Get $200 off your Tonal purchase! Get a complete gym + a trainer in your home by going to http://tonal.com, then use promo code LOVERS for that big discount.

—
In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by Aida Mariam Davis, author of Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom, to explore one question: Is your sex life by design?

We unpack the idea that so much of our sexual identity isn’t accidental, it’s constructed. From childhood messaging that disconnects us from our bodies, to adulthood expectations that swing between repression and performance, Aida breaks down how Western culture creates a fragmented relationship with intimacy. The result? A sex life that often feels confusing, isolating, or performative rather than intentional and embodied.

Together, we explore what it looks like to reclaim your sexuality on your own terms. Aida shares how her relationship with her husband was rooted in freedom, patience, and self-possession, not pressure or performance, and how that created the foundation for deeper intimacy, trust, and desire.

This conversation will challenge what you’ve been taught about sex, and invite you to design something that actually fits you.

Resources mentioned
→ What If Your Sex Life Is By Design? | Intimate Life Audit: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/what-if-your-sex-life-is-by-design-intimate-life-audit

→ A Guide to the Sexual Journey As We Grow: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/normal-sexual-development-from-0-18

Follow Aida Mariam Davis
→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aidamariam/
→ Learn more about Decolonize Design: https://www.decolonizedesign.com/
→ Get her book Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom https://rep.club/products/kindred-creation?srsltid=AfmBOor4haNsPUvlYWcMk7oxSWdcmG-yZCTBeLjGtTDoFO_IaJXU_Jwj

Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices