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The combination of T Mobile's and US cellular network footprints will enhance the T Mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk text and data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. See t mobile.com for details and welcome back ladies and gentlewomen. Aren't we all around here? I missed ya. I think we have a pretty good episode today. I'm just. I'm just going to put it out there. Not going to play Koi. There's nothing for me to be shy about. I can be honest and proud of myself when I want to. And here lies a smoothie. I'm late getting this in. I'm also late to lunch and my. My glycemic index is falling, falling, falling. And I can't think and that's called hangry and it's not good for anybody. That's called autophagy. Auto faggy. You can look it up. Well, honestly. Thank God I waited. Sorry, Lunar. The Met gala was last night, so I think we should do a quick recap. Honestly, it's hard to say and I don't want to be a total. So that's all I'm gonna say. I think. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I would never not share my opinion at the risk of you all getting mad at me and disagreeing. But I don't care because that's what the free world is about. Let's have a conversation. Let's all not think the same. We are not sheep Anyways. Cardi B. Have you seen Love Lies Bleeding? Have you? She looks like the other one. Not the Kristen Stewart one. She has what looks like the fake muscles. Huge shoulder muscles attached to her dress and they're on too much tea. They're on. Too much testosterone. Her face, gorgeous. Her fake muscles right in your face. The Kardashians. You're not going to want to hear this. I think they looked great. I like kind of how they all match because they had the same designer. And obviously Kris Jenner went in a moomoo. Tiana Taylor. I loved her, so I thought it was really cool. I think it's. She's constantly underrated. I know she's been getting like, a little attention with. With her looks on the red carpet, but it's like, you know, in the slides, like, it's like she's never first. She's always second. It's like, let's put her first. Hunter Schaefer. Loved it. I feel like she actually looked like the art piece that she was going for. Her makeup slay. Big shout out her makeup artist in my makeup last week. And yeah, I think they nailed it. She looked amazing. Ethereal, just like it. Do you guys know the lead singer of the Maria's Not Me, but she looked amazing. She did the fluffy, but she did the fluffy, right? It was the pink fluffy tool, but it was really incredible. Hudson Williams, who wants to ruin his career. Lily Rose Depp. I thought she looked amazing. Heidi Klum. She's so unserious. I want to be here, but I didn't until I. I was doing some research on Reddit. I didn't notice that her contacts her. Or it could be her real eyes. They're discon. They're looking to the right and to the left. They're looking to the east and to the west. They're seeing about a360 plus the peripherals, not just a180. I mean, there was. There was so many boots at the Met gala. Why would we ever wear boots to a black tie event? Including, but not limited to share. I mean, I feel like Cher can get away with it with an ankle above the ankle leather boot because look what she's been through. But other people have no excuse. No excuse. I mean, Anne Hathaway, she looked like a porcelain doll. She has the best skin I have ever, ever seen. Katy Perry is still in. Is still in space. She knows what works with her for her. She's going to keep hitting the same note in the same note in the same note until it's honestly too late and everybody gets sick of it and tired of it and she'll probably keep doing it. And you know what? I did like her mask. I did like the big reveal. She looked like she was about to fence. Sam Smith. I Don't know, you guys. I just don't know. And I think there was. Those were all the heavy hitters. I thought some. Some like, chase something and Emma Chamberlain and people who tried to do the real, like, painting, like the Van Gogh. I thought they turned out pretty good. I don't know. Is it. And it's like, coming from me, I feel like the Met Gala would be the hardest thing to dress forever. Because there's people like me sitting at home in their garage with the car running, hopefully getting CO2 poisoning. Just kidding. Who get to sit here and judge, but at least I'm punching up. Okay? So I don't know. I don't know. There's that. And, you know, I opted out of the Met Gala and I went to country, to Robbie's country house. And set. It's just like. It's the exact same thing that Timmy went to the playoffs game, the Knicks playoffs game inside of the Met Gala. Justin Bieber stayed home instead of the Met Gala. I also wanted to be noticeably absent from the net. The neck. The Met Gala. I can't even pronounce it. And you know what? Doing something else completely. But nobody even realized that I was missing. And so what? I wasn't invited. But if I was, this is how I would be acting, okay? And people are like, oh, it's so funny you call it the country. Because, like, people are like, what are you doing this week? And I'm like, oh, going to Robbie's country house. And they're like, it's so funny. I mean, it is, because it's like more like a cabin in the woods, but that sounds like murderous. And. And her grandpa had a country house, so that's why she wants one too. And that's why we specifically call it the country. And