Podcast
Low Demand Parenting
Hosted by Amanda Diekman · EN
The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. Hosted by Amanda Diekman—author, autistic adult, and mom of three—this podcast isn’t about perfection or expert advice. It’s about learning together how to drop the demands that weigh us down and find the ease we crave in our families. Whether you’re navigating neurodivergence, challenging behaviors, or simply the highs and lows of life, this show offers honest conversations, practical insights, and a whole lot of compassion. Let's thrive, even when it feels like life is on level 12 hard.
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Helping sensory-sensitive kids thrive
1w ago00:26:37Tap to summarizeWhen we think about demands, we often think about the obvious ones: brush your teeth, sit at the table, get dressed, go to school. But what about the demands we can't see? In this conversation with pediatric occupational therapist Laura Petix (known online as The OT Butterfly), we explore how sensory experiences place demands on the nervous system—and why understanding those demands can completely change how we support our kids! We talk about: Why sensory tools don't work all the time The difference between accommodations and demands How to observe your child like a scientist Why "good behavior" can actually be a sign of distress The hidden costs of lights, sounds, textures, and environments The concept of a "nervous system budget" Why sensory sensitivity increases during burnout How to support kids even when you don't fully understand their experience This episode is a powerful reminder that our kid's behaviors aren't a "problem." They're showing us what the kid is carrying, often unseen, and giving us important clues of what it looks like to support them into thriving. ABOUT LAURA: Laura Petix is a Filipino American, neurodivergent pediatric occupational therapist, author, and nationally recognized voice in sensory processing and nervous system–informed behavior support. She is the founder of The OT Butterfly, a leading education platform trusted by hundreds of thousands of parents, educators, and clinicians for translating neuroscience into practical, real-world strategies. With a background spanning clinical practice, research, and large-scale digital education, Laura is known for making complex sensory science accessible, affirming, and actionable. You can find her kids book, podcast, and all her helpful resources at www.theotbutterfly.com. ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free! Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward! Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom Follow us on social for updates on the podcast, blog, and more! Instagram Facebook Pinterest The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. We hope you enjoyed this episode and would be honored if you left us a review which helps us reach more parents just like you!
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Becoming a self-healer
3w ago00:28:32Tap to summarizeIn this deeply personal conversation, I sit down with Carolina Ramirez to explore what happens when parenting stops being a journey of “fixing” our children and becomes an invitation to heal ourselves. Carolina shares her experience as a Latina therapist, neurodivergent mother, and spiritual guide. Together, we talk about intuition, surrender, masking, productivity culture, systemic oppression, and the transformative power of meeting our children’s needs without shame or fear. This episode is about reclaiming your inner voice, trusting your child, and discovering that often healing is about returning home to yourself. JOIN THE MASTERMIND! (enrollment ends 6/12/26) Additional Resources: Find Carolina's programs and work with her Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free! Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward! Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom Follow us on social for updates on the podcast, blog, and more! Instagram Facebook Pinterest The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. We hope you enjoyed this episode and would be honored if you left us a review which helps us reach more parents just like you! TRANSCRIPT: Becoming a Self-Healer — Transcript In today’s episode, I’m talking with Carolina Ramirez. Carolina is a spiritual therapist, coach, and guide for women and mothers doing deep inner healing work and reconnecting with their truth. She is especially passionate about supporting Latina women and women of color in reclaiming their power, breaking intergenerational cycles, and mothering themselves and their children with intention. I know many of you are going to recognize pieces of your own story in this conversation. I felt deeply witnessed and inspired by Carolina’s honesty, wisdom, and vulnerability. And while we’re talking about this deep work, I also want to let you know that enrollment is opening for the next round of my Restore Your Soul Mastermind. This is for those of you who feel burned out, exhausted, and stretched thin by parenting—those moments where you wonder, “What about me? What about my needs? What about the deep rumblings inside of me?” It’s called Restore Your Soul for a reason. We go deep into what makes you feel alive, connected, grounded, and vibrant in this world. To me, that is soul work. It’s a six-month intensive with regular group meetings, deep community support, and a virtual retreat weekend where you can nurture yourself and reconnect with who you are. I absolutely love leading these groups, and I would love to have you there if it feels aligned. You can find more information in the show notes. All right—let’s get into my conversation with Carolina. Amanda:I’m really eager to hear more about your journey—especially your parenting journey. You’ve shared before that there was a time when your primary question was, “How do I fix this?” And then something shifted, and you began asking, “How is this affecting me? What expectations am I carrying about myself and my child?” I want to go back to that turning point because so many parents get stuck in fix-it mode. Can you share more about what led you there? Carolina:I think there was this huge dissonance between what I thought autism and ADHD meant and the reality of my child. Coming from my background as a therapist, I had worked with autistic children before, many with high support needs, and so when I was told my son was autistic, I immediately pictured this life of suffering and limitation. I hate to say that, but that was the image I had absorbed from media, from society, from fear-based narratives. I was terrified. So I did what so many loving parents do: I followed the experts. I threw myself into therapies and interventions and over-functioning. I thought if I just did enough, worked hard enough, fixed enough, then everything would get better. But I became completely depleted. And the more I pushed, the worse things got. My son was still dysregulated. He was still melting down. Nothing we were doing was actually helping him thrive. Eventually I had this moment where I realized: maybe the experts aren’t right about my child. Maybe I’m looking at him through a deficit lens. And maybe what he actually needs is the opposite of more pressure. That realization changed everything. I started listening to my intuition, and honestly, my intuition had been trying to tell me all along: this is not the way. Amanda:Absolutely. When I think about my own “high-demand Amanda” phase, it came from the same place—fear, pressure, trying to meet all these expectations about what a good parent should do. What changes when we stop trying to fix our kids and instead turn inward with curiosity? Carolina:It’s empowering. When we become curious instead of controlling, we begin trusting ourselves again. We start realizing that we actually know our children deeply. We are attuned to them in ways no expert can ever fully be. I truly believe our children come into our lives for a reason. There’s a spiritual connection there. And when I stopped forcing my agenda onto my son and started simply being with him—meeting him where he was—I saw him soften. I saw him become calmer, happier, more himself. He wasn’t necessarily becoming what society expected him to be, but he was thriving. And honestly? He became my greatest teacher. He taught me surrender. He taught me authenticity. He taught me that maybe the point of life isn’t productivity or perfection. Maybe it’s learning how to truly be. Amanda:You talk so beautifully about intuition and reconnecting to ourselves. What disconnects us from that inner knowing in the first place? Carolina:So much of it starts in childhood. I grew up in an immigrant family where survival and achievement were everything. There was trauma, poverty, chaos—and I learned very early that being “good” and “perfect” was how I stayed safe. I became the overachiever. The productive one. The responsible one. But in the process, I lost touch with myself. And I think so many of us experience that. We receive messages from family, culture, school, capitalism, ableism—all telling us our value comes from productivity and performance. We forget that our worth exists simply because we are. That disconnects us from our intuition. From our soul. Amanda:What did it look like to rediscover yourself while actively parenting through really hard situations? Carolina:Honestly? It was messy. I really believe parenting initiates us. All of the challenges—school struggles, aggression, burnout, fear—they become invitations. They crack us open. They force us to ask deeper questions about who we are and what actually matters. For me, the hardest moments became turning points. My son was being labeled negatively at school from a very young age. His nervous system distress was being interpreted as intentional bad behavior. We were being rejected by systems over and over again. And yes—it hurt deeply. I cried many nights. But eventually I realized: maybe this path isn’t failing. Maybe it’s redirecting me. Maybe my soul is asking for something different. That perspective changed everything for me. Instead of asking, “How do I get back to the life I thought I was supposed to have?” I started asking, “How do I radically accept what is in front of me?” And through meeting my son’s needs, I started meeting myself again. That’s what parenting h...
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Teens in distress
Apr 1300:28:21Tap to summarizeIn this episode, I’m talking with author and therapist Katie May about something so many parents are facing—and so few feel equipped to handle: what to do when your teen is engaging in self-destructive or self-harming behaviors. Because everything in us wants to stop it. Fix it. Control it. And yet, the strategies we’ve been taught—punishment, consequences, taking things away—often make things worse. Katie helps us understand what’s actually going on underneath these behaviors, why teens turn to them in the first place, and what they really need from us in those moments. We talk about how to stay connected even when you’re scared, how to create safety without control, and how to show up in a way that supports real healing—not just behavior change. If you’re parenting a teen who is struggling, this conversation will give you a different lens—and a place to start. CHECK OUT OUR UPCOMING BURNOUT COURSE ABOUT KATIE Katie K. May is a licensed therapist, author, speaker, and group practice owner. She founded Creative Healing, a multi-location teen support center in the Philadelphia area, and wrote the #1 Amazon best-seller You’re On Fire, It’s Fine. With lived experience as a teen who turned to self-harm, Katie is one of only 11 Linehan Board Certified DBT Clinicians in Pennsylvania, the gold standard treatment for self-harm and suicidal behaviors. She equips parents and clinicians with practical, trauma-informed tools to decode behavior as survival and create lasting change. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/creativehealingphilly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/creative_healing Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katiekmay Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katiekmay Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@teensupportcenter
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Mailbag: Back to Basics with Low Demand
Feb 900:23:14Tap to summarizeIn this episode, I’m answering a listener question I hear all the time: What does low demand actually look like? I walk through the foundations of low demand parenting by breaking it down into a clear, practical process—using real-life examples to show how we identify what’s too hard, drop demands that aren’t doable, and increase accommodations in ways that actually bring relief. I explain how low demand isn’t about “giving up” or being permissive, but about attuning to capacity—our kids’ and our own—and responding with intention instead of force. I also introduce the six-step low demand process, unpack how demands work like a layer cake (surface demand → expectation → adult need), and share how learning to truly listen to our kids’ communication changes everything. If you’ve ever felt confused, overwhelmed, or unsure whether you’re “doing low demand right,” this episode is meant to give you clarity, structure, and reassurance that there is a path through this.
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Meeting our own needs
Dec 2900:28:31Tap to summarizeWhat if the hardest part of low demand parenting isn’t your child’s needs — but what their needs bring up in you? In this solo episode, we will explore the deep inner work beneath low demand parenting: how many of us were taught to suppress our needs, feel ashamed of them, or believe they hurt other people…and how those old messages get activated when we’re raising kids with big needs of their own. This episode unpacks why so many parents feel burned out, resentful, or stuck in a painful “it’s me or it’s my kids” mindset, and offers a different framework: your needs and your child’s needs are not in competition. They are deeply interconnected. I share mindset shifts, lived examples, and practical steps for rebuilding a compassionate relationship with your own needs — without abandoning your child, without self-sacrifice, and without shame. This episode is especially for all my beloved fellow parents who feel exhausted, overwhelmed, or quietly resentful. I hope that this episode helps you imagine a world where both you and your kids can be needy, sensitive, and deeply connected, all at once. Additional Resources: The Low Demand Reset - your gentle reflective guide to the new year Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free! Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward! Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom Follow us on social for updates on the podcast, blog, and more! Instagram Facebook Pinterest The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. We hope you enjoyed this episode and would be honored if you left us a review which helps us reach more parents just like you!
