← Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Long Winded with Gabby Windey
the hamptons and dead women’s things
00:45:38
this week I’m talking about robby and I’s northeastern summer and what dead old lady’s things mean to me ( everything ). Enjoy!!!
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Icebreaker's convenient pack fits everywhere from car cup holders to backpack pockets so you can find your cool wherever you go. Grab Icebreaker's gum online or at a store near you. Okay. Hello ladies and gay men who are also ladies. We're still in the Hamptons. As you can see. I'm not not getting stir crazy. I mean, we have like another whatever. We leave on Sunday. Today's Tuesday, but who cares? I'm already boring myself, so I'm not even gonna go on. Good morning. I started my period. That's more like it. So all of my brain cells are currently in my uterus being contracted and out of my vagina. All of my nerve cells or brain cells neurons are in my tampon. And if that's full, it is on my underwear. So it might not be as intellectual of an episode, if you may, because I'm trying to work on the lack of blood flow to the rest of my body. You know, period legs. You know, period legs. I get the period legs bag. It's kind of like. It's kind of like a sea legs. But it can only happen to women. Isn't that nice? Isn't that nice? All the most pain you'll ever endure, you'll ever feel on a random Tuesdays because you're a woman. I hope these cameras are looking at me. But anyways, so period legs are when all the blood flow has left your legs because it is going to your uterus because it somehow wants to punish you for not having a baby. Well, having a would be 10 times worse. So punish me. Hang me to the cross. Flog me. I don't care. Literally don't care. It's already happening. My uterus is already being flogged by thy great above. Okay? So I don't know what kind of vengeance or retribution this is for, but I have it. It's done. I hear you loud and clear. Okay, well, Also, if you get a peek at my socks, I. You know, it is a debate, like whether to wear socks or go barefoot on the pot. I'm always in slippers, but that's basically barefoot. But it's like, I don't want the temptation to play with my bare feet on camera because it's disgusting. It's giving, man. It's giving. Benny Blanco. Like, men will twirl their big toe like a lock of their hair that they wish had. They'll just wrap. They'll just wrap their pointer finger right in it, twirl it around, twist it, feel it in between the fingers like some kind of a self soothe. Not. Not that I would ever do that unconsciously, for I am better than that. I am a woman. But the temptation is there. And I don't even want you to think that I'm inviting the temptation to play with my big toe like a Goldilock. Because as a woman, I have all of these plights to bear and men don't have to think about them. I hate to start off the episode this way. Honestly, it's not even about any of that. I am sick of Love Island. I'll have to say I didn't even think I quite finished it. I just saw enough of the clips and I heard that Lorenzo hadn't talked to Yulia in five days. And it's like, I'm not surprised. But what. But what a poor excuse for a man. I mean, he has to be honest with himself, obviously. Like most men, like all men in the world, he is gay. So what can you do? Maybe have a little compassion that he's not living his. His life out and about the way he wants to, so he has to hurt women along the way. Those are. Those are three things. Those are. Those are three things in which women are being punished by nature of being themselves. Okay, well. Well, let's switch subjects. Whether you're a festival girly or catching local live music, Dove thinks the only thing you should worry about is getting a good view of the stage. With the new Dove alcohol free whole body deodorant, you won't have to worry about your deodorant. Irritating your skin. It's packed with nourishing serum and free from irritating alcohol. Plus you'll still enjoy 72 hour odor protection and irresistible fragrances for your pits, chest, thighs and more. Get the new alcohol free Dove Whole Body Dio on Amazon or at Walmart today. Adobe Firefly is the all in one creative studio with AI powered image and video generation for today's creative process. Built for creators of every kind, Firefly helps you generate, edit and experiment fast because the asks aren't getting smaller, the budgets aren't getting bigger, and the timelines. Ugh. Yeah, still tight. With all the best creative AI models in one place, Firefly brings your ideas to life. Unlock a better way to make with Adobe Firefly. Anywho, I just, you know, I want to tell you about our vacation even though it's not quite over yet. And I can't even say much to my dismay because. Because again, it's boring. I'm making myself bored. First we went to Provincetown, which is the first city in America to be gay. I don't know if you that as the homosexuals of the world listening to my podcast, I didn't they welcome the different sexualities this P Town to make it safe walking around hand in hand with your girlfriend or wife who you would otherwise hide in the closet along with your wants and dreams of putting your hands