Podcast
Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler
Hosted by Richard Ostler · EN
Welcome to our podcast!
My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
I am the author of three books:
“Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)
“Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)
“Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)
The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.
Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️
I am the author of two Ensign articles:
‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin
‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.
This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.
Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts
Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.
With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤
Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
Substack: https://substack.com/@papaostler
E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com
72episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Episode 912: Kim B. Puzey, Ministering to the One
Jul 801:27:37Tap to summarizeMy friend and mentor Kim Puzey (age 75) lives in Oregon, joins us to share his story: * Growing up in a blue-color world * Dad dying at age 12 * Friends dying at age 17 * Surprise decision to serve an LDS mission * 50 years of Church service—but a feeling that he worshipped the Church and callings * Less active, “steeple chaser” looking for the beauty in all faiths * Stroke—going from age 45 to age 75 In some of the most moving segments of any podcast, Kim shares powerful stories of ministering to “the one” including: * Why Walmart is sacred to me * The Chicago L * Importance of names * Waitresses are angels * Workers in the fields I was so moved listening to Kim’s discipleship focused on “the one” with powerful stories of making a difference in people’s lives—the core of our discipleship at followers of Jesus. Thank you Kim of being on the podcast. Thank you for your example to me over these many years. You are a good man. Honored to have you on the podcast. Links : Kim on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.b.puzey
Transcribe →Episode 911: Bob Rees, Re-Release of Episode 385
Jul 501:14:04Tap to summarizeThis episode is a re-release of Episode 385 with Bob Rees (orginally released in 2019). See Episode 913 for his newest episode. Episode 385: Dr. Bob Rees, Educator, Writer, Disciple, LGBTQ Ally My friend Bob Rees joins us to share principles and insights to bring our families and congregations together. Bob, who holds a PhD and is the Visiting Professor and Director of Mormon Studies at Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley (see his Wikipedia page for more info en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_A._Rees), was a Bishop in a Los Angeles singles ward from 1986-1992 and created a safe place for LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Bob has been an LGBTQ ally for four decades with a “long-view” perspective that his helpful, hopeful, and insightful for other Latter-day Saints. Bob is co-author of the “Family Acceptance Project “(article #7 at www.listenlearnandlove.org/articles) an important document to keep Latter-day Saint families with LGBTQ children united, together and strong. Bob shares deeply moving stories of his work with his LGBTQ friends and asks this question when confronted with a situation “what is the most loving thing I can do”?. Bob also talks about Matthew 25 and the doctrine behind this chapter to reach out and love everyone. I encourage everyone to listen to Bob’s podcast—you will be moved and have more principals to help and support others—and better love like our Savior. Thank you Bob for being on the podcast and your six decades of service to bring others to Christ, feel His love, and bring us together as the same human family.
Transcribe →Episode 910: Eric Chaffey, Mid-50’s, Gay Latter-day Saint, Super Brave
Jul 301:01:36Tap to summarizeMy friend Eric Chaffey (talented organist and director, grew up in Oregon/Northern California, lives in Salt Lake City) joins us to share some of this story including: Realizing his was gay during his teenage years (in the 80s). Incredible supportive dad Being a sexual assault survivor While at the MTC, telling Priesthood Leadership about being sexually assaulted which ended his mission (medical release) and put him in conversion therapy (super painful part of his story) Conversion therapy counselor shifted from conversation therapy to helping his heal from sexual abuse While active in the Church, he is often frustrated and discourage about the lack of support for LGBTQ members Very helpful community in his local ward Eric takes us back into a time we the church and society believe being gay was a choose and when there was no/little support. It’s heartbreaking to hear these stories. Yet with all the headwind Eric has faced, he bravely moves forward with courage and grace. Thank you Eric for being on the podcast. You are good man. Your story will help others. Links: Eric’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/echaffey
Transcribe →Episode 909: Jake Ostler, Online Safety/Sextortion, Must Listen for Parents
Jun 3000:55:03Tap to summarizeOur son Jake Ostler (co-founder International Protection Alliance, master’s degree in social work, certificate in anti-human trafficking, LCSW, working with sexual violence survivors worldwide, expert speaker on this subject) joins us talk about online safety for youth/teenagers/young adults. In this episode (for parents/anyone with responsibility for younger people) Jake talks about: Creating a safe environment in the home with open discussion about online safety/sextortion, and other online threats kids face How the bad guys connect with youth, gain their trust—with the goal of extorting teens for money and nude images How the bad guys isolate the youth for repeated financial gain—often causing the victim to be hopeless and consider suicide Parents and law enforcements roles before and after sextortion occurs This is a powerful episode on a critically important subject. I encourage parents, local religious/civic leaders, and concerned citizens to get more educated on topic by listening to this episode and sharing it with others. You may help save a life. Thank you Jake for your much needed work in our world. Honored to have you on the podcast. Mom and I love you and are proud of you! Links: NCMEC Education for parents and teens: https://www.missingkids.org/theissues/sextortion NCMEC Take it Down: https://takeitdown.ncmec.org/ NCMEC “No Escape Room" Sextortion Experience: https://noescaperoom.org/ International Protection Alliance Web Site: protectall.org International Protection Alliance Venmo: @protect_all Jake’s email to request more information or invite a trainer: jacob@protectall.org International Protection Alliance Instagram: @intl.protect.all Facebook: www.facebook.com/ipa.protectall Jake’s Utah Clinical Practice: healingandhopeutah.com Jake’s LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jacob-ostler-492716116 Jake’s earlier episode (792): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-792-jacob-ostler-lcsw-therapist-founder-international/id1347971725?i=1000677732364
Transcribe →Episode 908: McArthur Krishna and Anne Pimentel join us to talk about their new book “Ask The Matriarchs: Honoring Women's Hard-earned Wrestle For Wisdom."
