LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City / Episode 16: Bathing BBs

Summary

Episode Summary: LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City / Episode 16: Bathing BBs

Release Date: February 5, 2025
Hosts: Natalie Jean and Jackie Zebrowski
Podcast: LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City by The Last Podcast Network

---

Introduction

In Episode 16 of LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City, Natalie Jean and Jackie Zebrowski return to dissect the popular adult science fiction novel series by Sarah J. Maas. This episode, titled "Bathing BBs," offers a comprehensive analysis of the intricate plot developments, character dynamics, and underlying themes within the series. The hosts blend their insights with engaging banter, making the discussion both informative and entertaining for listeners, whether familiar with the series or new to it.

---

Plot Recap

Chapters 52-55: Bryce's Turmoil and Hunt's Struggle

The episode delves into the intense emotions and pivotal events surrounding Bryce Quinlan and Hunt Athalar. Bryce grapples with anger towards her father for withholding advanced technology that could have potentially solved her friend Danica's murder. This frustration propels her through the streets of Old Square, leading to confrontations with Fae guards and escalating tensions with Hunt.

At [10:09], Jackie highlights Bryce's internal conflict:
"Bryce is mad about something her daddy withheld technology for solving Danica's murder."

The narrative progresses as Bryce attempts to navigate her emotions, leading to a significant scene where she confronts her vulnerabilities by inviting Hunt into her home. This invitation marks a turning point in their relationship, blending professional collaboration with personal intimacy.

Chapters 56-59: Emotional Bonds and Forced Duties

As the story unfolds, Hunt faces brutal assignments from Micah that force him into violent confrontations, contrasting sharply with his growing emotional connection to Bryce. The hosts discuss Hunt's internal struggle and his dissociative coping mechanisms, essential for surviving his mandated brutality.

At [36:52], Jackie observes:
"Hunt is being forced into violent assignments, yet his bond with Bryce provides a beacon of hope amidst the chaos."

Bryce, on her part, reveals deep-seated guilt over her past actions and her decision to abandon dancing—a passion linked to her memories with Danica. This abandonment underscores her ongoing struggle with grief and self-worth.

At [39:46], Jackie relates the hosts' personal experiences to Bryce's journey:
"It's self-punishment, which I think we are all very good at."

---

Character Analysis

Bryce Quinlan

Bryce's character is explored in depth, highlighting her resilience and vulnerability. Her experiences with trauma and loss shape her interactions and decisions throughout the series. The hosts commend her strength while acknowledging her internal battles.

At [37:27], Jackie notes:
"Bryce is struggling to move forward from a traumatic event, reflecting her complex emotional landscape."

Hunt Athalar

Hunt's portrayal is multifaceted, depicting him as a tortured soul caught between duty and newfound emotional ties. His relationship with Bryce serves as a catalyst for his character development, revealing layers of loyalty, love, and personal conflict.

At [42:48], Jackie comments:
"Hunt's idea of family is evolving, especially through his interactions with Bryce, indicating deep personal growth."

---

Themes Discussed

Grief and Redemption

The episode underscores themes of grief and the quest for redemption, primarily through Bryce's journey. Her efforts to solve Danica's murder while dealing with personal loss illustrate the intricate balance between seeking justice and healing oneself.

Trust and Vulnerability

The evolving relationship between Bryce and Hunt highlights the importance of trust and vulnerability. Their willingness to lean on each other amidst chaos exemplifies the human (and supernatural) need for connection and support.

Identity and Self-Worth

Both main characters grapple with issues of identity and self-worth. Bryce's abandonment of dancing and Hunt's internalized struggles reflect broader themes of self-discovery and acceptance.

---

Hosts' Personal Insights and Banter

Natalie and Jackie infuse the episode with personal anecdotes and humor, creating a relatable and engaging listening experience. Their discussions often parallel the themes of the novel, adding depth to the analysis.

For instance, at [44:21], Natalie shares:
"I always tell my husband, if you're gonna bring me a pill, make sure it's the right one!"
This light-hearted moment mirrors Bryce's own struggles with trust and vulnerability.

The hosts also discuss their favorite characters from other series, drawing humorous comparisons and highlighting their analytical perspectives.

---

Notable Quotes

1. Bryce's Frustration with Her Father
   "[10:07] Natalie Jean: Damn, right we do."
   Reflecting Bryce's exasperation and determination to uncover the truth.

2. On Self-Punishment
   "[39:46] Jackie Zebrowski: It's self-punishment, which I think we are all very good at."
   Relating personal experiences to Bryce's character development.

3. Hunt's Internal Struggle
   "[42:48] Jackie Zebrowski: Hunt's idea of family is evolving, especially through his interactions with Bryce, indicating deep personal growth."
   Highlighting Hunt's evolving relationship dynamics.

4. On Trust and Vulnerability
   "[37:27] Jackie Zebrowski: She is offering almost in a friendship way, which both of them might need, because they're not people who are, like, okay, really fully."
   Emphasizing the significance of Bryce and Hunt's growing trust.

---

Conclusion

Episode 16 of LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City offers a rich and engaging exploration of Sarah J. Maas's intricate world. Natalie Jean and Jackie Zebrowski adeptly balance plot analysis with personal insights, providing listeners with a nuanced understanding of the characters and themes. Their dynamic discussions not only shed light on the complexities of Bryce and Hunt's relationship but also resonate on a personal level, making the episode a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Stay tuned for the next episode, where Natalie and Jackie will continue their deep dive into the ever-evolving saga of Crescent City.

Transcript

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[Natalie Jean]

Welcome to Crescent City with your hosts, Natalie Jean and Jackie Zabrowski.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I'm sorry.

[T-Mobile Representative]

You're bloody.

[Natalie Jean]

It's hard for us. It's hard living our lives. Living our lives. It's hard for us living our lives. I mean, if you don't want us.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

To talk, maybe make your blood taste less good.

[Natalie Jean]

That'S on you. You know, we're evil because we like to victim blame. If you weren't looking like a tasty snack, maybe I wouldn't eat your face. Ah, stop being so delic. Sorry. That's on you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

This is our podcast about how we hate Fae.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, we hate the Fae. It's gonna be real difficult for us to. To hear anything over my click clacking. I cannot believe your mask.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I cannot breathe.

[Natalie Jean]

But what. Okay, Natalie. But now you're just a beautiful woman in. In a snake suit.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Man, it's hot in there.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, that is. That mask came to play.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It might. It might be meant for a child. It's very tight.

[Natalie Jean]

Ah, that makes a lot of sense. But you know what's not meant for a child? It is these finger claws that I've got on that are difficult to use.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

When I came in, I. I said, oh, are those my claws? Oh, wait, those are backwards. This one's backwards because. And she was like, no, these are mine. And I was like, oh, we're just two grown adult women with claws.

[Natalie Jean]

We have claws. All right. Yeah, we both have separate sets of.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Claws from separate things for separate reasons.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Do you want me to flip this for you?

[Natalie Jean]

No. I feel like I'm about to have to take this one off.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That part. That part goes on the.

[Natalie Jean]

On the other side. But I need to touch the computer at some point, so I wasn't. Let's be real. I wasn't going full hog.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I mean, I don't know. I feel a little bit bad for this knock because it. Your fingers are a little.

[Natalie Jean]

How do I eat some. Somebody just put the humans near my mouth. Could you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

A little elder skelter hand situation. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

And I can't see them all the way to get them all the way off. So, you know. You know.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, God. Oh.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, no. My claws are interlocked with the other claws.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

They really are. Oh, my God.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Should I help or. No, I'm just going to watch your help.

[Natalie Jean]

A woman is strong. Never ask for help. That's what you learn here at Crescent City. Never, ever ask for help. Always have secret plans that nobody knows is going on so that you can never get help with them. Now you looking like a snack over there. Yeah. Okay. Everyone's like, jackie, we all are aware of the fact that you're just wearing your Therian mer chest. But also, with my mer tail, you cannot see it. But I do have my mertail on right now.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She is wearing it for no reason.

[Natalie Jean]

Thank you. Well, yeah. Is it. You know, everybody looks at me and they're like, jackie, you're just like Christian Bale in the Machinist, you know? Yeah. It's like, I've got to have the tail on. I bind you legs. I bind you from being sexy and thick and luscious out there so that I can be a big, mean knock in here.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, sorry.

[Natalie Jean]

Also, I feel like it's not said knock.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I feel like it's like gnocchi, potato and pasta.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, I love gnocchi. Don't get me wrong. I. No, I was talking more about other things, Natalie. All right. It's hard to. It's also hard to pay attention when your face. This is also, I believe, a child's mask for how tight it is.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I can't believe they don't make that for adults.

[Natalie Jean]

Why don't they make lizard dragon half masks for adults?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

They usually. They must, but it's probably more connected to. You have to go to some, like, kink play website, and then it'll be really expensive.

[Natalie Jean]

Exactly. Also, I forgot that this is supposed to have, like, a really Big underbite. And I tried to find fake underbites, in case you were wondering. It's really hard to find.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Really?

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I'm surprised. It doesn't seem like that would be that hard.

[Natalie Jean]

You just gotta go like this.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's like a chin strap, right? Wouldn't you just think like a chin strap?

[Natalie Jean]

You would think. But apparently we need to make this.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I feel like I can make you one. I feel like I can make it.

[Natalie Jean]

Can you make me an underdraw?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Thank you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But for today, you're going to need to stay with an under jaw for the two hours.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh my God. I'd look like a little bulldog, though. And you think she's looking really cute little teeth. It's very cute. Little non veneered teeth. I've been screaming about veneers a lot lately.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You're not, you're not getting them.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm not. I don't want them. I'm saying that like I actually like my. I like, I like that they're not weird and recess. I've got two. My teeth are too small for my face.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

They're not weird little.

[Natalie Jean]

I just feel like they would if all of a sudden I came in with big champas. You'd be like, interesting.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

They fit your face. They're, they're, they're not like, no offense to tiny toothed persons.

[Natalie Jean]

Whoa. Thank you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But they're not.

[Natalie Jean]

We do take offense usually because I do identify within that.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, the community of tiny tooth.

[Natalie Jean]

Yes. I'm a tiny tooth.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay.

[Natalie Jean]

And so we are. You know, I allow it. It is weird when people bring it up though. I don't know if you have anybody out what's listening that has. Has like specific teeth that people bring. Have brought up my small teeth. What many times in my life.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I've never considered your teeth small once ever.

[Natalie Jean]

I think I don't look at people's teeth. Yeah, I said teeth.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I think that you have. I've noticed your teeth always. But they're not small. I don't know what you're. Why people. That. And also why are they talking about. Why are.

[Natalie Jean]

That's really what my. Always what my issue was is that like I would never, I don't think bring up someone's teeth unless they got like the gemstones put on them.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, sure.

[Natalie Jean]

Because then it's fun.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Well, they're like, look at my teeth. My teeth are shiny.

[Natalie Jean]

My teeth are shiny. And then that's kind of fun. And again, I don't know if that's also victim like you put the gem on your teeth. Now I got to look at your teeth.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Well, it's only me victim bleeding. I think if you, like, stuck your.

[Natalie Jean]

Finger in there, man, I'm always. Anytime my mouth is open, better watch out, Natalie. Better watch out.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I don't even have gems on my teeth.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm gonna start sticking my fingers in your mouth. That's.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That's very same mentality that I used to get a lot in the 2000s. I feel like it doesn't happen. Maybe it. Maybe it still does. But, like, when tattoos were a little bit more rare, people would just touch me.

[Narrator]

Oh, God.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And be like, tell me about your tattoo. Just in the bar, like, women just be like, what is wrong with you?

[Natalie Jean]

Not for you to touch. Don't touch me. Just don't do it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No one has said that to me in recent years, but I have a scar on my face above lip. And sometimes people would come up and just be like, tell me about your scar.

[Natalie Jean]

And I'm like, n. Get out my life.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

What a weird introduction.

[Natalie Jean]

So weird. That's such a weird thing to say to a person. But really, everybody, I guess, notices different things. I think that I'm just so wrapped up in my own brain and whatever is screaming inside of there that I'm not looking. I ain't looking at. And I don't see. Look at me colorblind.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Also always just trying to make sure. No, you're always going, stop looking at me.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, oh, what am I painted green in the middle of the week? Stop. And I've got one claw hand. Stop looking at me. Obviously.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Stop looking at my claw.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, my God. Well, I mean, my chest is out and I do want you to stare at how. Ooh, pillowy. My abs are getting green on it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I feel like by the end of this, by the end of this series, you're gonna. That's going to be covered in different colored paints depending on which costume you're using.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm going to be.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, it's going to look like you were at an orgy.

[Natalie Jean]

Yes. Which wouldn't Therian be.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

So you're welcome. You're welcome. And honestly, if a knock walks into my orgy, I would also welcome the knock. Even though they have very long needle like teeth. I'd be like, well, just like, don't French me or anything.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Talking about knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, knock. Oh, I'm gonna sing that as I bang as a knock later on.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I know how you call your genitals Heaven's Door.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. I mean, it's better than Heaven's Gate. I feel like that's a whole other different kind of connotation.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

And you can keep knocking, but I won't let you in. All right, well, that's what the knock is gonna say.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

We need to get back in. We have a lot of chapters to cover today.

