Real Housewives of Road Island and Passport bros

Summary

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Long Winded with Gabby Windey

Episode: Real Housewives of Rhode Island and Passport Bros
Date: June 25, 2026
Host: Gabby Windey

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Gabby Windey delivers a no-holds-barred, humor-laced deep dive into two distinct realms: the drama-packed Real Housewives of Rhode Island reunion, and the disturbing world of “Passport Bros” – men who seek women abroad due to perceived failures in local dating. Gabby’s keen eye for pop culture, astrology, and sharp social commentary illuminate both the absurd highs of reality TV and the grim lows of modern dating subcultures.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

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1. Morning Rants & Toxic Positivity

[03:53]

• Gabby opens with a rant about society’s obsession with “good mornings,” calling out the pressure to be toxically positive.
• She jokes: “The only part of my morning that is good is nothing. And the only part of my day that is good is the night.” – Gabby, [01:15]
• Sets the tone for her unapologetically honest approach.

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2. Real Housewives of Rhode Island Reunion Recap

[03:55 – 41:00]

a) The Kelsey & Rosie Social Media Beef

[03:55]

• Gabby dives into the drama between Kelsey and Rosie, critiquing Kelsey for expecting free promotion in exchange for a haircut without communication.
  • “If she was a real friend, you could come to her more vulnerably and say, hey, Rosie, you really hurt my feelings. You know, I’m trying to grow this business . . . But she didn’t lead with that.” – Gabby, [04:30]

b) Cosmetic Surgery & Andy’s Tactics

[05:30]

• Comments on how Andy Cohen makes housewives admit their cosmetic procedures on air, calling it “cruel / partly hilarious.”
• Recaps a memorable moment: “But I will say her lip lift looks amazing. So I would like to know who she went to.” – Gabby, [06:10]

c) The Epic Joellen vs. Rula Fight

[06:35]

• The reunion’s heated exchanges, threats of violence, and reality TV absurdity.
  • “Alicia’s like, don’t do that. She just got her face done with all sincerity. That was good. And that’s how we all feel.” – Gabby, [07:10]
• Deconstructs why Rula, usually quiet, suddenly surfaced as a “slithering python in the grass.”
• “At first, I did kind of like Rula . . . But then she completely flipped at the reunion. Like on Liz, her friend sitting right next to her.” – Gabby, [09:15]

d) Lies, Theories, and Astrological Hot Takes

[10:00]

• Gabby expounds on the web of lies between Liz and Rula, and unfurls a hilarious monologue comparing Liz to people everyone knows – like "Dieter," the supposed vegetarian with a weekly Taco Bell chicken quesadilla habit.
• Explores Liz’s possible pathological lying, substance use, and astrology:
  • “She could be a pathological liar who can believe their own lies. Like, we know all those. We all have kind of those in our lives.” – Gabby, [13:35]
• Intricately analyzes each housewife’s astrological sign as an explanation for their behavior.

e) Gabby’s Capricorn Kinship with Liz

[24:21]

• Finds out Liz shares her birthday (Jan 5), stirring empathy and self-recognition.
  • “She’s three days away from me. She’s January 5th. I see myself in her. I see myself in her. And that is dangerous.” – Gabby, [24:23]
• Posits that the appeal of reality TV is seeing “the faults of these other women” in ourselves.

f) More Scandals: Nose Jobs, Crying, Mommy Issues, and Jealousy

[27:51]

• Skewers Joellen’s “baby voice” and suggests trauma and abandonment (mommy issues) as roots of her volatility.
• Delivers a hilarious, gross-out monologue critiquing a storyline where Joellen’s sister sniffed Gary’s underwear.
• Highlights Liz’s mean streak toward Alicia and the shifting dynamics of power among the wives.
  • “Liz cannot take accountability, which we know. And she’s just like, be afraid of me. Which we are.” – Gabby, [32:00]
• Talks about Ashley’s sincerity, tears, and her function as the “voice of reason.”

g) Househusbands & Relationship Insights

[39:40]

• Gabby admires Joellen’s loyal, stand-up husband, arguing that a good partner often signals a kernel of truth or likeability in a housewife.
• “If you marry a crazy, you ride with her until you die with her. And that's on vows.” – Gabby, [40:10]

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3. Deep Dive Into the “Passport Bros” Subculture

[41:09 – 55:49]

a) Exposing the Subreddit

[41:09]

• Gabby reveals her Reddit rabbit hole: the “Passport Bros” who collect data on which countries have “most dateable women.”
  • “This is a new group of incel. This is a manlet. This is a different, I wouldn’t even say, the worst kind of man. But this, this is something that’s going on right underneath our noses.” – Gabby, [41:20]
• Outlines their tactics: setting up Tinder in multiple countries, compiling spreadsheets, and traveling abroad with predatory intentions.

b) Disgust at Predatory Behavior

[44:15]

• Lampoons their delusions (“If nobody likes you here, nobody likes you there. It’s physics. It’s Schrodinger’s cat.” – [44:20])
• Rebukes the fetishization of Filipino women, highlighting misogyny’s global migration and entitled objectification.
  • “You have to go to Manila to like, use and abuse a different sect of women. . . . This is just easier than trying to work on yourself and think about why in the world no one in your own country . . . will give you the time of day.” – Gabby, [43:12]

c) Memorable Tangents and Metaphors

• Satirical riff on the “audacity”:
  • “Take your dirty dick and skidded underwear that your mom is washing with gloved hands . . . She’ll get the hand, foot and mouth even just by looking at how much skids are on your underwear.” – Gabby, [47:30]
• Mocks their disbelief that foreign women might have ulterior motives, or autonomy.
• Describes the online ecosystem: any comment critiquing “Passport Bro” logic gets downvoted.
• “They only want attention to come from their own mouth, when they need it.” – Gabby, [29:05]

d) Hilarious Vignettes on Male Hygiene

• Shares a viral story about a man who never wipes and leaves evidence in the toilet, tying it back to general male selfishness.