Jun 2801:04:08Tap to summarizeMy inspiring friends McArthur Kirishna and Anne Pimentel (authors, BYU grads, advocates for women and others on the margins) join us to talk about the new book (available on Substack—see show notes) which interviews Latter-day Saint women (some famous, some less so) across the world who have great wisdom to help all of us. Each chapter of the book is a post as part of The Women on the Stand Substack. Examples include: Ask the Matriarch: Golden Nuggets Ask the Matriarch: When Life is Hard Ask the Matriarch: Personal Revelation And many others. I believe we need to elevate the voices/vision/insights of women to improve our Church to better create Zion. I continue to learn so much from McArthur and Anne on what I can do to accomplish this goal. I encourage everyone to listen to the podcast and check out their Substack. Thank you McArthur and Anne. You two are awesome and give me hope. Links: Ask the Matriarch Substack: womenonthestand.substack.com/ Women Quotes: https://ldswomenproject.com/resources/statements/ www.reliefsocietywomen.com/blog/spiritual-strength/quotes/ www.instagram.com/quotesbychurchofjesuschristwom/ Chieko N. Okazaki October 1995 talk: www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1995/10/a-living-network “Changemakers: Women Who Boldly Built Zion” book at Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1560855185 Or, it's also available at Deseret Book www.deseretbook.com/product/6085124.html McArthur IG: @mcarthurkrishna_creates McArthur FB: www.facebook.com/mcarthur.mcarthurfreeranger Heavenly Mother Matters IG: @heavenlymothermatters Anne IG: @the.vision.beautiful Anne's IG and Podcast @andyetwebelieve (podcast by the same name)
Transcribe →Episode 907: Hunter Knott, Age 25, Gay Latter-day Saint, Super Insightful
Jun 2601:21:39Tap to summarizeMy friend Hunter Knott (UVU grad in computer science, RM) joins us to share his story growing up and starting to hear stuff about gay people (during his high school years), going on a mission (at the start of COVID, getting reassigned), and then after his mission starting to consider “he might not be straight”. Hunter talks about starting to come to terms with his sexual orientation in 2022 with a powerful journey entrée—the shock he felt—and the answer of comfort. Hunter talks about enrolling in the UVU LGBT Institute class and how helpful/spiritually uplifting it is to connect with other LGBTQ members walking this road. Hunter frames this class as the “restoration of His LGBTQ people”. Hunter talks about coming out to his parents (great experience) and his family—including his parents attending Gather. Hunter also talks about the parallels between black Latter-day Saints before 1978 and the current plight of LGBTQ members—super insightful. Hunter talks about dating women and not being able to make that work—and then dating men including his first kiss and involving his family in his dating. Hunter talks about his current steady boyfriend Will and the love/peace he is finding in his life and hopes for their future together—including feeling “called” to continue to attend church as a same-sex married couple. Thank you Hunter for being on the podcast. You are a bright, articulate, faithful, and brave man—walking a difficult road with integrity, courage, and conviction. You are a good man. You give me hope. I encourage everyone to listen/share Hunter’s podcast. Links: Facebook: facebook.com/hunter.knott.2025 Instagram: @hunter_p_knott/
Transcribe →Episode 906: Madison Daniels, New Book “Letters To A Young Ex-Mormon”
Jun 2301:15:18Tap to summarize** Note: This is not a book bashing the Church or a list of reasons to leave. This is a book to help those who have left the Church move forward in a thoughtful and intentional way—preserving relationships along the way—and honoring those who stay in the Church ** My friend Madison Daniels (early 30s, RM, no longer LDS, future therapist) joins us to share his new book, "Letters to a Young Ex-Mormon", to help those reconstruct a thoughtful, intentional life outside of the Church—and an invitation to bring the good of their faith tradition along the way. In doing this, Madison is not dismissing the pain and anger that many who leave the Church feel. Rather, he offers letters on familiar topics showing how to navigate a new world with healthy principles, perspective, healing, and good decision-making. Neither Madison nor I are inviting people to leave the Church—but leaving is a reality for some. If this is your reality or others who you love and want to support, I encourage you to read/share Madison’s book. You are a good man, Madison. Glad to have you on the podcast. I learned a lot from you. You work is needed in our community. Links: Madison’s book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GVGS28KP Instagram Acct: @mddanielsbooks
Transcribe →Episode 905: OsPaZu – Returning to Christ After More Than 20 Years
