← Long Winded with Gabby Windey
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- [00:01]
Gabby Windy
The following podcast is a Dear media production and welcome back to another episode of Long Winded. Thank you for coming back week after week, time after time. There could be more of you to come back time after time. But you know what? That's okay, because I'll take the loyal ones and I'll take the unloyal ones. You guys know how I am. Not picky, not selective. Let's get it. Let's start. Do you hear the sound of refreshness recording on a Monday? I need this on a Monday. And the flavors. The flavors really go crazy in your mouth. It's one of those things that make you salivate. Like, you look at it and you're like, oh, my parietal glands are activating. That's the glands that makes saliva. I think I could be totally wrong. I. I haven't referenced them in a while. Sue me. Okay, well, where do we start? Let's see. I've been listening to Justin Bieber's album and we haven't talked about it here, so it's time to talk about it. I like it. I. I like what he did with it. I like the R B. I love R B. And it was kind of like Bruno Mars. I want to say, the Strawberry and Champagne album, it reminded me a lot of that, like, 90s. I know it wasn't from Bruno Mars, but, like, I feel like it's the same kind of feel. Bruno Mars albums. You guys know what I'm talking about. It's like something Versace on the floor. Like that. It was. It was all kind of like that. I will say. I will say I have a couple favorite songs. One is. Is uconn. That one's pretty popular. I like the beat. And I like his use of auto tune. I do. We know he's talented. He has nothing to prove. And you're allowed to be untalented with nothing to prove. If you'd like to create and express yourself, who am I to judge what kind of artist you are or your medium? Perhaps four for the enjoyment of art really depends on the consumer. And I fuck with it. And I like how he did it. He's like, yeah, you know what? I don't give a what people think about my usage of auto tune. Yeah, I don't need it, but it doesn't mean I don't want to play around. Look at T pain and all of his wild success. You think that wasn't auto tuned? Well, you got to tune up your three ear bones that seem to be off in their vibrations. But I Do want to. I do. My favorite. Are the lyrics up already? I. My. My favorite is Sweet Spot, probably. It's right up my alley. And I think Sexy Red's verse is really incredible. There goes off. The lyrics are, I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it word for word. And I'm not even being funny. I think she's an example of not to put women in a box. She is ready for a boyfriend. She's falling in love in a week, much like a lesbian. But she also wants her words, not mine. Dick in her ass. Like, two things can't exist, you know, Just because I want a committed relationship doesn't mean that I don't want to be adventurous in bed. In fact, I might be more adventurous in bed if I feel safe in my committed relationship. And I think that's what she's speaking to. Let's see here. She goes, well, maybe I'll just read you my favorite parts. She goes, yeah, bae, I'm feeling you, and I can tell you are feeling me. Me and him were both in love, and it hasn't even been a week. Is that a crime to know when you're in love with somebody? It took Robbie and I maybe two weeks, maybe me a month, but it was because I was scared. I really have still open and sore wounds that were working both to heal, but we were basically in love in a week. I call. I call him when I need some dick. Because me and him were both freaks. Exactly. At first, I was shy, but I'm a dog when. When I'm in them sheets. Literally give us a second to warm up. But when I really feel safe with you, that's my G spot. He make my coochie pop. I'm a changed woman. Used to be a thought thought. That's my boyfriend. I love him a lot. We shouldn't have to be timid in expressing our feelings that we love our significant other. I had a friend over the other day. I'm making friends, and she was like, yeah, and you get it. You get being in love with, you know, like, your partner. It's like, yeah, when you're in a good relationship, it's kind of all you want to do. Which is why, like, I. I haven't been making many friends, but I understand. I need to reach out. But it's like, well, Robbie's home this week, so I guess it'll have to wait till next week. They actually just, like, like being around her. And then she goes, I love him a lot. Fucked him in A Corvette. We're in a drop top I ain't no lame ass bitch no Nobody thinks you are sexy Red I'm a freaky bop Put that dick in my ass make my heart stop. Literally. Literally. And she's probably not even lying because I'm sure there's some vagal response that occurs when you do get a dick in your ass. I wouldn't know because you guys know I don't like that sort of thing. But it has to affect your somatics as to make your heart skip a beat. Robbie. Sorry, there's someone here again. What am I supposed to do? Robbie's always, like, asking to put things, you know, up my ass in a very respectful, consensual way. And I'm always like, respectfully, no, I'm not interested. And she's like, can I lick it? And I'm like, I don't know. I just can't get. I can't get out of the space of what. Of what its full range of possibilities are. So I'm