← Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Heated Rivalry
00:49:06
my thoughts and opinions about the s*xy hot new show Heated Rivalry.
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Transcript48 lines
- [00:01]
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- [00:27]
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- [00:58]
Main Podcast Host
Hello?
- [00:59]
Co-Host or Guest
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello, can you hear me? Hello? Hello?
- [01:05]
Main Podcast Host
Okay, I think this is good. Maybe.
- [01:08]
Co-Host or Guest
How's this?
- [01:09]
Main Podcast Host
Okay, that's better. I'm playing with fire here, girls. I'm on one bar left of my battery, so I'm gonna keep this here and I'm gonna check because I forgot to bring my batteries down. What the is new? If it's not one thing, it's another. If it's not another thing, it's one thing. But we are resilient. Worst comes to worst, I guess I won't even talk about it. Knock on wood. As you can see, my shirt says sad mommy. Aren't we all a little sad? Aren't we all just a little sad inside? Maybe some more than others. Me. And as you can see, I'm also on a heating pad for reasons I'm not yet ready to discuss. I'm sorry. You'll find out at one point or another. But not right now. But it does remind me I'm obviously rewatching all the seasons of Real Housewives of New York when nothing else is to watch because we're going to be talking about heated rivalry today. So now I'm done. And now I don't know what to binge. So I think it's like season 12 or 13 that I love to rewatch. It's the season with Jules. I feel like she was so underrated. She was only there for one season. She kind of like she was a mellow to the storm of Bethenny Frankel and good, good friends with Dorinda. She was funny. She was scared of everyone. I think she was relatable and she hurt her coochie bad. I forget what happened to her, but remember she went to go see a plastic surgeon and he's like, it's the worst it's ever seen. Split her labia, her hole in half. Swollen, painful to the touch. That's not what's going on with me, but it did remind me so. So let's commence starving.
- [02:59]
Co-Host or Guest
Ah.
- [02:59]
Main Podcast Host
Okay. This show is sponsored by Better Help.
- [03:08]
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You know, I'm always talking about mental health. It is very important and women deserve to be celebrated. But we should also recognize that many women carry emotional weight at work, in relationships, in families and in the roles
- [03:22]
Main Podcast Host
they play for others.
- [03:24]
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- [04:16]
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- [04:34]
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- [04:45]
Main Podcast Host
Heated rivalry at first I was like, I don't know if I have enough to say about the show. I don't know if it's gonna like I'll have to put other things in there, you know. But have I got a lot to say? So it's like obviously there's an overarching theme on how hard it is to be closeted. Which is honestly like a true tragedy in itself. Obviously to not be able to be with the one just because of societal pressures like come on, let's grow up already. So what, we're all a little gay. It's true. What does it matter to you? I'm not hurting you. And I was like so lucky for all the support when I came out. But I know not everyone had the same experience. Like, Robbie had a terrible experience. And honestly, it just breaks my heart thinking of, like, what my wife was going through. Maybe the worst time in her life. I know it was the worst time in her life just for us to literally be together and be in love at the end. Like, she did that for me, and it's just so sad. So we're getting a lot of this, you know, And I think it can, like, touch anyone. Gay, straight, in the middle, whatever. But people are, like, shocked, I guess, that so many straight women are into it. But it's, like, not really because, one, we all need something to binge. The straight women we like to consume, we like to be in the culture because we're smarter than you. And it's more of a romance is a love story. And didn't someone say, maybe the great Alexander Bell say, the greatest thing is to love and be loved in returned? We're into it. And that thought, it lingers. It lingers in our minds 24 7. I mean, there's not a time when we're not thinking about love and we're not thinking about our partner unless we're thinking about something else, which also could happen. But most of the time, I'm thinking about Robbie. I miss her. She took my car to work. I don't know if she's gonna walk into the garage at some point. But we love an interruption by the great Robbie Hoffman. But heated rivalry, it gives us the yearning. It makes our heart swell. It's like the longing. Are they going to be together despite the Ilya, Rosie Rosanov, the Russian, risking Putin and risking being put in a gay concentration camp of the Russians. Here is the gas chamber for your butt sex proclivities. Here is starvation for buying up all the enemas from CVS in which your grandfather needs because he's grown a tolerance to the Prudrus. He's constipated. Give us forbidden love. You have to do it. It's too early to say what I want to say. You have to do it in secret.
- [07:37]
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Hot.