people are, like, pissed. The Met gal is becoming less and less exclusive. It's like saying, but let's get one more year of less exclusivity so I can be invited. But you guys, I don't know, it seems like it would be too much pressure. And then you do all this, and you do all this, and you do all this for the theme and the this, and you get the dress and it's custom made all to walk down that carpet. I guess you go into the museum afterwards, but it's like, oh, it's exhausting. And I know after I do it, if I do go for the first time, maybe I'll go once. And I know after I'll do it and never want to do it again, You know, you're going on vacation. You're going to Cabo to meet your significant other's family for the first time and you'll be spending seven days together. But you only have body cons and a thong bikini. Well, you could buy a whole new wardrobe, but who has money for that? Or you could rent stuff from Nuuly and just send it back when you're done. Nuuly is a subscription clothing rental service that lets you pick six styles every month. And you know they have some things that are parental appropriate, unlike your closet. But for just $98 a month you can rent for whatever you have going on. Dresses and fancy stuff or just everyday pieces. Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any six styles. But right now you can get $28 off your first month. When you sign up with the Gabby. Just go to n u l y.com and enter the code GABBY at signup to get 28 off your first month. That's a lot. That's n u u l y.com code GABBY for $28 off your first month. Newly subscription clothing rental. Change your clothes now. A word from our sponsors. Summer. Summer. Summer time. They're saying summertime. It's almost some. This is the time it does. This brings me nostalgia too. I was just talking about it. Summertime is what we live for. A real break from school. You remember that. But I have something to tell you. I also have something to tell you. It's important to keep young minds active. And IXL helps kids stay engaged and avoid losing progress between school years. Hello. Hello. You're going back to school. The smartest one in the class. You know what I mean? IXL is an award winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning. IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the U.S. and studies show kids who use IXL score higher on tests proven in all 50 states. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and long winded with Gabby. Windy listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com Gabby visit ixl.com Gabby to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Oh you guys. And speaking of the Met Gala, where was Sydney Sweeney? That's what I was wondering because we know she's really good friends with Jeff Bezos. He is funding her lingerie company or maybe laundering some money in the lingerie company. I feel like she would be the Last one to miss. And then I. Then I googled it and it said she needs a break from the spotlight. No, I don't think so. Never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever have we ever seen Sydney Sweeney step away from the spotlight. So I don't know. And she's from Australia. They were like, she's back. Where's her accent? I've never heard her accent. Anyways, there's some lies going on. Maybe, like, people don't like her euphoria character or something. She's getting some backlash. I don't. Maybe it's all catching up with her, but it's like, oh, come on. I hope she's okay. Like, I mean, we can have different political views, but I hope she's not, like, gonna end it all in the outback with, like, a spider or a dingo, just, like, waiting to be someone's prey. I mean, they would get a good meal out of those titties. And if I was a dingo, I would want that too, honestly. But back to Robbie's country house, you know? You know, I really used to hate it, but I am slowly beginning to love it. It's an acquired taste, I'd say. And it, like, never really felt like mine before, so I always felt like an intruder. But now I know everything about the house. I know each part of the toilet inside and out, which is very important at a house like that where the plumbing is questionable. Excuse me. And now it makes me feel right at home. So. So we went up and we got to have a lazy weekend. And Robbie wants to put. And I need my. I need to write. And I know what you might be thinking. You're like, oh, oh. And I know what I might be thinking. Does that make me sound pretentious? Pompous, Maybe a little portientious? Good, because I am. But I'm telling you, I can't really write unless I am out of the house and sitting down by 9am with the coffee. But once the clock strikes 9:30 and I'm playing with the dog food wrist deep and maybe jumping on the trampoline a little bit, I got an exercise. They say 10 minutes a day, that's all you need to drain the lymph away. It cleans the insides like a scrub brush. They say, you know, me and my lymph fluid, we're always at odds with each other. But I will spare you. I do have a vibration plate waiting for me to be assembled right after I'm done with this. So at 9:30, I'm done for. I cannot sit down and I will waste most of my day doing God knows what. I don't know, an errand or two, maybe laundry, which I never do, but I'll do anything to procrastinate, to not do riding. Maybe a vitamin shop. Maybe I'll go to Trader Joe's, haven't been there in forever. Maybe I'll go to that corner flower shop that lets you do