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Throw Out the Manual: Rewriting Fatherhood for a PDA Kid
Nov 1700:25:15Tap to summarizeIn this episode, I sit down with my friend and neighbor Jeff Parrott to talk about parenting a PDA, pressure-sensitive child while letting go of the “typical” parenting manual. Jeff shares their family’s pivot from high academic expectations to unschooling, how discovering PDA reframed everything, and why consent became the key non-negotiable in their parenting. He walks me through his family’s practical, proactive demand-drops (like rethinking laundry and mealtimes), handling criticism as a father, and the affirmation that anchors him: “connection over correction.” If you’ve ever wondered how to live out your low demand beliefs when your identity is tied to achievement, this conversation is a powerful roadmap. About Jeff: Jeff Parrott is a proud father and husband in a neurodiverse family and is committed to learning from his lived experience practicing Low Demand. With a focus on personal growth, he is committed to the appreciation, understanding, and support of neurodiversity, sensory sensitivities, Pervasive Drive for Autonomy (PDA), and Low Demand. Jeff has B.E. degrees in engineering (Biomedical and Electrical) and a Ph.D. in Biomedical Sciences (Women’s Health and Reproductive Endocrinology) and has much experience in academic and pharmaceutical development laboratories. A persistent problem solver, he strives to find everyday solutions that work for his beautiful, developing, gifted family. In this space, he identifies with the username @JeffAugmen. “Augmen” is a Latin for “growth. Mentions in this episode: Occupational therapist Jenna Meehan, of Be Me OT in Durham, NC: https://www.bemeot.com/ PDA framing; “pressure-sensitive kids” (Dr. Naomi Fisher, reference by Jeff) Additional Resources: Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free! Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward! Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom Follow us on social for updates on the podcast, blog, and more! Instagram Facebook Pinterest The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. We hope you enjoyed this episode and would be honored if you left us a review which helps us reach more parents just like you!
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Low Demand - But Make It Structured
Nov 1000:27:20Tap to summarizeIn this episode, I sit down with writer and disabled parent Jessica Slice about what it looks like to practice low demand parenting… and also not. Jessica shares how parenting her autistic daughter showed her that “endless freedom” actually made her child more anxious — and that loving, predictable structure was the real low demand move for their family. We talk about how disability culture dismantles shame, why some kids panic in the face of too many choices, how to build rules that are genuinely child-centered, and why no one on the internet gets to tell you whether you’re “doing low demand right.” This conversation is a permission slip for families who need containers, timers, and posted rules on the wall, not because you’re trying to control your kid, but because that’s what actually lowers demands in your unique family culture. In this episode we talk about: Why “low demand” can’t be one-size-fits-all How Jessica realized unlimited choice was actually the demand for her autistic daughter The family’s TV setup: timers, platform limits, and why it calms her kid Using rules to reduce suffering, not to control behavior Parenting inside disability culture — naming needs without shame The difference between “parent-imposed rules” and “kid-centered structure” Letting go of performing “good parenting” for outsiders Why no one can look from the outside and decide whether what you’re doing is “low demand” My Guest:Jessica Slice is the Toronto author of four books about disability and has written for the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal, the Atlantic, the Guardian, The Globe & Mail, LitHub, Alice Wong’s bestselling Disability Visibility, Slate, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and more. She’s also been featured in Vogue, The New Yorker, PBS, NPR, The Cut, the BBC, and more. She lives with her husband, two kids, and two dogs. https://www.jessicaslice.com/ https://bookshop.org/shop/jessicaslice https://jessicaslice.substack.com/ Additional Resources: Get the customized coaching you desire and deserve with my wonderful Low Demand Coaching Team! Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free! Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward! Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom Follow us on social for updates on the podcast, blog, and more! Instagram Facebook Pinterest The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. We hope you enjoyed this episode and would be honored if you left us a review which helps us reach more parents just like you!