- [07:38]
Main Podcast Host
It's my favorite fantasy. It's my favorite dirty talk. You know, it's like, oh, baby, can anyone know? And she's like, no, you can only do this with me. You're my only girl, and you must not do this with anyone else or anything else. Boing. There goes the cum. There goes a big O. Boing. Just like that. So I love it. So, like, the beginning is probably fun, but obviously the story develops and it's like, are they ever going to make it out and be able to love each other as two hot thick thighed hockey players in the public? Or will the NHL lose all of its Republican funding unless they have a baby to encourage breeding? And then the Republican funding is back. Here we go. Chicken strips and a white claw on the ice. Fight, fight, fight. Who's in the box? The penalty box. Wouldn't know, but I do like the penalty box. Ooh, you been bad. Go to timeout. It's like, it's like, give us that four page monologue where Rosie speaks in Russian about how hard it is, how hard his life is because his family sucks and he's supporting them from afar and I cannot stand his brother. And he speaks, he speaks in his native tongue because it's so hard to articulate in English. And after the monologue, you know, Shane's on the other line. He's like, please speak to me in Russian so it's easier for you to communicate and I'll be here. And he can't understand a word he's saying because, you know, obviously it's in Russian. So all he has is intuitive understanding, you know, and he gets it. And then Shane goes in English, I wish you were here after the Russian, which he doesn't understand. And my eyes start to swell and Ilya says, I wish I was there too. I'm pretty sure in English. That's when he switches. My eyes turn to Lacrimosal. That means big, swollen with tears, and they're running down my face. I wish you were there too, Rosie. You need to be together. One of my favorite scenes. Really? I want to rewatch it, but, like, who has the time? And never mind that. Rosie. I forget his real name. Connor maybe learned Russian. Robbie and I were like having a debate, like, is he Russia? Is he from Canada? She's like, these Russians are dime a dozen in, in Canada. And I'm like, yeah, but just because it's filmed in Canada doesn't mean he's Canadian. Sure enough, he's from Texas. Learned Russian for the part. And when he switches to Russian, his voice gets deeper. He nailed it. I think he nailed it. He nailed all the isms. And I thought his, his Russian and his broken English, like, made the show. Especially in the beginning when, like, you weren't sure kind of if you were gonna like the show or not. You're like, is this good acting? Unclear. But the Russian is hot. And he knows how to speak Russia. Like all, all Rosie knows how to say is go fuck yourself after a compliment. He doesn't Know how to say thank you in English. They're like, that was a great speech, man. I loved also his, like his pump up speech in the locker room on the camera was like turning around him. All his veins were pumping out. Someone was like, good job. And he was like, go fuck yourself. I'm like, Give me someone who only understands every other word and doesn't know the colloquialisms of the English language. Everything is a mystery to him. And to I. My throbs over the thought and back to the Russian monologue part. I do think Shane really missed an opportunity. Like if someone was speaking to me in a different language and I encourage them. I'd pull up my computer, I'd pull up my iPad. Turn. Hold on, hold on. Don't. Don't go into it just yet about how terrible your father is and how much you miss your mom, even though she was amazing. Just like, hold it one second. I'll put you on mute and then pull up your iPad or your computer. Google Translate, speakerphone. Let's see what he has to say. But Shane just sat there like a doofus with his eyes closed. And instead he was feeling with his heart and not with his mind. Couldn't be me. Gonna be me. I'm too cerebral. Give us sex, we say to heated rivalry. And boy, did they give it to us. Steamy, teasing sex. Thumb in the mouth, then the fingers in the mouth, and maybe a whole fist in the mouth. Sex. But sex. Second on the D. Sex. Playing with the mushroom. Had sex while the other is on the phone. Sex. This is what we need. I mean, there was so much head in this show that their jaws must have been locked. There has to be a doctor on scene. There's an intimacy coordinator, and there's an unlock your jaw doctor just in case, which probably happened two to three times a day. Pop it back into place and somehow, somehow they have all their teeth. Despite playing hockey and sucking each other's dickies every five seconds. You know, it would behoove them to get a partial or dentures already. A double entendre, a double whammy, A bogo, if you will. You don't have to worry about your teeth when you're playing hockey. You can headbutt that rude point guard who said he fucked your mom last night and then scored a hat trick. Then you knocked his teeth out because your mom's dead. But you didn't even get any teeth. You only got the gums, so unfortunately you didn't do any damage. Maybe there's a Maybe there's a little bleeding from the vasculature, but nothing like you wanted. And that's what. And that's why it's good for hockey players to have no teeth. They'll just gum you down. And speakin of gums. And then you can just gum on the dick instead of biting on it. You can't say, that doesn't sound nice. Doesn't that sound nice? Those who are listening that have some kind of a phallic. And instead of a grandma sucking on your D, you get your lover, but instead he just has dentures or maybe a partial of the two front teeth. You can still put the little dicky in there. You have a little space. And in every scene, before they go down on each other slowly, there's a quick cut from then taking out their dentures and putting them in the pink cup. Now don't you lose these dentures. Don't you lose this pink cup. Yeah, maybe wash them out to keep them clean, but you have to put them back in the cup and then on your dresser because they're very expensive. And you and your overnight bag, you have to bring denture glue along with your enema. And you know what? Honestly, I'm one to complain about the apparati of dentures and partials and enema because there's so much apparati in lesbian sex. First you have to put on the harness. I wouldn't know. I never wear the harness. And then I just know via visualization and witnessing. And then you have to put the dickey in the harness just right and rearrange it so it's comfortable and it doesn't fall out mid penetration. Ha ha. How reminiscent of the straight sex.