e) Reflections on Gender, Power, and Dating

• Concludes: American women are “too independent, too free,” so men seek women “where they don’t have these things.”
• “What is wrong with you that you just don't want an equal?” – Gabby, [51:20]

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

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• “The only part of my morning that is good is nothing. And the only part of my day that is good is the night.” – Gabby, [01:15]
• On Housewives drama: “All Kelsey cares about is her perfect winged eyeliner and her perfect skin ... but she does not care about having a perfect personality.” – Gabby, [05:10]
• “At first, I did kind of like Rula … But then she completely flipped at the reunion.” – Gabby, [09:15]
• “We all know a Dieter. Dieter says she's a vegetarian. Except for every Saturday when she goes to the Taco Bell drive thru and gets a chicken quesadilla.” – Gabby, [14:40]
• “She could be a pathological liar who can believe their own lies.” – Gabby, [13:35]
• “She’s three days away from me. She’s January 5th. I see myself in her. I see myself in her. And that is dangerous.” – Gabby, [24:23]
• “If you marry a crazy, you ride with her until you die with her. And that’s on vows.” – Gabby, [40:10]
• On Passport Bros: “If nobody likes you here, nobody likes you there. It’s physics. It’s Schrodinger’s cat.” – Gabby, [44:20]
• “Take your dirty dick and skidded underwear that your mom is washing with gloved hands ...” – Gabby, [47:30]
• “What is wrong with you that you just don't want an equal?” – Gabby, [51:20]
• “You know what? This is just another sect of men who are audacious and disgusting and are, I guess, I guess have figured that, you know, American women have become too independent, too free. So they're sick of us ... So, so they're like, oh, I must go to a country where they don't have these things.” – Gabby, [51:57]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Time | Topic/Segment Description | |----------|---------------------------------------------------------| | 03:53 | Gabby’s anti-morning/anti-toxic positivity rant | | 03:55 | Introduction to Real Housewives of Rhode Island recap | | 05:30 | Cosmetic surgery confessions and Andy’s methods | | 06:35 | Joellen vs. Rula reunion showdown | | 10:00 | Liz’s possible lies and astrology breakdown | | 24:21 | Gabby’s kinship with Liz – shared Capricorn identity | | 27:51 | Joellen’s backstory, baby voice, housewives’ scandals | | 39:40 | The Househusbands and relationship takes | | 41:09 | Segment shift: Deep dive into Passport Bros subreddit | | 43:12 | Tinder “experiments” and the targeting of Filipino women | | 44:20 | Gabby’s take on dating physics (“if nobody likes you…”) | | 47:30 | Satirical riff on men’s hygiene and dateability | | 51:20 | Reflections on men’s search for “submissive” women | | 55:49 | Episode wrap-up |

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Tone & Style

Gabby’s signature is acerbic and self-deprecating, with a relentless wit and tendency for bold, memorable analogies. She blends raw personal insight with pop culture critique, astrology, and social commentary, moving rapidly from reality TV to weightier issues of misogyny and self-worth.

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Summary Flow & Utility

This episode is a rollercoaster of humor, vulnerability, and sharp cultural critique. Gabby arms the audience with hilarious recaps, introspective takes on personality and trauma, and a searing dissection of male entitlement in global dating.
Listeners new to the show will get a rich, behind-the-scenes sense of both Real Housewives melodrama and the online corners where modern dating anxieties fester—always through Gabby’s unfiltered, relatable, and riotous lens.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[C]

It's not random.

[B]

It's Sephora. Hello. I can't go in. I can't go in without finding something I absolutely need. I don't care how big or small makes me feel good. And Sephora is where you can find the newest, hottest drops you won't find anywhere else. And ain't that the truth? Say less. So shop the newest, hottest beauty only at Sephora. Hello. Hello. Good morning. Terrible morning. Why do we always lead the day with a good morning? Why can't it be a medium morning? Why can't it be. Hey, I know your day cannot be going good already right now, for it is the morning and not much has happened except you waking up tired and facing the day ahead of you. Morning. Our culture, our culture and our words and our vernacular are toxically positive. You remember that toxic positivity? Well, I do not abide. I abide by honesty. Vehemently. And it is not a good morning. It's a bad morning. Let me tell you. Not only because I'm here right now, because I have work to do, because I wake up and I have work to do, but because I'm tired and I snooze for 15 to 30 minutes and now I'm running late and then I have to look at everybody in their face and say, oh, good morning. Oh, good morning. No, the only part of my morning that is good is nothing. And the only part of my day that is good is the night. I wake up in the morning and I can't wait to say good night. Good morning. No, no. Morning. Just have to make it through the day until you can say good night. Because when I wake up each day, I want to go back to the night. And that's where I am right now. So let me drink some coffee. This episode is sponsored by Stella Rosa.

[C]

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[B]

It's a staple.

[C]

Join the [e-mail] or look for it

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at your local retailer.

[C]

Remember, you must be 21 plus to drink responsibly.

[B]

And now a word from our sponsors. You look around and everybody looks amazing. The summer glow and the same kind of a blush. And what about a berry lip liner?

[C]

It's not random.

[B]

It's Sephora. Hello. I can't go in. I can't go in without finding something I absolutely need. I don't care how big or small makes me feel good. And Sephora is where you can find the newest, hottest drops. You won't find any anywhere else. And ain't that the truth? Say less. So shop the newest, hottest beauty only at Sephora, so I know we're all watching Real Housewives of Rhode Island. I can't do Love island this year. I can't do it. I can't get sucked in. I refuse. I have a life to live. So let's get back to the less arduous Real Housewives of Rhode Island. But. But equally as good tv. Nobody cares about Kelsey. Nobody cares about Kelsey's beef with Rosie. Oh, you're upset she didn't share her haircut on social media. And you say this aloud multiple times at the risk of sounding like a desperado mamando. So it's like, listen to yourself for once. Maybe I get it. Maybe I get it. Maybe if she expressed before she had Rosie over. Hey, I am. I am trying to grow a business. So I will not charge you in lieu of you posting a picture, if you don't mind. No pressure, no big deal. All the while writing inside, knowing it is a huge deal. But she didn't lead with that. No, instead she made Rosie pay for her haircut. So it's free or bust. I'm sorry, this is an exchange and you have no right to be mad at her. And if she was a real friend, you could come to her more vulnerably and say, hey, Rosie, you really hurt my feelings. You know, I'm trying to grow this business. I think I'm a good haircutter. Next time will you please post me? So I just think Kelsey's a bully and she might have learned it from Liz and she had something personal against Rosie. It is clear. But I love Rosie's demeanor. I do want to look up all their astro signs I have, but I forgot. And all Kelsey cares about is her perfect winged eyeliner and her perfect skin and her perfect eyebrows and her perfect lip liner. But she does not care about having a perfect personality. Although her lip liner does stay in place like nothing I've ever seen. So maybe it's the only thing in her power that she can care about. And I do like her boyfriend, so I hope she hangs on to him. And I do like the boyfriends and husbands of this year, except for the Rue La La's, obviously. Obviously. And I think it's cruel slash partly hilarious that Andy makes all of the housewives admit what kind of work they've been done on tv. But it's like, what are you going to do when you get a full nose job in a lift lip lift within the matter of two weeks. We saw you one week and the next week you have a whole different face. But I will say her lip lift looks amazing. So I would like to know who she went to. It looks like she healed really fast. Normally it takes like six months to a year to heal. Her nose looks good, but it does need more time to drop. She, you know, sometimes they come out a little early. I would say she came out just a little too early. We've seen Madonna when she comes out a little early, but have you seen her last interview piece? She looks unrecognizably good. And when Joellen at the end was like screaming at Rula, they were screaming at each other like, sit down, Joel. And like, I'm gonna beat the fuck out of you. I'm gonna beat you up and punch you in your face. And Alicia's like, don't do that. She just got her face done with all sincerity. That was good. And that's how we all feel. Maybe punch her in the gut, maybe punch her silicone inflated tits with the hope of a pop. But stay away from the nose. It is very expensive. We're talking, I don't know, 10 to 15 to $20,000. But maybe if she did get a little bit of a blow to the nose, it would drop faster than she would expect and she could forego the hoo hoo and get on with a Regular rhino. But we know that is not the case of. Of consciousness. We can't think that far ahead. You're not going to willingly take a punch from Joellen with the hopes your nose will drop a little more. But maybe she should just to get Joellen to stop threatening, because she's always threatening to beat people up. I'm gonna punch you in the face, then I'm gonna punch you in the face, and then I'm gonna punch your mother in the asshole, because it's basically what her face looks like. Do it. Do it already. Stop threatening like the world is gonna be over. End it already. I'm sick of the threats. I can't make it through this. I can't. Put your money where your mouth is, Apocalypse. I can't keep dealing with this. I can't keep dealing with this. Wonderment. Let's see a fist fight. Not that I would will that on anyone. I don't like watching fist fights, especially a woman. But maybe a quick, swift jab to the face, because I think if we are watching any current franchise, this would be the one. So. And, you know, I was surprised. I was surprised to see Rula act a little bit of a snake, of a slithering python in the grass, ready to get your ass when you didn't ask for it and you feign loyalty. This is Rula. And, you know, I think collectively, we're like, damn rules. Piping up a lot. And I didn't think anything of it. I'm like, oh, she's contributing to the reunion, but where was she all season? So what are your motives behind this? Because she has a lot to say. And at first, I did kind of like Rula. I'm like, oh, she's kind of like a Dolores. She stays out. She stays out of the drama. She's too good for it. We know she's rich, Okay? I don't mind her knowing her place. But then she completely flipped at the reunion. Like on. Like on Liz, her friend sitting right next to her. When the cat's away, the mice will play. And I don't even remember the interview where Rulala says that, but obviously she did. We have it on camera. And. And now obviously, Liz is calling her out right next to her. But you just don't know who's telling the truth ever. Because we have our doubts against Liz, but sometimes I'm like, I don't know. You can't always just one person because it's against a pathological liar. Like, I do think Liz has something where she believes all her lies like that. That. That thing. And Rula doubles down. Liz is like. She's saying, you know, Liz was the mice who was playing. Rula is. And Liz says, well, and you called my husband and rules like, no, I didn't. I never talked to Jerry. And she's deflecting. She's deflecting. And she brought up all of these mices, and now she's one. And they're all gonna get stuck in their Velveeta cheese. So it's just weird. They're friends and would just let out. The mice will play on the friends outlet on the Liz. Keep Liz out of the mice if she's your friend. I don't get too involved in other people's relationships. Especially if two mice get the cookie. Then is it all. Even when you get a. Give a mouse the cookie, they want some fucking milk. But there's two mice around here, maybe three. Rule up maybe four. Because we know your husband's cheating on you. So what is the point? And then Rula, she gets all defensive and is like, subpoenaed the court. Subpoena the phone records. This is in court. This is not a court of law. And if it was, you would be. You would be indicted for perjury. Because are you telling the truth? I mean. I mean, I don't know. But I also just can't put my finger on Liz either. I can't really sniff her out, even though she's crazy and we do know it. We're all wondering what's in that weed factory. Like, it's giving less dispensary and more Charlie and the chocolate factory substance that got grandpa to get out of bed after he was bed bound for decades and walk. This is what the substance is giving that we saw her massive factory being grown at. It cannot be just regular thc. This isn't the mother goddess. We know, the green mother goddess. This is she. She has a bit of evil intent. We don't know through what, which kind of heaven she came from. It could have been on a different universe, the Kepler. And she could have a little maliciousness in her. Just a dash of a evil laugh from this factory. Because Liz, she does freak out on Joellen a lot. And all she has to say is your psychopath and you're scary. And it's like, I just don't see it. But maybe it's the edit, because can we believe Joellen either? But she seems to take accountability and like, I don't know, she has a stable husband and the husband dies for her. Which I love. They're one of my favorite couples. Like I think Liz would be amazing if she actually. If we could tell that she was just telling the truth. You know she's this bold figure who's just right off all of the time. But you just. You know you can convince yourself of that but it doesn't mean it's true. But I do think she could be a pathological liar who can believe their own lies. Like we know all those. We know a couple of those. We all have kind of those in our lives. Like a deeter. We all know Dieter. Dieter got attacked by a grizzly bear. But she has no claw scars. There's no signs of the grizzly poking his nails in her while she's playing dead. We all know a Dieter. Dieter says she's a vegetarian. Except