Herman and the Red Tape: A Frustration Story for Kids

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Little Stories for Tiny People
Episode: Herman and the Red Tape: A Frustration Story for Kids
Host: Rhea Pechter
Date: November 3, 2019

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Overview

In this whimsical and relatable episode, Rhea Pechter tells the story of “Herman and the Red Tape,” blending clever humor and heartfelt messages for kids and families. The main theme centers around patience, frustration, and how to maintain inner calm when faced with unnecessary bureaucracy (or, as the woodland animals experience it, “red tape”). Alongside the story, Rhea playfully acknowledges a continuity mistake about Herman’s species, involving an amusing correspondence from her studio spiders.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Highlights

1. Rhea’s Honest Introduction

• 00:08 – 03:07
  • Rhea admits there’s no guest on the show, humorously blaming how difficult it is to “wrangle these guests.”
  • She addresses a studio spider’s email pointing out that Herman’s identity has changed from a chipmunk monk to a squirrel in different stories.
  • Rhea’s reaction is a mix of embarrassment and comic justification for her story continuity snafu:
    • “Squirrels, chipmunks. In the grand scheme of things, they’re pretty much the same. Right?” (Rhea, 02:56)

2. The Story: “Herman and the Red Tape”

• Beginning – Herman’s Project

  • 03:26 – 04:54
    • Herman, now a squirrel living in a tree, is working on an overhang for his door.
    • Neighbor Xavier (another squirrel with big red glasses) insists Herman needs company approval for additions.
    • Xavier’s warning:
      • “I'd hate to see them come take it down. You could even be slapped with a fine—one time they fined Katrina. 23 acorns.” (Xavier, 05:31)

• Herman vs. Bureaucracy

  • 05:53 – 07:28
    • Herman’s attempt to get “approval” through the company phone system is a hilarious, increasingly frustrating runaround.
    • He’s transferred repeatedly, asked for a nonexistent “acorn code,” and must recall his sister’s pet beetle’s veterinarian’s name.
    • “That’s all I need from you, Herman. Then we can proceed.” (Company squirrel, 07:23)

• Herman’s Dream & Resolution

  • 07:29 – 10:51
    • Over a day, Herman is consumed by the absurdity, even having a surreal dream of Xavier getting approval and taking his rain and rocking chair.
    • He practices deep breathing, meditation, and braces for another long call, preparing an absurd amount of paperwork.
    • “This is but a tiny speed bump. A moment that will pass.” (Narration, 09:20)

• The Final Call – Relief at Last

  • 10:54 – 13:21
    • After 16 minutes on hold, he finally reaches Shonda, who informs him he doesn’t need approval for such a small addition after all due to a recent regulation change:
      • “Section B, article 2 now indicates residents must obtain company approval for overhangs extending 8.655 inches or more.” (Shonda, 13:06)
    • Herman experiences a wave of gratitude for Shonda—a competent and caring helpdesk squirrel.
    • “Thank you, Shonda. You’re so welcome, Herman.” (Herman & Shonda, 13:17)

• Epilogue – Triumph and Lesson

  • 13:32 – 14:35
    • Herman celebrates and finishes his barely regulation-sized overhang—just in time for the rain.
    • “He placed it beneath his brand new little shelter just outside his door and he listened to the rain.” (Narration, 14:28)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Rhea’s Self-Reflection:

  • “I have failed you all. Herman has somehow morphed from a chipmunk into a squirrel.” (Rhea, 02:26)

• Xavier’s Red Tape Authority:

  • “You gotta call the company for approval. I’d hate to see them come take it down.” (Xavier, 05:09)

• Herman’s Frustration:

  • “All I need is the last name of your sister’s pet beetle’s veterinarian.” (Company Squirrel, 07:15)
  • “This is my life now. Herman, 1827... 1827.5.” (Herman, 13:16)

• Shonda the Savior:

  • “I’m so sorry to tell you, but you did not have to call us.” (Shonda, 13:11)

• Rhea’s Lesson and Wrap-Up:

