Merry Christmas with Robby Hoffman!!

Summary

Long Winded with Gabby Windey

Episode: Merry Christmas with Robby Hoffman!!
Date: December 25, 2025
Host: Gabby Windey
Guest: Robby Hoffman

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Overview

This festive episode of Long Winded brings Gabby Windey and returning guest/girlfriend Robby Hoffman together for a no-holds-barred conversation: part irreverent holiday hang, part deep dive on American healthcare, sexuality, and the quirks of their relationship. The pair bounce between personal anecdotes, sociopolitical critique, and emotional listener questions — all delivered with Gabby’s signature warmth and Robby’s razor wit.

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Main Themes

• Navigating holidays and different backgrounds (Christmas/Hanukkah)
• Scathing, impassioned analysis of the US healthcare system and insurance
• Relationship dynamics: living together, communication styles, and arguments
• Advice on sexuality, queer identity, and relationship anxieties
• Listener call-ins about bisexual awakenings, gender expression, relationship doubts, and more

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Traditions, Interfaith Joy, and Gifting Anxiety

[01:02–05:28]

• Opening banter reflects their mixed religious backgrounds — jokes about “Klausman” and “put on your yarmulke, it’s time for Hanukkah.”
• Both confess to loving Christmas, with Robby joking, “Last year I gave up Hanukkah. Christmas, they just nailed it.” [04:03]
• Anxiety and swapping too many gifts: “Why are we doing this to each other? … if you think you have to get me one more thing and I think I have to get you—maybe we should stop.” — Gabby [02:46]
• Sweet anecdote about Robby’s “pre-gift” on their flight to Cabo, showing how they blend love languages with logistical quirks.

Notable Quote:

“Shout out to the blind community. That’s why podcasts so good. You can be blind and enjoy the podcast.” — Robby [02:13]

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2. Life Updates & Jury Duty Snafus

[06:32–07:47]

• Robby receives a jury duty notice in real time, fantasizes about being on the Menendez case, jokes about her suitability for jury service.
• Gabby recalls her own jury experience, using a Bronco’s tryout as an excuse to be dismissed:

  “I was like, I’m trying out to be a Denver Broncos cheerleader. This is my plea to be let go. And they let me go.” [08:19]

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3. The American Healthcare System, Insurance, and the 'Luigi Mangioni' Case

[08:47–28:01]

• Deep, winding conversation about the failings of the US healthcare system, prompted by “Luigi Mangioni” — a character representing those who take justice into their own hands when insurance denies care.
• Robby launches into a fiery critique of insurance, government, and pharmaceutical “cartels”:

  “Insurance companies operating like a cartel with pharmaceutical companies and the government to withhold, deny, depose people's claims. ... This felt more like an anarchist—yeah, you know—like a coup.” [11:21]

• Comparison with other countries:

  “We're the only wealthy nation to not... We're the only first world country to offer it.” — Robby [13:38]

• Pointed discussion about how insurance companies are incentivized to deny care and profit from illness:

  “When you incorporate profits in that, you're incentivized to keep people sick, to deny their claims, to charge them the most possible amount for health care that they need. It's just, it's immoral and it's not necessary.” — Robby [15:09]

• Gabby and Robby compare the invisible violence of corporate decisions with visible crimes:

  “That person has killed so many people because they didn't pull a trigger. That's not how they killed them. They slowly suffocated them. We don't take it as viscerally.” — Robby [26:32]

Notable Exchange:

Gabby: “How does it work? You pay taxes, you get health care. The government subsidizes.”
Robby: “We are not a part of the government. The government has long ago started going—to sit on the phone with customer service… there’s just no way.” [22:42–21:13]

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4. Relationship Dynamics, Living Together & Arguing (With Love)

[28:01–38:13]

• Gabby and Robby check in about their relationship—supporting each other's careers, adjusting to living together, and the stress of not having a space that feels mutual.
• Ongoing spat about dishwashers, cleaning, and household tasks provides insight into their communication style and affection beneath the bickering.

  “She hates the house. House. She hates it.” — Gabby [34:35] “I don't hate the house... When I don't know the lay of the land ... we keep having a sense that we're moving on the hunt.” — Robby [34:41–37:08]

• They reflect on conflicts, learning “not to take it personally,” and striving to speak up more honestly.

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5. Listener Questions: Sexuality, Gender, and Queer Advice

[39:25–76:13]

a. Bisexuality & “Am I Gay?”

[39:32–41:24]

• Caller wonders if her curiosity about women is a sign she's a lesbian.

  “Straight girls don't wonder this. ... If you've thought you're bisexual and you've never acted on it, and now you're leaning even more gay—okay, you've had the male counterpart. Now dabble into the woman.” — Robby [39:49–41:11]

• Gabby shares her own experience realizing she was attracted to women.

b. Queer Representation and Gender Expression

[41:25–44:01]

• Another caller thanks them for “super mask/super fem representation” and expresses how rare such couples are in media.

  "We're holding up the entire community at this point. I don't know if I'm the right example for this, but thank you for your call." — Robby [43:13]

c. Chest Dysphoria & Top Surgery

[44:18–54:25]

• Caller asks about chest dysphoria during strap-on sex and whether Robby’s surgical decision was influenced by sexual experiences.

  “For me, I don't know that it had anything to do particular with me in sexual experiences. ... For me, it's more day in and day out. I just didn't like having a chest.” — Robby [45:48–46:15]

• Robby details her journey, years binding her chest, why she waited, and how top surgery improved her mental health and sense of self.

  “As soon as I heard about top surgery, I wanted it. ... I gave myself two years to think about it. ... For me it was way better than I thought it was, like I was. I also had this thing about regret.” — Robby [47:24–51:16]

d. Relationship Security: Dating Non-Cis Men & Insecurities

[55:30–59:38]

• Caller asks how Gabby and Robby handle security in their relationship given Gabby's high-profile dating history.

  “If you’re into me, I’m like, so secure because I’m like, there’s something—like, that’s a. I feel like cilantro or something.” — Robby [57:48]

• Gabby describes navigating internalized homophobia and growing comfort, especially after positive experiences as a queer couple.

e. Bisexual Awakening in Hetero Relationships

[61:25–67:47]

• Caller wonders if, after discovering she’s bi while in a relationship with a man, she’ll always have longing.

  “You're always giving up something, whether you're giving up the [other gender] to be in a relationship. ... You're giving up other encounters. That's what a committed relationship is.” — Robby [62:56]

• Both acknowledge the temptation of “what ifs”, the value of long-term commitment, and working through feelings in therapy.

f. Travel Compatibility & Wanting More From a Partner

[70:10–74:24]

• Caller loves her boyfriend but worries his lack of worldly experience (and phobia of travel) clashes with her adventurous side.

  "You have to decide what's a deal breaker or what's not. ... In any relationship, like Gabby was saying earlier, it's always a compromise." — Robby [71:35] "My thing I'm kind of taking away is: she's afraid to live a boring life." — Gabby [72:25]

g. Relationship Drama & Revenge Hookups

[74:24–76:04]

• Caller seeking revenge on her ex by hooking up with his (revenge) partner’s brother says things are “getting messy.”

  “On and off, off again ex—this is nothing. ... If you're single, have fun. ... If he's left you once, it's done.” — Robby [75:13]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Healthcare as Violence:

  “They're institutionalizing violence. They say it's legal to deny people for services that they purchase.” — Robby [24:33]

• Relationship Check-in:

  “I think our biggest obstacle is going to be our careers ... like, staying close.” — Gabby [30:15]

• Long-term, Committed Love:

  “I can't wait to see what does 10 years of love look like, what is 15 years? ... It’s the hard-earned drama, but it’s as dramatic in a better way.” — Robby [66:06–69:17]

• Security in Queer Relationships:

  “If you’re into me, you’re really just into me, baby.” — Robby [57:48]

• On Being Role Models:

  “We're holding up the entire community at this point.” — Robby [43:13]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:02] – Holiday banter, Christmas vs. Hanukkah, relationship dynamics
• [08:47] – Start of deep healthcare discussion
• [16:55] – Comparison to Canadian/European healthcare models
• [26:32] – Institutional vs. direct violence
• [28:01] – Relationship check-in, living together, cleaning disputes
• [39:25] – Listener call: Bi/gay awakening
• [44:18] – Listener call: Chest dysphoria and top surgery
• [55:30] – Listener call: Security in queer relationships
• [61:25] – Listener call: Bisexual awakening in a straight relationship
• [70:10] – Listener call: Partner’s reluctance to travel
• [74:24] – Listener call: Revenge hookups

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Tone and Style

• Humorous, irreverent, unapologetic: Gabby and Robbie riff, tease, and digress, but continuously pull meaningful insight from their banter.
• Vulnerable and relatable: Both hosts are candid about their insecurities and admit their flaws.
• Unfiltered social critique: Especially around healthcare, with passionate, pointed delivery.
• Welcoming and supportive: Genuinely affirming to listeners and each other, especially on issues of sexuality and queer identity.

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For new listeners, this episode is a perfect microcosm of Long Winded: simultaneously hilarious, fiercely political, and deeply felt — blending holiday antics, complex queerness, real-world woes, and relationship wisdom.

Transcript

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[Gabby Windy]

Okay, welcome to our Christmas episode.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I'm. It's time for. Wow. Put on your yarmul. It's time for hanukkah.

[Gabby Windy]

Here is Mr. How can we make claws into a Jewish name? You have to do it so I don't sound racist.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Claus kind of sounds Jewish. Klausman Kleisman, this is me. Oh, Mrs. Claus.