the DIYs and build your own bouquets. Or maybe I'll pretend to answer emails all day. Or maybe I'll do anything but what I'm supposed to do. So really I do have to get out of the house. It's easier and I'm just not so tempted with watering the plants and switching around the photo frames, which Robbie hated. So she moved them all back. But you guys, I have if you think that I don't have a list of where to put things and where to move things around the house when she is out of town, you're dead wrong. And scheming and plotting and planning. Because then she comes back, she's like I love it. But if I do it while she's in the house, she thinks she's losing control. So we're in the country, surrounded by the dogs. We're outside in the thin mountain air with the 50 degree SPF and atelier and umbrella. Or I'm at the built in office or I'm at the butcher table stirring my oatmeal every seven minutes writing about my ICU days. I mean the house may sound big because I've named all these places, but it is probably under 600 square feet and the toilet doesn't always flush and sometimes you'll eat something maybe the night before that isn't sitting quite right with you. And you wake up at 6am before the sun has risen and even the dogs. And you feel a ring of fire around your anus because of the pineapple Canadian pizza you had the night before. And then you have to go outside where the dogs go. You are now a dog. You're an animal. No decency, just squatting where people may see and make eye contact with your owner. So anyways, I did get a lot done, thank God. And finally, because the process is grueling, I hate to brag and discuss my writing processes, but I will. And I revise and I revise and I revise and by the fourth revision I feel loose enough with the words that are going on. So I get high and then I do the last pass and this is the funnest pass. Because this is where I get the ideas. Mostly about different ways to use quotation marks. And maybe I'll punch it up a little bit and maybe I'll just change the formatting around. Who knows? But I do have to double check those changes in the morning to make sure they make sense. And sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. And then I get to close the tab and put it away forever and blindly send it to people and hope that it works out. And yeah, I'm doing my press about a year early, so you will be hearing about this for maybe greater than 365 days. But sorry, I'm not sorry. This will take forever. But even forever comes to an end and that end is August 1st for me. All of a sudden, where have I been? Not around the due date, I'll tell you, or even thinking about it when I may birth the child. But I just hit my third trimester and time's running out. And I hope this fetus grows all its brain and its prose and good vocabulary and good enough storytelling and all its many legs in time. That's what my pages are due. So then you have to do like the editing. I don't. I honestly don't know. I try not to think too hard about it because I can't even really think and. But I am asking you to put in your pre orders now. Maybe, hopefully I can get you a link. Naturally you get paid in advance. One advance when you start and when I sign the contract, I don't know, maybe last fall. And then you get a couple more whatever installments for while you're writing the book. So I'm like. I call my lawyers, I'm wondering about the money. Naturally I call my lawyers. There's two of them, interchangeable names. I call one and then I call the other and then I call the one and then, then I call the other and then I see who calls me back. They call me back. Hey, I just have a quick question. I was sent a DoConnect from your AI bot that works in your office that is not a real person. And she said it was for the next installment of the book. And this was a couple months ago so I assume it will be coming at any. Wondering if you have an update. No pressure. Take your time. Let me know what's in the contract. I'm not thinking about the money at all as the main votive motivation. I'm not like a dog with a freeze dried beef patty, am I? I'm not like a hot Oven to a wee child's finger, am I? I'm not like a Unabomber to an Oklahoman, am I? Okay, let me check. The lawyers say, oh, when you turn your pages in, that's the next time you're gonna see any cash. Excuse me. Excuse me. How am I supposed to keep going halfway? Come on. I need to see the money first, and then I'll do it. But now you can imagine I'm really motivated. And I have, like, I don't know, all the essays left. Just kidding. I have, like, half left. But. But anyways, back to the country house, back to our weekend. Robbie and I are tidying up. It's nighttime. We're making our way to bed. We've had a good lazy day. We're pretty exhausted, you know, like every other couple. We're laying side by side with our phones. We're giggling to each other. We're showing each other reels. We're doing a little kissy on the mouth, on the cheek. We're holding hands. It's like, I love you so much. I love these weekends alone. And it's like, no, look at this one. And then she's like, no, look at this one. And I'm like, no, this one. And then we got the giggle. And. And there's a night light that we keep on in the bathroom so we can see when we take a pish. Pish is Yiddish for piss. And the night before, it was flickering and Robbie got up and, like, fixed it. I don't know what she did. So we're. We're back to watching reels. So the light is kind of going