  • “What have we learned today? We’ve learned I make lots of mistakes. Spiders write very pointed yet very accurate emails. And oh, and patience and gratitude and inner calm. All of these things can help you a lot in life.” (Rhea, 14:35)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:08: Rhea’s introduction & studio spider email
• 03:26: Story begins—Herman’s tree project
• 04:54: Introduction of red tape by Xavier
• 05:53: First comical phone call sequence
• 07:29: Herman’s frustration and dream
• 10:54: Second phone call—16 minutes on hold
• 13:06: Shonda reveals no approval is needed
• 14:28: Herman’s project complete, rain falls
• 14:35: Rhea’s reflective outro and episode message

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Conclusion

This episode is a humorous, gently satirical look at everyday frustrations kids and adults alike experience with rules and bureaucracy. The story is filled with character, patience, and self-understanding—a lesson wrapped in laughter and woodland charm. Rhea’s playful self-awareness and willingness to acknowledge mistakes, plus her memorable cast of animal helpers and hindrances, make this a delightful listen (or read) for all ages.

Transcript

[A]

This is Rhea. Welcome to Little Stories for Tiny People. Friends, I don't have a guest today. I know, I know. I'm really slacking, but it takes a lot of time to wrangle these guests. It's almost as if they're not actually interested in coming. Anyway, no guest, because I have to address something important. Our story today is about Herman, a character who has shown up in a few stories. But it has come to my attention that there is, well, a bit of an issue with Herman. As many of you may recall, I have several corners in my studio. Ceiling corners, to be exact. Many rooms have them. Although I suppose there are spherical rooms or burrows, of course, that by design, do not have ceiling corners at all. Anyway, yes, I am stalling because what I'm about to reveal is quite embarrassing, but I will forge on for you. In my ceiling corners, there happen to be spiders. And my studio spiders tend to be very observant. They do have a lot of eyes, and they have very strong opinions. And they also tend to have tiny laptops on which they type out emails to me with remarkable speed. Lots of hands, you know. A few weeks ago, I received one such email from one of the studio spiders. And this is what it said. Dear Rhea, I am taking issue with the fact that in Herman Says Goodbye. You made it pretty clear that Herman is a chipmunk monk. But then in Little Hedgehog Cleans Up, Herman comes along claiming he is a squirrel. And we know it is the same Herman because of the hammer thing. How is this possible? Respectfully, your studio spider friends. I'll admit my first reaction to this rather bristly email was disbelief. Ha. My attention to detail is superb. This cannot possibly be true. But after rereading my own stories, written by my own hand, I learned. Tis true. Spider is right. I have failed you all. Herman has somehow morphed from a chipmunk into a squirrel. Trouble is, I wrote today's story before receiving this spider's email, and I had already made Herman a squirrel. Again. Squirrels, chipmunks. In the grand scheme of things, they're pretty much the same. Right? And now, time for the story, Herman and the Red Tape. Take it away, Dash.

[B]

Remember, there are no pictures. You have to imagine in your mind. You can imagine them however you want. Okay, here we go.

[A]

Herman was outside his tree. It was a gorgeous day, and he was at work, sawing some wood for a new project. Even though he'd been at his new tree for quite a while, he was still settling in and making it his own. Once he saw the pieces he needed. He lined them up and made some marks where they should go, just above his tree opening. Herman felt a breeze drift over him, and he inhaled the forest air, full of hope and possibility.

[C]

Hey, Norman, right?

[A]

Herman turned to see his neighbor, a tall squirrel named Xavier, peering at his pile of wood. Xavier wore bright red spots that made his eyes look impossibly big. Actually, it's Herman, right?

[C]

That's right, Herman. Great. Xavier.

[A]

Yeah, I remember. Good to see you. Herman said, turning back to his project.

[C]

You mind if I measure that for you?

[A]

Pardon? But Xavier had already shuffled past him. He pulled a bright green tape measure from his coat pocket and was measuring Herman's tree markings and the wood he'd sawed. Herman watched him, wondering why this squirrel carried around a tape measure in his coat.

[C]

Uh, yeah, you're gonna need approval for that.

[A]

Xavier's spectacles began slipping down his nose, and he pushed them up with a paw. Approval?

[C]

Yep. You gotta call the company.

[A]

The company?

[C]

Yeah, the landlord's company. You'll probably need the Department of Tree Structures and Alterations.

[A]

Well, I'm just adding a little overhang above my door for when it rains. I love feeling the misty air on my fur. I just want to be able to sit in my little rocking chair.

[C]

Yeah, sounds nice. I know it's a pain, but you gotta call the company for approval. I'd hate to see them come take it down. You could even be slapped with a fine one time they find Katrina. 23 acorns.

[A]

Xavier's glasses slipped down again, and he quickly pushed them up. 23. My gosh. Okay. Xavier was already loping away.

[B]

Good luck.

[A]

He called over his tail. Herman went right inside to his phone. Just take care of this real quick and be done with it, he thought as he dialed the company number.

[D]

This call may be recorded for quality assurance purposes. Please refrain from eating acorns while the call is in session.

[C]

Name?

[A]

Oh, herman. Tree number 1287.5. I share a trunk with 1287. Purpose of call? Well, it's just a small matter, really. See, I love the rain, and I have this rocking chair, and I'm just looking to nudge it out my door when it rains. And I was told I need approval to add an overhang, but.

[D]

Hold, please.

[A]

Name? Herman. Tree number 1287.5.

[D]

I'll need to transfer you to Tree Structures.

[A]

Oh, okay. Thanks. Yellow, this is Robbie. Name, please. Herman. Tree number 1287.5. Purpose of call is I was told I need approval to add an addition to my. All right, buddy, I'm Gonna have to transfer you to alterations and additions. Okay.

[D]

Help, please.

[A]

Hello, this is Mandy. How are you today? Uh, fine. Can I get your name, please? Herman. Tree number 12.87.5. The purpose of my call is actually. First, I'll need your acorn code. My acorn code? It's for security. I don't know my acorn code. Alright, Herman. I can ask you a security question in order to access your account. Account? No, no. I just need approval for an overhang. No worries. All I need is the last name of your sister's name. Pet beetle's veterinarian. Huh? Herman thought of his sister's pet beetle. Hansel. He remembered Hansel had the flu a couple years back. He did not remember Hansel's veterinarian. That's all I need from you, Herman. Then we can proceed. Herman sighed and lowered the phone. Herman. Herman. Herman checked his watch. Ten minutes down the drain. He seethed for an entire day. He grumbled as he went about his work. He stomped his little feet and pouted. That night, Herman had a strange dream. In the dream, it was raining. Herman was inside his house, looking longingly out the door. Suddenly, his neighbor Xavier appeared. Except it wasn't really Xavier, because this Xavier was short and had blue glasses and a British accent. This dream. Xavier was hammering something above Herman's door. An overhang. And he pulled Herman's rocking chair outside and set it beneath the new little shelter and sat down. But that's my rocking chair. That's my mist. That's my rain, Herman said. But I got the approval. British, Xavier said. His blue glasses fell down his nose and he pushed them up. Then he started to laugh. Herman woke with a start, damp with sweat. He realized he had to do something. He wanted his dream to come true. And that meant enduring another round of hold music. Herman quickly took up meditation and learned deep breathing techniques. This is all a great test, he thought to himself. In the great sloping arc of my life, this is but a tiny speed bump. A moment that will pass. That is passing already just now. I can withstand it for a moment, can't I? When so much is waiting for me? Under that little overhang? Herman gathered his documents. Enough to prove his own identity three times over. He stared up into the blue yonder. He picked up the phone. What followed were the longest 16 minutes of his life.

[D]

This call may be recorded for quality assurance purposes.

[A]

1, 8, 2 7.

[D]

Please refrain from eating acorns.

[A]

Tree number 1827.6. I mean 0.5.

[D]

Call, please.

[A]

E R, M as in Maple tree. A N as in never. This will never stop.