like, maybe just the tip of the tongue, but that's it in a pinky finger and wash under the nail. We all have hair. Or do we take a good look at yourself in the mirror? And sometimes we have hair where we don't want it. Me under my nose, into my mustache. Can I reallocate it to my head? I don't know. But are you tired of hair thinning and loss? Is your confidence being impacted by the health of your hair? I mean, it does. It does. A full head of hair does a lot for our confidence, men and women alike. I know the men are listening. And maybe some of you cannot afford to go to Turkey right now. But it's time to say goodbye to shedding in clumps of hair in the shower. Thanks to Hair Lavie Clinical by Live Consc Hair Lavie Clinical is different from every other hair growth supplement because it's a high potency multivitamin with ingredients like us, plus saw, palmetto and tocogia. It already sounds good for the hair. Just rolling off the tongue. Hair La Vie Clinical balances dht. Dihydrotestosterone. That's right, women, we have testosterone too. I guess the dihydro kind levels, it balances these levels for improved hair retention and fullness. Live Conscious has helped over 1 million women achieve their health goals. Okay, I guess it's just not about. I guess it's not about the men. Men, you still have to go to Turkey. See ya. Visit liveconscious.com today and make the switch to a hair vitamin that actually works. Use code Long winded. This podcast is brought to you by Rula. Telehealth has made mental health care more convenient and accessible for millions of people. I feel like we're all doing therapy over zoom these days because thank God it cuts like an hour at least out of our allotted time. We have the day. And speaking from someone who has depression, I don't have a lot of hours, not as many as you may think because I have to sleep. But there's still challenges like finding a suitable therapist, scheduling appointments and the expensive out of pocket costs still keep many from getting the care that they need. So Rula's got you covered. They take most major insurance plans and the average copay is only $15 per cent session. You can now get the quality care you need when you need it at a price you can afford. This is something good for our mental health. Finally. And Rula isn't just affordable. They stick with you throughout your journey, making sure you get the best therapy and that you're making progress. With Rula, every provider is carefully vetted and chosen for their expertise. This is what we're talking about. Thousands have already trusted Rula to support them on their journey toward improved mental health and overall well being. Head on over to rula.com gabby to get started today. After you sign up, they ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent. You go to r u l a.com/gabby and take the first step towards better mental health today. You deserve quality care from someone who cares. Well, I think that was some housekeeping at first. So why don't we get into the meat of things? I went to a yoga class. Oh my God. Oh, it's ups. It's always my fault anyway. Busy day of delivering. Okay, let's. Let's get in. Let's get into the meat of things. I went to a yoga class. I had to get my lazy ass up and do some exercise. That's what people love telling other depressed people. You have got to exercise. You can't tell a depressed person that. Not when they're not. When they're in their low. You want me to exercise? I've barely brushed all of my 30 something teeth if that's how many I have, because I cannot find the energy. I can. I can't even use my forearm and I have an electric toothbrush and that's already too much expenditure of energy. I'm depressed and nobody in the house addresses it. I Just turn my head away when speaking to my significant other, Robby. And you want me to drive 20 minutes, unveil my yoga mat, wherever it is, somewhere in the pantry. I don't know why it's kept where the food's kept, but that's where it is. Face other people who are also going into the yoga studio, checking in. Oh, come on. Just give me an iPad. I don't want to say hello, but finally I did it. And you know what? I do like that kind of exercise because it seems like I like to move your body like that. You know, I was a dancer. Kind of current too, I would say I still have the moves, but yeah, no, I do like it, but you know what I mean. I don't like the community. There it is. I'll say it for. For an already passive person to endure a very passive culture. I want permission to be angry. My therapist says it's actually okay to be angry. And I think women need to be told that more. So, like, six breaths isn't going to. Six breaths and coming into my body isn't going to cure all of my overwhelmedness that I'm going to experience in the day. She's like, the next time you feel overwhelmed, just take a. Just take a long. Well, it's actually 12 count because you have to breathe in for six and then out for six or seven or eight and then move it into your body. Feel it into your body. That's not going to cut it. When I get the email that broke the camel's back. An email that reads, we would like an email that reads, the brand would like to schedule a zoom to make sure you understand the concept. I understand the concept. It's shampoo. You put it here to clean there. I get the concept. I don't need to go on a zoom. Share my screen, download the PDF. I can't read the writing because it's all on one page. And you have to zoom. You have to zoom. You have to zoom. And I understand. It's shampoo poo. In my prior life as a nurse for eight years, as you know, I had to understand a lot of concepts. One being elevating a 600lb patient in the air as some kind of an acrobatic performer. Allah Cirque du Soleil, the Zuma kind. I think that's the one in Vegas. Maybe underwater. We'd have to levitate this patient up in the air. It took maybe four or five of us a concept. Put them in a swing of sorts so they levitate over the bed as to clean their asshole so they don't get a bed sore which would become infected. And so as more humans, we do not have to sit in a pile of while they're on a breathing tube and dialysis and probably have a drip of norepinephrine. That is a concept. I understand the shampoo when I get the dreaded email that will break the back. A six count breath isn't going to work. I need at least a 20 foot pace. 10 this way, 10 this way times five. Five times a parliament and a scroll of a tick tock. I need to actually get out of my body. I have to decompress. Maybe that, maybe, maybe for a specific kind of person, a part of the yogi community with webbed fingers. Webbed fingers and strong fingertips that could crush the strongest bone of your body. Yes, the femur, not your boner. With a little pinch, the same pinch that you use to season your dressing with a little salt. And then this yoga instructor could balance on one fingertip as she puts her whole body upside down in a handstand. This breath that will help with your overwhelmedness is suitable for this kind of person. Not for me. Imagine bringing home this way of being, this theory and, and introducing it to Robby, who's currently, who has currently made her round of phone calls to her brothers Shmuli, Schneider and Shalom, screaming at each other for 15 to 20 minutes. And I'm like, no baby, no baby. Just take a six count breath and feel that fire in your belly. And as you breathe out, envision a fire extinguisher, a hose to put out the fire. She's like, what fire? We were just coordinating our next trip to see Ma. Well, it sounded like two countries at war with each other. That had a lot to figure out and the tensions were getting high. She's like, no, we were just discussing Schneer's new job. So it doesn't work. It doesn't work in all communities. And I have one, I am going to yoga tonight, by the way. So it's not enough to keep me away. And I have one other gripe. I have one other gripe. In the yoga community where you go to take classes, there should, there should at least be the option for women only classes. Not only because I'm a staunch misandrist and I just. True. I just do not like being in the presence of men, especially in tight yoga pants when I'm upside down and could fart or queef at any second. I'd like to be in the Presence of my own people who will love and accept me. Not that I give a fuck what they think. But. But I have to. I have to be worried. Not that they won't like it, but in case they in fact enjoy it. Now I'm not free to do any kind of breathing. My breathing is stifled for fear of what this sick monster is thinking about my downward dog queef. So you have to take a spot in the back. So there should at least be an option of a women. There should be. Like this is a co ed class. This is a women only class. And I bet the co ed class would not fill up. Why are we still so maybe we're still protecting men's feelings. Well, we got to leave that at the door. Namaste. Outside of the door. Okay, we get it. There were this. This is pre policy change. So there were men in my class. And the one I thought was going to be a problem over here to the left actually wasn't. It was the one in. In. In my peripheral diagonal to the right. He was breathing so heavy like he had something to prove. We all have a set of lungs and alveoli that are working in some kind of a functional capacity. Assuming none of us have bronchitis or are at the tail end. Why are you breathing so heavy? As a man you still have to take up this much space. Metaphorically. You all. You already physically take up a lot of space here. About six two. So it's not like I can ignore your presence because you're big. You get more pay. So you're taking up more space in the financial arena. And now you just have to breathe so loud as a means to get attention. Like you don't already have enough. Like we haven't done enough for you. To the point where the yoga teacher had to passively address the situation. Now try and take a quiet breath if you can. To the class she had to address as. To not hurt his feelings. He doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve it because he needs his feelings hurt. How else is he going to learn to not be extremely obnoxious and utkatasana. This is gaslighting. I'm supposed to engage my core and tilt my pelvis all the way back into my heels in the name of meditation while he's breathing so heavy. I can't with the passiveness. Permission to freak the fuck out. Crash outs are in. There's a reason why crash outs are. And we need a form of expression. We need a safe space to get angry. Uk. But this poor teacher, she just, she just has to deal with it because she made a commitment to this yogi community