lucky Cecahn, 17:18): “…a lot of the things that we see are reversible.”
  • Common issues: tight clothing, heat exposure, cannabis, excessive alcohol, and nicotine.

• Testing Sperm Is Easy and Actionable:

  • Simple tests exist and changes in habits can improve outcomes within months.
    • Example (Dr. Lucky Cecahn, 17:34): “I’ve had couples where the husband was like a professional biker…led to lower sperm quality.”

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7. Lifestyle Choices for Both Partners

• General Recommendations:

  • Exercise (150 minutes/week), minimize stress, follow a heart-healthy/Mediterranean diet, avoid sugary drinks.

  • For women, start prenatal vitamins (folic acid, iron, DHA) 1–3 months before trying.

  • Quote (Dr. Lucky Cecahn, 18:36): “Whatever is better for heart health is typically going to be…protective when it comes to fertility…”

• Environmental Factors:

  • Limit exposure to BPAs, pesticides, heavy metals.

• Big Reminder:

  • Fertility is not “logical” – there is no single cause or guaranteed method.
    • Quote (Dr. Lucky Cecahn, 20:16): “At the end of the day, it’s never someone’s fault and it's very, very unfair.”

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8. When to Get Medical Help: The Age Factor

• Age, Timing, and Genetics:

  • Genetics, cycle characteristics, and especially age all impact odds.
    • <35: Try for 1 year before seeking help.
    • 35–40: Try for six months before seeking help.

    • 40: Seek help after 3 months (Dr. Lucky Cecahn, 21:23).

  • Fertility rates decline with age due to both egg quality and quantity; by 37–38, odds are 50/50.

• AMH Test:

  • AMH can give a sense of egg reserve but isn’t the whole story; decisions should be based on the bigger picture.

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9. Optimizing Baby-Making Sex

• Communication:
  • Be direct and set expectations with your partner about timing and frequency.
    • Quote (Sarah Oreck, 25:26): “Just setting expectations can be so important. I think we should…have sex during these days of my ovulation window.”
• Frequency:
  • Best to have sex daily during the five days leading up to ovulation and day of ovulation. Saving up sperm is not beneficial.
    • Quote (Dr. Lucky Cecahn, 26:20): “If you are abstinent for too long, over a week, you can actually build up dead old sperm cells. They need to get out, right?”
• Positions and Rituals:
  • No specific position or orgasm required; keep things comfortable and relaxed.
• Maintain Intimacy:
  • Reevaluate what brings intimacy to your relationship amid goal-oriented sex.
    • Quote (Sarah Oreck, 27:02): “…what turns you on…does that mean a date? …really assessing that for yourselves…”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Each egg that you ovulate each month is kind of like a long shot.”
  —Dr. Lucky Cecahn (07:17)
• “Treating food as medicine is a real thing…”
  —Dr. Lucky Cecahn (19:02)
• “No single lifestyle factor…At the end of the day, it’s never someone’s fault and it’s very, very unfair.”
  —Dr. Lucky Cecahn (20:16)
• “Fertility isn’t logical.”
  —Dr. Lucky Cecahn (20:16)
• “Trying to make a baby is probably going to change your sex life. Why not have some fun along the way?”
  —Andy Tagle (27:27)

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Time-stamped Guide to Key Segments

• Fertility myths & perceptions: 00:15–02:48
• No universal fertility “test”: 06:16–07:10
• Fertility mechanics & odds: 07:10–10:14
• Tracking cycles & coming off hormonal birth control: 10:14–15:29
• The male fertility factor: 15:57–16:55
• Lifestyle and environment: 17:18–20:16
• Age and when to seek help: 20:32–23:17
• Egg/sperm quality and AMH: 23:11–24:15
• Optimizing conception sex & intimacy: 25:26–27:27
• Recap of all takeaways: 27:27–28:09

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Episode Takeaways Recap

1. Human reproduction is inefficient—and luck plays a big role.
2. To track your period, you need to get off hormonal birth control and be patient as your body adjusts.
3. Cycle tracking is important for understanding your reproductive health.
4. Fertility is 50/50: Both partners can (and should) optimize health and habits.
5. There’s no foolproof fertility test for women; timing, age, and genetics matter, but you may not know your situation until you try.
6. Trying to conceive will likely change your sex life—communicate with your partner, prioritize intimacy, and try to enjoy the process.

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For further details, Life Kit has additional episodes on related topics like egg freezing.

