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The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Oh, welcome back, you perverts. You didn't go anywhere really, did you? You don't have anywhere to go. I had to adjust. I did. I did. I saw. I saw the concert where Justin Bieber came out on stage and he had really, like, sagging pants and then he was like, you know, grabbing the crotch. Grabbing like, no, he's not that down low. That's not down low. Like that. That was just me got my long pussy lips just in the first three minutes. I will get demonetized on YouTube. But please, please, YouTube. If you're watching. I don't want to go back in and bless the. The dollar sign icon button. Okay, so what? It's yellow. Just look at it now. It's not that bad. It's a joke. It's satirical. I don't want to censor myself for you. For money. It's like, how much money am I missing out on, actually? And they said $7 per thousand views. Sometimes when I talk about these things, I was about to. I think by this time maybe it'll be out, but I went on a podcast which is like, who needs to drink and forget what they say and have anxiety afterwards and think about what life means and why are we living it? Because it's just way too nerve wracking and stressful. Who needs to drink when you can just go on a podcast and have all the same feelings? You cannot keep a pit bull's name out of your mouth. I'm sure, I'm sure. I know. I bet I've met nice pit bulls, but the other part of them are not doing the nice one any justice. And those are your brethren. Anyways, I wish I could shut the fuck up, but I can't. So here he goes. Another ding. I forgot. I forgot what I was saying already. Can you. Can you blame her? Oh, my. Let me take a sip. I need a sip. Okay, well, now that we know my anxiety is barely being managed, let's get into it. And welcome back to another episode of Long Winded for Fox sake. Oh, God. Dear God, thank you. Oh, yeah. $7 per thousand views. I did the math. I have a potato case because SZA has one. But when I leave, if I'm, like, going, I'll, like, change it because I don't know if it's like, too. If it's, like, too labubu. I don't. I don't. I don't need. I know it might be cultural. I don't need a stuffy thing on My keys. Because it's going to get dirty. Have you ever seen the bottom of my purse? It's disgust, disgusting. It looks like if you put the bottom of your trash can mix with your garbage disposal and put it on the bottom my purse and spread it around. I don't even know what the fuck is in there. It's like. It's like hash from an old joint. It's like lip liner shavings. If there's nowhere to shave, the lip liners you just got to do in your purse. I cannot have lip liner shavings. Just willy nilly in the car. Or I'll do it in the cup holder. Yes, but in Robbie's card. Forget it. And then it's like gum wrapped in these various substances. It's like, no, I don't need a labo boo. I just. I just don't need it. And I am an adult, but to each their own. Please enjoy. And if it's exclusive, maybe I will come around. Maybe I will. Because it's like. Because I never got on the hello Kitty thing, but then I saw a rice maker on Amazon that was like 25 more. And I was like, do I need the hello Kitty? Because it's more expensive and it. It's exclusive. And does this mean I have taste? I'm calling in a certain audience this. Am I the hello Kitty? I don't know. Okay, let's do. Okay, let's see you guys. No. Okay, let's go. I'm not even getting. Let's say someone gets 500,000 views. So divided by a thousand, I think times seven. Okay. $3,500, which in YouTube you used to make millions. And I'm not even getting close to this. People who are getting these kinds of views are getting like $20,000 an ad read. Not me. So YouTube's like, monetize, monetize, monetize. It's like, theoretically, how much money am I actually missing out? They're like, a lot for me to be censored and not call you a pervert in a loving way. Let me see me. Let me see me. Average 20,000. Okay, wait. Okay, we can do 21 $40 per episode. I'm racking my brain for things that. For research, for journalistic, high quality research. For things that I think you're going to find interesting and come around for $140. The neighbors can hear. You know, I used to be a nurse. Unless you're new here and now you'll never unlearn it. And I was an ICU nurse. So sometimes I would get to work and I'd be so nervous. Obviously your Mima and papa's life is in these two delicate little hands. So before I'd go in, I'd have to. I'd. I'd want to meditate. I need to collect my breaths into one steady pace. I wanted to collect myself with my breaths, you know, and clear my mind for a second, ground myself. And I would use Headspace honestly. And you know what? It would help. It would help. And I'm not the only one. It helps 100 million people with their mental health and well being with guided meditation, mindfulness practices, breathing and calming exercises, and