Host (22:55)

This podcast is supported by FX's Love Story, John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bessette. The new limited series from executive producer Ryan Murphy. It explores the complex courtship of the iconic couple considered to be American royalty, whose love story captured the attention of the nation. Their fairy tale romance would unfold in front of the public eye, where their private love would also become a national obsession. FX's love story John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bassett. Watch now on FX, Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus for bundle subscribers.

Gabby (23:26)

It's February, the days are still dark and you don't have a valentine. Plus, we're in a snowstorm. But don't get discouraged yet. Even though your expectations are higher in the school year and school work starts to feel more demanding. Well, IXL helps kids stay confident and consistent as the semester picks up speed. IXL is an award winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning. Whether they'll they're building math confidence, strengthening reading and writing skills or reviewing science concepts. Honestly, my favorite I Excel is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the u. S. Whoa. It's an easy way to support learning as the school year moves into its most important stretch. We're almost a summer baby. We gotta hold on. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and long winded with Gabby Wendy Listeners can get an exclusive 20 off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com Gabby visit ixl.com Gabby to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. I get it. Mother Nature covets me. But that bitch is no mama of mine. Not right now. And then. And then a couple of snowboarding angels gasp at their findings of a young adventurous tempted by adrenaline. They say to one another in a special kind of language there's skis here brah. And over here. I welp and scre and scream in a thc written tone, listless but somehow emergent. They bring me my skis and I am off again retiring my amygdala and start Rebecca Another classic of sorts over an opera of an espresso martini. Not what a hoax the the. The imperious espresso Martini is. I don't believe you. It's disgusting and bitter and there's no real espresso half the time, only liqueur making my stomach and intestines rumble with artificial flavoring. And this artificial flavoring produces so much nitrous oxide I could motor myself down the next phantom. Blue Double Black Diamond Moguled Mountain. The. The. The espresso martini is trying to outshine the original taste maker of an rbv. A bourgeoisie version of the classic but trashic cocktail. Why do we need another? Huh? A sugar free Red Bull vodka will always stand as the primary crack loaded cocktail. And all the others. They're just im. They're just. Just like me. And they're all imitating. I can't do it. The right consonant sounding phonetically. But like Eminem, you know what I'm talking about. He proph. Prophetically remarked. All you others are just imitating. That's what the espresso Martini is. Sure. Sure. Maybe an RBV lacks a sophistication of your acrid espresso drink. For it is made only for the suitable bud of taste. A person reveling in the lower class with confidence and experience and knowing a scam when she sees one. A person free from the handcuffs of judgment and gaslighting that comes with the upper class, a person liberated with the gasoline that gives you wings. So strong is the gas that it doesn't even matter what kind of a vodka you want to mix it with. You can go top shelf to get a little high and a low. Or you can go straight ever clear to clear those memories out. As things start to become brown in your memory and then fully Black. And finally 911 comes to bring you off that mountain. You are in no position. In another life, I say, maybe I could be a housewife. Maybe I could be a woman of servitude like Jane Eyre. Does she or does she not want to serve a man? Yes, but no. Yes, that's how you show your love. But no, but no. You want to be independent and all knowing and traveled. Make up your mind. I have made up mine. This is a new kind of hobby for me. In another life I will serve. I'll have the frozen. The frozen pot pie in the oven while the great berater drives his long drive home, making sure the pot pie is just fully undercooked with hopes of salmonella or at the very least a parasite. But his body is ridden. But his body is so stubborn that his insides are too rotten for even a parasite to floor. Let me say that. Let me say it again. But. But his body is ridden with stubborn insides to. But his body is ridden with stubborn insides too rotten for even a parasite to flourish. I'll have an addiction to a crisp Sauv Blanc with a hint of a crisp Granny Smith and the crisp, crisp, crisp. I start in the morning after slaving over overnight oats, even in the evening before, and feel the fresh respite travel down my gullet. Nutrition. By 2pm I'll have a Xanax, especially if I'm driving the Mini to polo practice. Swallow the poison