Transcript

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[Marielle Segarra]

It's so interesting to me how we think about pregnancy and sex. Like, if you don't want to get pregnant, it feels like it could happen so easily, basically, if you let your guard down at all.

[Sarah Oreck]

Yeah.

[Andy Tagle]

As a woman, especially, like, my whole life, you know, I'm thinking about that very first sex ed class that I think was, like, in seventh grade. The messaging was like, it is so easy to get pregnant no matter how careful you are, no matter how much protection you use. You know, if someone just looks at you a little too long or whatever.

[Marielle Segarra]

Yeah. Or you're like, in a hot tub with a boy.

[Andy Tagle]

Yeah.

[Marielle Segarra]

Like. But, yeah. Then for a lot of women, when the switch flips and they're actually ready to get pregnant, it doesn't happen right away.

[Andy Tagle]

And they're like, what's going on?

[Marielle Segarra]

Which is why we're doing this whole episode about what it actually takes to get pregnant through sex. By the way, you're listening to Life Kit. I'm Marielle Segarra, and I'm talking to Life Kit reporter Andy Tagle.

[Andy Tagle]

That's right. And there's more to getting pregnant than you think. For some people, it can be that simple, but everyone's gonna have a different experience based on a lot of different factors. To give you an idea, from a statistical standpoint, at what's considered peak fertility, we're talking about people in their early 20s to early 30s having regular, unprotected sex to try and conceive. You only have around a 25 to 30% chance of getting pregnant in any given month.

[Sarah Oreck]

Wow.

[Marielle Segarra]

I've been lied to. I know.

[Andy Tagle]

Isn't that I was. I was shocked by this. But as the experts I talked to told me, that huge gap between what you're taught and in high school or middle school and what you actually experience when you're trying to conceive can be really jarring for a lot of people. Here's reproductive endocrinologist Dr. Lucky.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

A lot of people feel like their bodies are broken or that they've done something wrong. I've had patients even say, is it because I drank too much in college? And I think it is a very natural human nature tendency, especially for women, I might add, to kind of internalize things and blame themselves and take on more responsibility for things, when in reality, so much of our fertility is not in our control.

[Marielle Segarra]

That's actually really helpful to know because I can hard relate to that saying, is it because I drank too much in college? You know, did I cause this problem?

[Andy Tagle]

Right? Is it me? But you know, Marielle, one antidote to feeling disempowered is information. And this episode is absolutely fertile with know how that can help if you're thinking about getting pregnant.

[Marielle Segarra]

All right, what are some of the topics you're going to get into?

[Andy Tagle]

We'll do a little conception science crash course. We're going to cover the basic factors that can and cannot affect your ability to get pregnant. We're going to help you think about your timing. Lots, lots more.

[Marielle Segarra]

That's coming up after the break.

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[Marielle Segarra]

a lot of Us have basically a mini beauty product store in our bathrooms and it's easy to feel like if you don't use the right serums, CRE acids and toners, you're somehow doomed to having bad skin. But do you really need all those products? Life Kit made a special newsletter series to help you figure out your skincare goals and what you actually need. Sign [e-mail] skincare or find the link in the description for this episode.

[Andy Tagle]

One thing I do want to quickly note up front for listeners, this episode is going to focus on the so called traditional way to make a baby, meaning through heterosexual intercourse. We want to acknowledge, of course, there are lots of ways to make a baby and endless ways to make a family. And we plan to give that non traditional baby making its own spotlight with a companion episode to this one in the near future. So keep an ear out. Alright, I'm pretty sure I know why a lot of you are listening right now, so let's cut to the chase. You want to know when you should start trying, right? You want to know if you need to worry. Like if you were to walk into your doctor's office, you might say, I'm

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

not ready yet, but I want you to do whatever testing you can and I want you to tell me if I'm good and how long I'll be good for. And I just want to make sure I'm not going to have any issues.

[Andy Tagle]

That was Dr. Lucky Cecahn again. She's a New York City based infertility expert and author of the aptly named new book the Lucky Egg, which is a fertility guidebook of sorts. Lucky says she gets this request from patients all the time and it's great to plan ahead, but the problem is there's no such thing as an all encompassing female fertility test. Sorry to break it to you, no nasal swab, no blood draw.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

The best test for fertility is to try, which is the most annoying, unhelpful answer, right? But it's kind of this confluence of factors and you have to actually try and see how those factors come together.

[Andy Tagle]

The first of those factors you need to understand is the process of reproduction itself because it can be tricky.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

Each egg that you ovulate each month is kind of like a long shot. So I feel like I need to get that put on T shirts because it's like one of my slogans at this point.