[Natalie Jean]

Damn right we do.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Natalie at chapter 52 is where we left off. And it is Bryce being real mad. Real mad about some information that she's just accrued about her daddy withholding technology that could have helped solve Danica's murder.

[Natalie Jean]

Daddy.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Fucking Daddy. Always with the daddy. You know, dads are doing stuff wrong a lot. It seems like in the world.

[Natalie Jean]

I don't know. I don't know if my father ever subscribed to that.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But for those fathers out there who are killing it. Good job.

[Natalie Jean]

Hell yeah. Good for you, daddies. But the daddies that we're dealing with here are not very good.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No. So she is running through the streets of Old Square.

[Natalie Jean]

Daddy, Daddy. Why Daddy, I love him.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, no, she's mad about.

[Natalie Jean]

I know. Danica, I was just thinking about the Tay Swift song. There's a song called But Daddy, I love him. And so randomly I'll just yell, But Daddy, I love him.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Holding Holden McNeely has given you his dise.

[Natalie Jean]

Daddy, I love him.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So the Fae, she's running towards the Fae enclave and she's passing by all these palatial Fae estates. The ever blooming. What just happened? I'm sorry.

[Natalie Jean]

I went to move the mask and I pulled it away from my face and I just slapped my face back in with the mask.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh God.

[Natalie Jean]

And I. It was. I couldn't not emote. I apologize. I just slapped myself in the face with my own mask.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I feel like. Just keep it off. Right.

[Natalie Jean]

I think I need to because it is immediately.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Wow. You know what? You know what you're giving off right now? Statue of Liberty.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh my God. I'll take you caffeinated. I'll take your bitches. That's it. That's all I want from this Statue of Liberty. I am giving Statue of Liberty. Oh my God. But be on a pedestal.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But like sort of like a trans mask one. Like you. You're like. You've. You're. I love it. You're giving off sexy masks. Statue of Liberty.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm a little evil.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Love this. Okay, so we're going through the Five Roses, past all these palaces of the Fae. The ever blooming gardens covering the Fae archives. Building as she passes by. Which will come back all the way to the front gate of her father's grounds. And I gotta say, look, the fae may be Dex, but their part of town. Sounds real nice.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, of course it is.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She demands to be let into past the two guards who are covering the front gates of her father uncle's property. And they unsurprisingly will not let her through and taunt her after she screams at them to retrieve the Autumn King.

[Natalie Jean]

So glad that he also of course Bad Daddy also has to have bad daddy guards that are also going to be in the Bad Daddy spirit. And I don't enjoy it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Moments later, Hunt appears behind find her. And he gets all alpha male and threatens the guards as they call Bryce a quote, half breed skank, like come up with a new insult. Okay.

[Natalie Jean]

At this point, come on, get better.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Bryce realizes that he actually intends to maim these guys despite it being a terrible idea. But before things can escalate, Ruhn also catches up with them and tries to coax Bryce to back down from this. That this is the wrong battle to choose with the Autumn King. Both Bryce and Hunt challenge him. Hunt going to bat for Bryce, suggesting that the Autumn King withholding assistance because remember, he had a more high tech test that he would not authorize.

[Natalie Jean]

Chose not to use a smell of vision.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Something, something. We don't know.

[Natalie Jean]

We don't know.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And Hunt says, well, that could be seen as investigation interference. Bitch.

[Natalie Jean]

Damn.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I said the bitch. He didn't say that part.

[Natalie Jean]

But he could have.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He could have. Ruhn insists to them that the Autumn King was only trying to protect Bryce since she's a member of the Fae Court, which. Are you even buying that yourself, Rune? Because that's obviously not true.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, dude. Sorry. I'm just over here playing with my claws. My claws weren't bending all the way and so I needed to make them look more menacing.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

How are you supposed to play with your slime with those claws?

[Natalie Jean]

Oh my God. I'm gonna get slime all over my claws. All right, I won't play with slime today.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay, so Bryce is also like. Yeah, right. He is not trying to protect me. She tells Rune she knows it's because the Autumn King wants the horn for himself and won't help in general just because he sucks ass.

[Natalie Jean]

Yep.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She tells him to let the Autumn King know he's got a mark on him she'll never forget.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh no.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She might as well have pulled a nest of finger points.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, you got a mock. Although, let's Like, Like, I feel like if it's someone that's not intimidating saying something like that, you're like, all right. It's like, I just imagine like a pug that's able to talk and be like, I've got a mark on you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I'm like, no, you don't.

[Natalie Jean]

You're just a pug. What kind of mark are you gonna put on me? Bug.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

What? Better, like masquerade, though, to look harmless and then their guards go down and underbite.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, you aren't scared of an underbite unless you wanted them. Deep sea fishes.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. What if spiky teeth come out of it?

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. Which is kind of fun. Oh, think of the meats you could eat. That's what I dream of, Natalie. I just dream of having sharper, tougher.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Meats like you want, like a, like a giraffe.

[Natalie Jean]

I feel like they'd have soft, succulent meat.

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[Jackie Zabrowski]

Who would have tough meat?

[Natalie Jean]

I guess like a rhino. Like when we're trying, you know, Hippo. Yeah. Although, oh man, it was so cute. We saw this huge hippo skull and Jeff just went over to it and he was just like. He's like, isn't it so crazy that even with teeth that big they eat only plants? And I was like, that is the cutest little animal fact I've ever fucking heard.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Wait, aren't they super violent?

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, but they only eat plants.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, they just, they like the violence.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. But they. Yeah, but I mean, you know, they're territorial. They're still big, scary animals, but they've got these big flat choppies on them.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I didn't realize they were vegetarians.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Where did you see a hippo skull?

[Natalie Jean]

We're at some sort of taxidermy place and we found some, like, back alley taxidermy spot that, like, he gets it from a guy. And they were selling everything really, really cheap to a point that I was like, I don't know if it's supposed to be this cheap. Wait a second.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That sounds scary.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, it was kind of scary, but, like, it wasn't like big game, you know, it's like bugs.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I mean, the hippo skull.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, there was. Yeah, but they, like, obtained that. It wasn't like, oh, he was like, out. It's not like he's, you know, out killing big game and then bringing back the skull.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Where else did he get a hippo skull?

[Natalie Jean]

I guess a friend of a friend. You got to know a guy, Natalie.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It sounds. Did you go to the meat market? That's what it sounds like.

[Natalie Jean]

I kinda. No, no, it was a really nice, amazing family in this spot that's now attached to a tattoo spot. And I almost just got a tattoo right then and there just because I like the guy so much.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Wow. I feel like I need to talk to you about what you're doing in your personal life.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm fine. I'm going crazy.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay.

[Natalie Jean]

This is what happens. You got nothing to take care of. Then you start getting real weird in your old age.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Take care of a hipposkull, please.

[Natalie Jean]

If I could afford it, where am I going to put hippos? Go, Natalie.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

How much was it?

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, it wasn't for sale.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, it was not for sale. That's a prized possession, Natalie.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, of course.

[Natalie Jean]

Obviously, I know you're big into taxidermy. Everyone knows Natalie the vegetarian. Huge into taxidermy, man.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I don't mind if it's ethically sourced. There's like, really cool taxidermy art and, like, jewelry and stuff on, like, Etsy and all that.

[Natalie Jean]

And we get a lot of vintage taxidermy. That is specifically what my husband is into, which is like, it's also like, he likes to restore parts of it and stuff like that. So it's not. Again, we're not big game hunters, people.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You don't.

[Natalie Jean]

How cute would I look out there on the veldt with my musket?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No.

[Natalie Jean]

Being like, oh, big lions.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I think you'd look cute in a lot of places, but not on the prairie.

[Natalie Jean]

All right, fine, Whatever. Fine. I won't become a big game hunter, Natalie. I'm not even good at the big game. Like big buck hunter, the game at the bar. Like even that. I'm like, ah, ah, ah. Like, could you imagine? No.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I would think it was a terrible idea if you started doing that.

[Natalie Jean]

I just think it's nice for people to learn new things and who knows what's going to be next? I know we're currently learning stained glass, but what if next is big game hunting?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Ruhn tries to apologize for Danika, but Bryce tells him to never say her name again.

[Natalie Jean]

Whoa.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Heat you. Then she runs away into the night. We cut over to Bryce at a bar and she's ordered a drink. The first drink, apparently in two years, because it's a grown up drink. This is a whiskey bar called Lathe Leith and it sounds pretty nice by the description. It's like a very classy sounding whiskey bar that I would absolutely go to.

[Natalie Jean]

Yes. I wouldn't want to be drinking any of the whiskey at said bar, but it does sound like a really great place.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I would. She texts Juniper to invite her out, but doesn't hear back. She's taken her first sip of whiskey in those two years when Hunt appears and hands her a bottle of purple liquid. Turns out it's a tonic from the med witch to help her leg.

[Natalie Jean]

Aw.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

They talk about what just happened and Bryce is being evasive even while Hunt is gently trying to coax her into talking about what just occurred. Just then, as this is about to start, she gets a sort of dismissive text from Juniper and it seems to set her off. Weren't you going to tell me your heartbreaking story about your amazing girlfriend? What would she think about the way you manhandled me and practically devoured my neck the other night?

[Natalie Jean]

She regretted the words the moment they were out. For so many reasons, she regretted them, the least of which being that she hadn't been able to stop thinking about that moment of insanity on the roof when his mouth had been on her neck and she'd started to completely unwrap level.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Well, she's lashing out.

[Natalie Jean]

It sounds like she's having a lash out.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

This causes Hun to stop in his tracks.

[Natalie Jean]

This is also. I feel like it triggers me in the way that Nesta used to trigger me of things like that when it's like when you just like blast off and say something or do something because, like, I'm having too many feelings and I cannot deal with that. Right now. So I'm just gonna burn it all to the ground.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Pushing you away, pushing you away Pushing.

[Natalie Jean]

You in the ground. And, man, it is. Is just seeing certain things like this. I'm just like, oh, girl. Oh, I feel you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She immediately regrets the words coming out of her mouth, especially after he stops and stares at her. Basically stares her down and then tells her he's going home. And he drops another bottle, telling her to finish the other part of the tonic in 30 minutes. We cut over to Hunt's POV a few hours later, and he's sitting on the couch watching Sunball. He thinks about how he had to get out of that bar because of his temper, and he sent Naomi over there to watch over Bryce. And he kind of just wanted to work through his anger that he felt at Bryce's taunt. It seems to have affected him not only because she brought up Shahar, but because he's realized he hasn't thought about Shahar at all.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, man.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Only Bryce, especially in the shower.

[Natalie Jean]

That's okay, babe. You're allowed to move on.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's a little bit like he's not ready to acknowledge that. And she, I think, also is. Like, she knew that he would be thinking like that, I think, because she also is just like, what is this? Like, what are we doing? You know?

[Natalie Jean]

But, like, you were still in love. Like, I thought this was, like, not applicable to this situation. Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So he's sitting there on the couch, and Bryce walks in. This is a few hours after the bar. They acknowledge each other silently. Bryce looking bashful, and he's noticed that she's brought bags in with her and is now unloading groceries. As she begins what seems to be piling necessities for cooking onto the counter, they begin talking. He gets up from the couch and walks towards the kitchen, but she tells him to watch his game, that she's making an apology meal for him. She explains that she actually left right after him, suggesting that she barely drank anything. She also explains that she had run over to a storage unit where she had kept a bunch of Danica's things because she wanted to take some of the clothes from it that the police hadn't so that they could be tested. So she basically didn't really get drunk after he left. She, like, went off and did some other stuff.

[Natalie Jean]

No, she had, like, really, like, internal struggles instead. By herself?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. He eyes her cooking skills, which seem to be challenged, much like mine.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, you mean like a hot tight is not always the best at cooking that mega. Oh, is that Not. I thought dancers were known for their cooking skills.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I mean, some dancers are, I'm sure.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm sorry, you're right. I shouldn't say. I'm not saying all dancers can't cook.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I just. Yeah. I've just never. I've never had a knack for it. I also eat like a toddler, so that could be part of the problem.

[Natalie Jean]

No, you eat little bits all the time. And isn't that how we're supposed to eat?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, but probably not like, microwave nachos.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, but what I love is that you're so down and you can be sated with so little. And I. That's just so not me. Like, even if I'm by myself, I have to make myself a full meal.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That's nice.

[Natalie Jean]

That's.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That's technically much healthier.

[Natalie Jean]

Like, girl dinner memes. And I'm like, I see what you're saying, but I would ne. I don't live that life.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I live that life too much. But it's what I like.

[Natalie Jean]

I think it's nice.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. I'm a bit of a caribou.

[Natalie Jean]

You're such a Carrie. You're such a carry. She's such a man.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Man. I've rewatched that show enough times, being like, man, she's an awful person.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, they all are.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She's really like a human being.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, they. They're definitely all wrapped up in their own brains. But again, isn't that so easy to do when you live in New York?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yes, but.

[Natalie Jean]

Or la.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Also, you can go through New York without, like, having an affair with your stupid, shitty ex while he's married to, like, a woman who doesn't deserve it.

[Natalie Jean]

We've all made bad choices, Natalie.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I don't know. She deserves Big because Big sucks, too.