and I don't know if she ever wishes that she could go back. I can't make that decision for you. I can't assume. I don't want to be presumptuous on how you feel now because she also has to try and convince us to go to some kind of a sound bath of a sitar on a Saturday night. Somebody needs to set you free. This is not liberation in the name of yoga. Maybe your mind is calm, but you're still, you still have to sell this. Nobody's going on a Saturday night. Like nobody cares about the sitar. I hate, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but this is a life that she has chosen in her path, you know? Anyways, I'm gonna see her tonight. What can you do? It's a sweet spot in a candy shop. Nami. Nami. Nami Nam. Nami Nam Nah. You guys know Nom Nom naming. She is settling in nicely to her lion's den. You know, when she's still. What gets her up in the morning is her breakfast. She gets really excited. She will brave outside of the den for. For a nibble. And do you blame her? A woman after our own heart. And. And she likes her food so much because we've got her on Smalls. Smalls is a cat food and it's protein packed recipes made with preservative free ingredients you'd find in your fridge. What can I say? Our kitty has good taste. Plus it's delivered right to your door. And that's why cats.com named Smalls their best overall cat food. And Nam prefers Smalls way more than her previous cat food. I've done a taste test and put two bowls side by side and she always goes to Smalls. So for a limited time only, because you are a long winded listener, you can get 60% off your first smalls order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com gabbywindy that's 60% off when you head to smalls.coming gabbywindy plus free shipping again that smalls.com gabbywindY Project Runway is back in dramatic fashion. And the icon Heidi Klum returns to the mother of all fashion shows, now on freeform, Hulu and Disney. Plus how exciting. Project Runway is a place where dreams can come true. And as you know, in fashion, one day you're in and the next day you're out. Out with the baby in the bath. Water. World renowned fashion designer Christian Siriano will mentor 12 designers in the ultimate competition of creativity and passion. Fan favorite judge Nina Garcia is not easy to please. And new judge La Roach will be your new obsession at the Runway show. The designers better bring their best in front of law or he's gonna let them know like only he can. You know, as they say, fashion favors the bold. So who will rule the Runway? Your favorite fashion competition show is back the way it was meant to be. We missed you, Heidi. Project Runway July 31st on Freeform stream on Hulu and Disney Plus. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I feel like we talked about the Idaho murders a little bit last night, but now there's an update. He's been sentenced to four life sentences. Of course he is out of the death penalty because he pled guilty. Because it's on his own terms. We don't get the chance. Cuz now after finding out the more information that he stabbed Zanna over 50 times and others like 20 to 30. This, this, he cannot even be roaming in prison. Except I hope that somebody, somebody takes it upon themselves to do the job for us. I guess there was some kind of a report from a prisoner that was like I would kill him myself, but I'm afraid of the repercussions. But he is a weird guy to say the least. And I hope someone threatens him with their big domino dick. Do you know what a domino dick is? Allow me to enlighten you again. Coming from my experience as a nurse, the concept this, we would get prisoners as patients and you know, you have to clean their fully catheter, they're sedated, they can't do this kind of hygiene thing to themselves. And they have a very visible domino that they have performed surgery themselves in prison. They have acquired some sort of a scalpel or something sharp on the skin of their shaft, peel it back, put a domino in, put the skin back and suture it up with whatever kind of a suture they have in prison. Some, some of these jobs were actually really well done. They healed quite nicely as to make their dick bigger like a penis pump for you know, you know what happens for putting it up an enemy's butt to really make it hurt. So I hope he gets threatened with it. It's like, it's like a woman would never, you know, we're just, we're aware we would never do the domino dick. Never perform surgery on honestly such a sensitive region of the body because we'd be like, the risk of infection is too high. I just can't do that. The. The cost does not outweigh the benefit. But men are like, take. Leave it to us and. And back to the back. Sorry for the detour back to the Idaho murders. It's like, it is, it's, you know, the victims end up being nameless because we only remember the serial killer. Granted, there are four first and last names to remember. It's not a light load, but we have to make a concerted effort to try. This man doesn't deserve an ounce of our attention. Or calling him by name as sister Kaylee so eloquently and articulated when articulately said in her victim impact statement. If you guys haven't seen it, you have to go watch. It's really incredible. I mean, she had the attention of every single person in that room. It was really great. In his, like, I was