[Gabby Windy]

Looking at my Mr. Claus, I wonder if he's gonna put anything nice under the tree.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Put on your yarmulke. It's time for Hanukkah. Hanukkah is the same day as Christmas. This year we're having a real Christmas.

[Gabby Windy]

I know. I didn't believe her because she's always saying that.

[Robbie Hoffman]

What do you mean?

[Gabby Windy]

I'm always saying, babe, you are. You know it. Okay.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Am I gonna get headphones?

[Gabby Windy]

No, I just was checking you. Do you want headphones?

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, I like your sweater. Wait, what happened to the eyes on the other?

[Gabby Windy]

They fell off. He's blind. He lost nothing.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Shout out to the blind community. That's why podcast so good. You can be blind and enjoy the podcast.

[Gabby Windy]

Literally. It's for your ears. Give them a honk, honk, honk. Give them a honk. Bab molestation. Just kidding. Give him a honk, honk. Okay, well, I am excited for Christmas. I feel like I need to get you one more thing by the time.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Me too. You know what?

[Gabby Windy]

No, but I thought. Why are we doing this to each other?

[Robbie Hoffman]

Because I thought we're getting so much. No, I know.

[Gabby Windy]

I feel like we should stop. If you think you have to get me one more thing. And I think I have to get you. I just thought we should.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Okay.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah, I agree. Was your thing expensive?

[Robbie Hoffman]

No.

[Gabby Windy]

Okay. You can get it.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Well, I don't think I can get it.

[Gabby Windy]

Oh, right. Because it's like. Yeah. I wonder if Amazon delivers to the country.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Doesn't. I don't have an address.

[Gabby Windy]

Well. Well, that's it. One thing you guys. Well, a couple things you guys might not know about Rob is she.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I gotta stretch.

[Gabby Windy]

She's got a stretch. This is. You can't. Babe, why don't you stretch on camera?

[Robbie Hoffman]

No.

[Caller]

Why?

[Gabby Windy]

She does have to do her stretches. I think it's an anxiety thing. And sometimes she'll plug both her ears and take a big, deep breath. It just helps. Wait, can I do it with you? It helps center you.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah. When you take a deep breath and you block your eyes and ears, you can focus on it a little more.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah, good point. And, okay, so a couple things you might not know about Robbie is.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I have no idea. This is what.

[Gabby Windy]

She loves Christian music.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I do.

[Gabby Windy]

And she loves Christmas.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Love Christmas.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I mean, everybody knows last year I gave up Hanukkah.

[Gabby Windy]

Well, does everybody know?

[Caller]

And.

[Robbie Hoffman]

What do you mean, give up Hanukkah? I bought such nice decorations, love.

[Gabby Windy]

Oh, yeah. That's what you mean. I know. Mine has no problem staying. I don't know what the deal is. I know. You really did.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah. It's just.

[Gabby Windy]

Do you regret it? Because now.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Because now I have the decorations. We're gonna go up, we're gonna buy the tree. I like the whole idea.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Christmas, they just nailed it with Christmas. It's got nothing to do, like. There's just nothing doing for Hanukkah. And some people lie and they say, well, I feel like it is gift every day. It's like, not really.

[Gabby Windy]

Right. It's just a candle. Every day, you're like, okay, this isn't a gift. I sometimes feel like Christmas is burdensome, especially when you're surrounded by a bunch of people. Like when I was on Denver Bronco Shear, you get a Christmas present for literally everybody.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, no.

[Gabby Windy]

And your family. Right. We like. I feel like I like Christmas now that it's just you. I'm not getting my family anything they don't know yet. But it's like. Because I don't. I also, like, don't want anything really from them. Not because I don't love them, but it's like, let's save it. That's not what the Christmas spirit's about.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, it's about me and you.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Hopefully my. So we made a rule that we're doing one big gift and then, like, smaller for stocking or whatever.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah. Well, I do feel bad because you got the swimsuit.

[Robbie Hoffman]

The swimsuit. So I did. I did give her a pre gift.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Which was part of the gifts.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

So I got her a pre gift.

[Gabby Windy]

Should. We went to Cabo. Yeah. And on the airplane. It was so sweet.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Well, you were working on the airplane, and the flight was short. I was like, if I don't give it to her on this airplane, I'm going to explode.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah. She was so antsy. Normally you do not give two about what I'm doing on the airplane because you're so busy in your own world. It's actually like, I wish we were. When we first started dating, we would play the movie at the same time. We would really.

[Robbie Hoffman]

You were working, babe.

[Gabby Windy]

I know, but you work a lot, too. There's something in our relationship. Yeah. We got comfortable with each other, I guess.

[Robbie Hoffman]

But not on the plane. I wanted to have connecting and I wanted to give you my. The bathing suit.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah. Well, no. Yes. She was acting so weird. I was like, what does she want from me? Like, so bad. I. You know, I'm a busy girl. That's actually something I want to talk about, too, but. But I finally put down my work, and then she gave me a gorge wrapped what looked like a paper bag on the outside, but it was tied with a ribbon. And I opened it up. Babe, can you.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I just got summoned to the jury.

[Gabby Windy]

For what jury? Babe, can you not. Please.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Babe, I have jury duty. No, you kind of my dream.

[Gabby Windy]

Email it now.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, my sister just got a letter for me.

[Gabby Windy]

Okay, well, when is it?

[Robbie Hoffman]

Well, I'm gonna be on a jury. Maybe I'll be in the new Menendez trial. I'd love.

[Gabby Windy]

Are they having a new trial?

[Robbie Hoffman]

I don't know.

[Gabby Windy]

Oh, yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I thought maybe I'll do Luigi Mangioni. I'd love that.

[Gabby Windy]

Here we go.

[Robbie Hoffman]

You know what? I would release him no matter what I would say.

[Gabby Windy]

There's no, you know what he's charged. He's charged with, like, you probably know, whatever. First degree murder. Ian's like, the terrorism account perf.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I would, but I would. To get on the jury. Do I be like, I've never heard of United Health or this Luigi, Is that Mario Brothers or. Why?

[Gabby Windy]

Because you don't want any bias anyway.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah, I can't imagine any judge selecting me as a part of the jury.

[Gabby Windy]

No, I don't think you.

[Robbie Hoffman]

But I. But I really want to be on any sort of a jury, small or large case. But I don't. I don't see myself getting passed.

[Gabby Windy]

No, I don't. I don't think so. One time I was selected for a jury, and it was actually a medical malpractice case. And we were like. How I remember it in my head is we were literally sitting in the jury box and they were like, does anybody have anything to say or any bias? Now is your last chance. And I was like, I'm trying out to be a Denver Broncos cheerleader. I think this is actively going to get in the way of my preparation. So th. This is my plea to be let go. And they let me go.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Oh, wow.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Well, you could have said you were a nurse, right? Because you could have been like, as a nurse, I tend to side with whatever. Whatever. Yeah.

[Gabby Windy]

Because, you know, I think I. At that point I did kind of want to be, but like, not because of Broncos, but because, like, I did know a lot about malpractice and to actually see someone be sued for it, I was like, ugh. I don't know if you see this all the time. Did you listen to Dr. Death, the podcast?

[Robbie Hoffman]

No.

[Gabby Windy]

He was like. He like faked his way through med school. He was like, he was doing surgeries, like, somehow scammed his way through med school, through residency. Just had like self printed certificates. Like everything was a lie. He just like let. Well, no, he killed people.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I know, it's terrible. You gotta respect the hustle.

[Gabby Windy]

No, I don't.

[Robbie Hoffman]

You gotta separate the artist from the artist.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah. There's no art.

[Robbie Hoffman]

You gotta separate the art from the artist.

[Gabby Windy]

I don't know. What do you think about the. What do you think about Luigi?

[Robbie Hoffman]

I mean, there's so much to think about. Luigi. I'm happy, you know, a lot of people, like, I'm obviously on the side of the people. Always have been. I think really the best thing to come out of whatever side you, you, you stand. Luigi, what he did was right, wrong. Whatever it is, the conversation's happening. There's. There's no argument that conversation to this level, that is nonpartisan. That is not yet really like, you.

[Gabby Windy]

People from other countries are like, wow, who would have thunk this? United America.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah.

[Gabby Windy]

But also, I think, like I saw on Instagram, obviously some backlash where I read it in Tik Tok. I think are like more left leaning and everybody Is like a new headshot gets posted. Luigi. And they're like, smash. Yeah, like they, you know, but I think like I've seen some things on Instagram that they're just like, how could you say this? But I feel like it's also just like kind of right wing media. You cannot deny that this CEO has killed many people.

[Robbie Hoffman]

But I don't think right wing. I don't think this, this has been right wing, left wing or I guess.

[Gabby Windy]

Mainstream media on like Fox, cnn. Yeah, not right wing, because this is something that is united.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah, exactly. This is of the people. This is for the first time, people are, are getting together by virtue of their class rather the political affiliation. Health care is beyond the scope of politics. I would. Because even though this can be seen as a political act of violence, I think the actual greater political act of violence is insurance. Insurance companies operating like a cartel with pharmaceutical companies and the government to withhold, deny, depose people's claims. And, and they're using politics in their favor. They have lobbyists and all that. I think this felt more like a, more like a, an anarchist. Yeah, you know, like a coup. This like more of like an anarchist kiss move than, than, than a political move, which is, I guess, political. I had, I said it better the other day or I had the thought better in my head the other day. Yeah. A lot of people are trying, you know, the media is trying hard not to report people's feelings about this because they have stake. They're the support. They don't with, with, with corporate greed in America. So, you know, there's a slant going on now that, oh, he grew up wealthy and he went to rich school. I'm happy he grew up wealthy and then still stood up for the people.