as if it were nectar. I did get that from Jane Eyre. But I don't even care. I don't even know if I like her. But she has one good quote. So what? The Mini is too big for me to. To operate and the floor is littered with the demise of a Cheerio and my identity squished, crunched into tiny pieces. Who have I become as I get dressed in a bodycon for a PTO meeting? I have to maintain, I must maintain a semblance of myself, even at risk of being deemed the town whore. I don't care. I don't care. That's for you, not for me. I shall not take that on. And then on the side, to aid my personal credit card and financial gains, which I have to hide from Jerry, my wedded husband. I'll join an MLM scheme. This sounds good. First, I'll try selling Chia Pets to the neighbors. And to them I say I harage. Chia Pets are the number one producer of oxygen and will fill your home and lungs with fresh air. Your children will start to clean their rooms and all of a sudden they're helping you with the dishes at night. And they'll even put on those rubber gloves like you. Just like you. They want to be just like you with an oxygen filled brain. And then they even say I love you before bedtime. For their arteries of high O2 is filling their peevish little hearts and transforming them into a gu. Crushing love. However, the mother. The motherly neighbors don't bite at your Chia Pet. They know their children are beyond repair. Okay, okay. Next, maybe I'll try a little cryptocurrency of sorts. And by try it, I don't mean invest my own money. I mean create it. Gab Green is what it's called. Or more commonly known to the FBI as grab your green. My pitch goes as follows. Over Chardonnay, I will talk to my mahjong partner down the street. Susie. Susie, it's easy. All you have to do is send money into my account. Okay? It's just where I keep all of the money. But it's safe. It is an account ending in 911- dash1. But who cares who it belongs to? And in exchange, you will get a priceless coin. And it can go up by the dollar by the day. Because I'm getting so, so, so many investments. Given the state of our country today, do you really trust your money in the bank? A Gab Green is safer than a 401k. Safer than a Fidelity individual account. Why do you need all that money in there? What are you investing in the. Oh, it's not safe there. The government can take it at any second and spend it from themselves. But I. I offer insurance to accompany the Gab Green. And if you read the fine print, you will find your money is not protected at all. But your eyes don't converge after two glasses of white wine juice. And that is no fault of yours, but your retina and therefore a fault of your. Sign here on the dotted line, dear friend. Then we can get back back to our tiles. The best part is if you get more. The best part is if you get more of our Rummy Cube partners that we play on Thursday. To buy in, you will receive an extra gab Coin. Everyone takes bitcoin these days. I'll say to them, I shall give you a list. And don't be alarmed if the checkout button again reflects my checking account. But I have multiple Kroger stores signed up as well. All through my website. You can get. You can get fresh groceries, but sometimes the bananas are bruised. But I. But I. But I. But I swear they're fresh and they're good for you. The. The brown ones full of potassium right before bed, make you sleep like a baby. Here is the gab coin. This is what I can do for you. Don't you strive to be unbanked? Since bank of America is untrustworthy and doesn't even have all of your money in cash in the bank because they're loaning, loaning, Loaning to scam artists like Epstein. Do you want to support a sex trafficking pedophilia ring? I didn't think so. Invest in the gab grain. Of course not. Give me your money instead. It's innocent over here in the cul de sac. Well, no. I'm responsible and successful in a business way. By the pink Cadillac that is parked in my driveway, a number one Mary Kay seller I was in years past, successfully making skin worse and lives worser since 2012. And if the FBI catches wind, I absolutely will not take all of your money and flee to a hippie commune outside of Tacoma, Washington, a place you've never heard, but now I've introduced you, so don't come looking for me. I'll adopt a hippie life, and I'll live off the gab green scheme you so graciously trusted like an idiot. And here, the. The commune will live off the land together, drinking raw milk and unpottable water. And if you get sick, I'll give you a cocktail of oregano oil, which is different than oil of oregano, for the former is not digestible and it is toxic. But if you deserve to be here, in this commune will also flourish. Then we'll chase it with a sea moss and further wrap up with the treatment of Reiki. You will feel a better and heal. My hands say to you when they don't touch you, but just move through the air above you. But the energy. The energy is there, but only the strongest survive. And if you. If you don't, you are not arduous enough for the society of better living. As the commune leader, we will all refer to our vaginas as