← Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Long Winded with Gabby Windey
VMAs and Tr*mps cankles
00:48:13
this week on the pod we’re talking all about our country.
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Welcome back. As you can see. Welcome back to another episode of Long Winded. As you can see, I'm out of town because it takes work, baby. This oldest here is walk. And I have to walk while I'm away on walk. And I hope this battery lasts the whole time because it's giving one bar. It's not gonna. But I was desperate and had to call the front desk. I needed a battery and couldn't make it over to the CVS myself. So we're just gonna. We're just gonna hope for the best. I don't know. I. I don't know. Maybe this will bring some brightness to your day. Maybe it won't. I don't know if you're aware what happened on this day. It's haunted today. Today's your birthday. You're doomed. Something special happened today. Some kind of achievement or celebration. Well, sorry, because you'll always have to think that I got my promotion. I got my promotion on 9 11. It must be a great sign. Not my future is up after my promotion. I don't think so. Oh, we fell in love. We fell in love on September 11, you may say, while your. Your relationship is set to for sure implode from the inside out. It will explode. It'll light on fire, light up in flames just like the Twin towers did from the inside out. Because we know that there was a bomb planted and it didn't actually. It didn't actually crash from a high speed airplane crashing right into. Didn't actually explode from. From a really fast miles an hour tearing right through. And if you're. And if you're flying today. Why did you do that to yourself? Why would you do that to yourself. Oh, you have to get back for work. Take a sick day. What are you thinking? You're gonna get on a plane on 9 11. Well, if you don't care about yourself, then I can't either. Sure, sure. I'm sure you're not nervous. I'm sure you don't have any anxiety. And it doesn't bring you back to the day in social studies class when you got the news that the Twin Towers were struck and you got to scram, scurry out of that perverts class. It's always, it's always the social studies teacher or the history teacher that those subjects, they breed perverts. There's something about colonialism that gets them very excited about the preteen. And honestly, honestly, it tracks. Honestly, it tracks because those four pervys on Mount Rushmore, they probably believed in child marriage. And these teachers are only carrying on their legacy. The teachers. The teachers who would watch you bump and grind at your junior high, at your junior high dance and then pull you aside and ask you where you learned to dance like that. Well, it's none of your business. Humbert Humbert. 91 1. There's an emergency. And speaking of 91 1, back to 9 11. Like that day was obviously doomed now that I think about it. Is that why they picked that day? Because 91 1, that is beyond sick. You're on a flight. You're on a flight because you have to go back to work. Well, a glass of wine isn't going to cut this one. You're going to need a Xanax. And now what are you supposed to do? You're going to go back to your said job all barred out. You're going to go back to pushing papers through a fog of benzodiazepines. You're going to sluggishly bump all those emails from Monday because everyone took the last Tuesday, Wednesday off in fear of another 911 happening. But you're sitting at your office all sluggishly, sluggishly all. I can't even say hopped up, hopped down on Xanax because you had to take your flight. Well, let me tell you something. Xanax is good for the nerves, but it's not good for bureaucracy. It's not good. It's not good for pushing those papers. You won't be able to see clearly and, but, but you had to do it because duty calls. And wherever you are, whatever on this day today, wherever you are in the world, I don't care what kind of a flat earth you're at maybe Biloxi, Mississippi, maybe a Richmond, Virginia. I would stay far away from the tallest building. I don't care if that building is the double tree. Stay away from. You don't know what could happen today on account of aviation. We're not safe. You know the status of our air traffic control anyway these days? It's not looking good for a technologically advanced