← Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Summerhouse scandal and “Jason Jackson”
00:47:19
This week we’re discussing the criminality of breaking girl code as exemplified by Summerhouse starz Amanda (perp) and Ciara (victim).
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This April. Get your rom com on with youh Me and Tuscany. Only in theaters April 10th. From Will Packer, producer of Girls Trip, you, Me and Tuscany has all the ingredients of your favorite rom coms heart, huge laughs and sizzling chemistry. Starring Halle Bailey and Reggae Jean Page, and set in the enchanting vineyards of Tuscany, this film is a movie escape that's perfect for date night or girls night. Don't miss you, me and Tuscany. Directed by Cat Coiro. Only in theaters April 10th. If you thought HBO's Euphoria was intense in high school, saddle up. Starring Zendaya Sydney Sweeney and Jacob Elordi. Season three of Euphoria picks up five years later, and life looks very different.
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Now.
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These characters are on their own with the freedom to make choices that can build them or break them. No matter what they're chasing money, fame, power, love or redemption, no one can escape their fate. Don't miss the third season of Euphoria, premiering April 12th on HBO and HBO. Max,
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Welcome back. Welcome back. I said happy to have you here. Welcome back to me. I just got back home last night. It feels so good. It feels so good to be back with my Robby baby. You know, it's just like. There's nothing like it. She had the whole house constructionized, basically. Our front patio went through a full demo. We needed a new wine rack and a trash compactor, because we had a trash compactor, which is. Which is really the best amenity in the house. So we fought for another one after our other one broke. But where do you find a trash compactor? It's really, really hard to find these days. So we found one, but it's too big. But now it fits perfectly, and she was there for it. And we got a new bed. We got a new king bed. It's a dream. Robbie still crawls her way all the way over to me in the middle of the night. She likes to be in my space. And honestly, I don't mind. But you know what? It's good to be home. It is good to be home. And I think about her and I talk about her all the time when I'm away, probably to the point of being annoying, but I don't care. I don't care, because she's my loved one. She's the only one. Being around so many people, you may think, oh, there's. There's so many people in the world. What am I doing? But I, on the contrary, think, oh, there's so many people in the world, and I hate them. The one that I love is back at home. So here we are. I was in New York and New Jersey. Filming peaked. I'll let you know what I think about New Jersey at some point, but it's just. It's not very good. I don't want to say too much about it, okay, Because I. Because. Because one, I'm probably not allowed to. And two, I want to save it. I want to save it. But you guys, just you wait. Just you wait with bated breath. How long can I hold it for, you may ask? I don't know. I don't want to turn blur on you. I don't want to have too much fun on you. Okay, well, I don't have anything to crack, but look at this cute glass. My good friend Liz got them for us from Mexico City. They have a story. That's why I like all my things. I want them to have a story. But not everything has to have a story. You know what I mean? Sometimes it's okay to just, like, get something because you like it. I'm talking to Robbie. Okay. Okay. I think that's it. I'm just kidding. You're going on vacation. You're going to Cabo to meet your significant other's family for the first time. And you'll be spending seven days together. But you only have body cons and a thong bikini. Well, you could buy a whole new wardrobe, but who has money for that? Or you could rent stuff from Nuuly and just send it back when you're done. Nuuly is a subscription clothing rental service that lets you pick six styles every month. And you know they have some things that are parental appropriate, unlike your closet. But for just $98 a month, you can rent for whatever you have going on. Dresses and fancy stuff or just everyday pieces. Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any six styles. But right now you can get $28 off your first month. When you sign up with the Gabby, just go to n U-U-L-Y.com and enter the code GABBY at signup to get 28 off your first month. That's a lot. That's n U-U-L-Y.com code GABBY for $28 off your first month. Newly subscription clothing rental. Change your clothes this April.
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Get your rom com on with you, me and Tuscany. Only in theaters April 10th. From Will Packer, producer of Girls Trip. You, Me and Tuscany has all the ingredients of your favorite rom coms. Heart, huge laughs and sizzling chemistry. Starring Halle Bailey and Reggae Jean Page. And set in the enchanting vineyards of Tuscany, this film is a movie escape that's perfect for date night or girls night. Don't miss you me and Tuscany. Directed by Cat Coiro. Only in theaters April 10th.
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So to begin the scripture for today, I must check in. You know, on Ethel Kane's Instagram post, I love seeing the human body in all its natural forms. I do. You could call me Prurience, if you may. And that means having her encouraging on excessive interest in sexual matters. Definitely. Perhaps in genitalia. Absolutely. I thought it brave. I thought it profound, that little square. The message that she is sending is brave and irreverent in a way that's just like, here I am, here I am, legs spread, this is me. We can all be proud of that. If you have not seen the Instagram photo, I want you to pause this right now and go lay your delicate eyes on the first square on Ethel Cain's Instagram post. It's like it's an editorial gorgeous photo of Ethel Cain. Light and like a chic grandma comforter bed. And she has an amazing corset. It's white and fits just right. And right under her well fitting corset are her little willow beads out and about for all to see. And she has great boobs. And there's something freeing in the poly droginous, I might say, like the opposite of androgynous. You know, androgynous means no gender. The A means no hello. And Polly means multiple. And I feel like she's not a but. Polly, you see what I'm doing? You see what I'm doing here? Please catch up. I know it's early, but. And, but that's about it. I thought it was beautiful. It's something I can stand behind. Of course it inspired controversy of conversation. And that's also what we live for. We want to see the positives and who has a negative and where they're coming from. And no, we don't. Not if they're negative. Actually, we do not care about them. But you know what I did, I liked it. And dare I say, I might be next. So don't avert your eyes when you see all of my proclivities, all of my under things uncensored on Instagram. Except I wish I would just get an nsfw, whatever it is, blur on my Instagram squares instead of being outright shadow banned every single time. Let them choose if they want to see with a click. Don't take me down for I am no threat. But Meta is just jealous. I've been saying this and honestly, we have been so blessed recently. We have been so blessed. We didn't ask for this many scandals in the dreary springtime. God just gave them to us freely. And I am not celebrating anyone's pain. But the topic of conversation does bring people together. Something to, I wouldn't even say gossip about, because the information is right in our face. We're discussing, we're analyzing the facts and the data we have in front of us. It brings people together. Strangers, acquaintances, enemies alike. For a common enemy brings you together. That's my favorite one. Most of us can agree we have one of those right now, one of those scandals, one of those topics of conversation that it's bringing us, it's uniting us. It's the national anthem that sings, a song that unites the masses no matter where your loyalties lie. A song we all know, a song we can all discuss. I've never discussed it and I never want to. But you get it. You get it. It's a metaphor, it's a euphemism. It's a figure of speech. In this national anthem, everybody stands and sings for two and a half minutes and maybe doesn't think about the politics of the left or the right or the north of the south, just taking in the American sounds of a local singer who can hit the A minor and God bless America. I have no idea what an A minor is, but I assume it's in the classic of a song, for it is the only note I'll ever know. I'm talking about the Summer House scandal, obviously. Amanda and West v. Sierra. Now I don't watch Summer House, but I will be watching the reunion, which Amanda is confirmed to be attending, so you bet your ass. This is why reality TV is so important to our culture today. It brings people together, a common interest that gives you an insight to others inner beings and workings. It's a psychological test. It's a psyop. Yes, of course I just learned that word, so I will use it as much as I can because that's how it sticks. What is your favorite franchise? We ask to one another. Old Rahoney. Correct. With the rewatch every year around Christmas time. Correct. There's Zarin's Fabrics, I say aloud on the shuttle bus back from the odd place of New Jersey into the great city of New York. However, silence was filled within the shuttle, for there are uncultured swines taking up the seat. This is our culture, our country's culture. Now with this gift, I talk endlessly to hair and makeup about what they've heard, most recently about the scandal. We wouldn't have spoken otherwise. That's not true. We were also exchanging disgusting sex stories. I was a mere listener, not a participant. I've heard they've broken up, one says with blue eyeshadow or maybe purple. I believe her sources misled her. I have no idea if they're broken up or not. My blowy stylist was on the phone with her sister being explained about the tragedy, for she has only watched the seasons of Hannah. Burner and Paige still say I concur, but I am familiar with this alternate reality of the Bravo verse and will do my research to discuss in detail because this is what I like to do. This is what brings me joy. This is what pks my interest. Women alike on the cast discuss it at length. I just don't understand why she isn't a girl's girl. We say and scream to each other. I could never it's not as bad as Scandal, one says, but it is treated as such. And to preface, I have no clue what I'm talking about and do not watch the show. So please, this is maybe an uninformed opinion, but I don't think it takes that much information to form an opinion on this very matter. But I I have ears and eyes and have been reading slash listening to experts in the field, AKA hair and makeup on set and it is up to me to sift through this information and form an opinion myself for you to hear. For it is my job and I need something to talk about for at least 45 minutes. I have heard from the one makeup artist that Amanda and West have since broken up after posting their incredibly bizarre, poorly timed statement and who puts out a joint statement on Instagram to say you've betrayed your friends and are now dating each other. What are we doing with the state? But the statement didn't say that at all. It circum. It circumlocated. It failed to ever get to a point. It word saladed it Jordan Peterson it evaded and three days later now it's gone. Leave it up for all to see. Why'd you take it down? You were so proud of it at one point. It got on all the Reddit, it got on all the Twitters, it got on all the TMZs. So I can't even look it up on your Insta. I have to Google whatever. It's easy to find that information. Still, obviously you shouldn't have ever done it in the first place. Who gave you that terrible advice? Someone who wanted you to fail. This is the Instagram post I am talking about. They are not your friends. Your pr. First of all, a joint statement is social suicide. Especially with a boy. Disgusting. Why are we aligning ourselves with them? I would sooner put spinach in my own teeth and walk around smiling. Cheese. I would sooner have let a booger hang far out of my nose, post a neti pot achoo and not wipe my nose. I would sooner put a whole roll of toilet paper in my pants and create a trail from my thong to the floor. Excuse me. Not like you needed to guess, but I just wiped my ass with this and now it's hanging to where you walk. They bring you down. These men who are the ones suffering, the women and the men get to continue to cosplay as Mrs. Doubtfire and do the Dougie as a white boy at a wedding and somehow clip it and put it on Instagram. I'm sick. I'm nauseous. I need a zofran and a gas ax. It's making my stomach bubble. Imagine the syllabus it would take to complete the aforementioned thing of creating a video as a man at a wedding. This is what's going on. Let me tell you. Step one. Get invited to the wedding. Already hard to overcome as a man who wants to be invited? Who would want to invite them anywhere? Yeah, they're begging to be invited, but I don't want them there. I'm hard to get. Assume he is a plus one then. And hope to God he doesn't have 14 beers during the cocktail hour when he starts crushing them on his head and untying his tide, doom shall set in. The dancing begins. Then he is sure to set up a DIY tripod in public. Mind you, this is all happening in front of the other's visions and two eyes. He rearranges the dinner settings and moves the table closer to him to get in view. He finds something scattered on the table heavy enough to hold his phone, most likely the flower settings. Then he looks at the frame to make sure it is capturing his embarrassing dance. He frames himself up. There's a little bile in my mouth. Next he presses record and asks all of his friends, all of his other wormy friends, mind you, to do their best dance moves across the floor, across the frame. It's gonna look good. This is cinematography. That's not it. It's not over. You want it to end, but it's not ever going to finish. The next Day he will have to edit his video in Cap cut. Yes, he downloaded Cap cut and pays for the premium. He changes the pace. Edit, deletes, Uncrop, Deletes, Edit, deletes, Uncrops, deletes. No, I want the booty shake. This shall take at least eight hours. And then. And then when he is happy with his low art mixed with no high art, he will take it to Instagram and post it for all to see. He is proud of himself. This is the man in question. West Also, just why put out a statement to admit your wrongs? Just keep living your life in public and don't try and hide it. That was the problem is you were doing it in secret. But there's nothing secret around here. We don't live private lives anymore. Especially not come. Not when it comes to a questionable affair in which your best friend is involved. Was this statement the first time Sierra was finding out? Or did you have the gumption to sit her down and talk to her like a real friend? This wouldn't be a problem if you could just communicate you just like why it feels like you're putting this on Instagram to gain further attention. Maybe find a different way to release to the public your betrayal and terrible choice of a new boyfriend that is sure to blow up your life. We're talking Hiroshima, Nagasaki, tnt. Dan. Oh my. For not even a man. For a boy. For Mrs. Doubtfire. I would. For Mrs. Doubtfire, but he. He's the Kroger. Mrs. Doubtfire, you're risking your reputation, your savings for retirement and your best friendship on a cardinal direction with no facial hair because he cannot grow it. West with a hard T. But it seems as if he couldn't find north of a compass was duct taped to his forehead. And of course you can't see your forehead. But he wouldn't even know how to unduct. Tape it and look at it. If it was a speaking compass that pointed this way, he would still ignore. For his auditories are blocked up by his bad decisions. He will inevitably go the other way. South into hell. They were in the closet shorter than I was in the closet as a lesbian. They took no time to hide. And if you have nothing to hide, why hide it? That's what they were saying. I believe. We're not hiding anything. Everything's fine. We've been friends for a long time. You don't know the story. Then why are you trying so hard to hide? It's admitting guilt. Live it in the public and let the people see. Skip the public statement. And on with our lives. And just when Amanda was on the rise, a victim to the public with great style and a pretty face and proclivities to marijuana, which is a woman after thine own heart. Usually the irony of a pinned Marie Claire featured title that goes something like A Girl who is going to be okay. Post divorce summer house star Amanda battles her separation from Kyle and what she might be looking for in her next relationship. And no, she shall never be ashamed of smoking weed. You go, girl. Me neither. Except the audacity to speak on a next relationship like she wasn't already in one. The audacity to lie to the press. Just avoid the question. Avoid, avoid, avoid. I would be so afraid to lie so publicly when there was already speculation. Stay away. Just ignore the topic. Drop the man and save your career. Save yourself. He isn't worth it. No man is ever, ever worth it. I'm telling you. And then a couple squares after the Marie Claire later, a joint statement of the criminality of breaking girl COD as told through a black square with text. You can't make this stuff up. And the thing I think that separates it from Scandival is that we did like Amanda. We rooted for her. She was always too good for Kyle. He is a man child with a drinking problem in his 40s. Ick. And she's effortlessly stylish and seems so sweet. Amanda, get it together, please, I beg of you. We were rooting for you. Stay away. No man is worth Rihanna unfollowing you on Instagram. The pit in my stomach falls into my butt for her. The queen has spoken and you have now officially fallen from grace. The hurt, the torture. She believed in you, like many of us. But poor Sierra. This is who really suffers. Obviously gorgeous, beautiful Sierra with the kind heart and soul who is still a nurse. As far as I knew, when we were on Traders together, which things could have definitely changed. But this is just the information I gathered from way back in Scotland. She told me she was a nurse. I said, sierra, get out. This is your chance. This is your escape. Leave the bedside. But too pure is her heart and skills. I don't know if this is still true, like I said, but you know, it could be. And that's how big her heart is. And then her best friend betrays you. Her yowch. Stab me in the front. Why don't you take that knife from my back and just put it in my front? It's the worst feeling in the world, I imagine. Someone I'm sure you would never expect your best friend Taking your man's that pit in my stomach, it grows and grows and you want to throw up and it comes out covered in the fur of deception and disloyalty. I need a Pepsid. I don't wish this on anyone, honestly, but apparently Rihanna said she was going to set her up with an Oscar winner AKA Michael B. Jordan. So there's that. Who is the real winner here? We have got our girl and I don't know, maybe I'm different, maybe I'm better than everybody, but to me it's so easy not to break girl code. To me, when I look at a best friend's boyfriend, there's only a couple thoughts that cross my mind. I only have a couple thoughts ever. One the most common, the most common thought they're a deadbeat and not good enough for you my friend. But would any man be good enough for them? Is unclear now. Not only because I'm a lesbian, but who knows? It's just a robin thick blur line. Apologies for bringing him up. I don't know if he's canceled so forget what I said. But number two, the second thought this boyfriend of a friend, they're like a brother and it would be like incest. I wouldn't come near in a sexual way because it would feel wrong and disgusting and like I'm having sex with a very very very close cousin and my kids are gonn blue for their veins are misaligned. The oxygen can't get to their skin because it's incest. It's disgusting and it's illegal. 