← Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Long Winded with Gabby Windey
Weekend with the Hoffman’s & skin care secrets!!
00:45:59
I got to experience a Hoffman wedding this weekend!!
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The best dancers from across the globe are about to join me for the audition of a lifetime.
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ABC Mondays. Do they have what it takes to compete and be the next Dancing with the Stars pro? I'm here to win. Nothing is gonna stop me. Our star judges will decide. This is what hunger looks like. It was 100% the wrong choice. Robert Irwin hosts.
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The next era of ballroom starts right here on Dancing with the Stars. The next Pro.
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All new Mondays, 8. 7 Central on ABC. Next day on Hulu. You're more than just one thing. You're vehicle should be too. More connectivity when you're the boss. Hey, Google, when's my next meeting? And more space when you're the mom. Everyone in the all new Mazda cx. Five more to move every side of you. Google is a trademark of Google llc. Sequences shortened and simulated. Hello. Hello and good morning. I guess I don't know where the you are. Oh, I'm gonna have to bleep that. I think, honestly, sparkling soda right after a coffee in the morning. Maybe when you wake up, like your mouth is a little dry, you know, one of those, you're feeling a little dehydrated, you chase it with the sparkling water and then like you do, you do, you do just come alive. This weekend. I did. I did have an incredible opportunity. There's no funny business, okay? Today there's no funny business. I gotta get right into it. I have some things later to do, you know, Imagine that. But I had an incredible opportunity this weekend happening. Like if I never did one thing, then something else wouldn't have come to fruition. It's called the Butterfly effect. Ever heard of it? Haven't you seen that movie with Ashton Kutsch, who has since fallen off, of course, due to his undying support for this Danny Masterson, who is a. Oh my God, I have to bleep that too. Of God knows how many women you see, I have to get through this. I have to mind my mouth for seven minutes or else YouTube will flag it. Okay? But this guy, you know what he did to who knows how many women? And thank God he got 30 to life. But it is so unfair and unclear why some dudes get offer and others get 30 to life. I mean, they should all be getting 30 to life and sentenced to castration. Why don't we put that in the libel law? You know, like, like kind of like the death penalty. Unlike death row, with no meal, there's no last meal because you'll be able to eat afterwards. But there will be a date in the Future in which you will wait, Danny, with dooming anticipation. You hear me? And try and appeal, and appeal, and appeal and appeal and get off on good behavior. You will try, but it's not going to work. Even though you haven't learned a thing and if you broke free from the electrical fence of prison, that this first thing you would do is you would do it, do it and do it again. This sexual assault, this violent thing. So your time will come to be sentenced to castration. And all the news and media outlets will come and watch through the, through the see through glass. They're going to take a seat like they're watching a movie so they can document and relay what they have seen to all the media outlets. And who knows if it's true or false because we are only relying on one man's encounter of the watcher. And pain medicine will not be used. It's just not in the prison. And big slice. There goes your little dick. I think they're working on implementing it now, but there are, you know, as you can imagine, lots of legal hoops to jump through. So unclear why, honestly. But, but, but that has nothing to do with my weekend, thank God, you know, and I didn't mean to kill the mood, but. But we had what could be known as the last Hoffman wedding. It is really, it is really a true celebration, a type of festival that has only happened, you know, once every couple years. So the family was all. Not even once every couple years. Who knows, five years, who knows? And then they, and then, you know, and then they may stop. So, so the family was all together and obviously, you know, Robbie was one of 10 siblings. And if you don't now, you do. So it was quite the party for three days straight, might I add. My fluid from my lipedema is just now escaping my body. After, after my legs were elevated MLD for 10 minutes with castor oil after compression, compression leggings all day for four days in a row. Now the fluid is starting to leave me. But I, but I. But I didn't really drink. So I think it is thy cortisol of a good time. The cortisol. The cortisol cannot tell the difference between a good time and a bad time. But basically Robbie's siblings are all like her. They're just nine little Robbies and they have the gift of the gab. So they're really fun and easy to talk to and, and you know, it's like I never really think of the future. I've never really thought of the future now or Ever. I don't imagine the future for years at a time. I've been asked that question before. The question that means nothing. Because who even ever has an answer? I'm just trying to get through my current day. I' get through this 60 minutes of the podcast so I can go return some clothes and maybe shop for some more. But I'm out. But I have an appointment at noon, so I have to just get through the day. And Besides that, there's 10 hours at least ahead of me and I'm tired. What is this? Shift work? I thought I left that. Am I going back to being a nurse? What can anyone do for these next 10 hours? Nevermind. What are you gonna do for these next 10 hours? Or I could deduce it to eight because I will be taking a two hour nap at some point and that's why I like to nap. To put me out of my misery, to make time go by faster. But besides your nap, what are you going to do for these next 10 years? What? Excuse me, however offensive, do not assume I have a 10 year plan and I've thought about the future for 10, 10 years. Like you have a 10 year plan and you think it's going to work. I don't waste my time with delusions. I am rooted in reality. Ten toes under the ground, not even on top of the grass. I'm not even touching grass. I'm touching the wormy soil. Do you not have anything else to do during your day but think about your next 10 years? Are you missing the self loathing it takes to keep you in this present moment? Fighting and fighting and fighting to get through watching the minutes change on your phone two by two. Are you not one of those? Because I cannot relate. I've never thunk and never will think to that much in the future. You hear me? But how do you manifest? You all exclaim at once in unison. Well, I am still pretty good at it. I think Capricorns are good manifesters, so. But it's like. But it's just. With a quick and a passing thought, as though not to linger, you just know what's going to happen and that's all. We don't have to waste more energy on it. We don't have to. We don't have to constantly be working for our next 10 years. Just know it's going to happen. And then hate yourself in the present moment like I do. But. And then there are things with that kind of attitude. There are things that happen that you didn't know to wish for to happen. And those that is. Is the magic. May I? Wow. I'm really in my spirituality today. But I just found it actually, because it's been missing. It's been hidden for quite a while. But you think you'll marry into a good family or you'll like your significant other's family? Sure. I've never liked anyone, especially not a family. So I never knew to hope for it. And then I got everyone's wish. Sorry. Sorry. Such an unexpected joy. And maybe it's luck. Maybe it's manifestation.