elsewhere instead of spaghetti in her fingertips, maybe spaghetti in her labia. This isn't my good friend anymore in Provincetown. This isn't Thanksgiving. I can actually say she's my lover now that we're here in the game Mecca and everyone else is feeling the same. And I'm not saying the gay mecca like we ho please Provincetown. There is no roofies. You can feel the scissoring history. It's benign, the likeness of being who who who you are when other places you have been ostracized for this person who you are. And it is obvious P Town will not bully and nor will its old gay men of constituents who pick up their twinkie boyfriend from the Provincetown airport after flying the inf miss Cape scare to take all their laxatives all weekend and do anal. That is where the heart lies in a gay man is in Provincetown and in anal his broad state. And here in Provincetown you can get an enema from a corner a corner store on any corner and the seller doesn't meet you with a side eye but a side wink which is what your butthole will be doing during the time after it is penetrated. Wink wink Wink of satisfaction. Winking with the affliction that makes pleasure worth it. Winking with the desire to want more. The But a wink, wink and a wink wink. The whole winking while it tries to close shut after that Coke can was just in it. Spreading it wide. These are things I've only heard. So sorry if I'm a little off, but I don't. But I'm not. It doesn't take much research to know what's going on in your asshole. And yeah, I'm looking at you. So it is a town of history that you can really feel in thy veins, in the town's veins, in your veins. The older gays and lesbians whose life it saved. And now there's a rainbow flag on every lawn, some rainbow flags engraved into houses on a plaque. A big. A big, large plaque right on the front door in which I say, chill. This is no longer the 80s, but it is a cute and campy little town that will continue to make others feel safe for a long time to come. I mean, honestly, it's beautiful. Yeah, I don't know exactly. I think it was in the 70s and 80s when, like, oh, you know, that kind of era was the booming era for the gays. They're coming out and. But they're not quite accepted everywhere. So they all go to P Town. So you can feel literally that it has, like, saved this older generation's life, which. I'm on my period and it makes me want to cry. But anyways, that. So the crying part. So then we leave P Town and we have to take three ferries to the Hamptons. Robbie was naturally scared because she's scared of everything. So we took the alternate route. So we thought. But the alternate route included the alternate route of the alternate route of the three fairies. So here we are driving, driving up to the line of already parked cars and six lines we're getting on. The ferry is the one mode of transportation that cannot be replaced. That's what I like about it, that I didn't know I liked about it until now. It is so antiquated and honestly, so easy. We didn't need to be scared. She didn't need to be scared. It's so. There's no computer involved. It's so analog that I feel like it's hard to mess up when there's somebody telling you what to do. And it does make you feel like you're on your way back for more and will be meeting your hot young wife with a baby on the way. After the 24 months that you were gone, at war. So either she is an elephant or she cheated on you. Anyways, once the fairy docks, you hold her in your arms and celebrate. Because you're having a baby. Don't think too much else. Your arches are already falling and you've watched your best friend die. And you're going to wake up to every firework on the 4th and 3rd and 5th and 6th and 7th of July. But I love fairies. It is such a passive way of transportation. And you get to see the water while you travel along it. Yeah, it's like so antiquated, it's so old, but it is still there. Naturally, as I was in the fresh share of this fairy, I was desperate for a hit of a joint or a cigarette. And I could not find a no smoking sign for the life of me. So by default, one could say this is allowed. But I know better. I know better. I'm not feigning ignorance like all of those else. My conscious and wanting dopamine receptors know that depending on where the ash lies, something could really blow up. And that's called self control. Then we could have some kind of an engine fire and some kind of a malfunction and then some kind of a captain would get off before any of us. And we will check our manuals to see if our cars have any kind of floating capacity or can drive on the water in which obviously they can't. So we are doomed. So I took the journey of the first ferry sober. The second two were quickies. The first one was an hour and a half. We parked our car. Then we can go up and like walk around. There was like a snack bar. There was a bar, I got a Snickers. And then we laid outside and like on it was, it was honestly just like, it was so fun. And then we took. We took two more and they were quickies. So we stayed in the car. Except for one time. We got out and our neighbor asked if we wanted our picture taken. We said, of course, dad, we always want to take our picture and ticker picture. Oh, it's my period. I'm not even gonna correct ourselves myself. Oh my God. Obviously this is the first time, well, the second time we've been in a ferry. So we said oh my God, yes. And then she put this sneak on us and asked if we would say hi to her family while her family was currently on the screen of her phone and showed us her FaceTime where they were all waiting for this. Hi family. Your mom just took an incredible picture of us. And we have Been so lucky this summer. And I have been so lucky this summer. It's my first summer where I wasn't working on a Maltese boat with the UV index of 1200, threatening all kinds of moles and wrinkles, and I'm not in Scotland playing a game of pretend murder mystery. So me and Rob have been able to spend a lot of time together. This Rob, not Boston Rob. We did that for a summer. And we went to the Hamptons, like, three years ago for the first time, both of us, when I went on Bethany Frankel's podcast after I came out as a fage. And then we went last year, so this is our third time here. And she. Robb, grew up on the East Coast. You know, she grew up in Crown Heights, but obviously she was too poor to even think about the Hamptons. But that's where. And I didn't even know what the Hamptons was like growing up in. I was going to say the Middle West. I'm reading Jack Kerouac, but growing up in the Middle west, you don't. We didn't go on a family. We didn't go on a family vacation to the Hampton. We. There was no. People are like, yeah, the best part about childhood was family. You got a family vacation. We. We vacationed at the KOA do you know what the KOA is? It's a plot of land for, like, $5 overnight, where you can pitch a tent. This was our. And the family would go, and this was our family vacation. I had no clue what the Hamptons was. No even literally, until. Until I probably met Robbie. So we're kind of trying to, like, you know, make it a yearly annual thing, I think, because whatever. We just grew. Both grew up so much outside of this even ever being a poss. A possibility. So now we're, like, really lucky to indulge. It feels like. It feels like a Northeast summer. These Northeastern people, they know how to summer. They're going places on the weekends. They're leaving Friday. They're not going to work on a Friday. They're going to somewhere sunny and somewhere probably with a beach from Friday to Monday. These people know how to summer. They're summering in la. We're still doing the same old shit, I feel, which is fine, because I do like the same old shit. But these people out here, they know how to summer, and we're learning from them. And now a word from our sponsors. I know we all have taste around here. Whenever I see you guys in the wild, you're always the coolest. The chicest the just the literal. Best girls with taste and personality. 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Sign up and start finding the best deals on products you love with $20 off and free shipping on your first purchase. Reese Witherspoon here, checking into my favorite hotel in Paris. Bonjour. Bonjour. I'm traveling with my Wells Fargo autograph Journey card. So I earn rewards wherever I book travel. Five times points with hotels, four times with airlines, three times on restaurants and other travel, and one point on other purchases. Phew, that was a lot. I need to lie down. Is the room Ready? Visit wells fargo.com autographjourney Terms apply. But anyways, so I feel like now that it's kind of a tradition, you know, each year is different. You remember last year like it was. It was yesterday, and all the spots you went to, and then you go again to those spots again today this time. But it's different because you know each other differently, but better. And there's been a whole year in between, and you're in a different stage of your relationship maybe. And like, maybe you've worked out some of those kinks or maybe now. Yes, you're just in a different place. So each time you remember it, it's the same, but it's different. But, you know, and I just. When we look back at our photo albums, I try to make one every year for our anniversary. We'll be like, oh, yeah. And this year in the Hamptons, we got absolutely bodied by those waves. After spending $50 to park on an app, what kind of AI Hampton bot is charging me $50 and who's gonna check? So anyways, it gives us not only new experiences. We didn't have to pay for the beach last year because of our location, but a new perspective on a similar place. Now, if I may go back to being bodied by the alive and angry ocean for some reason, I don't know what anyone did to piss it off recently, but it is irate. The beach. We love the beach. But do we? Is it convenient? Is it safe? No. There are sharks everywhere and maybe stingrays and those jellyfish that actually really hurts. And I don't know who's gonna. I don't know you're gonna get to piss on your leg. But I hope someone, and I hope it's a girl with good aim because there's no way just because I get stung by a jellyfish that I'm going to be victim to a ding, a ling. Haven't you ever seen Jaws? Am I, I'm like nervous. I'm not recording. Haven't you ever seen Jaws? You say to yourself out when you're waiting in the water, even at the same distance out, you know, in the ocean as everyone else. And it must, and it must be safe because there's other people, including kids, without a fear in the world. So if, if it is so, stay next to them and you will be safe because they are seemingly safe. And that's not what Jaws said. And we know that is not a great theory. That is not a great plan of attack. To not be attacked on a shark attack. He saw breakfast, lunch and dinner and plentiful little smokies around and on the boogie boards and doing the butterfly, the Jaws did underneath the ocean. He saw little smokies and those legs swaying apart and meeting together and sweating apart and meeting together and sweating apart and meeting together. And look, I can swim. No, that's a doggy paddle. You can't swim when Jaws is coming near you because there goes a little smokey. So basically it could be us that at any time. And even without Jaws, without the great white there is the enemy of the sand. We're supposed to love the sand beneath our toes. That is until all of the sand in between our toes gets in our loafers. In between thy toes. And it is actually way too hot the sand to be underneath thy toes. To be underneath thy toes is a third degree burn underneath thy toes to walk on the gas burning stove of the burners that light up in a circle is the sand underneath these toes. And so it's actually not an option to feel this metaphorical sand underneath the toes. It's always going to be metaphorical. It's never going to be real. It's too hot. Unless you trudge through the resistless sand. It doesn't give way. All the way. All the way through the families and kids running straight forward into a malicious wave without a diaper on. This kid is doing as you're just literally trying to mind your business and get through the sand without passing out or having a conniption that comes from deep inside. And the kraken will be sure to take him by his little cankles and he will never be seen again. This naked boy who goes into the beach waves. And the family will still talk about the dried sand underneath thy feet. And forget about their sweet little two year old Timmy. They don't care about him. All they care is that they got to experience the sand beneath their toes. Fuck Timmy. But I'm not even. We're not even to our spot yet on the sand. We are still having to navigate through the regatta surfboard competition. But there's no surfing competition, only a regatta paddling out with huge speakers as big as the lifeguards ladder. Which seems way too big to plausibly get to off easily in case someone is drowning. And it looks way too boring to ever notice if someone is drowning because you're too bored to even notice a tragedy up there on that lifeguard stand. But maybe with two beach chairs and two boogie boards and a small red cooler and two big tote bags of towels and sunscreen and cigarettes, you'll make it to the easy walking path on the hard beach. It's a soft beach, ain't it? Just to have to come back up the same treacherous way you tried to avoid through the soft beach. I am sick of this sand and I haven't even gotten to the place where I'm supposed to enjoy the sand. But enjoyment never comes. You get to your spot and then you twist and twist and twist and twist and twist the umbrella. You twist it into the heart of whatever ground that lays under the sand. And you twist and twist it some more. Which you would think is maybe just more sand. But it's concrete of the magna. Protecting it all, all protecting it all from all the umbrellas being twisted into it. It doesn't want us there. Don't tread on me. The sand is maga. It has boundaries. It has its own views on politics. It has its likes and dislikes of the Homo sapien. The earth is not for you. It screams so the umbrella. It just doesn't go in like. So the umbrella. It just doesn't go in all the way and stays crooked, only blocking part of the sun, leaving the other part to provide extreme heat exhaustion. Yeah, this is where we're at. Enjoying a beach day. So you're still at risk of heat exhaustion even though you've carried this awkward umbrella all the way from the parking lot in which you had to illegally park. And so you are at risk. So you pull out a bottle of water from the cute red cooler. It's not sandy at this point because it just came out of the cooler with a little bit of ice. And that's how you would like to keep it. But you have nowhere to put it, so you have to put it right in the sand. A sandy water bottle is not inviting to quench the thirst. It stops it before it begins the quench. And then you lay out your beach towel. And by now it's all over with. Your comfort for the next two to three hours will disapp. You feign interest and likability of being at the beach and maybe connecting with nature. I'm not connecting with anything besides my sheer agitation that mother nature has provided me. Putting on sunscreen with sandy hands and sandy legs. And you can't rub it in because it is so uncomfortable. And the earth is getting its revenge since you tried on it, treaded on it. Sand is the single reason you go to the beach and the single ruiner of that good time. Huh? Isn't it? And then maybe you want to go for a swim because it's scorching hot and you have no idea why. So it says it's only 75 degrees outside, but it feels. It feels. It feels like I'm Sylvia Plath, if you know what that means. Anyways, back to the ocean. You want to cool off. So to cool off and work your legs since you have a connective distance. This tissue disorder called the lipedema. And this is the one exercise that makes your legs feel better because of the compression of the water. I'm not even kidding. Sorry to bring up my lipedema, but it hasn't gone away just because I've stopped talking about it. But the water is freezing, threatening hypothermia. And you get used to it no matter what pervert next to you is telling you to watch out. It's cold as you take the water. You think I've left my brain in my cute red cooler. You think my brain is being squeezed out of its knowing like it's my labia and My one tight piece. There's other people in the water. I can make that conclusion myself, you old geezer. I don't know if that's derogatory these days, so I apologize. But he's an old. He's an old pervert is what he is. So I can make that conclusion by myself. And I would never want to be invited into a conversation by you. Pervert on the beach. So I go into the waves, following the others, ignoring you, leaving you to stare at my libide mass, which he likes because he's a pervert and I'll take it. And as I go into the ways and I'm. And I ride them with my body like they do. I'm riding the waves now. I'm free. With my whole body I am free. Until I am in prison of the sea. I stop my head underwater. There's predators in this sea. We forget a shark, a jellyfish, something unnamed, ready to inflict such phantom pain on me because it will bite my leg off and then swim into a different, murky part of the water. So I'll never see my leg again or identify the criminal in a lineup. Good luck. The ocean is as big as space and much of it has yet to be discovered. So you wouldn't even know what bit you if it was looking at you with its ten eyes in your mirror too. But great. Now I'm an amputee, so I make my way in. I think I'm safe in about thigh deep water. One thigh deep water. And here I will pee. I've been trying to pee since I got out, since I got out to the waves. But it's too cold and it's too scary. But now here I am safe. No one can see the piss running down my leg because it will blend in with the rest of the cloudy sea water. But then a wave comes. As my urethra starts to dilate, it starts to tingle. It's coming, it's coming, it's coming. The relief. And I get knocked out. Tumbling and twirling in the sand, stripping me down naked from my one piece. Tits out, Areola's out and the belly button out for all the audience to see. Because I'm sure they're all looking at me, aren't they? They're always looking at me. Even the ones underage, those sick freaks. I get up and look, look around for someone to maybe giggle at me or look at me with some pity. Did anyone just see what the fuck just happened to me? I wipe my eyes from the salty sunscreen and I get knocked over again. Mother Nature has something against me. Just like my own mother. I can't win with the mothers. What lesson is she trying to teach me? She's making me suffer for some great sin that I have yet to discover. Or maybe it's preemptive karma and I am paying for something else in my future. I'm tits out again, facing a five year old. I reach for my bathing suit and look around yet again for some acknowledgement of my victimhood. For I have a PhD in victimology. I know what a victim is and I know how they act. Because you're looking at when I spend my whole life studying myself, but no one else has really studied the victimology of it. So that's why I have to explain it to you. Because as a victim. A third wave hits me again. I lose my breath and run away naked back to the crooked umbrella and landmark of the red cooler about 50 meters to the left. Butthole hanging out and everything. I don't care. Someone could have died like this. And now I understand. A baby definitely would have been shaken. I don't know until what age you have to shake them, but I bet they were on that beach being shaken up. And until the last age that you can shake them, they were shaken in that wave. I've been put on a table like a surfboard and exfoliated from sandpaper, which is not needed at all because I use amalactin two to three times a week and it chemicals exfoliates my soft skin into that of a newborn baby. I don't need a sandpaper rub. Oh, my nose itches. Excuse me? This amalactin, it leaves me moisturized like. Like this baby that is just from nine months in the wet and viscous womb. And there is no womb to keep me safe here on this beach. After getting bodied by the ripples of Great Mother's cries, I reach for some cheese and crackers. Mmm. Cinnamon and raspberry goat cheese touches my tongue. Finally I get to relax. Finally I am in some kind of place where I can slightly enjoy. And then after finishing off the bite of my cheese and cracker, there's a crunch of a sand. I hate this place. We have plans to go back again tomorrow with one leg. And I'll hate it then too, because when I come home and take off my swimsuit, a sand castle falls out of my pussy where mother nature hit it like a mon. Like a monostat suppository. But it does not fight the yeast. It promotes the yeast she is evil and to be feared, this mother of the ocean, of the great scary waves of the undiscovered see, in which some of her particles are deep in my vagina. Who has asked for this? Not me. I tend to avoid any kind of discomfiture or danger. But one of our other things besides the beach at the Hamptons is the flea market. They have it every Sunday. Last year we really lucked out because it was Labor Day and oof, those boots were looking good. But. So it has been a source of joy since last year when we accidentally discovered it. They have tiny poochie purses, pony hair, brown and yellow Fendi's and Christian Dior slip dresses galore. But this year, not every year is the same, like I said. So looking back on this year, you know, I. I'm gonna go in with some reservations because I'm not that the paychecks aren't coming as plentiful as I'm fine. But you know, when the tide is high and then the tide is low, so you have to keep that in mind. That's just how life goes. And this kind of work, you never know when you're gonna have an extra, you know, couple dollars to spend on a tiny poochie purse or if you really can't take a risk if it's too small and you're never really gonna use it. You have to. You have to. To actually think, what does this mean to you with the mere money you have right now? Because you don't have a lot. Because there's some things going on that I can't really tell you about right now. But one day I will be telling you about. But I might have to be making a big cash chunk payment for reasons that I will tell you probably one day. So I have to be wise because I'm not. Because I can't. Because this is. The tale is old. You think you're rich and you're rich and you're rich and you're rich and you're rich, and then you spend it all and you have nothing to show for it. You have nothing to show for it. But it's besides a cold water and a cold water shower and a dirty asshole. And you know what? We're all human, so I'm just honestly doing my best. Reese Witherspoon here, checking into my favorite hotel in Paris. Bonjour. Bonjour. I'm traveling with my welcome Wells Fargo autograph Journey card. So I earn rewards wherever I book travel five times points with hotels, four times with Airlines, three times on restaurants and other travel and one point on other purchases. Phew, that was a lot. I need to lie down. Is the room ready? Visit Wells Fargo.com autographjourney Terms apply so like I said, I did have to go in with some reservations. You know, one reservation besides going in with my little lady esque poochie scarf beneath a tilly hat in which many thought I brought a disguise. But listen to me, girls, you'll always know where I am. I am never in a disguise. I cannot waste or buy things maybe I will use and wear someday. This time at the flea for the money is a little elsewhere. Like I've been saying, it's. It's just that time. It's like when you have no money, but all you want to do is spend. And when you. And when the money comes, you have no time to spend it. Or maybe it's just not as fun to spend because you aren't gambling with serious debt. So what money am I spending now? And does it exist? I have to restrain myself. I have to really listen to that question over and over and over again. Where shall my money exist? Especially since I just found out what a tennis bracelet was. Was. And ever since I found out, I begged Robbie for one every night before bed. And I would end it with, oh, I'm just kidding after, so she would know it is no joke. I would really mean it. And then I found myself pressuring her. Who am I? Who is this in the body of a Gabby? I'm not one to pressure people. A diamond thirsty hound dog making her thirst a source of everyone else's problem. Just go to bed and shut the the fuck up. Drink me something, I say to her before bed. Drink me something white and clear and small and dainty right around my wrist. I thought they were some $20,000, so I knew I would have to wait years, maybe decades. Maybe for a renewal of vows or maybe for a push present. That's what all the girls get them for. But what will I push a fart out of my tight cheeks ending in a wrist of diamonds? And then we were out one day, just spending a day just window shopping, just looking in the windows of the jewelry section. And then I found one. Uh, oh, for way less than $20,000. Is it real then, I wonder. Yes. Here is the authentication from a jeweler, not from a name brand, so they typically are cheaper. And here's the clarity of the diamonds and the specs. And then we left it there to think about it. And I thought about it. All for 10 minutes while we were ordering lunch down the street at the Earth Cafe and I ran in a sweat before my salad came to go buy it. I had really thought about it. But now a proclivity for diamonds has arisen. As you know my bank account is going is going the other way. My proclivities for expensive things are rising. What is this inverse ratio? This pendulum is swinging the wrong way, I believe. How did this even come to be true? While luxury is easy to fall upon. But did I need it? What is the need? Because I am sure these diamonds came from an old lady, I thunk. These diamonds around my wrist have a story to tell of a posthumous woman who has lived through the strife and oppression that we are living in now and the only way that could make her feel better were cigarettes and these diamonds. And this is the kind of woman I want to wear around my wrist and be reminded of every time I look down at my dainty little wrist. She was probably depressed and eating some kind of a sedation for dinner every night at 5pm to drown out the screams of her own consciousness and from her husband's and his condescending he's yelling from the living room over the TV while she's in the kitchen debating what to do with this butcher knife and then she looks down at her diamonds and turns off her hearing aids Also will be my fate. Probably a hearing aid but Robbie will be first. She sleeps in her diamonds and so do I she was buried in her diamond. I won't say it out loud, the ones sifted through her ash to find this diamond bracelet to resell it for quick crash even through its history what the bracelet knows is far more than anything can buy and I wear my diamonds and I swear it's cured my lipedema only for one night the first night I wore it but now diamonds are making my eyes swerve everywhere these old ladies packed into hard hard hard hard sparkly gems. I can't get myself to like flip flops, to believe in flip flops. But I found some at the general store with diamonds. Fake ones obviously. They were at the general store and they were $12 but we're talking small rhinestones but sparkly nonetheless and I found a flip flop for me. I'm becoming to know myself that of a lover of diamonds. They are pink and white and on the thong they're hot glued with diamonds. I don't care if they're not real, they're sparkly in the sun. Everything I do or say or think or Believe or wear or see must be sparkly with a diamond. But because I splurged on a depressed old woman's bracelet from the 1960s beatnik movement, I put myself on a budget for the flea. I obviously just learned about the beatnik movement. I don't think they really fucked with diamonds, the men, but there was still, I think maybe, you know, women, the depressed women who did. Yeah, it's like, why don't we deserve diamonds? I mean, maybe this is the one thing that has lasted through all of the movements. But with, with, with putting myself on a budget for this flea, you know, it takes much self control. It takes honesty and it takes walking away. So I did most of the time I saw this chic, understated Gucci bag just perfectly worn in, like a small shoulder bag. Is this for sale? I say it's a present from my boyfriend. It's a present from my boyfriend. It was his dead grandma's RIP. Give it to me. I'm a collector of dead grandma's collectibles. I love a dead woman's things. I'm drawn to a dead woman's things, maybe because they speak through me. Give me your purse. My ancestral knowledge. It kind of came with me as I was born. But I know they educated me and have suffused through me her wisdoms. And this is so clear, as clear as her diamonds. She gives me meaning. So I will give her a rebirth through these diamonds and through this Gucci purse. I think that's where women go. All dogs go to heaven and all women become diamonds. They're pressurized so much until they become hard and indestructible and sparkly and beautiful. And I wear 39 women around my wrist. Don't worry, there's not a lot to them. If everyone forgets about her, she can count on me to remember and to worship her. I have my grandma's wedding ring with diamonds sitting in a case on my nightstand that I say good night to every night. See, my grandma, she was a real woman. She was tough and lived a hard life and at the end screamed for a cigarette from the bed while on oxygen. But she knew what she liked. Cigarettes and diamonds. These diamonds represent her. And they feel so close to her. And I feel so close to them. Being close to her, I am to learn from them and absorb their knowings through my wrist. And sifting through a purse from a joint or a lonesome cig from her purse. So is it for sale? I picked it up and it was heavy and I assume rocks were Put in the Gucci purse to keep its shape. No, it's mine, okay. I suddenly walk away. It's not meant to be mine this time. However much I missed that purse, I did find some other appropriately priced things. A couple of shirts, they were like, had a sticker on them. They were like $50 each one was Versace. I got a Moschino dress that was exactly my size, despite my changing body with the lipedema and sweat preventing the cherry dress from sliding up and around my lipedema ass. But lo and behold, I got it there it. And it fits like a glove, so I couldn't say no. And then I was on my last round of booth See, you have to make your rounds. The first one is just to get the lay of the land. See what kind of vibes they're giving off. See who's. See who's lingering around the booth first. And if they're like you, if this isn't really your demographic. So the first one, we're taking a peek. See how many dead grandmas or dead women of history past has been there. That's what's really going on. And on the last round of the last booth, I found one, the deadest of them all. A stitched and latticed leather jacket that