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Listening Deeply To Our Kids
Oct 2700:28:52Tap to summarizeIn this solo episode, I get to dive into one of the most radical, healing, and countercultural practices in Low Demand Parenting: listening deeply to our kids. As the third step in the six-step Low Demand Method, listening is the heart of it all—the bridge between understanding and letting go. Together we will explore how to listen when our kids won’t answer a single question, when what they say triggers us, and when their truth doesn’t match what we wanted to hear. I share real-life stories, practical tools (like “bark if you love cereal!”), and deep reflections on the power of curiosity, differentiation, and radical humility. This episode will help you release the pressure to “get it right,” and instead, open your ears—and your heart—to what your child is really communicating. Additional Resources: Low Demand Coaching with our incredible team. Receive support and compassion; get un-stuck with practical help; find someone to talk to who fully gets it. Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free! Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward! Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom Follow us on social for updates on the podcast, blog, and more! Instagram Facebook Pinterest The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. We hope you enjoyed this episode and would be honored if you left us a review which helps us reach more parents just like you!
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Parenting at the Intersections
Oct 2000:24:32Tap to summarizeWhat happens when parenting meets the deep work of liberation? In this episode, I talk with Jaya Ramesh and Priya Saaral, authors of Parenting at the Intersections, about raising neurodivergent children of color, unlearning oppressive systems, and redefining what it means to love our kids exactly as they are. Together, they explore how intersectionality shapes parenting, why “expert culture” often misses the mark, and how resistance, both ours and our children’s, is a form of love. This is a tender, eye-opening conversation about healing generational wounds, honoring ancestral wisdom, and raising children who belong without apology. About my Guests Priya Saaral, LICSW, RPT-S is a proud mama, play therapist and parenting coach specializing in the emotional wellbeing of neurodivergent children and parents by helping them reconnect to their playful spirit amidst personal and structural adversity. She is a late-identified neurodivergent person with caste privilege and a first generation immigrant settler from India and Singapore, settled on Duwamish land (Seattle). Jaya Ramesh, LMHC is psychotherapist in private practice, specializing in supporting BIPOC and neurodivergent individuals and couples in having more authentic relationships. She also runs a DEI consultancy supporting communities and organizations in creating more anti-racist spaces. She identifies as a caste-privileged Indian-American who is neurodivergent. She is married, raising two kids and an adorable dog and lives on the unceded lands of Duwamish (colonially known as Seattle). Read "Parenting at the Intersections" Jaya Ramesh Counseling Priya Saaral - Play Therapy and Parent Coaching Additional Resources Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free! Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward! Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom Follow us on social for updates on the podcast, blog, and more! Instagram Facebook Pinterest The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. We hope you enjoyed this episode and would be honored if you left us a review which helps us reach more parents just like you!
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Low Demand in a Blended Family
Oct 1300:27:38Tap to summarizeIn this raw, tender conversation, Chris and Jasmine open up about navigating a “big blended family crisis,” discovering PDA, and rebuilding connection in a stepfamily with three kids. They share the pressure cooker of custody battles, school expectations, aggression at home, and the moment low-demand and CPS (Ross Greene) reframed everything around autonomy and safety. We talk deconditioning from “good parent” scripts, stepmom complexity, marriage repair, and how Chris’s autistic burnout changed the pace of their whole family. It’s honest, nuanced, and deeply human. 📌 Content note: brief mention of a child’s disclosure of self-harm early in the story. Guest Bio Ten years married, Chris and Jasmine are an interracial couple raising three PDA kids aged 14,6 and 4 in Goolwa Beach, South Australia. They navigated an intense blended family crisis with intense child behaviors, catalysing their conscious parenting journey before discovering PDA. Chris is an entrepreneur and a coach who helps people reprogram their reality. Jasmine is the author of Behind That Shiny Resume. She supports stepmoms navigating complex family dynamics as well as neurodiverse couples. Follow their journey at @unschooling.pda on Instagram Find stepmum support at Linktr.ee/stepmumcoach Additional Resources Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free! Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward! Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom Follow us on social for updates on the podcast, blog, and more! Instagram Facebook Pinterest The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. We hope you enjoyed this episode and would be honored if you left us a review which helps us reach more parents just like you!
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