country. We're pretty far behind, they say, they say our strips are still manually ran. Everybody else, everybody else has their strips technology ran to avoid human error. But for some reason our country keeps the dated air traffic control on even on 9 12, 9 13. I wouldn't stand next to a tall building. But you are. Look around. Look, look up. You're near the skyscraper and Poughkeep Sea. Anything could happen. Sure. It's only 10 floors up. You're not safe. You're not safe there. Go inside and hide. This, this is today. This is what, this is what's going on today. So I hope, I hope you do have a good day, though I don't. I don't know if you can, given the date. And sometimes Robbie gets in a mood where she's like wanting to play the 911 voicemails for me. She wants to play these heart wrenching, absolutely devastating voicemails from a loved one to me on the way to Lake Arrowhead. We're spending time, we're holding hands in the car and she's like, I got something for you. It's a YouTube. It's tragic. Would you like to listen? She's a hopeless romantic. What can she say? But, you know, we have those voicemails of everybody calling, telling their, their loved ones that they love them, that they're. They're okay. Stay strong. You know, I'm sure you just get rushed with a flood of emotion or something that you like, really turn brave and you want your loved one not to worry as you kamikaze to your inevitable death. But we have all of these voicemails to remember because we had phones on the planes. I don't know how they had a landline literally so far away from land. They're the furthest away from land they could ever get there in the sky, but somehow they still are able to make phone calls. And these voicemails we Robbie cherishes to this day gives us, you know, gave us a lot of intel and how, how tragic it was. It actually was. And then what do they do? Take away the phones. They're like, oh, yeah, that's fine, that's fine. We don't need any fail safes in case this happens again. No, we're not worried. We're just going to take away all the phones, so if there's ever an emergency, you won't be able to call home. And we know for a fact this was everyone's one. Like emotionally didn't save their life. A saving grace to say goodbye to their family and they're gonna rip it from you. Oh, and then you're thinking. I know what you're thinking. What about the WI fi? You. What about the WI fi? You've been on a plane. You know there's no WI fi really. They say there's WI fi delta, WI fi dot com. Connect here. It's not working. I didn't have my airplane airplane mode turned on just in time, in the right time frame to go to my WI fi settings and connect. I forgot to turn the mode on. Now I just have no bars and I'm not allowed to connect. You have to play exactly by their. By their rules or the WI fi is going to get ripped from you. And there's no bars in the sky. There's no g. There's no data that can get you to call home to be. To, to be your last. To save you emotionally, like the water could save a body. But not yours, because you are. I mean, you're. You know where you're going straight to your death. So, like, what are we supposed to do? There's no wireless phi in these planes. I've been on planes recently that don't even have the capacity still. They've never even upgrade to the capacity. There's no frequencies. There's no vibes, period. There's nothing. And you think I'm. I can call home in case of an emergency and this dreaded doom. Haunted plane and you took away my one chance, which was the landline. So now what are we supposed to do now when. Now when the. The hijacker is on the way to do his duties. He's, he's, you know, he somehow got through security with bad intentions. I guess they let you through TSA like that. He's on the way. He's taking over the intercom. He's like, this is what's going to happen. Oh, hijacker before. Can you make a couple loops around the Twin towers? Can you loop some so we can pass that walkie back one by one to contact air traffic control? Give them our family's number so they can. Their traffic control can contact our family so we can say goodbye. Can you just Loop around these towers until we go back one by one. Is that what they want us to do in case there's another emergency? This is your big plan? This is your big fail safe? Somehow, by the grace of God, we're still going.