[Gabby Windy]

Right.

[Robbie Hoffman]

You know, to me that's like a Moses. That's like a Moses move. That's not. I'm happy we didn't lose another poor guy. Yeah, how many poor have we already lost? He took it out for the team and the team was greater than him.

[Gabby Windy]

Well, and in many ways, like, I think that there's kind of a. It almost takes somebody. Well, and he had like bad back pain and stuff. So when I felt like, whatever, maybe he wasn't getting the care, so he had experienced it firsthand. A lot of people haven't experienced it. It's just something that gets taken out of your paycheck every month. Like when I was a nurse, it's like, okay, yeah, you need health care or el, you're going to be taxed. I didn't actually know. Like I just thought it's the way it was. Sometimes you don't have enough education to really question it.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Right.

[Gabby Windy]

But now it's like, it's whatever. It's like not to like what, like deduce it to this. But it's like awareness. Like I had no idea about the CEO of UnitedHealcare and how much they were denying people's claims and in fact killing people by not treating like their illnesses and stuff. So it's like killing by neglect.

[Robbie Hoffman]

It's like if you leave a kid in a hot car.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

And they die. You killed them.

[Gabby Windy]

What health insurance is for.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah.

[Gabby Windy]

Like yeah, we have.

[Robbie Hoffman]

And it's mandatory.

[Gabby Windy]

Exactly.

[Robbie Hoffman]

It's also something you have to purchase health care insurance in this country and then it doesn't work. So it's like if it's not going to work, I. I'd rather not buy it and take my shot at. At when I need something. Paying it anyway.

[Gabby Windy]

Which happens in other countries.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Well, in other countries it's and all.

[Gabby Windy]

Are we the only one.

[Robbie Hoffman]

We're the only wealthy nation to not doesn't have.

[Gabby Windy]

Okay.

[Robbie Hoffman]

We're the only first world country to offer it.

[Gabby Windy]

I mean, is there a way, I guess Mark Cuban like, is there a way to somehow still make money and we have to. Whatever. We're a capitalist country. We have to make money off of everything. But is there a way to still do it ethically?

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah, well, no, I don't think that. That I really like pharmaceuticals.

[Gabby Windy]

Maybe not free. I mean. Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I don't think healthcare can be profit motivated. There's certain things like the roads and bridges. We don't want bridges to be profit motivated because you go over a bridge where they didn't feel like they got the right money and good luck to you passing that bridge. There are certain things that should collectively come out of the money that we collectively raise, which is our taxes. It's not like we don't have the money to do it. Except what that tax dollars. Now how this works and people just are opening up to it is how the health care system works in this country is that all of us raise taxes and give it to the government and the government through subsidies and. And write offs and all this stuff subsidizes the health care industry, not the people. It should just. Insurance companies are basically paid as a middleman between health care and people. And I think when you incorporate profits in that, you're incentivized to keep people sick, to deny their claims, to charge them the most possible amount for health care that they need. It's just, it's. It's immoral and it's not necessary. We have the money, we raise. The whole point of raising of money through taxes is that we take that money, we do social programs with it, building roads and, and public schools and hospitals and health care. We have more than enough money. If people weren't grab bagging it, rich companies weren't taking that money. Yeah, and, and you know, it's like we're, they're double dipping all the time. We give them money to not help us.

[Gabby Windy]

I feel like Theo von with Bernie Sanders right now.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah, well, anyway, I'm not well spoken. You probably know you are. No, because you really are.

[Gabby Windy]

No, that's, that's why I wanted to ask because I knew, obviously I knew well who's not involved. But I know you particularly like justice.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah, well, I think like, listen, do.

[Gabby Windy]

You like a case? You like a case? You're always on long crime. But I'm just saying that because like, because I don't totally know. Like I was lost a couple times. I could have followed. But also, you know when Theo Vaughn had all of those political people on and he just could not keep up. Yeah, but I don't think you should be afraid to ask dumb questions.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I know, but I actually didn't explain how health care works in the system.

[Gabby Windy]

All that's the thing is that it's not easy to understand, which is the whole point.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, but I did have it articulated very well the other day.

[Gabby Windy]

Okay.

[Robbie Hoffman]

So that's what I. I just need a second to think about it. Let me think about it. Okay. Health care here, let's just look it up. Because it doesn't work, okay. In Canada and in other countries it works that the. You, you, you, you pay taxes.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

And then they just fund all the hospitals and all the medications and you get everything. It comes out of your tax dollars.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

So here you don't even have CO pay. Your tax dollars go to pharmaceutical companies.

[Gabby Windy]

They do.

[Robbie Hoffman]

So let me just look.

[Gabby Windy]

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[Gabby Windy]

Maybe we can recap our Cabo trip a little. When we're switching gears on Reddit, it's like everyone is making up fake alibis for him and photoshopping him into, like, their selfies. Like, all across the world. They're like, actually, he was helping me with my family shop in Germany on December 8, or whatever day it was at between the hours of 6:00am and 6:00pm like, wow.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I had it. Because there are people who are.

[Gabby Windy]

It's okay, babe. Let's talk about. It's okay.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, bottom line, bottom line, all systems. Yeah, like, a lot of people are mad that Luigi Mangioni took justice in his own hands, that he should go through the systems we have in place.

[Gabby Windy]

That you shouldn't, like, kill somebody. Like, somebody doesn't need to die in order to get your point across.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah. Or that he took justice into his own hands. He should do justice through the system, which, by the way, he's gonna have be in court and he will face the judicial system for the crimes that he committed. No question. Which, how many people don't? How many people aren't looked into? How many people die and they're poor and nobody cares to give their perpetrators a trial. So that's another thing. But a lot of people say, oh, he took justice in his own hands. He should do it with the system. When the system excludes you, you have no system. The judicial system excludes most of us. If you are sick and you need health care and your insurance denies you. You don't have a system that works for you anymore. You are out of the system. They have effectively kicked you out of the system. So healthcare system isn't working for you. You're not. We are not a part of the government. The government has long ago started going.

[Gabby Windy]

To sit on the phone with customer service. Yeah, it's like there's just like no way.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No. The government long ago has given up working for the people. It works for companies, lobbyists.

[Gabby Windy]

Well, part of the problem with UnitedHealth is that like 40 of their customer service calls was AI.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah.

[Gabby Windy]

And you actually couldn't even get a hold of anyone. So people who are trying to like.

[Robbie Hoffman]

You'Re out of the system, you're not included, you're not thought about. The thing is, is the government long ago abandoned the people and it started working for companies. Companies hire lobbyists, which are people to convince government officials to give them money. Instead of people. A company like Amazon goes in and says we need $10 billion. Trust me, we'll trickle it down. We'll give it to all our employees. We'll actually hire more people. If you give us money, it lets us invest in here, here, here, and we'll hire more jobs.

[Gabby Windy]

How are they still following? It's like they don't. This has been going on for so long. So how are people still.

[Robbie Hoffman]

United Health does this. Everybody does it. So not only do they get money back from our tax dollars, they also charge us premiums every month.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah, no expensive premiums. By the way. I'm paying like $300 a month, which I'm sure people probably pay more, but it's wild.

[Robbie Hoffman]

It's insane. This, the system should work as any other civilized country works. You, you have taxes. It's so simple. Why is it so complicated, American healthcare? Because, because it's on purpose. It's so simple how it should work.

[Gabby Windy]

It's a business, it's, it's a capitalism.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Simple. It should be simple. How does it work? You pay taxes, you get health care. The government subsidizes.

[Gabby Windy]

Right. We're just so we pull our money together. So as a nurse, I think this, as healthcare workers, as a nurse I was also, I think getting 75, a hundred dollars out of each paycheck to pay. I barely made any money. All my money was going to help.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Nurses free health care liter. You work there.

[Gabby Windy]

And I had, I had to pay a co pay every time I went to the doctor. $35. And for like the dermatologist it was like $50.

[Robbie Hoffman]

It's like when I worked at a store and we had a uniform.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

And they made us buy our uniform. You buy me my uniform.

[Gabby Windy]

I was thinking about that the other day too. I'm like buying scrubs was so expensive. Actually as a nurse, you had to.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Buy your own scrubs.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

That's abysmal.

[Gabby Windy]

I know. No, cerebral. They're treated like hell.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Why do you need scrubs?

[Gabby Windy]

Because you're spilled with blood and guts.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah.

[Gabby Windy]

That you don't want. Like on your own.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah.

[Gabby Windy]

You know, clothes.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Okay, well cut that into something that's manageable. Because I. I don't know, I feel weird. Like we might have to re record that.

[Gabby Windy]

We don't have to re record it.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I'm just telling you that I feel like I didn't explain it well.

[Gabby Windy]

No, I, I basically healthcare works like a part time. That. I'm the dumb one.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, you're not. You're the smart one.

[Gabby Windy]

No. And I'm like interviewing like a politician.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Healthcare works like a cartel. The government, the healthcare insurance companies and the pharmaceutical companies are in cahoots together. And you are not in that system. You are not a part of that. People. People are the one thing not in that. And they just use people for their profits.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

You are not part of it. You're not on the team. They are in cahoots. They operate like a cartel.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

And. And healthcare should.