so much more. It helps you reduce stress, boost your mood and sleep better. I just look. And sometimes I would do it on my lunch break to get out of the chaos that is the hospital, lock myself in a room and meditate for 10 minutes. And honestly, I felt better. I was able to be more present. And then, and then I could find life honestly funnier because I was paying attention as lists in my head. But Headspace has these quick on the go programs that help me get into the right headspace in just a few minutes. They have over a thousand hours of mindfulness exercises. So need I say more? Feel good and mean it when you say it for a limited time. Get headspace free for 60 days. Go to headspace.com gabbywindy that's h e a d s p a c e dot com gabbywindy to unlock all of headspace free for 60 days headspace.com gabbywinde this podcast is sponsored to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs entrepreneur to stand out, stand out already and make yourself different and successful. And this is how you do it with Squarespace. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website and engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time. Time is money people. Do I have to tell you all in one place, all on your terms. And they have many product features. Let me tell you. They have design intelligence to empower anyone to build a beautiful, more personalized website tailored to their unique needs to Squarespace payments. Now we're talking the easiest way to manage your payments in one place. And they can connect all your social and multimedia accounts in a few clicks. They they'll organize your icons, your direct links and embed them to your feeds if you want. You know, you. You would have no idea how to do any of this. I know Because I know you and I know where you're getting your information, which is me. So. So they really do it all. Honestly. Go to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're Ready to launch squarespace.com Gabby to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Anyways, okay, so I guess now we can switch gears. I've been doing some thinking. Scary. I've been thinking about some diseases. You guys know I have a medical background, so obviously I have an interest in the human body. So what. What have you had an interest in lately? Besides dungeon Dragon? Should I get into gaming? Or is that pick me because like dudes game. But maybe I just would like something to. But I can't because I always have to consume. So I can learn for you and regurgitate it every week whether it's right or wrong and whether I have comprehended appropriately. I'm sure I haven't. So I'm going to tell you about some of my favorite diseases as of late. Robbie's coming home with dinner, but I have a nail appointment up at 6. I think she forgot, so I can't have her steak. She makes two things. I was like, oh, let's eat in tonight. Let's cook. And she's like, okay, you want steak and salm? Obviously it's my only option. Oh, obviously I wasn't going to have a choice in the matter. Okay, so some of my favorite disease. I'll start with pica. Pica. Pica. What is pica even stand for? Do you guys know Pica? I. I love an excuse to say pica. I. I love an excuse to think about pika. I love an excuse to do anything pica related. Oh, yeah, that's pica. I love telling someone that they have pica because they like a weird mix of foods in their mouth at once. Pica. You like sucking on that D. Pica. You have a disease. Pica. Acronym. Meaning? Well, it is. It is a mental health. So maybe that's right up my alley. Okay, hold on. Oh. Oh my God, I'm dead. Oh, you guys. Oh, Pica just got a little more disgusting. This is what you're eating. This is what you're eating. The next time you decide to put your boyfriend's contaminated member in your mouth. Pica means magpie. You're putting a. Oh, what is magpie again? It's like. What do you call those things? Oh my God. They're not worms. They're disgusting. And they like procreate with each other. What am I thinking of. Anyways, magpies are known for their tendency to collect and eat a variety of items leading to the association with this eating disorder. That is crazy. That is crazy. And whoever dubbed that. Okay, so I kind of already. I kind of already told you what. What it's like when you eat. When you. When you have a craving to eat things that aren't edible. So I already gave you your example, you disgusting freak. But it's like you. When you eat dirt, is an easy one. Kind of boring. Some people eat dirt. This one lady was eating rocks, her poor teet. Oh, she didn't give a. She was not worried about her dental. No, she probably made him stronger over the years because she's exposing them to so much erosion that they become actually resistant to this rock that she is biting on a whole rock, a huge rock. But she does like. She prefers them. Sometimes she'll just like, lick on it, suck on it, bite on a little corner. Sometimes that's okay. But