[Natalie Jean]

Damn. Slamming it down.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I'm talking about the original. I have not watched the new series at all. I'm talking about the original one.

[Natalie Jean]

No, I understand. And I'm just. I think I'm scared of re. Watching it, because forever while watching it, of course, I was always like, I'm a Samantha. I'm a Samantha. But now I'm like, oh, God, am I Charlotte? Have I become a Charlotte? As close to a. I say, being painted green with a merman's chest on. Right now, I think you're a bit of a Charlotte.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I mean, maybe comparable to your past. I don't know if I would call you a Charlotte.

[Natalie Jean]

All right.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I don't know if I call you, like, Wasp. Must be.

[Natalie Jean]

Thank you. Thank you. Oh, really? Not with how I live my. My life, my maximalist lifestyle, My goth. Maximalist. Yeah, I guess it's not a lot like how she lives.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She sat there in her green mask and wig and wondered, am I now a Charlotte?

[Natalie Jean]

Okay, so thank you for going against that so heavily because, like, even if you had gone with it, I'd be like, oh, my God, I am. So thank you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I can only be honest, but thank you. So she is, again, not skilled in the kitchen. But he listens to her speak as she begins cutting up vegetables and lighting the stove, preparing this meal. She reveals that she felt like she was floundering even before everything happened with the devil. So this is this kind of like, I'm opening myself up because I was really rude to you Do.

[Natalie Jean]

She's got to do it every once in a while.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That she felt like she was watching her friends grow into their lives and careers and that she felt like she didn't have a plan. I can definitely relate to watching your friends outpace you in your 20s. Oh, feeling like a loser?

[Natalie Jean]

Yes. Honestly, Same. In your 30s?Same. Does it keep happening? I don't know if it keeps happening. In your 40s or if this is something that's just a forever thing. I don't know.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Well, what I wish I could tell my younger self and other people is that life is not a race.

[Natalie Jean]

Stop comparing yourself. I know we have to say it to ourselves every fucking day. Stop. We all have to stop comparing ourselves and our life experiences to other people.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And also sometimes it's gonna feel like you've pulled ahead of maybe a friend that you have, and then maybe like, they pull ahead and you feel like you're stagnant and like, then it just changes over and over. Because it's not a race. It's like a cross country jaunt.

[Natalie Jean]

I like this. And we should be happy for each other and supporting each other no matter what. What?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's the end. In the end, it's the journey, man.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, man. In the end, nothing else matters. I tried so hard and got so far, but in the air, it doesn't even matter.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You're being a bit of a Charlotte right now.

[Natalie Jean]

Sorry, I. Now that I know I'm Charlotte and a little bit of a. I also looked at myself in the screen and realized I feel like I'm doing a Kermit the Frog. Cosplaying as the crow is what I'm giving.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, you do have crow lip. A little bit.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm giving a little bit of crow. And I think that this Is now. I can't unsee it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Imagine a Sex in the City reboot with Muppets.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, my God. I would watch it, please. Our generation, that's the end. Just like that. That we create.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That's the one that we deserve.

[Natalie Jean]

That's what we need. Well, now I immediately, I'm like, okay, well, who's who? Because Fozzie, I guess, is a Samantha. That's my. That was my first out the gate.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Fozzie. Steve.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, God. Fozzie is Steve. Then who's Miranda?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Miranda is Miranda.

[Natalie Jean]

Is Miranda. Miranda. Every time I hear like a. Like a montage of him saying Miranda. This stupid mouth.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, no, I like Steve.

[Natalie Jean]

You know what? I'm gonna say it. Fifteen years ago, I was like, oh, I love Steve. You gotta be with Steve. And then watching it again, I'm like, maybe you don't want to be with Steve.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Why you. He's just annoying to you.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. I feel like Miranda's better than Steve.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I mean, yeah, but like, she's also a pain in the ass. So kind of. She's lucky too, in the same way. Because she's like, real mean.

[Natalie Jean]

I know she's real mean. Sorry, I never was.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I did not find a single man on that show sexually attractive, personally.

[Natalie Jean]

But Aiden, he's all right to me. Always an Aiden.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You know, he's handsome and everything, but he's too much of a freak wedding. I know, but he's like kind of.

[Natalie Jean]

A. Yeah, but he's an artist.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Be like, I don't like guys who will, like, just be. Take bad behavior. And Carrie was again, Carrie was a dick to him. All right, this is not a sexy podcast.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

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[Jackie Zabrowski]

So.

[Natalie Jean]

Neither one of your. You're not a carry. I'm out of Charlotte. Okay.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, definitely not. He as she. He's. She's revealing these things about herself. He starts to kind of broach the dancing aspect of her life, and he asks whether she ever tried to pursue that professionally since she felt like she was, like, sort of utterless when she was with her friends in her 20s. And he knew this because her brother. Cousin had mentioned it to him once, not because Bryce was talking about it. And Bryce tells him she was rejected by a lot of dance companies for having curves. And man, is that also relatable.

[Natalie Jean]

Ridiculous.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She tells him that she was told her, quote, boobs were too big and her ass could use an aerial port landing pad. Your ass is perfect.

[Natalie Jean]

The words slipped out. He refrained from commenting on just how much he liked the other parts of her, too. How much he wanted to worship them, starting with that ass of hers.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You know, he wants to start with the toes.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh.

[Natalie Jean]

You know, and go all the way up. But it is just one of those things, too. It's like, oh, I'm sorry, you're too. You're too beautiful to be a dancer. Is essentially what you're being told, is that, like, oh, you've just got too much goods to be a dancer.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But that is really what happens. Well, not as dick anymore, but, like, definitely in the 2000s and back, if you had, like, a woman's body, you were like, ew.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, it's why Henry and I couldn't get into the BFA program and not because we were luscious. Well, I guess it was because we were luscious because we were straight up told we were too fat. That and that we were never gonna play leads. So I also would.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Couldn't get into my BFA dance program again because of things like that. And I was starving myself actively.

[Natalie Jean]

Ridiculous what they put people through. But also, you need character actors. You dumb.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But also, if you don't get into a program in college, it doesn't mean.

[Natalie Jean]

It doesn't mean anything. Let it burn you into doing what else. Whatever else you want to do.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. Succeed out of spite. That's What I do. She blushes at this, blurting that he's just done, which is very, very cute, because she's not even thinking about stuff like that. And he just couldn't help himself. And she admits that she tried to look for other jobs, but hasn't really found a place for herself. Hunt admits that he is still figuring it out at the age of 233. Bryce apologizes for making the statement about Shaharch, which Hunt brushes off. He wasn't really upset at her in the first place. And then Bryce opens up a part of her backstory, almost like a non.