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Huh?
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Huh? But I did. I married into the best family. I did. And I love them like my own. And vice versa. They are so welcoming. Immediately welcomed me into the family. Love me like their own. And they're the coolest and best and funniest people. And. And you know. And now they get to be mine. And it's really just like. And I get to be on the phone with Robbie. I'll pipe in. I'll pipe in. I know all the goth. I mean, there's a lot of tea going on. It's like. It is. It's ever stimulating. And, you know, we went to a wedding and Mariana would say, dahlia. Gabriella, Dalle, Dalle Dali. Gabriella, Dalle Dali. And I had no choice but to drop down and shake my ass at this wedding reception. This is what family makes you do. And it's quite fun. I dropped out on all fours and I would do the bear crawl with a shaking ass, which is my favorite. And I in fact, brought these flats to give me a hug of the big toe while I. Dolly, Gabriella. Dolly. Dolly. You know. And it. And they matched my dress. Whether that was by happenstance or serendipity or manifestation. Wow. They say this week is huge for astrology or this month or something. They're supposed to be peace. I found peace between my two big toes on the dance floor. And it was really the best move I made all night bringing these flats. I don't want to be inhibited when I dance. I've been looking forward. I've been looking forward to this exercise for I. I've left that long in the past. You think about the future. Yeah, I think about the past. There goes my exercise. And I can do only half these allotted moves I've planned in my head, in heels. And it's not comfortable. It's not comfortable even a quarter of the time. All I'm thinking about is the burning sensation on my pinky toe. Will it fall off of the next ymca? Will I find it Severed in the DJ booth under the sax player is my ankle of the stirred that needs to support this bounce. When the beat drops, when the base hits, I will also hit. But not as hit as to hit. I will fall to the floor. There goes my angst. Toes awry littered, you know. But there's no toes at stake with flats. And I'm sorry, I do recommend a covered toe. You don't know who's. Whose wayward heel is going to stomp right through the ring finger of the toe. And I even brought a second pair that was used. So I have multiple party tricks up my sleeve and one more. One of my, one of my favorite party tricks. I would hold down the button of my vape and point it around the dance floor. Who wants to suck? Who wants to suck? And one by one, they would suck. They would suck. They would suck. Obviously this is marijuana. I don't like sig vapes or whatever, I just don't. I've tried to get me stop soaking, I just don't. But obviously as they were doing the suck and the suck and the suck and I was holding down and then down and the down. I was worried about the disease and the blight and this disgustingness and hoped for the best. But I'm not gonna let that ruin me a good time, am I? There's no difference in a make out. And it was a hit. The mothers were hitting it of 60 and 70 years old maybe. And I know their age is not accustomed with this technology or of the battery packed and backed sucker that carries this weed. So. Okay, I'll press the button and you suck. Did you get some? Did I press the button? I was worried, I was worried. You didn't get any, you didn't suck, right? It's like it's a little crooked in your mouth and then 10 seconds later up the smoke from the nose, we holler, we holler and cheered in excitement. My vape was even called upon. I'll call it a pen. My pen was even called upon from the dance floor once by a mother. I ran Puff the magic dragon. We shall, we shall in unison in celebration in holy matrimony, husband and wife. I do the wed. So, so that was, that was really my good weekend, you know. And I do, and I, and I know I'm really lucky and I do. As I'm saying, I'm lucky. I feel for, I feel for all those with their mother in laws that I trying to tell raise their kids and that are mean to them. But I just, you know, I Just really got lucky. I, you know, I was already born with one of those. So now I get to have a second family that is really like my own and I get to have all these siblings and just like, you know, unconditional love. Oh my God. This episode is sponsored by Stella Rosa. We all just need to relax. Can you even do that in this world with things happening all of the time and the things just keep going and the world keeps turning and now you're so dizzy. And the Stella Rosa, it has a little bit more personality like you and I than a regular bottle of wine. It has bubbles and a semi sweet taste. I bring it to every picnic. There's, you know, picnics at the park. We're going to the meadows or a birth or just a non occasion. Because you really cannot go wrong with Stella Rosa. It's a staple. Join the club@stellarosa.com or look for it at your local retailer. Remember, you must be 21 plus to drink responsibly. And now a word from our sponsors. You know what? I bet me and Alicia from Rhode island love an Instacart. Both of us. Where's the half and half for this bitter coffee for my bitter tongue. Instacart will have it there in minutes. Do not fear. It's about to sweeten your day. But just a little bit. I'm getting a Ben and Jerry's cookie dough craving. I just need a small pint to finish off. Instacart is there to satiate my needs. I need binoculars for my new bird watching proclivities. And lo and behold, Instacart saves the day. And I look at Dove pigeons all week long in Hawaii and the disdainful big swell of the ocean which kept us from our one wanting activity of snorkeling. But Instacart is here. Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door. So you can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacart app now and get groceries just how you like, Okay? And God forbid that I don't have another tangent to go on. Another, another, you know, something to, to put a. An opinion upon. So I will talk about something. I. I have at least 30, 45 minutes to go. I need to do these weekly. God forbid I run out of things to talk about, okay? After I lost all those brain cells and all, all of the fluid into my legs this weekend. And I also left my dignity there. My nipple was slipping out. You could not. It was googly eyed. You could not keep was all over. But something that is always on my mind is skincare okay. And I did bring a quite a show and tell. And people say, and here's most of it and people say, how do you afford the time for this skincare routine? Because there's some steps in between. Well, I work from home technically and I am severely depressed. All I have is time to think and think or not think and not think and self loathe. So what? My skincare helps me abate the hate a little bit. And I do skincare not standing, but while lying flat. And I get compliments about my skin and so what? It makes me feel good. And the subreddit r skincare addiction is my lifeline and my favorite means of entertainment. It's my nighttime scroll along with the Lipedema Facebook page. And it's not about skincare but feeling good at any age to me and to each their own. This isn't propaganda, okay? I'm not pushing it on you. I'm not shilling. I'm not even paid for this. But brands should pay attention if you do want to pay me for this. Could use a little extra dough. And there's everyone's different. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around. Robbie has never touched her skin. My esthetician asked, what do you do for your skin? She points at Robbie as Robbie comes with me to all of my appointments and terrorizes nurse Jessica. Robbie says absolutely nothing. She is just blessed. And that is okay. And I do highly recommend nurse just at Sarmala Sunders in Beverly Hills. She's the best. But others like me, I need more maintenance and then have found great joy in the tedium. It's like getting ready for bed. It's like taking a second and caring about yourself in the morning. And it just makes me feel whole because naturally I'm in fragments. So first I thought I had combination skin, but then my neurons connected and then I was like, okay, well maybe I just sleep on my side and it comes off on my pillow, duh. As I wake up with a drier cheek and a moist nose. There's nothing you can really do for combination skin anyways in regards of moisturizer, except try a different gel moisturizer on the combo part. But it's like who has the time? And I've tried them all and it's just like not making a difference. So I have made the change to a silk pillowcase, one of my many sleeping apparati. This goes into skincare. I love an apparati. This is what keeps me Going day to day, minute to minute. Because it's 15 minutes there, 10 minutes there. And all I have is 1,020, 100 minutes in the day. Like rent. It's enjoyable. Under the guise of making you better take my money, I say to the scam. You guys know I love a scam. So. So I purchased. So I participate because it does. It takes me a lot of self care to make me feel good. It's not just about the skin care. Sometimes I need a boost, sometimes I need a little more. I am deficit of many things. Dopamine, therefore my mood. Lymph drainage, therefore lipedema. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? We still don't know because there's been no research, there's been no studies, there's been no cure. Sleep, because I can never sleep enough. The soft silence of no one there to bother you. Please shut the fuck up. I have to say to no one. This also helps with your skincare, like multiplies it. The more sleep you get, the better it works. But in my waking hours, as these minutes and hours that my eyes are open drag on and on and on. I have a red light panel. Yes, it expense. It is expensive. But I do love a red light mask too. These are a little stronger, but it's. It's also good for many things. Like any kind of abrasion. It works for soreness. And I like. I use it for chest wrinkles. Maybe I'm not using it to its full ability, but you know, I don't work out these days, so I don't have much soreness. But it helps the scabs on your skin from going at it with that tool the day before. You know, that blackhead tool. It's addicting. So you couldn't stop? Couldn't stop. Oh, let me cheat. Let me check for one more squeeze of a blackhead. Because the pop, the pop makes me salivate. The pop is releasing one dopamine. My parietal glands are swelling. I love any kind of a pop sensation. I'm on the pimple porn, but nothing is in the ears these days. Then I get on the jiggler. After the red light. I get on the jiggler or a vibration plate as known to others sometimes. I'll take a call. Hello? Hello. Yes, what can I help you with? I will turn in those papers just as I get them done by 2028 and you're watching your tits and your lipedema thighs vibrate in a blur in the reflection of the window. It's quite Satisfactory. And then I also lift five, five pounders on the arms. I do a couple of these biceps, I do a couple triceps, I do a couple backs, you know, and then I get in a little workout. But I do have a rebounder because they said it's good for lymph fluid, but nobody told me that. The second you bounce, it feels like your vagina is going to turn inside out. A protrude out of the hole like a pink sock from Aritzia flopping around in between your legs and wetness in between your crotch, which you cannot determine it's from what Is it piss or is it sweat? Nobody will know. As you sniff your compression shorts or leggings. I have a theragun for lightly, lightly, lightly working out my lipedema thighs while they're elevated in castor oil for 10 or 15 minutes, preferably over an episode of reality TV. No, I am not watching Love island of the USA. I try not to associate myself with this country. Okay, watching Love Island UK and it's quite good. I only have pay attention because there hasn't been much drama. But I think it's about to pop off like. It's like you want the good couples to break up. I'm sorry I wish you pain. I want the good couples to break up. I want to see some. I want to see some real vulnerability, some real strife. And I guess that's it for morning apparati. You could do this morning or night if you choose. So it's whatever. It could be a waste of money. It's totally fine. Even if you want to even I would say at the. Just elevate your legs. Maybe every once in a while it might feel good. And for those that find this as especially interesting as I find it, it's not. It's not about. It's just not about staying young forever because it is currency and this current life in this current location. But it's about science. It's for science lovers. It's about chemistry and how these special potions and ingredients make one thing do this and the other thing do that. It's really stimulating. I guess it takes a lot of research. It is for the lover of science such as I in this case, but not in the quantum theory case and shifting and all that bullshit. I don't care about that. I only care about science and in my skincare because it's applicable, because I like the. Okay, this is how you find a passion. Oh my God, it's so hot in here. I have also. I've had hormonal acne my whole life, but now I feel like I finally found ways to keep it under control. But it's been like a lifelong battle. I have melasma as well, and these are the ailments that plague my round cherub little face. And I will be addressing this routine for treating these ailments of the cherub. So hereby routine goes as follows. And I do have to admit it is my largest category spent when I look at my credit card statements. For I have depression once again and it's worth its weight in retinol to keep me happy. But I will prioritize the order of importance and what to spend your money on because it really doesn't have to be that expensive. Okay, first thing in the morning. First thing in the morning after your morning piss, who knows what color is going to come out? Who knows how much of it is going to come out. I assess my hydration, dehydration and do not do anything about it. So I take a pee. Then I splash the face with cold water. One, two, three more times. I wake up the face, wake up the face. No soap. Sand. Soap to protect thy skin barrier. Here's your first science lesson. If you even care, which you should, because honestly, this is invaluable advice that I'm giving you that I've spent years studying. You need a healthy skin barrier to allow your skin to tolerate the ingredients and acids needed to have the ever sought after glow. Okay, you just need one. It's non negotiable. Now here are the signs and symptoms of a lack of a skin barrier. Irritation, you know, like, like this, or redness or pinkness, perhaps a little flaky and it's probably dry. Okay? So you have to work on your skin barrier first, which is the water without the soap. After I do that, I have pads with Kojic acid and arbutin. Those are two very important ingredients that I've searched and searched and searched and compared and compared and compared and compared products and products and products. And the KH pads were the ones that I landed on. They're kind of like a Dennis Gross pad, a chemical example, exfoliator if you will. But these have been proven to help lighten dark spots. They are kind of expensive. I wouldn't say you need them, honestly, or you could. I mean there's a lot in them. So you can use them once a day, once every other day. But when I search for the skincare, I do make sure it has the ingredient I'm looking for. See? Fuck but this is the problem is they go in the fridge and then you forget to do them because mine are in the fridge and I forgot to do them, but I'll do them tonight. Okay, then. Now it starts because mine liner in the fridge right now, so I can't show you, and I can't put it on my face. But then we tone with this ski too. It is expensive. You don't need it. I just really like it. I've been using it for about a year. It's like light. Aha. And bha exfoliating. But it doesn't dry out your skin. It plumps it and it makes it look good. I really like their masks, which are much cheaper. About $10 a sheet. About 10. About 10 bucks a sheet. You have a glow. You do have an immediate glow, but you can also get another toner that's cheaper. Injuries out. What the fuck does a toner do? I don't know. So. So it depends on your budge. If you want to one up kind of. It's just kind of like a luxur. It's just kind of like. I feel like this is equivalent to a pillow mist. You don't need it at all, but sometimes it's kind of nice. All right. And then you let it dry for a little bit. This. I use this spray in between every step. It makes the face dewy. It makes it. It helps it absorb some shit. Need I go on? Okay. I do like this Chantecolli brand. Again, probably a little more expensive, but I do have ways to make things cheaper. Okay. I do my own mix of concoctions. I pour half out in a bottle I'm gonna save, and then I pour half in with A$7 Heritage rose water spray with some glycerin. I do like to tell. I do like to water down the glycerin a little bit. I don't fucking know why. It's really not science fact. It's just proof. Because I use a lot of moisturizing things on my face. But I do actually like the glycerin. Okay. So I use it and I do half and half. And then this bottle becomes about a fraction of what it is because you save it. You save the good stuff. It's high, low art. All right? You mix a little bit of the high art with a little bit of the low art. And if you don't want this rose water, which is just so refreshing, you could do eye drop. I would do the Rosewater Heritage Glycerin, $7. Hu. Huge bottle. Huge bottle. With some Evian mist. They're all together. It's like, it'll last forever. And it's also about $7. So you do this in between, and then you hit it. And then you hit it with the vitamin C. Jury's out. Jury's out for me with the vitamin C. Okay. I don't like. I. I don't love the way it goes on. It's really sticky, and I stay away from sticky shit. I'm a lesbian, and of course I do not want this on my face. But I wasn't using it. I went to. I was like, ugh, do we need this doing in this? Because I don't totally see if it makes a difference or not. It's hard to tell. I went to my esthetician. She's like, aha. Yes, of course you are right. But it helps the other products work. So I've tried CE fru. Like, I can't handle it. I can't. It's too much for my face. Okay? I have it. I have a sensitive face, just as I have a sensitive heart. Yeah, sure, maybe it's. Maybe it's fine on the outside. I have thick skin, literally, not figurative, because I'm Mexican. So, sure, maybe it can handle it. But. But. But I have to be gentle. So I did start. I started with a 10% vitamin C start low, and it was pretty cheap. I just graduated to a time to a 20%. Timeless. I think this is like $40 or something. There is a little bit of vitamin E, but it's way down on the list because I can't really tolerate the vitamin E. But so, like. So it's like, I'm into ingredients, okay? I'm a fucking chef. I hate to cook, but I'm chefing my face up. Whatever. So you have to look at the ingredients. L. Ascorbic acid, which is the vitamin C, is literally third second after water, and the vitamin E is down. Okay, okay, whatever. You have to let it dry. You smoke a cig, you let it dry. It takes a really long time to dry, okay? I'm not gonna lie. So you have to, like, mix it in with some other things while you're putzing, scratching your ass, trying to get that skid off from last night. It's caked to your butthole hairs because you haven't lasered. And even if you did, it's hard to get on the ass cheek. So you have not waxed. So you have shit stuck to your ass, and so you have to get it off and then wash your Hands, let it dry. Like I said. Smoke a cig. If you're smoking cigs in this skincare routine, you have to wash your hands in between, okay? So you let it dry. You squirt with the rose. You get a. You get another squirt, and then here comes a real heavy hitter. This, I would say, is non negotiable. This is the first non negotiable. You spray your face with water. I would get. I like it like an evian spray, maybe $12. Okay. And then spray it. Or. Or do a little of this with the water. Do a little of this with the water. Do a little of this with the water to make your skin a little moist so it absorbs more azelic acid. I don't know. I don't quite know what to say about it except that it is really. It is really a lifesaver. It's going to give you that glow. If you want compliments on your skin, you got to get this azalec acid, which I know all of us don't live for. But you bet your white ass. You bet your dirty ass, white as it is, with maybe a tan line and a sea urchin coming out of the back because you can't even get back there to trim those curly tendrils. You bet that ass that. This is really the best. It. If you have insurance, it's really cheap. If you don't have insurance, you can get it prescribed by like an AI bot or go to ebay. You guys go to ebay? You want some? It's not even gray market, black market. It's like, what's a little lighter than gray? Like maybe a slate market. They have, like, all this prescription stuff on eBay. Azelic acid 15. You do a little pea size, put it on the moist face. It says it's an acid, but it's not really an active. So, yeah, sure, use it slowly at first to get your skin used to it, but it's not sensitive to the sun, and it is overall pretty gentle. I did purge a little bit, but it was like, fine. Okay. You let it dry. This, this. You know, this dries a little faster. Okay. And then. And then you hit it with the Purito. You guys, it's so hot in here, I can't. And now a word from our sponsors. Shop till you drop. And why don't you drop when you shop? Take my acls. If I can shop, I swear it. So here's what not. They get me what not as the number one live shopping app in the Us where shopping happens in real time with real people, real conversations and incredible deals. I'm telling you, I've gotten the cutest designer little platform heels for like Nothing for literally $20. You guys. No. It's insane. And I love, I love the hunt. I love to scavenge. Skincare is my hobby. Fashion is my passion and it comes with, with the search and then the feeling you get after you find. So here on whatnot you can comment in real time and they will show you a close up of clothes, explaining the sizing and answer your questions. And you almost never pay full price. This is what I'm talking about. Download whatnot today and get 20 off and free shipping on your first purchase. Search whatnot. W h a t N o t in the app store. Sign up and start finding the best deals on the products you love with 20 off and free shipping on your first purchase.
