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Gabby Windy
The following podcast is a Dear Media production and welcome back to another episode of Long Winded. Okay, what's new? And we're back. We're back. What's new? Nothing. And that's what they say. No news is good news. And that's what they say. It'll all come out in the wash. And that's what they say when you give a mouse a fucking cookie. And that's just what they say. So we're back and lots to discuss. So I'll get right into it. I'm taking an acting class. She's gonna be an actress. It's not me, it's Mrs. Iglesias. Yes, I'm half Mexican. Yes, submit me for all the rules. No, I cannot speak Spanish. My mom did not one thing right, including teaching me espanyl. She just couldn't do. She had to keep it for herself. No, you can't have none of that. No, you can't have a skill that'll put you above and beyond the gen pop that'll put you first for any kind of selection. I'm going to keep that from you. So I had my, I had my meeting with my acting teacher who's absolutely in fucking sane, just like you would expect. I show up, I sit down, we're meeting each other. She has what's called a tuna can behind her. Come to find out it's not tuna, but a 13 year old Chihuahua of sorts. Googly eyed glaucoma almost falling out of its head. Oh, are you here to meet tuna? Oh, are you here to get tuna? Oh, a tuna cans calling. In comes the guy with a limp, just pulled a hamstring. His biceps are popping out of his muscle tease. I'm concerned for his veins because they look dilated, like they cannot control all of the testosterone flowing through. And the 85 grams of protein he just had for a mid evening snack. Bends over to grab tuna. His leg doesn't move. Anyways, now that I've set the scene, Nardo, he likes to eat. Nardo. Hey, he likes to chew holes in this rug. And don't they all like to chew holes in your rug? Anyways, I show up, we finally she gives me a script to study and prepare via email. I'm communicating with an assistant. I have this problem recently where I'm reading things too fast. I'm not really getting into the meat. I print out the whole script, I study it, take it to the spa, mark it up, really try and get into character. I know what I'm doing here. I'm not going to need any more lessons. I led with. I just have to tell you, I'm a Capricorn. I come overly prepared. I really do my homework. I pull out the script, all highlighted. Did you prepare scene to. What? You mean the beginning? Oh, it was instructed to you to prepare scene two. Sure, sure. I know how to play this game. I'm walking into a room where there's a power dynamic. You are the teacher, I am the student. Sure, I'll swallow my pride. I know you're wrong. I know. There was no way there was any differentiation. Any instructions on the hyperlinked line Jenny script. I'm a Capricorn. I come over prepared. I say, turns out I prepared the wrong thing. She was right the whole time. I went back and looked. There's no way she just said scene to. And in fact, she did. She knows exactly what she's talking about. So I'm coming in with an L. I'm coming in with an L right on my forehead. After I told her I'm the type of person to over prepare. Ding. She's got a ding. Me. A demerit system. That's what we lived by. My mom would be like, that's a ding. Two dings. And I'm getting the belt. The braided kind. I wish I was kidding. Anyways, so we get into it and you're a natural of sorts. She says she's gonna be a star. It went straight to my head. I could barely take it. And she thinks I'm cute. My head cannot fit in the room. You're a natural in some ways and quite an unnatural in others. Drops the bomb. I don't know who I am anymore. What do you mean unnatural? I can learn anything. I can put my mind to anything. I swear, I'm doing this right and we're talking a million miles a minute. I'm coming in at a deficit. I didn't know what to prepare for. Lack of communication because I didn't read everything thoroughly. I didn't take a beat. I didn't take a second unnatural. She doesn't like my vocal phrase. She doesn't like the way I said yo. She's. She's like, yeah, where's your accent from? Where'd you grow up, the Midwest? She said, why do you say your use, yo? So you're saying you're used yo. Why are you saying your use like yo? I didn't know I was saying my use like that. And then I kept doing it. It was like a compulsion. I couldn't stop. You You. How about you over there? Now I have to change you. You, I said. Actually, I'm quite known for my vocal fry. She said, save it for the podcast. Not around here you're not. Yo, you. You. How are you? That's how I do it, yo. But she said yo, like okay, fuck. Now I have to start in the pre beginner course. I'm looking at two months of coursework, four hours each, twice a week. Who has time for that when I'm when, when I'm highly depressed and must be bedridden for 60% of the week in order to have any energy for what's to come? That's including feeding myself. That's including feeding the dog. That's. That's including scrolling social media for hours. That's including preparing each week for a dissertation on topics you don't give a about. Welcome to Long Winded Yo. Anyways, that's how we begin. And then I'll move in to all of the ways in which men have gotten under my skin, likely lately and lakely in which all the ways men have gotten under my skin like a terrorizing tick burrowing its disgusting disease ridden head on its way to give me limes. That's how I feel about men recently because of various circumstances, instances that I've been privy to which I am here to tell you about. On your long drive to work, on your morning commute, on your evening commute, hopefully on the tv. I'm trying to get on your terms. I want to be a YouTube star. Please like and subscribe and leave me five stars. I'll start. I'll start with this in order in order to become in order to show up to my first acting class and blow her out of the water. I was prep after therapy. I was reading the script over a meal of sugarfish over where I do the best thinking over a salmon nigiri $35 lunch special. My favorite place to be. Yes, I'll take. Yes I'll take an ice cream tea and yes, I'm going to snort it. Yeah, I'm going to put it right up my butt so I can be firing on all fours when it comes to Jenny. That's the character I was playing I thought was made for me, but apparently it wasn't. Yo, there's a couple right next to me. Fuck. Now I have no choice but to put the script away and eavesdrop and hang on to every word so I can report the news to you all in real time. Here's a couple sitting next to me at the Bar. Big A big old uggo. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He earned it. Receding hairline and all. Pot belly. Chiclets for veneers. I need to memorize this man's face in case I need to recognize him in a lineup for all of his crimes that he will be committing. Undoubtedly. And I know this because I watched him for 35 straight minutes. Maybe he had some kind of an adrenal insufficiency. I don't know. It was. It was giving, like, hypothyroidism in the face. Of course, it can be treated with a dose of Synthroid, but I'm sure he doesn't go to his PCB quite often enough. He's. He's on. He's on the homeopathic regimen. He doesn't believe in Western medicine and he doesn't believe in. And Westernization of women. Let me get into it. His girlfriend, I'm, I'm. I'm assuming is. Is his girlfriend also. They probably have not made it official. I hope to God for her sake they haven't. She is gorgeous. She has her eyelashes done. She has a cute hat on. She has a bubbly personality, and she's eating it up. She's under the man's thumb. She's gotta get out of there. But she's young, so there's still time. She's playing along with the terrible humor that is this man. And I will say, most straight men, I don't. I don't come into contact with straight men often. And this is what happens when I do. He thought he was being funny. He thought he was making a joke. Oh, the music was so good. They should win an Emmy just for the music. It's so good. It's giving me a boner. What? This is what they do. They think that there's. They think that there's no other metaphor. They think that there's no other joke. They think that there's no other conversation starter than. Than their micro dick, which is vasodilating, not growing. It's maybe growing by a couple centimeters because of the music he heard. What? What? This is all that you have to say, actually. You're doing the music that you love and you think should is award winning. You're comparing it to your teeny, tiny little dick. I, I put some respect on this music's name. It's not funny. She lets out a giggle. I'm like, ugh, I've been there. You don't have to laugh at these things anymore. You don't have to do it anymore. No, we're getting our power back. You don't deserve a boner. Boner, boner. And that's something. It's like if we talk about. If we talk about our vaginas like that, everybody. Everybody laughs. And not. I'm in. I'm not. In a way that makes you want to be in on it in a way that's laughing at you. Well, have I got news for you. There's this new thing called pussy power. Anyways, he goes, okay, that was one tasteless joke. All right. Okay, so I'm tuned in. All right? Now I have some entertainment. Okay. I'm paying attention. And then he goes on to say, I don't know if. I don't know if he was trying to make conversation. I don't know if he was trying to connect with her. I have actually no clue what he was doing. And then he goes, oh, yeah, did you him? The room falls silent. The room being the three of us. They don't know that I'm a third. Listening into the conversation. She's like, what? Or oh. And then he goes, oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, maybe he just put it in. What kind of conversation? What? Why are you asking your girlfriend, or soon to be girlfriend, who she's. And if they put it in all the way, this is the only thing that you had to talk about. This is your charisma trying to woo your hot young girlfriend. No, no. You're getting on my nerves, and I want to squeeze you until your head pops off like the dirty little tick you are. Exhibit A. That's just one way they really got under my skin. And then the next one I'll let you know is Maroon 5. I forget where I was. I was somewhere, maybe waiting for a vitamin shot, and this gorgeous song comes out, and you will be like. And then I start listening to it, and I start listening to it, and I'm like, Adam Levine, are you predatory? Obviously, we knew that he cheated on his wife with some, like, I don't know, 126 girls or something. Obviously. But you had to hide it in a beautiful ballad View. Even then, I was thinking about the lyrics. And she will. Beauty Queen of only 18. What? You're a pervert. She's sobbing, crying in your arms, and you're making her believe that you're the only one that can save her. No. You know, she has to save herself. And you will be love. Not by you, you sick freak. You're too old to be going after an 18 year old and you know it. And she needs to go on her own journey of self worth to decide who she wants to be loved by. And I know it's not you, you creepy old man. Get out of here. I knew all the words. Ugh. I had to wait. I had to wait this long for my frontal lobe to develop to actually realize what this, what this song was about. And there goes my childhood once again. Shambled, cracked like fine glass in pieces on the floor. For fuck's sake. Can I get a break? Which leads me into my next topic. Winter is coming. I John Snar. The days are shorter, thank God. But makes us feel like there's more to do. And only a short amount of daylight. In