3 One more thought. The man is gay. They're all gay. Look at his instagram, he's gay. And why do you want someone's sloppy seconds? First of all, if you like my friend first then why would I don't want to be anyone's second. Stick to her. Second of all, there are so many dumb, ugly self aware men, influencers of proteins that you can date. If you want an influencer, there's a plethora and they're all the same. You don't just have to stick to the realm of the reality TV show that you're on. Branch out, set yourself up for success. How about you don't date an influencer who's selling God knows what apple beads? Just get out, get out, branch out. Elevate yourself. This man is bringing you down, down, down to the ground and there's no way of getting out. Maybe the reunion will save her and I'm glad she's facing it head on, but I feel like there is no hope. There's no hope. Into Sierra we send all of our good wishes. Yeah, poor girl. But she will not be a victim for long, I tell you. Not with Michael B. Jordan on her arm should he ever be so lucky. And now a word from our sponsors. This is the time. The time when kids benefit from reviewing key concepts and strengthening skills before assessments and IXL helps reinforce what they're learning right now so they feel ready and capable. It's proven in all 50 states to improve grades. Students who use IXL score higher on tests. That sounds nice, doesn't it? It's trusted nationwide. One in four students in the US are learning with IXL and IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the US. It's an award winning online learning platform for Pre K through 12th grade with personalized interactive lessons in math, reading, Ryan and science that adapt to each child's level and pace. So make an impact on your child's learning and get IXL now and long winded with Gabby Wendy Listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com Gabby visit ixl.com Gabby to get the most effective learning program out there at the
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Onto another great topic of discussion. We are spoiled Jason Jackson who thy Jason Jackson one who pouts his lips for photos with a full gray beard and gray hair and man eyes full of soullessness and blackness and a little tiny red as you continue scanning Jason from top to bottom with your eyes for he is intriguing and alluring in some ways this Jason Jackson accent shortly after the neckline are huge fake tits not falling sitting perkly straight up like a size triple z. The biggest ones you've ever seen for they are a chest plate so the rest of the plate can support the sheer size of these jugs. These are jugs over a size triple D. You have a set of jugs for I wish but the triple Z's are a little too much. Jason to give you a visual While you are driving to work or on the train or watching like you're supposed to and I beg of you. The breasts stick out about 6 inches horizontally bilaterally on each side. Let's continue to scan for. We're not done yet. We've seen the breasts now. On top of the present of the present knockers is a solid color and a solid color very white shirt. There's not much personality in the shirt. It's a. Maybe a pastel like a pink or a green or a tan. Which does not complement Jason's skin tone at all though. This tight spandex like shirt pops out the nipple atop an areola. Boing. The headlights are on. However, they are somewhat googly eyes and in a different position in each picture. Sometimes they're cross eyed, sometimes they're disconjugate, sometimes they're up and down for they move around at their pleasure. It is safe to say Jason is very lazy about applying these nipples on top of the aforementioned knockers. Could be like a game to him. Find the nipple. Where's Waldo? This disconjugate nipples are also pierced. Who's to judge? I've had a pierced nipple once and thank God Robbie ripped it out. Apparently it's smelled like the belly button of a ring hole. A muted kind of rancid. I'm ashamed of myself. And under Jason's rancid nipple ring lies his hairy navel exposed about one inch. Just enough, just enough to see his minor pot belly filled with gray fur to match his hair atop his head. And in his preferred angle of the upturned selfie you can see that fat come out. Just show. Moving on now. We're still scanning. Moving on. He wears down to the pelvis. Moving on. He wears very tight yeast infection inducing camel toe exposing. And Jason, these