Role play and feminism with Sarah Schauer

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Role Play and Feminism with Sarah Schauer"

Long Winded with Gabby Windey hosted by Dear Media delves deep into pressing topics such as dating, sexuality, mental health, and pop culture. In this episode, released on February 20, 2025, Gabby Windey engages in an insightful conversation with comedian and activist Sarah Schauer. Their discussion navigates through Sarah's journey with feminism, mental health struggles, sobriety, and her perspectives on sexuality and role play.

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1. Introduction and Online Presence

Sarah Schauer begins by highlighting her ubiquitous online presence, especially in the wake of the TikTok ban. She remarks:

"I'm literally post everywhere. So it's just gonna pop up somewhere, you know?" ([00:31])

Gabby acknowledges the challenge of breaking into the saturated social media landscape, noting:

"That's what I'm trying to do, but I'm late to the game and it's hard to break in." ([00:41])

2. Shower Thoughts Podcast and Brain Dichotomy

Sarah introduces her upcoming podcast, "Shower Thoughts," aiming to bridge the gap between left-brained (logical) and right-brained (creative) individuals:

"I'm gonna fuse them and we're all gonna get on the same page." ([01:01])

She emphasizes the importance of balancing logic and emotion, stating:

"Logic is like the formula and your emotions are like the inputs and outputs. So you can't really solve an equation if you don't have..." ([01:29])

Gabby reflects on her challenges with memory and emotional connection:

"What does make me remember? And it's an emotional somehow connection or something." ([02:19])

3. Mental Health: Depression and Coping Mechanisms

The conversation shifts to mental health, where Gabby candidly discusses her struggles with depression:

"I have massive depress. Just an overall uninterest." ([02:32])

Sarah offers insights from her nursing background, explaining how shifting focus to motor activities can alleviate executive dysfunction:

"Start just putzing around, moving, arranging stuff... it makes you feel happy." ([04:11])

4. Feminism and Decentering Men

A significant portion of the discussion centers on feminism, particularly the concept of decentering men in a patriarchal society. Sarah defines decentering men as prioritizing oneself without demonizing men:

"Decentering men is like slowly undoing how you're socialized to recenter yourself." ([20:05])

She contrasts it with misandry, clarifying that decentering doesn't equate to hatred:

"You can love men and you can date men, but... they're no longer the priority." ([21:36])

Gabby shares her anger towards the patriarchy and the challenges of fostering meaningful connections:

"I can't help myself from knowing... Because then you feel connected." ([23:25])

5. Sobriety and Recovery

Sarah discusses her journey to sobriety, motivated by a desire to eliminate numbness and engage more authentically with life:

"I was just sick of it. I was like, this is not fun." ([13:09])

She shares a transformative moment of apologizing sincerely to someone she had previously ghosted:

"I got to deliver, like, a full apology... it feels so good." ([15:14])

Gabby reflects on her own need for apologies and the liberation that comes with them:

"It's so liberating. Like, I'm not an asshole." ([15:22])

6. Relationships and Sexuality

The duo delves into the complexities of lesbian relationships, societal perceptions, and personal experiences with sexuality. Sarah highlights the lack of serious coverage for lesbian relationships in media:

"Why isn't Chapel Roan getting these headlines?" ([36:36])

They explore various aspects of sexual expression, including BDSM and role play. Sarah shares humorous anecdotes about role-playing mishaps:

"We one time did, like, anal in the shower. And then I went to Party City..." ([60:25])

Gabby expresses her desire to incorporate humor and creativity into her sexual experiences:

"I want to know what that feels like... So you're getting into it, but you're getting it all out." ([65:00])

7. Creative Expression and Hobbies

Gabby and Sarah discuss their methods of creative expression. Gabby enjoys organizing, decorating, and creating Instagram content, while Sarah engages in activities like Lego building, perfume making, and taking creative classes:

"I like lighting. That is like an amazing type of expression." ([52:02])

Sarah emphasizes the importance of the creative process over the final product:

"Art is supposed to suck at first... it's all about the process." ([53:44])

8. Astrology and Personality

The conversation briefly touches on astrology, with Gabby identifying as a Capricorn and Sarah as a Libra. They discuss how their astrological signs influence their personalities and behaviors:

"Capricorns are very, like, driven." ([50:12])

9. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Gabby and Sarah share lighter moments, reinforcing their camaraderie and mutual support. They joke about hiding dirty socks and express appreciation for each other's humor and openness.

---

Notable Quotes:

• "Decentering men is like slowly undoing how you're socialized to recenter yourself." — Sarah Schauer ([20:05])
• "I have to wear a strap on, or else I'm gonna get, like, crampy." — Sarah Schauer ([60:57])
• "Art is supposed to suck at first... it's all about the process." — Sarah Schauer ([53:44])

Takeaways:

• Balancing Logic and Emotion: Effective problem-solving requires both logical reasoning and emotional input.
• Decentering vs. Misandry: Feminism involves prioritizing oneself without harboring hatred towards men.
• Recovery and Apologies: Sincere apologies can lead to personal liberation and improved relationships.
• Sexual Expression: Incorporating humor and creativity can enhance sexual experiences and intimacy.
• Creative Process: Embracing the imperfect beginnings of creative endeavors fosters growth and self-expression.

This episode offers a candid and multifaceted exploration of feminism, mental health, and sexuality, enriched by Sarah Schauer's personal anecdotes and Gabby Windey's engaging hosting style. Listeners gain valuable insights into navigating personal struggles, fostering meaningful relationships, and embracing one's identity with authenticity and humor.

Transcript

[Gabby]

The following podcast is a Dear media production. Everyone's like, you don't introduce your guests. And I'm like, sorry, but this is you, Sarah Shower. Yes. And I feel like you've been online forever.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, yeah, I'm kind of just around. I feel like with the TikTok ban, everyone was like, follow me on my other socials and I was like, the thing is, is I've just been everywhere that you'll see me at some point.

[Gabby]

Ye.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, I just follow whenever I pop up. Cause I'm literally post everywhere. So it's just gonna pop up somewhere, you know?

[Gabby]

Yes. Just like clogging the feed.

[Unknown]

Yeah, same.

[Gabby]

That's what I'm trying to do, but I'm late to the game and it's hard to break in.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

You know.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, but.

[Gabby]

And you're a comedian. Are you doing like a lot of standup?

[Sarah Shower]

Not at the moment, but I want to get back into it. I've just been like, reading and I just launched my podcast. Well, I'm about to launch it next week.

[Gabby]

Oh my God.

[Sarah Shower]

What's it called? Shower Thoughts.

[Gabby]

I love it.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, I want to. It's like how you were talking about how you enjoy how I talk. I wanted to make a podcast for people with like, who are left and right brain. So if you're more intuitive or more logical, like, I'm gonna fuse them and we're all gonna.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God.

[Sarah Shower]

Get on the same page.

[Gabby]

I didn't even know that that's what was left and right brain, but I guess.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Cause I thought like, right brain was more artistic and left brain is more like science backed. Yeah, like the left brains are out.

[Sarah Shower]

No, I mean, it's like. I guess intuition is the wrong word because intuition would be in your body, but it's. Yeah, it right and then left. It's like creative or like logical. But really you need both because a lot of people who are like, I'm more logical. Well, logic is like the formula and your emotions are like the inputs and outputs. So you can't really solve an equation if you don't have. Am I adding two? Am I adding two?

[Gabby]

Is it.

[Sarah Shower]

You know, you would just have X plus X equals something.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Nothing. If it came to me.

[Sarah Shower]

If you're like, I'm purely logical. It's like, so you're not doing anything right? You know, you're not existing or moving throughout the world. Like emotions are what moves you or compels you to do something.

[Gabby]

Yes. Yeah, because I heard you talking about how you remember things which Was really interesting in your, like, kind of. It's spatial, like, awareness. But I'm like, yes, I get that. But also I don't remember a lot and I can't.

[Sarah Shower]

But.

[Gabby]

But then I was thinking, I'm like, what does make me remember? And it's an emotional somehow connection or something, obviously, that I want to learn. Like, some things will click, but I cannot choose what.

[Unknown]

Yes. Yeah, Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

I mean, you. Do you have, like, ADHD or anything?

[Gabby]

Probably. I have massive depress. Just an overall uninterest.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, actually, so depression is like. Well, it's like sadness, you know.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

But then also, like, if you're uninterested, like, boredom is a very low level of disgust.

[Gabby]

Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

And disgust moves you away from something.

[Gabby]

That's so me. Yeah. So I'm disgusted by everything. I don't believe. I think everything's a hoax.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

So, like, if you're, like, repelled by something, then, of course you're not going to be interested. So you're going to need, like, something that offers you happiness in some way or, like, is interesting. And, like, what are you interested in?

[Gabby]

Normally I'm like. It's even hard to say. I mean, I'm interested in feminism.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

I'm a raging feminist.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

So that's what I'm into right now. And, like, I was a nurse for eight years, so I feel like I naturally, like, drawn to, like, medical things.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Which, like, some is, like, applicable only when someone's sick, but. But I still love it, you know? I'm like, if you have a question, please come to me. But that's kind of where it ends.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay. Y. Yeah. Well, what do you do for fun?

[Gabby]

I don't have a lot of fun, do I? I do like to read.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

I feel like I read, like, different things and I like to watch reality TV and I like to get high.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

And, like, putts. The happiest I am ever is when I'm high and, like, clean the house and maybe, like, rearrange, like artwork or, like, knickknacks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

No.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Okay.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah. So, I mean, that makes sense. Like, you like getting high. You like arranging stuff.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Like.

[Sarah Shower]

And you feel like you're.

[Gabby]

Do you feel, like, overwhelmed all the time?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay. So, like, you're a nurse, and the nervous system has a hierarchical order, you know? So, like, executive dysfunction is like your executive suite, like, going awry. And so beneath that is your motor cortex. And so, like, if you feel relaxed, you know, it's because you're literally going from executive to senior management. And when you're moving around, arranging everything, you're taking the pressure off of, like, your top level.

[Gabby]

Oh, interesting.

[Sarah Shower]

And now you're moving around which endorphins and dopamine and all this stuff, and it makes you feel happy.

[Gabby]

But is it the goal to get to the executive brain? Well, I mean, my missing out on enlightenment.

[Sarah Shower]

No, no, because that's just your, like. No, no, no.

[Gabby]

The.

[Sarah Shower]

I mean, everyone is. You're all parts of your nervous system at once. So, like, you'll always be in the executive suite, I guess.

[Gabby]

Okay.

[Sarah Shower]

But it's. It's a matter of, like, knowing when. If you're overwhelmed and you feel like you have executive dysfunction, there's so much going on where you physically can't, like, do anything. You need to, like, kind of go down to senior management, which is mostly your motor cortex, and start just putzing around, moving, arranging stuff. Yeah. And that way, like, you. You know, you're. Everyone in the executive suite is chilling out. And then so when you go back up, everyone's more calm, and you can finally start to address the things that you need to do.

[Gabby]

Okay, and how did you learn all of this?

[Sarah Shower]

I just love reading.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God. You have. You always loved reading.

[Sarah Shower]

No. No.

[Gabby]

Okay. Yes. Because I feel like you do have to make yourself.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Oh, you do. I am. Because when I got sober two years ago, I was like, well, if I can get sober, I can do stand up. And then so last year, I got crazy, crazy jump.

[Gabby]

Because I would need alcohol to, like, take the edge off and give me the bravery.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, I mean, I would love to do that. But the thing is, is I take Ativan before I go on and so.

[Gabby]

Out of it and alcohol don't mix. Yes. You blackout.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah. And so, like, not funny on stage. She was literally on the floor the entire.

[Gabby]

Just 10 minutes of, like, you're so funny.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, this is great. And so then when I got sober, I was like, I'll do stand up. And then last year, I did stand up, and I, you know, even went to, like, the New York Comedy Festival. And so then two years ago, and then last year, I was like, if I can do stand up and get sober, I can start reading. So I just started.

[Gabby]

Yes. X equals Y, definitely.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah. And so I, like, I just got into reading, and I started going according to heritage months. And then like.

[Gabby]

Oh, interesting.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

So right now is Black History Month. Next month is Women's History Month. And so I'm just reading According to that. And I like just is mostly nonfiction, so.

[Gabby]

Yeah, because you like to read things. I feel like that are going to teach you like a lot about the world.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, because I want to. The thing is, is like I've never felt like smart, you know, like growing up I didn't really get good grades. And then I was in a military family. Just kind of felt disconnected. Being a lesbian just felt disconnected.

[Gabby]

Oh my God, totally.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

My parents are also super Christ. So it's just like I didn't wanna do anything or learn. I just kinda wanted to survive. And then I was drinking heavily from college until like two years ago. So I was just like numb and then numb. So I was like, I don't wanna escape anymore. What have I been missing? I'd like to read about the world and know what's going on.

[Gabby]

Wow, that's so admirable.

[Sarah Shower]

Thank you.

[Gabby]

You guys. Don't get any ideas. Cause you can't do that. Not everyone can do what you're doing.

[Sarah Shower]

Read books. Y.

[Unknown]

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[Gabby]

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[Unknown]

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[Gabby]

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[Unknown]

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[Gabby]

What made you want to get sober?

[Sarah Shower]

I was just sick of it. I was like, this is not fun. You know what? Like, you start drinking and you're like, this is like, the first drink is always the funnest.

[Gabby]

And then the first buzz.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And then I would, like, have, like, a handle, like, a day.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Oh, wow.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

And you were just, like, functioning.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And then I was like, this is all just too much. And my. I was getting older, and I was like, I can't do the stuff I want to. And so I was like, just, I'm gonna try getting sober. I'm gonna do dry January. And then, you know when you start something and you're like, oh, I'm gonna just see if I can keep it going. Also, I'm scared that the bottom of my socks are dirty. And, like, the camera's just, like, zooming in on.

[Gabby]

Yes. That's all people are gonna look at. Don't look at the socks. So we welcome dirty socks here.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay, perfect. Also, I can, like, steam clean this.

[Gabby]

Chair when I send you a bill.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, but I would pay it.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God. No.

[Sarah Shower]

But yeah, so I was just like, this is not doing anything for me anymore. And so then I tried getting sober, and then it just stuck.

[Gabby]

Wow. And, like, so you did it all by yourself? Have you gone to any meetings or, like, things like that?

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, I've been to. I know it's supposed to be anonymous, but I've been to a meetings, and I have, like, all the chips whenever I talk.

[Gabby]

Congratulations. So all the 12 steps.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Wow. What was the hardest for You.

[Sarah Shower]

The writing. Apologies.

[Gabby]

I was thinking that. Yeah, I know exactly who I would apologize to.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

And it haunts me.

[Sarah Shower]

Oh, yeah.

[Unknown]

I had.

[Sarah Shower]

I actually got to apologize to someone the other day.

[Gabby]

Oh, wow. So you're still.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, because you don't see them as much. But there was this girl I had ghosted twice over, like, like, nine months apart. Like, started talking to her, and then I ghosted her to talk to someone else. And then I met her again.

[Gabby]

Criminal.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

And so then last week, I was out at a bar, like, this lesbian event, and I saw her for the first time, and she was very friendly, and I was, like, very forgiving. Yeah. And I was like, I am so sorry. And I got to deliver, like, a full apology.

[Gabby]

Wow.

[Sarah Shower]

With eye contact. And just, like, she was like, well, thank you for that. And I was. I was like, this is actually. Feels so good. Right.

[Gabby]

It's so liberating. Like, I'm not an asshole.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

I feel like we all carry around so much guilt.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But instead of apologizing, I'm just trying to abate all the guilt on my own because it really is a pointless emotion.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But I do owe someone an apology. I don't know if they know who they are.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I can't. I'm not going to say it here.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

Yeah. But maybe one day. But she. She is, like, the only one that I'm, like, I need to reach out to.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I think she does genuinely deserve apology.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, I mean, that's, like, admirable in and of itself. And it's like. It's crazy. When I was talking to her, when I saw her, I was like, oh, she's just gonna avoid me. She's not gonna look at me. And it was almost like she was relieved.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And so I didn't realize, like. And I mean, like, I have apologized to people throughout my life, but it felt nice to just, like, give someone that.

[Gabby]

Yeah. You know? Totally.

[Sarah Shower]

And they. I mean, no one has to accept your apology, but it was nice that she did.

[Gabby]

That's what I think I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that, like, either she's, like, not gonna write back or. Or be like, fudge you, bitch.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

And then try and retaliate. I don't want to remind her.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Also, I'm having a lot of struggle in this. I don't know if you guys talk about these, like, this kind of part of the apology.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

In a. But I'm sure you just have to, like, get over it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Because the thing Is. Is they don't have to accept it and they don't have to react. Well, you just need to give it, you know, Because, I mean, if you're. You're not an alcoholic, but, like, alcoholism, if you've, you know, done something or said something to someone in the past, like, they do deserve an apology and they are allowed to react however they want.

[Gabby]

Totally. They have free will.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Unfortunately, yes, that is the hardest part.

[Sarah Shower]

No, it is. But I mean, it's just. It's. I mean, it's just nice to say to. Also. Your dog is just chilling.

[Gabby]

I know. He so needs attention. He acts like he's neglected. What do you think? Since you are so smart about, like, do you feel like the A Is. Is root? Like, it's, like, rooted in Christianity or, like, Catholicism? Right.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

The thing is, is, like. I mean, there's different, like, recovery programs, and, like, you shouldn't be a figurehead for aa. Like, even now, like, I don't represent it, but I mean, like, there's, like, smart recovery and stuff like that. If you are not religiously inclined. I mean, I don't have a. I don't really believe in God.

[Gabby]

Yeah, same.

[Sarah Shower]

So, yeah. I mean, I. And so I'm just.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Like, there's different recovery programs, and I know that AA has its issues, and I'm not a representative at.

[Gabby]

You're like, just you. So you hate it.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, Yeah, I really hate it. But there's. It's just. Yeah, it's been really, really nice because, like, getting sober, it's like, kind of like coming out where, like, it can be isolating, you know, where if you were like, I used to date dudes and stuff. I don't know.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Yes.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I want to get into that.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Like, it's like you come out and you're like, oh, my friends are going to still like me. And so some of them do.

[Gabby]

But then.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah. And then you're like, oh, we have vastly different lifestyles.

[Gabby]

Total.

[Sarah Shower]

And so, like, with, like, being a lesbian and then, like, getting sober, it's just like, you. You, you know, change your lifestyle, and then now people are, like, weird. Ish about it, so you gotta find, like, new friends each time.

[Gabby]

Yeah, No, I can see that because that's how I. I don't have a huge lesbian community, which I always talk about. And I have a lot of straight friends, which I love them, but it is like. It's not even that I can explain it, but it is just a different experience in the world.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

I'm Like, I cannot tell you how men are so terrible.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

And how they're treating you. Awful.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

Because, like, you have to figure that out on your own. For some reason, you still like it.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

So all I can do is listen.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

To your STD stories. Because, like, there's no STDs in the lesbian community.

[Sarah Shower]

Absolutely none.

[Gabby]

None. And I know you are an activist, I feel, of sorts. Of free press and of yeast infections.

[Unknown]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

I. No. Yeah. It's like, I do also talk about, like, de centering men a lot.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And you can.

[Gabby]

The thing is, way to put it, I just talk about misandry.

[Unknown]

That's my favorite word.

[Sarah Shower]

The misandry and decentering always get confused.

[Gabby]

But I love de centering.

[Sarah Shower]

So, like, in America, it's an individualistic culture. You're taught to center men like, this is the patriarchy. Like, you're meant to serve them. Everything that you do is for them. You look good, you show up, you give them all your energy. You don't ask for anything in return.

[Gabby]

Yes. When this happens, I feel like, so insidious.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

Like, we just, like, appear. We're born in an infant.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Chasse out of the womb, and then all of a sudden you don't even know. But it's all about men.

[Unknown]

Yes. Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

No. And so, like, you're taught, like, so it's like, socialized. It's like a social prescription. It's like a pill that you're supposed to take every day. And so it's like, men are the best. You'll never be good enough. You gotta like all this stuff. You're fed that. And then so decentering men is like slowly undoing how you're socialized to recenter yourself, you know, like. And so the thing is, when you say decent, a lot of people think that means, like, abstaining from men.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

No, you can love men and you can date men, but, like, as long as you. When you decenter them, it's like they're no longer the priority. You don't do stuff for them. And yes, you still exist in a patriarchy because if it was that easy to escape the system, the system itself would not exist.

[Gabby]

Right.

[Sarah Shower]

So, yeah, it's like an everyday practice of just, like, making sure you choose yourself first and what you want. And, you know, it's kind of like socialization involves cultures, and cultures are like customs, attitudes, beliefs, you know, language, important texts, important figures.

[Gabby]

So a lot of, wow, that's too much.

[Sarah Shower]

I know.

[Gabby]

But it's all happening. And we don't even have a choice, like, what to consume.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah. And so, like, when you decenter men, a lot of people are like, how do I do this? Well, think about it, like, going to a different culture. What would you need to do to prepare? And so, like, you're a raging feminist, you know, at the moment.

[Gabby]

Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

And so, like, a lot of feminist texts, you know, like, a lot of just like. Like how you speak and how you present yourself, like an attitude is. In a patriarchal culture, women are supposed to compete with each other.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Right.

[Sarah Shower]

When you decenter men, you don't compete with women. You just.

[Gabby]

Now you compete with them.

[Sarah Shower]

Yes. With men, you see women for just the beauty and the expression that they bring. You know, like, you don't stand next to them and think, oh, God, like, I'm, you know, bigger than her or I'm like, less than her. You just see how she is moving and existing throughout the space and the power that she brings and enjoying that for what it is.

[Gabby]

That's beautiful.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But my thing. I have two things I have, like, right now, I do not have a lot of men in my life. I have my manager who are really close, and he just gets it. And then I have my dad. So actually, maybe I do, but I still have dreams that, like, haunt me. And they all. I have two types of dreams, but they all surround, like, the theme is isolation. I. Because I felt really lonely as a child, and I hate to be social, so I do it to myself. And I'm a lesbian.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

So all it's like. What do you call, like, the trifecta.

[Sarah Shower]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Gabby]

Of like, hating your life.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

You know.

[Sarah Shower]

Wait, do you hate your life?

[Gabby]

I don't think so.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

But a little bit. I just like. No, I don't hate my life, but sometimes I hate living and I hate other parts about it.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

Like the patriarchy.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

I'm like, if I was born in a different culture, but heaven forbid, I was born in Iran. I'm like, this can get worse. Actually, it doesn't help, you know, because also, like, we're doing all of the work the women, but actually the men do or need to do. And I do have, like, a couple people. I have some husbands.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

Who listen. And love. And love. Love, you guys. Thanks for coming back.

[Sarah Shower]

Thanks, guys.

[Gabby]

And they'll, like, comment and stuff, so I know some men get it, but a lot of them aren't doing the work and don't give a fuck.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

So it's like, the more, you know.

[Unknown]

Actually, the worse it is.

Yes.

[Gabby]

Because then you're so aware.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But I can't help myself from knowing. Because then you feel connected.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

No, yeah. It's like the curse of knowledge.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

You know, like you're almost haunted by what you know.

[Gabby]

Right.

[Sarah Shower]

But that means I was actually talking about this on my Instagram story. Because the opposite is the knowledge illusion, where you think you know more than you actually do.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And so like, with an illusion, most illusions are just physics and misdirection. So the answer to that issue is learning more. But when it comes to the curse of knowledge, a lot of very intellectual people write off emotional and in spiritual investment.

[Gabby]

Ah, interesting. Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

And so curse, you know, is kind of like, it shows like a need to invest in your emotions and intuition.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

So, yeah, it's just. And you said you were depressed.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

So it sounds like you may need some more emotional investment.

[Gabby]

Yeah, that's true. And what. Because I do feel like I'm very emotional.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

What type of emotions?

[Gabby]

Big ones. Crying. Sadness.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Is it ever anger?

[Gabby]

All the time. My therapist tells me I'm really angry.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay, well, I mean, that's a good thing.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

The thing is, is like, anger is action, you know, it like compels you to act and move and so like that. If you have a lot of anger, it means you give a shit. You know, I would actually be more concerned if, like, you received bad news or you found something out and you were indifferent.

[Gabby]

I'm like that.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, I mean, like feminism, like, you hear something bad happening in the world.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And you get mad.

[Gabby]

Right. Well, it's interesting you say that because when something really bad happens, I'm always like, maybe a little indifferent, but I'm always like, it was meant to be like that because I can't let myself, like really harp on it because I know then there's no way out. So I feel like I'm outsmarting it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But also when I get really good news, I never celebrate.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

I'm like, oh, it could be taken away. And like, whatever.

[Unknown]

This is life.

[Sarah Shower]

Uh huh. Well, I think you should celebrate it because, like, so happiness is something you have to pursue. So a lot of people are like, I would like to be happy. But the thing is, is like, that would be like saying, I'd like to be on mushrooms. So we would be like, do you have mushrooms? You know.

[Gabby]

Right.

[Sarah Shower]

Like, you have to pursue mushrooms to be on mushrooms. And happiness you have to pursue.

[Gabby]

Right.

[Sarah Shower]

To experience the same chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, Serotonin, like endorphins. And so I always say, if you'd like to be more happy, there are different levels of happiness. There's low, moderate, and high. And the lowest level of, like, you have to microdose happiness until you build a tolerance.

[Gabby]

Interesting.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But do you think some people have to work harder at it than others?

[Sarah Shower]

Yes, absolutely.

[Gabby]

Because they also have a lot of anger towards naturally happy and healthy people.

[Unknown]

Yes. Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm saying that you could. Do you feel jealous of them?

[Gabby]

Yeah, I feel like they're living a life that I'm never going to be able to live. I mean, I'm a pessimist.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yes. A nihilist. I hate it all.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay, but you said that.

[Gabby]

I feel like this is a therapy session.

[Sarah Shower]

No, but I mean, you're. The thing is, is jealousy is not bad.

[Gabby]

I agree.

[Sarah Shower]

Jealousy is anger and sadness.

[Gabby]

Okay.

[Sarah Shower]

Like, that's the emotional equation. And then envy is sadness plus anger.

[Gabby]

What's the difference? Okay, wait, say that again. Cause you just said it. Jealous is sadness.

[Sarah Shower]

Jealous is anger plus sadness.

[Gabby]

Okay.

[Sarah Shower]

And the order does matter.

[Gabby]

Okay. Oh, interesting.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Okay.

[Sarah Shower]

And then envy is sadness plus anger.

[Gabby]

Envy is sadness. I don't have envy ever.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay. Yeah, I don't really feel either of those. Are social emotions, which means they're hierarchical, so they're directed outwards towards others.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

But you do feel jealous of people who are happy. But the thing is, is you need to celebrate, like, the moments that you. You get good news, even if it feels forced, it's gonna feel forced. You have to allow, like, do something, you know, to make. To build a tolerance to happiness. If you don't engage with happiness and you, you know, don't like that when other people are happy, it's like building a tolerance to mushrooms. Like, you. If you take four grams of mushrooms, you're gonna end up weird in the woods.

[Gabby]

Whoa.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah. Yes. You're gonna be like. And you're gonna. Gonna become so happy that you freak out. So you gotta start small. Like, the small levels of happiness is content, serene, and grateful.

[Gabby]

Okay. Wow. Wait. Okay. In that order?

[Sarah Shower]

No, it's either of the three.

[Gabby]

Okay. I've never felt serene.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

And grateful.

[Unknown]

I.

[Gabby]

Because. So I started doing a gratitude journal. Like, three days.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But I did really feel like it helped.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

Because that's something that I am missing. But. I know. But I look around and I'm like, holy. From. I was a nurse living paycheck to paycheck. I never thought that this would happen. But also, I'M Whatever. Take it with a grain of salt.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, I mean, the thing is, is like if you keep doing the gratitude journal and obviously run all this by a therapist, like, but the.

[Gabby]

No, what you say is word.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

So like you start microdosing gratitude by like practicing it every day, you're going to start noticing that you are able to feel happier. You know, more than usual.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

You know, and so like you, like again, like the mushroom things, you're building a tolerance and then you're gonna hit like moderate levels of happiness.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And like those. That's gon to be like, oh, crap, like I can be happy.

[Gabby]

Right. You know, that's also something. It's like I feel guilty when I'm happy.

[Sarah Shower]

Why?

[Gabby]

I think because I know what it's like to not have it. And then all of a sudden I become very existential.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

Yeah. So I'm like, there's so many people who are unhappy. Look at what is going on in the world. I'll see someone, anyone who I think and is. And I pity them for no reason.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

Because I think I'm afraid also of like, being kind. If I'm happy about something, I feel like I'm being braggadocious. I'm like, guess what happened then? Like, if I'm talking to someone who's miserable because I also feel like everyone's miserable except for you. Yeah. Are you on any kind of meds?

[Sarah Shower]

I take. I take Vyvans for ADHD and then I do take Zoloft.

[Gabby]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. I'm on. I'm on heavy meds for depression. I had a good cocktail though, so these things are making sense and more attainable.

[Sarah Shower]

Good. Good.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Yes.

[Unknown]

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[Gabby]

Hi, I'm Lisa Rinna.

[Sarah Shower]

And I'm Harry Hamlin.

[Gabby]

You may know me from Days of Our Lives, Melrose Place, Real Housewives of.

[Sarah Shower]

Beverly Hills, and I've Been Around For a While. Clash of the Titans. Louisiana Law.

[Gabby]

That's right. But there's a lot more to us than what you've seen on screen. Let me tell you.

[Sarah Shower]

We've been together for over 30 years.

[Gabby]

We have some crazy stories to tell and on this podcast, we're going to own it, baby.

[Sarah Shower]

We'll talk about everything from Love to sex, to pop culture, to juicy behind the scenes stories we've never told before. You can listen to new episodes of our podcast. Let's not talk about the Husband every Friday.

[Gabby]

Follow the show wherever you get your podcasts so you don't miss a thing. What kind of a lesbian are you? When did it happen?

[Sarah Shower]

I am, I guess I'm more femme when I dress up, but I think when I'm not dressed up it's just.

[Gabby]

I don't know, just like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And do you identify fully with lesbian?

[Sarah Shower]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Gabby]

Okay. Totally.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But you've dabbled in the D. Yes.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Haven't we all?

[Sarah Shower]

Huh? I think. Well, I was in a. Yeah, I was.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

You know, it's a bit of slut.

[Gabby]

You know, Aren't we all? Same.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

And I thought I was doing it for myself cuz you're gaslit by this terrible society that you're breaking down for us. So I'm like, if men can do it, so can I. Yeah. But naturally I always thought it was going to lead to a relationship and more emotional connection. So it's like I was not doing it for myself.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

When I say no, no. When it happens and it's fine.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I'm like, oh, I wanted that.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

No you didn't.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But it's like hard to grow grasp that until later. Until I became a lesbian, I was like, oh, okay.

[Unknown]

What the fuck?

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, because you're like, I mean, you've heard of Comphet?

[Gabby]

Yeah, yeah. That's just recently.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

You're socialized to be this thing is, is compact sucks. Because also like hooking up with dudes, I mean, is not like, it's like everyone's like, it sucks, you know, so people who are like lesbians or like Sapphics hear that and they're like, yeah, it does suck because like straight women are saying it too. And so you're like, oh, this. It's just supposed to suck. So that's why like a lot of like lesbians come out later in life because they're like. I just was. Thought I was a part of the whole it sucks crew.

[Gabby]

Totally.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yes. I thought I just had to like, you know, turn over and like, whatever. Just count down until it's done.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Just like get it over with.

[Sarah Shower]

No, exactly. That's why. And that's, I mean, I love sociology. That's why like gay men come out a lot earlier.

[Gabby]

Oh, because they still get to fuss.

[Unknown]

Well, yes.

[Sarah Shower]

But all their sexuality is taken more seriously.

[Gabby]

Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

You Know, and they're also not taught that they sh. I mean, men are taught that you should be attracted to women, but more than anything, it's their pleasure. That is. And it's. This is not me saying like, gay dudes, you have it easy.

[Gabby]

No, they do.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

It's because they're dudes and we're women.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, Well, I mean, like, the thing.

[Gabby]

Is, is like, not easy easy in the gay community. It's relative. Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I mean, the thing thing is. Yeah, they're just socialized. We're all socialized differently and we all deal with it differently. Totally.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Because I feel like now I'm kind of like realizing. And like, people don't take like, lesbian relationships seriously. No, there would never be a headline that's like, Gabby seen at the beach with a lesbian. Or with and name them. Yeah, it's like that nobody cares. Even though it's like, why isn't Chapel Roan getting these headlines?

[Sarah Shower]

Oh, yeah, like, yeah, the Chapel Roan, specifically. Like, they talk about her like, she's the weird ally. It's like, no, she's a lesbian.

[Gabby]

Right.

[Sarah Shower]

You know, and there was like, I.

[Gabby]

Saw one headline that's like, she's dating a 50 year old woman. I'm like, why don't we know more about that? Yeah, why isn't there like Gossip Collins about that?

[Sarah Shower]

Seriously?

[Gabby]

Only about straight girls going to the beach with a football player. Yeah, I'd like to be in the mess. Yeah, I want, you know, like, I want to feel that.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, you want to be that someone talk about you speculate.

