
Hosted by Kristin Messegee · EN

We've spent the last several episodes talking about the shadow. The parts of ourselves we don't see. The parts we reject. The parts we push away. But what about the opposite? What lives in the light? In this episode, I explore the traits and identities that many Sixes willingly claim as part of who they are: ✨ loyal ✨ responsible ✨ prepared ✨ helpful ✨ truthful ✨ reliable ✨ the questioner ✨ the protector These are real strengths. But they're not the whole story. Because when these qualities become identities instead of abilities, they can become rigid, exhausting, and limiting. In this episode, we explore: Why Sixes often build identity around usefulness and reliability The difference between who you are and what you're good at How loyalty, responsibility, and vigilance can become self-concepts Why "the questioner" isn't the same as inner authority The hidden cost of defining yourself by what you do for others What it means to soften your identity and become more whole This isn't about giving up your strengths. It's about holding them lightly. A question to take with you: Who would I be if I stopped defining myself by what I do for others? Helpful Links: Sign up for my FREE Series on Confidence or Self Loyalty email series! You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching

In this final episode of the shadow work series, we get very specific about what may actually live in the shadow of Type Six. And yes… some of it may sting. Because shadow work is not about finding “bad” things about yourself. It’s about discovering the parts of yourself you pushed away in order to feel safe, accepted, supported, or secure. In this episode, we explore: Why Sixes struggle so deeply with uncertainty The hidden relationship many Sixes have with aggression and anger Why personal authority and self-trust often live in the shadow The discomfort around power, control, neediness, and vulnerability How self-prioritization can feel “dangerous” to Sixes Why certainty-seeking creates unconscious behavior patterns And how curiosity + self-acceptance create real integration This work isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about becoming more whole. Because the parts of ourselves we refuse to see… often end up running the show. A question to take with you: What part of myself still feels too dangerous to fully own? Helpful Links: Sign up for my FREE Series on Confidence or Self Loyalty email series! You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching

Sixes often believe: “If there’s something wrong with me… I need to fix it immediately.” But what if that approach is actually keeping you stuck? In this episode, I continue our conversation around shadow work and why this kind of inner work can feel especially threatening for Sixes. Because for Sixes, seeing parts of ourselves we haven’t acknowledged can feel dangerous. Not just uncomfortable. Dangerous. We explore: why Sixes resist seeing what’s unconscious the fear of “not seeing everything” how we turn ourselves into threats to manage why self-fixing becomes a survival strategy and the transformative shift from self-rejection → self-acceptance This episode is ultimately about learning how to create an internal environment where: - your whole self is allowed to exist - fear can be acknowledged without shame - and you stop living in battle with yourself Because healing isn’t: “becoming perfect.” It’s becoming more whole. A question to take with you: What part of myself do I still believe makes me unsafe to love? Helpful Links: Sign up for my FREE Series on Confidence or Self Loyalty email series! You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching

In this episode, we explore shadow work through the lens of the Enneagram — specifically what it means for Sixes. I talk about: what the “shadow” actually is why we disown certain qualities, emotions, and reactions how fear and anger often get split apart in Sixes projection, defensiveness, and unconscious patterns and how the Enneagram helps reveal the parts of ourselves we don’t want to see But this episode is not about “fixing” yourself. It’s about learning how to: notice your patterns bring unconscious reactions into awareness and hold yourself with enough tenderness to actually integrate what you find Because the things we push away don’t disappear. They just operate from the shadows. In this episode, we explore: The difference between conscious vs unconscious fear and anger in Sixes Why the qualities we judge in others often point back to ourselves How projection works in real time The danger of making shadow work another way to attack yourself Why tenderness and curiosity are essential to real transformation A question to take with you: What part of myself feels too dangerous to fully acknowledge? Helpful Links: Sign up for my FREE Series on Confidence or Self Loyalty email series! You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching

This episode is a behind-the-scenes look at season one of Inside Story what I actually learned from that experience. It might not be what you think. The huge fear so many Sixes carry: if people think ___ about me, then ___. I walk through how to actually finish that sentence, ask resourcing questions, and stop leaving yourself hanging in the worst-case story. The difference between insight (seeing yourself from a distance, which feels kind of good) and self-awareness (catching yourself in real time and going huh). Why the second one is what this work is actually about. The courage required of a Six: not more vigilance, but the willingness to look inside and trust that you have more than you think you do, that you're more supported than you realize, and that you don't have to know everything you think you're supposed to know. Helpful Links: Sign up for my FREE Series on Confidence or Self Loyalty email series! You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching

Ep. 166 — The Missing Piece In this episode, I unpack a Type Six Enneathought from the Enneagram Institute and what it really means to go to type 3 and borrow the inner-directedness and self-respect that finally dissolves the chronic insecurity and lack of faith in ourselves. It's not about becoming someone else. It's about balancing the scales — bringing ourselves back to: our own authority the rules we've made up without realizing it and the way we treat ourselves when no one is watching In this episode, we explore: What it actually means to be inner-directed — and how Sixes outsource authority without noticing The made-up rules we follow like law (and the Facebook group story that helped me catch one of mine) Why "supposed to" is often just a preference in costume Self-respect as balance, not bravado — what high self-respect actually looks like day to day The "Blamey Shameys" — owning mistakes without falling into self-loathing or finger-pointing Why asking for help is the vulnerable, self-respecting move… not the weak one The crucial difference between self-respect and defensiveness A real-time example of working through fear before my husband left for the weekend — and what it made possible A question to take with you: Where am I outsourcing my own authority right now — and what would it look like to take it back? Helpful Links: Sign up for my FREE Series on Confidence or Self Loyalty email series! You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching
Sixes don’t just experience stress. We experience stress… and then stress about how we handled it. In this episode, I break down a simple but powerful way to understand stress — and more importantly, what to do about it. Because stress doesn’t end when the situation resolves. Your body still holds the activation. Your mind still wants to analyze it. And how you respond in that moment matters. In this episode, we explore: The two parts of stress (what happens + what happens after) Why Sixes often judge themselves after stressful moments The importance of telling yourself a kind, true story What an “incomplete stress response” is Simple ways to help your body process and release stress How building this skill increases self-trust over time This isn’t about avoiding stress. It’s about learning how to move through it — and come back to yourself afterward. A question to take with you: How am I treating myself after stress? Helpful Links: Sign up for my FREE Series on Confidence or Self Loyalty email series! You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching
Sixes don’t struggle because life changes. We struggle because we don’t want it to. Transitions are happening all the time — big ones, small ones, chosen ones, and the ones we never asked for. But for Sixes, change often feels like a threat. Not because we can’t handle it… but because we don’t trust ourselves to. In this episode, I explore why transitions feel so difficult for Sixes and what’s actually happening beneath the resistance. Because the real issue isn’t the change itself. It’s our relationship to: uncertainty responsibility and the fear of having to decide for ourselves In this episode, we explore: Why Sixes resist transitions (even the ones we want) The difference between wanting change and accepting it How discomfort gets misinterpreted as something “wrong” Why we avoid confronting what’s actually ours to do The role of fear, self-trust, and internal authority in moving forward What it means to build capacity instead of waiting to feel ready This episode is an invitation to stop waiting for life to feel safe… …and start building the ability to meet it as it is. A question to take with you: What transition am I resisting right now? Helpful Links: Sign up for my FREE Series on Confidence or Self Loyalty email series! You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching
Sixes don’t just feel emotions. We manage them. We analyze them. We prepare for them. We try to contain them. And often… we try not to feel them at all. In this episode, I walk through some of the most common emotional patterns I see in Sixes — patterns that keep us disconnected from our actual experience and stuck in loops of fear, control, and overthinking. Because the truth is: It’s not the emotions themselves that create the problem. It’s how we relate to them. In this episode, we explore: Why Sixes interpret emotions as danger signals The belief that “I can’t handle this feeling” How we try to manage emotions through thinking and control Why intellectualizing emotions keeps them stuck How projection shows up (and why it makes the world feel scarier) What it actually means to be with your emotions instead of managing them This work is foundational. Because living uninhibited doesn’t mean getting rid of your emotions. It means being able to feel them… without being run by them. A question to take with you: What do I believe will happen if I actually feel this emotion? Helpful Links: Sign up for my FREE Series on Confidence or Self Loyalty email series! You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching
Sixes don’t need more thinking. We need a different relationship to our thinking. In this follow-up to last week’s episode, I take metacognition — thinking about thinking — and make it practical. Because this isn’t just a concept. This is a daily, moment-by-moment skill that changes how you experience your life. In this episode, I walk through real examples of what reactive metacognition looks like (the spirals, the overthinking, the “what ifs”) and what it looks like to shift into something more intentional. We explore: Why your first thought isn’t your choice — but your second one is What reactive metacognition looks like in everyday situations How your brain fills in gaps with fear-based stories The power of simply noticing your patterns in real time Why awareness creates choice (even if nothing else changes yet) How this work reconnects you to your inner authority This isn’t about stopping your thoughts. It’s about learning to see them clearly enough to not be run by them. A question to take with you: What am I making this mean right now? Helpful Links: Sign up for my FREE Series on Confidence or Self Loyalty email series! You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching