← Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Tay’s wedding and propaganda on my oatmeal cup
00:43:45
This week we’re talking about Taylor Swift’s grounded MSG wedding shutting down NYC and hidden propaganda on the underside of my oatmeal cup. Enjoy!
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Transcript83 lines
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The best dancers from across the globe are about to join me for the audition of a lifetime.
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Abc Monday. Do they have what it takes to compete and be the next Dancing with the Stars pro?
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I'm here to win.
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Nothing is gonna stop me.
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Our star judges will decide.
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This is what hunger looks like.
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It was 100% the wrong choice.
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Robert Irwin hosts the next era of
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ballroom starts right here on Dancing with the Stars.
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The next Pro series premiere Monday, 8, 7 Central on ABC. Next day on Hulu.
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And now a word from our SP sponsors. You look around and everybody looks amazing with the summer glow and the same kind of a blush. And what about a berry lip liner? It's not random. It's Sephora.
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Hello.
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I can't go in.
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I can't go in without finding something I absolutely need. I don't care how big or small makes me feel good. And. And Sephora is where you can find the newest, hottest drops you won't find anywhere else. And ain't that the truth?
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Say less.
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So shop the newest, hottest beauty only at Sephora.
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Hello. Let me get comfortable here. I'm already sweating. I don't know if you can tell by my upper lip not to bring attention. I don't know what's going on with the weather here. It's like. It's like July, but it's hot. But I wish it was cold. I wish it was cold. People get so sad, so mournful, so lonesome when the seasons change, when summer comes, just to know that it's going to be over. Not me. Not me. I would give for a couple of dark, gloomy, rainy days all in bed and not have to sweat under every crevice or on top of every lip, if you know what I mean. But it is what it is. And we are who we are. Who would have thunk that last episode with Michael, with the discussion of Michael Jackson, that it would be so controversial, it would be so polarizing, it would be such a point of contention. I thought the minute he stuck his baby out the window with a washcloth over her head that we knew it was over. But you're right. I do. I believe everything I see in here, and I believe everything from a documentary that was taken down because of Know something Clause that the Michael Jackson estate won against hbo. No problem. No problem. That doesn't scream guilty. But I'm over. I'm over it. I'm done talking about it. It's a new week. It's a new week. It's a new day of hell. So, I mean, I have a lighter episode for you today, believe you me, but maybe not that much later. And just like every week, you might not like everything I have to say, but who has the mic? Need I remind you, this is my platform and you are here to listen and of course, draw your own conclusions that I will never be privy to, nor do I want to. Okay.
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The best dancers from across the globe are about to join me for the audition of a lifetime.
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B
Abc Monday. Do they have what it takes to compete and be the next Dancing with the Stars pro?
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C
I'm here to win.
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Nothing is going to stop me.
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Our star judges will decide.
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This is what hunger looks like.
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It was 100% the wrong choice.
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Robert Irwin hosts The next era of
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ballroom starts right here on Dancing with the Stars.
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The next Pro series premiere Monday, 8, 7 Central on ABC. Next day on Hulu.
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And now a word from our sponsors. You look around and everybody looks amazing with the summer glow and the same kind of a blush. And what about a berry lip liner? It's not random. It's Sephora.
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A
Hello.
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I can't go in.
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I can't go in without finding something I absolutely need. I don't care how big or small makes me feel good. And Sephora is where you can find the newest, hottest drops you won't find anywhere else. And ain't that the truth?
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Say less.
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So shop the newest, hottest beauty only at Sephora.
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And I think all this season changing, all this longing, all this very upsetting heat and condensation on my face and everywhere else in my body, it has me thinking, some smells that I love, some smells, you know, that are nostalgic that you might not think of all of the time. You know, smells is the number one sense to bring upon the past. Good or bad, either or none or all of the above. You remember cafeteria food. You remember that smell, the smell of childhood that you hated because everyone else hated you. No one likes a child, not even your mother. It's redolent. Makes you think and think and think of the past. It smells like regret and. Or rejection. And it causes pain. But some of the ones I do love is my dog's breath. Any dog's breath, really. I love dog's breath. Dog breath. When we say dog breath, it has too much of a negative feeling. But really, it is a great smell. My own underwear, my own workings of throughout the day, the mere presence that I have a vagina to be proud of. My upper lip. I love to smell it, especially sweaty vinegar. Dog breath after dinner, dog breath after breakfast. If There's a dog breath after lunch. I would like that too. But he gets two meals a day. Gasoline, lavender from the bush, obviously. Robbie. And peanut butter. I think we can agree on all of them. And I do, I do have to lift these things right to my nose because it's not big enough to smell. My nostrils are mere nairs. And I have to lift these things up to my nose like a pug. And then it takes me back to a good place most of the time. So it's just a thought really, really. But should we talk about Taylor Swift's wedding? Aha. That's why we're all here. And you know, I wish I had something very astute to say. I wish I had one observation that was of like nobody else is something groundbreaking, something insightful. But I don't. Maybe it's apathy that comes with an expectation that is shared to expectate. You know what I mean? Did I know she was going to pick msg on 4th of July weekend? Of course not. What am I, a psychic? What do I play with the devil? Am I surprised? Of course not. What am I, an idiot? What are my eyes closed walking through this earth? What do. I don't know. Taylor Swift herself. Would she keep it a secret and keep it private? Of course not. She's a ham. She loves severe attention. She loves to make a scene. She will turn any little thing into a huge PR moment and statement to make herself known on her own will. But she'll only do it on her own will because do we see her in normal media, normal publicity, like, I don't know, the COVID of a magazine which she could take her pick, but she's off magazines, I assume. We can assume there's been no magazine cover, no Vogue, no W and no People. No People mag of. Of Taylor and Travis's wedding exclusive, no Us Weekly. But maybe it's because she doesn't even want to give even a little bit of herself to someone else. She doesn't want to give her narrative or, or. Or her control away to somebody else's hand. She has to have the control every narrative via paparazzi. There there are for somebody who stays out of mainstream media. Maybe there are so many paparazzi pics of their. Aren't. Aren't they? Aren't ya? Aren't you Tay? She's calling. Oh yeah, she's calling. Here I'm in New York with my baby. Here I'm at the Knicks game with my baby. She creates her own press, her own moment. She doesn't Need. She doesn't need anybody else. And Travis Kelce, he's so dumb. He's probably like, oh my God, this is so fun. And he just goes along like he plays sports and now he gets to get married in sports. His two favorite sports. Sports in sports and then a sport.
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Sports.
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He has a hard on for sports. We don't know if it is for Taylor. It's hard to say. It's unknown for sure how many hits he has taken to his head. So I mean, she just didn't want a private wedding at her estate in Connecticut where she could have had an equal amount of security.
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It's just.
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It's just what she didn't want. And we are our wants and our don't wants or else who would we be? She just didn't want it. So apparently Taylor picked MSG because they have the most security available to all of mankind. You can afford any kind of security for any amount of time, for any amount of people. Don't point in my face and call me stupid, Taylor, but I understand that this is maybe just your want. Maybe just come out and say it. That this is your want and not your need. She wanted a scene is what she wanted. She wanted us to talk about her. And guess what? It's working. It always works. She's a genius, we know that she's a genius with pr.
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She.
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She never really disappeared. But I like it because it's on her own terms. She's not being pushed upon us like propaganda, maybe a little bit. But she pushes herself on us. We can't blame anybody else, any of the public, you know, those who are just being pushed on us as she does not. She knows she's doing it herself. No matter the risk, no matter the cost. She wanted everyone to know she was in the middle of New York City. She was there and who was invited. She wanted everyone to know who wasn't invited. It was like an award show, like an Oscars. Some of the most famous of the famous ones. You wouldn't even expect Tom Hanks, who knew you were so close with Taylor Swift to attend her maybe 70,000 person wedding. I don't know if MSG was full. Are we ever gonna know then there were other people there that I saw photographed and name in the captions like a, like a JLo. And then the usuals, the, the Sabrina carpenters, the Tate McRae's. The same people we see everywhere at every single party, at every single event, back to back to back. When do you sleep? She wanted a famous wedding. She Wanted an impressive guest slip. She wants to be seen and treated as a royal. And I would venture to say if we did have a royal in our country, it would be her. But overall, unlike the royals in the uk, we just have so much fame here in our country. Everyone's so desperate for it. Salivating like. Like a rabbit of a dog can't control the spit flying out of its mouth like your grandfather's in the morning. It's like that. And the typhoid fleas make them scratch and scratch and scratch because the itch is incessant. More fame, more events, more opportunity to be seen. Please, please, please, like a drug. And. And. And I have to be around other famous people because then the plebs of the people will love me more and then they'll think of me as equally famous. Look, I'm always at the most famous parties. Look, I'm with these famous people. Look, that makes me famous, is what they think. And this is.
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Is.
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Is what keeps them going day after day, one foot in front of the other, one heel in front of the other, because you will be more famous if you're doing the right steps. They'll revere me more. They think I'll go down in history more. I don't know if that's how it works. You know who's famous? Nicole Kidman. Nicole Kidman is famous. She's untouchable and unreachable and unable to be talk to her.
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A ball.
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No one will be able to recreate the meme of her running out of court after her divorce from Tom. No one can do that. That comes from within a famous person. And her red hair. Who knows if it's hers or if it's a wig, but it is. It is famous. And you guys know my theory on famous hair. You have to have identifiable hair if you want to be famous. And if you don't, then there goes your fame. And I need to tell this to every single person at Taylor's wedding, because their hair was not giving fame. But red is Nicole's color, and she's hot and sexy and a bit of a mystery because she's not everywhere. And yeah, of course she's older. And I think that's the thing, is fame doesn't really count until you're older. So why are we trying so hard now? Why are we letting the devil suck and suck and siphon and siphon our soul like that of stolen gas from my gas tank? Sputter, sputter, sputter. I can't go anywhere. But we have so Many famous people here in our country, everyone thinks it's for them. Like famous influencers like that guy Frank from the World Cup.
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Oop.
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Another famous person overnight. Like the Nepos, like the TikTok singers, like the YouTubers. And they all think they deserve the fame and the notoriety, me included. I never said I wasn't talking about me. I never said these things didn't apply to me. But then. But then you think about it and it's like, well, if everyone else wants fame, then I sure as fuck fuck don't want it. I'm no sheep. I know. If there's one thing that everybody else wants on the menu, I don't want it. Because it's probably not good. Because there's probably something better on the line underneath. I know under the bandwagon is the devil's drum marching to my death. And I am not sheep, may I say again. And sheep are everywhere, following the same path, thinking of themselves or not even thinking at all. Just literally trotting along with all their fur weighing them down. But they're following because they must be going in the right direction. They not think living out of desperation and desperation and desperation. Causing Jason Sudeikis to get a tux and go to Taylor Swift's wedding.
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Huh?
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But it is. It's just the same people we see all the time. It's the same three people on all the magazines with nothing good to say and nothing new to share. Everyone just wants the clicks and clicks and clicks and clicks. And if a mag account gets one of these three girls, their clicks will be the most. They will mean the most. They will be the most, period. But not one person has their own sense of a sense. Let me tell you. We are not individuals. We do not listen to our own tastes and our own senses and our own wants. We want to do what everyone else does because we don't trust ourselves and just want to fit in, to be accepted, to be famous. We pant in thirsty desperation with no fire hydrant. There's no relief. There's no big water bowl in sight. And I did. I used to want to be famous. I used to want to be famous and rich. But now I will just take the rich. Let me tell you, fame is desperation like the thirsty dog. Fame is sheep with the heavy fur. Fame is empty. It's empty. It's not gonna fill you up. Maybe I'm trying to talk myself out of it. I don't know. Probably. Who cares? But I think that's why Taylor Swift's wedding didn't really hit good or bad, because it's all the same. Because we're so numbed to these egregious events put on by famous people all of the time. All the time. They don't get quieter, they only get bigger. So like, so we're anhedonic to these kinds of situations, to these kinds of drama. And they tried to make more drama with Lena Dunham. This is. We know nothing that came out of the wedding. Nothing at all. Except that she closed down whatever the streets of New York. And I'm not a New Yorker, so I don't know if people are mad, but I assume maybe, I don't know, like she, Lena Dunham, made a polarizing joke that football is the reenactment of gay porn. Is that polarizing? I would have to hear the rest of the joke to find out if it's funny or not. But on the surface, it does kind of sound funny. This is the only thing we know about the wedding. Maybe we don't even know if it's. If it's true. It's from Elite Daily, but I don't believe any of those photos that we've supposedly seen from the inside of the wedding. Let me tell you. You think she allowed cameras? You think she doesn't have total control of each phone in that room? You think she didn't infiltrate that with a special kind of AI chip technology? You think that clip of Adam Sandler officiating the wedding is real? And he suddenly Benji button by 20 years. There's a clip going around of Adam Sandler and it's like, this is not his current state. AI will continue to make the smart ones smarter and the dumb ones dumber. I swear. And not in the way that you think the smart ones will look at a situation like this and just use one br to think, oh yeah, I bet Taylor wouldn't want her wedding photos to be spoiled and she would allow all kinds of pics taken inside. So how are these pics surfacing if they could have never been taken? Inhibited by this chip that she gave everybody through eye contact. It's just so hard to spoil a secret, huh? To not egg an Easter, huh? To not make you beg. Like those supposed pics inside MSG with the purple that say Taylor and Travis just married. Like, I just don't believe. Just don't believe it. Until I see it from her account, I don't believe anything. And the same photo is surfacing of like a zoomed in photo of her and Travis from the nosebleeds. Of msg. What if you're invited? Wouldn't you be a little bit closer? And it is so clearly a eyed of Travis and probably her. But the AI of him is so much worse. He looks like a Ken Barbie. Maybe some of them are. Maybe some of them are real. But I will wait and see. All I'm saying is that whenever we're served this kind of opportunity on social media, on the Internet, you better think don't turn your brain off. Get it moving. Get the cogs wheeling. But the stupid ones. The stupid ones will believe everything they see. But it takes learning and conditioning to be able to challenge your every thought. And maybe this isn't for everybody. And you may there are side effects to being so smart. You will fall into deep conspiracy about everything. You watch and see what is the truth. Maybe it's something in between. But I do want to clear something up. I will be rich and increasingly famous, but that is different. And you will see me everywhere and get sick of me. But it will be okay. Okay, you listen to me. With me it is different. And it is different because I will plan my disappearance right when the time is right. Like a witch on her broomstick. And I wish goodbye from the light because I am an abider of this sudden goodbye. Huh, you like that? Eskit do be do do of the daddler diddle diddly a skedaddler. And it shall not be held against the Irish. This is not a cultural thing. This should be a ubiquitous opinion in my opinion. So let me do what I want to do because what's it to you if I choose not to say goodbye to you? Then you were nowhere to be found. That's it. That's it. You went around and I said goodbye. What do you want it? What do you want me? What do you want me to search for you? To follow you around like a puppy dog? To beg just so I could say goodbye? No, you'll get the point. That I'm gone, that I'm. I've gone goodbye. When I'm not there I've said goodbye and a lack of words or so. So leave me be and you do your own thing. And it shall not come with guilt or pressure of the peer. Oh please don't go. Oh please don't go. Oh one more hour or one more drink. For what? For who?
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You?
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So I can end up like you with a self rejection and loathing and moaning the next day? No thank you, no, I need rest and respite at home because I refuse to neglect myself Some may Say I am neglecting myself to a good time? No, that I've never believed. That is gaslighting at its weakest form. And how might you know what a good time is to me?
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Huh?
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We could have two different ideas of what a good time is. You and me. Ever thought of that? You and me? A good time to me is safe at home. You and me. There's no you to bother me. It's a sanctuary.
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Oh.
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It's 11:11. Make a wish.
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And now a word from our sponsors.
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You know what? I bet me and Alicia from Rhode island love an Instacart.
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Both of us.
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Where's the half and half for this bitter coffee for my bitter tongue? Instacart will have it there in minutes. Do not fear. It's about to sweeten your day. But just a little bit. I'm getting a Ben and Jerry's cookie dough craving. I just need a small pint to finish off. Instacart is there to satiate my needs. I need binoculars for my new bird watching proclivities. And lo and behold, Instacart saves the day. And I look at Dove pigeons all week long in Hawaii and the disdainful big swell of the ocean, which kept us from our one wanting activity of snorkeling. But Instacart is here. Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door. So you can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacart app now and get
- [23:45]
D
groceries just how you like. And now a word from our sponsors. You look around and everybody looks amazing with the summer glow and the same
- [23:58]
C
kind of a blush.
- [23:59]
D
And what about got a berry lip liner? It's not random. It's Sephora.
- [24:06]
A
Hello?
- [24:07]
D
I can't go in. I can't go in without finding something I absolutely need. I don't care how big or small. Makes me feel good. And Sephora is where you can find the newest, hottest drops you won't find anywhere else. And ain't that the truth?
- [24:24]
C
Say less.
- [24:26]
D
So shop the newest, hottest beauty only at Sephora.
- [24:40]
C
Okay, I think that was a good one. It's like I used to be. Whatever about 11. 11. You know, it's like, oh, what? But now I will take any chance of the clock to make a wish and beg for what I want and need. It's always. It's always the same. I can't tell you can't. Or else it won't come true. But I bet you could figure it out. Speaking of, here's Robbie. Oh, yay. She is going to New York, literally for 36 hours. Maybe she leaves today and she comes back tomorrow night. Oh, do I love her but I could never. Oh yeah, I'd rather be at home alone. And yeah, I'd rather be there 1000% of the time. But I understand sometimes I must leave, they say. I don't really think like that. But I'll tell you one thing. I don't have to be anywhere after dark. My fun is in my own bed with my own TV and my own face wash, followed by my own special potions in a special order over a special period of time. Skin care is my hobby and fashion is my passion. These are the things I want to be doing, not staying out late. They said it once and they'll say it again. Nothing good happens after midnight and it does not. And even if it does, you won't remember it the next day. So I know I will not have another French 75 and then make the journey to Brooklyn at 10pm it ain't gonna happen. It's never going to happen. Where my eyes will cross and then I get lost Wandering back home right exactly when I got there because my eyes cannot see straight. I'm walking in a circle. Because one time I had one great goodbye I had sent in an Irish way in New York. We were having a nice dinner in a private room and the second floor of our hotel. The dinner commences. We're having a time. We have a drink and a moosh. Boosh and laughter and even music where I brought my own speaker. The dinner ends. Where to next?
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They say.
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Where to next? They say they're feeding, they're salivating, they're beginning. They've transformed like a werewolf. But they're back. But the werewolf has now been bitten by the rabid dog. Their salivating drool is coming out of their mouth. Why next? We we. Why next? We are already here. We are already now in the comfort of my own hotel, close to my own room. We move to my room and have a dance party and. And enjoy there. Why can't we just stay here, huh? Where to next? Where to next? Where to next? They say a club across the bridge in Brooklyn. No, I say. I start to stew. I'm afraid. Fuck no, I'm not going all the way over there at 10 o' clock at night, wishing to be home the whole time. I leave my home. I cannot go. No, I cannot go. But I'm not one of those who is going to speak my feelings aloud. I like to lead on a little bit. I like to tease I like to tempt so maybe I acquiesce to their incredible demands sure, I'll go But I never say sure I just act like I'm going along in tow so it's not quite a lie but is the admission of the truth a lie? I continue to fight for myself why don't we stay here? Why don't we stay here? We're already dancing we're already having fun look around here is all we need But I'm being ignored by the public the city is just outside and we want to join the city they say their eyes bleed that is where you're wrong but fine but fine I say as I say fine I start to plan my escape I gather my surroundings and I look for ways out of this situation I wait for my out I don't know in which way it is going to come But I know. But I know when it comes I must not stutter I must not falter I must go. And then. Someone has lost their wallet. Amazing. I know it's here. And we must search up and down the hotel. We start in my room. Where can it be? Where can it be? Move this pillow and that. And then the that. And my wheels are turning. Okay, here is my yacht. Okay, let's go check Emily's room. They say, all right, we turn over. One last pillow, one last comforter, one last cookie that they give us. I turn it over and then I eat it. All right, we're on the way to Emily's. They walk towards the door and I continue. But right as I open the door and they escape, I stay back. I think I'll stay in tonight, but have fun. I'll see you guys. They stopped dead in their tracks, jaws slightly as slack. But there was no peer pressure. Just. Just a bit of a forlorn face. And there was no peer pressure. And I can't. I close the door and deny all of the succession of calls coming in after. And it was the right decision for, wasn't it? I woke up on the next rainy day feeling like I have done something so good for me. I listened to myself for once. And that is a good feeling. Okay. Oh, I just wish it wasn't so hot in here. I rarely ever finish a drink, but I just need some fluids.
- [30:48]
D
And now a word from our sponsors. You look around and everybody looks amazing with the summer glow and the same kind of blush. And what about a berry lip liner? It's not random. It's Sephora.
- [31:05]
C
Hello?
- [31:06]
D
I can't go in. I can't go in without finding something I absolutely need. I don't care how big or small makes me feel good. And Sephora is where you can find the newest, hottest drops you won't find anywhere else. And ain't that the truth?
- [31:24]
C
Say less.
- [31:25]
D
So shop the newest, hottest beauty only
- [31:29]
C
at Sephora and this may come as a surprise to you, but I do. I have one more gripe. I have just one more gripe this instance. But I'm sure there will come some later. For my whole life is a series of gripes. Christian propaganda around me. My oatmeal brand. I will start off by saying they have great oatmeal and I will not name the name for protection purposes, but maybe you can figure it out. Like I said, I enjoy the oatmeal overnight oats. And this I will stand by first thing in the day. I get to start off healthy. Who knows how healthy it actually is? But I hope it is. But I don't know because sometimes I wonder if things that taste good are even a little bit healthy. And I'm not a health food propagandist. I have lipedema. Hello. Did you forget? Well, if you did, you consider yourself lucky. Those around me do not have the luxury of forgetting. So be happy you're not one of them. I've been eating. I've been eating these oatmeals for a while now. And every time I have failed to look under the plastic lid. Cause who cares? I want to get to the good stuff in the cup. You know, I'm not gonna search around. I'm not gonna search around. Scour the food. This is where past Hunter gather. There better be. If I got this from a store, it's whatever USDA allowed to be in the Whole Foods. I imagine there's nothing in there that's gonna come poison me. So I don't go looking around. I just put it in my mouth, I throw it back. And I have a tiring road ahead of me once I open this oatmeal to put the oats in a bowl, mix it with the nuts and peanut butter and blackberries, and top it with a squeeze of the honey. Even though it doesn't even need the honey. But I need the honey. So anyways, one day, through the slimy purple of whatever the oats are made of, I'm hoping some kind of magic sauce that will cure my lipedema or unhealthy. Who knows? It goes down like water on the lid of this plastic cup. The purple slime has slimed off more than normal And I see some sort of black writing underneath.
- [33:35]
E
Huh.
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C
Whatever could this be? I think I like it. But then I see some kind of inspirational quote. Oh, I think I don't like it. You have got to be kidding me. It ruins my oatmeal. It ruins my breakfast. It ruins my morning, it ruins my day. Unsolicited. I didn't ask anyone to do this. Instead, he or she could have easily started my day if they didn't have to ruin it. But now it has failed to begin. You don't have to put any kind of writing underneath a disposable plastic lid to the top of a disposable plastic cup. It's not reusable. It's not like something with like a. With a real lid that clicks. It's just like the opening of the top of a jello. But not the tin on the top. It was more. If it's a Saran Wrap material, that's like the Press' n Seal, it's gonna go right in the trash. You know it. So save the ink, save the laver, and save me, for fuck's sake. And to be crystal clear, I would never ever solicit an inspirational quote. I don't even know of any inspirational quotes, especially not in my breakfast. What an odd place to put it. Like I'm just hungry and it's really being forced on me. This quote and the other quotes. It's being shoved down my. Shoved down my gullet like a piece of the steel of the oat that I'm about to ingest. Literally to help me poop. Can a girl catch a break? I'm constipated. And now I have to be hit with some kind of quote that seemingly I need. Now I can't unsee the Black Prince staring back at me, tempting to ruin my day, but I know better. Excuse me. And throw it in the trash can right away. Not giving into any self help temptation. So you assume because I am an eater of the oatmeal, I need inspiration coming from this said oatmeal cup. I must be that down bad. These eaters of the oatmeal, they are in a bad place and they need to look for inspiration from a blueberry oatmeal cup. They need it. I know it. Well, leave me out of your experiment. Leave me out of your assumptions. Leave me out of your life. This isn't about me. This is about being hungry. So there's not much inspiration needed at the time of eating, except maybe swallow before your next bite. See that could Be a good slogan. There's truth in it. And if you and. And I have to copyright that. Don't. Don't go on with that. That is copywritten, that slogan. And you'll have to pay me. I'm going to register it right now. I want to bet. Do you want to bet? You'll be fucked. And I don't know if that's how it works, but I will be asking my lawyers. But if I wanted something of the such, I would go to Pinterest with my own fingertips while eating this oatmeal cup, which I just do not do these days. They don't understand me. As much as Reddit, as much as our skin care addiction, as much as our astrology and the vast world of our past bros. They don't get me. It says things like, on the bottom of this oatmeal lid, you can and you will. What? Not if, but when. Okay, What? Death. That sounds like. It sounds like a death quote. Who. Who might this be for? This propaganda. It's. It's. It's insidious and sneaking into the air that I am trying to breathe. Why must you assume your demographic is. Is so in trouble, so ailed so bad on the inside that they would like to read a quote like this every morning and to put it into practice because an oatmeal said it. It's propaganda. This is subliminal messaging. What do you want from me? What are you gonna get out of this? This is for you. It makes you feel better. But you never asked me. Cause it makes me feel worse. You assume everyone wants what you want, don't ya? But let me ask you, would it matter if you were eating an oatmeal cup and it had a plastic lid and the plastic lid had a quote on it? Would you? It would go in the same compactor as all your other trash and then you'd flip up the lid and then it would go right to the bottom like you've never seen it again. You just wouldn't care. And that's a fact. A funny quote would be way better. Maybe I would look forward to a laugh every morning, but instead I have to look forward to despair or open up the lid so fast and make sure to crumple in my palms all slimy and such as to not be accosted by the lid. But you are bringing self help unto me like I asked for it. Or like I care about your inspirational quotes. They're so trite. They don't mean anything. This is proselytizing. Isn't it? Why are you trying to persuade me to think like you? What does it matter? I'm buying your oatmeal anyway. Buy the bunches. I don't even know you the one on this other side of the lid. Or am I supposed to believe that these steel cut oats are made from the Mel Robinson? And that's supposed to make me feel better? I don't think so. We know. How? I don't even know if that's her last name anymore. I try and forget her. Mel Robbins. It's worse. I say worse. She's. She's invading everything now. She's invading my oatmeal. So then I googled it because I was sure that this company was to be owned by Christians. I'm very involved in this oatmeal and where the quotes come from and why I am being inflicted over breakfast. So I google it to see if the owners are Christians. It has not yet been confirmed or denied in my research and I am researching. I read every article about this, about this nameless oatmeal on Google. I went through three or four. It's not giving me much. But as you can see as an oatmeal owner, there may not be a declaration of your religious values anywhere. But it just seems like it. And this is because I have experience. This is because at some point in recent years I was in supposed to. I was in the dealings in the beginnings of some contract with some figures of numbers with, with the company who is owned by Johnson and John. You know, it was a company under Johnson and Johnson. And by the way, this company under has treated me so incredibly well. I've worked with them before and I love working with them. It is the parental. It is the gay dads of Johnson and Johnson. They didn't love me back because they're in the closet probably. But they wanted control. They wanted control over me and my Persona that I worked so hard to build and to be honest and to be myself. Now take down the weed, they said, or else we're not given her this contract. Take down the best photo shoot you've ever done with the weed. Take down the most you you've ever been. Take down what you have been most proud of to today's date for us. The soap of Johnson and Johnson so we can continue to spread our message of holiness and goodness. Because that's how we see women who can sell soap. The weed heads cannot sell soap. The potheads do not use the soap. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. I will never take. Take down, change myself. Give someone else power over me for any amount of money. Just kidding. There will always be a price. Because when you give a mouse a cookie, it always wants some whole milk. You give them control over one thing and then they'll take control over everything. Now take down the pictures of your wedding because you can see your areolas, even though it is on your wedding day. And you should be able to celebrate however you want. And we, as Christians running society, have sexualized the nipple for no good reason, even though we have all suckled from it as the fountain of colostrum and nutrition and life to get where we got today. No shame if you weren't breastfed. I know we have good formula. Now. This is just a metaphor of what the nipple is originally made from. I understand some women can't breastfeed. You know, it's hard. There's. There's lots of stuff. But this is just a metaphor, you guys. And then they say, now take down the one where you're completely naked right there. Oh, yeah. And the ones of just you and your underwear. I put them up there for a reason, though, because I want them up there. So why would I just take them down if I wanted them up? Oh, for you? No. No, I don't think so. You're gonna have to offer me way more money than that, which I don't