[Gabby Windy]

And they're killing you in more silent ways.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah. Just because they're wearing suit and ties.

[Gabby Windy]

Right. I think that's why it's so confusing.

[Robbie Hoffman]

They're institutionalizing violence. They say it's legal to deny people for services that they purchase.

[Gabby Windy]

Like, how else would UnitedHealthcare have some kind of an investigation?

[Robbie Hoffman]

They wouldn't. Exactly. They work with the investigators. They work with the government. It. So.

[Gabby Windy]

And okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I keep cutting you off, but I. But I'm almost. I'm almost.

[Gabby Windy]

Okay, go.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I forgot my point.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Robbie Hoffman]

That's okay.

[Gabby Windy]

Cuz I wanted to do a.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, they keep cut. They. They. They. I forget.

[Gabby Windy]

That's okay.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, but I wanted to say something.

[Gabby Windy]

It's okay, babe. Well, I'm sure.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Give me one sec. Okay. Keep cutting. You home. Oh, yeah. Because these know.

[Gabby Windy]

Because you know that Dr.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Evil. Okay, please. I actually cream a. I'm not. I can't.

[Gabby Windy]

I can't speak.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I don't know my words. I don't know my words. Okay, now because these people are wearing suits and ties and they look civilized and they.

[Gabby Windy]

They look like they're there to help.

[Robbie Hoffman]

You because they're in suits and they literally, you know, they literally institutionalize violence, you know, by passing laws like, oh, we can deny people life saving treatments. That kind of negligence kills people. But because it's done within the system, which is a violent system, it's okay. Then when somebody kills somebody on shoot, we go, whoa, that's too far. They killed one person. You know, when, when one. When the person they killed has blood on their hands is liable at least in very large part to a large amount of people being denied life saving care.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

That person has killed so many people because they didn't pull a trigger. That's not how they killed them. They slowly suffocated them. We don't, we don't take it as viscerally.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah, no, that was. That's a great way to put it to. Kind of succinctly. I did bring people here today because I offer us to give them relationship advice. Should we segue?

[Robbie Hoffman]

We have to segue and not to cut all of them.

[Gabby Windy]

No, I'm not gonna cut it, babe.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, I want to cut some of it. We'll see. Okay.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Gabby Windy]

No, it's a great. And it's, it's better. You're so educated on it. No, but I'm not talking about it.

[Robbie Hoffman]

When, you know, when you don't have your words.

[Gabby Windy]

Well, it's okay. This is helping you. So the next time you talk about it, then you'll have this kind of bottom line.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Anything that brings people together on the real issues is important. Whether you think Maggione. I don't care what.

[Gabby Windy]

Nobody, nobody's going to really listen to it, I feel.

[Robbie Hoffman]

But most of our issues, most of our issues are rich versus poor. And this is the, this is, this is one that's a big one for easy. That's easier for people to grasp because who isn't affected by health care? Yeah, everybody is. And it's not working. Whether you're Republican or Democrat, you've been denied. Yeah, all poor people have been denied.

[Gabby Windy]

Right, right, right. I know it's one thing we can agree on. How do you think?

[Robbie Hoffman]

So it's not right to left. It's up to down.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah. Yeah, that's good. That's really good. Give me some, babe.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I feel inarticulate today. I don't. She forced me to do this podcast last minute. I didn't force.

[Gabby Windy]

Please. How do you think our relationship is? Let's do a check in.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I mean, I love our relationship.

[Gabby Windy]

What I was gonna say is I think we're really supportive of each other's careers.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Oh, good.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Agree. I mean, I'm doing your pod. I'm talking over you on your pod, which I hate. No, it's okay. The worst of my personalities are coming out right now. We were just fine, and now I'm.

[Gabby Windy]

Like, no, it's fine. I think I used to take it personally, but now I. It's actually helping me because then I know, like, when to speak up and to not be afraid, and I don't. I don't want to cut into you. I think we talked. We talked a good amount on Luigi and healthcare, and now we can switch. But I know you could talk about it forever, and you have really good points, but. Yeah, no, I think some of it sometimes. Well, you know, I was thinking, people are like, somebody called in and asked, you know, what do we fight about the most? Or what is something that. Yeah. That, like, we kind of frequently fight about. I'm like, I don't know if it's any, like, one thing now, but I do think, well, we're just coming off of a Cabo trip, and I felt so connected. I feel like I really. I really like you. After I had a good dream, but it's like, we spend.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Had a good. You said you had a good dream, but it ended up being kind of a bad dream.

[Gabby Windy]

Well, yeah, I was forced to go back on the Bachelor, but she was.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Gonna go on the Bachelor, but she's dating me, and I'm like, But no.

[Gabby Windy]

I was like, you guys, I can't. Like, even though I could have gone back on tv, they would have given me money. It's like, but I'm in love with Robbie. I can't. And you were there waiting.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Let's say that predicament actually came up. They were like, we want you to be the Bachelor.

[Gabby Windy]

It just wouldn't work. We would need a different predicament. Like, I just wouldn't do the Bachelor. I'd be like, oh, no, babe, no, you wouldn't. But. But, yeah, no, I fe. It was just so nice being together for that, like, extended of a period.

[Robbie Hoffman]

And now we need 10 days anytime.

[Gabby Windy]

I know. We were thrown back into work, and I'm like, oh, my God, I miss it. Like, how do we recreate vacation at home? Like, I loved going to sleep with you every night, and I still do, but I know. I think our biggest obstacle is going to be our careers.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Oh, survival. What?

[Gabby Windy]

Like, staying close.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Like, all so busy.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

So, like, could you imagine? People have kids, they Both have.

[Gabby Windy]

And then they go nine to five. That's. It's like, at least we're working at home together. And, like, it's like, I need a lot. I know I'm deeply emotional. I need a deep, deep connection. Which maybe is why, like, I can't always.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Sorry I talked over you before. Like, I. I was still nervous. You know, it takes me a second to get into the pod a lot to say no, but. But also. And I felt like I talked, like, too long. And then. Then I felt, like, cut off sometimes. But then I would cut off you on the cut. Like, I felt like I was way too long winded. But it wasn't working, babe.

[Gabby Windy]

That's okay.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Okay.

[Gabby Windy]

No, because people just like to hear you talk.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Not really. Yeah, I was in our time.

[Gabby Windy]

My friend, like, text me. She was like, I know this sounds weird, but I could hear Bobby talk about anything. And I'm like, I know, but what about me?

[Robbie Hoffman]

Peaceful protest has not worked. If peaceful protests work, work, we would continue to do it. But it really. We've been peacefully protesting.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

It's like Tupac said. Tupac said at one point he gave an interview, and he was just brilliant. He's. I don't know if he was, like, 23 giving this interview or whatever, but he said, you know, poor people, in the beginning, they asked nicely for food. Like, hey, can we have some food? No. Okay. Then they ask again, like, oh, do we have food? Then they. They go outside the grocery, we want food. We want food. Food. Okay, no food. Then they're, like, locked out of a store or they're locked out of a hotel room where they can smell the food and they can see the food, and there's tons of it, and there's so much extra, and they're bringing the door, hey, can we have some food? We're asking, can we have some food? And then finally, they got to break down the door and get the food.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

He's like, we've been asking nicely for a long time, and maybe this won't do anything, but nothing does anything, you know? So. Okay. It started a conversation. That's something.

[Gabby Windy]

It is something. It's a big conversation.

[Robbie Hoffman]

That's something. Yeah. And we'll take scraps. That's all we. We are left with.

[Gabby Windy]

You've been thinking about this since the whole time I tried.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Well, it's like, it's. We just had another school shooting. Nothing's been done. Somebody said it best, too, that if 26 rich white kids didn't end gun violence, I E. Sandy Hook, when 26 rich white kids were killed in Connecticut, then nothing will. They're not going to care about brown or black kids. They never have. So we just. Just love guns more than we love people, and that's just the end of it. Or we love killing people more than we like saving them.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah, I know. I don't. I don't believe in the second amendment.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I don't understand the u. S. Constitution because everything is called, like, an amendment.

[Gabby Windy]

About the u. S. Constitution.

[Robbie Hoffman]

So then it's like, isn't amendment mean change? And then now we're so, like, hesitant to change it. But amendment means change. At some point it was changed.

[Gabby Windy]

I know. But now they don't want to touch it anymore. So there's more guns than there are people. They say, right. So they don't want to go door to door, ask for their guns back. We're already too far gone. But that's okay. Let's talk about. Let's.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about sex, baby. Put on your yamaka, it's time for hanukkah Put on your yamaka, it's time for hanukkah. So this is Christmas.

[Gabby Windy]

We play Christmas music at the country house when we're going to decorate the cabin. And we can't wait to go because we haven't gone yet. Like, we haven't been in the Christmas spirit at all. Like, we'll go there. We'll put on your mariah Carey. What other Christmas album is there besides hopefully Thursday?

[Robbie Hoffman]

We're gonna go get a tree.

[Gabby Windy]

I know, but we have a lot to do. And.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, we don't. You're gonna sit. I'm gonna make you tea, and I'll decorate like last year. You have nothing to do.

[Gabby Windy]

I know, but we have. I want to enjoy Christmas. I want to look at the tree multiple times. I really want to feel like it. I feel like a week isn't enough. Maybe next year we should decorate the house for Christmas. Christmas.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Okay. We'll be in a. We don't know where we're gonna live.

[Gabby Windy]

Wow.

[Robbie Hoffman]

That's. Our biggest issue, is we still haven't found a place where we're both comfortable. Yeah, that's the biggest issue. People want to know, but it was the same issue last time. What? What were you gonna say? The biggest issue is we do this a lot to each other.

[Gabby Windy]

She hates the house. House. She hates it. And it's.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I don't hate the house. I don't feel babe.

[Gabby Windy]

And I'm seeing a different side of her, which I won't go into.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Go into it.

[Gabby Windy]

No, you said you didn't want me to.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I don't care. Go ahead.

[Gabby Windy]

Eat it. Well, Robbie's basically refusing to do any kind of a dish dishwasher has, like, some kind of rebuttal.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No. She tells her the dishwasher works. I show her, literally, a coffee cup with what looked worse coming out of dishwasher. She's like, no, you just have to put it on this side.

[Gabby Windy]

No, she didn't. She had a bad pod. I had pods from Trader Joe's because none of the other ones would come in on time. And I swear to God, I leave. I'll clean up my stuff. I am doing that. I am very tit for tat. So. And then I'll. I'll watch her not clean up her stuff. I'm like, okay, this is clear that it's an act of defiance. We've lived together for seven months.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Months.

[Gabby Windy]

August, September, October, November, December. Five months.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I live in your house.

[Gabby Windy]

I know.

[Robbie Hoffman]

And that's a problem when you don't get a house together. It's like, I don't. There's nothing that is similar. Like, the dishwasher doesn't work or it has a finicky way of working. I'm like, okay, you just have to.

[Gabby Windy]

Put a better pot in it and rinse your dishes. You're one of those that's like, you don't have to rinse your dishes.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, you don't have to rinse your dishes.

[Gabby Windy]

That's crazy.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Babe, the appliances. First of all, they're charging through the roof for this place, and the appliances are 30 years old, and they don't work. They. The water.

[Gabby Windy]

How come? I just don't have a problem with it.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Filtered water. We don't have any.

[Gabby Windy]

You're complaining about the dishwasher not cleaning the dishes. Meanwhile, you haven't cleaned a dish in five.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Babe, I have. You don't see. You leave. You want to do this. You leave. Your. Your. Your. Your. Babe, I don't want you live. Your laundry. Sorry. Your. Your. Your suitcases. If we get back from anywhere. The suitcases in the middle of the floor of the living room for two to three weeks.

[Gabby Windy]

Babe, I was sick, and it was two days.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Days. Key. I want to cut all this. I don't like this episode.

[Gabby Windy]

No, it's okay. Because I know I'm gonna have to.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Watch this whole episode, though.

[Gabby Windy]

No, totally.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No.

[Gabby Windy]

You're always amazing, and honestly, I don't care. Like, I Am at the point in the relationship where I feel like every six months or so, I get a real solidifying feeling. But here's the thing.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Love.

[Gabby Windy]

But no, no.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Because you're making it seem like I'm messy. But it's like, you saw how I look. Lived in my house, babe.

[Gabby Windy]

I know.

[Robbie Hoffman]

When I don't know the lay of the land, it's not. I'm just like. And we keep having a sense that we're moving on the hunt, so.

[Gabby Windy]

I know, I know, I know. I get it. I. I understand. That's why it's like. I bring it up in passing. We kind of laugh about it.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, but I. But. But I will be better with it. But. But for a while, I was doing. The dishwasher wasn't working. It's super frustrating.

[Gabby Windy]

Okay, well, I got better pods and it's annoying. But you do just have to clean it.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah. Okay.

[Gabby Windy]

O. But it's okay. I genuinely believe that when we find a new place together, I'm gonna be like.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I'm the cleaner.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Like people.

[Gabby Windy]

I hope you are.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I am. I. I have.

[Gabby Windy]

I also like to clean, too. So it's like, I. Maybe we'll have a spotless house. I'm excited for you to have kind of free range to, like, decorate.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I think I'm getting sick.

[Gabby Windy]

You always think you're getting sick if you have one bout of lethargy.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah.

[Gabby Windy]

You're coming down with something. I know.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I don't know. We may have to try and record tomorrow morning.

[Gabby Windy]

It's okay, babe. Let's just get it.

[Caller]

It's okay.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Okay.

[Gabby Windy]

I think we're good.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Okay. But if we have to.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah, totally.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Okay. That makes me feel better.

[Gabby Windy]

No.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Okay, let's get to the questions.

[Gabby Windy]

Okay.

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[Robbie Hoffman]

Okay.

[Gabby Windy]

Okay. What's this one?

[Caller]

It's so funny that you all put.

[Gabby Windy]

This up because I was literally thinking.

[Caller]

Like, I wish I could ask Gabby for advice on this, but I am dating a man. And I've always known I was bisexual.

[Gabby Windy]

But lately I've been wondering if I might be gay.

[Caller]

But I've never been with a woman woman.

[Robbie Hoffman]

So if you're wondering it's not normal to wonder, send help.

[Caller]

What do I do?

[Robbie Hoffman]

You have to be with a woman. It's like, not normal. Straight girls don't wonder this. They buy, you know, they don't wonder this. Yeah, normal girls don't wonder this.

[Gabby Windy]

The last time, I remember the last time I hooked up with a guy and like, not sex, because I didn't want to. We were just like, making out. I don't like him. No, I don't give those either, babe. But I. I told him, like, straight up. Basically, I'm like, look, I want to date girls and I wish you were a girl. Like, that was. I remember thinking that vividly.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah.

[Gabby Windy]

Even though it wasn't terrible, he was a good looking guy, you know, But. But it was like, that's when I knew I was like, okay, I have to do this. And it was just like there, like in your subconscious or your conscious.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah. So that's it.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

So just date girls if you're thinking about it. Regular people aren't thinking about it.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Okay. Guys aren't thinking, oh, I want to be with a man. Unless they're gay. Bisexual. And if you've thought you're bisexual and you've never acted on it, and now you're leaning even more gay. Okay, you've had the male counterpart. Now dabble into the woman. As far as this relationship, I don't know how long she's dating this guy or what, but yeah, I mean, if.

[Gabby Windy]

You like him, if you think you. But I think you like it, you.

[Robbie Hoffman]

You're calling into a pod other people to do this. If I was him, I would not be happy.

[Gabby Windy]

Babe.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No.

[Gabby Windy]

We appreciate your phone call.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Of course we appreciate the phone call, but you have your answer.

[Gabby Windy]

Hi, Gabby.

[Caller]

This is not a question. This is me just wanting to say that I am literally so obsessed with your podcast, I Started listening after my girlfriend recommended it to me, and I'm so happy that I did. I follow both you and Robbie, and I'm so happy that I do. It's just so nice to see, like, the super mask super fem representation on, like, a celebrity scale. And my girlfriend and I always talk about how much you guys parallel us and, like, our relationship. We started dating not that far apart, and so we're both just like, obsessed with both of you and so happy.

[Gabby Windy]

That you have this platform A. I thought that was so sweet.

[Robbie Hoffman]

It's very sweet. It's extremely sweet.

[Gabby Windy]

And I think we're celest celebrities, babe.

[Robbie Hoffman]

We're the it couple. We are the it. JLo and Ben. Move over. There's a new it couple in town. Portia and Ellen. They live in the UK now.

[Caller]

Right.

[Robbie Hoffman]

So they're out composition. They're not, no. But who else? Who else do we have?

[Gabby Windy]

We have your friend Chrishell, Timmy and Kylie. I love them. Sue me.

[Robbie Hoffman]

But what dyke couples are there that. That are Major?

[Gabby Windy]

Renee, Rap and Tower Bird.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Oh, yeah, and then there's also, by the way.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah. No idea who they are.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No. There's also Holland Taylor and Sarah Paulson.

[Gabby Windy]

Oh, yeah. That's a sick one.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah. And then there's who else?

[Gabby Windy]

Oh, Francesca Fergaro. And she just had a baby. Two twins with a trans guy.

[Caller]

Guy.

[Robbie Hoffman]

It's pretty much us. But yeah, we're. We're holding up the entire community at this point. I don't know if I'm the right example for this, but thank you for your call. And yeah, like, when some people. I posted, like, our vacation pics and I'm topless in them because I cut my tits off. So there's nothing wrong with that. But. But some people are like, you know, like, you know, your tops. Like, people with the mask that she mentioned, the mask thing, it's like, oh, like, what's the difference? It's like, yeah, it's like I'm a girl, but something's wrong. Right. Like, regular girls don't think about cutting their tits off. Like something has gone awry.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

So there's definitely a gender thing too.

[Gabby Windy]

No, I. Hold on. Let me see.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Oh. Good night, Nardo.

[Gabby Windy]

Schluft.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Like me. I'm so tired.

[Gabby Windy]

I know, baby.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Gotta plug in the printer and print. Okay.

[Gabby Windy]

Okay.

[Caller]

Hey, guys. How are you? I have a question about gender expression on women loving women relationships. And I think that maybe Robbie can guide me through it. I've been feeling quite dysphoric about my chest Lately and I think has to do with the fact that I've been given strap on sex more often now. I've always been a fan of strap on sex. I've always felt like that was my thing and I've been getting good at it. I've been enjoying it. I've been dating women that really enjoy it and want me to do that. And I don't know that if that has to do with the fact that I feel dysphoric or maybe I've been feeling dysphoric my whole life and now that I, I've been taking like this more. I don't know, I don't wanna call it manly role in sex mainly, but I feel like I, for once in my life I feel like my chest part doesn't align with how I feel when I'm strapping. I don't know, it's, it's maybe confusing. I don't know how to explain it, but I wanted to know how Robbie feel about the, this if, if the sexual encounters that she had had anything to do with the decision of having the top surgery and how you guys, you know, deal with it. Because I know that you guys like strap on sex too.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I gotta get better at it.

[Caller]

There's roles there.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah, I, I, I think, I think there's a lot to unpack in your question. And I'll take this one unless you.

[Gabby Windy]

No, please. No, I can imagine. I feel what, what she's. Well, I can't because I'm not dysphoric. But it's like it maybe. Yeah, go ahead. I don't know if seeing like. Yeah, I don't know how anyone else would feel about it, but it's like if you are trying to or if you are feel like you're playing a more mask role and your titties are bouncing.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah, no, exactly. I mean you nailed it right there. But, but I'll say that for me it was old at all time. Like for me, I don't know that it had anything to do particular with me in sexual experiences. Yes. I, I, I, I'm very, you know, I was always more private and shy sexually in terms of, of undressing. So I would typically wear like a T shirt with my strap or something when I had tits. Still, still sometimes I like to wear a T shirt because I, you know, I'm shy a little bit in that way. But I would say for me it was kind of the day in and day out. Like I just wanted, I just like even scrolling on my phone, taking A bath, chilling on the couch. Like, I just, like, didn't like having a chest. I will say that I am somebody who did it probably a little bit later in life, you know, I think it's a big decision. I mean, I'm not somebody who even has a tattoo. And I always thought to myself, myself, I'll get there. But I was like, 30, so not maybe late, but I know that people are getting.

[Gabby Windy]

You were later.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah, no, 30, but.

[Gabby Windy]

Oh, wow. So you let it for a long time. Oh, why? Because I. Oh, okay.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I may be somebody who got it, you know, like, because I did it kind of in my 30s. I don't know. I know people are getting it younger, but I'm somebody who doesn't even have a tattoo. So that's something I would think about. I used to think, like, well, you know, everybody's getting tattoos. This is how I know. Like, people like, it's trendy. I'm like, well, tattoos everybody got. And I never got them. And they're certainly trendy, which. Which fair. Some people do get them for a trend. Not for me. I always, you know, trying to think about me for personal decisions, obviously. So I thought, well, if I ever do want a tattoo, I'll think about it for while, a. A year. If I still want the tattoo in a year, then I'll get it. As soon as I heard about top surgery, I wanted it. I'm like, ah. Because by then I'd been wearing compression bras, like sports bras, maybe one or two.

[Gabby Windy]

Was it hard to breathe?

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah, it was very hard. It was always so tight. It was terrible.

[Gabby Windy]

It's like a waist trainer.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah.

[Gabby Windy]

I used to. One time a nurse sold me one on one of my nursing contracts. She's like, you want a waist trainer? I was like, sure. So I wore it on my, like, 12 hour shifts, six days a week. It gave me anxiety. I was such anxiety.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Take it off. Like, taking off my bra felt way better than anybody else taking off their bra, I imagine. And then I moved to. There was such a good binder company that worked for a really long time. I think they were called CGB2 or something like that, where they made way.

[Gabby Windy]

More confused with House of cb.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Right. They made way more comfortable or BCBG in Canada, but they made one made way more comfortable compression, like binders. So not quite a broad. Flatter than that, but still comfortable. But still it was. I did for a long time. As soon as I heard about top surgery, I wanted it, but I didn't do it right away. I said to myself, well, if I wanted a tattoo, I'd wait a year to see if I wanted top surgery. Two years. So I took two years. I was still binding. But during that two years, I researched it. I looked at everybody who's had, had it, problems with it, complications that could happen, good surgeries, bad surgeries, how insurance and health care and that nightmare works. So I had that time to do it and I gave myself, okay, if you still like, it wasn't egging on me anymore because I said, if you still want it in two years, you'll get it. Like, it was like not right.

[Gabby Windy]

When you feel like there's a fix and kind of on the horizon.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah, it's like, okay, right?

[Gabby Windy]

Your mind, it takes up like less headspace because you're like, okay, well I can fix this actually in a little bit. So we'll see. If it's something.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I'm not gonna do it the second I want something because that's impulsive. It's a big, It's. Yeah, I didn't want it to feel impulsive. But then at the same time, like, okay, it seems like, like even six months since wanting it or 15 months into still one, I was like, wow, you still really want it? Not at the two year mark, you know, so there's things like that. So. But for me, the sexual plays into some. I. I feel bad admitting getting this. I like to top and to strap, but I don't have a great rhythmic sensibility about me. I know people have seen me dance or, you know, my version of dance, but I do want to get better at it and I do think sexually, yes, my top has helped me, but also it's mostly like one of my favorite things about having top surgery, just putting a T shirt on. Like, I get out of shower, I put a T shirt on. It's the greatest thing I will say. You know, a lot of people, they're like, you know people, because did you.

[Gabby Windy]

Ever not wear a bra? Would you ever just let them hang?

[Robbie Hoffman]

No. Yeah, at home, I, I relaxed I at home. But a lot of people tell me like, oh, you post your top surgery or whatever, it. It influences other people to get it. I'm like, guys, that's actually not going to be a deterrent for me because anybody who speaks to me about wanting to have surgery, I'm like, it is way better than I even thought it was. You should get it.

[Gabby Windy]

Like, I, why is that a bad influence? Why are people like gonna tell you that you're a bad influence? What if It's a good influence.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I will outwardly tell they have to make their own decisions that like to get it. Like if you're thinking about I'm like do it. It's way better than I even thought it was. And in the end for me it was way better than I thought it was. Like I was. I also had this thing about regret. Like let's say I regret it. And the way I worked that around in the two years that I was thinking about this is like I was so. No, I was so worried about regret. But I thought if I don't do it, I'll have regret too. Like if I. If I keep my tits. I know this experience is not working for me. Like this experience with tiffs sucks. Let's say I get top surgery and it sucks. Okay, we're back to square one. It sucked both ways. So top surgery at least gave me the option. Maybe it won't suck. I knew this sucked and I'd been living a long time with it sucking. So top surgery. If it did suck, okay, you know, then we're back to where we were. So the regret piece was like worked out for me. I do think, you know, if you're young or you're not sure about how you want or whatever, great.

[Gabby Windy]

I also think like everything it's better to make those decisions when you're older.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I also had almost no nipple sensation before. Like I wasn't somebody who like nipple play. Like if my nipples were touched, it does. It's no nor here nor there for me. Like it's never done anything. So for me I knew there was a loss of feeling which I didn't end up having so much of because my chest was always. It was average size. I wasn't huge and I wasn't tiny. I was like a B. So. And they've gotten very good at micro surgery and connecting the nerves. So my feeling is okay. But I know for some people who are mask and they want to. They also love their nipples being touched. So it is a problem for them. They have to look at. There are different kinds of tops preserve but yeah, you have to think about it. But I wouldn't say that it was just sex. Me and sex.

[Gabby Windy]

It's more like the dysphoria. Like it just.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah, it's more the day in and the day out. Like I would do it, you know.

[Gabby Windy]

But maybe that's the first sign. Well cuz the caller that we had, maybe it's like one. Maybe she's got. I don't know what like the her journey, her what a queer journey has been like. But maybe this is like a first time. Then maybe she doesn't know that she feels like it all the time. Or maybe it is just during sex.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah. And give yourself and. And what you can do during sex is. You can wear a T shirt. Yeah, you can, you know, you can feel better if you know, you can try and get comfortable. That's always the first.

[Gabby Windy]

If you're always. If you're afraid of what somebody else thinks, like, because it's like, it's more when she's like strapping, playing the mask role, then it's like just ask them. But I wouldn't care either.

[Robbie Hoffman]

What do you mean more though?

[Gabby Windy]

What they think like the person you're having sex with.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, I think for me it would feel more. Sex to me is so mental that if I'm strapping, I don't. And I want to feel like more mask. Like I get that. I. I wouldn't. Yeah, yeah. I. You just want to feel as much you as you can when you're doing sex. Cuz it's so intimate. But I was going to say something in your yamaka. I was going to say something.

[Gabby Windy]

That's okay, babe, we.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I want to. Hold on, hold on. There was one more to her thing. It was like. But.

[Gabby Windy]

Okay, baby, it'll come back to you. If it comes back to you, let me know.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Hold on, babe. No, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

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[Robbie Hoffman]

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[Robbie Hoffman]

I don't know.

[Gabby Windy]

Okay. Right. Okay.

[Caller]

So my question is, Gabby, knowing that you have dated men in the past, most notably in front of the US on tv, how do you guys, you and Robbie, make sure that there's security in your relationship around you wanting to be in a queer relationship and that this is what you ultimately want, knowing that Robbie is not a CIS male. Would love to know kind of how you go about that. And if, assuming you do feel secure.

