It’s a pirate’s life for us this week as we take our dumb criminal mischief to the seven seas.

Trevin’s dreadful dilemma starts with his attempt to defend grape-flavored candy, only to realize that his entire perspective on fruit flavors might be completely off. Meanwhile, Amanda witnesses a first-grade music show gone wrong, where a tiny performer risks getting slapped off the risers by a much larger child standing beside her.

For this week’s segment, we present our first “Would You Rather” of 2025. Trevin poses the impossible question: would you rather turn your life into a daily parenting blog or start every NFL season by singing the national anthem with an item up your butt? Amanda brings a moral dilemma from Papa Dennis, asking if it’s worse to help a guilty person go free or to punish an innocent person.

For storytime, Trevin takes us aboard the Jamie Marie fishing boat, captained by 42-year-old Joshua Stedman. What starts as a bizarre maritime mission leaves us wondering—will he ever reach the mysterious Chinese mothership, or will he be doomed to remain stuck in the harbor? Amanda introduces us to the legend of Sandy Snakenberg, an ex-pro skateboarder turned Bubble Pirate whose mission is to spread joy, chaos, and bubbles to the children. But is he really a hero, or just another seafaring menace?

From fruit flavor betrayals and elementary school disasters to nautical nonsense and unconventional piracy, this episode proves that petty adventure is always just over the horizon.

Today’s Stories:

An Adventure on the High Seas

The Life and Times of the Bubble Pirate

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EP 197: Dude, Pirate Vibes