even know, because sometimes money is just. Just right around the corner. And then once you give in once, then people will start taking control and taking control and taking control and you won't know who you are, so. Or if you find the right brand to work with, they're not going to make you do that. And that. And then I said no when I didn't take down. I didn't take down. And then I said no. And that was it. I never got. I never did it. Do I regret it? I could use a Dyson fan down here, that's for sure. The one that oscillates. Maybe I could afford one if I. I don't know. But then I was thinking the other day, I don't know where I was to have heard this, but I was somewhere and there was country music playing. And then I started listening for the first time in my life to the country music. Actually listening to the words, not just hearing the draw, the twang. See, I knew them. I knew the words, but I didn't actually know them. And then I'm like, oh, my God, country music. And then it hits. Country music is misogynistic, isn't it? That's why I really liked it when I was younger, because I did want to be their perfect little girl. And by little I do think a minor because why are these fat old country singers with a cowboy hat singing about girls in jean shorts in the bed of your truck? What are they doing? And all they swear they want to do is go to church and a baseball game and have that good chicken you make on a Sunday. That's all they live for, just these simplicities. Well, that can't be true because you're a famous singer only singing about these. So can do you concur to this lifestyle that you sing about but you do not live.
- [45:08]
E
Huh.
- [45:09]
C
Interesting. But you want all your girls to be in Daisy Dukes with their ass out and a tied up flannel and piggy tails. Is that what. Is that what we are to you and only church and baseball game. It does sound. It does sound boring, but very traditional. So maybe that's okay. That's okay. But then I think. But then does traditional mean conservative? And does conservative mean woman hating somewhere deep inside that you're. You might not even be privy to? I would be. I would. I would prefer there to be some kind of a fork in the road, but one really just bleeds into the other. I wish I was wrong. I wish I was wrong. I wish I was wrong. And when I was younger, I was around the country music types and thought that those things and only wanted to be the girl in the jean shorts aforementioned shaking that ass for you in the bed of your truck like a submissive does. But is country girl simply a fetish? It's awfully particular. Like, you only want a girl in these cowboy boots all the time. Plus these Daisy Dukes, plus this platinum blonde hair. Such a specific type. But don't you like all women? Isn't there just something about a woman, no matter what she's wearing, that you like? But now I'm convinced it's white nationalist. I have to. I do. I need to stop while I'm ahead. I'm kidding. Obviously. This is a comedy podcast.
- [46:46]
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Is.
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I don't want you illy Daily Us Weekly to say that Gabby thinks country music is white nationalism. Okay, you're taking my words exactly out of context because it's a joke. But I do think that all the white nationalists in D.C. on the 4th who were so scary and covering their faces with those masks because they're cowards and making a black woman on the bus just taking public transportation, minding her own business and her life feel afraid for her life. If you haven't seen this image or video, it's terrible. And I do think those masked cowards listen to country music. I do. I mean, at least one song. But in this, Casey Musgraves doesn't count because she's a known pothead and she hits the bong. But any and hello, this is a joke. I'm drawing a conclusion from A to Z. Just let me be. Just let me be. Nothing I say is serious or corroborated or factual in any, in any. In any given state. Okay, But then. And you know what? Maybe the women are excluded from this share. Maybe there's a little bit of internalized misogyny in the country realm. But. But what's her name? Taking the Louisville Slugger to both head lots. Carrie Underwood. I don't think she's a misogynist. I think she's a feminist and a great example. And this one instance of sticking up for yourself. But I do think Carrie Underwood did perform at some kind of a Trump rally. So it's like, I don't know, do we just start from the beginning again? It's just like, I just don't know. Oh, I'm starving for one of those oatmeals and I cannot wait to see what quote is on it. Not. And that's it. You know, that's it. Thanks for coming time and time again and I'll see you next time.
- [48:39]
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E
Today you're more than just one thing. And your vehicle should have more too. More connectivity when you're the boss. Hey Google, when's my next meeting? More space when you're the ringleader and we're good. And when you're the moment everyone in the allnew Mazda CX5 more to move every side of you. Learn more@mazda USA.com Google is a trademark of Google LLC.
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Sequences shortened and simulated.