for every Saturday when she goes to the Taco Bell drive thru and gets a chicken quesadilla. Dieter. Which ones is it? But she says it's not real chicken. So is she a liar or is she of sound reason? We don't know what's in that chicken. We all know a dieter. Dieter says she's a lesbian but never had a munch lunch. But never lunched with a munch but never has munched for lunchtime. So we just. We don't know at this point if Liz is a dieter or a dieter is a Liz. But you know what? I have a soft spot for both. Sometimes a personality can really win me over. And there's something about Liz that I just like want to like. I can't explain it but she is like those Alicia episodes I was getting. I just couldn't watch it anymore. The way she was treating Alicia and it was. It was really devastating. That made me really question her. But then it's like okay, maybe like sees like me and Liz. I was looking up her astro chart. Obviously. I. I know Alicia is a Sagittarius. I think there's quite a few libras. Naturally they're hard. It's hard to find a Capricorn. We're the rarest sign of them all. But me. But me and Liz were not only just of the same sun placements of a Capricorn. But we both have our moons in Leo. And nobody knows her rising. What if she was a rising Aries just like me? And I hate to say it but there are a lot of similarities. Not yet alone. Just the reefer. Someone who does astrology. Can you please write in and tell me about this star lineation Delineation is about and why I love the gan just so bad and why Liz and I are stuck in this cycle of being high off a substance. Whatever it comes, it comes from the ground. Okay? But one thing I do know about Capricorns is we. We are the eldest sign and we carry all of the abuse. Generational abuse. It happened to your great great grandmother. I don't know. She's got an alcoholic great great great grandmother. And I feel it all. I feel it. It's heavy on my shoulders. It weighs on my legs. I can barely drudge through the house and be draggled. And you got to smoke through that situation, you know? And that's why I want to know about Liz's past and childhood. Because I know. I know there's something that's causing the little demons in those laser pointer eyes. It can't just be Joellen. She doesn't look at you. She doesn't look at you with those big bugs. She looks right through you. And you know she's seen some shit. Whether in her dreams or in real life or through her great great grandmother of the generational trauma. She's seen it. I was so excited to see. To see this rich bitch made rich off of her dispensary or dispensary, whatever you prefer. One R or two R's. But then she lost me so quick. But that is a Capricorn trait. Is that the riches? We like finer things. We like the money. So it's like she is a true Capricorn, which is scary me. But now I don't know if she's a December or January that we might have to look up. But she nonetheless is mental. So I wouldn't be surprised if she just made up out of thin air that ruler called Brian and Liz's husband. Or no, Rula and Brian called Liz's husband Jerry. God, there's so many to tell on her as a mouse. But maybe it was somebody else who called Jerry and Liz is just pointing fingers to someone right next to her. Maybe Liz is too high for any of this and she just cannot remember straight because I obviously relate to that as two Capricorns. But it does really seem like loser or loser. And Rulalaza is losing her mind at this reunion. I don't know who would really come for Liz while they're right next to her and Rule is trying to laugh it off. And I do like how Liz queens. She cucks. She'll put you in a corner and be like, tell me the truth and I will lie and make you feel like an idiot, but I'm right here and I'm not going to deflect. Is Liz high in her confessionals? Absolutely. And I heard she wasn't coming back this year through a reliable source of Reddit, but I hope that's not the case because she did provide a lot of drama and I think we would miss her overall. And I, you know, I think she does have. She's known these other wives for a long period of time. It would be boring without her. But I just, I wish she was nicer to Alicia. We can't stand our girl, our favorite girl, Alicia being taken down in that manner. And. Yeah, so I don't know. But. But did Joellen get a nose job too? It looks a little elongated. Maybe she got a liquid rhinoplasty. But everyone looks great. They always look great. At the reunion, They were talking about Ashley's crying. Naturally, they. I thought she would have cried way more than seven times. Maybe it was just on the camera, but I, I actually think it's kind of endearing. I mean, if I was there in person, I would be like, okay, Ashley, enough. Or maybe I would be like, wow, this is somebody with a pure heart. She just seems sincere. It doesn't seem like she's tearing up for fake and for attention. She literally cannot help it. It's a compulsion. Like her ears, her eyes stay on the boundary of lacrimos at any point in time. And I think she cries happy tears a lot. And as a depressed person, you wish one tear could fall from being happy. You wish on every 11, 11 on every shooting star. Can I have a tear fall from happiness? No. You wish one tear could fall from something other than being forlorn, isolated. You wish, as a depressed person, you wish one tear could fall from something other than self loathing for no reason. You ate yourself, you have no reason. Everybody else loves you. It doesn't matter. Inside there's a little girl and she's angry, but that fate is not for me. She's probably a Libra or Pisces. The Libras, they're pretty light out there, you know? And part of me is jealous. It's the green with an envy. I'm olive green because I think criers are actually happier. And I do cry. I do cry. I am a crier, but I use it to manipulate. We are two different kinds of criers. This is unconscious and I can't help it. Much like Liz and her whine, this is not something I am privy to and that will not be helped. Maybe. Maybe. For example, I have had a tiff with Robbie. It comes. It comes to fruition that I did in fact misplace her John Mulaney tote bag that she holds so dear because he directed her special when I was very high with my friend Macy and we were shopping through my closet because she was taking a trip to New York. Yeah, yeah. Maybe it was a full of that resin and an extra high joint with the. With a coating around it. So maybe I didn't remember what tote bag. I put my shirt in and she was upset and she was like, where's the bag? I jet in my mind. I have no idea where the bag is. I was so high. I again was not privy to that information. But something inside me knew it was my fault. And she was not taking the gaslighting Robbie. She was not taking it. I said, why does it have to be my fault? How come you couldn't have lost it? But she didn't take it. She didn't take the bait. So I had to cry. So he had to squeeze some tears out. Like I was really upset. But she knows what I'm doing anyway, so it doesn't work. Yes, we all have faults. I am not perfect. A mere foible. But I think Ashley's are quite genuine. I don't think they're manipulative. And I think her and Jared are quite cute. So. And I have met her before actually, and she seems like just like in real life she is on tv. Like she's a genuine person. And I do like a genuine person. So I really took to her, you know. Should we just look up everyone's sign? I've done this at least 1 million times. There's an Instagram about it, but I never remember of Rhode Island Astra. Oh, I feel the fatigue overcoming my body. But I didn't have enough time to make another copy. AI who knows absolutely nothing. I've stopped reading AI I'm so done with it. It's like, but let's. But right now I recommence. AI says Rio has a robot island is highly polarized by their star signs. Jesus Christ. What does that even mean? It says Liz is a Capricorn slash. Sagittarius. I don't know. Alicia's a Sagittarius, Kelsey is an Aquarius. Makes sense. Makes sense. They exist up here, you know. Up here, for those listening, is about 1ft6.6 inches above the dome. They're quite in space. I don't get them. I need you 10 toes on the ground. Because that's where I am. My ankles are in the earth of the mother. I'm so far grounded. I am in touch. You are mere feet away from me. It is going to be very hard to meet in the middle. Joellen is a Leo. That makes sense. Rosie is a Taurus. That means Ashley is a Pisces and rules a Gemini. How explanatory is this Rula Gemini. Two sides. Ashley's made of water and her tears are. Rosie is a Taurus. She is. She's just kind of like. She is grounded. She does like luxury, it seems. It's kind of like it comes and it goes. Joellen loves the attention, so I think it all just makes sense. Let's see when Liz McGraw's birthday is, though, because I would like to know if she is a January Capricorn or December. They say there's a difference. I'm a January.

[D]

Shh.

[B]

You guys. You can't make this up. She's three days away from me. She's January 5th. I see myself in her. I see myself in her. And that is dangerous. And that's probably why I let her get away. With May rare. With Mer rare. She can do it. She can do it. And I would bail her out. How much would her bail be? I don't know. She's worth a lot. So I would probably have to do a go. I'd probably have to crowdsource for her. Her bailing. But you know what? We could get a lot of Capricorns alike. We all see a little bit of ourselves in her, which is why we like to watch Housewives, which is why we like to watch these unscripted shows is because you can see yourself in all the faults of these other women. So all of our faulty Capricorness, which we cannot control. It was where the moon was when we popped out of our mother's, which I didn't even ask for. My therapist is. You didn't ask to be born. And. Exactly. I don't know if it's helping to remind me. I didn't ask to be here. Us Capricorns, we didn't ask to be here. So we have to stick together. And crowdsource for Liz's bail. Now, a word from our sponsors. Have you had a BlackBerry recently? I mean it.

[C]

Have you?

[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[B]

Oh, my God. That's.

[C]

That's. Therealreal.com winded therealreal.com winded so I'm making my way.

[B]

I'm making my way through the reunion. Who else? We talked about Joellen's elongated nose. I don't. I think, you know, I think it looks great, but it's just a little different. But I would. I don't know. Joellen has like two different dialects. She has two different lilts. She has quite a little. It goes up and down. And sometimes when she talks, it's quite soft. It's like when. Whenever she's getting yelled at or she's trying to defend herself, it's like, I think it's a manipulative tactic that she drops. And it's like this week, sweet fake voice when someone is coming for her, like Rula. And like, I don't like to talk about people's voices because people are like, does she actually talk like that. She has a baby voice. It's like, I don't. You guys. I know. I don't know if I had. I was dropped as a baby multiple times. Like, it could be from drama, but all of a sudden, Joellen turns into this big, butch. Big butch les. When anger comes into her body, she raises her voice and drops. She raises her awk. She raises her projection and drops her oct. But I think we can all agree in that we feel bad for Joellen and her mommy issues. I mean, we know from that of Paris that those schools are just incredibly terrible. And you only send your kid away to those schools because you do not care about them and you don't want to take care of them. So I do think she's a victim. Her mom doesn't like her. It's true. And mommy issues, as speaking from experience, can really fuck you up and make you act crazy. My mom didn't even send me away.

[C]

She.

[B]