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All right, well, okay. Well, with that being said, I think you should go about your day as normal. We all do anyways. So, you know what? It. Sometimes it just. It is what it is. But onto something a little lighter. Trump's Kinkles, which are, at this point, I think, representation of the state of our country by way of his ankles, or lack thereof, or missing ones. It's always. It's always, where's your waist? Never. Where's your ankles? Nobody. We can all see his waist, but we cannot see his ankles. And just like his heart, democracy is failing. Anybody, Anybody, any healthcare professional, anybody who's worked in a hospital can tell that he needs 40mgs of Lasix stat, capital S, T, A, T, I, V push. And you have to give him the urinal because his old ass isn't getting up frequently to pee. He needs treatment. Maybe. Maybe. I don't. I don't know. By the looks of him. It depends. I'd have to listen to his lungs. If there's fluid in there. I don't know. He could. Depending on his blood pressure, maybe he'll meet dialysis. That's a lot of fluid around there. That's a lot of fluid. That's a lot of blood. Bullying because his art isn't strong enough to beat, beat, beat. And then, and then he has the peripheral vascular disease. So it's just like it's all weak down there. And then he can't. He can't pull the blood back up, up, up to his brain to help him make good decisions because all of the oxygenated, oxygenated blood is sitting around his ankles. That's where all the decision making is in regards to our Country. Maybe if he got some of that blood back to his brain, we could figure out some things like, I don't know, free or affordable health care or, I don't know, a longer maternity leave. If this was a man and he tore from his saggy scrotum to his asshole while giving more, while giving birth, while giving the miracle of life, I guarantee you we would have a longer maternity leave. Oh. Oh, you hurt yourself. You hurt yourself pushing too hard because you're not drinking enough water or consuming enough fiber because protein is taking all over your diet. And the byproduct of protein breaking down is turning into a gas. That could take over here. Shima Nagasaki, you're complaining about your hernia. What about a 10 pound hernia coming out of your pussy? Then could we get some maternity leave? I don't know, Maybe. Gun. Maybe we could. If some of the blood from his ankles got to his head, maybe we could talk about gun bans. We could really. We could really tighten up on gun laws. Ban them, I think. Obviously, I'm no believer in the second second amendment. Wouldn't we. 1776, that's the last time we needed guns. I'm not just talking about trans people. Has the weirdest kind of transphobia, homophobia I've ever seen exercised, really. But back to our president. I mean, as a public figure, as the leader of our country, we're allowed, we're allowed to speculate on his health. And not even. And as you know, I am health. I was a health care professioner and I was a health care professional and professioner. So I'm allowed to speculate. Not even because of my expertise, but because I'm a podcaster, which is the single most powerful source of media these days. But so take what I. So take everything I say with a grain of a grapefruit. So this is not a. But bi. This isn't. This is not a partisan issue. It is very bipartisan. I was open and concerned about Biden sundowners. Poor Jill. Hopefully she has Hal doll on hand after 5pm when the sun sets. It cannot be good around there. But Trump's heart failure seems to be exacerbated. It's not under control by the looks or absence of his ankle bone. I mean, I can barely manage my antidepressants. I have to take them twice a day, once in the morning, once in the evening, because I do better that way. Okay. It makes me too sleepy if I take them all at once. Just whatever. And so can you imagine? This is why it's like, oh, my God, he has you. It's incredibly hard to run a country with heart failure. You have to take all your heart failure medications. I'm talking a lot. You have to watch what Mrs. Dash knows. You can't have a lot of sodium. Trump loves a pizza. He loves a pizza. He thinks it's fine. You have to, you have to sleep sitting up. You're sleeping upright. Because the heart cannot pump out all of the fluid and the lungs, so. Or in the heart. So it pulls around your lungs and you can't breathe. That cannot lead to good sleep. Sleep enough REM to make these good decisions. You know your grandpa who sleeps in the recliner in the living room every night, he has heart failure. And this is the president of our country. It's like, it takes a lot of time and effort to care for your help. So how. He's overstressed. He's taking all these flights everywhere. He's here, he's there, he's everywhere. The plain food can't be good for you. Altitude is not good for circulation. This is why we're worried, because it's really hard to manage both. I mean, you can't be in the right mind, really, if you're. If you're in this poor of health. We're still going. I mean, and I know people are talking about his bruised hands, but those, those don't bother me as much as his barking dogs, you know what I mean? Because he's definitely on a blood thinner, obviously. He's like almost 80 years old. They all are. And sure, you get bruises around the hands. I think that's normal. He's got to be on a, on a blood thinner to red. Reduce his risk of stroke because it, it has. Being a pedophile has to increase your risk of stroke. Those disgusting, depraved, banal, I think is the right word. Thoughts must build plaque in your veins. And then there's. There's a risk of it breaking off and going to your head. His face is drooping. There's facial asymmetry. And now he's starting to slur. To slur his words. And his MAGA hat is tilting to the side. Quick, it's happening. This is a part of that. Pedophilic plaque has broken off and it's gone straight to his MAGA hat. And now it's on. Now it's drooping, it's slurring. These are all signs. This is the fast acronym for the stroke. Because also another concern that I have is the. The buildup of yeast under his Maga hat. This. This is something really to. To be concerned about. I mean, it has to be getting pretty yeasty. It's suffocating. His head is suffocating. He never takes off the maga hat. I've never seen him in one picture. 1. Anything without the maga hat. We didn't hear about him, where he was. We had no idea for three days. I mean, obviously, obviously the main press isn't going to cover that. Fork not found in the kitchen. Fork missing from the dishwasher. Obviously it's in the utensil drawer. It's like, not that surprising. We know where it's going. He's probably. Probably had the White House doctor, who is a doctor, sorry, he could be a chiropractor practicing as the White House physician, giving him those. Those blood thinners to combat his disgusting mind to help reduce the risk of stroke. And he needed. He needed to put his. He needed to lie flat, put his legs up to help the edema, to get all that blood back to his brain and his heart to make more terrible decisions on our behalf. He probably had to lay like that for two days, doctor's orders. So we didn't see him. But the one thing the doctor said was, you can keep your Maga hat on if you put this cream on your head because it's starting to look funky. It's starting to look like a fungal funky. And this cream is called Monistat. You and I use it for our pussy. He uses it for his flaky scalp because the moisture. The moisture is sitting there. It's not getting any oxygen to air it out. Because he has not taken off his Maga hat since. I don't know. Has it been since 26. Almost 10 years. He's had the MAGA hat on for 10 years straight. The yeast. The yeast has evolved into sourdough. Him and Taylor Swift, both by different mediums, different means, love to bake bread. And he is the. He is. The maga hat is just so camp. It's so camp. He's so campy. He. He is a queen. He's a drag queen. He is. He is really the president of camp. He's like. He's fat. No, I can't say. He's fabulous. He wants to be. He would definitely. He would get the pork chop. He would. He'd be out first. He probably wouldn't even be casted because he wouldn't pass his health exam. Literally. So this is who's leading our country, if you can believe.
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Okay, now. Now we can talk about the VMAs. I guess. As you guys may or may not have have seen, I hosted the red carpet for the VMAs for MTV. Yeah, you heard me. Yeah, you got that right. It was fine. It was fine. I don't want to which it was a great opportunity. I'm honored. I don't want to have to fangirl. I want my fangirling to be really natural. But as it was occurring, I found it to be a little forced, which is a great a characteristic of a great journalist. To be a natural fangirl, to really be in pop culture, to really be in the know. I like to pick and choose. I like to be exclusive. And you know, the whole time I was terrified that Taylor Swift was going to show up. And then she saw my clip about what I thought about her album cover and it being a little disjointed and being concerned for her work ethic. I didn't know if she was going to hold that against me in the interview. But I will say in that vein, I do think we should bring back public beefs. Why am I walking on eggshells? I do have some shit to say. I'm tired, terrified. They don't want to be banned and I don't want to be canceled. So I just like everyone else, you know, kind of walk on eggshells. But it was, it was less nerve wracking than I thought. I will say that I want to be the one being interviewed, you know, because it's all about them. You're asking them questions. Who's going to ask me a question? I have some shit to say. I have a bit. You want to see my G string? I'll show you. I have a couple things that can create maybe a viral moment and I would like the chance to do that. But instead. And I was doing that, you know, on the behalf of other people. But with that being said, obviously it was good. I don't need to do it again. I won't say I