watching these youtubes on this doctor. I don't know, I think he's some kind of a psychiatrist who like, can read his, like breaking down the body language. Obviously sociopathic. This guy is a true sociopath and a loser is what Kaylee goes on to say. And we will get into that. But his body language during all this, he has that stare which is like, just so creepy and really inhumane and like, he doesn't even. Yeah, he really just looks not human. He'll make like, subtle movements, like, but. But the psychiatrist said that it's not like, you know, he would shrug his shoulders forward, but not as a hunch and shame. It would be a small movement which is actually the body getting excited. When anybody would read like their victim impact statements and say, and, you know, express like any kind of sadness or hurt, like, he gets off on that. And that's how he would get excited. And, but he doesn't, he doesn't really move a lot. But one time he really shifted in Kaylee's. I mean, she opens up, she's like, sit up straight when I talk to you. And I'm like, you're in the back of the courtroom. Go, Kaylee. She's setting the tone and she kind of, you know, she starts it. She goes on to say, like, like, I've. I've spent my life protecting them and I'm not gonna start, you know, stop now. They wouldn't want more victimization. I need to fight for them. Like, you're not going to see a tear. Which I would be a blubbering mess. But. But like, she kind of got it. That is what he wants. He wants to see, you know, pain and hurt. And that's how he gets off about, like, having some kind of power over people. But she said she's gonna read things that she's written down on her phone that she's thought about from when it happened up until now. She's like, it doesn't matter how discombobulated or if it doesn't make sense. I'm gon you out almost stream of consciousness. And you see him do the most movement he's done there. He like, shifts around his chair. He's kind of. You can tell he's like getting excited. He looked around for once, you know, he was really just stone cold. He hasn't said anything throughout the entire case. Like, literally non verbal. And in his muteness stir disgusting thoughts of killing people. But he starts to get excited because I think he thinks she is going to again express, like, how much he's hurt her, what she's gone through, what kind of pain she's endured. But instead she flips his script and she roasts them like, incredible. In RuPaul's words, the library was open. It was wide open. There was not one lock on the door. And she read him. She's like, the only thing you're worse at than getting away with murder is rapping. Like, I'm glad you went there because that's so embarrassing. You think you're Eminem? No, you're ugly. She just laid into him as she should. She's like, you're ugly. Societal outcast. Loser ugly again, wannabe. She was like, your ego cannot see what you actually are. But I'm gonna tell you, you're a wannabe. Like, literally, actually. He thinks he's so deep and dark and mysterious, but he's nothing but insecure. It's loud and clear in your face. And she goes on to address where his eyebrows went, literally. She's like, when did you start shaving your eyebrows? Or did you pluck them out out of stress? You don't get to be stressed after what you've done to these children, these young adults who had their whole life in front of them. Like, it's like, I thought we were done with this serial killer stuff, but she did such a good job. You guys have to watch it. He's. He's beyond pathetic. And she let him know. And I'm glad she did, because somebody's got to. And he's not going to fit in in prison either. You act like this because nobody likes you in the world. Well, maybe you should do some exploration instead of literally stabbing people to death. That's not going to get anyone to like you. You're not going to go to prison to be around your peers. You're a sociopath and that doesn't fit in anywhere. Okay, well, his name will never come out of my mouth again. And I'm going to go on to learn all the first and last names. Since I've been home now for an extended period of time, I have been getting better about my skin care. And you know what? You know what I wish I knew sooner is that satin is bad for you. But Blissey's is silk and it's an incredible game changer. It's something you could passively do because we don't always. I don't always need like an active regimen. One more serum. Are you kidding me? I can't do it. Blissey is a silk pillowcase and honestly, it does all the work. While you sleep, you'll see less fine lines and healthier hair in weeks. It was voted the best gift of the year of 2024 and we're about to make it 2025. Silk Pillowcases by Blissey have anti aging properties, eliminates frizz, preserves hairstyles and protects color treated hair. Who has the time to sit in that hair chair for three to four hours plus a blow dry? Blissey's pillowcases are dermatologists tested and recommended. Clinically proven to not clog pores, unlike cotton. Get off those cotton pillowcases. What are we, plebs? So because you're a listener, Blissey is offering 60 nights risk free, plus an additional 30% off when you shop@blissey.com GabbyWindy Pod that's B L I S S Y.com GabbyWindy Pod and use code Gabby Windy Pod to Get an additional 30%. Your skin and hair will thank you.