on and off. It's kind of flickering. We ignore it. We're like, oh, it'll probably fix it by itself. Or Ravi will go in there and fix it. Kissy, kissy. Reels, reels, reels. It keeps flickering, but I couldn't tell really if it was a flicker or if it was like a shadow of a big bug being magnified by the shadow on the wall. I'm just waiting to gather all of the evidence before I make a decision on what the shadow is. So I keep watching and waiting for it to make itself clear, like if it's a flicker or if it's a bear claw or if it's a burglar or if it's the battery that it doesn't need because it's a plug in. Robbie sees it. She sees the shadow. She's like, oh, there's a huge moth. I've been watching it. I'm Like, I think it's too big for a moth. They don't really say anything. I'm gathering information internally. She cannot see and doesn't have her glasses on, so I take her with a grain of salt. The flicker was just too big. It was way too big for a moth. So I keep waiting. I keep gathering data. I wait for something to come into view or to really rear its head so we can make a decision on what it is. You know, I hope it's not a mot because they're dirty as. And it's the. And if it's like, that big, I just do not, you know, I don't want to be concerned about taking that down, but I will. Do you have a fly swatter? I'm getting ready. I'm getting ready. So Robbie, it keeps flickering. Robbie says mouth again. It flies into the room. The anaconda bird moth was making circles in our room. And we begin to scream. It's a bird. We have a bird. It's dark outside. Get the bird out. Robbie immediately puts her head under the covers. Like she's gonna be any help. And she's screaming from under the covers. She pokes. She is the masc lesbian in this relationship. She is supposed to be the man. She puts her head and her whole body under the covers. She pokes her head out just for a second in desperation. You gotta get it, lovey. No, you gotta get it, lovey. What about, you gotta get it, lovey? Why do I. But I am the one who's, like, less afraid of, like, bugs and stuff. And she's like, you got to get it, lovey. And then something was, like, inside of me. I'm like, I have to protect her. I have to impress her. I can do it. She's clearly, like. She's literally frozen under the covers. So I'm. I am. Nonetheless, I am brave in these formidable times, especially when my woman, who's acting like a girl, is so scared. So I get up and I start to chase the roided up moth with whatever. Roy didn't get his hands on it. And in the outdoors, it's a questionable bird. It's. It's questionable bird. It's moving into the living room. I grab a pair of Robbie sweatpants on the way. I'm, like, batting it. All the doors are open by this point. I'm looking at it. I'm screaming, and I'm looking at it. I'm screaming. I said, get out. Get out, get out. It can't hear me. It cannot hear me. It does not hear English waves. The dogs are completely useless. They don't look above their snout at all. They're just watching me. Freak The. Like, they're not even barking at this point. They're just watching me. And the bird moth, it swings and swings and swings. It swings around the chimney and around the living room. And I scream and I scream and I scream and I wave the sweatpants maniacally. Is Robbie ever gonna come out and help me and save me? It seems to be no. So as I watch it a little closer, I'm watching it. It is definitely not a moth. And I knew that a long time ago. And it is not totally a bird. There's no beak and its wings are flapping, but there is no noise. And then it comes to me. It's a bat. Do you know what a bat is? Do you know what a bat is? It has wings, but it's not of the reptile family. It's not landing on those telephone poles. It's not coming to your humming bead feeder. It's a special freakish concoction when God was feeling sick and twisted. Twisted. It's a rodent on a bird's body. It's a varmint with fairy wings. It's a mole that can fly. It can defy gravity, much like wicked. And its head looks like a monkey. You think this thing's normal? And we're coming face to face with each other, and I'm trying to bat the bat out, the bat by myself. How did they come to be. But apparently they're really good for the environment. But I'm like, I don't know. I asked Robbie if she should call the exterminator, Robert Roach. I'm like, oh, come on. It's just one. We can't have this every night. I don't know if we should be so lucky for a flying ratatouille and all our shit. You know what I mean? The bat. All of this is happening in. The bat is still inside the room. I begin to scream. Robbie comes out. I begin to scream. Stay calm. Who am I talking to? Who am I talking to? Me or the bat? I don't know. But at this point that I know what it is, I'm freaking out. I don't want rabies. And. And. And you know what? It is a state of emergency. And finally it escapes out the back door while Bernie slowly strolls out the same door to go pee, not even noticing the bat. Maybe because its wings are so. You can't hear its wings. All you can See, it's like maybe it's so sonar and like Bernie can but just like not even concerned about just like went outside and then the bat followed it and thank God I, you know, you assume the demographic of the sonar here should be a dog, but in fact not mine. Descendants of a wolf. I beg to differ. There are no natural hunting skills that lie in the nose or eyes or perm like curly fur of Nardo. Oh my God. I was really brave