- [15:20]
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Hmm.
- [15:21]
Main Podcast Host
Don't remind me. Say it. Say it to my face. You can't get hard and it's falling out. Just be a man. Be honest with me. I know what's going on here. You have erectile dysfunction. You forgot your Viagra because you're on too much cocaine. And you drink too much because you don't know your limitations. And then back to the harness in the little dicky, you have to give it a good rub down with coconut oil, like a quarter of the tub which sits in your underwear drawer, maybe possibly gathering bacteria by the second. It doesn't matter to you. You've never gotten a yeaster. And by then, by then, after assembling all of the apparati, the whole of Swag 2 has played and you're yawning through an orgasm. And thank God I'm not a gay man. Cause I hate that dangling snake, that third leg, and I hate putting it in my mouth.
- [16:16]
Co-Host or Guest
I'll just put this was me.
- [16:18]
Main Podcast Host
If I ever had to. This was me. Oop, my mic is falling off. This is me.
- [16:21]
Co-Host or Guest
Just the tip.
- [16:23]
Main Podcast Host
Okay, I'm done. Okay, roll over. It's my turn. But also, I think a big part of what the women liked in the show is the domination. The domination of Rosie taking charge over sweet, sweet Shane. My friend was like, I make my boyfriend watch this with me and he's taking notes because this is what women want. Being a sub is like omakase. You don't have to think what you're going to order. And all of a sudden a tasty, pleasurable meal shows up. It's like sugar fish. You're given the same delicious nigiri every time you go in without breaking your brain on what kind of crudo you're going to get for an app. And should I get the miso sound soup or. And I'm going to bloat. Okay. And can I ask you a quick question? What is the most popular sushi roll on the menu? I don't love raw scallops. Do you have anything else? Maybe a baked crab? Oh, that's not one of the best sellers. You have a lemon roll. There's none of that. There's none of that. Asking questions and taking it upon yourself. The Dom takes charge as the omakase chef with his own personal chef knife of domination and tells you to roll over and open wide because he's got this, the chef of omakase. And he makes it tasty and just right. And you can sit back in surprise of what kind of moosh bouche is going to be offered next. Maybe a kiss on the cheek. Maybe a kiss on the bottom cheek. You lay back and writhe in deliciousness of what's coming next. Women want omakase sex. It's just what we want. And honestly, watching this, like, watching how good, obviously their chemistry is unreal. It's palpable. Palpable. The casting was incredible. But it does like despite all that.
- [18:33]
Co-Host or Guest
So what?
- [18:33]
Main Podcast Host
It's a movie. Okay, so it's kind of like sci fi. We're in outer space here. Maybe we're where in Mars. Because it makes me think that the men are always supposed to be together. Boys like boys look at the chemistry. And the boys, they have so much in common. The same anatomical body parts. So they know how to give a full handy without acting like you're washing a kitchen Utensil with a scrubber. Daddy. They both love hockey. They love sports. They can, I don't know, switch out their jock strap or maybe their shoulder pad. They don't look like quite the same size. But you're telling me that men do spend hours in the locking room oogling each other's ding a ling. Don't want a piece of that. It's only natural. It's only natural. Of course, there would be thoughts in your mind about rubbing, about that little ding a ling ding dong rubbing against your soft prostate. Huh? Oh, you like it. Oh, you're gay. It's just that easy. It happens. It happens to the best of us. And they play video games together, which the thought of a romantic couple playing video games together makes me physically sick. I can feel the saliva rising in my throat right now. Ooh, excuse me, I just barfed. But that's what boys do. And this is how they spend quality time with each other. And they love it. And it brings them closer and there's a connection. Oh, I beat him last time, but actually, he's getting better. Look, I get to watch him grow. Those boys, your boyfriend, your fiance, playing up all night Call of Duty with their friends. There's a group chat there on the headset. We're talking. We're talking shit. Oh, and this and that. Even though he has a call time of 7am to his aerospace engineer, he's gay. Boys are for boys and girls are for girls. It just makes sense to me. And it's not because I'm gay. It's because I have a brain and because I pay attention. But I will say my over. This all brings me back. It's reminiscent, kind of, of my favorite romantic gay couple. Maybe my favorite romantic relationship on TV of all time is Bert and Irving from Severance. The way my heart melted when Bert had to leave Lumen, and Irving was like, don't let him. Don't let them do this to you. You're going to cost his life. And then as an Audi, Irving, bang, bang, bangs on the door with all his. My lovers in there. I'm in love. I can't get it out of my head. I couldn't breathe. It was real love. And then Bert had to send Irving away on that train to nowhere, and they would never be together. Ah. Crack my chest. Squeeze my heart. I'm dead. But back to the hockey players. I mean, the melancholic romantic music. Music over each sex scene. It just, like, it really gets to you. You can feel it in here. You don't even know what you're watching, but it puts a spell on you and you really buy it. I did. I did love the music. I think music makes a big difference in a TV show. Even though this kind of music was probably just from the free Tick Tock music library. You know, with the exchange rate, these Canadians, they don't have a whole lot of money. They probably didn't have money for licensing, but the songs they did splurge on were quite good. I loved the ending song. When they're driving. Spoiler alert, you guys. I'm spoiling everything, whatever you came in here. But they're driving away holding each other's hand to that song. I watched it.