- [37:08]
Josh Peck
Hey, I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Soffer. And we're the good guys. On our show every week we talk about buzzy pop culture stories, maybe answer a couple of your voicemails and go into a moment of the week that makes you say, what are you nuts? And I swear it's so much better than this promo. Anyway, there's a lot of guys out there, but we're the good ones. Stream good guys every Monday wherever you get your podcasts, Apple, Spotify, anywhere. You know what? Don't listen.
- [37:38]
Gabby Windy
Okay, Some other news that I'm, that I'm kind of late to address is the CEO affair. I mean, the, the ex wife is apparently going to get like 20 to 70 million dollars a small margin, I know. As reported by the Post, very credible. Anyway, she's gonna get a lot of money, and she's been set free. She doesn't want to be with an audacious cheater who's gonna spend all of their retirement on Coldplay concerts for his mistress. So I feel like her life is just beginning. Especially at that age. Women learn. We're like, actually, I don't. I don't want to fuck with men anymore. Not even because I'm sad, but I realize they're just bringing me down. She's been set free. Being with a cheater or around a cheater is just like low vibrations, and we need to energize her. Pump it up. Which I have no doubt this divorce is going to do. It's going to. It's. It's going to make her glow from the inside out. Her skin is going to change. I promise you that. And sometimes we wonder, is there God? And that night, God was the Jumbotron. This is karma. You're so brave and amoral in your cheating that in a very public place, you're gonna bump and grind at a concert with your mistress. You're not afraid at all. What happened to a. What happened to a hotel room? I mean, order some room service. Keep it down, keep it quiet. Have you learned nothing from your superiors? No, because he's unabashed. He's unashamed. He thinks that he's going to get away with everything because he's a CEO, you know, I told you so. The hips sway. The mistress starts to sway the head of hr, and it was all yellow. She circles her hips and puts it back. And then the Jumbotron scans Mayday. Mayday. And it was all, Mayday. Now it's all, hello, this is Andy Byron. Well, I resigned, actually. No, I wasn't fired. Yes, from Astronomer. It's not Astronomers. You have to drop the S. You know when. You know when you have, like, a mom that's not from here? My mom's Mexican, and she put an S on everything. She's like, do you want to go to targets? Do we need anything from Walmart's today? They just add an S to absolutely everything that doesn't have an S. And even if it does have an S, then it'll be, come on, let's go to Paylesses. You need back to school shoes. The Adidas with four stripes. That's what we can afford. And that was that. But this is Andy Byron, you know. Hello. Hello. No, it's just Astronomer. Yes, yes, no, actually, I resigned. I wasn't fired. And I need you to liquidate the assets, freeze the accounts, face, tune the bank statements. I need my money. She's coming for my money. He's freaking out. He's freaking out. But also, it's like they're going to. Both of them are going to have jobs in no time. There's like, no repercussions for these kinds of people. We all saw Baby Girl. There was no stakes in that whole movie. She was never at risk of losing her job, never at risk of losing her husband. She's just gonna keep going with her little affair. This is what's gonna happen with them. I don't know if they'll. I don't know if they'll stay together. That's honestly the least that they could do causing this much upset in the family. I don't. I don't know if people are really invested in this. I'm like medium invested. At first I was like, ugh, who cares? And then I'm like, this is real. So, yeah, I'd like to check back in a year and see if they're still attending Coldplay concerts. Maybe next time they can ask to be put on the jumbotron because they'll be. They won't have anything to hide. It won't. Their relationship doesn't have to be in the dark since it was originally bit built on, you know, grounds of infidelity. But. But who knows? It is. It could be. It's like maybe it's just one of those viral moments that come and go so fast. But do you guys. You want to know one that will never escape my mind is it happened like two years ago that that, like, college kid jumped off some kind of a college cruise and was immediately eaten by a shark. Do you guys remember that? I'll never forget it. I'll never forget it. And then I revisited it last night. You really. You see him swim