though. We were talking about it for two days straight and you know, Robbie said she's never been so proud of me and that goes a long way. Speaking of a potentially murderous animal, the bat. But apparently it's like so unlikely that it has rabies. But that's all that we know them for. So get out you back. But this other potentially murderous animal, a rufian that could drive someone into madness and make them steal a tractor. I didn't know to look for a lost bicycle in the waterfall from five, five years prior. Should I marry a murderer? The new. The new. The new Netflix docu says I do highly suggest you watch if you haven't, but I'm about to give you a ton of spoilers. So this could also be the breakdown, but it's like also watching it for thine own eyes. It's still a different experience than listening to me spew every single detail and furthermore exposing the plot. But you still need to watch this cuckoo of a lady just go on a roller coaster. Shall I marry this killer, this murderer, this cold blooded heathen? And I think yeah, actually, yeah, definitely I do. I do the what you and you have to watch this to understand how I came about this answer honestly because it's not easy. And watching the three part. It's a three part series, I didn't want it to be over really. And you go up and down and up and down and all around it, up and down and to the side, to the side, to the front, to the back and up and down and up and down. Do you keep them? Do you dumb and do you keep them? Do you dumb and do you kick him to the curb or do you let him come in and what are you doing, you, you slag. I don't know. I don't know if I should have enunciated that really the whole way or if that is. If that is really a slur. Wait, let's look it up. I don't think so. They are Scottish. So I figured that it's like. Is slag a Scrabble word? So I'M assuming it's not really a slur. Is slag a slur? Oh, excuse me. Well, it means the same thing as a slut, so, yeah, I bet. It's not nice, but it's like, whatever. I'm kidding. You're going on vacation. You're going to Cabo to meet your significant other's family for the first time and you'll be spending seven days together. But you only have body cons and a thong bikini. Well, you could buy a whole new wardrobe, but who has money for that? Or you could rent stuff from Nuuly and just send it back when you're done. Nuuly is a subscription clothing rental service that lets you pick six styles every month. And you know they have some things that are parental appropriate, unlike your closet. But for just $98 a month, you can rent for whatever you have going on, dresses and fancy stuff or just everyday pieces. Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any six styles. But right now you can get $28 off your first month. When you sign code GABBY, just go to n U-U-L-Y.com and enter the code gabby at sign up to get 28 off your first month. That's a lot. That's n U-U-L-Y.com code gabby for $28 off your first month. Newly subscription clothing rental. Change your clothes. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. And you know what? I just got done with therapy. I just walked in the door because I have too much time to think days. I'm off one job, I don't know when the next one's coming. And it's making me worry. It's making me worry about the future. So if you've been feeling overwhelmed, stuck, anxious or unsure, that's okay. Those feelings are more common than we think. I have them. You have them. We have them. May is mental health awareness month. A good reminder you do not have to go through those feelings alone. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. Just take a short questionnaire to identify your needs and preferences. And BetterHelp will handle the initial therapist matching work for you. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off@betterhelp.com Wendy. That's better. H E L P.com Wendy. You know, anyways, back to the slag. What are you doing, you idiot? Why are you. This is Carolyn. She's the one who is deciding if she wants to marry the murderer or not. But so at this point we're like, why would you marry him? Hello. She's continued to go back to him even though he's the one who confided in her that he killed a man five years prior. So because we're in love, she says she cannot leave because she's. She's in love. Okay. And so at the beginning we're like, oh, yeah, right. That's what all the sisters and mothers and daughters say from six feet under before they're never found and will forever be 20 plus years until they get a lead out of nowhere, out of the blue, and that goddamn coward of the chief police has finally been died, retired. So then we can finally get a chance to find this missing body. They do not care about missing women. And it seems, yeah, we have all murder docs, but it seems like it's actually really easy to get away with murder. But, but, but something was right about it. So this is the contrary. Maybe she shouldn't marry him, but maybe she should. Something. Something was okay about it. The killer did not kill her. And he had plenty of chances. And he even knew that she went to the police after a while and exposed him for being a murderer. And he still loved her. He confided in her, she went straight. She gave him all this evidence. He found out later and said he forgave her. Never tried to kill her, never was really upset with her. It really didn't seem like he was putting her in danger. And believe you me, you know, I'm a skeptic. And you know, I cannot stand these men. The whole time I was like, what are you doing? Why are you going back to the state? Why are you letting him in the house again? But it like, she was like, I don't know, I still wanted to see him. I still had feelings for him. And it's like, what are you doing? Why you crazy? Cut off, like cut off contact and just leave. I've left literally for way less than that. We all get the X. We all get the X and we leave. You look like you have bad breath. You don't even have bad breath, but you look like it. I'm out, okay? You have the mustache of a magician and wrote me a four page letter and mailed it to me. You're out, okay? You complain about a cold once and can't get out of bed and can't do anything. You're out, okay? You murder someone. Okay, yeah, you know what? Actually, I'll stay. No, it doesn't make any sense. But then she's like, but, but, but, daddy, I love him. And then it kind of is like, okay, I get it. Like, if Robbie and I were in this situation, I can't say verbatim because she would make me swear on everything, whatever, and like, knock on wood and take it all back. But similar happened to us. You bet your ass I'd stay with her. Like, what are we doing? Sure, they met on Tinder two months ago, but come on. By the second month, Robbie and I knew that we were getting married. At least she did. She was so gung ho. And I was. I was cooped out, crazy. Almost like this in the beginning. I don't know why she stayed with me. Looking back, I don't know how she did it, but she knew. She knew. Just like this girl with the murder, it seems. And listen to this. This is how we know he really loved her. He pled guilty and was sentenced to 12 years to jail so she wouldn't have to testify against him, so she wouldn't have to get on that stand, look him in the eyes and admit he. She betrayed his love and. And told his secret to the worst piece of people possible. And he knew if he pled, if he didn't go through with the cross examination or whatever the fuck, then it would be over. And he did that for her. So I'm sorry. Yeah, I think it's a love story. I think if Taylor Swift or Agatha Christie rip I think she's been dead for years. Need some inspiration for a great romantic ballad. A great mystery. It wasn't. It wasn't a murder mystery because we knew that he killed this guy. We'll get into it. I'm sorry. We knew right away that Sandy the killer in tandem with his twin brother Robert, accidentally ran over a man on a bicycle at like 11pm we know. We know the murder. We know he killed him right at the beginning. So it's less of a murder mystery. It's more of a mystery of what is she going to do. It's a moral dilemma. So herein lies the first qualm of the 11pm and we hate. And this is hard to think to ourselves. For my mind can be evil, but also can my soul. So let's be honest for one fucking second, shall we? Let's be honest to ourselves and allowed. Okay. It is dangerous to be biking that late at night on a highway. Who is complicit? Is it one person's fault there's fake news? Bogus societal rule that says bikers and pedestrians have the right of way. Sure, sure, sure. In theory, yeah. And you can just. You can just push that car right off of you, can't you? If it turns into you going fast because it didn't see you, because you were in its blind spot, and you're all erratic and you're chaotic and you're just to going. Gonna push the car right up. No, let me tell you, girlies, do they really have the right away in practice when they're the ones unprotected by car doors and seat belts and windshields and airbags? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I say if you care about your life, you don't actually have the right away because you have to be defensive. You gotta look, you gotta look. You gotta be aware of your surroundings. I know this guy to my right, this girl to my left, and I have eyes in the back of my head. Those two wheels. Those two wheels on your bicycle and organs hanging out are no match for an automobile made of steel, let me tell you. Are you with me? Is this making any common sense? So I suggest you watch out for them. Don't put yourself in harm's way if you don't want to be harmed, even. Even as a pedo. Not to be confused with a pedophile, but a mere pedestrian. I make sure. I make sure to make eye contact with the car who's waiting for me to cross. I look at them. I look at them dead in the face. I'll move all around until I get their pupils. I know their retina is looking at me and I'm looking at them. So who's looking at who? We're looking at each other. And I wave and I wave and I wave and I wave because there's no excuse for them to go because they see me. I'm on the defense, For if you're not looking and get hit, who shall suffer? I ask you, if you're not making the laser beam eyes and you're not waving big and you just go looking down on your phone, who's going to suffer? From your tombstone, it may be inscribed, but I had the right of way. Well, now your only way is about six feet under, huh? So did you really have that right? Sure, you had the right, but look at the consequence. It's just a thought, honestly, I'm not really saying, but it's like, so did this bike or did he have reflectors on? And apparently this guy riding the bike really late at night, at night, he was doing like a Forrest Gump type track for, I think, prostate cancer. He just beat and was literally biking alone all through the country day and night. People told him