are exposing his moose knuckles of sorts. Or he wishes for he doesn't have simply a camel women's athletic shorts like the lululemon of a kind. Tight, tight, tight athletic shorts. Everything is so tight. And this is the husband, the former United States Secretary, Secretary of Homeland Security Kristen Noem. Jason Jackson. His birth given name is Brian Gnome, but he goes by JJ for some odd reason. Especially since it seems like he is wanting to be more of a Jessica or Janet or maybe a Julienne Julianne. Something a little more feminine to match his extremely large nipples for. I can relate though. It looks like I've breastfed five to six children and they are stuck erect. A blessing for I haven't had to breastfeed one, but I am in A great position to be a wet nurse. Permission to kink shame. I say vehemently. I'm sorry it's not kink shaming when they're Republican. But that's just the data. I say Brian dresses up like Jason and then pays online models to talk to him or whatever the fuck he's doing. He calls it bimbofication. A new name we've never heard of. Okay, fine. An inventor of another form of a kink fetish or a cosplay shirt, whatever, it's made up. But please put name to whatever freaky deaky you are. I'm not judging. He's just a hypocrite. Our girl Jason's wife isn't clean either. Surprise, surprise. It takes a freak to know a freak first. She is an incredible Republican. Trying to ban drag queens. Huh? Your husband is. Is literally a beginner drag queen. He's practicing. He's in training to be a drag queen. So ban him. She supports abortion. Shock. She praised the death of the ice murders without investigation. And surprisingly, other governmental people were really looking at her sideways. And thank God. And lo and behold, she is having an affair with the subordinate. With the subordinate. A woman of power preying on the lesser. That's what I'm talking about. Okay, baby girl. You let it rock and ride. I guess we shall say. I guess we shall say the colloquially. Women in male dominated fields. And this led to her impeachment. Ah, justice is served. Would never on our real president. But sure, impeach the girl who nobody cares about and nobody listens to anyway. But who leaked these photos and Jason text messages to the press? Was it her? Was it him? Was it his online lover? Was it me? Am I him? Am I her? Am I his online lover? No. But dare I say, her affair came out and she wanted a distraction. So she leaked the triple Z titties with the confused nipple to Areola. Doesn't take a genius. We've seen it before and we'll see it time and time again. These are the people we're dealing with. She killed her dog. I don't know if that's true. I didn't have time to look it up. She had an affair. She told everyone in the White House that her husband dresses up like a lazy drag queen. She was the one who started the rumor. She was the one who was running her mouth. My husband. Husband is so embarrassing. We'll get rid of them. It was only a matter of time. One said on Twitter. Twitter is really coming back these days. Honestly, people are really using it, but it's not for me, for I don't have an algo, so how do I even search for things? It's taken me years to develop my algo on other social media apps. But I shall learn to use because I shall be in the know and I shall learn to use a Rubik's Cube. I'm serious. It's all so very clear. Our politicians all have an interesting sex practice, don't they? Such as these fetishes, sex trafficking, etc. Which comes first, the fetish or the power? The power and the money. Because I think they get bored with their lives and need to do something extreme to make them feel the dopamine again. They're missing the receptors. The dopamines are resistant to a new Chanel bag. Me never. The perfect vintage shoes for a great price mean never. It hits me. It hits me like something that would raise your dopamine would. The dopamines are resistant to a nice long puff of a THC in a CBD world into one. Oof. My favorite. The dopamines are probably resistant to every stimulating drug you could ever get your hands on. So the dopamines need more. Jason Jackson says to himself they're craving, they're salivating for the fried chicken. They need to dress up like a huge tittied woman to get their dopamines up. And this is what we're dealing with. This is who's running our country. Tell us something we don't know. Now if Jason Jackson could, maybe he could release a statement on his Instagram saying I am incredibly apologetic for being a hypocrite for these fetishes. Need compassion and I am a mere person. If every governmental employee, every politician put balloons in their tits and acted like they had a huge wreck, maybe it could cure our world. Maybe we wouldn't have to deal with fascism. Maybe inflation would go down. Maybe we would get our democracy back. Because we know they're all playing with balloons in secret of one sort or another.