and then you see him just disappear. He's in the frame swimming. He's like, whatever. Just got his boxers on. It's nighttime. It's a stark contrast. He's swimming away and then he's abruptly taken underwater. There's something with the fin that's coming after him. And apparently that part of the sea is shark infested. And then his friends who convinced him to jump. Oh, it's a dare. Are like, grab the buoy. Grab the. The buoy is not going to do anything for you. The buoy isn't going to save you. Grab the buoy. Grab the buoy. The buoy cannot do anything for your stupidity. Not that I'm saying he deserved it, because he's dumb. You said you're thinking that that's what year is going your mind. But you can't always save stupidity from a shark attack. Okay? And I know we talked a little bit about the Epcem files last. Oh, they've disappeared. Poof, be gone. But obviously it's all anyone's talking about right now. So it's like, okay, now. Now I'm really sketched out. I'm not only sketched out by Trump's erratic behavior. That's screaming guilty. I'm guilty. It's making you look incredibly guilty. Chill, chill. Take a breath. Figure out a strategy. We know we're never going to see the files. I don't know how. All of these journalists, they just must, like, love hearing themselves, doc. They're like, if you do this and this and subpoena this and ask this question, then this, and we're gonna get the files. It's like, you know, we're not gonna get the files. You just like to. You don' have much else to do. You like to play out different kinds of scenarios, like, go down different pathways, because this is interesting to you, but we're never going to actually get the files. I think you should lead with that. And I really forgot where. How I started anyways, because I just took a detour. Oh, I don't know. Oh, that's what I was going to say. So now it's like, it's so loud in our face. We thought everything else was a distraction from this, but now it seems this is the distraction. What are you distracting me from? The distraction is becoming the distracted jazz. It. It's all. So what's underneath this? What's happening in Alligator Alcatraz? It's like, we buy the distraction so much because it seems like they're all equally as dark as what lies beneath, as what we should be garnering all of our attention to. So I don't know how it can get any darker, but that's where my head's at. I'm on to you. I don't know what it is. Hopefully we'll find out, but meanwhile, I'm going to keep talking about the distraction because what else is there to do? Some people are like, well, there's no proof that Trump had proclivities. We knew. We know he's into women, but he likes them. He's into show girls. He's. There's no proof that he's ever into miners. It's like, what do you think he's acting like this for? One, how do you prove it? Two, what do you think he's acting like this for? Three, just by sheer anecdotal data, I think you can jump to conclusions. We know he has proclivities with numerous women. He was doing all that beauty pageant stuff. And just by numbers. It's like John Mayer admitted himself that he slept with over 300 women. Obviously by numbers, by ratio, by science, by math. One of them, one of them has to be a minor, even 18, maybe on an 18th birthday, which is sick. And I know what you're doing. John Mayer isn't carding everyone before they go stuck on his thing. I just don't think he has a process of due diligence. I don't think Trump's carding everyone and then has the discernment to turn them away after the blood flow has already left your decision making centers. Not that you had any perfusion there in the first place, but already it's going down into their little head. They're not turning people away, turning women away based on just a number. They'll say on the driver's license. Oh, the year. Just a number. Disgusting, Perverse. So don't, don't even. That's not helping you at all. And then Pam Bondi. Did I, I don't think I already said this, but I've been thinking a lot about it. But then the Pam Bondi's like, missing minute now it's like there's missing three minutes from the tape the night Epstein, quote, unquote, committed suicide. She's like, no, don't worry. Like, you know, the tape stops at 23:59 and restarts at OOO. Like that's just the missing minute. I'm like, oh, obviously the Mayans probably miscalculated a little bit. Like it's actually crazy, the invention of time and that how you could do the exact division. Think of the 24 hours divided by the 60 minutes divided by another 60 seconds. And each day, if you put all of these things together, it's