- [33:54]
C
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- [34:25]
B
Okay then, then I use this Purito Pepito Tito Wonder Relief Centella toner, unscented. Now I in my head, I use it to lock in the moisture. I don't know if that is real or if I just made it up, but a lot of this, this is anecdotal data which sometimes is as important as scientific. Here's my hypothesis. I have, I have confirmation bias and I do think it works. But this ingredient is really coming up, you know, it's getting a lot of attention. The Centella. It's Korean skincare, obviously. And it's calming and reduces redness. And you know what helps with skin barrier? So does azelic acid. And you know, me and the barrier. Okay, you gotta build it up. You gotta build it up. You gotta make it strong. You gotta build a defense. Do everything in life. And it is, it is, it feels great. It's pretty light. And then, you know, I just look forward to it and works for me. Okay, this, see, it's really not even that much during the day. And, and then I use some of this Elastin Ultra nourishing moisturizer it's on. Elastin is like whatever, like a medical skincare brand. But this moisturizer is only $40. And it's really light. It lasts all day. But I do like my skin to be moist. Moist, moist, moist, moist. I. I want it. I don't. I. It's like there's the glow and then there's greasy. I toe the line. I like to toe the line because I'm going to tell you a story. I'm going to tell you a story. One time when I was a nurse, a long, long time ago, eons ago, I was taking care of a patient. Her two sisters came to visit. One sister lives locally. This is when I was in Colorado. In Colorado. The older sister lived in Portland. There was a drastic difference. Now I'm not judging them. They both had a heart of cold. Their sister was in the hospital. How dare I criticize. This is just an assessment. The older sister who lived in Portland looked years younger than the Colorado you. Why? And this is why I don't live in Colorado. Because the altitude will fuck you. You can't breathe, and it's so dry, it affects your skin. So LA is really humid right now, which is why I'm sweating. And I actually don't mind, but normally it is pretty dry. So I like to use a lot of moisturizers. Sue me. I don't know what Tri Helix technology is, but I would say don't go down this rabbit hole. Like. Like, I've tried to get the whole line, like this whole Elastin line and be like, oh, I won't think about it. It's incredibly expensive. And all you need are ingredients, ingredients. Right now, the only thing you literally need is azelic acid. And you can get it for, like, for like, maybe $20 on eBay in the Evian rose water. Okay. Then I do. I put on this triple lipid peptide cream on top. I've tried so many. The peptide cream is important. I forget why, but it just really is. So a peptide lotion. I've tried so many peptide lotions and I always come back to this. You can find it at Sephora.
- [37:25]
C
Okay.
- [37:25]
B
And then I do put some sunscreen in it. This is something. This is. I do. I am loyal to this one sunscreen, but it is expensive, so you do not have to get it. But I have been using it for two years. It has some good stuff in it. But also it works for eight hours. You know, you're supposed to apply your sunscreen every two hours on top of that beat on top of that powder, who has the time? Who's gonna remember on all the blogs. On all the blogs. I'm 50. What should I have done in my 30s? Tretinoin, sunscreen. That's it. That's it. If you want really, really, really minimal, I would add an azelic acid, tretinoin and sunscreen. I don't give a fuck what sunscreen. I like this. It's called pavise, like. And it looks incredible under makeup. Like I said, I'm very loyal. I'm also. I'm always trying new shit to get a new. A new hit. A new hit. What's gonna make me prettier? What's gonna make me better? What's gonna save my life? What's gonna save me from this depression? Jury's still out. But I. If. If you do have the means to splurge, it is definitely worth the splurge. Above all else, I like Supergoop. Sue me. I think it looks good under makeup. And ELTA MD Is the og but this is. I've worn this on camera. There's no cast. It's just like. I cannot say enough about it. I've never burned. I used it all the whole time I was filming Love Overboard with those godforsaken sex freak perverts humping like rabid dogs in their little rooms while I was screaming at them. I had this on, and I never got burnt. I only got burnt the last day when I didn't have it on. And I was in this on the whole time. I never reapplied.
- [39:09]
C
It's.
- [39:09]
B
It's really amazing. If you can splurge. Okay. Okay, fine. Okay, fine. Let's go to the nighttime. So the nighttime, then you. You. If you have sunscreen on or any kind of a makeup on or. I just like to do it at night. You do a cleansing balm. I am loyal to the Elemis. I like the way it feels. I like the different scents. I had no idea Robbie was so aware of her surroundings. When she looked at my elemis and she was like, well, don't you have that tube in green, baby? Baby, you pay attention to me. Baby, you know about my skincare. Yeah, I have it in green and pink, and the yellow is the classic and the dark red. They're all incredible. They all smell great. They all work amazing. So you do it. Oh, God, here we go. You put it on. On a dry face and you work it in, work it in and work it in, work it in, work it in, work it in. Scrub the back. Scrub the blockheads. Scrub lockets. Splash a little water with your fingers. Emulsify. Work it in, Work it in. Work it in.