she likes to travel with. And she will do it in public. She'll hammer it down, sledgehammer it down, and then put little rock pieces in a pill bottle because obviously it's a prescription. She'll do it. She has that. She has to do it. She gets cravings. I don't know how often they last. Oh, you imagine pike is boring me? No, you are. Anyways, so she's doing plastic. Was one plastic fork. You just really like the. The risk of being stabbed with the end of. Of the fork. I bet they would really like those toothpicks that come in the drinks that come in your Miami Vice, you gay boy, filled with the pineapple and cherry. Oh, she would go to town on that. She would love that. Yeah. She just folds up the plastic. She loves it. Nothing satiates her more. All of these examples were on my strange addiction, which I think my strange addiction could have just been called a series on pica. This is if you have a strange addiction, it's pica. But it's like. What do you call somebody who maybe likes the melting and the texture of a merengue? Pica, you freak. That's chalk. So that's one of my favorites is pica Magpie. And then. And then this has. I've been hearing and reading about long Covid. I. I was fed. I was fed a headline, an article that said celebrities with long Covid. Number one, Gwyneth Paltrow. Number two, Lena Dunham. Okay. Okay. Not that I don't think they're great at what they do. They're real artists. I loved Gwyneth Paltrow in her ski trial. And I love Lena Dunham Girls. I mean, that is a masterpiece. That was a canon event for culture for me. I have never seen anything that meant so much to me, you know, at a very important time in my life. But if you hear those two names talking about a questionable syndrome, I don't know if it's going to do the best for. For said syndrome's credibility. Believability. People are. You're Covid Denier. No, I literally worked in the pandemic as a nurse for one of you new here who came from Kylie Jenner's Instagra and now wants to listen to the podcast. And you don't believe and you don't want to hear the kinds of things that I'm saying. Oh, I'm not a covet Denier. Everybody else was a covet Denier. I'll tell you that much. I'll tell you that much. But not me. I really believed it. I saw it firsthand. Terrible. But any. So there's things. It's like. There's these broad symptoms from long Covid. It's. They won't even call it like a syndrome or a post viral symptom or a secondary effect or whatever. Whatever does it make. No, no, no. This is long Covid. It. It affects your mental. You can't think straight. You can't go to work. You're massively depressed. Welcome to my life. I don't think I have long Covid. I think I'm severely traumatized because of my zodiac sign and the way I was brought up. And I had Covid three times. But it was this way before, that's for sure. I did lose my smell for a long time. But finally it's back. You don't ever know when it's going to come back. And then you. I can smell the ground when it rained. One of my favorite odiferouses. Let's see. Because there is a thing like. Obviously you could have very serious lung issues. You have a lung injury from COVID 19. This is common with any kind of a virus. Yeah. Maybe I have a problem. Maybe here I'm going to have a problem with the name and how it's being used. Who cares? I get to get into the weeds for no good reason. Because I'm a medical provider. Was unlicensed. You are. And there are things post viral cardiac issues. Post viral lung issues because your lungs got really damaged if you weren't breathing right. So it was like my dad hasn't been able to breathe. It's like. Yeah, because he's all up from COVID He doesn't have long Covid. We're sensationalizing these words. We're creating new buzzwords just to tear us apart politically. Politically, just a different way to talk about it. Who cares? I don't care. I literally don't care. Sure, he has long it. That's the thing is it doesn't bother me any, except kinda. Then there's some. Yeah, I bet you can have some kind of cognitive symptoms afterwards. If you were anoxic, if there was no oxygen going to your brain at that time, you're going to suffer anoxic brain injury. That's a real thing. But definitely brain injury. Oh. The most common symptom of long Covid is sleep problems. You guys, this is coming from the Mayo Clinic. Headache. It's like, please, please just help me help you. Give me a little something more specific. Chest pain or tightness. Yes, you can get post viral cardiac issues. It's terrible. I guess feeling fatigue, feeling tired, weakness, Brain fog. Yes, your brain probably didn't get enough oxygen. Okay. But anyways, I'm not doubting that this is your experience. Of course. You're speaking from a place of experience. I know this is yours to have. All I'm saying is we don't have to describe as long Covid. We can just say I still have symptoms from having Covid. This is what we do. It's like, it's just words that we use to