[Andy Tagle]

And that leads us to our bit of a downer but crucial to know up front. Takeaway. Human reproduction is inefficient and not totally in Your hands.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

I talk about it in my book as being a sort of reproductive slot machine, where pulling the lever is timing when to try, but whether everything after that lines up is so out of our control.

[Andy Tagle]

This part, ovulation, I'm assuming you already know about. Every cycle, a single egg cell, chosen at random, travels down the fallopian tube, where it can live for 12 to 24 hours. Around that time, or a little before, you want to shoot some millions of sperm cells up the vagina through the cervix to meet it. Those guys can live in the reproductive tract for about three to five days.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

So there's this very narrow fertile window, this narrow window of opportunity each cycle.

[Andy Tagle]

But get this, just getting the egg and sperm in the right place at the right time doesn't guarantee a connection will take place.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

It's like saying going on a date guarantees you're going to find your life partner. That's not true. And the same is true of the chemistry between the egg and the sperm. And it's like maybe 70, 80% of the time the timing is right. An egg might fertilize successfully. This is extrapolation from what we see in an IVF lab, where we really try to orchestrate that meeting happening.

[Andy Tagle]

If sperm and egg do hit it off, there's still a few more hurdles before you've made it to the finish line. Only about half of the time, a fertilized egg will continue to grow and make it to the next step, which is called the blastocyst stage. It takes about a week. That blastocyst then also has to find its way to the uterus. Sometimes it gets lost along the way, and once it arrives at the uterus, it has to implant and keep growing there.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

And so it takes a lot of energy, and a lot of them just don't make it to that stage.

[Andy Tagle]

So suffice it to say, there's a lot that has to go right in order to get pregnant. It is no exaggeration to call it the miracle of life. And I know that all might feel a bit discouraging or intimidating, but it might help you set more realistic expectations, minimize any shame and blame if you understand up front what the odds are. According to the American Society for reproductive medicine, approximately 80% of healthy heterosexual couples will conceive in the first six months of attempting pregnancy. From there, stats vary a bit, but some recent cumulative conception research has shown some 85 to 90% will conceive within a year, and 95% will get pregnant within two years. So your next question of course. What do you need to get pregnant when you want to? Like, should you be running straight to your OBGYN's office right this very minute?

[Sarah Oreck]

You know what I like? I like before even going to a doctor, it's like, learn about your cycle. I want you to know how long your menstrual cycle is.

[Andy Tagle]

Dr. Sarah Oreck is a mother of three and a reproductive psychiatrist.

[Sarah Oreck]

Which means that I specialize in how female reproductive hormones impact mental health throughout the life cycle.

[Andy Tagle]

She brings us to a quick takeaway to track a true period. Get off of hormonal birth control. Now, tracking your cycle isn't hard to do. You start by just marking the first day of your period on a calendar. But this might be a bigger ask for some than others, because in order to track your period, you have to have one and a true period at that. Not just the light or complete lack of a period. You might enjoy if you have an iud, the irregular spotting you might get with a depo shot, or what's called withdrawal bleeding, which is actually just a reaction to a drop in hormones, not a result of ovulation if you're using the pill, the patch or a vaginal ring. So if you're using a hormonal birth control method, like other millions of American women, this first so called simple step might be less so.

[Sarah Oreck]

You may find that the hormonal birth control was sometimes helping your mood. If you potentially had more premenstrual symptoms, some of those might come back, oh, this was helping my skin a lot. And I hadn't realized.

[Andy Tagle]

It might not be super fun to remove the barrier to a lot of pain, discomfort or oily skin. But it can be extremely useful, even critical, to your future reproductive health to get an idea of your sensitivity to hormones. Maybe, for example, you find you have really significant mood symptoms in the two weeks before your period.

[Sarah Oreck]

There's a chance you have pms, there's a chance you have premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which is like really escalated mood symptoms. Symptoms during that time. And having all that information is actually important because sometimes that PMDD can kind of have you in a risk bucket for maybe increased risk of pregnancy or postpartum depression or anxiety.

[Andy Tagle]

Another thing about getting off of birth control, with the exception of the depo Provera shot, you're going to want to consult your doctor if this is your chosen method. You don't have to plan for any ramp up time when getting off of it.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

Most people getting off of the pill will get their period, you know, pretty much within a month or so.

[Andy Tagle]

Now, I should say this isn't a hard and fast rule, like if you've been on birth control for decades. Lucky says there is a minority of people that might need somewhere between three to six months to get their pituitaries to fully wake up and get back to work, so to speak.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

Having said that, there are many people whose bodies will just snap back into the normal routine. And so unless you're prepared to get pregnant or you're prepared to use a backup method, right, like condoms, don't get off the pill. You know if you're using it for contraception.

[Andy Tagle]

Copy that. All right, now that you've brought back Aunt Flo, let's learn what she has to share. Takeaway 3 Track your menstrual cycle for clues about your reproductive health, Sarah says there are a few good reasons why anyone with a uterus should track their menstruation. For one, if you do want to start trying for a baby soon, once you have a general sense of the length of your menstrual cycle, it should be easier to pinpoint when you're ovulating, which generally happens around two weeks before the start of your next period.

[Sarah Oreck]

Start to learn Do I have a 26 day cycle? Do I have a 29? Is mine pretty regular? I say, like even buy ovulation test kits and see if you ovulate.

[Andy Tagle]

Check in with your body for signs and then track them. One way you might have heard of is through your basal body temperature, which is just the temperature of your body when it's fully at rest. You want to take it every day as soon as you wake up and then monitor for changes. Because when you ovulate, your basal body temp will increase slightly and we're talking super slight here, like from 98 degrees to 98.5 degrees. And ovulation is likely over when that high temperature has stuck around for three days or more.

[Sarah Oreck]

Another way to tell learning what your cervical mucus changes. I mean, I think many of us feel like, oh, something's kind of different. But if you have that sort of egg white texture to your cervical mucosa, it's likely that you're ovulating.

[Andy Tagle]

Another important reason to track is to spot and get ahead of any potential problem areas. For example, if you always get terrible cramps or your period never arrives on time, that could be signaling something about your ability to get pregnant in the future.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

If they start to note early on that these patterns are thrown off and there really isn't a pattern, this tells us that it could be more challenging and it makes sense to get to the bottom of what's going on now so that you have a plan to hit the ground running with once you are in a position to start trying.

[Andy Tagle]

Heavy irreg or painful periods could point to potential threats to fertility, like endometriosis or polyps, or PMOs, formerly known as PCOS, or these symptoms could be no problem at all. But you can't know until you start tracking. So do you have that first day of your period marked?

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[Andy Tagle]

Now just do it again.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

Give yourself at least three months, four months of tracking your cycle and collecting data to really be able to understand your reproductive rhythm reliably.

[Andy Tagle]

A.in red pen on your calendar and some notes in your planner are a fine way to start, but there are lots of online tools that can help here too. Of course, if you go this route, be sure to note up front how any interface will use and share your personal medical data. There are apps that can log symptoms, predict fertility, help you spot patterns, even share your cycle tracking with a partner. Which reminds me, thus far we've really only been talking about the person who carries the baby, but as we know, they're only half of this equation.

[Sarah Oreck]

I think boys should be educated around all of these issues as well. And then when it comes to fertility, it's really important to Note that about 50% is male.

[Andy Tagle]

Factor in fertility, male reproductive health. We'll jump into that after the break. Foreign.

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[Andy Tagle]

You're listening to Life Kit and It's time for takeaway four. Fertility is 50 50. Both sides can make lifestyle choices to boost their odds. So let's talk sperm, shall we? Where female fertility remains at least somewhat of a question mark until go time. I'll expand on that in a bit. Male fertility is extremely testable, largely non invasive, and the big one here is

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

that a lot of the things that we see are reversible.

[Andy Tagle]

Maybe you go in to get tested and your doctor says you have low motility or tells you that your sperm count is lower than the minimum threshold of 15 million sperm per milliliter.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

I've had couples where the husband was like a professional biker and that repetitive stress in that area we think led to lower sperm quality. And they'll say, okay, I'm going to stop doing this.

[Andy Tagle]

Then Lucky will retest two or three months later and see a big turnaround in the quality of the sample. Some other potentially reversible lifestyle factors for men, testicular trauma, overly tight underwear or other similar chronic scrotal exposure to heat. And yes, the rumors are true. Cannabis. Research shows cannabis is strongly linked to reduced sperm count and concentration, but the effects aren't permanent. The same goes for excessive alcohol consumption and nicotine in all forms. Top of the list for women who want to get pregnant in the near future is taking a daily prenatal vitamin starting at least one to three months before trying to conceive. Ingredients to look for include folic acid, iron and dha. Alright, so now let's jump into lifestyle factors for both men and women. To start. A general rule of thumb, whatever is

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

better for heart health is typically going to be better and protective when it comes to your fertility and also optimal in terms of setting you up for the healthiest pregnancy possible.

