Gabby (0:01)

The following podcast is a Dear media production and welcome back to another episode of Long Winded. Let me tell you about some things that are pissing me off, if I may, as we begin. Some things that get under my skin. Some things that make me see red of sorts. Some. Some things that make the blood within my veins boil to the temperature of a Kelvin. Way past the boiling point. We're in vapor. We are in vapor. Can I get a crack of an ollip? Ah, I'll feel that in about 10 to 12 hours, especially after my pad tie that's on the way. So I need to get to the point. You want to know what's getting under my skin? Lots of things. Lots of things. But I'll start with. I'll start with. I'll start with the men. Hello. Hello there. Always on my nerves. What's new? Nardo. Him. Pervert. Nardo. Come on. Whatever. What have they done? We'll get into that later. And then what is real? What is really making me mad? And the first time I saw it made me mad. Why are we talking about Amy Lou's teeth? Who cares? We're still talking about women's bodies and appearances. People can be like, what? Oh, Gabby, it's not that deep. Well, kinda. It was the first thing people said when we saw her on White Lotus. Has no one watched Sex Education? Has no one watched the first and second season? It's a masterpiece. The cinematography, the gays, the Amy Lou. She's hot and she's bitchy. And really nothing about her teeth. So what? Oh, I have to clean off my glasses for this. So what? So what? There's a gap. Okay, come on. You've never seen a different set of teeth before. Now we're forcing it on her. Now we're forcing it on her to make it her whole identity, to own it. Because she's giving representation to the gap tooth girls. And one person even said. Even said gap tooth and an overbite. Nobody's talking about her overbite. She's not here to give you representation, mind you. Mind you. Because. Because it's just. She's an amazing actor, she's hot as hell, and she's in the White Lotus. We don't actually need to bring in her teeth. We don't actually need to. Let me try that again. Bring her teeth into any of this. Like nobody's talking about it besides everyone. Because one person talked about it. Just leave it alone. Maybe she doesn't want to be the poster child. Maybe she doesn't want how this People to remember her by. And I can speak on this because one time I got an email, among other things. You don't want to know what I. What I've been called recently. I can't even remember. It doesn't even bother me. I. I can't even remember. It doesn't even. Block. Block. Keep my name out of your mouth, Block. Unless you're calling me gaggy. Unless you're saying. Unless you're saying. Unless you're saying great things, which literally. Which literally most of you, all of you do. And thank you for that. Thank you for your support and coming back time and time again. Okay, Leave her teeth alone. Nobody cares. Nobody's. Nobody's asking. We can. She can be quiet representation for all. We don't need to make it her whole tagline on. On an Instagram meme and then the SNL skit. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. And I even have a good sense of humor, which is really sick and twisted of me that this got under my skin. We're gonna drag her for being a woman. First of all, you made her teeth look way worse. That's offensive. She's not some Frankenstein looking. You are. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Because you're scaring me with your tall head and unflossed teeth. Don't project onto Amy, Lou. Leave her alone. Leave her alone. She's done nothing to you. Besides, like, be the best, I think. I mean, I'd only seen a couple episodes and she was. She was the most tolerable. I. I love her. I do. Which obviously, me going to bat for no reason. Actually, for a reason. Because. Why? Because why? The SNL skit didn't have anything to say about Patrick Schwarzenegger. There was nothing vile about his character. Okay, okay. He played that character too. Well, I'll say it. I'll say it. Fine. But I don't know. So then I'll stop there. But I'm just. I'm just saying. I know. A missed opportunity for the roofie that was hiding in his pocket the whole entire time they were filming that year and a half. Hello. Don't bring her into the rfk. Taking fluoride out of the water and showing like. Come on. Who was she even trying to play in the potus? Leave her alone. She's gotten enough. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Anyways, I stopped watching after that because hopefully some of the characters were incestual. On the potus. On the podisk. I don't even care. I'm losing interest in myself as I'm speaking. I'm boring myself. Just leave her alone. She doesn't even. She doesn't even. And then. And then the next thing really isn't getting under my skin, but it is something to lament. What about a good lament these days? This is how we connect. This is. This is how we. This is how we feel seen, and this is how we learn. If we can trust another is through the gossip, through the complaining, through the lamenting. Are you like me or do you like this world? Are we similar or are you so afraid to talk shit? Are you too good? No, because everyone's thinking the same thing. I just have to say it. But don't you dare tell. And if you do tell, I'm going to deny, deny, deny. And then say. And then if it's on camera, then I'll say it's AI. And that's how I'm gonna get out of it. Are you ever in desperate need for a blowy? No. No. A blowout. Me? Always. Because I keep canceling glam and I cannot leave the house for a 30 minute drive to get the perfect 90s blowout. Can't I do it myself already? Yes, I can. This podcast is brought to you by Dry bars all inclusive. 