tear everyone apart. Clean it up. Clean your act up. And clean up the way you shop for groceries. Not just for your health, but for your budget. Let me tell you about Thrive Market. It's like your favorite health food store, but online and way more affordable. I'm sold online. I can't leave the house all the time. Go to the grocery store and look at every nutrition label. How many sugars is in this? Don't tell me. I don't want to see. I want to live in denial. But Thrive Market has healthy foods. Everything they sell is non GMO and meets incredibly high standards. There's premium brands like Primal Kitchen, Siete WHO and Simple Mills, all delivered to your door and up to 30% less than what you'd pay at traditional stores. Whole Foods could never. They actually ban over 1000 ingredients that are still allowed in US products. Disgusting us. The US things like artificial dyes. They ban preservatives and seed oils that we've been trying to avoid. The site is super easy to shop. You can filter by diet like gluten free Paleo keto, low sugar vegan so you're not wasting your time reading the label. I use Thrive Market because it's easy and I can find all the things Robbie and I need in one place. Skip the junk without overspending. Head to thrivemarket.com gabbywindy to get 30% off your first order and a free $60 gift. That's thrivemarket.com gabbyw thrive market.com gabbywindy this podcast is presented by Drybars All Inclusive 8 in 1 multi styler and blowout defense collection. An all in one game changing tool and liquid that together deliver blowouts that last up to 96 hours. Do you think I have the shoulder strength to blow dry every single one of these locks every other night or so? No. But how else am I going to get the perfect 90s blowy? My guy Ryan. Shout out to Ryan. He's all the way in West Hollywood. I can't always make the trek, so whenever I'm out of energy seems to be all the time. Lately I have the dry bar all inclusive. It's an all inclusive styler, the first tool of its kind to combine both heated airflow and heated styling attachments so you can take your hair from wet to dry to styled with just one tool. This is what I've been saying, a streamlined machine to get my hair from wet to dry to styled. I can't always be fussing with all of these nozzles. There's four attachments with two modes to give you eight different ways to style. Four times two is eight the concentrator, the flat iron, the curling iron, and the round blow dryer brush. There's less damage. We've spent a lot of time and money on our hair. We can't always have it looking damaged or being at risk of danger. And it lasts nine up to 96 hours because it seems like you're only showering once a week. So don't just get ready, but stay ready. Get a blowout that lasts now and shop Dry Bars All Inclusive and Blowout defense products@drybar.com and you know what? You know what? I think I'll save teratoma for next time. It's basically a tumor that grows. It's a sex tumor. It's horny in there. It's Randy. Randy. It's feeling good in your ovary. No, that's not what it means. It just means that it's made from germ cells. If you had a horny tumor, you Might not want to remove it. At least someone's feeling good around here. At least someone's feeling up to the fun. As I blurted out the other day on a very public podcast that my medications make me lose my appetite a little and make me horny. Why'd I have to say that? Nobody cares if I'm horny. Because then what are you gonna think? Then was your next thought. What do you thought? It's okay. It's fine. I said what I said. So teratoma is a. A germ cell tumor that can grow eyes and a teeth and ha. This is what the human body can do. I was looking it up on. I've learned about it, you know, since I was a nurse. You never forget something like this. A tumor that can grow teeth. Maybe I would want one just to speak about it. Just to be. I want to be able to talk about these things from experience. I wanted to relate to a niche community. I want to. I want to feel these things. It's like the same thing as chlamydia. I never got to really feel it. I never really got to experience it. So I think you start having kind of hormonal like symptoms or something that occurs on your ovary. But this is what the human body can do. We can just build a tumor like this. But all AI is doing is making those baby videos that I love and stealing our thought processes and critical thinking. Don't you give that a dime. Lay off a chat. GPT. Can't you just try and do it yourself first? No, it's too much work. Of course not. Don't you wanna. I don't know. They're making it too easy. But why can't the AI build If we could. If the human body can already make a tumor full of eyes and a teeth and hair, you could probably do this outside of the body. Make a baby. And give it all to the men who want babies so bad. They want the. They're freaking out about the birth rate. Why don't we slap a teratoma on them? Here you