[Gabby Windy]

What'S led to that we were kind of talking about this the other day with a friend and this girl being like, well, I don't know if I'm ready to commit to this lesbian relationship because I'm still struggling with, like, my bisexuality. But I feel like in a relationship, relationship, it's just not. I understand, definitely. And you. And everyone knows I change my mind all the time. I'm in a different part of lesbianism every five seconds. But for me, it's just like we're in a relationship. It's kind of. Which I. I don't want to simplify too much, but it's like, if you're worried about someone stepping out, I don't think it's gonna be because of gender. It's going to be because of their personality. But I feel like I'm just so in the relationship that. Yeah, I guess I just. Just, like, don't see the gender. And I'm so happy with you that I can't believe I get to live a happy relationship.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I love it, too. I mean, for me, the way I explain it is like, I think people are very curious about me being insecure about Gabby wanting hot guys or something like this. And for me, I actually feel like if you're into me, you're kind of like. I feel like I'm such a rare breed. Like, what is even going on with me? How. What is this? Even that if you're into this, there's not much. Like, I could be into Gabby for many reasons. I understand why the world loves Gabby. I could be into her because she's brilliant or beautiful or funny or. Or sexy or all the things. If you're into me, you really just sting to me, baby. But I'm just saying. I'm just saying, it's like, I understand why the world might be into you, but Gabby has some type of mental illness that makes her into me. And it's such a particular flavor and taste that I'm like, actually, I feel fin time, like.

[Gabby Windy]

And I would take it over and over again.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I feel security. I'm like, she's into me. Like, if you're into me, I'm, like, so secure because I'm like, there's something like. That's a. I feel like cilantro or something.

[Gabby Windy]

I will say, like, back to her question. Whatever had dealing with, like, not dating assist me, and it was something that I dealt with. I'm like, am I? But I feel like. I don't know if it was, like, internalized homophobia almost. Almost where I'm still Like, there was a part of me that's like, oh, I still felt the need that I'm not. Haven't been completed without being with a man. Like, it would still give me my worth. But it's gotten better the longer we've been together. Like, every time I'm around heterosexual couples, like, on our trip in Cabo, I'm like, oh, I actually feel like being with you is a relief. So I never felt like that was right. And I hated chasing it, and I hated feeling the pressure. I'm sorry. I had something.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I just. The weirdest.

[Gabby Windy]

But it was. It didn't happen. Like, I know I'm being whatever LA about it, but it didn't happen overnight. I dealt with, like, a lot of it in the beginning, but actually, my. And sometimes I would, like, dream about it. It would be, like, nightmares. So having, like, the good dream where I was like, no, I don't want any of this. I feel like, was actually so refreshing and, like, just made me feel good.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah. I don't know. I. I can. And I just let her just deal with that on her own. Like, it had nothing to do with me. Like, I don't know. It's never. We're. While we're in a relationship, we're also on our own journey. So we have a journey together. We're on our own, unfortunately.

[Gabby Windy]

I want to be together only one journey. I could wear your skin.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah. Give it to me. So. Yeah, I don't know. Like. Yeah, I. I guess. I guess it's the Gabby's earlier point, too. Like, is she worried I'm into girls? Is she worried I'm gonna like other girls?

[Gabby Windy]

I'm not worried you're gonna like other girls. I'm worried that naivel will get into a situation that will end in disaster.

[Robbie Hoffman]

What do you mean?

[Gabby Windy]

Well, because sometimes girls DM you or I swear, are interested in you, and you're like, no, babe, it's just this, like. Like one time you had a DM early on when we started dating, and you're like, who's this girl? She's. She's one of your friends. I'm like, I don't know.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Her friends were adding me, so.

[Gabby Windy]

I know, but it was like, she was like, she was gorgeous. She had blonde hair. Like, she was clearly just sliding into your dms, but using Gabby.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Like, so. I don't.

[Gabby Windy]

But it's like, you have obviously a lot of girlfriends, too, so I just. Just so you know, I always have one eye open.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Well, by the way, just so. Because. So you all know Gabby is in my phone 20 foot. Like, if I'm writing literally anyone, my sister, any dms. I do get dms. And I get DMS about comedy, too. She's right there.

[Gabby Windy]

Oh, it's so crazy. I do that to my friends, too, though. Does it bother you?

[Robbie Hoffman]

No. But also, you're like, yeah. So she's like, don't message that girl back. I'm like, okay, goodbye. Like, I just don't care what's going on at all.

[Gabby Windy]

No. Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

And people know not to with me. When somebody hit on me and I wrote back to them, I said, I'm in a very happy relationship.

[Gabby Windy]

Somebody hit on you?

[Robbie Hoffman]

Like, somebody early on wrote me a message. Like, if it doesn't work out with Gabby or whatever I said. So rude.

[Gabby Windy]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Like that. You're not rooting for me.

[Gabby Windy]

Right? Right.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Like, I took it like, it's not giving what you think it's giving.

[Gabby Windy]

No. And that's like. I feel like that's, like, straight behavior. I'm always surprised to see this kind of behavior in lesbian. But it's like, it's. It just happens, me saying lesbianism like it's an illness.

[Robbie Hoffman]

It is an illness. It's something very wrong.

[Gabby Windy]

Okay, let's do. Let's see.

[Caller]

Hi, Gabby and R. So I have been with my boyfriend now for a year and a half.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Sorry.

[Caller]

We have a baby who is crying right now. We got pregnant after four months together. We're so happy. We love each other. We love our baby. Everything's great. Except for the fact that I had my bi awakening while we were together.

[Robbie Hoffman]

It's not going great.

[Caller]

You're.

[Robbie Hoffman]

You're keeping up appearances.

[Caller]

Monogamous.

[Robbie Hoffman]

So rewind.

[Caller]

What do I do?

Have to, like, flick my bean to scissoring porn now for the rest of my life? What's your advice?

[Gabby Windy]

I love the expression and flick your.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Bean, by the way, because that's my favorite Gabby flicks.

[Gabby Windy]

My bean, I think. I don't know. I. I guess I just don't know because I feel like my awakening came at such a good time. Literally on the couch when I was like, I wish this was a girl, and I was not in a relationship, and I was able. And then I found you right away, so it feels like. Kisma.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I found you. I found you lying on the floor. You found me? You found me. So it's gonna be my.

[Gabby Windy]

So I don't know. I don't. I don't want to make anything, but it's like, you guys, you're always giving up something, whether you're giving up the. Or giving up the dick to be in a relationship.

[Robbie Hoffman]

You're giving up to be in a relationship. That's the whole thing. It's like, it's kind of so weird because I'm like, you're so happy, but.

[Gabby Windy]

It'S like, but you feel like something's missing. So maybe, yeah, you're not that happy.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Maybe you're not that happy. But also it's the kind of thing that, like, I guess I've spoke to this in somewhat like. I. I think I'm okay dealing with temptation. I grew up kosher. All I wanted was a nugget. All I wanted was a McDonald's nugget. If I get a nugget, I was happy. All the non Jewish kids down the block, they'd go down, they'd have Happy Meals. I thought, I want to be happy. Why can't I have a happy Meal? Okay. I would smell, I would get a waft of their nuggets dipping into honey, whatever it was doing, and I would want that. And then I would go inside my house, my mother would have stew or meatloaf or God knows what. And even though it wasn't my desired meal when I was eight years old, I was full and satisfied and, and the temptation left me. I didn't think about the nugget for the rest of the night or whatever until maybe a few days later. I, you know, so I'm very good with not having everything I want, but having most of what I want.

[Gabby Windy]

Do you have everything you want now?

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah, but I think that what you give up when you're in a relations is like some people, you know, they struggle. They, they want to have, they want to have their cake like they want to. They want to be in a relationship and they want to have a hookup. You know, a lot of gay men have this arrangement where, where they've worked it out. And I think it's a man's, you know, I think I agree it's not for the faint of heart. This is for gay men. Be in a relationship and have your cake and eaten too. I think lesbians, you're monogamous to the day you die. We're penguins, we're together. Nobody's going nowhere. You're not looking nowhere. Okay? Okay. And then straight people get to cheat. That's what you have, okay. Gay people get to have the open relationship, whatever. So. But in every relationship, yeah, you're giving up encounters with other people. That's what a committed Relation. That's the hard part, I guess, of the commitment. Beyond all the stuff about getting to know somebody and really factoring somebody into your life and becoming one. But the, the kind of. What are the factors? The external factors are your, your, your giving up other encounters. So I think it goes back to Gabby's previous answer to the prior question about like, yeah, you just want to be like, like girl or guy if you want somebody else. Like, right. You have to like, maybe, yeah, maybe.

[Gabby Windy]

In like the forefront of like the very front part of your lobe. It's like, oh my God, my life is so much more complicated because I like both genders. So now it's like I can't choose. But also it's just like if you're monogamous, miss, you can only be with one person. And if you don't want to be with that person, date around.

[Robbie Hoffman]

See, but here's the whole thing with dating around. Seeing, it's like we think the grass is greener. Like I think there's something very worthwhile in a long term, I think the love and it's getting better and security and which people said like, they kind.

[Gabby Windy]

Of like gaslit me. They're like, oh my God, you're self sabotaging. Because I couldn't like be in a relationship with someone for maybe longer than six months. And on paper they were fine, but I'm like, I just can't do it. And then finally I found someone who, who I really want to be in a relationship with. And like we go to therapy, we actively work, work on it.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Like we really keep getting better. No, but we wanted to keep getting better. You know, we did there. We both watched couples therapy when we first started dating and we kind of floated the idea like literally weeks into dating. Like, you know how they say you're supposed to do therapy? Yeah. How many months? Like three months. Yeah, we were like, they're supposed, it was saying you should do this is why you should do therapy when you're good. And obviously we were mad, like in love. But we are both in a financial bracket where we could afford to do therapy. So I'm not saying it's like I understand that, but it's like it actually makes us like we got to have one of our first fights, like with a therapist, which just felt like really good. But some people don't think that that's a worthwhile endeavor. They want, you know, they, they, they, they want the immediacy, the short term, whatever it is. And I can't wait to see what does 10 years of love look like what is 15 years? I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but I think it's a worthwhile pursuit. I think there's the case for you, if you do leave this man and your family, that you'll end up, you know, getting your bean flicked off a couple times and being like, oh my God, but I gave up this deeper, harder thing. Something that's hard. Often times can be very worthwhile. And it can be a very hard life also to just go from being flick to being flicked to being flick. That's a very lonely life too.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

So there's definitely, I think when we're happy or stable and content, there's always an impetus for look for something wrong or to. And to focus on that thing.