- [22:18]
Co-Host or Guest
Eyes wide with a soft smile.
- [22:25]
Main Podcast Host
But it's like, you put that music over any kind of scene and I'll buy it. Even if you're in love with your incestual uncle, it's fine. I'm here for it. But I do feel like the writing and the storytelling, they. They hit the nail on the head with so many things, like the frustration of dating men. And we have. You can see we have, like, the emotionally available one, Shane, and the emotionally unavailable one, Rosie. And Rosie, like, refuses to talk about his feelings even though he's falling so hard. Like, he's always the one to text Shane and be like, can't wait to see you in Ottawa, wherever the. So we can, like, horse around and bump uglies. And he's kind of the one, like, that keeps the relationship going under the guise of. But he is always the one that reaches out and is, like, trying to pursue Shane, even though it might be, like, disingenuous at this time because he only wants to get his dick wet. But, like, how could you not with those perfectly puckered lips of Shane, so shut up and put them on my penis. But then, like, the emotionally unavailable Ilia, Rosie is still kind of having sex with his best friend. The first time Svetlana popped up in his house, when he came home and was, like, surprised and they started having sex on the table. It's like, can you not? Like, I'm just not buying it. But. But I think this is what emotionally unavailable do. They'll just put it in any hole that's easy, that's available. I'm not going to think about my boyfriend Shane, who I love back home. You're in front of me, so I guess I'll fuck you on the table. And like, Svetlana, you're gorgeous, but, you know, you're nothing but a hole. I'M sorry, I'm sorry. You're going to find yourself a good hockey player one day. But he tried to convince us that we're kind of like boyfriend, girlfriend. Like, they were kind of in love. And it's like, please don't. Please don't. Your big, muscular, veiny heart is with Shane. And why are you trying to hurt his feelings? Just be committed for once. Grow up. Available your emotions. And like, Rosie was terrified to go to the cottage because I bet he's just never spent, like, real intimate time with, like, somebody that he loves. And then it's all the nerves of being alone and falling in love and, like, going on an exciting trip. But you're like, it's also so scary and nerve wracking to go on the first vacation together, which I feel like is such a test. It's like, are we gonna have enough to talk about? Are we gonna click? Is he gonna give me the ick? How do I prepare? I don't think they use condoms with maybe enough lube. Be sure to bring all your antidepressants and maybe the rescue Ativan in case things are too good. Cause that's terrifying. Or maybe they're too bad. Equally as terrifying. How am I gonna get out of this? What's my escape plan? I don't have any friends out here in the middle of nowhere cottage. I guess I'll drown myself in this. Like, but the nervous system, it can't handle a trip alone. The first trip alone. Cause up until now, their time has been kind of superficial. But here they go, falling in love. My heart is beating out of somatic control. Where's my EpiPen in the form of a volume. I need it. I am. I'm nervous and I'm in love. Love. But this dynamic is triggering. Like, he's like all men, Ilya, all women have gone through this with like, with men vying for their attention but don't actually mean it. Even though, like, the man will headbutt a toothless wonder of a beast on the slippery ice. But he will not commit to you because it's scarier. Because he's too frightened. I'll give you a concussion, but I will not give you my heart. They say these men, these men who are hockey players in this instance. But Shane is obviously the emotionally available one. He always respond. Or he always responds. You know, Ilya is always on his mind. And to be honest, I did think that Shane was like, so boring in the beginning. I'm like, this acting is so bad. He's Dry. He's dry as a 30 aged rib eye steak. He's dry as your furry tongue after three joints and 18 cigarettes. And you can't stop running your mouth before you pass out from paranoia. So you gotta take a swig of a spin drift. He dries your crusty underwear that you have to flip inside out because you don't do your laundry because it's in a room that you don't like the feng shui. But I did read an article that maybe cleared things up a little bit that Shane is autistic. We needed more of that in the show. Certainly more of the autism background so the audience could understand because I didn't really pick up on that. I thought he was just like, shy. But after learning this important detail, it makes sense why he was the way he was, you know, so. So now watching him, it's like, oh, he's actually such a good actor. Which I had. I had an. An inkling that they were directing him like this, you know, like, be like. But so now he's a great one. He takes direction well. But he didn't seem very autistic with his parents. Like, he just seemed normal. But it's like, aren't we all a little autistic when it comes to nerve and lovers? You don't. You don't recognize yourself because you're so shy. And you just want to be yourself, but you're up against the wall of desire. How can I be myself when there's someone I so adore staring back at me? I can't. I can't. I'm a brick wall. Just be yourself, they say. Just be yourself. What's not to love? They'll love you. Your friends lie to your face because you guys are getting on each other's nerves all the time. And you're probably a Gemini. I gotta take a sip. It's like, what are we gonna do with these boys? They're ripping our hearts out. For better or for worse, I'll dream of them. You're going on vacation.
- [29:01]
Co-Host or Guest
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- [30:15]
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- [30:35]
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Savings versus Comparable Verizon plans plus the cost of optional benefits plan features in Texas and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third line free via monthly bill credits. Credits stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required.
- [30:46]
Main Podcast Host
I do feel like Shane took a real turn in his performance when he went to the hospital after getting his rocked on the rink. And then I, I don't know. I think this is one of my favorite parts or scenes when Rosie like shows up to finally start showing some emotion by being so concerned for him on the ice and visiting Jane in the hospital. I'm like oh my God, they're really starting a relationship. But wasn't that like everyone's daydream who wanted to date a jock? Me like you dream. You daydream of them getting beat up on the field so hard that maybe they tore an ac, their kneecap is in their thigh and they could be unconscious and you're so concerned in this dance as a girlfriend and everyone is looking at you with worry meant. So now you're the star of the show. You get all the attention and then the time comes and you run to the field and rescue him. Not with CPR but a French kiss and he comes alive and then he forever falls in love with you because you saved him and it's such a sweet moment. Haven't we all? Haven't we all? Maybe just me, but this was Ilya. I mean he didn't save him because he was so knocked the out. He's like seeing stars and unconscious. But it's like this Rosie showing this vulnerability and sweetness and showing care and emotion. It makes him so much hotter and he's always his perfect little cupid's bow. I die. I can only look at his when he smokes. But here we go. Rosie's extra hot now paired with the veins and his large arms, his imperfect English. And now this. Now showing a heart not of scorn but of
- [32:36]
Co-Host or Guest
chance.
- [32:38]
Main Podcast Host
Clear. Clear. Me. I need 120 joules of shock. I'm in atrial fibrillation. But Shane was like. It was a scene when Shane was sedated in bed and he has a sling on and he was like so happy that his loved one came to visit him and he was so cute and giddy and it felt so genuine. I feel like his acting was really peak. Then it's like, I guess the milk of amnesia wings some of his autism because I thought he was like so good. And you know, they obviously had to hide their relationship and in front of the nurse. But Shane had enough propofol to take down a pedophile and was just like so happy to see his boyfriend. Boyfriend. And it was so sweet with him and like, just like coy, like coinly, like such a sweet sickness that it makes you, ah, it just makes you want to, ah, squeeze them up. Elliot's here. I want a piece of that Russian pierogi. And I feel like this was the beginning of their real relationship, of them like just being really endearing for one another and accepting the real feelings and going out of the way to like really care. And we just got a glimpse, I think Ilya got a glimpse of what were to happen if Shane like went away. Like, what if he was really injured or Shane was taken out of his life and then it was like a wake up call. Like if that happened to Robbie, there's just no way I could ever recover. So it's like instead of just like bumping uglies while Rosie's chain hits you in the face on each pump. Not that we all don't love a chain. Bang. I got Robbie a chain. But she's so superstitious with her jewelry that I give her. She thinks it's like if she wears it something bad's gonna happen. You know her, so she never wears it, she just displays it. I've gotten her the best jewelry. All in vain. But Shane played high like so well. And he just lit up when he saw his lover. Like it was so sweet and real and he didn't accept, expect it. That was the least person, the last person, you know, we would expect to go visit him in the hospital. And this is what you want. You want Your boyfriend, girlfriend, your wife, husband of the same sex, gay, naturally to come save you when you're feeling down. It just has like healing powers. But I also thought like the writing of the flirting was so good, like there was so much tension and build up and like one of the earlier scenes when they were kissing in the hallway when Rosie was waiting for his cab and like made my heart bitter patter, like they couldn't stop kissing each other, they didn't want each other to go. And it's like this is how you feel when you're newly in love and you're like flirting and giggling and like walking each other down to the front door. Cut to two years later. Let yourself out and lock the door behind you and close the elevator door. But like in the beginning you're just hoping for one last tongue down and then your, your Uber comes. You can't afford a black, they're rookies. They can barely afford a multi pack of cups to protect their genitalia on Amazon. So your Toyota Yaris arrives with a stranger in the back because you can only afford Uber pool. So the driver has to get out because it's a two door, he has to do the seat and you crawl in like a baby to the back. But you need as many kisses as you can before, before you do the crawl into the back of the Yaris and you wait in sweet silence for the other passenger to be dropped off first. But it doesn't even matter that you're in a two door Toyota or that your bank account now has $5 because it did have $12 but the Yaris was a big fat $7 with the tip. But it doesn't matter to you because you're selling stuck and love struck reverie. But there this is the like so much tension and chemistry and how new couples actually act. Like whenever you're around a new couple, like this is actually palpable. And I thought the texting was so good. Like Shane was obviously so dry. I'm like, please show some personality. But I think Ilya like liked him for it because he knew there was like just a tenderness line behind and like at least Rosie calls it out that Shane is boring. I guess that was supposed to be like our insight into him having autism. But like some people are just boring. But it's like, you know, Shane is so whipped and he doesn't know how to respond when like, you know, he's debating what to respond before the hockey game and Ilya is just seeing the bubbles. It's like the bubbles and Then the bubbles go away, and then the bubbles, and the bubbles go away. And your heart's in your butt because you just want to. You just want there to. To letters, to manifest something that makes your bottom lips swell. Like, please, something, please say anything. A period, anything. Like a heart. But hopefully it's something sexy that makes me giddy. And then I can play on the rink and I can get all the other goals. But one of the times when Shane went to have, like, a sneaky with Rosie at the hotel, and then he left and he was in the elevator and he was texting, texting, and then deleting, texting. Then Delaney, and then his head was against the elevator wall, and then he's like, we didn't even kiss. It's like, shane, these are the pangs of a relationship. It hurts when. When they just go for your genitalia and don't even kiss you on the mouth. But there's, like, so much awkward tension and nerves and, like, you don't trust yourself. And I think they captured that so well. Like, I. I feel like the progression from, like, the beginning of dating to the end to falling in love was just, like, so good. And I didn't expect it, really. But it's like, in the beginning, like, everything comes out weird. And then all of a sudden, you find yourself making. Making a bruschetta for a day date when you're gonna have sex for the first time, but you're really nervous and you're blushing, but the brushetta is so good, it makes you want to take your clothes off. Me and the bruschetta and Robbie. This was our second date. What I would do kind of to go back there, but it's like it always still feels new. But anyways, I. I brought over. I brought over ingredients to. For the bruschetta, and she died over the tomato spread. And while I was cutting those little mottos, I was. I was shy and I was nervous, and she just said it out loud. She's like, I'm so shy right now. Like, I'm so nervous. Are you nervous? But you can never tell when she's shy or nervous because she overcompensates with, like, a lot of words. And you always think she's fine. And I'm like, if this is shy and nervous, like now, I don't know if I can. What. What's it like when she's not. Boy, do I know. But I'm the opposite. Like, I. I talk less. I feel. Yeah. And I'm just kind of coy. But I was like, I'm nervous too and I really have butterflies. And then we laid in bed all day after the bruschetta, holding in our farts and exploring each other naked, and we didn't even have sex. Isn't this just so cute and lesbian of us? Oh, God. But like Shane and Ilya, they would like cuddle with. I don't even know how they cuddled because they're just such big beasts, but they cuddled and put their like heads on each other and Shane, I feel like, was always the little spoon and putting his head. And then Ilya would. And they'd kiss each other on the forehead and be so lovey dovey. And it was like I wasn't sure that I was gonna buy a story about like such passion and true love between gay men before I watched it. But riddle me reformed homophobic, because I believe it, all right? And we love to see it. They're like always giving each other the eyes and like, teasing each other and like playing around. I loved at the cottage when Ilya was like, no, I need a king bed. Well, they're all king beds. Shane says, no, but I need an ensuite. And Shane was like, well, there's only one with an ensuite. My bedroom. And we are gonna get to the cottage obviously, but before we get there, I want to be clear, I don't give a about the other storyline with the two. Did two other hockey players with the smoothie addicted one who won the Stanley Cup. It just like, it wasn't believable. They had no chemistry. Like the, the closeted gay hockey player, I don't even know his name, just like kidnapped the smoothie worker and wouldn't let him leave his apartment. This is giving lesbian, not gay. And I'm sorry, but am I the only one thinking of the huge financial discrepancy? You've known each other for two weeks and now you want to support him and this is the guy you're going to come out with on the ice in a public manner? And I just, I'm sorry, I didn't think the twinkie winky was just like that believable. There was just something I just like, wasn't quite buying because why didn't you go home to see your dad in like three weeks? You live down the street, he's gone at practice. Go see your dad. Like, I get it. It was just a connector storyline for Shane and Ilya to like, find the courage maybe and hopefully help them come out and like their faces when they were texting each other and saw it on screen, was worth it. But it's like they wasted a whole episode of mine over the smoothie obsessed runner who, like, I'm not even buying your relationship. I'm sorry. It seemed performative, like he just wanted to be the first gay man to come out and like he had enough gall or arrogance to do it. And I missed. I missed Shane and Ilia the whole episode until the end. I'm like, where are these freak elites with their perfect puckers?
- [42:48]
Co-Host or Guest
Okay,
- [42:53]
Main Podcast Host
Okay, good. We're actually doing good. I gotta stretch before we get to the cottage. The denouement, the finale. I saved the cottage, like, for way last. People were like, have you gone to the cottage? Have you gone to the cottage? Have you gone to the cottage? It's like, I haven't gone to the cottage. But then I finally went to the cottage.
- [43:18]
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- [43:38]
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- [43:50]
Main Podcast Host
Okay, we've finally done it. We're at the cottage. First. I loved the directorial of it all. I thought the director was really good. I think Peter Thiel also directed it. Maybe. I don't know, I. But like every cut, at least in the beginning, it was surprising. It was something unexpected. I guess I wasn't like expecting the cottage to have such a progression of them, like falling deeper and deeper and deeper in love. I thought it was going to be like a little more awkward and I was just expecting something bad to happen the whole time. But it was like, like so incredibly sweet. Too sweet. Too sweet. And then it would like cut to them, like obviously having sex and then cut to them snuggling in the morning like, I didn't know they would be so sweet. Or like, I don't know. I felt like one would have have the one bed and then the other would have the other. I thought there would be like a little bit more rift. And then the campfire scene was like one of my favorites. It cut to the campfire scene and then like Ilya line on Shane's lap. And Ilya was like, what the. Do we just stare at it. And Shane was like, yeah. And then like, after a while, you know, Shane was like, do you want to go in? And Ilya was like, no. Laying on his lap. I'm like, oh, my God. The one scene that I was like, okay, clearly they're running out of ideas is when they had coffee on the stone. I'm not having my morning coffee on a big rock. I'm having it on a cushy something little under my butt. I need a refill halfway, and I need an immediate snack. So the coffee on the stone just isn't going to work, you know, for me with the sharing a blanket. It's like, I need my own blanket. We're freezing out here. But I get it, I get it. It's filler, it's sweet, it's loving. And it's like, I thought it was, you know, so relatable, like them cooking together and deciding what they want to eat. Do you want leftover pasta or hot dogs? Hot dog, dogs. Ilya says, obviously. And it was just like, this is what you do on couples vacay. It's like, what do you want to do today? What do you want to eat? I'll cook for you. And the storyline was, like, really leaning into, like, getting comfortable and almost the, like, mundane banalities of a relationship that are so special. Especially when you, like, first make the transition after you're in, like, the lusting phase to the real relationship phase. Like, they did that so well. When Rosie said I love you. Very unexpected. Very unexpected for me, I didn't see that coming at all. And I think it hit me by such surprise. I didn't know what to say. And obviously Shane said, I love you too. Like, I'm sure he's been waiting his whole life to say that. But when, you know, when the person you love says I love you for the first time, it's just something you'll never forget. Like when Robbie told me she loved me two weeks in, and I was like, I need a little time. And she was like, I deserve to know. I know you love me. Me even. That was the best feeling in the whole world. And, like, finally we're seeing this really emotionally available side of Rosie. Girls, don't get your hopes up. This is a TV show and is like, when I was watching it, this is me. Creepy smile. This is me. But I loved watching Rosie go from this, like, emotionally unavailable boy only sexting via communication to, like, so down bad. And it's like, I would get so sick of sexting. Like, when boys Want to sex in the beginning. It's like. But I'm surprised that they didn't incorporate more nudes into the series because I know these gay men are dying to use up all their G's for that close up anaconda pic and nudes of their freshly worked out traps. So, Peter Thiel, you robbed us of the nudes. Please, season two. But Rosie goes from like, funny irreverent to like, so needy. And I just love when the tides change. I feel like that's me. Like, I definitely have a wall up. In the beginning, I pretend I don't care. And now I stare at Robbie's phone when she's texting John Mayer. But Rosie gets jealous. Like, every time Shane's phone rings, I'm like, same. Why do you have so many friends, babe? Oh, it's your accountant John who wears spiky hair like from the eighth grade. But why are you talking to him like he's your friend? I thought, I'm your only friend. And like this scene, Oh, I couldn't take it. I couldn't take it. The scene where Rosie is like teasing Shane when he was on the phone with his friend because he was so jealous and just couldn't take the attention not being on him. I'm like, ugh, I get it. And Shane kept muting when he was talking to his friend that obviously doesn't know know like, that he's gay to be like, what are you doing? And then they made the rules of, like, giving a blow job while he was still on the phone and muting on and off and on and off. At one point, you're not gonna hit the mute button. And then your friend's gonna find out. This is what I thought was gonna happen. I'm like, he's not gonna hit the mute. He's gonna accidentally not hit the mute. And then chaos ensues. But no, wrong. Everything works out. And like, Shane, get off the phone sooner. The whole time I was like, get off the ph. There's an emergency guy on the other line. It's carbon monoxide. Oh, fuck, I forgot to water the peonies. It's an emergency. My dad will kill me. I have diarrhea from all the butt sex I've been having. But I guess it was the kinky of it all. And the gay men love to play with fire. Not me. And now, now, ladies and ladies, this is the part you're not gonna like. I didn't like the end. I didn't like it. Loved the cottage. I didn't like the end, give me pain, give me conflicted feelings, give me hardship and desperation. Give me tragedy, the kind I was born into. Said mommy, how come everything gets to work out for them? I would like to feel something and this ain't it. I want to feel something heartbreaking. I want to feel something bad that overtakes me and my soul and my veins and my fingers and my head. I wanted more heartbreak. I wanted more heartbreak. I wanted more feelings. I just don't feel much and I need to be devastated over something that I cannot stop thinking about. Like R.E. burton Irving, I couldn't stop thinking about for days. But instead, everything was honky dory. It was too mushy. It was too mushy at the end with the parents and, oh, now Ilya, Shane's boyfriend, the best thing to ever happen. They. They make an official boyfriend girlfriend in front of the parents, and the parents are somehow okay with it, and Shane breaks down in front of them instead of being like, oh, this is just the phase, like the rest of us have to do. Like, like, how would he. Did rivalry have been different in the end if Ilya didn't go with Shane? When Ilya was like, do you want me to go with you? I was like, obviously. Because the second the parents see that he's fucking the hottest gay, the hottest other gay hockey player who's also closeted in the NHL, all is good. All is fine. What if he brought home an uggo? This would have had a different ending. This is what I want to see.
- [51:36]
Co-Host or Guest
He would have.
- [51:36]
Main Podcast Host
Shane would have been damned to hell, immediately loses all his endorsements, all his sponsorship. The mom wouldn't care about the Rolex, but it's like, obviously the parents are okay with it because, like, Ilya's so successful and so is Shane. Because we, like, deify athletes and money and fame. There's nothing more important. Now we don't care if you're gay because you're bringing home the dollar bill and your boyfriend's really hot and gay going through the same thing. But it's like when the dad catches them kissing at the cottage and then he scurries away faster than you can say the word enema. So I thought he was running away from the conversation because why wouldn't he just kind of stay and be like, whoa, I'm in shock. Let's talk about it, be upset, experience his feelings. But instead he just scurries. So I thought he, like, wasn't ever going to talk to Shane again, but instead it was like, fine, and he welcomed the gay son with open arms and didn't even ask real questions. Like, how long have you guys been together? No way. Not since Ricky year. Here's spaghetti and a glass of wine. Kumbaya. Everything's fine. He just shattered my dreams of having a straight son, marrying a beautiful wife. And of course he has a perfect mom. Shane, who's sobbing and making it about herself. Like, I'm so sorry you couldn't tell me. I'm the victim. I want to be the best mom for you and it's all my fault. It's not all your fault. They play hockey. They don't know what to do. It's societal. There's no gay hockey players. I think even, like now there's really no gay hockey players. But. And then she immediately transitions into being his publicist and manager and looking for ways to go exploit them. It's like. It's just not what I was hoping for. I was. I was hoping for more trauma. I need to go to bed in despair. I need to be a sad mommy. I need this to keep me up for weeks. Why couldn't have they been together? But instead they're together? No big. But you know what? There's hope for season two and heartbreak.
- [53:50]
Co-Host or Guest
I can't wait.
- [53:51]
Main Podcast Host
And you know what? I think that's it for today. See you next time. I'm long winded.
- [53:59]
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- [54:27]
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Main Podcast Host
Are you my dad now? No.
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- [54:47]
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