yonis, an appellation that should be banned from every vocabulary that exists. Yeah, I'm talking to you. If you use the word yoni, I'm on to you. But we shall steam the yoni thrice daily to induce a type of purity. And if you skip a yoni, steam you at the. You are at the risk of ostracization, for I will spread to the community that you have a dirty pussy by way of telepathy and ancient whispers. And now, speaking of ancient whispers, let me tell you a little something about a lesbian. You know you're a lesbian when. Not. Not. Not only when you appreciate the sensation of your felines, purr on your chest, and revel in the innate femininity of. In mystery of a cat. And maybe you have two or three around you. Yes, you are a lesbian. Not only when you are secluded to the couch by the fire, reading an aforementioned classic from the 19th century while ignoring text messages on your pay as you go phone for capitalism is the ultimate devil. A lesbian, a woman who only takes breaks to study astrology or maybe make a vegan meal. You know you're a lesbian when. When foreplay doesn't come in the basic coconut oil or a brain brief suffocation between the legs. No, the lesbians need more than just a head job. We long. We long for vulnerability and connection and unexpectedness between the sheets. I think our interior designer. I understand that sounds pompous, but no, I don't mean to be. We just want to decorate our bedroom because it's like kind of a weird shape and it. We want it to be comfy, cozy, so we never have to get out of bed again. Again. Because we are lesbians, just like you. And if you are a man listening to this podcast, you are also a lesbian. But I think I just heard her doors open and shut, and I don't want her to overhear me about lesbian foreplay. So let's take a sip. Opening and shutting and opening and shutting and opening and shutting. I can hear the swatches from here. I like a floral. I like a floral. I have. I have a grandma chic style. And surprisingly, so does Robbie. We like to mix. We like to mix timelines, centuries, decades, years, and all the furniture and put it together and have a home that's filled with. With love and light. Okay, I don't know who it is. Somebody just keeps banging their doors. Ah, yes. The lesbians need more than just licky licky and a ticky ticky. We long for. For vulner, for vulnerability and connection. I said an unexpectedness between those Egyptian cotton sheets that you got to spoil yourself and And. And. And live life a little more luxuriously like we deserve. We need a tease and an edge, but not too long, for we are a languid and tired breed from carrying the weight of transgressive politics on our backs. You know you're a lesbian. When foreplay comes in the form of a lengthy conversation we like to discuss in depth, breaking every idea further and further down while languid and lazy in the sheets. There's not much rolling for for a frightening bean pole is not threatening me so I don't have to roll around and roll around and try and escape in the name of fun. The erotic dirty talk of a lesbian manifests as an expansive vocabulary to make the beans swell. Great bros induces a quiver of the inner thigh. Maybe a coquettish sweet talk brings a chill up your body. Details of of who you are and and who am I with the backstory, present and future tales all discovery discussed by way of dirty talk. The openness and understanding from your lesbian partner when you don't want to be the mommy while suckling on my breast. I didn't like that. Okay, no problem. I hear you. They reply. Who do you want to be? That I shall not reveal here on this mere podcast in YouTube. I've already said too much, but mostly your little girl and at times your best friend. But. But our mothers mustn't find out or you'll be banned from walls forever. And I cannot live without you are just a couple examples of who I want to be. But afterwards, you know, we hold each other tight and debrief our former doings about what worked and what didn't because we care about each other and we want the other to remain happy and satisfied and open the idea of dialogue so they can always feel safe and know they shall come to me. C U M this post assessment says I care about you and I want to learn from you and I only want to do things that feel good to you. There's none of this narrative of do what you want to me, do what you will, do whatever you want to me and I shall roll over. No, we are team making decisions together while traversing the the egg mattress topper atop a 300 mattress and this is a sex life of a lesbian and why we need a couple new things in the bedroom. We need a new mattress but it's like with all the research it's really hard to find. Where do you even go? Where do you. You can't trust Google. You can't just Google because they're all paid off. Maybe I'll go to DuckDuckGo. Oh, who knows what's going on over there? The last safe place and uncensored. I don't know reviews of the Internet, but I forget to put in DuckDuckGo for Google is easier to press and that's about it. Okay, Foreign. Let's see. Do I have anything else to say?