go. Here's your baby. And it should come out of the uter. His. Let's not forget it's going to come out of your body. All of these things happen to women. And instead of being worshiped and celebrated for the things that our bodies can do, we're oppressed. Stay inside. You don't have a voice. Okay, so who cares about that? Okay, well, I've been watching tlc, Robbie, and I don't. People are like, well, what do you and Robbie watch together. It's like we're on Tubi. We're on tubi watching a 20 year old documentary about trans men and about a trans man and a trans woman who fall in love. It's giving broke back but different because it. It's very mountainous and they're gay in their own. It's a really sweet love story. It's free on Tubi. It's 20 years old. This is what we're consuming for fun. We're on some kind of cultural movies. American, American made that has to do with class. We're on Crooklyn loved it, by the way. Incredible. I love what he did with the film. Was it, I think Spike Lee, right? I'm. You guys. I. I just don't. Do you. You know, I'm like literally new around here and people. I've said it more than once. One time I said it in an interview. They're like, what are you watching? I was like, ugh. I think crook line. And then the whole thing went silent. Spike Lee, what he does with the film and stretching it and stuff. You could never. Anyways, so we're watching To Be and we're watching tlc. This is how we bond. Robbie has not missed an episode of the Sister Wives since maybe it began. I don't know if it's kind of an interest or infatuation with mess or with a big family because she came from. But it's like she did not come from a poly family. And how these women marry Janelle, who's the last one that I actually like. Not Robin. She's such a crybaby with crocodile tears. How is she always crying? It's like, obviously you're not on Reddit and you. I would never suggest this to anyone but her because she needs some constructive criticism. Criticism cast. Oh, Christine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So anyways, it's like obviously TLC is not paying them because after being being on TV for that many years, maybe they wouldn't be fighting over this plot of land. Maybe they could have had a little work done. I'm sorry. They have got to figure it out. There's no Injector in Utah or whatever. You got to give them a little extra money. They've been on TV for years. They deserve a smooth forehead. Where is all the money? You're not paying them their money. I mean. And it just keeps getting messier and messier and. And this guy Cody keeps getting crazier and crazier. He's like. But they're all just jealous because I fell in love with Robin. It's like. Yeah, because you're supposed to be in love with all of them. This was the contract. You just. Now you just don't get to pick one, which this is. Okay, okay, let me. Let me rewind. Did you know TLC stands for the Learning Channel? What are you learning? What are you learning? They're. They're trying to cosplay as pbs. Oh. But. Oh, come the on. But I'm learning, all right. I'm learning that you don't pay your talent anything. I'm learning a lot about polyamory. I would say against my will, but not even, like, with Robbie. For sure. But now you got to have a show that you're going to watch together. She's not interested in Housewives or really RuPaul. I. I don't know, you guys. Okay. Anyways. Jesus. Listen up, you sex fiends. You sick freaks. You're so horny you can't think straight. Well, grow up. This is adulthood we're talking about. But if you say you want to rub one out with your partner, it's about time. And you need. You need something to get this spark back. You know what's coming. It's called Aria. It's a new service for couples that makes it easier to break out of the routine and bring back said spark. A firework. Maybe we don't need to settle for a sparkler. Let's get the whole. Let's get the whole bang. I'm talking. I'm talking about the waterfall ones, the fireworks. So here's how it works. You take a short quiz to figure out what your love life needs. Seems like it needs a lot. Then you're matched with an intimacy concierge who hand selects curated experiences called scenes. Is this piquing your interest, you freak? It's peaking mine. You're in good company if you didn't know. Each scene includes premium items delivered discreetly to your door. So that nosy neighbor doesn't know what's going on in your bedroom at night. Unless they. You want to tell them via whatever sounds you're making now. But I don't want to know about them. I've just. I've already said too much. And the best part is that Aria's concierge is a real person. Think of them like your relationship's wingman. Someone you can message anytime, who gets to know your vibe and tailors everything to you. So no more awkward combos. Just real connection. Customize. Ready to break out of routine with aria? Visit a R Y A dot, FYI and use code GABBYWINDY