need to do it again. I think. Well, and let me be clear, the MTV team was incredible. Big shout out, big shout out to everybody. They were so fun to work with. Cheryl, my producer, is also from Colorado Springs. We had some niche, we had some really crazy references to talk about like the corner in Manitou that had a cult ran coffee shop that we both frequented. So that was pretty good. And I will say I think one of my favorite parts of the VMA was, was getting ready was the look. Big shout out to my team. Ellie, my stylist, Frankie, hair, Danny, makeup, Kayla took the pictures. I like to get ready with them and it was fun and I felt like me and I think it was received well. There was some comment Karen's that were calling me a slut and cheap, which is great news. They don't like to hear that. But for me it's actually quite positive and it's music to my ears. I did not stay for the show. I'm sorry, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't. The VMAs are different than they were in past years and I was exhausted. I started getting ready at 11. We had to travel to, to Long island and then I had to interview people for like three hours though I was pooped. So I Didn't say I didn't. It's not, it's not the Britney VMAs anymore, Brittany. You know, we do. We miss you. We miss you every day. But it is kind of sad because she has, like, she's always acknowledged for having some of the top vma, like, whatever moments. But I listened to her book and all and she was in the conservatorship. Like she was terrified of that snake, but she had to do it and she did it like a professional. But you. Can you imagine how dissociated you have to be with that being said? What the fuck? It's so iconic what she was wearing. Nobody can do it like her. We're all trying to do it like her, but she had such a presence. Like, this was the year of pop. And then after further review, watching that clip back there was a full blown, living, breathing. We're lucky he wasn't growling tiger in the cage that she got out of. Who signed this off? Her dad. He's disgusting. She. We're lucky she's alive. We've all seen Tiger King. We know how that goes. We know what. How are you keeping that thing under control? And why would you put her in the cage with it? I would just. I would not be able to. You would fear your life the whole time. Then she had to come out with that little shuffle. Chug. I'm a slave. Chug, chug. Get the boa constrictor. I've now put my life at risk thrice in 30 seconds. But. And I feel like the big takeaway is that you. They cannot stop working. These people cannot stop. You can't stop. You have to. Because these shows are, are like work. You know, you're showing up, you, you got to get ready. You have to be on, you're doing interviews, you have to be seen. So you're going to the show to do all this, to work, to make yourself known, to make yourself relevant. It felt like a job. I mean, I think the Grammys is different. I think that's maybe a little more exciting. I hate to say these, these days, but there was really a day for the VMAs. But it was like Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga was there. She was dressed in full drag. She went on stage, gave a speech, had to shed one tear. Exactly. That's what she always does. And then she had to go to a full concert in Madison Square Garden. She had to go on stage in Long Island. On Long Island. Excuse me. Already dressed up. All. You can imagine how draining that is. She's on stage. She has to prepare speech. She's doing this, she's doing that. She's squeezing that tear out. She's. She's kikiing with Ariana Grande. This is a full night. This is a full day's work already. Then she has to get in a car, maybe helicopter, but hopefully not for her sake. Re Kobe Bryant. I don't know if she's going to be thinking about the whole time she's got to get in a car to get transpo to Madison Square Garden to perform in front of thousands of people packed with costume changes and choreography. What? Huh? You can't stop. You. You just cannot stop. I mean, and it's like, I guess she was. They were like, oh, are you available? Like, not that many people are available this year. Can you go and do this? And she's like, yeah, I guess I can just do that before I have a full concert. But she has a new album. She needs to be seen. Like, this is the life that you're tethered to for the rest of your life. I'm exhausted. And just know if you see me somewhere, it's work, but I'm there, too. I'm doing it, too. But I feel like at her level of success, she could be like, no, I'm just going to go to my concert. I just had 2 million people in Brazil. I think I'm okay, but they can't stop. It's insatiable. It's a hit of a drug. Fame. It really gets you. I mean, Ariana was there, which I feel like, yes, she's out for wicked. I don't know if we really seen her in a while. I did get really excited. She was walking up when I was walking down and everyone was freaking out, like, oh, my God, she is. She seems like the most gracious person ever. She was, like, singing, like, kind of like she was at church