Host (43:39)

This podcast is supported by FX's Love Story, John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bessette. The new limited series from executive producer Ryan Murphy. It explores the complex courtship of the iconic couple considered to be American royalty, whose love story captured the attention of the nation. Their fairy tale romance would unfold in front of the public eye, where their private love would also become a national obsession. FX's love story, John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bassette. Watch now on FX, Hulu. And Hulu on Disney plus for bundle subscribers.

Gabby (44:09)

The interior designer is here. Shh, shh, shh, shh. She cannot see me like this. At least she didn't hear of how I like to have lesbian sex. She knows what goes on in the freaky deaky bed that she's about to spruce up a little. I imagine she thinks lesbians don't have sex. You know, the straights. I'm gonna have Robbie let her up the elevator, and then I'll finish out here, and then I'll tell you a couple more things. Oh, Peekaboo. Peekaboo. Okay, I think it's been secured. Okay, I'd like to update you on my vocabulary list. I keep adding and adding, if you want to see. It goes like this because I'm reading the classics and they just know how to speak. Rabbi's like, I hope you send me that. I'm like, over my dead body. Of course, baby. Okay, okay, let's just do a couple. Doleful, expressing sorrow. Mournful. Not the dull banana previously mentioned from. Oh, there she is. I'm almost done. Okay. But I do just like Robbie to handle. You know, I'm one of those. I can just sit back and watch. Baby, you will you text her this way? But I do want to say in the fabric. So let's just go through a couple of these and I can get the out of here. Okay. Doleful, expressing sorrow. Mournful, ardent, enthusiastic or passionate. Pecant having a pleasantly sharp taste or appetizing flavor that. I mean, you know what I'm thinking about? Because I was just talking about lesbian sex. Tempest, violent windy storm. Like the one that I skydove down with my bare breast. Impetuous acting or done quickly without any care. You pretext a reason given in justification of an action that is not the real reason. Phony baloney. Aperture and opening, hole or gap. Oh, okay. Bequeath. Excuse me? Bequeath. Leave to a person or other beneficiary by will. Okay. Oh, this is a good one. Deglutition. The action of swallowing or to take in. I like anything that really means swallow. I don't know why. Let's see. Languish, lose. Lack of vitality. Grow weak and feeble. Let's see if I can. Apoplectic, Overcome with anger. Extreme. You know what I have noticed? Extremely indignant with all these vocabulary words. They're all, like, negative. There's nothing that is a positive that I'm learning in all these books. It's like the oppression these women went to that they have to think of these words as a brine, a salty water, as in a tear. Here. Importunate. Importunate. Importunate. Importantate. Persistent to the point of annoyance or protrusions. Literally. Get off my back. Oh, I like this one. Test attorney saying little reserved in speech. That. That is probably came from Jane A. She's so on my nerves. I wish she would do more. Oh, this is a good one. Ananthematized. Curse. I curse you. Or condemn. Oh, this is. This is one of my favorites. Halcyon. A period of time in the past that was idyllic or peaceful. It's the only positive word in this whole list. This. They've all been through so much that they have this one word. Halcyon, to hang on to. And sagacious. Showing keen mental discernment. Mm. That's what they said, ma'. Am. What else? Ambrosia. Food of the gods. Let's see. Ooh. Approprium. Harsh criticism. Ooh. Ooh, I. I like this one. Sallow, unhealthy. Yellow or pale brown complexion. Hello. Jaundice. Ruan. A violent. Especially one involved with the crime. That's Robbie interrupting the pod to see if I'm done. Okay, I think that's it for now. All right. You guys know when I'll see you next. Same time, same time, same place, next week. I'll miss you. Hello. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Host (49:23)

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