[Andy Tagle]

You want to try to get in that recommended 150 minutes of exercise a week, keep stress levels low and follow a heart healthy diet as best you can. You know, eat the rainbow, aim for Mediterranean style, high protein, low carb, lots of leafy green vegetables.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

Treating food as medicine is a real thing and I think you know, making sure that you are getting enough protein, enough fiber because that actually helps stabilize your blood sugar.

[Andy Tagle]

Lucky says this bit in particular can be impactful to fertility if you have a uterus because if you're churning out too much insulin, it can act like a growth factor on the ovaries and

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

can cause your ovaries to overproduce. Testosterone and when an egg is going through an ovulation cycle and again when it gets fertilized, it's actually undergoing a massive amount of genetic reorganization. And that's where those errors happen.

[Andy Tagle]

This is important advice for men too. Maybe you've heard that Mountain Dew or other sodas can shrink your sperm count. That's a myth. No research shows direct links to caffeine intake and fertility. But consuming lots of sugary drinks, not a good idea for that blood sugar. Lastly, what about environmental factors? BPAs, pesticides, heavy metals and air pollution have all been shown to disrupt hormonal balances, which can in turn affect fertility overall. So do what you can, but also know you can only do what you can because at the end of the day, as Lucky says, fertility isn't logical.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

There's no single lifestyle factor or something that they did, which we can say this is the cause of that. At the end of the day, it's never someone's fault and it's very, very unfair.

[Andy Tagle]

And the thing is, you just don't know where you fall until you know. Takeaway.

[Marielle Segarra]

5.

[Andy Tagle]

Timing Conception is an educated guess at best. The only true way to test female fertility is to try to have a baby.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

A lot of it is age, timing and our genetic makeup.

[Andy Tagle]

Let's take those in. Reverse fertility, red flag number one genetic makeup. So if you have irregular, heavy or painful cycles, hopefully you have a good idea of that one now or a strong family history of any other major

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

gynecological issues, whether that be endometriosis, fibroids, pcos, there's a major heritability factor there. If you have a first degree relative with some of these issues, it increases your personal risk by several fold.

[Andy Tagle]

Next, timing. If you're healthy and under 35, it's recommended you try to get pregnant on your own for at least one full year before or seeking out any infertility treatments.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

If you're 35 and older, you shouldn't wait longer than six months. And if you're in your 40s, you shouldn't wait longer than the three month mark.

[Andy Tagle]

Which brings us to our last factor and the tick, tock, tick, tock of that pesky biological clock.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

A lot of people think of turning 35 like being Cinderella at the ball and it's like, poof, now you know, your carriage turns into a pumpkin and that's just not what it is.

[Andy Tagle]

Why age 35 matters, according to Lucky, is that it's considered a turning point. So if you were to map out on a chart the health of your egg cells through your lifespan, age 35 is when you start to see a downward slope. And what's happening is the proteins that keep the chromosomes in your egg cells lined up correctly slowly break down with age.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

But I want to say that nobody has perfect eggs. And Even in our 20s, 20 to 25% of embryos will have missing or extra DNA. And that increases to about maybe a third of them.

[Andy Tagle]

At 35 by 37 or 38, your odds are more like a coin flip. 50 50.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

Now at 40, this is where the coin flip, it's like a weighted coin and it's flipping in the negative direction.

[Andy Tagle]

At this point, the split is 70 30, meaning up to 70% of the time, an egg cell will have missing or extra DNA. So it's going to be harder to have a viable pregnancy naturally. The other age component you might have heard about is the number of eggs you have available. Egg count is always decreasing and it tends to decrease more rapidly around 35. And by the way, sperm ages too a little differently. But motility can start to decrease after 30, for example. And this is likely an important consideration if you're planning on assisted reproduction of some kind egg or embryo freezing or IVF where egg harvesting is necessary.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

Because the more eggs I have to work with, the better the chance of getting what I need out of a given treatment cycle.

[Andy Tagle]

We actually have a whole episode on egg freezing that can give you a lot more on that process. If you're interested, and if you just want to arm yourself with as much information as humanly possible, there is one thing you can test that can provide some insight on the state of your egg reserve. It's called AMH or anti malarian hormone. It's a hormone produced by the small developing egg follicles in your ovaries. But if you do get it tested,

[Sarah Oreck]

be careful with some of those numbers because it's a full clinical picture that's really important.