[Gabby Windy]

But also always here on Long Winded, do whatever the you want.

[Robbie Hoffman]

But it's okay to have a longing and let that be a longing.

[Gabby Windy]

Right.

[Robbie Hoffman]

If it gets too serious, talk about it, figure out. You'll know.

[Gabby Windy]

And I'm a firm believer in like, you'll know when you're. When you know, it's like people who don't want to break up with their partner, it's like, okay, don't do it right now, but you'll know when you need to. Well, it always comes.

[Robbie Hoffman]

It's like, it's like that couple that we were speaking about that you, you alluded to before, it's like, you know, this person was like somewhat cheating. You know, they were like, they were realizing, you know, they were with. With a woman and realizing that they might be bisexual and want a guy and whatever. And they were like, not cheating, but emotionally cheating with this guy and spent some time IRL with this guy and whatever. And it's like, it's much harder, harder to keep the peace in the relationship. Some people, they. Whether we grew up in chaos, sometimes we don't realize that it's actually easier to live in chaos if you grow up in chaos. That the drama, you feed drama into your life, you might get drama every day living together. Yeah, but.

[Gabby Windy]

But it's fun drama.

[Robbie Hoffman]

You might have a partner and you might be always wanting. Some people are always chasing the drama subconsciously. They're like, why is everybody mad at me? Why am I always having fights? Why this? But they might have a security in keeping the drama. But there's actually something a lot more dramatic and that is keeping the peace. Keeping. Keeping the relationship is its own drama. And it's not the chaotic drama. It's. It's the. It's the hard earned drama, but it's as dramatic in a pot in a better way. Keeping the peace is as dramatic, but it's the harder thing to do. It's the harder drama to maintain. Easier to do the blow up.

[Gabby Windy]

I think you just have to know that about yourself too. Because I feel, I felt like that in the beginning, beginning of our relationship. And I'm like, no, I'm not one of those people who just like feel safe in quiet and comfort and contentment. But then sure enough, so it's, it's actually like possible to change. And I mean, today I cried in bed because I was so proud of you. I'm like, having those feelings were worth, like working for and everything that we've been through because normally I don't give a.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, we give so much of a. About each other. Like, we'll do like if we hear there's something good to do for your relationship. Relationship. We did on my birthday, she did some type of reading because we were like, oh, we're liking the therapy. Then she did some reading which, remember on my birthday, some.

[Gabby Windy]

You didn't like that?

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, I, I didn't like this lady because it was my birthday.

[Gabby Windy]

Okay, let's just do one more. Maybe. Let's just.

[Robbie Hoffman]

But like, we're always into maintaining the drama of our relationship, which is a really okay drama.

[Caller]

Hi, Gabby. I'm really sick right now, so I sound crazy, but I just wanted to say that I love you and I think that you're the best thing to come out of the Bachelor franchise. So I' dating my boyfriend for about two years now, and he's seriously the kindest man. And I have a lot of trauma with men and so he's just so gentle and like, kind with me. And I don't know, he's just everything I've ever wanted in a man. But sometimes he can be a little bit like, he hasn't really explored the world and hasn't really gone outside a lot lot. Like, he comes from a small town and he's not had a lot of exposure to things and I just wanted to know if there's anything I can do to like, change that because I don't ever. I want to marry this man. Like, but. And I want to travel with him, but it feels like his job and with everything he's. He's doing right now, it's like, it's not really like in. In the future, the soonish future. And I don't know how do I navigate that this. Because I love him so much, but I'm someone who wants to travel the world, and he talks about how he wants to, too, but I've traveled to Hawaii with him before, and he's just, like, scared of the ocean and all this stuff, and it's just. Yeah. I don't know what to do. Thank you so much.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I mean, how important is that to you? You know, I don't know if it's deal break. You have to decide what's deal breaker or what's not. You know, in any relationship, like. Like Gabby was saying earlier, it's always a compromise. Anything that you do has. Has a compromise to some extent. Ideally, the positive outweighs by far. You know, if this is like, the highest thing on your list that you need to travel the world or something, you know, I probably lean more to your boyfriend. I'm not somebody. We just went to Mexico and I loved it, but I'm not somebody who has that, like, travel bug. But.

[Gabby Windy]

No, but you naturally travel for work. We travel a lot. I'm kind of on the opposite side. You sound young. And you will find another boyfriend who's nice if. If this is something.

[Robbie Hoffman]

She wants to marry him.

[Gabby Windy]

Okay, well, right now. But I don't know if this is important. I mean, my thing that I'm kind of getting, like, taking away from it is like, she's afraid to live a boring life. And I can really relate to that. And I feel like how. However much I will bitch and compl. I'll come here after every trip and tell you how terrible it is. I do like to see it, and I feel like getting out of. And I know it's not feasible for everybody, but they'll be like, oh, no. Kind of, like stuck, like, going through it. They, like, know everybody in the town. I'm like, I know it's expensive and it can be, but try and move to a bigger city. Even, like, you know, sometimes I. I wish I could have spent more time in New York when I was younger. So I feel like it teaches you so much and it's just not boring. There's so much life there. But. Yeah, no, but there's a lot. Lot of nice dudes in the world.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Okay, well. But. But if you do love this man, I would say this is the first thing. And this is the first thing for a lot of the calls we got today. Did you tell your boyfriend all. Everything you told us?

[Gabby Windy]

You got to talk to him about it. Yes.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Did you tell him everything? Tell him all that. Tell him this is something that's Been weighing on me. This is something that's really important to me. Can we get a plan going that we can have a trip maybe next year? Can we start putting a little bit of money away every month that we can try and make a trip happen next year and travel. Travel with him. If you're willing. If, if, if you're willing to be patient and you want to marry and he's not averse to going somewhere, then maybe really talk to him about it. This actually is a bigger deal than I realized it was to me. And I would like, like to explore. I understand you're not well versed or whatever, and I'm happy to be your guide to show you more about the world or whatever. You know what I mean? You can take the reins on that and be like, will you come with, with me? Will you make efforts to. If you're working a ton to put some money away for this life experience?

[Gabby Windy]

Like, I get it. You kind of like, you want that. I feel like you have a ton just like living in your childhood and stuff. And I love hearing about it. I love being around somebody with life experience.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, exactly. But if you're young, you don't have, you know, if you're young, maybe you don't have so much life experience. And it'll come with experience.

[Caller]

Hi, Gabby. I kind of have a situation where my on again, off again ex started hooking up with this girl who's a friend of his that hates my guts. So I decided that I would get a little revenge and start trying to hook up with her brother.

[Robbie Hoffman]

We love you.

[Caller]

Little did I know I was gonna be hooking up with my on again, off again ex as well. And it feels like it's starting to get messy. And I feel like I should not get revenge on people and just focus on inner peace. But I don't know what to do.

[Gabby Windy]

It doesn't sound like you.

[Caller]

Just focus on the brother. Should I leave everybody alone? Should I have a real conversation with my ex? I don't know.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Please. Okay. On and off, off again. X. This is nothing.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Okay. He's not like, like, like, no.

[Gabby Windy]

What impression birds is not gonna talk about.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Yeah. And you don't need. If you're. If you're. If you're single, have fun. You're able to do whatever you want to do.

[Gabby Windy]

I love Ma and that's that.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Be safe and just whatever. Like, you're not marrying the on and off, off again ex like that. It's over. If he's left you once. It's it's done. If you've left him, it's done. Okay, so I, I, I don't know. I don't really see who, who, who hurts here. Yeah, let's, is it you guys in the end who's gonna be hurt? The friend you like.

[Gabby Windy]

They're all everybody feelings. Yeah, no, it's fine. I think you should just keep doing uc. Call back with, with the outcome, please.

[Robbie Hoffman]

I meant if it blows up, call us back. We're following closely.

[Gabby Windy]

Yeah. Okay. On that note.

[Robbie Hoffman]

Okay. I am Robbie Hoffman. Follow me on everything. My podcast. My podcast Too Far will hopefully be coming back in the new year. We have a couple episodes bank. There's some logistical issues we've got to work out. There's some politics behind the scenes. But I am Robbie Hoffman on Instagram and, and, and, and this is my, my girlfriend Gabby Windy, who I love very much and I was very nervous when I first started talking on this podcast. It takes me a second.

[Gabby Windy]

We always. You're our favorite guest. Everybody loves.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, not when I'm not when I'm talking.

[Gabby Windy]

Yes, always articulate about on purpose because all of us need to be educated. You're so smart.

[Robbie Hoffman]

No, but I'm not like, but I'm not here to mansplain and educate and talk at you or talk at anyone.

[Gabby Windy]

It's fine on a podcast.

[Robbie Hoffman]

That's why I love you and everybody loves you. I love you. All right, Chris.

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