not to bike at night. They're like, please sleep. He's like, no, I'm not going to. And it's like, you survived cancer. Wouldn't you want to survive some more? You survived cancer. You beat the odds, and now you're going to willingly put your life in danger. I don't. It's just not. It's just, like, who you know, so. So sue me. But another wrinkle in the sky. Another nick of the nail. The twin brothers, Sandy and Rabbit were drunk driving. Here we go. Here we go. The coaster goes up and down and up and down and all around in blurred vision because they're drunk. They've been drinking and driving the whole time. Time. We know because Carolyn is videoing everything. She has a proclivity first. Snapchat. But what would happen if they weren't drunk? Who knows? It's impossible to say. But they were, and they panicked, which is a human response. I mean, this is truly just a terrible accident. And I'm not. I'm not saying that they're right or that they don't deserve whatever what they got or to be reprimanded. I'm just saying that it's like they're really paying for a terrible mistake, and it's not right. But I'm like, maybe 5 out of 10 people would make that decision or like 1 out of 100, but the ratio is still there. And they were drunk, so they didn't call the police because they didn't want to tell on themselves because they would have gotten in trouble for at least a dui. And Lance Armstrong, the biker, might have been dead by the time the ambulance arrived, and they would have been charged with manslaughter. The. The man, Lance, might have been dead. Listen up. And I don't know what the sentence is like, for, like, DUI plus manslaughter, but I don't. It's less than murder, right? So they're panicking. They're panicking. What are we gonna do? How are we gonna get away with this? Oh, we've made this terrible mistake. I don't know how we're gonna cover it up. I like a delivery. I love a delivery. Sue me. I'm sorry. We are victims and perpetrators of capitalism. But I was in a pinch. I was in a pinch because I'm going to a premiere tonight with Robbie. I had no idea. And my foundation isn't matching my face anymore. It's feeling a little cakey. And I hear Giorgio Armani just reformulated. So I did. I went to Instacart and they have a Sephora and I got to pick exactly what I needed. Two shades mixed together with a little bit of a blush and a tubular mascara. They did it all. They got it all. With Instacart, you don't have to choose between call quality and convenience. With just a few taps, you can shop from your favorite grocery stores and have quality groceries and household essentials, AKA foundation, selected and ready for pickup or delivered to your door through Instacart in as fast as 30 minutes. Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your doors. So you can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacart app now and get groceries just how you like. So the twin brothers, instead of doing the right thing, now, who here is all seeming or seen and deified to determine the good and the bad, huh? Who's playing God here, huh? Not you or I. But common sense tells us, imagine being in the twins position. It would be quite the dilemma for a mere accident. Now it really sounds like I'm like, I think they should have got. I'm not going to get away with it. But I'm saying this is what is going on the whole time. This is what you're thinking about. You're like, ah, dang house. Whose fault is it? How serious? How bad? It's not like these people are serial killers. It's not like they were gonna kill again. They just had a very terrible, terrible accident. Handle it. Very bad. And they're in rural Scotland. Everyone is drunk driving. Haven't you ever been south of the Mississippi? See, it's very similar, wants very similar won'ts. They're all doing the same thing. But here, but here is where the wrench is frisbeed. In the case, Lance, the biker wasn't actually dead after being hit. Herein lies the problem. He was still barely breathing. I think like an autopsy doctor was like, he would have died in like 20 minutes. So in their panic, the twins gathered him up and put them in the back of their truck and took him to their large property and buried them there. They saw he wasn't they. They knew he was still alive, though, and still didn't call the ambulance, I think because they knew he was almost dead and by the time the ambulance would have gone there, he would have been dead. So they're like, just, let's put him in the back. It was never Specified if the victim was buried alive, but I don't think so. I think he died in transit. So this accident has really turned into a tall, dense, dense skeleton and a walk in closet. It's filling up the whole thing. Sandy meets cougar Carolyn on Tinder. Sandy the killer, Carolyn the subject. They fall in love fast. She uproots basically her whole life immediately for him. In two months he proposes. Lesbians have done way more. For what? I guarantee you, if this was two women, if this was lesbians in this case, we wouldn't even have a docu about it because they wouldn't go to the police. They would get married anyway and take it to the grave for each other. They're about to get married. So he wanted to confess to her about everything. The hit and run, excluding the part that the victim was still alive after the hit and run. So he left out an important detail. She outs him immediately with the desire to remain anonymous. Hello? Because that could put her in danger. He