comes Green Chef. Green Chef can make your busy weeks easier with home delivery. Delicious recipes with quality whole foods including organic fresh produce in every box. Robbie and I travel a lot and the first thing to always go is always grocery shopping and cooking at home. But Green Chef really it so much easier and helps us get back into our daily routine, which is so important for my mental health. I like to be at home. Green Chef is the number one meal kit for clean eating, so you can also feel good about what you eat. Knowing there are limited process ingredients, which we really love to hear. It takes a lot of thought and preparation around a home cooked meal, which is always my biggest barrier. Green Chef also has seasonal ingredients. Delish. So for this season there are fresh squash, cranberries, brussels sprouts, green beans, maple syrup and pumpkin. Truly restaurant worthy ingredients and recipes. Robbie and I die for Green Chef like I said before, just because it takes a thought out of it. And we love knowing that we're going to have a homemade, fresh and delicious meal. We love the Mediterranean meals with leafy greens and good fats because we're on a health journey of our own. You've heard me talk about that dreaded gym membership, but I know it's doing the body good. So go to greenchef.com gabby50 and use code gabby50 for 50 off your first box, plus 20 off your next two months. That's code gabby50@greenchef.com gabby50 to get 50 off your first box, plus twenty off your next two months. We all know someone. We all know someone who knows someone who loves their nicotine and already carries a can of Zen on them at all times. It's in their pocket. You can see the outline. You know they'll be always packing with the packaging and we love them for it. So do you want to be the Wife, girlfriend, partner or friend of the year, look no further than Lucy Nicotine. Lucy cans make the perfect stocking stuff for which we're always needing. Plus they are much more aesthetically pleasing than those other cans you've seen lying around the house. So let's help elevate that special someone's nicotine routine. With Lucy breakers a nicotine pouch with a little extra surprise. Each pouch holds a capsule that can be broken open to release extra flavor and hydration. Lucy comes in a variety of flavors like wintergreen, mango, espresso and many more. I personally love the wintergreen. I feeling fresh and getting a little nicotine. Lucy is 100% pure nicotine, always tobacco free and comes in a variety of strengths. For the ultimate stocking stuffer this holiday season you can go to Lucy Co Gabby and use promo code Gabby to get 20% off your first order. Lucy has a 30 day refund policy. If you change your mind again, that's Lucy Co Gabby and use code Gabby to get 20 off. And here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. Warning. This product contains nicotine and nicotine is an addictive chemical. Okay, so there's been lots of discussion about Sophie Rain. For those of you who have no idea what's going on, she is, she's the only fan girls who reportedly makes $43 million year. Jaw on the floor, hyperventilating. Where's the sign up? Obviously, obviously this, this creates some discourse from some conversation, a controversial topic. All the men are enraged. Okay, you're the one subscribing. Okay, men, okay, the patriarchy created this demand of popping titty tootin on an app. You created this. You and your tech buds you because, because you need this demand because you have an insatiable need for sexual activity. Remember, remember when it was like a bragging, right? When the dudes were like, we're thinking about sex every seven seconds? Oh, yeah, bro. I don't have a brain. My brain's in my pants and there's barely any blood flow there, so there's definitely not any of my real noggin. I think about sex every seven second. And we thought it was cool. And then we, and then as women we internalize that and we're like, why don't I think about sex every seven seconds? Because I have to think about my safety. Because my maslow's hierarchy of needs is not even being met yet. So I don't get the luxury of thinking about penetration. Reverse doggy Ten times a minute. Because I'm moving through mud. Let me take a breath. Okay, so whatever part of the conversation. Are these men enraged? Who gives a fuck about them? Obviously, obviously there's. There's other things to think about. Another part, another part of the discourse is she's so successful because she looks about 15. Yes, yes. Because this is what also created the beauty standard. Because when women. Okay, let me, let me, Let me get this straight. In my mind, youth is a sign of fertility. Because somehow, somehow this may, this may be the most intuitive part about men that they have not tapped in on, but they only act on it, is that young means fertile. They haven't lost all their eggs yet. Monthly. All their eggs haven't dropped into their panties and flushed down the toilet. That's right. That's right. When I feel an egg coming, when I feel my middle schmurtz, I squares it out wherever I am and I wave it goodbye. But they know, so. So then their prehistoric brain, I take back all the credit I just gave them. It's actually not any kind of insight that they're working with. It's actually their caveman brain, which we know is the only. You know is they're still thinking as a troglodyte, a theovan of sorts. You guys get it. So younger women, because they're all pedophiles, because they're all freaks and disgusting and they're creeps. So this is the highest earning creator on only fans. Because she's a child. She looks like a child. She's 20. Which I will get into. Anyways. So everybody knows, whatever. We're perpetuating the sexualization of girls. We've all been sexualized as girls. It's part of the reason why we're