going to be the same time of every day and nothing ever. I'm like, obviously there's going to be a missing minute. There's room for air. How would I know? I'm asleep at midnight. I'm not watching the clock. That wouldn't clock to me. Of course it's the missing minute. And then I woke up. You idiot. Stupid. I am. The dumb constituents that they think we all are I'm like, oh, actually, you really did pull one over on me. But now I'm back, and there is this interview, which you guys should also watch if you're at all interested in whatever. Who cares? I don't care. This is just what I'm doing for my day. And you come back every week to figure the fuck out what's going on in this little head. But there's this interview on Breaking Points where they interview, like, this prisoner who went. Who did some time at the same, like, maximum security prison that Epstein was in. So he had, like, insider knowledge about the layout of the place and the shoe. His verbiage, not mine, but as you will see, I have adopted it as my own. The shoe. He's like, there's no way. There wasn't any less than three cameras on this shoe at any given time. It's really high profile, people. Like, he. He was in prison for, like, hacking. Like, I think, you know, he's done some serious hacking, but he's probably, like, whatever, locked up by the CIA, some kind of a whistleblower. He's really smart at a gelled, slick back, which I think suited him perfectly. And, yeah, and he was like, there's only footage of the back of the shoe. No, there's definitely cameras in the front. Again, this is maximum security, high profile, high clientele. They're definitely surveying, surveilling from all corners. They said, oh, oh, no, our cameras were down. In this kind of a place, your cameras aren't down. We know that's not happening. Yeah, I don't know. It was interesting. It was interesting. And then the shoe and, oh, also, he shed some light that I needed because I didn't really follow it super closely in. In the. In the beginning, but he's like, why would. Why would Epstein committed. Have committed suicide before his trial? Like, what? That's because Ghislaine was obviously tried and convicted, but it would be like if P. Diddy committed suicide before his trial, where she just got off, it's like, yeah, these rich people are gonna get off. He was probably gonna get off, and Ghislaine was gonna take the fall like she always would have because she's a woman, but also capable of horrible, horrible crimes, and she's about to be pardoned. She's getting out of jail for sure. Maybe to go reunite with Epstein, wherever he is. He could be living anywhere, roaming our streets. I hope to God he's not. But anyways, yeah, now, so Trump's like, One of Trump's BFFs again represents her and they're like, if you cooperate with us, then we'll pardon you. And her cooperation is going to be like, because it's on private. We don't get to see any of it. Please, please, for once, let us in. Set up a live stream on TikTok. Who cares? The whole world isn't watching. There's not blackmail on all kinds of political figures around the world that Trump needs to protect because they probably have even worse blackmail on him. The blackmail on blackmail on blackmail. I'm sure it's all fine. Go live on insta at 6pm EST. No big. So she's gonna be like, no, I don't have any knowledge of Trump being there. There's no records. And they're gonna be like, she cooperated with us and now she's pardoned and then she'll be out. So that's basically what's happening. But we do need a hero. And if Pam Bondi had any gumption and those blonde roots, she would take the patriotism upon herself. But she's a box blonde. It's all fake. There's no heroic measures hiding in the tease of her bump it. She doesn't have it in her. She doesn't have it in her. If she could just anonymous, anonymously leak one of the tens of thousands of files on her desk that she said she has, she could save this country single handedly. But not all heroes wear a yellow blonde hue looking too warm. Pam, you gotta cool it out. Get some ashy in there. It's not for her. It's not for her. Well, I think that's it this week on Long Winded. But thank you guys so much for coming back in again and again. I hope you have a good week. Forget everything I just said. We're all gonna go, go back to getting high, smoking weed on our balconies in Silver Lake and cycling through our moods every month. So that's just what's gonna happen for us. And I'll see you next time. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertising for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.