[Natalie Jean]

Sequitur, almost sort of like, yeah, I will say as a non sequitur, I will be taking these off, because weirdly enough, which I don't know if you knew this in wearing them last time, they make your fingers sweat.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, they don't breathe.

[Natalie Jean]

My fingers are weird. I'm like, are my fit. I didn't even know my fingers could sweat like that. So take these off for now, guys.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She decides to motion to the picture of Bryce and Danica in his room, the one he looked at in a previous chapter, the one with their backs to the camera. And she launches into the events of the day of that picture being taken. She tells him that she was investigating an illegal animal trade group with Danika. Danika had wanted to rescue these animals that she had figured out while researching for her thesis for college. And she found this group and realized these animals were being, like, traded in this really inhumane way.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, my God. It's just like, wicked. And I didn't even realize it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No one in the Ox would help her, so she and Bryce decided to deal with it themselves. Bryce calls the traffickers ass poles. It ends in a motorcycle chase. So these two college age girls are chasing down these very dangerous animal traffickers, and they get into a motorcycle chase. And then there's a big crash. In the crash, Bryce's arm gets broken in three places and Danica's pelvis fractured. And in this conversation that she's having with Hunt, she admits that she killed people that day, which is a big thing to tell somebody, but, I mean, if anybody would be okay with it, it's probably him.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So she says that she shot the ones who had shot at Danika, and then the police came. Hunt feels like she's not telling the entire story, but doesn't press it. He also thinks about how Danika had been labeled a party girl by the Ox, but she was actually this type of person who couldn't sleep if there was somebody or some innocent thing being harmed. So she risked her life to try to save these animals. Bryce explains it's why she gives people like Briggs a chance.

[Natalie Jean]

It's almost like people contain multitudes or something, just never learn.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She tells him it's hard to move forward. He talks about how there are some of the fallen who have given up and accepted their slave tattoo, suggesting that he hasn't. This is relevant to later in the story, which I just noticed.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, dude.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Fun.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, not fun because we're talking about a slave tattoo, but, like. Like, also fun.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She's saying to him, I have a hard time moving from this time in my life. And he's kind of talking about people struggling in that way. From his perspective, they both ponder the future, and Hunt suggests that they could figure it out in their immortal lives, sort of suggesting, like, together.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, my God. Like, together.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But Bryce counters, well, if she makes the draw.

[Natalie Jean]

Stop.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She admits to him that since Danika was supposed to be her anchor, no one else has felt right to partner with Hunt, offers suggestions of people who could do that with her, but stops short of volunteering himself. I imagine it seems like when you take the drop, it's generally considered, like, an intimate experience.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And maybe he feels like she would reject him if he offered.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, also, I imagine you have to have these. The utmost trust in that person because it is, like, essentially giving them. Like, you're the one that's gonna have to pull me back, and I need to trust you more than I trust anyone. I mean, that's. Even think about that for you in your everyday life. Like, that is a short list of people you would ask to do something like that.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Natalie, I would consider you on that short list.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I feel like I'd be good at. Thank you.

[Natalie Jean]

I think you would be good at it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, I think you would be good at it, too.

[Natalie Jean]

Thank you. No, I'd probably go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. Don't trust me ever. Never trust me. I'm not gonna pull you back. And I think. Or maybe do you want that person just in case? Because they'd be so scared of not pulling you back that they're definitely gonna pull you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, because I think you would. I think even if you felt scared, you would do it. You would do it. You wouldn't just go, like, I don't know. I'm Sorry. Oops.

[Natalie Jean]

Left it. Let it go. Oops. Oh. Nah. Never coming back.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I wonder if you are the anchor and you don't pull them back, if that's a crime. Like, do you go to jail?

[Natalie Jean]

It's gotta be, because then you're just letting them go to their death. Right? There's no way to get them back.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So they both exchanged their regrets to one another about losing their loved ones, saying, I'm sorry you lost your friends. I'm sorry you lost yours. She also reveals in this conversation that she stopped dancing, directly connected losing Danika. So she's not really admitted this at any point so far in the story, but she basically reveals to him. This thing that she loved in her past, she pulled away from, for one, because it connected her to Danika. It reminds her of all of the times they danced in the club together. But she also doesn't want to let herself feel the joy that dancing brings her, like she doesn't deserve it.

[Natalie Jean]

It. It's self punishment, which I think that we are all very good at.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Really good. That is. I mean, it's part of the reason why I think I discuss this in my marriage all the time. That, like, Jeff is like, I know that you're gonna make yourself feel worse about anything that ever happens. Why would I ever try to make you feel guilty about anything? He's like, you've got it all covered.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

And he's right.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's true. She apologizes for unloading all of this on him. He tells her he knows she'll keep going forward. She asks why he thinks that his.

[Natalie Jean]

Feet were silent as he crossed the kitchen. She tipped back her head to hold his stare.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Because you pretend to be irreverent and lazy, but deep down, you don't give up because you know that if you.

[Natalie Jean]

Do, then they win.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So, obviously, this is a very intimate discussion, and he's getting, like, very close to her. It might not even be fully sexual, but this level of vulnerability. City is very intimate.

[Natalie Jean]

Yes. Her eyes warmed further, a blush stealing across her freckled cheeks.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You said home earlier at the bar, he had.

[Natalie Jean]

He'd tried not to think about it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She tells him that if they get through this, if he doesn't want to return to the barracks, that he's welcome to keep his room at her apartment.

[Natalie Jean]

The offer rippled through him, and he couldn't think of a single word beyond thanks. It was all that was necessary, he realized.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So this.

[Natalie Jean]

Because you think about that like, I think plenty of us have had one night stands but having that kind of shock me. I'm not assuming about you, Natalie. I'm just saying for the greater good, but, like, having a conversation like that, that's dangerous. 15 for me, like, the way that I used to hold walls up around my heart and my vulnerability that it would take so long to get to that place to be able to have this kind of conversation. But also, it kind of has been so long for them at this point. Think of the cockblocks. Think of what has happened so far. Like, so much has even happened.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And also, it's like a slightly. Maybe not that unconventional, but for me, in my world, it would be where they are very not. They're not doing physical things. And she didn't even say, like, you can come in my room. She's offering almost in a friendship way, which.

[Natalie Jean]

In a safety way. Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Which both of them might need, which. Because they're not people who are, like, okay, really fully. And, like, have gone through so much. So maybe they're not really able to accept that they might want to do more with each other, but they don't want to lose each other.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, and also think that, like, Hunt's idea of what a family is is so, like, that this is starting that kind of a conversation of, like, even. Just not even friendship, but of someone that you can be vulnerable with, that you can count on, that Hunt has never had.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's true.

[Natalie Jean]

That wasn't just like a. Like a, you know, a soldier that's doing it with him kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She finishes cooking the mush that she's created and hands it to him, almost as if offering him a meal. Interesting. He silently notes it looks kind of nasty, but is humbled by the gesture.

[Natalie Jean]

What? Wait. I feel like. I'm sure we talked about this last time when we were talking about giving a meal. What did you cook for Henry first? Have you ever, like, what. Do you remember the first time you tried? Because I could only imagine Henry being like, she's so beautiful. Beautiful. As she tries to eat the meal of whatever you tried to cook for him.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I think I was very clear at the top that I don't really cook very much. So I don't know that I did make him a meal. I was just like, this is what you get. So let's be kind of like, you got to tell me if this is what you want or not. I'm sorry. I'm not gonna pretend I'm not gonna make a meal for you that I'm not never gonna be able to do. Again. And be like, I'm not selling a lie. Okay.

[Natalie Jean]

No, you're right. There's nothing wrong with being fully yourself. And your husband completely accepts you for who you are.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I make hellofreshes all the time.

[Natalie Jean]

You do. And you can follow those recipes like nobody's business.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

They're not a sponsor to this specific show, so I'm not going to promote them anymore.

[Natalie Jean]

No, we're not promoting them any further. You could think about them, what you will. Now, I also don't know if my husband. I don't know if he's ever cooked me anything, really. He's made me a sandwich a couple times.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That's nice.

[Natalie Jean]

I say, make me a sandwich. Yeah. I put him back. Back in the kitchen.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But he likes it.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, he loves it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Do you remember what the first thing you made was for Jeff?

[Natalie Jean]

The first thing I made was a meat sauce because I wanted to come out the gate. I was like, I want to show him. I remember he lived with a bunch of people out in Riverside, and I had never cooked for any of them. And I was like, I'm gonna do a barn burner of a huge Italian meal that's gonna take me all day to make. And I did. And they like, oh, my God, Jack, you got like, Jeff, you gotta keep this woman. Oh, my God. She, like, came in and cooked for all of us. And I was like, I'll keep doing it, too.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

They're like, she'll continue to cook for us forever. Right. Like, after you guys move out together.

[Natalie Jean]

And then we. Then we eat it. And I would have. I cooked for all of them a lot.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Well, that's very love.

[Natalie Jean]

That's very.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I love. And you also. I know that you love to do it, and that's one of your love languages.

[Natalie Jean]

It is. It is up there. And when I say Lost Boys, I mean Lost Boys. Just the idea of Lost Boys of all gender.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, of course.

[Natalie Jean]

You know, just all of them. Give me a ruio. I'll take care of him.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, I bet not now. Not as a child.

[Natalie Jean]

I wanted to be with child Ruo. Not me. Adult me. I guess I would try and, like, put Robin Williams together and being like, get your together. You've got a family. I guess he would be the one I would be going after.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Or the old Wendy.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, she had a mature woman.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, man, they old her up and they need to hold her up.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Or how about Julia Roberts? She was.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, yeah, Tinkerbell.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

All right, we're getting on. We haven't talked In a few weeks. I feel like this is a problem that we're just.

[Natalie Jean]

I just want to talk to each other and we're not talking about the episode.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

We gotta probably do the show.

[Natalie Jean]

What are we, friends or something?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

We cut to that night. Embraces in bed. Whether she's having a dream in this scene or not isn't entirely clear. But in this scene, Aidas is back, and this time in cat form. She's living through the conversation she had with him back at the Oracle reading when she was 13. The Autumn King's only daughter thrown out like rubbish.

[Natalie Jean]

The cat had either guessed it at the temple all those years ago or followed her home to confirm whose villa she had tried to enter.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He'll kill me if he knows.

[Natalie Jean]

The cat licked a paw, then make the drop. Her eyelids drooped, a final descent towards sleep.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Why?

[Natalie Jean]

The cat angled its head so we can finish this.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I love that ending. It's so mysterious.

[Natalie Jean]

I know. I love it. I love it, I love it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Finish what, Aiden?

[Natalie Jean]

God. As if there's not so many questions already posed in this book.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Chapter 53 begins the next morning, and Hunt makes breakfast as Bryce takes Syrinx on his walk. Bryce tries to brush off the breakfast that Hunt hands her, but he insists, telling her he's not being an alpha hole, he's being a friend, letting her know that he knows she hasn't been eating the past few days.

[Natalie Jean]

Thank you, Hunter.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He also tells her it's okay to be nervous about the testing that's about to happen on the clothes that she retrieved from the storage unit the previous night. The clothes, by the way, were from her room from the murder scene that the police hadn't already taken. So that's got to be kind of upsetting to look at.

[Natalie Jean]

So can I just say. Quick pause. And I don't know if we're supposed to take this from this situation, but I feel like it goes to show the kind of character Hunt is, the fact that he didn't go to her and do the whole, like, I notice you haven't been eating. Do you want to talk about that? You know, like, that he was just like, I'm. I see it. I'm just going to make you something. I'm going to give it to you. Hopefully you eat it. And we're just going to continue on.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And he kind of teases her, you know, and it's just.

[Natalie Jean]

We're just going to do that. And hopefully that works because I think that he's starting to learn what works with Bryce.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

And what doesn't because he cares.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yep, he's trying. Isn't that always novel idea. They're going to run the new tests on these clothes from the murder scene. Begrudgingly, she takes the plate of food from Hunt and sits down to eat, noting that he does seem to be a better cook than her. He tells her it was a skill that he learned in the military. It makes you popular with people. As she eats and he smirks at her, she flips him off and takes pictures of the scene with her phone, though she's scowling. In the selfie that she takes, she notes to herself that she feels later than she has in days. Cut to Hunt with Vic at the lab where he's hand delivered Danika's clothes to her. They're going to test and retest everything with Mimer tech from Declan. If nothing else to soothe Bryce. But Hunt has also created a list of potential demons for Vic to look for in that. That smell vision test or whatever.

[Natalie Jean]

Whatever they're putting it into.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Vic goes pale looking at the list. He says he just wants to make sure, but it's all this. These demons from hell, which is not a good thing in their world. Later that day, Hunt is waiting for the results and texts Bryce, who is at work, that it might take a little time to find out. When he pulls out his phone, he sees that she's changed her contact name to Bryce is a queen. Instead of growling this time, he laughs.

[Natalie Jean]

You always love that cheeky little flirt of someone changing something in your phone.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But he didn't like it the first time. He was like.

[Natalie Jean]

Now you're liking it, ain't you, boy?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That night, Bryce convinces Hunt to watch a trashy reality show that he grumbles about but rapidly gets sucked into.

