Transcript
A (0:00)
What about your hair? Let's talk about your hair. Mine has been through it. It's been through styling, blow drying, it's been through all of the color dyes that you could imagine, every letter of the Alphabet. We're not good to it, we're not nice to it. But thankfully, there's the K18 Molecular Repair Hair mask to make sure that your hair stays strong, soft and bouncy no matter what you do. This isn't just a damage cover up, okay? It's a lasting fix that gives you the most fun flippable hair ever. And you know I love to flip my hair. And it's flippable because patented K18 peptide repairs damage on the molecular level, which is really, really, really, really deep. Just like you. Oh. And it only takes four minutes. Minutes. Hello. I do. I love the K18 Repair Hair Mask. I don't know if you've used it before, but it has saved my hair from going literally, literally brown to bleach blonde. My hair was ripping right apart. It was falling on the floor. It was shedding like I'd never seen. But the only thing that actually helped it healed it was the K18. So shop at Sephora or get 10% off your first order@k18hair.com with code Gabby. That's K18.
B (1:34)
The 2026 Chevy Equinox is more than an SUV. It's your Sunday tailgate and your parking lot snack bar, your lucky jersey, your chairs and your big cooler fit perfectly in your even bigger cargo space. And when it's go time, your 11.3-inch diagonal touchscreen's got the playbook, the playlist, and the tech to stay a step ahead. It's more than an suv. It's your Equinox Chevrolet. Together, let's drive.
A (2:19)
Oh, for sake. Oh, for sake. Oh, for fuck's sake. I have to talk a little low today because my downstairs neighbors are mad at me. As you can see, I'm in a new location. As you. As you may or may not know, it took me so long to set design, to set all of this up for you. And I know back there, the camera can see this camera. You just call it Lynchian, okay? Because that's what it is. You can see what I'm doing here. I wish you saw me do all this design. It took me over hours. And now I will raise my voice maybe a little bit. You might not like this, and you sure as hell didn't like that bleep from last time. But you know what? I say you need to Be in charge of your own fate. Somebody was like, I'll never fall asleep to this episode. Well, good. For fuck's sake. For fuck's sake. Why are you falling asleep to any episode except this one when I'm whispering and my voice is getting a little louder as I speak, and I'm getting hot, sweating through this sweater, which has quite the story, if I may. And you won't hear a bubble. You won't hear a bubble pop today, unfortunately, because I'm in a new place. Oh, thank God. I'm recording. I'm in a new place and I don't have a bubbly to pop, but I like to pop a bubble because it clears my mind as the bubble travels downward through my intestines and poof out my asshole, it clears out the toxins in my mind and the poof opens up the anus a little bit and there goes all of the bad thoughts. Now I'm clear minded. Just kidding, girl. Fart surprise. Because we don't have. And all of that was hypothetical and I know you're gonna miss it. Okay, here goes my voice. Here goes my voice. It's raising a little bit. And I was. I was doing some creeping on some of my followers because I'm shadow banned officially. So I get to see the five followers that follow me a day. And you know what? I. I'm so grateful for you guys and I'm so proud. I have the chicest, hottest, most stylish followers with the best Instagrams. And don't think that I'm not watching you, because I am. And I appreciate you because here you. Because this is our representation of long winded. There's the bubble. Now I can think clearly. And there's no shade to the basic, I am a reformed one and I will take you each and every as you come. That's what I'm here for. I'm also here, and I'm tired. And what does one do when they're so tired by the intrusive thoughts followed by the sad, desperate reprieve of depression? Let me take a deep breath and let it out. Some may say, it's not working. Stay present. Others may say, stay present with the heaviness of your eyelids. Let the lethargy in. How am I supposed to analyze all of life to think of bits for you all if my brain is numb and I cannot think about my outfit for the next day? But it's all I want to do. Let the divine light, they say let it in. Well, I'm already divinely. Lit baby. That is not the problem. That is not the problem. There's many other problems, like me setting up this thing for an hour and having to. Having to slow my voice, a whisper as to so I don't get in trouble from the downstairs neighbor. But today I am French. My nails are French. I had a steak frites for lunch, hungry, and now my snores are French. Wait a second. Now that I'm French, I'm feeling better. Now that I had a nibble of my French fry with my steak frites and peppercorn sauce, I'm feeling better, awake with this bright light shooting above me that I had to get for 600 to do my job because I can't travel with it, because here I am in Canada. Here I am in a new international country. And I'll start with the Canadian, with the Air Canada Lounge, which was suffused with. With the Brussels sprouts, my old factories. It's too early in the afternoon for a stench of roasted cabbage in my Nairs. But you know what that's a sign of? You know what? The roasted cabbage smell. The little stink is a sign of. Of a delicious beef stew. And that there was with the side of mashed potatoes. And I had three helpings. The Air Canada Lounge is also filled with some international perverts staring at my erect nipples that I was blessed with at birth. It's a blessing that they look like they've breastfed 10 whole children until the age of two. These nutrients are rich for my invisible children's brain. Their neurons are connecting from the colostrum. However, the state of the lounge, however dilapidated and smelly and carpeted it was, and very small, might I add, it felt European. Right away, you could sense the lack of capitalism around you, the absence of hustle. Besides me, because I was editing another podcast for you, because I have 1500 jobs thanks to my seven Capricorn placements, I will never be free. Hey, and you know what? The experience of the airport. The terminal. The terminal felt new, but old. Some may say nostalgic, some may say resplendent, because it's also. It's always the same but different kind of experience. There's new snacks at the register. There's a lack of cherry gummies. And where is the Evian? The lack of Evian is ubiquitous in these airports. What do you have against Evian? And I'm sorry, I can't drink out of a glass bott. I need a microplastic so I can drink as much as I can. And I Look around the airport and there's new faces, new flight attendants, and a new gate in the last five seconds. So I run down the platform with my guests sneakers. Three gates down, I ran. I'm out of breath because I'm now smoking 10 cigarettes a day thanks to my Nardo. I'm running. I'm running. I go up to the flight attendant. She has a sweet face. I heard they were almost done boarding. Did I miss my flight? It is very important. See here I have a passport and a work permit and all this paperwork. And if I don't get on this flight, I don't know what would happen. I would downward spiral into an abyss of shame because I was too busy eating a meat pie to check the gate number. It's all my fault. But Air Canada didn't email me because my email wasn't on the ticket. So by the skin of my teeth, I made it. Also a very familiar feeling at the airport. But this time it was different because it was in the Tom Bradley section of lax. Some parts won't change. The rumination on if your bags will make it. Don't think about. Don't think about if your bags are gonna make it, you're gonna manifest the bags not making it. But what if. What if they don't make it? And then my favorite pair of shoes are in there in the hopes of a pissy toupee, lie in between the buckle.