[Gabby]

Yes. Yeah, but it is. And I'm like, okay, well, if you don't take a lesbian relationship seriously, I don't take your hinge relationship seriously. Seriously. Yeah, I'm gonna one up. Yeah, but it's like, not true. Yeah, I mean, obviously they happen.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, they do. And lesbian relationships are real. But like, every time it's like, the thing is, is it, duh, it's lesbianism. And it also just goes into like, feminine sexuality in general. Like, if a woman is like, talks about what she likes or dislikes, it's like almost like it doesn't matter.

[Gabby]

Right?

[Sarah Shower]

You know? Or like. And the bisexual community deals with this a lot. Like, where if you're a bi woman, oh, you're doing it for attention. If you're a bi man, you're just gay. People cannot fathom that, like, attraction to women. Like, if it's anywhere in the mix, it's like, it's just. It's not fair.

[Gabby]

Yeah, yeah, no, I agree. It's like a plight for the bisexuals. But also, I'm like, if you were smart, you'd choose a woman.

[Unknown]

I don't.

[Sarah Shower]

I wouldn't say that. No.

[Gabby]

Okay, then that's like the pansexual. I feel I have a hard time differentiating between pot, pan and bi. I know the science behind it. It's like bi's genders and pan is personality. But don't they, like. Don't you also need to be attracted to a personality?

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, Well, I mean, the thing is, is if I were to explain this in math terms, bisexual and pansexual, like, they're both double sided equations.

[Gabby]

I don't know what that means where.

[Sarah Shower]

You have to, like factor in on both sides. But the thing is, is just because like an answer to two questions can be four, it doesn't mean that you use the same equation to find the answer for four. So the beauty of the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality lies within the actual fun itself and the individual and like, how they perceive and move throughout the world.

[Gabby]

Okay.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And so, like, it's deeply personal.

[Gabby]

Right. So which one do you think is better?

[Sarah Shower]

I don't think either is better.

[Gabby]

Tell us. No, I mean, I. I know.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yes. No, I know. I feel like the pansexual in me is like if maybe I met a man with, you know, a killer personality who treated me amazing, who understood me as an equal, then maybe. But also, I don't think they exist.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay. Yeah.

[Gabby]

It's like they're just too close to the caveman still.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, but you know, they're almost like regressing. Yeah, right.

[Gabby]

Exactly.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But I guess then you can't help being attracted to the gender.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

So I get it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But whatever.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Okay. So when did you first know you were a lesbian?

[Sarah Shower]

A couple years ago. Like 2021.

[Gabby]

Oh. So it's kind of new.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, well, I knew I was. I thought I was bi beforehand.

[Gabby]

Okay.

[Sarah Shower]

And so, like, I think I. I was. I started thinking I was BI in 2017, but I hooked up with a woman like, as early as 2012.

[Gabby]

Oh, wow.

[Sarah Shower]

But I didn't think of anything of it because I was raised super Christian. I was like, I mean, it's just like, you know, I thought that only boys could be gay.

[Gabby]

Yeah, totally.

[Sarah Shower]

So I was like, if I made out with this girl named Sam, and.

[Gabby]

I was like, ooh, shout out to Sam. Sam. Yeah, we love Sam.

[Sarah Shower]

But I was kind of like, I Don't know what that was. And then I just kept, like. Kept it moving because I. This is gonna sound so ignorant. I mean, like, it's fine now I'm gay. I was like, I don't even know how girls do it.

[Unknown]

You know?

[Gabby]

I'm still like that.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

You know, it's hard.

[Sarah Shower]

What are we doing?

[Gabby]

I'm like, we're side by side. Is this sex? Yeah, it's, like, more emotional, but I know it's like, for me, like, sex was penetration. It felt like kind of like a goal. And then when. When we came, it was accomplished. So I'm like, okay, I could check it off list.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But now I'm like, without the penetration. Is this all just foreplay?

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, I think it's just like, sex could be literally anything. I guess, however you define it. If it's like. Like in heterosexual culture, it's like when the penis goes in the vagina, but really, sex is a lot more other stuff, right?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Like what?

[Sarah Shower]

Like, I mean, head.

[Gabby]

Or like.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, fingering. Anal, you know?

[Gabby]

Okay. Yeah. Anal.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yeah. I mean, same. Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Anal.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Anal, definitely. That was my first, like, one of my first experiences being around a lot of lesbians, because I feel like they can be really kind of, like, intelligent but pretentious.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

And we were at, like, a lesbian, which, like, I'm like, you toe the line. No, I. Just kidding. No, but we were talking about it before. It's like, you're so palatable. Thank you. You know. Yes. You're not, like. I feel like bragging about it or anything like that, but we were at a dinner party, which. With, like, a bunch of lesbians. And one goes, yeah, like, virginia Woolf liked anal. And I'm like, how do you know? So you've read all Virginia Woolf, first of all. Keep that to yourself now. I have so much to catch up on, and you know so much about her that you know how she likes penetration.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

It seemed very condescending.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, it's almost. A lot of Suffolk are English majors.

[Gabby]

So, like, is that like science back?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God. That's. That's crazy. But that's what I'm saying. It's like, les. That's why I feel like you can kind of. It's like being gay, you're born like that. It's like. It could also be a choice because smart women are gay.

[Sarah Shower]

I think that gets into political lesbianism.

[Gabby]

What?

[Sarah Shower]

Political lesbianism.

[Gabby]

Okay. That's what this is.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, if you were to. It's dicey.

[Gabby]

Yes. It's it's too simple.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I understand I'm breaking it down too much. But it's been my experience.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And I mean, like, I love the very intellectual side traffics. I mean, but you also have to understand that a lot of like dumb lesbians too. Oh yeah. There's. We're everywhere, you know, and shout out we exist.

[Gabby]

Yes. And that's what we need.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Because we need to level ourselves out.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

And I. I could relate. And I am a part of, I feel like the dumb lesbian community.

[Unknown]

Oh yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

I toe the line.

[Gabby]

Yes. Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

I'm telling it. Yeah.

[Gabby]

And I'm not afraid.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

I mean, the thing is, is like lesbianism as itself is already so isolating.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And like there is a heavy element of yearning and want.

[Gabby]

Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

And so like when you feel like you're removed from a group, you will get more deep and introspective. I mean, do you feel like you get like really deep and introspective when you're alone?

[Gabby]

Yes, that's why I like to be alone.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Because I don't. Because I like don't always know what people are thinking or feeling. And I feel like I kind of always have to say like, okay, but not really get it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

You know, so that's why I just stay away from people.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Because it's like, what? You know, like I'm afraid to disagree. Like my girlfriend's always like, you're not happy unless, you know. Unless you'll feel like I'm inside your brain. I'm like, obviously. Doesn't everyone like, I want to wear your skin.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Doesn't everyone feel like that? Yeah, But I think it's just like a yearning.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

To be like, understood. And I'm always like, I'm always having an internal dialog.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, yearning is just like, talk about emotions again. Yearning is like, it's like sadness plus. No, it's happiness plus sadness.

[Gabby]

Like crazy.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And so like also, you can kind of. This is embarrassing for a lot of lesbians at the bar. But you can tell when a lesbian is yearning. Cuz happiness moves you closer to someone and sadness pushes you away. So if you ever see someone kind of rocking back and forth at the bar, who they are actually visibly yearning.

[Gabby]

Oh my God.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah. And so like I do that all the time.

[Gabby]

Look for yearning.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah. You. It's kind of. It's like a bid for connection at that point. Because the inverse of sadness is. I mean, the inverse of yearning is acceptance.

[Gabby]

Okay.

[Sarah Shower]

So like sadness plus happiness. So if you are Yearning to be accepted.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

You know, and so it's like a bid for. If you want to, like, know who to talk to at the lesbian bar. The person rocking back and forth when there's no music. Want someone to talk to right now.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God. What if you don't want to talk to him? You just let him rock.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, just let him. The music will come back on in a second.

[Gabby]

Yeah, yeah. That's for you to experience.

[Sarah Shower]

No, seriously. But, yeah, it's. The thing is. Is why I feel like a lot of Sapphics are more, you know, smarty pants, is because, like, when you are alone, a lot lesbians are removed from society. You will get more deeper intellectual and you want to connect with others.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And so, like. Yeah, they just. You're going to get a little bit more pretentious.

[Gabby]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it makes sense, but we love you guys. Yeah. Everyone here is pretentious. We're all. We're all everything. We can be both things can exist. All things.

[Sarah Shower]

No. Yeah. You can be two.

[Gabby]

Yes.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

So are Sapphics only women?