for 15% off to get started today. Once again, I'm trying to get my skin in check. It's a lifelong battle, but I focus so much on my forehead, chin and cheek areas that I forget about my neck. What's underneath there? A long, strong column of cervical bones. But I always forget about my neck. I just cannot bring the cream down. I don't know why, but you know what helps is Gopure. And it's perfect for summer routine because it's really more exposed your your neck now. Now you're going to put it in the sun. Not me. I do use 50 SPF and GoPure. We spend so much time on our face, but what about our neck? Okay. GoPure is powered by clinically proven active ingredients. This advanced formula is designed to visibly firm, smooth, and rejuvenate the delicate skin on your neck and chest in as little as four to eight weeks. The skin on your neck is thinner, obviously. Have you ever even touched it? More delicate and less oily than the skin on your face, which means it needs some extra love, especially in the sun and the heat, because I know you're out there worshiping the sun. You don't have an SPF tilly hat and umbrella like me, so you definitely need gopier in their firming complex, which targets unique concerns of the neck. With over a million jars sold, this beauty secret is no longer a secret. For a limited time, our listeners get 25 off GoPure with code GABBY at checkout. Just head to GoPureBeauty.com use code GABBY and you're all set. And after you buy, do us a favor. When they ask where you heard about Go Beer, tell them it was from our show.
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Hi, guys, I'm Emma.
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I'm Julie.
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And I'm Isabel. And we're the minds behind comments by celebs. You may be familiar with our Instagram account, but what you may not know is that we also host a podcast where three times a week we talk all things pop culture, Bravo and Kardashians. If you've ever felt alone in your niche, interests, or desire to be informed on all things celebrity, just know we are your girl. So make sure to check out comments by celebs on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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The Learning Channel. And we're learning a lot about polyamory. And so I was talking about sister wives, and I'm like, you know what? And we were watching Poly Family even, not Sister wives. And I was like, why does it feel like I'm watching a spin off of the Bachelor? I was a visionary in that. I think this is where the Bachelor might go. I understand they're going up in flames, and they could really use some suggestions, but there was something in me that thought, oh, yeah, if you really gave them free reign, they would put quads together and see what kind of mess they could figure out, because that's kind of how it makes it feels, like you're not good enough, like you're always in competition anyway. So there's this quad, which I'll get into. They all live together. The wives and the husband swap, but the dudes don't. And the. The women don't either, Much to my dismay. That's how you know you're gay. Much to my dismay. That's how you know you're gay. Much to my dismay. You are so gay. I wish the women could get together, but I'm like, whoa. Because then the women, they turn into friends, and, like, the ones like, I don't want to know about your sex life, obviously, that would be me. Because it seems like they like the brunette one better. She's blonde, so she's like, obviously. I don't want to hear that you and the brunette when you're barely me. Whoa. They could really do something like this on the Bachelor, Really. But then with Sister Wives, it's like polyamory. This. This is probably how it started. I don't know if Mike Fleiss has some kind of a Mormon root one rut, but it's a deep one. It goes deep. And then look at all of these seasons. It branched because it started with the. Obviously, the Bachelor. The man for, like, six or nine seasons, he is Cody. This is Sister Wives. The girls can't help, but I'll be friends. Yeah. Of course, some of them fight. Nobody likes Robin because she's so full of herself, and she knows that Cody, the Bachelor, likes her more, so she just fakes. She just fake cries all the time to play a victim narrative. But let me tell you, you're not a victim. Leave the victims for the actual victims. Mary is a victim. And, you know. You know why she. I don't know. She needs the money the most, and she doesn't have the best personality, but she's really having an arc. Okay, so we got to give some credit to Mary where credit is due. But this is what was happening. And then all the women on the cast of the Bachelor become friends. We start sharing clothes. Oh, yeah, you're going on a date with my man. This is why people, I guess have so many questions about it. Because it's so crazy. I just had to get through