so up. I can't be safe in this world unless I'm leading with sex, which I can abide by on my own terms when I want to. When I want to send a message. Because sex sells, baby. Anyways, I'm getting off track. I can't tell which side I'm on. So I do more research. It's piqued my interest. And that's not spelled P, E, A K E D U, you idiots. It's P I, Q, U, E, D, Q, Q. I gotta work on the U. It's piqued my interest. Okay, I'm doing more research now. I'm learning things. I'm becoming enlightened of these really top only fan creators are all ran by this. By an agency. So they have this creepy man Exploiting them. And he's taking most of their money. This is alleged. I'm actually hoping it's not true, but I think it is. I wish it wasn't, because I'm all about the girly getting her bag. So now. Now we've introduced the patriarchy again. They cannot let us have our own thing. Naturally. They have to control it. They created this industry, and now they're controlling it, and they're taking all the. And these girls are not seeing probably a fraction of that. Some were even like, is this a marketing tool? Because Sophie didn't go on this podcast. She was like, this is how much I make. I don't want to hurt your feelings. But she didn't really expand. She kept that part to herself. Could never be me. I would be fired immediately. And I'd be like, and this bitch ass with the furry belly and hairline starting. Starting about the. The tops of his cartilage on his ears, who should be freshly off a plane from Turkey after getting hair plugs, is taking all my money. And he doesn't deserve it. Human trafficking, sex trafficking is a crime. And exploiting goods and sex, okay, that's what they're doing, and they're dead to me. So now I'm upset, okay? Because first I thought that she was, you know, just making some money off of these dumbass men. And then. And then I got all high, and I was like, I gotta do the math. I gotta know the sheer amount of men that are subscribing and paying her to make more money than they ever will in selling in their basement, creating some kind of a tech app that will never take off. So instead, they're still eating TV dinners because their mom refuses to cook for them because their mom doesn't even want them around. Do you blame them? I sure don't. They'll never make this kind of money. I want to know how many of them there are. So I do. So I come up with a baseless formula. Naturally, I know exactly what to do. I remember the fraction times. Times x over a hundred equals a percentage of men I create. I'm like, okay, if she's making $43 million. So I'm just. I don't. I don't even know where I got these numbers. I do think. I'm not going to explain things, but I do a lot of thinking in my head. I have a lot of internal thoughts. This number equaled about 4 million. That is wrong, because that means that she would. That they would only be paying, like, $10 and I know she probably has the same people coming back over and over again. But what I'm assuming is that I'm sure all the. It's like a mid sized city. All the men in a mid sized city. Which isn't nothing. But I did think it was going to be more. I would like to know basically how many subscribers she has. Okay. The formula is not working. It's not proving to be true. I cannot figure it out for once in my life. I need help. I need to know how many perverts are out there. So. So basically I'm like another Hulu Netflix documentary waiting in the wings. We'll never know the truth. So I think there should be a union of sorts. I think there should be a union for sex workers. Let's unionize. Because it's dangerous work by nature. So they need protection. And first, the first chapter would be no men allowed to manage them. Nuh, nuh. Don't even come close. No. Women only. And they can only in. The managers can only take a max percentage of 30%. Chapter one. Chapter one. Get those grubby little X Y chromosomes off my money. I want to be managed by a woman. Because. Because with a man in the picture, there's already a power dynamic just by sheer anatomy. They're stronger, they're bigger, they're more powerful than you. And. And sex is another layer that's dangerous and exploitative. Get the fuck out of here. Second. Second. If I had it my way, if I had it my way, they'd be 25. That's when our. That's when our cerebellum, that's when our white matter, our gray matter, our pituitary frontal lobe is fully formed. At 25. That would never fly. So for sake of ease and whatever the legalities are around creating a union, we'll go with 21. Another arbitrary number which has been not detonated but designated to be the age where we can engage legally in activity which might harm us. What's the difference between 18 and 21? I guess three years, honestly. Which is a lot of time for your brain. But I'd like to push it. What? And nothing's gonna control me. I started drinking at 13 anyway. What are you gonna do? We can at least try. I think they should be 25. I'm not picky about what I eat around the holidays. Let's be real. I like to try it all. And I like to try it all at once. I love to eat until I'm beyond full and stress Eat. And the holidays do bring a lot of stress. I hate to say it. A rich pumpkin pie? Sure. Never been made. Mushroom soup? Absolutely. A sketchy beef tartare? You bet your heiny. As you can imagine, this leads to a tremendous amount of bloat. The heavy uncomfortableness of bloat. Ugh. What is it? Gas? Indigestion? Whatever it is, I hate it. So here is DSO1. DSO1 is formulated with 24 clinically and scientifically studied strains to support whole body benefits including gut health, skin health, heart health, immune health, gut barrier integrity, gut microbial balance and micronutrient synthesis in just two capsules a day. Can you believe it? Is formulated with strains clinically validated to reduce abdominal