8 in 1 multi styler and blowout defense colle. An all in one game changing tool and liquids that together deliver blowouts that last up to 96 hours. Finally, now we're talking. 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The more they learn about you, the better it gets. No guesswork, no more awkward combos. We know you like to play around the butt, and that's okay. Just real connection. Customized. Ready to break out of routine with Aria? Visit A r y, a dot, FYI and use code gabby wendy for 15% off to get started today, but anyways. Okay, okay. Katy Perry. Going to space. Okay. The all women crew. Ooh, wow, look at this. We're going to send all the girls to space in case they blow up. This is not about empowerment. This is a case study. And you had to drag. You had to drag. I mean, it probably wasn't that hard to drag Katy Perry into this, but I wish I had something to say. People are like, don't go, Gayle King. Don't go. I don't know. I don't know enough about her, but I do know at the beginning she said her intuition, her gut was screaming, don't do it, Gail. Don't do it. And she's doing it, and she's going, gayle, you have free will. Jeff Bezos is not God. Universal leader. All almighty creator. No, maybe of the Blue Origin, but who cares about that? I thought that was a dog food. Maybe it's Origin Blue, but I bet they came first. Not very creative of you. Rocket ship. You would think. You would think they've had a better, more innovative name if they're flying to space, you don't have anything else to say. Blue Origin. Blue Crew. Okay, so about that. And some of. And there's. There's been discourse of sorts. There has been. Does Filler migrate in space. Great question. We're all wondering, is the centrifugal force, the force of the GS that will be pulled on your juvederm, will it be displaced from the bone into some kind of other area? Maybe, maybe like a lump in the mid cheek or this kind of lump flowing to the nose? Are you gonna look like some sort of a. Some sort of a hyaluronic acid? Picasso? You know, for your sake, I don't. I don't wish filler migration on anyone. I don't. I don't care if you're risking your life because you have a ton of money. You actually. I don't know. As it's coming out of my mouth, I don't know if. If I think your filler should migrate or not. Nardo's really distracting me because he can't get out. Will your fillers start to ripple like a toe in a puddle? Well. Well, that's the least of your worries, because I don't even know if you're gonna wake up dead. I'll tell you one thing for sure. Somebody's gonna get the bends. The bends are coming for them. And you know what that is? A gas bubble, I think, that travels right through your body and into the brain. And it's not a good experience. I don't even know if you live or die. But it's not going to be good. And you're going to be in space. You think they have a hospital? In the stratosphere? In urgent care? In the clouds? Dream on, dream on. You're going to have to maybe take a gas X for the seven minutes you have left to come back down. Oh, you want to see Mother Earth? Have you heard of Google Earth? It's the same. They're exactly the same. Maybe you should micro dose of a mushroom because. Because I'm sure all of the blue crew could use a psychedelic cure there. And then take out your fingertips in the QWERTY pad and type in Google Earth, stratosphere, and maybe put it on your projector. Whoa, whoa. You have an appreciation. Apparently Katy Perry's been studying the theory of strings. News to me. New news to me. I didn't know those big eyes could read. Of course I know she could read. I say the same about myself, okay? I just became literate because I went to public school, you know, But I think. I think whether. Whether they live or die, that is not the question. Whether the filler shall migrate, that is not the question. The question is, what song is Katy Perry going To sing in space. No, I think ET Is too on the nose. It shall be California Girl. And as you hear the interlude, which I forget how it goes, but as you hear it, the rest of the blue crew women in their blue spacesuits shall get into formation to start their choreography in 5, 6, 7, 8. My hip bump. Won't bump. There's no gravity in here. Sanchez, you're late. You're a half a beat too late. Get it together. Suck in the core, squeeze the glutes, get your head whipped right. I don't care if there's no gravity. You got one day of training the day before. You should be ready for this now. Formation change. And then as they split, Snoop Dogg comes through hot boxes. The