it. What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do? Quit? I'm no quitter. No, no. I commit to the bit. I know if I have an assignment, I will fulfill it. We're sharing clothes. Oh yeah. I bet we're the same size in CB2 but you have way bigger tits and gonna look way better in this dress than me. But please, you should wear it on your date. And let me know how the kisses. Let me know how your game of tonsil hockey is. Let me know if you got to the back of his throat. Don't spare one dirty detail. I say to my sister wife. Yeah, because it's better. Because we're women. We inherently make emotional bonds with other women. What are we supposed to do? Not get along? Live in misery. I cannot, I cannot rest in a place of conflict, intention until I can with Danielle on Traders. Oh yeah, I got you. But I'm not going to be having. I'm not going to have this blond from Houston, Texas who is also a pediatric nurse and maybe we could be friends in another life. Fighting with me. No way. No way. You guys know me. I'm not going to do that. I'm a girl's girl for the 1500th time. I'm a big fat lesbian. Back to this quad, this interesting quad on our 62 inch Roku TV. They have your interest mostly. Mostly. But obviously whenever, just whenever a man talks, I immediately stop listening. That's why I cannot consume any kind of media or news coming from a man. I just don't understand that them at all. I don't know what it is. If it's subconscious, if it's intrinsic. I am not picking up what you are putting down. Get a woman in there. So luckily there's two women so I can pay attention to them. And they all mix and mingle. The women get to date each of the husbands and yeah, so then the women decide they want to be pregnant together so they're just fucking each other. Coming inside. It doesn't matter who. Which. Which daddy is coming inside of you. You're just trying to. You know what trying means? You're like rabbits and letting a fire hydrant load come in each time so you can get pregnant together. But that sounds to me it doesn't matter who is the one ejaculating inside. Sorry to be so graphic but you have to get Specific. This sounds like it's a high risk for cross contamination. Hopefully she's not gluten free. You know you cannot come near even a soy sauce with her. Imagine what kind of of liquids she will have a reaction to that are mixed. This baby is going to come out full of histamines. Spawn from a liquid so viscous, filled with too much DNA. We don't even know what kind of fluid these eggs are being assaulted by. It's never been done before. It's all mixing in there. And we're hoping. We're hoping for the best outcome. And then they say one of them, one of them who obviously has defective swimmers. He's the one who says we don't want to know who the biological father is. It doesn't matter. We're all family. We can all raise them and treat the children as if they were our own. It's giving insecure. It's giving. You don't want to know because you have something to hide because you know you have defective vans deference. Maybe your swimmers ain't swimming. Even though they probably have the same bald head as you and by shape and physics should be faster. They should swim as fast as something like a torpedo that has the same shape and texture as your head. Nonetheless, they can't get there. You know these kids aren't yours. So you tell everyone that you don't want to know the sex of the baby because you know they're not yours. But how is this going to stand up in a court of law when you inevitably have the craziest breakup of all time? And I hope it's filmed. And these poor women. If one man cannot give you what you need, then two definitely won't. You know how Mel Robbins has to let them? Well, I have the. Leave them. Two is not better than one. Leave them. One cannot even get you pregnant and you want a kid. Leave them. They're taking your sister wife on an overnight stay but not taking you because they don't like you as much. Leave them. You got to leave them. They're good for nothing. And find you a woman. They can do more than what two husbands could ever do for you. They're emotionally intelligent. They can give you what you need. They can help you feel seen. There is this one scene where the brunette had the baby because she got pregnant. And we know who impregnated her because it definitely wasn't Mr. Clean. We know his don't work. It's not a big mystery. And she's six weeks postpartum and they Want to go for a date? They haven't gone for a date in a while. And it was this big. I hate to use the word hubbub, but it was a hubbub. And they were like, who should go on a date? This or this? And, and mind you, two of them came in to the quad married. So you kind of have the person that you're closer with given your like legal husband or wife. You know, they don't pick each other. It's this, oh, let's draw out of a hat because we know that they only want the brunette one. Okay, so she's the one who's six