bloating and intermittent constipation after two weeks. It includes strains shown to support clearer, healthier looking skin in as little as 12 weeks. My favorite part of DSO1 is how easy it is to incorporate it into your daily routine, which is important because you reap the long term benefits the more regular and longer you use it. I also love it because you don't need a refrigerator and can take it while traveling or on the go. I'm always taking my supplements on the road with me, literally like during long drives because there's so much traffic in la, so it is reassuring that it doesn't need special care or a fridge to keep. Get ahead of the new year with a routine that helps you now by going to seed.com gabby and use code 25GABBY to get 25 off your first month. That's 25 off your first month of seeds DS01 daily symbiotic@seed.com Gabby code 25GABBY I never know what to get my extended family aka Grandpa John for Christmas. They're hard to shop for and I don't know really what they'll like or find meaningful and actually find something that they'll really use and get good use out of. But something I have gotten my grandpa in the past that he absolutely loves is story worth and I would really recommend it for anyone in the family. Here's how it works. Each week StoryWorth emails your loved one a thought provoking question that you get to help pick things like what's the bravest thing you've ever done? What's the farthest you've ever traveled? Or how did you used to get to school every day? Uphill both ways in the snow, even in the summertime is what they may say. Storyworth makes the writing process a breeze. All your loved ones need to do is respond to the that email with a story, long or short, it doesn't matter. And then you'll be emailed a copy of your loved one's responses as they're submitted over the course of a year. And you can add all of the emails in your family so everybody gets to read what your loved one is writing about. And it's a lot of fun just for family discussion and just to see what your loved one has been through. After that year of fun, Storyworth compiles your loved ones stories and photos into a beautiful keepsake hardcover book that you'll be able to share and revisit for generations to come. We kept my grandpa's book. We all have a copy, everyone in the family and it's nice just to look back on and know that we will have it forever. So with Storyworth, I am giving those I love most a thoughtful personal gift from the heart and preserving their memories and stories for years to come. Go to StoryWorth.com GabbyWindy and save $10 on your first purchase. That's StoryWorth.com Gabbywindy to save $10 on your first pur so when you see me on my Instagram exploiting my thong bikini for free. I am of a ripened age where I am severely in touch with my developed brain. Two, two in touch, fingerprints and everywhere. Cannot escape anything. No, I'm caught. No, it's me. I'm very in touch of the reality. I, you know. You know, I'm of an age, like I said, where I'm developed, but I'm also timeless. Some may say I transcend age generations. I can connect to anybody. Kids I don't know, not so much. But we're not having these conversations with children, okay? Okay. I can play those games on their little. On their little Nintendo's. Yeah, I want to be the cool looking girl who kicks ass, obviously. Anyway, so that's what I think. Let me backtrack for a second. I did forget one other bit that has caused me to crawl, crawl out of my thick skin, which is a Reddit thread I saw labeled I feel weird after having sex with someone I'm not attracted to, I feel weird. What the fuck do you think we feel? This is obviously coming from, from a man. What do you think we feel when you come at me with your pencil dick into my belly button? Have you ever seen a vagina before? Yeah, we feel weird. We don't run to the Internet, but begging for sympathy, playing some kind of a victim. What do you mean you feel weird? We didn't want to have sex with you either. Maybe that's why you feel weird. I know what you're doing. You're flipping the narrative and you think going to the Internet and letting it all out is going to abate you from your weirdness. No, you don't get to feel weird. Yeah, you. You feel weird when I'm running home to take an Ambien to give me some kind of amnesia where I totally forget. And I hope it's the Ambien that makes me walk off a ledge. I hope it's that kind, because you made me feel more than weird. I want to forget you ever exit. I want to forget I ever existed. That's what I think. But I don't go running around telling people it's just a fact of life. You just internalize it. Yeah, you make me feel weird, all right. You're not the only one who gets to feel weird. And. And do you not have any self control that if you weren't into the girl, you just can't. You just wouldn't want to fuck her? Yeah, maybe that's called guilt. Yeah, maybe that's called a conscience. Ever thought of that? You didn't need to bring her home and soak because you're too tired to actually pump a couple. You get to feel weird. No, I don't think so. I'm feeling weirder than you, and I beat you to it, so there's that. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, weirdo. That's what they say. Put it in your pipe and smoke it. Where? You guys know we're watching Life Below Zero, and one of my favorite characters is called Sue. The whole Internet hates her. I love her. It's okay. They're like. They're trying to survive in, you know, obviously Life Below Zero. It's in the title. Most are out there because they want to connect with nature, and they're really doing it. They're building their own homes. They're hunting for their own dinner. They're heating their homes with firewood. Not Sue? No. Sue lives on a compound of sorts with a generator and four refrigerators. She's not dedicated to the lifestyle, but she's dedicated to something. She's Sue. She's the only one that I'd want to sit down and smoke a joint with because she'd be a good time, because she has a personality, because she's always saying things like, put that in your pipe and smoke it because she's putting the sneak on them. She pretends to be able to hunt, but she can't. And she gives up way too soon because she's getting flown in Hostess products on a helicopter and smoking ciggies inside one of her compound buildings that's being heated. Like I said, biogenerated. She has a computer, she has a tv. And one of our favorite lines is when she tries to hunt, she says she puts the sneak on him. She's out looking for a caribou. She's looking for a bear. She said she's been attacked by a bear. Nobody believes her online. Nope. Everyone thinks they're lying. They've even gone so far to try and prove that it was a lie. I don't believe her, but let her have it. So now when she goes hunting, hunting for any kind of a bird, which all. All of the other families and cast members are. Hunting, fishing, no problem. Sue cannot. She just can't. She has a four wheeler. She does laps around the compound. She makes friends with all the foxes. These other guys would be killing them for food. She's like, let's see if we can put the sneak on them. So now me and Robbie in bed, we're like, should we put the sneak on? I'm like, I'm gonna put this sneak on you. I'm like, grabby, baby, will you please put the sneak on me? Please sneak me. I'm feeling hot and horny. And she's like, we're all gonna be bear meat. Bears want nothing to do with her. She's not blending in with nature. They want absolutely nothing to do with her. She's like, we're all gonna be bear meat. She's like, if you go outside without a gun, you might as well put some ketchup on you and call you a pork chop. Stop. Nobody's out to get you. Sue. She thinks she's a victim of sorts of mother nature. And they just absolutely want nothing to do with her. But she's entertaining. And that is why we watch pursue. And as you guys can tell, I've been in my raging lesbianism feminism. Are you a lesbian? Are you a lesbian? That is the question. Am I? Are you a lesbian? Why didn't you think about that for a second? Yes, I did smoke. Just a little bit of a joint. I love giving gifts. I love seeing someone's face light up when I give them something special. It's more for the validation and gratification of myself. And I love when I get a chance to give a gift of luxury. So let me introduce you to Quince. Quince lets you treat your loved ones and yourself to everyday luxury. At an affordable price. Something everyone needs in their closet in my opinion is Quince, this iconic Mongolian cashmere sweater which starts at only $50. I have one. I love it. I'm really picky with my sweaters and my tops. I like them to fit just right with good material and the material is so quality, it clings just right. I sized up because I like them to fit just a little looser and I have not been able to take it off for three days straight. Great. They also have really quality jewelry, so be sure to check out their 14 karat gold jewelry. They have Italian leather bags and European linen sheet sets. Hell or say less. A one stop shop. Quince Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands also. And how do they do that, you might wonder? Well, they partner directly with top factories and they cut out the cost of the middleman, which passes the savings on to you. This is what we're talking about, people. They only work with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices. So gift luxury this holiday season without the luxury price tag. Go to quince.com gabbywindy for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q U I n c e.com gabbywindy to get free shipping and 365 day return. Quince.com gabbywindy hi guys.
- [39:14]
Emma
I'm Emma.
- [39:15]
Gabby Windy
I'm Julie.
- [39:15]
Emma
And I'm Isabel. And we're the minds behind comments by celebs. You may be familiar with our Instagram account, but what you may not know is that we also host a podcast where three times a week we talk all things pop culture. Bravo and Kardashians. If you've ever felt alone in your niche, interest or desire to be informed on all things celebrity, just know we are your girl girls. So make sure to check out comments by celebs on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [39:40]
Gabby Windy
Let's meditate. Close your eyes. Unless you're driving. Take a deep breath. Just watch your breath. Don't control it. Am I a lesbian? Are you a lesbian? The answer is yes. Yes. Or maybe I think I'm reluctantly bisexual, but also probably pansexual, but also probably just sexual. Anyways, you know, I think at the beginning, which I feel like I've talked about, I like did not believe in bisexuals. Sorry. And now I'm coming back around. I think I didn't believe in it because I probably had. I probably had internalized homophobia and that I was like, like making sure. But I was projecting my Fears. Let me try and make sense of this really quick. I hate to say biphobia, because it's, like, such a buzzword, but it definitely was internalized. I was like, how can this happen? But I think, like, I was afraid of hurting Robbie's feelings, and I was afraid of. Of it being true for me, because then I feel like it would just be too many options and too complex, and then I would just think myself into a rut. So I didn't want it, so I vehemently opposed it. One of my favorite words. Vehemently. Vehemently. And that's the first time I've ever really said it confidently, because you know who I heard said it? Dorit Queen. So. But now I'm coming back around because I've kind. I'm like, so be it. So be it. What if I'm bisexual? Who cares? Who cares? I'm the master of my own life. This is this. I get