[Andy Tagle]

Sarah says it can be tempting to put all your eggs in one basket, so to speak, to think of say, egg or even embryo freezing as an insurance policy or maybe a low egg reserve as a sign that you have no chance of conceiving.

[Sarah Oreck]

But you can't just use one outcome or one data point to kind of influence your all of your decision making.

[Andy Tagle]

Sarah took the test and found she had low amh, for example. Those test results helped her and her partner make the calculation to start trying sooner rather than later.

[Sarah Oreck]

If I didn't have a partner, for example, maybe I would have frozen my eggs and that would have made sense to me and felt like, okay, this is right.

[Andy Tagle]

Lucky had her first child the traditional way, then decided to freeze embryos at age 34. When she struggled to get pregnant again in her late 30s, she used those embryos to have her second child. Which is all just to say there's no one size fits all here. And unfortunately no magic calculator to tell you the perfect time to start trying. But hopefully you now have a starting point or two for making this decision yourself. So you've tracked your cycle, you've cultivated your ideal baby making environment, you've figured out exactly when you want to start trying. What's left on the checklist? Well, nothing to it, but to do it. Takeaway 6. Don't beat around the baby making bush. Before we leave you to go forth and multiply, a few last tips for some successful sexy time. First up, don't do what I just did and lead with innuendo. Be direct about the change to your sex life. That doesn't mean it has to be a choreography.

[Sarah Oreck]

Just setting expectations can be so important. I think we should, you know, have sex during these days of my ovulation window. Maybe we can plan some dates now.

[Andy Tagle]

How often should you be trying? Every day of the month, first thing in the morning under the light of the full moon. Lucky says your most fertile window is the five days leading up to ovulation and the day of ovulation itself. So you could have sex every day of the month.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

But rather than burning yourself out, unless, I mean, there are obviously some people out there that like, this is what they would be doing anyway. I don't know those people.

[Andy Tagle]

So your best bet, sex on a daily basis the five days leading up to and including the day of ovulation. Another thing you might have heard is that you should save up all those swimmers until that window, you know, hold out so that your sperm is extra strong. Nope.

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

If you are abstinent for too long, over a week, you can actually build up dead old sperm cells. They need to get out, right? And so we actually recommend that they ejaculate at least within a week.

[Andy Tagle]

That simple schedule should put you in a good position to make a baby. And hey, now that we're on the topic, doc, is there a best baby making position? Like before, during, after?

[Dr. Lucky Cecahn]

There are no sexual positions that are more effective at helping you get pregnant than others. You don't have to have an orgasm. You do not need bed rest. You don't need to be in a certain position.

[Andy Tagle]

So that covers the mechanics. A final tip, if you dare try to enjoy the process together.

[Sarah Oreck]

I think it's also a nice time to reevaluate. And people I don't think do this enough of like, what turns you on is that, you know, intimacy, meaning, you know, chores done at home, does that mean a date? You know, really assessing that for yourselves and being able to come together and how can we make this still meet some of the criteria even though there's some goal directed aspect.

[Andy Tagle]

Okay team, let's recap. Takeaway 1. Human reproduction is inefficient and some of it just comes down to luck. Takeaway 2. To track your period, you'll need to get off of hormonal birth control. Brace yourself. Takeaway 3 Get to know your cycle. It's important information whether or not you're ready to start trying. Fertility is 50 50. Both sides can make lifestyle choices to boost your odds. There's no way to fully test female fertility, but factors like age, timing and genetics can guide you to an educated decision about when to start trying. And finally, takeaway six Trying to make a baby is probably going to change your sex life. Why not have some fun along the way?

[Marielle Segarra]

That was Life Kit reporter Andy Taegel. Before we go, would you take a moment to rate and review us? Tell us a favorite tip that you learned or tell us what kind of episodes you like best. We love hearing from you, and when you leave a review, it helps the show grow. This episode of Life Kit was produced by Sylvie Douglas. Our digital editor is Malika Garib, and our visuals editor is CJ Ricolan. Meghan Cain is our senior supervising editor and Lauren Gonzalez is our executive producer. Our production team also includes Claire Marie Schneider and Margaret Serino. Engineering support comes from Sina Lofredo. Fact Checking by Tyler Jones Special thanks to Maria Goodman. I'm Marielle Segarra. Thanks for listening.

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