weeks postpartum and she gets to go on an overnight date while this guy is only talking about wanting to. He's like, yeah, we haven't been ourselves lately. In the bedroom. Yeah, I got edible paint. Here are some. I've never done this. I've never covered the bed in rose petals. So why don't we do it now? And this fluorescently lit Airbnb and a bed that you can feel the box springs. She has a full blown breakdown, obviously because she feels pressured to have sex when she's not even recovered from her baby. Six weeks. I would need six years. Get the away from me. That little Peter good for nothing. And what about the kids? What about the kids? Some kids are born to no father. They don't get to know who their dad is. They have none. These kids have two dads, but they also have none because they don't get to know who they're real dad is. Biologically health wise. Your health history. Don't you want to know? These kids deserve to know who their biological dad is, especially if they're in the room. Hello, there's an elephant in the room. Which one is it? They're going to find out anyways. I would spill. I would spill those beans. I'd be like, I'm not your father. That one is. Which is why I don't like you. Or I would be like, yeah, Tony, I'm your father and I still don't like you. And then, and then sometimes you do get a little sleepy watching this. Okay, we get it. We understand what's going on. It's the same drama over and over. My eyes are feeling heavy. I might take a quick 10 minute ER on the couch. You've heard Robbie's sister rant and rave about her couch. It's very inviting and comforting for mid afternoon now. Okay, my eyes start getting heavy. And then, and then the wives share a drunken kiss on A yacht tub. If you didn't know what that was. It's a hot tub on. Not a yacht, but a boat. But they call it a yacht tub. Here they are into each other. Ah. My eyes open wide like I just cracked a Diet Coke. Now we're talking. They should be together. There's chemistry. I just don't believe when women are like, oh, I wish I could, but I'm straight. It's like. Like I don't one. Don't tell me you wish you could then. Because. Because I think you could try a little harder and I think it might change your life. It's like the dick is never that good and we're all just people anyway. And plus you've heard me screaming about your strap on. You get it? My strap on? Mind you, I don't know anything about your strap on. Please. And I don't want to know. But I do wish. And maybe one day, maybe this is something good we could do with. With AI I wish they would take some of my suggestions. You could do like a 3D graphic. You could take an ultrasound probe. That would take pictures maybe of all of the. If you're a man. If you're a straight man. I need you to walk away. I need to know I'm safe when I'm talking to you, you sick freak. They could take an ultrasound. It doesn't even have to be. AI could. Somebody should do this and patent it and give me 10 because it could re. It could really take this to Shark Tank. They're perverted over there. They just bought a stringy. You guys know what the stringy is? I've been. I'm being given all these stringies to take with me where I'm working because it's a little tiny piece of underwear like this held by a plastic string, going right, going nutso, crazy, cuckoo, insane. On Shark Tank. Nobody can stop talking about him. I'm sure you've never even heard of them. You take an ultrasound, put it up, insert it like you would the D. That's no good. Leave that in the past. And it takes a 360 camera, 3D view of all the ridges of all. What a nice, perfectly made for you. What do you call that? Avant garde couture. And it would take pictures. Take pictures. So then you could take that 3D, print it into a strap on, made of a great material. You won't even know they're missing the men. What do they. What do they bring protection? Yeah, right. I don't. When's the last time when's the last time you've actually protected me and not wanted to hurt me. Everything about that, yeah, got dark. When I see a man, I'm not grateful that he's gonna protect me from harm. I'm scared that he's going to induce it, which is why I hit him with the pink pepper spray. Don't we all have the same pepper spray? But mine is old, so I do need to get a new one. But it's like I always feel like I gotta be locked and loaded if ever I get a delivery in the notes, it's like, eg, dogs. Friendly dogs. Not friendly. And I'm locked and loaded with bear mace. So leave them. Leave them. Leave them. Don't take them back. Leave them. This is your sign to leave them. Why don't you ditch them? Leave them. They only want their mom. Leave them. They kiss on the mouth. Leave them. Well, thank you for coming back time and time again for a long minute. I'll see you next time.
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Please note that this episode may contain.
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