to. I forget whose song. Probably no one we've ever heard of that. Conan west or something. Conan Gray. But they wouldn't invite Addison Rae. But she was. Yes, she was. She was really giving her and her brother. Her brother was in tow. But, yeah, I. I don't know. You guys know me. Like, I'm just a little jaded. I. And I want the room to be jaded. I don't want to have to. I don't want to have to talk to each other. Like, Mariah Carey had to be so nice to Ariana Grande, which I. I do think Ariana Grande is just such a n. And she, you know, But Mariah Carey is a diva. It's not personal. She was like, who's Ariana? And then she was like, oh, I think it's so good to see how far you've come. You deserve everything. It's like, oh, come on. Oh, come on, Mariah. Let's just see a little drama. Like when Courtney Love tweeted that Taylor Swift wasn't a real artist, which obviously, I beg to differ. I think she's a poet and. Poet and a great songwriter, but obviously she's not an artist. And Courtney Love's eyes. Courtney Love is punk rock. This is different for her. She's not going to think someone like Taylor Swift is an artist. Oh, my God. The battery's still on, you know, and that's okay. But she can say those things because she's not. She's not scared of being banned from the VMAs. She's just doing her thing. It's like, you'll notice that I haven't. I haven't said much on the floor covering or front, if you know what I mean. Carpet or somebody. I don't even know Carpenter. You guys know who I mean. I'm not saying much, you know, I'm trying to really. I'm trying to really reel it back. But. But I will say. But I will say some people just pull out all the stops, you know, and some. Some people, it seems, just use others. Use others as drag queens. I mean, use drag queens as props. And it's pretty obvious because we know that's what it takes to make a real pop star. We know you have to have the gays and the girls on your side. So then all of a sudden you're seen with drag queens everywhere. I'm just saying, this is just an observation. I would like to be used as a prop, as a lesbian. How come nobody likes to surround themselves with lesbians for fun and for success and to catapult their mainstream music career? I would like to be used as such, but no one seems interested. Diversity, Hello. Equal opportunity. Hello. One. One person. I thought Audrey Hobert maybe was gonna be there. I think it would have been great to have her there. She is having her moment. Her. Her album is really. It's just so good. I am responsible for thousands of her streams. Like, I forget. I mean. And it's a short album. It's like 30 minutes, but we'll be getting ready in glam. And it's played Robbie's like, I've heard this song a million times. Just play it. But it's so easy to use, listen to. I think she would have been great to have at the VMAs and like, a real genuine, fresh talent. And I think Addison Rae, it would have been fun to see her. She had such a fashion moment last year. I think it would have been great. Who else? Young blood. I had no idea who he was until the night before when I was doing research. So I had to tick tock him. I think some of the girls go crazy over him. But yeah, he's like. He's kind of bringing the rock star back. He had smudged eyeliner. It took everything in me not to be like, oh, we have. We have the same cool pencil on. We have the same technique. Our moi must be doing something similar to each other. And he was talking really close to my face. I don't know if it's a rock star thing, but he got really in there. The point I was trying, I was having to, like, lean back. Like the insides. The insides of my organs were touching the spine. They were all the way in the back. But I didn't want to move completely because I have to stay in the 9 by 16 frame. Because this is about me. Because I would like to be featured in some of these interviews. Thank you very much. So I stood my ground. But, yeah, he was, like, funny and warm and, like, really into the rock off thing. He was like, talking like this, man, and like saying a bunch of this and, yeah, we're gonna, like, kick ass and let's go. We're gonna rock out. Like, this is what I came here to do. Yeah, Ozzy Osborne. He, like, studied under Ozzy Osborne. Burn Ozzy Osborne. And I mean, I think it's great. We haven't seen. We haven't really seen a. A rock star in a while, I'll say. And, like, maybe he'll influence men's fashion. Who's influencing men's fashion these days besides, like, Target chic and those white sneakers and like, maybe the bisexuals in Brooklyn, which are all equally as bad. Maybe we can bring some of, like, the rocker. I think it would be good to have, like. I think it does feel, like, exciting and masculine and give, like, dudes something to be excited about besides hating women. Kurt Cobain was a feminist and a rock star and an icon, and everybody wanted to dress like him. So, Youngblood, if you're listening, you could do that for us. But yeah, he. Oh, he did that Ozzy Osbourne tribute and he has real ties to him and rock. And then I was looking at some