Jun 1801:22:22Tap to summarizeOsPaZu, a self-taught author from Chile, shares his powerful journey of faith, same-sex attraction, and returning to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints after more than 20 years away. In this moving conversation, OsPaZu talks about serving a mission in Argentina, struggling to find his place in the Church, and eventually stepping away for over two decades. Through difficult experiences, personal challenges, and moments of deep spiritual searching, he came to discover that Jesus Christ had never stopped loving him. Today, OsPaZu is an active member of the Church, serves as a Sunday School teacher, and openly shares his experience to help others feel less alone. He emphasizes that every person’s journey is different, but that those who experience same-sex attraction face real challenges and experiences, and that there is hope, belonging, and peace through Jesus Christ. OsPaZu also discusses his books, “Just As I Am, I Returned to Christ” (English) and “Tal Como Soy, Regresé a Cristo” (Spanish), heartfelt memoirs written from personal experience—not as perfect literary works, but as honest stories of faith, struggle, repentance, service, and hope. This is a powerful conversation about vulnerability, discipleship, and discovering that Christ never leaves us, even when we feel far from Him. Links: Book available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle e-book format Instagram: @OsPaZu Email: ospazu2026@outlook.com
Transcribe →Episode 904: Blake Muir, Gay Latter-day Saint, Powerful Story
Jun 1601:13:15Tap to summarizeMy friend Blake Muir (age 33, Utah State Grad, Utah State Employee) joins us to share his unique story in creative way—sharing lyrics of songs to frame individual chapters of his story—super powerful and deeply moving. Blake talks about realizing he might be gay in middle school—leading to everything he knew how to do to not be gay. The resulting shame and self-loathing leading to a suicide attempt in high school. Blake talks about finding some hope as the Church was moving to more understanding while preparing for his mission. Blake talks about his mission and then returning home and trying to date women. Blake talks about the complicated road working with Church leaders (some really helpful, some harmful) and ultimately concluding the Church was complicating his relationship with Heavenly Father and seeing his way forward. Blake—who hasn’t 100% closed the door on the Church—talks about learning to “allow God to love me as a queer man” and “didn’t want to lose his queerness”—something he sees as a divine attribute. Blake talks (and thanks) his supportive parents. Thank you Blake for being on the podcast. I was so moved by your story. You are a good man with a wonderful future. Respect. You story will help so many. I encourage everyone to listen/share this episode. It will help all of us better support queer people in our lives. Links: Blake’s Instagram: @muir_blake Blake’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/blakw.muir
Transcribe →Episode 903: Jeanette Griggs, New Book “Be True”
Jun 1400:56:13Tap to summarizeMy friend Jeanette Griggs (mid 40’s, engaged to her future wife, decades of faithful service) joins us to bravely share her story about her long road to understand and accept her sexual orientation. Jeanette writes about this in her new book named: “Be True: From Orthodoxy to Authenticity—The Journey Wasn’t Straight” Jeanette shares about growing up in Idaho where everyone was a Church member and anything said about gay/lesbian people was around the “addiction/heinous” worldview. Jeanette talks about getting new perspective in college but then turning to church teachings/talks/actions with more devotion than ever because of her deep-seated conclusion that she was broken. Jeanette talks about later learning this was religious scrupulosity—and that she is not broken. Jeanette talks about falling in love with a woman and how that relationship became a complicated decade of her life because of the Church Education System, the lack of space for LGBTQ members within the Church, and her efforts to reconcile her lifelong faith with reality. She talks about caring for that woman through a terminal illness and mourning her passing. Jeanette concludes with finding her fiancée and the joy, health of the relationship, and the peace she has in her life now. Jeanette’s book includes journal entries and letters to her younger self—super powerful—as she takes us into the complex/painful/difficult road she walked. Thank you Jeanette’s for writing this book and being on the podcast. You are a good soul. I invite everyone to read/share her book. Jeanette’s book at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GP1V9F8S Jeanett’s Facebook: jeanette.griggs.5 Jeanett’s Instagram @grigjean
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