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Okay, I have Some time. So I'm gonna go through my notes and explain to you what goes on in this pea brain. Let's see, deals to be paid. You know, I'm keeping track. Unfortunately, I have no incoming. I have. If AI were for the girls, then we'd be down. But it's, it seems to be for the boys in some way, doesn't it? Doesn't it seem like. Well, we know AI invent was invented for, from a man because they want to destroy the earth and they want to be the most powerful ones because they're so insecure and they're jealous of women that they have to overcome it in some way. So they're like, ah, I hate women. Let's create robots to ruin everyone's life. Because I hate myself so much because I wasn't born with mammary glands. This is, this is a thought process for creating AI and they're using it specifically to take down women. What if we used AI for the good? What if we used it to uplift women? What if every time we ask chat GPT what's going on? He says, nothing, baby, you are perfect and everyone is jealous. But somehow it seems like it's the opposite. Like a planner wart. Some things just stick around. Like a planner wart, some things maybe like a person. Maybe like a person you can't get rid of. They're implanted in the bottom of your foot and you can't just cut off communication. You have to dig them out in the doctor's office one by one by one. And even that's not enough because there's seeds left. There's seeds left of this embedded in your foot. So now you just have to chop half your foot off in order to get rid of them. And then you become an amputee because you want to live life freely. What's it like getting ready as a girl? Terrible. Terrible. What did I think was misogyny just today going, go. Getting on the airplane. Getting on the airplane. This is misogyny. One carry on and one personal item. Sure, that's easy for a man who doesn't have to pack his hair stuff his skin care that you've been using. You've been trying for years to figure out which products are good for your skin to make you look like a 19 year old. So you have to use them every day. And so what? I did a little shopping. So I have to fit so much into my real carry on, but my purse has to fit into my carry on. Men don't have to carry purses no, they have tiny little wallets. But I have. My purse is built from an emergency. I have my meds. I have my lip liner. I don't know who I'm gonna run into. I have an iPad because it won't fit in my carry on. Because as a woman, society has told me to. To acquire things. So I have a lot of things. And now I'm punished for it. No, my purse doesn't count as a personal belonging. It. It counts as nothing. It counts as a service dog. It counts as an emotional support bag. Because we need. We put a lot of things in there that you don't want to know about that we need. So please let us live in peace. Women have been carrying purses since the beginning of time. And guess what? Guess what? I bet it was a man's idea so she looks more dainty. But then the airline to punish us. So there's that. What else do I have? Music is different in the car. Yeah, I'd say so. I think that's pretty, right? Oh, Robbie. Gifts. Let's see. I'll only tell you the things. Turns out I haven't gotten her anything. Turns out I haven't gotten her anything on this list. Maybe I deleted it. But I can't tell you because. Because one of you will spoil it. Meaningful dates. Well, I should probably add to this one. 11. Vegas wedding 4. I said 3 11, but it's actually 4 11. Courthouse wedding 10 24. Shooting star 11 18. I got my first movie. These are the words that I wanted to use on Love overboard. Sick freaks. G spot. Dental dams. That's one of my favorites. Motion in the ocean, Toss of the salad. Desperate D squad. Don't we know I'm captain Creepy Clingy clams. Bottom feeders. Aren't they all those men. Humpbackers. Disgusting Tight end. Ugh. Not really. Tongue down your dad. Always. Soy boys and milk jugs. Ugh. Throwback to Jason Jackson. Those milk jugs. He's both beefcakes. Heard your underwear are skid marked on both sides. Pet the panther or mount the mustang. I can't say this one because it's a little too crass, but obviously I wasn't gonna. But I won't even say it. Oscar Meyer wiener or Johnsonville brought. Fork found in the kitchen. Obviously the intelligentsia. I see the men. That is Sarcasm. Glory holes. Derelict downsiders. Never skip head day because they all had tiny heads compared to the rest of their body. Let's see. Don't make me get my belt. Listen up. Now, somebody say fish. I haven't eaten all day. Octopuses and water snakes. That's one of my favorites. I mean, they would never let me say this, but dive in that seafood tower. Let's see. Okay, let's see what else I have. Let's see what else. I have. To read Of Mice and Men. I read it. Civil Disobedience? I don't think so. Wally Lamb. Haven't read it. I'm reading Crime and Punishment right now. Okay, you guys know I'm educated, but it's actually like, from the beginning, it kind of hooks you. This guy's a freak. Photo shoot. Ideas. Beginning of Barbarella as astronaut. Floating. And that's it. See? Books to read. Manual for Cleaning Woman. That's another one. Sex Club. The Box would love to go. For journalistic reasons. No, I will not give you Robbie's Social Security number. Let's see. Press. Get your head out of the gutter at 7am they have to get dropped into the water. I say they're lucky they didn't end up like the submersible. I said that like 12 times and nobody laughed. With all that jewelry and outfits and water shoes and extensions and hair gel. They're gonna fall to the bottom of the ocean and probably implode. Much like the submersible. Much of the ocean has yet to be discovered. And I have not none to sight to come face to face with a species that maybe hasn't been studied yet. I said that nobody laughed. I would be in a wetsuit for buoyancy purposes. At Would boys drop like a bag of bricks due to hours at the gym and too many muscles. It doesn't lend itself to a fall of the middle of the ocean. And that's just facts. It's. It's like military living in bunkers, whatever. And I would maybe trust them to fight for our country if they fought with the same fervor as in the bedroom. And let me tell you, a twin bunk bed didn't stop them. I'm pretty sure I said that too. And nobody laughed. Shoes. Jude. Mista. I love mista, you guys. It's in New York. Let's see. These are. These are things that I. That I like. Things that come to my mind. Ganglion cyst. Looking older than God's wet nurse. I read that somewhere. Like a planner. Ward. I already explained that to you. Ambus Sex dress. Who said that? Tallulah Mainline a gorilla tranquilizer. I think I did that one myself. Let's see. Okay, hold on. Let's see. I have to have some other good ones here. Tomorrow. Massage, flowers, salt the chicken to watch the Comeback and Members Only on Palm Beach. I heard. Oh, my God, I can't wait for Real Housewives of Rhode Island. Let's see. Makeup, daytime cunt, but can be HD flash, lighter eye, but still have eyes. Whatever that means. Book on the wall like a fire hydrant. Yes. Let's see. Let's see, let's see, let's see. Hold on. Okay, I'll give you a couple more of these. Oh, I don't know what that. I'm trying to fantasize life, it seems. And then my fantasized life is made up of picking up Walgreens photos and getting the wrong ones. Okay, let's see. Okay. Oh, this. This I wrote when I was high in Robbie's cabin. Few better things than taking an edible reading and Stoking the Fire by Sylvia Plath. I thought that was so funny. I asked Robbie if I should post it, and she says never to post things when I'm high. But, like, why? I have no idea what I'm talking about here. Oh, I forgot. I got to go to the doctors. I know. She said it was okay. There's something wrong with my glute. Oh, and it's an emergency. I'll brb. I wasn't totally lying. There's something wrong with my maximus. It needed a workout. I can't let this thing get all flabby while the honey baked ham lies waiting for Christmas Day. The StairMaster is my sneaky Linky today. And then maybe a quick crunch for the awaiting pumpkin pie. No clue. I have no clue. Oh, things depressed people do. Don't go outside if it's cold, obviously. Better yet, don't go outside at all. Smoke a cigarette in the bathroom while the water is running. I may have done that one or two times at nine Orchard. Don't eat or eat five inscrutable a day, minimum. Okay. Stay horizontal for so long, when you stand up, your head gets dizzy because you haven't seen the world from such a high altitude. Take a bath, but don't get dressed. Instead, watch a movie on your iPad while drying off naked. That just sounds like fun. Ignore emails. Ignore Bucky text messages. Bucky. Let's see, let's see, let's see. Classical music. Invitation to the dance? Sure. Hello? Somebody saying hello to me? Oh, God. Hello? Who's here? Oh, delivery. It's my Sephora, but I don't want to go get it. Giorgio Armani, reformulated. It's supposed to be really good. Okay, here's your last one. Poems about pregnancy but not wanting it to end. Okay, Let's see if I can find any other good ones. It doesn't seem like it, honestly. Oh, I wrote down mental health facilities. Oh, my God. The delivery guy and Robbie are exchanging. They can't find each other. Okay, okay, okay, this is the last one. And it's 1111. Make a wish. Mental health facilities. Austin Riggs, Stockbridge, Ma Am FM San Juan Capistrano. In case I want to quit cold turkey on all my meds, which I do think about a lot. Okay, guys, until next time. Thanks for coming back at vrbo, we understand that even the best of plans sometimes need a little support. So we plan for the plot twists. Every booking is automatically backed by our VRBO care guarantee, giving you confidence from the very start. Whenever you need help, it's ready before your stay, through the moments in paper, between and after your trip. Because a great trip starts with peace of mind and maybe a good playlist. But we've got the peace of mind part covered.
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