could also come and kill her. It doesn't take a genius. And naturally the law enforcement completely fail her. We've seen this time and time and time again. They don't give her any resources that she asked for. She asked for what she should do. They're like, oh, just stay put, it'll be fine. She asked for therapy. They said no, because it could compromise the case. And they said verbatim, she is a smart and educated woman. She is a doctor, so she shouldn't need protection. Excuse me? So women who aren't doctors are dumb and they do need protection. What are you saying? She's smart, so what? That doesn't protect her or her family from physical, physical harm. We hate women. This is what's going on. You, you as the man being interviewed who's so under my skin right now, you don't know what it's like to be afraid as a woman of literally everything, especially our physical safety, because we're not snorting our roids and living off the high of anger management day in and day out. So, so therefore she's not getting any protection. She, she's literally spoon feeding this case to the police. She marks with the Red Bull can where they can find the body. They find the body, they're not helping her at all. So she has to play her own game in order to keep herself safe. So it's like, I'm sorry, anybody human in this position would have done this. And if she really knows him, which it seems like she did, like, I think her intuition was like, he's just not going to hurt you. And she was right. She really believed he loved her and she was right. Right. And she didn't want to act differently or disappear like after she went to the police because Sandy told her she went straight to the police. So then obviously you can't like A to B. Then he was going to be like you told. And then the police started interrogating them. They started looking in the backyard and the twins were like, who could have done this? Who could have done this? Who could have done this? And not for one second did Sandy think it was Carolyn. He just never believed, believed he could have betrayed her. The other twin was like, I think it's Carolyn. And scene. He was like, shut the up. Because it is love. You're blindsided. Now it's a game of will Carolyn go back to the estate and be with him? Will she won't. Will she will. Will she won't. Will she won't. She. Her life is in danger. Well, she won't. She, she will. She continues to spend time with them and continues to gather information about the crime. And she like, the longer she thinks about it, the more angry as she gets that she could be with someone like a murderer. So she starts recording him. She gets an admission all while he's sleeping in her place. Which, you know, wasn't illegal. There was no law against it. And sorry, but do you blame the girl? We're all so desperate of love and you could. She was insecure, she was fucked up from a previous relationship. She was vulnerable and currently living in an extreme ethical moral dilemma. I mean this, this is crazy. Not even the way she handled it. But irl having your boyfriend, girlfriend, lover tell you they killed someone accidentally. But she was supposed to be like the star witness in the prosecution. And that day she was supposed to go to court was the day she went to the waterfall to try and find the bike on a stolen tractor. Absolutely manic. She had had a bottle of wine. It was like an 18 mile hike. She was out of her mind, mentally ill and they were still going to make her testify the next day. Sorry, she isn't in her right mind, but in order to save her, her boyfriend Sandy just pled guilty because that means the trial's over and she wouldn't have to face him and save her the trauma. I'm sorry, that's love. I think he did really love her and I think she should have taken that secret right to the grave and married his ass. What's the difference? Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has those Days. And I'll tell you one thing, I'm no narc. That's something that runs in my blood. I'm not a rat. I have mob blood, basically. It's just not in me. So Sandy got 12 years and shed three tears for himself and for her. And it was just romantic. I mean, at least the family of. I gotta look up this guy's name. I don't come. I. You guys know, I'm not. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. It's a comedy podcast. Tony Parsons was his name. 63 year old. And I guess Sandy got more years. Because Robert, I guess it was just his role in the COVID up. So it's like. Actually, though, would. Would the sentence be less if they would have done all the right things? Because, you know, at the most, they probably still could have been charged with murder. You know how the court system goes and everything around, you know, most likely they would have been charged with DUI and manslaughter. How long is sentence for manslaughter? Manslaughters, one to 15 years. So it's like, isn't that interesting? He handled it all wrong. You know, the worst part is that the Tony Parsons family thought that Tony Parsons was missing, you know, and just needed that closure. But it's like. Like the law didn't punish him anymore by quote unquote making the wrong decision and being bad and not going straight to the police and protecting himself. So what does that tell you? I'm not sure. Okay, well, that's it. I'll leave you some food for thought, something to chew on. And I'll see you next time. Time on Long Winded. 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