- [40:14]
C
Work it in.
- [40:14]
B
Work it in. Work it, work it. Get it, get it. Get all the spray tan all the foundation. I don't know what the fuck you're wearing. Mac Studio fix. You got to scrub that shit off. You might need two. You might need to wash it with two. Then you follow it. You. If you have, like a micro. You guys, I'm sweating. If you have a microfiber cloth, you can. I would. If you have a lot of makeup on, I would use that to take off the excess makeup. Or you could just flush the water. Then you use a gentle cleanser. I use is clinical again. I've been probably using this soap for the longest five years. They use it in every derm's office. They use in every esthetician's office. There is a reason. Because it's a staple, it's pretty cheap, and it lasts forever, especially if you're only using it once a day, which you should be if you've even been listening to me this whole time. Okay, so you. Then you dry, and then you do a little tone. You did a little tone. A little hone. A little tone. And hone in on the pleasure that is the beginning of your skincare routine. This. You let it dry, and then again, here is one of my favorite. This is a. This is the tretinoin spray with the rose water spray. Whatever. Whatever concoction you make. High art, low art, whatever, no art. Just Splash a little H2 of VO on the skin and then tretinoin. This also is a must. I. I was so scared of it for a while because I would purge. I would purge. I didn't have the patience. But once I started getting used to it, boy, did it. That's when the compliments start. That's when the compliments started coming with the azelic and the tretinoin. Honestly, I'm glad I waited this long to talk about skin care, because I feel like I really have it locked in, and I feel like I'm paying attention. Enough with the lines. With the lines. Do this defense. AM&PM and some radical defense in the AM&PM and some weird moisturizer thing that you cannot pronounce and that. No, just do the ingredients. Okay. I do 0.025 Tretino, and you start slow. Make sure your skin can handle. If you're purging in your purging, slow the fuck down. Once a Week only if you can. If you can. And then twice a week. But. And I try and stay low on everything because I want room to grow. What's going to happen in 10 years when my skin gets used to all of this and I need something stronger than I have room to grow to 0.05 and then to. And then to 0.1? You got to leave yourself space. You have to be future thinking. This is how I manifest. Okay, maybe I do have a five year plan with my skin care and that's all that matters. I also cannot wait to start an estrogen cream on my face. But I'm way too young. But that is something we can look forward to in our 40s. Okay, dry. No, but you have to have a skincare barrier. You know me and the barrier. You cannot start this unless you've earned it. You have to work hard, you have to be patient, you have to be diligent and work up your skincare barrier.
- [43:12]
C
Okay, imagine this. A honeybee is out here doing her thing in an orchard, lands on a mystery apple blossom, then carries that pollen over to a honeycrisp tree. Fast forward a few months and no exaggeration, something amazing is born. The sugar bee apple. Packed with notes of honey, caramel and molasses, plus an extra crisp crunch. Sugar bee apples are perfect for snacking, baking and everything in between. Download our new free recipe book and find a store near you@hellosugarbee.com Sugar Bee apples, naturally sweet from B to you.
- [43:44]
B
Okay, let that dry. Do a little bit of a spritz of a face. Then I do. And again, the jury's really out on this. Like, I do think this. These peptides that are like whatever people are talking about topical peptides for skin care, some say, some scientists say, because, you know, I'm reading the research, you know, I'm on Google Scholar, you know, I'm on PubMed, dot NIH. These peptide molecules might be too big to get in. Okay, so maybe you have a little bottle for after micro needling or something when your skin's open and then use it. I think it gives me a little bit of a plump. So I use it, it, you know, every night or so. I've again, I've tried them all. I've tried the expensive to the non expensive. I've landed on Medicaid. It's like $60. It lasts maybe two or three months and I like it. This is the advanced one and I actually like the original, the, the white bottle Medicaid. Let it dry. That's gonna take forever to dry. And then we lock it in with moisture with the burrito Tito centella. And then I do a little spray before my lotions, and then I use two lotions at night. So, you guys, it's really not that bad. It's really not that bad. Of course. And then I take one day. My esthetician tells me to take one day off of actives. My least favorite day of the week. I hate non active day. What do I have to live for? Nothing. What is doing anything for my skin? But sometimes too much is too much. And I've learned. I've learned too much. And you have your whole life to build up your skin care barrier and to get in these things. So why rush it now? But on the. I take one day off. If you're still working on your skin barrier, I would take, you know, about three days off. And this copper, I use Dr. Pickart's 3% GHK. Again, pretty cheap. I mean, I say it's like, like you guys, what is cheap these days? But I was working with skincare that was like a hundred to two hundred a bottle. I think everything is at least half that. But yes, this copper really helps build up the skincare barrier. I used it for a long time, maybe a couple months before I started exelic, before I started tretinoin, just by happenstance. But I did love it. And then it lasts forever. Forever. Okay. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I almost forgot my. Okay, okay, okay. Now here, let's go to my sleep apparatus. Because I do. I like to be. I like to be hugged like a pillow when I sleep. So I do use a silk bonnet. I thought it was going to be the first thing to go. I've tried this, I've tried the pillow, I've tried this, I've tried that to get me to sleep on my back to get all the wrinkles and stuff from coming, and I cannot do it. But I do wear a silk bonnet that I thought was going to be the first to go. I love gives your head a nice little hug as you sleep this garage. I mean, I'm in 90 degrees, you guys. I don't know what's going on with the weather in la, but like, if I could show you my under cleave, you would be disgusted or turned on. And it really just matters what end of the spectrum of a freak you are. But anyways, okay, so. So the silk bonnet, I love. You get a little hug around your head. I wear a silk eye mask. It does need to be real silk, 100% mulberry. I'm sorry, they do have them on Amazon again for cheap. Just check for the mulberry silk, will ya? Cuz silk around your eyes will help keep the skin care in. I just like. It's good for your hair, of course, but I also like my hair off my face. I feel like I sleep better. And then here's the real kicker. This is my tit pillow. My new love affair. My new love affair for my sleep apparati. Because I get the. The chest wrinkles, you know, I mean, I don't have huge tits, but they're there. So when you. And I'm a side sleeper. So then the titties come together and then the skin wrinkles and then you wake up wishing that you didn't after you looked at your chest. So. And I've again, I've tried it all, you guys. This really helps. And it's actually pretty comfortable. Look, you can like, like Robbie doesn't mind it. You can. It's like the cat loves it. This is a little silk thing with the beans inside. It straps right on. Sometimes I wear it over the T shirt like this. Like if I have a spray tan, it works just as well, maybe just a little less. But really, it's amazing. It looks great. It's not phallic at all. It does not look like your yester years of titty fucking, which you had to close your eyes and grind your teeth to get through it. Because this like isn't. It's like dry as a raisin. And I feel like, how is this ever gonna work? And I just like don't want to dick that close to my face or on my tits. I'm a lesbian. And then if you do want to one up it and I can tolerate it, I use a silicone patch underneath. If you want to bring it up a level, it really works. Again, from Amazon. This is. If you're not allergic to the adhesive, slap one under there and you're like literally a baby. I. I used to do tanning beds. I've taken off years with this tit pillow. You guys, I'm literally sweating. I have got to go. Please. I'm sorry. I know you're gonna DM me with all these questions. I microneedle three times a week with. With the salmon sperm. Again, the only sperm I've ever wanted on my face. The sperm I've ever had on my face, consensually. It's pdrn. It's great. I've tried. I tried Chemical peels didn't do anything. I can't do lasers because my melasma. And honestly, if you're asking me, you don't really need them. Don't waste your money on a diamond glow. Don't waste your money on a facial. Don't waste your money on a microdermabrasion. Put all of this in an account for micro needling. It's the single best, single best, most important, best thing you can do for your skin. And then I Botox maybe, like, four times a year because unfortunately, I do need movement. I do a light Botox because I'm an actress. Okay, okay, okay, fine. I'm not done. I'm still sweating. Let's go on. Quick to body care. Because you're saying your skin will sag one day due to the gravity of life. Life is heavy and so is the sag. So all you can do is moisturize with a retinol body lotion. Like I use the gold bond. Again, up to you whether to make high, low art. Sometimes I mix in a little bit of more of expensive retinol. Maybe twice a week. I use an AHA BHA lactic acid moisturizer for the body. Makes your skin as smooth as a baby's butt crack. And I put it on my butt crack and on my Piggly Wigs. And then I use Neosporin for healing pimples and castor oil for my eyelashes. Okay, that's it. That's it. You've gotten all the information out of me. I should have sold this episode. I should have sold this episode for millions of dollars. But you're getting all of my secrets, all of my tips for free. Can you imagine? Ugh. Okay, bye. Latte for Keenan. That's me. Hey, you're.
- [51:00]
C
Yeah.
- [51:01]
B
Buying a car online on Autotrader.
- [51:03]
C
Really?
- [51:03]
B
But unlike other sites, you can start online, test drive with a local dealer, then finish online or at the dealership.
- [51:10]
A
Really?
- [51:10]
B
Wait, are you. Yep, it's Keenan. Able to finish in person without starting the process over.
- [51:15]
C
Really?
- [51:15]
B
Your info stays with you every step of the way.
- [51:18]
A
Cool.
- [51:18]
C
Enjoy.
- [51:20]
B
It's Keenan Thompson. Buy your car online on Autotrader.
- [51:24]
C
Really?
- [51:26]
A
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