spaceship. And the smoke lingers because of all of the lack of. What do you call that in an airplane? A lack of pressure cabin neutralization. So the smoke really lingers. It's something of a smoke machine. But you don't need vapor. It's just the sativa coming straigh straight from his lungs. Tone, tan, fit and ready, rock and steady. And then they may or may not come back down and land four minutes later. You're gonna risk your life for a 10 minute flight? No way. No way. Not me. Because before I'd even feel the mass amounts of a pressure on my head. Maybe the fastest roller coaster that you've ever felt. I would. I would pass out and maybe die of a lack of a heartbeat due to shock. I don't want to. I don't want to know. There's enough. There's enough for me going on on Earth. I like to have my feet on the ground at all times. I don't even like to go upside down. I wasn't flipping around as a cheerleader. Now he's a professional dancer. We just called ourselves cheerleaders because we don't know what else to call. Girls with pom poms must be a cheerleader. But I was more into the hair ography and the shimmy of it all. You ever heard of the Bombshell bra? Talk about. Talk about defying gravity. Okay, so we'll see. So that's why we're all going to be watching early on a Monday morning. Not because. Not because we're enthralled or amazed or flabbergasted with the experience. We want to know what song Katy Perry's gonna sing and if she can even do the vocals up there. I don't know what her training was look like. And can you believe they only trained the day Prior. What do you. What, what are you. Blue Origin Setting them up for failure. Oh. You've gone on 30 trips. Whoa. 20 of which didn't even have people on them. Whoa. Who'd they have on them? Animal cruelty? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. We'll see. But Lauren Sanchez, I hope your face is intact because I actually pretty much stay in her. I loved what she was wearing at the inauguration. Okay, so. Oh, yeah, and one other thing that's getting under my skin that's pissing me off. Right off. Off like a light bulb in your bathroom that you cannot replace. And you're too scared to call the landlord because you don't like any kind of confrontation. You don't want a stranger in your home. That we. A T shirt that says Trump is gangster. I have the proof. I have the proof to show you. So you deal with the dark bathroom, terrible lighting, and your foundation doesn't match your neck. Once again, your shades are off. No matter how many. No matter how many different ones. No, it's washing me out. No, I know it's too orange. No matter how many. No matter. Because this is what's pissing me off is all of a sudden Coachella got cool because Bernie Sanders showed up to give a speech. This is what it takes. Wherever Bernie goes is cool. Coachella was and still is the influencer Olympics until Bernie shows the up. We need some 80 something year old man to talk about the institution of healthcare, big pharma and the class gap to get me excited. And let me tell you. And let me tell you, the crowd was not as. Was not as enthused as I thought they. As I thought they were going to be. But maybe you have to take into account all of the tabs of acid they took. Mushrooms, Molly, etc. Opening their eyes, coming to their senses that Bernie Sanders is on stage. Maybe they thought it was a mirage. They probably didn't know what the fuck was going on. Yeah, we have to take that into account. And I do wish Bernie Sanders would have introduced Charlie xcx. Wouldn't that have been a thing? Wouldn't that have been up? Amazing. Because I knew Charlie XCX was going to be there. I had just seen her in concert a couple months before, but I didn't know Julia Fox was going to be there. I should have guessed. I should have guessed. What is she doing at the Revolve Suite? I want to go. If she's there, I want to be. And then I'm overcome with Something that I've never felt before. This new sensation, what the millennials may call fomo. Fear of missing out. It's dreaded. It's a terrible feeling. I don't wish it on my worst enemy. Yes, I do. Of course I do. I wish everything on them. Except not. I don't care. I don't care because I cannot carry the weight of. What do you call that? Resentment on my shoulders. But Julia Fox and Bernie Sanders were at Coachella. And now. Now I'm rethinking. Waiting in line for 10 hours and bringing my full dining room table to set up in the ground of the grass on the tarp that these influencers are doing for millions of likes on TikTok. I have to reinvent myself. I have to make my tent cowboy vintage. Or else. Or else I am nothing. I need that cowboy vintage cooler. I couldn't find her. I must bring a yeti. Probably way more efficient, but it doesn't match the aesthetic. What do you. What are you. How do you. What do you need to hire LA rock star movers just to get you to Coachella and reassemble your furniture? How much. How much energy do you have? And where can I spare a little? I have to contemplate. I have to make an active decision every day to not take a Ritalin to get a quarter of the energy that you have to bring