[D]

Hold, please. I'm sorry. All call center squirrels are currently adding.

[A]

An addition to my.

[D]

Hold, please. I'm sorry. All call center squirrels are currently eating acorns. Hold, please.

[A]

But it was just 16 minutes. Just a moment in the great expanse of his squirrelish life. And at the end of those 16 minutes, Herman reached Shonda. The squirrel before her had ended their time together with the most declarative statement he'd heard up till then. You want Shonda for this. That's who you want. And as Herman waited for Shonda to pick up, he imagined he was a weightless little chickadee soaring into the great blue without a care in the world. Shonda interrupted his thoughts. Herman. Tree number 18.27.5. Herman was momentarily speechless. Uh, yes. How did you. Came right up on my little thingamajig. Uh huh. I understand you want to add an addition above your entry location. Yes. And the overhang will be 8.5 inches. That's correct. Herman held his breath. Herman, I'm so sorry to tell you this, but. No. Herman blurted. He felt all of his careful calm evaporate. Nope. No. Please. I've been on the phone for 16 minutes. But we're in some kind of a time warp. It's really been 16 hours. Don't you see? We're trapped. This is my life now. Herman imagined himself waking up every day and going directly to the phone. Herman. 1827. Herman, 1 827-182. 7.5.

[D]

This call may be recorded for quality assurance. This call may be recorded for quality assurance. All squirrels are currently climbing trees. All squirrels are currently climbing trees and laughing at Herman.

[A]

Herman. Excuse me. Herman. Yes? Herman snapped out of his daydream. Herman, what I was saying was. I'm so sorry to tell you, but you did not have to call us. I didn't? For an 8.5 inch overhang? You don't need approval for that. I don't? Herman thought back to Xavier, with his big eyes and his red spectacles and his air of authority. The company changed the regulations last month. Section B, article 2 now indicates residents must obtain company approval for overhangs extending 8.655 inches or more. I don't need approval. Nope. You can go on your way and add that addition of yours. Herman felt a cascade of questions rise into his mouth. He swallowed them down and allowed gratitude for Shonda to take hold. Shonda, who actually cared. Shonda, who knew her regulations. Thank you, Shonda. You're so welcome, Herman. Now if you have a minute, please stay on the line to complete a brief survey. I have no more time, Shonda. Bye. Herman hung up the phone and glanced at his watch. 20 minutes. This mess had taken 20 minutes from him again. He wouldn't give it anymore. Herman went straight to work on his project. He even decided to extend it 8.64 inches, just under regulation. Later, it started to rain. Herman felt the first drops as he was sweeping off his branch. He put away his broom and pulled out his rocking chair. He placed it beneath his brand new little shelter just outside his door and he listened to the rain. Okay, so I'm looking up into the corners of my studio and oh, there she is. This spider who wrote me that email. She's looking at me very skeptically. Look, I had to keep him as a squirrel in this story. I know it doesn't make any sense, but okay. Chipmunks actually live in burrows in the ground. So if I had magically changed Herman back into a chipmunk for this story, I. I would have had to change the entire story because he could no longer be living in a tree and therefore he couldn't have an overhang above his front door. Just logically, mathematically, that wouldn't have worked. She doesn't look convinced. Well friends, what have we learned today? We've learned I make lots of mistakes. Spiders write very pointed yet very accurate emails. And oh, and patience and gratitude and inner calm. All of these things can help you a lot in life. You know from the story, the thing we are all actually here for. I hope you enjoyed it. Little Stories for Tiny People is written, performed and produced by by me. Rhea Pector, my in house Tech director. Peter K. Runs my website and puts my stories on the Internet for all of you to enjoy. Special thanks to the listeners who provided the enchanting sound effects used in today's story. Thank you to Vita, Cora and Charlotte. Big thanks to Dash for providing this super important intro message at the beginning. And thank you to Ivy the spider for paying close attention and for keeping me honest. I am very grateful to have loyal listeners like you who will call it as they see it. And thank you all as always for listening in.