[Sarah Shower]

I mean, Sapphics can include people who are non binary.

[Gabby]

Okay. But they're not men.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, they're non men.

[Gabby]

Oh, great.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Okay. Do you have any, like, feminist books or authors that you like?

[Sarah Shower]

Ooh, yes. Okay. What type of feminist books? Okay. If we're going to get to intersectional feminism. So, like, I would say hood feminism is a really, really good book.

[Gabby]

Okay.

[Sarah Shower]

Also, it's Black History Month, and so it's a. I think it's by Mickey Kendall. Really good. Layla Lalami, Conditional Citizens.

[Gabby]

Okay.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, I mean, that's about. It's just intersectional feminism. It's more like just feminism from the point of view of someone, a person of color, a woman of color, to get their understanding and a feel of things. When it comes to, like, feminism, like.

[Gabby]

Traditional stuff, isn't it hard, kind of.

[Unknown]

No.

[Gabby]

To like. Fine. I'm having a hard time. Really. Fine. I love Sylvia Plath. Okay. More than feminism, which I go in and out of, like, how interested I am in my lesbianism.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But I feel like so many awakenings are happening at once, and right now I really identify with depression.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

So, like, that's why I fuck with Sylvia Plath.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Because she's so depressed.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

And she works in a lot of feminism, but they're like, she's a feminist icon, but I feel like she speaks about it, which we talked about it earlier, which I forget what kind of feminism is more of, like, not a Little bit about being gay, but also just, like, her experience with men and, like, you know, the one abuser in the forest.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

It's like.

[Sarah Shower]

I do want to say, though, it is ironic that you're like, some lesbians are pretentious, yet you're like, I love Sylvia Platt.

[Gabby]

I don't think. I just like the Bell Jar.

[Sarah Shower]

Oh, yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

You know, I'm not so into poetry because I can't totally understand it now.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yes, I know. And so that makes me feel really dumb, and I'm always at odds with it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But I do like her unabridged journals.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

And I, I. I actually think she's really easy to understand.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

Because she's, like, short. She's, like, succinct.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

You know, that's what I like. Like, Virginia Woolf is too wordy.

[Sarah Shower]

Yes.

[Gabby]

I'm like, just, like, break it down.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Get to, like.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, you're sad and gay.

[Gabby]

Tell me more about it.

[Sarah Shower]

Oh, no, I love that. Wait, well, so you. Okay. Yeah. You were a nurse. I was trying to think if you have, like, any. What is your creative background?

[Gabby]

I don't. I'm a dancer. I stretched for the first time the other day because I saw the substance, and Margaret Qualy was doing the splits, and I found it offensive.

[Sarah Shower]

Oh, like, she was doing it bad?

[Gabby]

No, she was doing it insanely good.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah.

[Gabby]

So I'm like, ugh. I used to be able to do that. It's not fair that she gets to do that.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yeah. So I stretched to Barbarella.

[Sarah Shower]

Nice. Yeah, nice.

[Gabby]

But that's really it. And it wasn't like. I feel like it was more of an emotional outlet because I didn't do, like, a lot of choreography.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

I feel like when. When I was young, like, I love. Well, not. I love to be told what to do. Like, if I know what you expect of me, I can deliver. But now I feel like I'm diving into my creativity.

[Sarah Shower]

Yes. Okay. Wait, your parents were the military?

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Which parent?

[Gabby]

Both at a time. But my dad was, like, when we were growing up, active duty.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

What about you?

[Sarah Shower]

Both of my parents were in the Navy, and my dad got kicked out.

[Gabby]

Oh, what do you get kicked out for?

[Sarah Shower]

He punches off.

[Gabby]

Oh, my. And his officer probably deserved it.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

He did.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

But the thing is, is. No. So my parents are, like, super militant. So like, you said you like being told what to do. Like, were your parents, like, very militant?

[Gabby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, yes, ma'am. No, ma'am. Growing up.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yeah. My dad is just like committed to the grind. He would work like 60 hour weeks even outside the military. I'm like, literally, get out of the office. There's no windows in your office. You will turn into a fucking fungus.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Like a mushroom. Don't you wanna. But it's like he's just like, cannot get away from work.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

And I feel like it's like rooted in that.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

You know?

[Sarah Shower]

Do you feel like you can't get away from work?

[Gabby]

Yes. But I also feel like it's because I'm a Capricorn. Oh, yeah. What are you?

[Sarah Shower]

I'm a Libra.

[Gabby]

That's such a good sign.

[Sarah Shower]

Thank you.

[Gabby]

Eminem was a Libra. Is he's not dead. He's not dead.

[Sarah Shower]

God. Oh, my gosh. No, Capricorns are very, like, driven. So.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

What's your big three?

[Gabby]

I'm a Capricorn. Sun rising. Aries, Leo, Moon.

[Sarah Shower]

Damn.

[Gabby]

What about you?

[Sarah Shower]

Libra, Sun. Libra, Moon. And then Gemini rising.

[Gabby]

Oh, wow. Oh, my God. So Gemini women are like geniuses.

[Sarah Shower]

Thank you.

[Gabby]

Thank you.

[Sarah Shower]

But I was gonna say you're an Earth sign. And then Aries and then Leo. So. Yeah. Damn. How do you relax?

[Gabby]

I relax. Well, I never relax my mind.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

I feel like I'm always relaxed. I try and relax my body. I try and stay far away from the gym. If I need a workout, I'll do the cold plunge.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

But when I'm at home, like, I'll smoke weed, but I'm always like, thinking because I feel like I have, especially now, so many tasks.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

[Gabby]

So I can't, I guess, when I smoke. But I'm trying to, like, get myself to, like, relax. That's interesting. I didn't know that it was like that. Yeah. Like, am I astrology?

[Sarah Shower]

Well, I mean, Capricorns are very, very hard workers, very dedicated to the grind. And Aries are very fiery. I mean, I am an air sign, so I love fire signs, but I just. You got a lot going on. So, I mean, like, how do you. So you said that you stretch, but what do you do to express yourself?

[Gabby]

I mean, every other week I come here and scream to the camera about whatever I want. That is like a good way to express my creativity. Yeah. Is that what. Yes.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And so you said that you like to, like, organize and, like, do you definitely decorate as well?

[Gabby]

Yeah, I like to.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yes. But it's like we're past, like, now we're kind of decorated.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

We, like, don't know if we're staying here, leaving. So there's boxes everywhere. We're, like, in kind of limbo.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yeah. But I don't have. I know. I'm trying. I guess I'm like, not even. It's like, who's not? Well, I have to take my own pictures for Instagram.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

You know, so. So now I like to, like, with cameras and, like, lights.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

You know, I love lighting.

[Sarah Shower]

No, yeah, that's.

[Gabby]

That is.

[Sarah Shower]

That is like an amazing type of expression. I mean, you should try to pursue some art or hobby, you know, just kind of to release some energy.

[Gabby]

Yeah. What do you do?

[Sarah Shower]

Well, I love reading. I love Legos. I'm taking classes. I signed up for this perfume making class.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

That's fun.

[Sarah Shower]

Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited. It's for the first, but I love. I took a neon bending class.

[Gabby]

What's a neon bending?

[Sarah Shower]

I made, like, a neon sign.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God. Okay. Love.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

Yeah. I love how you, like, fuel your really intellectual side with other things.

[Sarah Shower]

I try to combine fun learning. I know that sounds like such a.

[Gabby]

No.

[Sarah Shower]

The classes that you can take, like, the Museum of Neon Art in. Actually, that's around the corner.

[Gabby]

Oh, wow.

[Sarah Shower]

You could take, like, a neon bending class. And it's the fact that it has structure is great for people who are, like, more logical, but the fact that you're creating something is, like the fun part. It's where, like, left and right brain are coming together.

[Gabby]

Oh, wow.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah. So you're very much a Capricorn, which I imagine you like structure.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

So you need some structured fine.

[Gabby]

Yes.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I like to, like. I make my own structure now because I'm self employed. Do you do pottery?

[Sarah Shower]

I have done pottery.

[Gabby]

It's very lesbian of you.

[Sarah Shower]

Yes, it was. My shirt got sucked into the wheel.

[Gabby]

Oh, scary.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah. And then I, like, kind of smushed my guy down, and it was just humiliating, but it was fine.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Well, that's how I like. It's totally fine. Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Just destroyed it. Right?

[Gabby]

They're like.

[Sarah Shower]

Do you want us to fire this?