of his other Videos. He's giving more emo to me, if I'm being honest. I don't know where you draw the line. I guess his connection to Ozzy Osbourne makes him rock and roll, but some of his songs feel very emo, and he just, like, looks and feels emo, which isn't a bad thing. And I watched him on Chicken Shop, and he was, like, actually quite cool and endearing. He had pink hair. He was a little freakier then. Now he's, like, leaning into the rock. But. But I thought the Ozzy Osbourne tribute was really good. I thought he did really good. I feel like he had good vocals. And Steven Tyler was really the impressive part. I mean, he's 77 and the mic was hot. The mic was hot. He was, like, belting. It was really crazy to see Trump is 70. Look at the difference between Steven Tyler and Trump. Steven Tyler, you can find both his ankles, and he can perform on stage in front of thousands and do amazing and really open his mouth like that to get the cords out. And then our. Our. Our president is a bumbling idiot and his maga hat is velcroed to his head. We can't get him out. We can't get his head out. But overall, I think. I think Youngblood was good. And his manager will be happy because he's gonna oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink. Keep making him money. That's what they want. That's what they all. That's what they all care about. You do your thing. You do your thing, young blood. You go from left. You go from stage right to stage left to stage right and up and back and take off your jacket and put it on and stomp around and do this. The fact that he, like, wasn't nervous or didn't feel out of place with all these OGs and their electrical guitars on stage is truly impressive, and I think it'll get him a lot of opportunity. You. There was doja Cat a joy. Honestly, Honestly, what am I supposed to say? She did do the eating her lipstick bit. She like, which I'm down. Obi. We're here to create viral moments. In my contract, I have to collab with at least two posts on social media. This one is doing well for both of us. Okay, collab. I picked the right one. That one in Cat's eye. Okay. Not so bad. Could be worse with her lipstick. She was. I, like, saw her and she was holding her lipstick off camera, and I was like, oh, do you need to reapply your Lips and, like, I don't know if she took a second. She, like, took a second. So I don't know if she was, like, ready totally to commit to the bit. And then she took a chomp. She nodded right off. I was like, I thought it was going to be real lipstick. I mean, I'm down for a bit. It did what. It did what it was going to do. She had a lot of that lipstick on the red carpet. I wanted to ask if it up her, upset her stomach, like, if she's, you know, digesting it. Okay, it was. And it was nowhere to be found in her mouth. I'm like, whoa, what is this? It's not even on your teeth. But she was great. She was really nice. Oh, what else? Tate McRae's contemporary dance break, I thought. I thought was obviously phenomenal. She's. She is so flexible. And I'm happy for her because she deserves. She deserves a big moment in the mainstream. I did, as I was getting, like, the next day, like, going back to what I was thinking and what I was doing. I was, like, really telling everybody they could do the splits. But it's like, I don't think sexualizing anybody. I'm just fascinated with people who could do the splits. It is like. Like, if I could still do splits, I would do it all the time. It would be a party trick. I started stretching because these photo shoots, like, I wouldn't be able. But then I. I only did it once, and then I gave it up. So everybody who I knew could do the splits, and they came up to get an interview. I was like, oh, yeah, and you could do the splits, right? And I'm like, I have got to stop that. They might not want to be deduced to just their splits. So that was a ruminating thought. And then cat's eye. They were so cute. I thought they. I thought they were great. I mean, they're just young. They had. They all had a light in their eyes. They did. They had gorgeous, earnest, young eyes. They were so sweet and sweet smiles. They all looked really excited. I just can't watch the doc because I can't see him hurt. I'm not an icon, totally. I. I mean, I am, personally, but I can't watch the docu because I cannot see them at such a young age go through this grueling profession. I can't. I want to protect them. I thought they looked great. I don't know. They were getting criticism, I guess, like, what's a vma? Look, this and that. I don't know, they were all dressed by Dolce, so it's probably in their. In their contract. And there's six of them or five of them, so it's hard to find five outfits. So I think they did the best with what they could. And they're all gorgeous. What do you mean? They look bad? They're all drop dead. They're the. The most beautiful, most talented people, literally by competition proven. I don't know if this competition was worldwide or what, but maybe in the world. So I. I just don't think they could really look bad no matter what they wear.