At least she just stayed in the house and hated me, but she didn't do it from afar. And there's just no excuse for setting your kid away. There's no good. There's. There's no reason. There's no good in it. It's cruel, and you don't love her, and it's as simple as that. And then it's like the sister wanting her husband Gary. I don't know if I've been too high watching this. It is the vet feeling, crawling into bed, opening the tv, getting high, and watching Real Housewives of Rhode Island. But some of the clips, I swear to God, I haven't seen, like, Joellen's sister sniffing Gary's underwear and being like, it tastes so good is so weird, incredibly strange and creepy. I wouldn't even say that to Robbie. Maybe I would, but she's the only person I would ever say it to. I would never say it to her brother. Shalom. I'm not sniffing in Sholem's underwear and tasting them. First of all, why are her even dirty paws on the underwear? Why is she doing their laundry? I'm growing bilious. And, like, obviously Rula will not stop coming from Joe or for Joellen because she thinks it's Joellen. So fault that she outed Rula's affair with Brian. But, like, everyone knew that the town is small and it was like, in the tabloids. And Rula made an addendum to the show on her own accord, her own storyline that Brian started tracking her. She wanted this storyline on the season. So aren't you a part of this and now you're pointing all fingers at Joellen when you're actively exploiting your own terrible marriage. So whose fault is it? She's just desperate for attention, but she only wants her attention to come from her own mouth when she needs it. Like, it's just not the way it works. Also, play the victim. It gets you more places. Don't be an asshole and look like a crazy person saying that these photos were doctored by a. I wake up in that scene, that B roll scene of her lane in bed, deathly ill from whatever we never got to know, what with a full face of makeup on. You know, that was post filming. You know, they were like, we, I think we have an idea for some B roll and footage to really make complete. When you faked an illness because you didn't want to hang out with the girls because you're doing X, Y and Z. So just like we're just going to get you in bed. She was not sick. But you know, we like to see a little peek behind the scenes that's in front of the scenes. But we all know no matter what you say, your husband is ugly and disgusting and he hates you and he's a podiatrist. The worst kind of doctor that's ever existed besides a chiropractor. It's like, it's really just incredible. It's really incredible. And I did hate when we love Alicia. You know, she's perfect. She loves the cracker. She loves everything. She's just like when she was like, you don't know your personality until you see yourself on tv. I've never like related to that more. It's like, who knows, you know, what you're actually like. But I think it's very endearing and like, I don't know, just not a self absorbed person. But when Liz came for her for like not being homeless on TV incessantly was like just so uncomfortable. And all Liz had to do was apologize. I think she kind of apologized at the reunion, but it's like she's still mad at Joellen. But obviously Joellen is going to validate Alicia's feelings over Liz. Liz because she sees the problem in this situation. What Liz was being a tyrant, terrorist, terrorist, screaming at Alicia that she wasn't homeless when Alicia's family on camera said she was. And there's like, of course different comprehensions of what homeless means. But that's not what she was getting mad about. She was trying to invalidate Alicia's storyline and it wasn't even victimhood. She was just talking about it. They were all talking about it. I think because she's jealous of Alicia and knows probably how well loved she's gonna be and that she is a real person and she wants that for herself, but she can't have it. But it's like she just cannot. Liz cannot take accountability, which we know. And she's just like, be afraid of me. Which we are. With her rock hard tits in the veins crawling up her neck, she's like, be scared. It's like, we are your scary. But. And she's like a little bit of a mental gaze. And it's like she kind of has an excuse for everything. She was like you know, going in. It was a setup. It was a setup. You're telling me you didn't know three days before that we weren't going to talk about this, that this is a setup. So maybe she's a bit paranoid, honestly. She could have a bit of paranoia that is real to her, that is

[C]

not

[B]

actually there to everybody else. And hello, wake up. Reality tv. Is the setup up, you know, what you signed up for, therefore you must act accordingly and not lose your cool. It's like this is an epithet of every reality TV star's past. Buck up or up. Another epithet. You know, it's like you have to be prepared for these things and bob and weave and not just go for the KO and knock yourself out. But I am really proud of Alicia because I think she was afraid of Liz in the beginning of the season. And then she really came into herself and was like, you know, I'm not going to take this anymore. And she knows that Liz is jealous of her because she has a great relationship. She's the cutest kid ever. And, you know, she's just happy and like, wants to live life for herself when like, something is bringing Liz down. And I can relate. I'm never going to be a Sagittarius. I'm never going to be happy. Go lucky. I'm never gonna see the bright side of everything. I'm never gonna walk into a room after I've been crying and be able to turn it around. I will make everyone miserable. So it's just like, I don't know, it kind of is what it is, but it's like Liz is always talking about smoking cigs. Liz's snow suit smells like smoke. It's like iconic. Another Capricorn trait maybe. We just like to inhale. We like to hit it. We like to hit it. And we like to rip it and we like to, to have a couple darts now and then in a snowsuit out of a snowsuit, in a fight, out of a fight to relax just all of the time really. And you know, that's why I'm like, okay, you might be listening to this, being like this is Gabby's one bad opinion, one bad take she's ever had. But the problem is, is, and it's a very human experience is when you see yourself in somebody. And I was a little confused when like Ashley pipes up and I do think, I hope she finds her voice because I do think she's a voice of reason and we need that. We need somebody to like level the playing field. We need a Bethany Frankel in this. Now Ashley is not capable of that. But we need somebody who doesn't really take sides, who calls you out, who sees it as it is and people respect. So they take their word. But when, when Ashley was like being there, being there as a viewer, you know, on the other side of the camera, it seem like it was a two sided fight and like Liz needed someone to be there for her. I don't understand what that meant. Two sided, you mean two against one? Because I don't think Alicia was coming for her. I feel like it was like a two sided. Yeah, it was Joellen against Liz and they can both hold their own as far as I'm concerned. As far as I'm concerned, they are both more than capable of holding their own. So I don't know what we didn't see that would cause Ashley to say that because obviously it was something and, and Kelsey is just so far up Liz's ass that she really can't see straight. She's coming out the mouth and it's like there is a reason behind it and I think it could be blackmail or some kind of a financial purpose that she will not stick up for Liz. She's kissing Liz's ass. She's in. She'll like defend Liz and her behavior and take everything to the grave. And it's like, what is it? What is it Kelsey? What does she know that we don't? What kind of a loan did she give you when your boyfriend. Also when Rosie was like, yeah, you've had a co worker in Florida for 10 years. And she just said it under her breath like, I love Rosie's comebacks. But it's like, yeah, there's something, there is something that needs to come to the surface and I cannot wait to see what it is. I can't wait. But then When Liz says, I still don't understand Liz and Joellen, I don't know if I ever will. But I do have respect for someone who's going to be like, I don't know why you are so delusional enough to think that we're best friends. Where did you get this from? And Joanne was like, we just spent Mother's Day together. And that's where I get lost. And Liz had nothing to say, but I can relate to her by someone, like, it's like someone who has expectations in a friendship or thinks you're way better friends. And it's like, like, let's just all live in reality here. But. And then she's like, Liz goes, you know what? I don't know. There's something in my soul that just rejects you. And I think that's the most honest thing she's ever said. And I like it and I'm gonna take it for my own. I don't know why I don't like people sometimes, but there's quite a few. And I can't put my finger on it, but it's just. I have to record my ads after this. But it is something that I just reject in you inherently. And I will be using that. I will be using that the next chance I get to. I don't know, my soul just rejects you. And that's some insightful Capricorn. So that's what I think I can't wait for, for this week's reunion. Because then the husbands come out. I think the husbands add a lot. They're not afraid to fight. I do love Joellen's husband. I love Alicia's husband. Joe. Ellen's husband can just get, get anything out of Brian. And Brian, like, succumbs. I think Brian wants to. Joellen's husband. What's his name? I forget, maybe another Brian. But it's like. And you know what with his confidence and the way he rides for his wife. Same. He is the best man on the cast. Which makes me think that, like, there is a kernel of truth in Joanne because she has a great relationship and she has like, like a pretty good family. And I feel like that's always telling. But also if you know, you have. If you know, you marry a crazy, you ride with her until you die with her. And that's on vows. That's just what you vow at the altar. So I like him. I think he's a stand up man. Let's see how long. Okay, you know what? We've been going actually. Illumination presents Minions and Monsters. You want to make a monster movie? And what are you going to use

