Podcast
Sex in Real Life with Stacey Herrera
Hosted by Stacey Herrera - Intimacy & Relationship Coach · EN
Honest conversations about intimacy, desire, and relationships after 40. Sex in Real Life explores how connection, attraction, bodies, and relationships change in midlife and beyond, without shame or clichés.
Instagram: @staceynherrera
Subtack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/
Website: https://staceyherrera.com/
34episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Want Good Sex? Then Use Your F***ing Words
6d ago00:15:07Tap to summarizeWhen they ask, "Are you tired?" You know what comes next. After you've been together for a long while, it's easy to predict the predictable. Which is the opposite of sexy. In this episode, Stacey gets into why using your words makes sex exponentially better in long-term relationships. Before, during, and after. 🗳️ Share top suggestions for the show: https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box 💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/ Ready to Transform Your Intimate Conversations? Get the free workbook 📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook 📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/
Transcribe →What If Blue Light Is Changing the Way You Touch the One You Love?
2w ago00:22:23Tap to summarizeThere used to be these gaps of nothing. Waiting for a table. Standing in line. The 20 minutes or so before the thing started. And in those gaps, almost without thinking, we reached for one another. Now those moments are fewer. In this episode, Stacey explores how screens are changing the way we touch each other. And what we're losing in the spaces we used to fill with each other. Suggested Reading: National Library of Medicine: Blue Light and Digital Screens Revisited: A New Look at Blue Light from the Vision Quality, Circadian Rhythm and Cognitive Functions Perspective Sleep Foundation: Blue Light: What It Is and How It Affects Sleep Harvard Health Publishing: Blue Light Has a Dark Side 🗳️ Share top suggestions for the show: https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box 💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/ Ready to Transform Your Intimate Conversations? Get the free workbook 📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook 📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/
Transcribe →How Can You Be Irritated and Aroused at the Same Damn Time?
3w ago00:17:25Tap to summarizeThere are things that our partner says or does that grate on our very last nerve. But sometimes, as annoyed as we may be, we find desire bubbling to the surface. In this episode, Stacey gets into the alchemy of irritation and desire, and why the thing that drives you absolutely batshit crazy might also stir your loins. Suggested Reading: Arousal transfer (a.k.a. Excitation transfer): https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/9781119011071.iemp0055 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35471677/ 🗳️ Share top suggestions for the show: https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box 💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/ Ready to Transform Your Intimate Conversations? Get the free workbook 📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook 📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/
Transcribe →This Is Your One and Only Sex Life. There Are No Do-Overs.
4w ago00:12:48Tap to summarizeLong-term relationships have a way of settling into routine. Same person, same bed, same sex, possibly on the same night of the week. In this episode, Stacey gets into why the sexual do-over is a myth. And how you could be overlooking the eroticism in the sex you're already having. Resources mentioned: Mono no aware - Japanese concept Translation: "the pathos of things" In other words… the bittersweet realization that everything is transient. 🗳️ Suggest a topic for the show: https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box 💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/ Ready to Transform Your Intimate Conversations? Get the free workbook 📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook 📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/
Transcribe →How Our Past Relationships Shape the Way We Receive Love
May 1300:15:26Tap to summarizeSometimes old relationships linger in our nervous system. We brace for disappointment, questioning generosity, or waiting for new love to come with a list of conditions. In this episode, Stacey explores how past relationships shape the way we receive love in the present. And the shadows they cast long after they're over. 🗳️ Suggest a topic for the show: https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box 💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/ Ready to Transform Your Intimate Conversations? Get the free workbook 📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook 📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/
Transcribe →Survival Instinct or Real Love? Why We Reach for Our Exes
May 600:15:42Tap to summarizeSometimes exes come back into your life because they missed you. But there are times when they return because their life unraveled without the structure you provided.. In this episode, Stacey explores the difference between reconciliation and retreat. Between love and survival instinct. Knowing the difference can change everything. 🗳️ Suggest a topic for the show: https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box 💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/ Ready to Transform Your Intimate Conversations? Get the free workbook 📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook 📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/
Transcribe →Do You Really Want the Kind of Honesty You Claim to Value?
Apr 2900:18:39Tap to summarizeMost of us really believe we want honesty. But do we want the truth? Or do we just want to be agreed with? In this episode, Stacey digs into the difference between honesty and the curated version many of us seek. And why it's essential to recognize the difference. 🗳️ Suggest a topic for the show: https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box 💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/ Ready to Transform Your Intimate Conversations? Get the free workbook 📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook 📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/
Transcribe →Sometimes We Want Intimacy More Than Sex (But We Don't Always Know It)
Apr 2200:19:44Tap to summarizeWhat happens when a married man logs onto a dating app looking for sex, only to discover he's in search of something else? In this episode, Stacey recounts a six-hour phone call with a stranger that unexpectedly delves into the nuance of intimacy. Sometimes what we think we want hides what we really need. 🗳️ Suggest a topic for the show: https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box 💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/ Ready to Transform Your Intimate Conversations? Get the free workbook 📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook 📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/
Transcribe →What If You're Just Chasing the Myth of Your Old Sex Life?
Apr 1500:13:49Tap to summarizeWhat if the sex you used to have wasn't better? Maybe it was just newer. In this episode, Stacey explores why so many people measure their current sex life against a memory. And why memories are often more myth than reality. Nostalgia has a way of retaining the heat. It chucks everything else. 🗳️ Suggest a topic for the show: https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box 💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/ Ready to Transform Your Intimate Conversations? Get the free workbook 📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook 📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/
Transcribe →What if Sexual Frustration Isn't About Sex (Most of the Time)?
Apr 800:20:55Tap to summarizeSometimes sexual frustration has nothing to do with sex. It's not about frequency, chemistry, or who's initiating. In this episode, Stacey explores how emotional disconnection shapes desire. And why relationships that look fine on the surface can still feel deeply unfulfilling. This isn't about technique. It's about asking an uncomfortable question. Are you actually sexually frustrated… or emotionally dissatisfied? Mentioned in this episode: Emotional Intimacy Improves Sexual Satisfaction 🗳️ Suggest a topic for the show: https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box 💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/ Ready to Transform Your Intimate Conversations? Get the free workbook 📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook 📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/
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