- [47:58]
G
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A
The Gecko.
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Huge fan.
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I'm always honored to meet fans out in the wild.
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Well, the Geico app is top notch.
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I know you get asked this all the time, but could you sign it?
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Sign what? The app. Yeah, sure.
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G
Oh, that means so much. Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it. Could you sign it again?
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C
Anything to help, I suppose.
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Get more with Geico. Okay, let's see, what else? Ashley Simpson came over. She was so warm and welcoming. She gave me a hug. I'm like, oh, my God, you're perfect. An example. She hadn't been to the VMAs in like 17 years or something. Yes. She's ready to come back. She's taking a good break. We're excited to see her. We're ready to see her. She has her residency in Vegas. I hear it's amazing. I wanted to sing Pieces to me. Pieces of me. Pieces, Pieces of me to her. And she was like, go ahead, do it. She said she slept with her hair in four braids. I was like, please don't Gaslight. She's like, I'm being serious. I'm like, oh, my God, it looks so good. I really liked her, and she really embraced me. Like, she knew me. She was so warm. Britney Snow was so warm. Like, the best from Hunting Wives. I was like, I don't know if you guys know what you're doing for the lesbian community. I mean, talk about gay panic. She was really inducing. Sierra came over. You know what? I could have been anybody, which is totally fine. Which is totally fine. She's got to get. She's got to get her spiel out. She just. She kind of. She talked at me, which I get. It's like she needs to get it out. She has some shit to say. It's been a while since One two Step. She has a new album. She needs to take every chance she gets. I don't know what's going on, how much she has left her husband and cannot say. Signed to a football team. So it's like, you gotta let a spiel. So I understood that. I'm just talking about everyone f k a Twigs. She was. She had this really sweet angel voice that I could not hear. So when I asked her, like, who designed her outfit? And she said fecal matter, she said. When she said fecal matter, I asked her to repeat it. It's like, oh, I'm sorry. Because she kind of whisper in a soft, angelic voice. And I was like, oh, one more time. And she was like, fikoma? I was like, okay, yes, absolutely. And I think that's all the time that we have today, but thank you. And I actually. I didn't catch on to her hair that was, like, styled into headphones, but I thought it was. Looking back, I actually thought that was so sick for the VMAs. Like, she does have, like, a cool, interesting look. I just didn't know that Fikoma would make her. I don't know anybody who goes by that for a design. It's like, I get the wow factor, but I thought the headphones were pretty genius. But, you know. But overall, you know what? It was a good time. And I got to show my ass. I got to show off that G string, which is why we leave the house these days. It's not often I have lived and rotted in this room since the second I got here. I might smoke a cig out this window. The Barry, if you're watching, I would never. I'm kidding. But I think that's all for now. So, as always, thank you for coming back time and time again. Another episode of Long Winded.
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