looks like it's from the 60s or the 70s. This beatnik movement that I am now drawn to because I googled it once, but nonetheless timeless. I took a good look at it and I know I have never seen anything like it before and I will never seen something like it since because I'll give you a tip if you are already don't know if I see something I like in the wild, some kind of a designer thing even online, I'll screenshot it. Google, Google reverse image search. And like, I don't know, 90% of the time it's on Depop for an eighth of the price that you're seeing it and falling in love with it now. So it takes a little bit of patience and a little bit of research. I know I will never be able to Google reverse image this thing. The dead woman was practically begging me to buy it. This you cannot find on Depop. She says it was sized as an extra small, which normally in jackets I'm like a medium, maybe even a large. I have long arms, but for some reason it fit like a glove. So it was the most expensive purchase of the day. But I am sure I will have it forever. And I know it has a. It has a story and I will keep writing in its journal. It's like my first and only Chanel that smells like grass. The kind you smoke. Whoever will be the lucky woman if I decide to get rid of it someday, which I don't know how I will ever, but inevitably it might slip through my fingers. Not before I'm ready, but whoever gets to it after me, she will note this Chanel is of the knowing of a wise woman pothead. And she'll appreciate mine in the Chanel story right away and then wear it on her shoulder as more than than a square bag to hold your keys. It's to hold your drugs, to open up your mind, to take off the edge, calm the nausea, abate the withdrawal from your antidepressant. Because I need the name brand and only Amazon has the same brand. So you order from Amazon, but they are on delays. So I left the day before it was delivered in LA and then needed another prescription to fill so it could be sent to us in Amaganza. But who knows if the zip codes are right, they don't seem to be. So I hope for a miraculous delivery so may have can stop buzzing. And I find the patience to wait out Robbie's concerns from AI, from a video that was just fed to her. I just can't do it anymore. We're all doomed anyway, you know? But I'm wearing a dead grandma's bracelet and if she could do it. And so can we. And I got the jacket, which maybe I'll show you. But then I decided not to get the fandachi and went home to take a much needed nap. Okay, let me show you the jacket. Only because I'm feeling funny. Okay, you guys, I don't really know how you can see or if you can, but look at this. It's like leather with all of this fine lattice work. So I have to be really careful putting it on, you said. But like, I mean it's still timeless. Sure it's giving a little hippie, but I think if I pair it with like, like a tiny black sexy dress and like open toed heels could break it up a little bit. But like even these, these pockets, it's from. Oh no. But you know what? It does give you the brand. I'm afraid. See, now I'm afraid to look it up because what if it's not as old as it. Oh. Oh my God. I wasn't even talking into this the whole time. Okay, here it is. It is giving like a little 60s or 70s, but I feel like we can contemporize it if that's a Word with like a little sexy black dress underneath and maybe like, like an open toed heel or a cute heel to kind of bring it back down to earth and a little bit away from the beatnik. But it's leather and you see like the lot, the lattice detail. I don't know here, but I did just see the brand, so I'm terrified to look it up. Actually, let's look it up while you're here and see if I got ripped off. Imp of the roses for Sherry's place. Three of three. So maybe only three of these bad boys got made, which is making my little heart pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter. Which not a lot of things do. Okay. It's called Lido Beach. Oh, is the model. Hold on. I mean, I don't think I got ripped off. Especially I think a real dead woman wore this. So it really is about its soul Beach. Oh, jacket. I hate it when Google. Okay. God, I can't find it anywhere. Okay, you guys. So that's it. I'll see you next time. Okay, I gotta go. We're going to the pool. We're going to the pool. We're going to the pool. We're going to the pool. This episode is brought to you by SoFi, the all in one finance app. The sooner you start investing, the more potential you have to build your money. Even for beginners. Sofi makes it simple with an easy to use app to get you going. SoFi is offering up to $1,000 in stock when you open up and fund a Sofi self directed brokerage account. Terms apply. Learn more@sofi.com SXM Brokerage offered through Sofi Securities LLC member FINRA SIPC. Ever walk past a place for rent and wish you could just take a peek inside? Maybe even explore the layout? Envision the natural light streaming through the windows or plan where your vinyl record collection would go. At apartments.com, you can. With tools like their 3D virtual tours, you can see the exact unit you could be living in. Really envision yourself in your new home. 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