[Gabby]

No, like, definitely. I'm gonna put it on the windowsill no matter what. Yeah. But that is the thing with creativity, too, is I feel like it wouldn't be good enough art. It's like somebody would always be better than you.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, the thing is, is art is supposed to suck at first, you know? Like, it's all about the process. So, like, I mean, the thing is, is, like, no one's good at anything, like, the first time Every single class I've taken. Like, I took a wood shop class.

[Gabby]

And I mean, like, so lesbian of you.

[Sarah Shower]

It was all lesbians. If you want to find a lesbian out in the wild. I was like, you guys are all.

[Gabby]

So gay, but, like, shopping for lesbians. Go to a woodworking class.

[Sarah Shower]

I'm so serious.

[Gabby]

It's probably full of curly mullets.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And yes. Very thick glasses.

[Gabby]

Do you do your podcast yourself?

[Sarah Shower]

No, I do it at Studio71, which is. I just launched a new podcast.

[Gabby]

They have the best podcast. I feel they do.

[Sarah Shower]

I love them. I just launched another one with them called Shower Thoughts, and so that's coming out on February. February 12th.

[Gabby]

Is it, like, things that we're talking about here?

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Do you get political?

[Sarah Shower]

Yes. I love. I love talking about politics, but, like you said, in a palatable way. Yeah, yeah, I try. If I, like, get too technical, I. I love including definitions and, like, sources.

[Gabby]

Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

Because, like, a large part of my audience does have, like, autism or adhd, so you gotta really break it down. And also, I do as well. So, like, you have. Have to. We need detail, you know?

[Gabby]

Are you a fast reader?

[Sarah Shower]

It depends on what's being read. Like, if it's. I do read more technical stuff, and I do like to annotate, so it's not as fast as I'd like.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

But I do want to understand it. If it's like. If it's like, a memoir, I'd probably read it very fast.

[Gabby]

So fast.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Those are the best.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Memoirs are, like. If people. If people are trying to get into nonfiction, like, memoirs are, like, the perfect gateway because it's like, truth is stranger than fiction. So, like, it's like the. You know, it's not the craziest nonfiction, but it's, like, the most interesting.

[Gabby]

Yes. Yeah. And you, like. I like knowing it's. It's, like, real or almost real.

[Sarah Shower]

Oh, yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

What are your favorite? Because I'm like, did you read Julia Fox's. Oh, my God.

[Sarah Shower]

But I listened to Celebrity Memoir Book Club.

[Gabby]

Oh, yes.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I mean, they're really good.

[Sarah Shower]

They are. And they went over Julia Fox's book, and I really, really want to read it.

[Gabby]

You should. Or listen to it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yeah. That's what I did. Because she. She, like, whatever, narrates it.

[Unknown]

Y.

[Gabby]

It is really good. But some things, I'm like, is this all true?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

You know? Or are we embellish? I'm not calling Julia Fox the liar. I'm just wondering, because, dude, we're on camera. But it's like, it's so crazy. But also I feel like it would happen to her.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

You know?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

And that's like. I know it's hard being such an introvert and like not wanting to do anything because. Cause then I don't experience anything. So I'm waiting still for like to get a little umph. Cause I want things to talk about. But it's too late for me to piss into someone's mouth with a funnel.

[Sarah Shower]

It's never too late.

[Gabby]

It's never too late.

[Sarah Shower]

I mean, the thing is, like I said, if you start taking classes and you like to watch people, you're probably gonna find some interesting stories. Cause there are people who take a lot of classes to save their marriage.

[Unknown]

Oh.

[Sarah Shower]

And so especially if you take a couples class, you'll watch couples break down in real time.

[Gabby]

Wow. Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

So I mean, like, you could have stories. It will be his stories. Like, that would be a horrible macaron making class.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Okay.

[Sarah Shower]

But like, I mean, there's piss involved.

[Gabby]

Yeah, but that's what I want desperately.

[Sarah Shower]

I mean, you could do like a BDSM course.

[Gabby]

That's what I wanted. Like, that's what. Because it's so like, I'm not interested in bdsm. Yeah, but it's like, what is more risque.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I want the shock factor.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

Yeah, Always.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I don't know if I'm macarong class. No, it's going to give me the shock. No, it will give you a lot of color. It will. How do you get the color?

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, I mean, it's die.

[Gabby]

Okay. Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

It's not.

[Gabby]

What are you. Yeah. What are you supposed to do?

[Sarah Shower]

I know, but I mean, then yeah, I do want to take a kink class and.

[Gabby]

Oh, really?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Because they, they, they know a lot.

[Gabby]

Totally.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And they're great with boundaries too.

[Gabby]

Right? Because like, people are like, don't kink shame. And I'm like, but one time I had like, whatever. I was doing like a call in episode.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

And somebody was like, this guy I'm dating wants me to wear a diaper and I' no, because like that's pedophilia. Or am I kink shaming?

[Sarah Shower]

Well, I mean, the diaper is. What is it just like a visual thing or was it like a fill it? I don't know what type. So.

[Gabby]

Yeah, depends. Right. But literally, what if it was visual? Is that better word?

[Sarah Shower]

What's your best joke? You said depends. Sorry, sorry. Keep going.

[Gabby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Wait, what were you saying?

[Gabby]

Right? Because if she was then. It depends. I feel like it wouldn't be that bad because that's an adult diaper.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, I do have some. Well, my ex partner I used to live with got lipo because they had, like, some gender surgery, so they had to wear diapers for a bit. I didn't feel anything, actually, when they wore them.

[Gabby]

Interesting. That you'd have to wear.

[Unknown]

Oh.

[Gabby]

Cause you couldn't wear anything tight.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And also it would, like, the holes would leak.

[Gabby]

Oh, wow.

[Sarah Shower]

So it would, like, capture the fluid. But I guess.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

There is something strange. Strange about. You know what? Yeah, I guess you. Like, I'd have never. Would never.

[Gabby]

But yeah. No. Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

And like, I don't know a lot about kinks.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I'm like, maybe I'm just so severely sexually repressed.

[Sarah Shower]

Huh?

[Gabby]

Yeah. That now I'm like, I want to wear a strap on.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

And just, like, swinging around at least.

[Sarah Shower]

You're literally a lesbian. You couldn't do that.

[Gabby]

Like. No, I have a ton.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yeah. We're always shopping for strap on.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Then I mean, just wear it around the house, right?

[Gabby]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God. See? Yes. Now I'm getting excited.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, you could, like, you said you tried stretching. Like, that would be such a fun thing. Wear strap on as you're stretching.

[Gabby]

Get in the middle slits with a dick hanging out.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah. And then. So when you write your memoir, you're like, this is what I do on Saturdays, dude.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Yeah. I could make my own story. Seriously, do you wear strap on?

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah, I have to.

[Gabby]

Okay. You have to.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, it's because with my. Okay. Topping for me is very hard. I have carpal tunnel, so anatomically, it.

[Gabby]

Gets in the way.

[Sarah Shower]

I'm medically a bottom. And then also, with my last partner, they sat on my face so hard I broke my nose.

[Gabby]

Shut the fuck up.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God. See, I want that to happen. Well, then, Robbie, above all, I just want to relate.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I want to know what that feels like. But she. So she. Because people are always saying, like, put your whole weight on my face.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

So you meant it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And so that happens. And so it's a wee bit sensitive, but I mean, so I have to.

[Gabby]

Your nose looks great.

[Sarah Shower]

Thank you.

[Gabby]

By the way. Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

Contoured. But she was crunchy for a while.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Then we. Okay. I was going to say also, I. We one time did, like, anal in the shower. And then I went to Party City to get some balloons for our birthday.

[Gabby]

I, low key, love Party City. I do too.

[Sarah Shower]

And then I ended up shitting blood in Party City. And then I had to go to the urgent care, you know.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Okay.

[Sarah Shower]

Broken nose, torn butthole. But, like.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I.

[Sarah Shower]

So when I top it, I have to wear a strap on, or else I'm gonna get, like, crampy.

[Gabby]

Wait, how did she. How did the crampy hand have to.

[Sarah Shower]

Do with the top carpal tunnel.

[Gabby]

Like, because I can't, like, finger that much.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Or else my hands start to kind of claw.

[Gabby]

Oh.

[Sarah Shower]

And it gets really unappealing.

[Gabby]

Okay, I'm gonna say that then because I have carpal. Yeah. Only want to be on the bottom.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna be like, I can't. Which works for Robbie and I because, like, you know, it's like, we're pretty heteronormative.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

Yeah. But you and your previous relationships were like, switch.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

I mean, well, I just love to get involved.

[Gabby]

Right.

[Sarah Shower]

And I just. Well, I mean, you know, I always feel like I should be giving back, you know, Because I do. It does take me a while on antidote depressants. I end up feeling guilty. You know? I'm like, oh, it's been 50 minutes of you being down there.

[Gabby]

I feel like.

[Sarah Shower]

And I want to, but I also just feel like, you know.

[Gabby]

Right. It's not.

[Sarah Shower]

Am. I'm not good. But I try.

[Gabby]

Yeah. At, like, going down.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, I mean, I think I'll get, you know.

[Gabby]

Right. Yeah. A lot of communication. It is.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yes. And sometimes Robbie's always like, talk to me. I'm like, I haven't figured it out yet. Like, it's just like, I need you to kind of, like, explore, map it out, and then I can tell you.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, talk to me when.

[Gabby]

When she's going down on me.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Gabby]

She's like, tell me, tell me, tell me. I'm like, I haven't figured it out yet because I, like, like, all of it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

So it's, like, hard to just pick one.

[Sarah Shower]

Oh, no. Yeah. I'm a very literal person. I remember first time I was hooking up with a girl, she said, come for me. And I said, all right. And then I, like, a couple more minutes go by, and she's like, come for me, me. And I was like, I will. And then a couple more minutes go by, and she's like, come for me. And I literally pushed her away. And I was like, I gave you my word. I am literally trying so hard to come right now.

[Gabby]

Right. There's too much pressure.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I already promised.

[Sarah Shower]

And I didn't realize. It's just a. Oh, you're trying to talk to me.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Or she was trying to pressure you.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah. She's like, hurry up. Come on, let's go. And I was like, stop.

[Gabby]

Yeah, please.

[Sarah Shower]

No, but I. I did. But it was just like, I came for her. I did. It took me a second, but, like. Yeah, I. I'm. Whenever there's talking, I also do want to get a little bit funny.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And so, like, I feel like the other person might get out of it very quickly.

[Gabby]

Totally. That was my. I did that a lot in, like, my first relationships.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I, like, would not be serious during sex. And they'd be like, this, like, isn't working for me, but I'm like, sex is funny. Yeah. We're rolling around like. Like animals. You're so sweaty.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

There's noises.

[Sarah Shower]

Yes.

[Gabby]

Like, there's just a lot going on.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I. Yeah. I can't be funny with Robbie. Really? Yeah. But honestly, I'd like to try comedians, so.

[Unknown]

Why not?

[Gabby]

Literally. Because she's, like, so serious in bed. That's the only time she's serious. And sometimes when I'll, like, start to dirty talk.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I'll be like, you know, try and say something funny. Like, introduce it funny. Because how do you, like, start out of nowhere?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

So I'll be like, daddy. And she's like, don't. And I'm. Okay.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, in the darkness.

[Gabby]

It'S me.

[Sarah Shower]

Have you tried role play? Because that would be a fun way to get, like. I love that if you're, like, super funny in the bedroom. Because then you can get, like, kind of porny.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Yeah, I like that.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I don't know, like, how to role play. Because I feel like our dirty talk is role play. Because it's a lot of, like. Like, mommy, dad. Well, just not real mommy stuff. Daddy stuff.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

And it's like, I don't want to be caught. You know? That's my favorite.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Gabby]

Like, are they gonna catch me?

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

In the church pew.

[Sarah Shower]

Well, then, I mean, where. Like, when. Okay. I don't wanna. Do you, like, get, like, a church dress on? You know?

[Gabby]

Okay.

[Sarah Shower]

Do you have a Bible?

[Gabby]

No, but I could get one.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And then just, like, read it in the living room. And then, like, Robbie is like. And, you know, trying to distract you, and you're like, please. Like, it's Sunday.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Wow, that's so good.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And then, like, you have, like, props and. Yeah. Yes.

[Gabby]

You have a priest.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

You bring in an Al boy.

[Sarah Shower]

Father. Matthew is here.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

You guys are singing hymns. Don't look.

[Gabby]

Yes.

[Sarah Shower]

Don't look, don't look, look, don't look. But the thing is, is with that, you get to be funny and also sexy. So, like, they're getting into it, but you're getting, like, it all out, you know?

[Gabby]

Yes.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

It's a good way, I feel, like, to express yourself. And this is making me more excited to have sex. Because sometimes if it's, like, the same thing.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I'm like, you know, like, we got. I. I gotta do it.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

It's sexual frustration.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Gabby]

But if you, like, add more, then it's like, okay, we're getting multiple experiences out of one.

[Sarah Shower]

No, exactly.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And then you guys can get, like, improv and weird with it, you know?

[Gabby]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

I'm trying to think of. Well, actually, I don't. I'm trying to think of my favorite role play, but I don't have at the moment.

[Gabby]

You don't? What kind of role play have you done?

[Sarah Shower]

Oh, crap. Well, the thing is, I have so many costumes because I also do sketches.

[Gabby]

Oh, my. Yeah. Your sketches are so good.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

I love your Lego sketches.

[Sarah Shower]

Thank you. I think my favorite one is I have a headset, and I'm like, call center.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

And, like, no one's available to come help, so I'm like. I guess I took the call. Try to give head with a headset on.

[Gabby]

Sorry, like, one second. The speaker's on.

[Sarah Shower]

Yes. What's that wet sound on the line? Yes.

[Gabby]

You're supposed to be on hold.

[Sarah Shower]

Oh, my gosh. The. Just chewing on the. What is that his teddy.

[Gabby]

Teddy bear.

[Sarah Shower]

Oh. I was like, God.

[Gabby]

I know.

[Unknown]

But, yeah.

[Gabby]

Well, I think we're probably good.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay. Good.

[Gabby]

I know. I think it's a good note to end on.

[Sarah Shower]

I love it if you're just like. All right, let's stop talking. We're done.

[Gabby]

That's it.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Leave. Yeah. There's the door. Thank you so much. This was so fun.

[Sarah Shower]

Thank you for having me on.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Hide your dirty socks.

[Sarah Shower]

They're actually really dirty, so. I'm so sorry. It's like, I walked here from Beverly Hills. Seriously, in. I'm so sorry. No.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God. We love it. I wish they were dirtier.

[Sarah Shower]

Okay.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

The tops were dirty, too. Yeah.

[Gabby]

So you flip them. You walk on the top of your feet.

[Sarah Shower]

Yes. And then I have to hump on my ankle.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

She's an idiot. She's dumb as shit.

[Gabby]

That's what we like here.

[Sarah Shower]

Exactly.

[Gabby]

Oh, my God. You are amazing.

[Unknown]

Thank you.

[Gabby]

A literal icon. Where can we find you?

[Sarah Shower]

You can find me on TikTok or Instagram or YouTube. Sarah shower. H A U E R. I know.

[Gabby]

I love the pronunciation.

[Sarah Shower]

Thank you.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Is it real?

[Sarah Shower]

Yes, it's my father's. He gave it to me.

[Gabby]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

But everyone's like, when I was blonde, they were like, golden shower. And I was like, you're so funny, Peony. Yeah, I wish that was me right now.

[Gabby]

Literally.

[Sarah Shower]

Seriously, where's that funnel?

[Gabby]

I know. I need the next time you come. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna.

[Sarah Shower]

The next time I come. Sorry, guys. I know. Oh, God. But, yeah, a shower.

[Gabby]

Okay, great. I want to start putting, like, links in the description.

[Sarah Shower]

That's helpful.

[Gabby]

Okay.

[Sarah Shower]

You're likely to.

[Gabby]

I'm like, I might not start with you. No, but I'm going to.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah.

[Gabby]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

That's great. Yeah. Thank you for that.

[Gabby]

Yeah. You're welcome.

[Sarah Shower]

Thanks.

[Gabby]

Okay, well, until next time.

[Sarah Shower]

All right. I love how I. I love how. I didn't even know the podcast started. When you first started talking, you were doing a audio check, and I was like, okay, well, yeah, I'm Sarah. I'm excited to be here. And that's actually the beginning of the. Well, thank you for having me.

[Gabby]

No, I love it. I know I put the sneak on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And no one knows when we start.

[Sarah Shower]

No one does.

[Gabby]

It's the best.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it is.

[Gabby]

Yeah. Literally. Surprised I try and catch you.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sarah Shower]

Yeah. But thank you, guys. Well, thank you, guys. Thank you so much for having me.

[Gabby]

Thank you.

[Sarah Shower]

Please note that this episode may contain.

[Gabby]

Paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.