to live it however I want. I don't have to be ashamed of me. I'm in love with my baby. I'm in love with Robbie, and that's all that matters. But, yeah. Yeah, I almost felt guilty about him. Like, am I hiding something if I'm a bisexual? And naturally, when you let it in, when you face your fears, then you come to an epiphany that maybe you are, maybe you're not. What we knew all along. But now that I'm not so afraid of it, now I can really think about it. I'm like, okay. But okay, well. Well, if I was. Well, maybe I am, and that's okay. And then I get close to a man at a restaurant, and I'm like, you disgust me. I cannot. I can't even see myself next to you. I can't sit on your lap like I do. Robbie's. Sure I squish her. I'm twice her sides, but I don't care. There's love in it. I can't get next to you in that facial hair and that mustache. No, I just don't think it's for me. So then I'm like, what about the effeminates? What about the Palmez cows? I just learned who he was, so I'm like, maybe. And then I think about it, and I'm like, I don't think so. I just. And. And that's okay. And that's okay either way. And it's always okay. But I think it also could be just because I'm in love, you know? You guys know I have a gym membership. I Hate it, but it's kind of fun for Robbie and I to do together. I'm actively looking for a doctor's note to get out of it. I've been saying it. I haven't been seeking. Thank you for your offers. I've gotten plenty. I really appreciate you, and I will, at some point, pro take you up on it. But it's been fun to go together. And she goes before me because she likes to go for like three hours. I don't know why she spends so much time there. I'm like, you know, you don't have to do everything every time. It's like, that's why, you know, leg day. She's like, yes, I do. I'm like, okay. There's just no talking her out of it. So she goes an hour before me. And every time I meet her at the gym and I'm looking for her, I get giddy and butterfly. I'm like, this is what love is like. And then I was thinking, I know you can't stand to hear me think, you know, something's coming, but I have. I'm not even. I'm not even halfway through what I want to talk about. Just wait till you hear about the aliens. Just wait. And Pluto is an Aquarius. We have. I gotta get to the point already. I used to think about love as being glamorous. You know, it's like we glamorize the catch. Flights, not feelings. We're flying to see. See this. I. Okay, I'm sorry to hurt your feelings. This is what straight people do. It's in your mind. He's gonna fly me out. This is the way to fall in love. But it's like, oh, aren't you uncomfortable? You barely know this guy and you don't have. You cannot come home. There's no escape. Dating is so scary. You have to have a security to come back home to. When I'm flying, it's like, oh, my God, he put me in first class. And they were doing this and that. I'm like. With some of you don know and probably hate. Definitely. So love me coming from the Bachelor or. Everything was so glamorized. But. But I actually think. I actually think the best part is the mundane is day to day. I get to see Robbie every day. We're building a life together. We talk about so much. We talk about everything. We bicker a little. We love a lot. It's like, this is love. It's the stability. It's filling my Maslow's hierarch needs, which I never had. Anyways, okay, back to the aliens. So. So also one more thing. The one more thing that's just gotten on my first nerve, on my nerves is I was reading this guy is who has predicted tsunami in Indonesia. He created an AI program to monitor linguistics. What? Okay, so. So a change in the way I talk. So a change in what I'm saying is going to predict a tsunami via AI What a change in my vocabulary all the time. Vehement, inherent. Trying to think of another word I've learned recently. Nardo has the Zoomies on the couch. I don't know you guys get it. It. I'm learning new and I'm throwing them out. And now that is predicting a tsunami in Indonesia, which, by the way, they've had like a hundred, which doesn't sound like a lot, but it's a lot. Have you ever seen a tsunami? I've never been close to one. It's not something that happens that we come into contact with all of the time. Okay, okay. His name's Cliff. Okay, Cliff, you got me. This program he created also is predicted what should have been an alien invasion on December 3rd. I didn't meet anyone. E T Foam Home. Hello? There's only a dial tone. There's no one on the other line. We come in peace. Not around here. If I saw one, I'd be like, lfg. High fur. Let's go. I'm ready to leave this place. I need an experience. If you spit me back out, I'll talk about it on the podcast. I. I need content. I'm not really leaving the house these days. December 3rd came and went. He also. This is also part of his resume that he predicted. Well, this. This goes apart with the alien invasion. He predicted an alien invasion on December 3rd because it was exactly 39 days after this huge linguistic change. Remember, this is how. This is how. This is his big tool to predict these whatever phenomenons so that there's a big linguistic change 39 days before, which was two of the weirdest looking men on our planet. Donald Trump on Joe Rogan's podcast. That's what he's basing his information on. The two men that are basically running our country and look very strange objectively. Maybe they know so much because they're not. But it's like, who gives a but? It's like, how do you even have room in your brain to think about an alien invasion when I'm wondering what my homosexuality means? Why does a vulva perfectly resemble a rose? How did Mother Nature know that and create that for us. And what does it mean? It should be treated as such. Unless you like it rough. I don't. I'm always like, robbie, too