[D]

for your monster on July 1st?

[B]

I know the perfect monster for your movie. Just try not to look too delicious.

[E]

Quick question.

[B]

I want to eat one of these funny looking yellow guys.

[E]

Is that okay?

[B]

Minions and Monsters. Rated pg. Parental guidance suggested some material may not be suitable for children only. In theaters July 1st. And you know me. You know me. You know I'm on the Reddits. This is where I spend my time. It's a wealth of knowledge that you have to decipher for yourself. It's if it's true or fake, if it's a bot or AI or a real person or what kind of skincare product is shilling on you for people paid to show. It's fun, it's a game. But I'm on a plethora of different subreddits. I could go through them all, but I will just start with an interesting one that I don't know how I joined, but I'm here. It's called R Passport Bros. This is for research. This is dedicated to men who discuss what dating women is like in different countries because they can't get any here. I wonder why. This is a new group of incel. This is a manlet. This. This is a different, I wouldn't even say the worst kind of man. But this, this is something that's going on right underneath our noses, that we had no idea. You have to go on Reddit and do your own research and join some kind of obscure Reddit thread. They go to different countries like predators, thinking it will save them, when all they really need is a therapist to let them in on all their misogyny. Instead, they. Instead. What is that word? They subject women of other countries to this behavior. They get on Tinder in hundreds of different countries. Who has the time? Presumably an unemployed living in their mother's basement taking one too many helpings of the meatloaf and not leaving her any of her homemade cooking. These are who the Passport Bros are and this man who set up a tender and hundreds of different countries who's running this experiment. He's like, here are the women who are most likely to go on a date with you. And he says, I should make a spreadsheet. Number one women in the Philippines. What? So you're going to go to a foreign country and prey on women because you ran some weird experiment? And it's like. And then people are encouraging this behavior and want it just ready at their fingertips to open up a spreadsheet to see what country will work in their favor as a predator, but they have to fly all the way to Manila to like, use and abuse a different sect of women. So you just, you are just making this into a spreadsheet so you can blast this information at the click of a finger to other desperate men like you? I think not. And I dissent. And this is just easier than trying to work on yourself and think about why in the world no one in your own country or state or a better, better city or community or some kind of civilization will give you the time of day. You've never wondered that. You never wondered why you have to get a Tinder and assign it to multiple different countries? Because nobody likes you. If nobody likes you here, nobody likes you there. It's physics. It's Schrodinger's cat. It's the mouse and the cookie and the mice. When the mice are away, we play the cheese. And you know what I mean? And it's like, don't. Isn't there something easier than this far fetched of an act? So they shop for foreign women to get away from their bad behavior. This is a whole Reddit sub dedicated to these kind of perverts. And get this, there's 93,000 weekly visitors. That, that is so many weekly. There is a lot. And I'm just one of them. And mine is for strictly research. And I would, I would go out on a limb and say I'm the minority and the other 92,900 are the majority trying to get this sick information. So in the thread there was a post they posted, some troll got a hold of a tick tock about a girl rightfully chastising these weird passport bros, as they call themselves. And she's like, you know this is happening. And it's like, she didn't say this, but it's like 90 day fiance, that guy with no neck, and he's like, I love the view. And all these fiances just want citizenship. And these guys, they just don't ever think that there could be an ulterior motive like that they are so special and from this perfect man planet that they deserve a woman from a different culture who could possibly appreciate their bland, boring, wet blanket, milk toast, nasty ass. We are women. We have inherent wisdom. It comes with our pussy. It doesn't come with where we were born. It does not come in our natal city. It comes along with what treasure is between my legs. And it knows to stay far away from you or only use you for your money. And These guys, they're, they're just beyond. And they're like, she's just trying to get clicks. She didn't even get that many clicks. We're only just now starting to know what Passport bros are thank to me and enlightening you. So it's like just not that clickable. Everything they don't like, it's like, this is rage bait. This is rage bait. This, it's like, when is it just not rage bait and you don't like it. Everything is rage bait that you don't like. Okay, okay. No, it's a belief and it's the truth. And then obviously after, after the comments of, okay, this is just clickbait, she's doing it. And then the next, she's ugly. Ugly. She's just ugly. No, she's not. She's actually not ugly at all. Any guy on this, on this Reddit sub who's living in their mother's basement eating the leftover green beans from three days ago because she's forcing him to get some greens because he's co logging the toilet with his constipated shit would be on their hands and knees for a woman like this if he saw her in person. And they just can't believe that these women, these foreign women would be of interest of them because of their money. Because if you can't pull here, why would you be able to pull anywhere? It doesn't, it doesn't even require a half of a wit. It requires a none wit. And the people who speak truth on this subreddit, like you have to be whatever. You have to know they're just wanting you for your money. They get downvoted. It's like, this is such a crazy place. This, we want to stop talking about men. Maybe we want to give, we want them to heal. And then this just jumps out at me. And somehow the Philippines is the target of all these men. And I'm not kidding, they're like, I want a Filipina. We have to go to the Philippines. We have to spread the word, tell Olivia Rodrigo we must keep these women safe. And it's like this guy's like, I, I think Filipinas are kind and good looking and I hope to date one one day emoticon smiley face for none other reason than their locale or a fetishization. Fetishization, Fetish, fetishization of Filipino women, of Asian women. Like, this is just another excuse for men to have, have perverse period fetishes. It's like, please keep us out of it. Us as women. Take your dirty dick and skidded underwear that your mom is washing with gloved hands and the bleak bleach Michael Jackson used to make his skin white. Because she can't, because it will send her a virus. She'll get the hand, foot and mouth even just by looking at how much much skids they're on in your underwear. This is what kind of person you are. And you think going by just going to another country is going to save you. And then there was another. There was another one that says, I, I'm wanting to date, to marry, so I'm going to the Philippines for an extended stay to have a wife and a family. Just like that. Just like, it'll happen because he wills it. Just because. Just like. What do you think? Do you think these women are up for adoption? Do you think women are just like, waiting in a little cage, like, dying for somebody to come take them home? No. They actually have autonomy. And how are you going to gaslight and convince and start a family in a mere 365 days? Do you think women devalue themselves this much because they live in another country? These are predators and these poor Filipino women are prey. And it's like, I just don't get it. And, oh, yeah. And he goes, how do I navigate all of these potential relationships? Like, he has the. He has the severe audacity that even one woman will say yes. He's like, I just don't want to mislead anyone and take advantage or just like, be a dick about it. I swear, I have pure intention. No, you don't. He's talking about. And then the comments are like, just island hop and pump and dump until your heart's content. He's like, well, what if, what if the guy who posted, like, what if the first person I meet in the Philippines, I want to be my wife? What do I tell her when I want to fuck the rest of the Filipino women in this country? It's like, where, where do you get off? Nobody wants to engage in sexual acts with you. Like, what is going on in your head? But. And this is all that men think about. It's still the objectivity. Getting as getting laid as much as possible, maybe going back to the original one. Plus, have you even thought about the cultural boundaries? Would you. What if you guys don't even speak the same language? Ideal, he says, says so he can control. I'm. I've. I, at this point, I'm nauseous. I'm bilious. I've grown green and Yellow. I don't know if you can see the color of my skin. I'm solo on the inside and the outside. Who are these men with such gumption? 93,000 of them. And this is only, only on an ambiguous, obscure Reddit thread. Not everybody's on Reddit like me. It's just, it is, it is pure insanity. It's like we get worse and worse and worse and worse and, and there's. And we still convince ourselves that we could be straight. I don't know. I don't know how you are in this kind of a climate. I mean, of course you can't, you can't control it, but I just don't think you've tried hard enough. So you know what? I don't know. This is just another sect of men who are audacious and disgusting and are, I guess, I guess have figured that, you know, American women have become too independent, too free. So they're sick of us. They're sick of us having our own ideas. They're sick of us and our self worth. So, so they're like, oh, I must go to a country where they don't have these things. No, one, like I said, these are inherent characteristics. And two, like, what is wrong with you that you just don't want an equal? Then there was this one guy who was like, I moved to another country. And then I met a neighbor. Naturally he thought he was going to move to another country, like, pull, like whatever, meet his neighbor, fall happily in love because she's of a different culture. I met a Spanish woman, he says, and she is not anything but feminine. She's not delicate and she's not feminine like I expect every woman of my neighbor to be. Because a feminine is to be mute and to say nothing and blow in the wind like lavender on a bush or like a dandelion. If I blow on her head, it will disappear in her face when I want her to. No, because we're not weeds. We're good for the soil. And you're just a lumber tree chopper taking down the rainforest to build your tech building. You're sick and disgusting and a freak and you can smell them a million miles away like Kim Kardashian canned to a cavity, like garlic stinking up your kitchen when you're making a red sauce like the dookie said insult left in the toilet and didn't flush and didn't wipe because there is no toilet paper in the toilet and your ass is filled with crusty dingleberries to assault everyone else because you are so incredibly selfish. And you're a cock making terrorist. You have to look up this video of this girl talking about how she. She was engaged to this guy who, who didn't clean his ass. And this is how she knew because he would leave dump the toilet for all to see with no toilet paper. And then she finally figured out, and then he, she talked to his mom and then her mom corroborated. This is the state of men. Yeah, you think I'm not sick of talking about it? You think, you think I don't wish there was anything else to discuss? Well, there's not. And that's my cue. I have to record my ads and then get on with my day and then go to bed. See you soon.

[D]

Hey, everybody, Ted Danson here to tell you about my podcast with my longtime friend and sometimes co host Woody Harrelson. It's called where everybody knows your name and we're back for another season. I'm so excited to be joined this season by friends like John Mulaney, David Spade, Sarah Silverman, Ed Helms, and many more. You don't want to miss it. Listen to where everybody knows your name with me, Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson. Listen sometimes wherever you get your podcasts.

[E]

Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co founder of angie. When you use Angie for your home projects, you know all your jobs will be done well. Roof repair, done well. Kitchen sink install, done well. Deck upgrades, done well. Electrical Upgrade, done well. Angie's been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for nearly 30 years. So we know the difference difference between done and done well. Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find a pro for your project at Angie. Combination.