a tablecloth over a picnic table and further decorate it with a messy deck of cards, an inflatable sofa bed that rolls out into a bed and then rolls back in into a sofa. And of course, I'll link it at the end. Okay, got me. Now I understand where this is going. Capitalism. We can't escape it. Don't make me say it. Don't make me. I will not say it. I won't say it. I already said it. Capitalism. I already said it. We're doomed. We're stuck in the cycle of spending money to make money. This is all we can do. Late stage, they say. Just like Athleisure. Yeah. I walked into an Owl the other day because there's a new store in the Studio City shopping complex. I'm like, I don't need any more. I don't need any more Athleisure because it was marketed to women to live a lifestyle that's surrounded by being fit and having a perky ass. Well. Well, at some point, I have. I have to reckon with my ass not being so perky anymore. No, it has the role underneath. And to that I say, I shall wear it with pride. And to that I say, I'll keep my two pairs of lulu leggings. I don't need any more. And to that I say, I might want a pair of a flare. The flares are coming back. And we're all victims. Of course, we're perpetrators. We're the perps and the victims. What are we supposed to do in this society? Not participate? But I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what. Because I don't sell my cookies, I'll tell you what. I'm. I never get those targeted Instagram ads. No, I don't. Why don't you learn something from me today? You're welcome. This is just the first part. This is just the first part of the material that you're gonna learn throughout the however many minutes I'll talk to. However many minutes I'll feel like it today. Here I am again. Here I am again. Just when you forgot about my bronchitis, I am here to remind you about the ephemeral, elusive bronchitis. Yes, it's affecting me. It's affecting my nicotine habits. To be specific, someone made a TikTok that all I talk about is the nicotine. And to that I say, what else is there to talk about? So I've had to. I've had to transition to nicotine pouches in the upper deck. But we can't keep having the cheap, ugly nicotine cans cluttering up your vintage purse, cluttering up your coffee table, cluttering up whatever else you clutter. I'm sure it's a lot. So here comes Lucy. Lucy is the if you know, you know nicotine brand. They're not just your standard gas station pouches. Lucy is 100% pure nicotine and always tobacco free. They're cleaner, they're smoother, they taste better just for a premium experience. And we are premium girlies, so act like it already. Breakers have a tiny capsule inside so you can pop it for an instant burst of flavor. Something like a Camel Crush. But we have retired those long ago. So, ready to upgrade your nicotine routine? You can go to Lucy Co Gabby and use promo code Gabby to get 20% off your first order. Lucy has a 30 day refund policy if you change your mind again, that's Lucy Co and use code gabby to get 20% off. And here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, which Is the all in one website platform for entrepreneur to stand out and succeed online. This is what we're talking about. Tell that boss of yours where to go and then go to HR to file a complaint. But whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience audience and sell anything from products to content to time. Time is money people all in one place, all on your own terms. They have design, intelligence. And there's Squarespace payments, which is the easiest way to manage your payment in one place. With Squarespace. Hello. Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, more money. Plus give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like Klarna, Ach Direct Debit, Apple Pay, Afterpay and Clear Pay. And there's even SEO tools. So get discovered fast already and integrate SEO tools. Every Squarespace website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, an auto generated site map and more. Go to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch squarespace.com Gabby. To save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Okay, so I've talked about this a little bit before. Is the sexualization of it all. The three most famous women in the whole entire world who have been sexualized. Me, Britney Spears and Lady Liberty. We've had it. You've undermined us. We have no power. Because this is what happens. And some may say, well, Gabby, you knew what you were doing when you went on that TV show. Well, does that make it okay? No, because they need voices like me and Bethany Frankel from within the institution to blow the whistle. Blow the whistle. Because it doesn't make it okay. Whose side are you on? So bad behavior is just welcome. No, because you need someone to stand up for the other women. Enters me. And because nobody has talked about sex the way said person talked about it on this season of the Bachelor. That I went on. In a way, it was a place coming from power. He had the microphone literally in figuratively talking to two women who weren't allowed to talk back. Talking about their sex life