hard, too hard, too hard. Like, you know, but she gets too excited. You know, some people are. But she's always like, faster, faster, faster, harder, harder, harder. And I'm like, babe, my. My whole hand is going to completely decapitate itself from my wrist. My whole hand is completely going to sever itself from my wrist is what I meant. My digits are going to fall off one by one. I cannot move any faster. So this is what I'm thinking about. I don't have. I don't have time to think about an alien invasion. I have met adjustments every week. I just learned that my psychiatrist put me on gabapentin, and it's supposed to help with marijuana dependency. Unbeknownst to me, I want my personality back. I want my dependence back. I want to feel the rush of relief. Why don't I want it anymore? I had an appointment with her and I was like, oh, I'm really cutting back on weed. She's like, oh, I don't know if you know this. And I'm like, oh, this was part of your big plan? I got to help myself first before anybody else. You remember that I'm an addict. It's like, truly, truly back then, until. And we have the technology. We have drones. We've gone to outer space. Elon Musk has shot a rocket and landed in the exact same spot. I don't give a fuck. It probably wasn't that hard. Just nobody was like, whoa, I'm going to show them. This will be really cool. And impress. Impress the same people that are waiting for the aliens to come on December 3rd. Easily impressed. Not me. I don't give a fuck. Anyways, we have all this technology and you're telling me you cannot show me a clear video, not. Not even of a ufo, but of a little green. I want to see a picture in 4K. Not even of a UFO, not even of a saucer, not even of an unidentified object of El Fabra. What's her name? El Faba. Because she's green. Okay? I. Why? Why? If they're out there and you're so sure of it, why can't I see some kind of photo evidence? Why aren't they making themselves known if they're coming here? Okay, so once I see a picture, then I'll believe. Yeah, I'm probably a flat Earther back then. If I lived back then, I would Believe the Earth was flat and it wouldn't bother me. And once I found out that it was a 3D sphere, globe of sorts, I wouldn't fucking care because I don't think about that every day. Because it doesn't matter if the Earth. If the earth is 3D or 2D, I'm walking the same way. I'm getting nowhere. It's flat for me, that's for sure. It's flat. It's gray and it's flat. Nardo, it's licking his nose again. It wouldn't change my life knowing that the world wasn't flat. Michelle Silverstein. Michelle Silverstein. Where the sidewalk ends. I don't give a fuck. I'll tip over. It just does. It just doesn't matter on a day to day. It's great that we found it out. Yes, of course I'm a believer in science. It doesn't sound like it right now, I'll tell you that. But okay, speaking of science, astrology. Now we can talk about something that has legs. You know what I mean? It's tangible. It's a real theory. It's been proven again and again. Not like the aliens or back then the earth was round. You know what I mean? Astrology is real because. Because, and I've said it before, my great friend Morgan really astutely said this. The moon controls the tides. We know. It's science. The tides are water, in case you didn't know. And our body is 70 water. So the moon controls us. You bet your ass. Aquarius is in Pluto. Pluto's in Aquarius. I forget which one goes into which, but it's a big shift gift. It's huge. It's going to last for 20 years and we need to buckle the up. It's giving coup. Where? Throwing coups. We're cooing. We're revolting. It's a revolution. The last time Aquarius was in Pluto was the American Revolution. Hello. We're revolting. But this time against totalitarianism. This time against the fucking man. We're decentralizing the power, okay? And we saw that rip by the United Healthcare CEO being shot basically point blank. What the fuck? We haven't seen this kind of anything in so long because he made like over $300 million last year denying sick and poor people health care there. Pluto's in Aquarius. All right, all right. Coup is maybe the only word I learned in like grade school, but. And it's like they ob. Did they? They. Yeah, they kind of taught it as a bad thing. Yeah, Like a group of people trying to overthrow the government. But it's like, that's because they taught us that the government was good. So in my head, I'm like, oh, this could never happen, because it would obviously be people who are bad people, you know, are like our criminals. And it's like the. It's like January 6th, which just gives it such a bad name. But we need a good coup. Long winded. Listen up, listen up. It's a time of cult, and I'm your leader. That's right. There's going to be a shift in power. And I mean, that was crazy. Not saying that that's the way to handle these things, to make yourself known, to send a message. But I am. And just to remind you that this is a podcast of satire and comedy, okay? Because I don't believe in the second amendment at all. So it's. It's looking really crazy for us. I don't have any Aquarius in my chart, so I don't know if this really concerns me, but it is concerning society. Let me tell you what Aquarius themes. Social groups, technology, democracy. That's right. That's right. Where we're getting new leaders. Some of the quirky sort. Yours truly, I keep telling you, I'm not gonna stop. We are taking over the world here at Long Winded. Okay? Mark my words. Once I book one acting role, you will never see me again. But until then, we're cooing up. We're colton up, up. And we're cutting up. I might have to take that out. I don't know. That didn't really land. So. Okay. So really, that's it for me. And we'll see you next time on Long Winded. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.