without prior knowledge. Consent discussion. Oh, what? You know because you go to the fantasy suite. Yeah, it's inferred. Love island cast members will deny until their Pinocchio knows can reach 20ft across the room to a producer. Poke the producer in the belly button. It sagged a little bit because it's so heavy on the end m something. Something like a Barry's Boot Camp. In more ways than one. No, we Didn't. No we didn't. Interquatus. Okay. Because that's on respect and privacy. And if you are going to talk about said thing one there needs to be a conversation and one it needs to be from a woman. Because that's the whole thing about sexualization. Women already don't have the power of a man. So then when you sexualize them and deduce them to just their body or an object you think that they're sub human. Hello. Do I have to teach you everything around here at Long Winded? Gladly. Come on. Come back time and time again and. Yeah, maybe so I've safely created, I've said I've safely created a swarm. I've safely created maybe a bubble of sorts. I've safely created a biodome microflora ph balanced right in my. A wall around me. And on the inside are gay women and gay men a population that is the least likely to sexualize you. Okay, so I haven't really. So I didn't. So I'm just now getting the wake up call. Getting, getting, getting the, the alarm in my ear at 6:30am Gritting, grinding against my inner cochlear. My three micro bones, the smallest bones in the human body. Hello. It's time to get the up. Because I feel safe around. I'm allowed to want to feel and look sexy without. Without being deduced to a brainless. Without being deduced as something of a sex doll. Even though I would like to refer to myself as one. And that's okay, that's okay because that's me regaining the power. You don't have power over me. So I'm safely in a bubble and then things pop up. Pop, pop, pop, pop up. And then you realize the late night show that you went on and you were supposed to be interviewed by Jimmy Kibble but instead you were interviewed by the D Squad Anthony Anderson who sexualized you within the first five seconds of going on TV cable network in front of millions. The first thing he said to me. The first thing he said to me. So what? So what? I was in a semi sheer dress. It was gorgeous, cut just right and Chloe Bailey had worn it before. What am I gonna say? No? It was at my disposal with royal blue Tom Ford shoes I was forced to give back and have not stopped thinking about them ever since. Besides the point. In comes Anthony Anderson after giving me too close of a hug. He says you're not going to be the bachelorette long dressing like that. Excuse me, excuse me because I don't even know what you mean by that? Maybe, but. But something you are alluding to is that I'm dressing like this for you. No, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. I do not actually give one what what you think about me. I came here for the a squad, Jimmy Kimmel and his wife to hopefully correctly pre what is going to happen in my season of the bachelorette and instead I endured two to three minutes of your pervy ass questions. Something like, what goes on in the fantasy suite? What the fuck? We're here to be interviewed about what? I just went through dating 30 dirty crusty dudes that I'd like to talk about for once. This is my reality. Can we talk about. Can we talk about. Can we talk about things that have to do with me? What happens in the fan? All you wanted to know is that the fantasy what happens in the fantasy suite? What do you do in the fan? What is the point of the fantasy suite? Why do they call it fantasy? Because they think it's okay to talk about us this way because of what happened on our season setting us up for sexualization. So I had to navigate that. I had to navigate that interview. Something like. Something. Something like. Something like. Something like going to your facial appointment without a Google map. I don't know. Okay, but I was head lead navigator then and I had to get us out of that situation. So I said. But the whole time I had to be polite and kind because as a woman, I'm. I have to diffuse the situation with the grade A pervert trying to see through my perfectly placed dress to see if he could get a slip of the areola. No, this isn't for you. This is for me. It's making me thirsty. Ah, we know about my long neck. Yeah, maybe at times it serves a purpose, but at other times there's too much. Too much space for activities. 4. The neck skin is thin, so it may wrinkle easier. Well, have. I have something for you. Go pure. We spend so much time caring for the skin on our face and then we get to the neck and you turn your back so fast. Well, people can see it. People can still. People can still see your neck even though you forgot about it. But that's why gopure beauty developed their revolutionary titan hand lift neck cream. Powered by clinically proven active ingredients, this advanced formula is designed to visibly firm, smooth and rejuvenate the delicate skin on your neck and chest in as little as four to eight weeks. 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