[Natalie Jean]

Don't they all?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Then sometimes they become more obsessed.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, they do. And I love it. I. There's nothing I love more. And I'm not just saying, like a partner, just anybody, like a roommate, anybody that's around that's like, I'll never watch a reality show. And boy, how they fall. You just got to start talking about what's going on. Especially, man, I am just balls deep in season four of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. And I tell you what, Jeff always has at least one question about the woman that married her own grandfather. You know, we've got to.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

What kind of questions could it possibly.

[Natalie Jean]

You know? Natalie, it's okay. Her dead grandmother asked him to do it, so it's fine. Natalie.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Let me guess. He's super wealthy yeah, no, they just.

[Natalie Jean]

Run their own church. Natalie, it's fine. They run it as husband and wife, granddaughter and grandfather. Well, and this is why he. All of a sudden, he's intrigued.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So they're watching these episodes back to back. So he continues to watch these episodes with her after he's now sucked in. And he's definitely not mad that through the night they went from opposite sides of the couch to touching thighs.

[Natalie Jean]

He might have toyed with her braid. She might have let him.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, my God. Get a room. The next morning, as they head out to Griffin's, Hunt gets a text from Micah to be at his office in 15 minutes. Alone. He tries not to let dread fill him as he agrees and tells Bryce at chapter 54. It's what Hunt has feared. He is here so Micah can threaten him. The false lead about Sabine, the using the fae testing without the Autumn King's authorization, and now being spotted drinking at a bar with Bryce. He mentions that Sandriel has been making generous offers about both he and Bryce, that he's turned her down so far.

[Natalie Jean]

Micah threw a file on the table, then turned back to the window.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Don't make me reconsider Hunt. Ugh. It's another brutal set of orders, of course, to kill and maim. With no firearms used, we cut to Hunt, preparing for this.

[Natalie Jean]

Every moment was careful, deliberate. Every shift of his body as he donned his black battle suit quieted his mind, pulling him farther and farther from himself.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

The brutality of making him do the killings, but forcing the torture aspect.

[Natalie Jean]

So it all has to be hand to hand. Like, it's all gonna. To you, bro. You do it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So he.

[Natalie Jean]

You do it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He just. Basically, when Micah drops this file in front of him, he kind of probably expected it, but he. You know, he goes numb, essentially. And he's kind of describing dissociating as he must always do in order to be able to complete the forced orders of Micah. He gets a text from Bryce asking where he is, but he ignores it. He's not really himself anymore.

[Natalie Jean]

He's a shell man going right from like. Like, I'm just, like, eating dinner and having, like, cozy time. Reality. Can you imagine going from watching reality like, oh, no, I gotta go maim a bunch of people with my hands. Like, let me just watch slc. No, Mary don't need to be married to him. I don't need to be about slc.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He turns his phone over as though he's worried Bryce will somehow see him through the phone and be repulsed as she continues to text only after he's fully dressed and prepared, does he type a short response back?

[Natalie Jean]

I'm good. I'll see you later.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

This, of course, is only going to worry her more. But he doesn't respond to the next text she sends. Instead, he shuts his phone off.

[Natalie Jean]

He was a stain against the brightness, a shadow standing against the sun.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And he takes off into the sky. We cut over to Bryce's POV and she is in a full panic. All morning. She tries to ignore the dread running through her. But by 3 o'clock she hasn't heard from him still and decides to forgo pride and walk to the roof to ask Naomi where he is. Though Naomi won't give her any details. She seems to sense the terror that Bryce is trying to hide and lets her know that he's okay. By 8pm he still hasn't called or returned her text.

[Natalie Jean]

So she decided to hell with it. To hell with caution or looking cool or any of it. Please call me. I'm worried about you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She spends the rest of the evening pacing. It's 11 at night and she decides she's terrified enough that she needs to involve someone she doesn't want to run.

[Natalie Jean]

Picked up on the first ring.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

What's wrong? She tries also.

[Natalie Jean]

That's such a good brother cousin.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I know that.

[Natalie Jean]

Like it's the last person she doesn't want to call. She doesn't want to. And the fact that immediately. Whatever you need, I'm here for you. What? I'm. I'm. I'm around.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He's always been very good to her.

[Natalie Jean]

I know, I know.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She is so filled with panic. She tries to get words out and can't. Ruhn rushes to another room, apparently in his house, away from whatever a party is occurring there that night. She tries her best to sound casual to him over the phone, but he can sense her obvious panic. She says she can't find Hunt. He immediately tries to help her and she feels stupid and embarrassed. She tells him not to worry about coming over to her house as he tells her that he's going to do so. Ruhn tells her he's going to put Flynn and Declan on it. Just at the moment she hears her front door unlocking suddenly appearing in the doorway, dressed fully as the umbra mortis is Hunt. She tells Ruhn, never mind and hangs up. He walks into the room as if in a trance. Even though she's so relieved, she notes with horror that he is covered in blood. Others blood, based on the scents coming from him. She calls his name and though he stops walking for a moment. He doesn't respond and continues back towards his room, frozen in a mix of relief and fear. She looks at this male as if he is a stranger. It's not Hunt, not the one she's come to know. He shuts the door without a word. We cut over to him and his thoughts are hazy.

[Natalie Jean]

My God, I'd lose my mind if Jeff came home like that. Like, what do you need for me, baby? Baby, let me get you in the bath. Baby, Baby, I'm sorry, baby.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I hope that you would have more questions if he came home covered in blood.

[Natalie Jean]

But I mean, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. You never ask. You just wash them off.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He'd be a good mobster's wife.

[Natalie Jean]

I am telling you, Natalie, I was bred to be a mobster.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I know, I know. Born in Queens.

[Natalie Jean]

Someday man Third husband yeah, so we're.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

With Hun's pov and he is in sort of a daze. He tries to tell himself in his thoughts that he came straight back to the apartment because he thought she'd be asleep. But I think he was drawn here, some part of him realizing that he couldn't keep this pain to himself any longer. The fact that they had had these sort of intimate conversations. His body just like took him to the apartment, though he can't stand the way she looked at him in relief, seeing that she'd been waiting up for him to return and then to see the horror on her face when she smelled the blood. It was all too much to handle. He thinks about the three drug lords he had to incapacitate this evening. Micah's directions involved a lot of knives and pain and he himself had also received attacks. But the Amramortis always wins, and he'd listened to them scream for hours. He enters the bathroom and begins the ritual that occurs after every assignment from Micah. He takes his clothes off and sets the shower to boiling level and steps inside.

[Natalie Jean]

The scalding water blasted his skin like acid. He swallowed his screams, his sob, his whimper, and didn't balk from the boiling torrent, didn't do anything as he let it burn everything away.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Cut over to Bryce, who is contemplating what she just saw, thinks about how though Micah has offered Hunt freedom, it was through selling his soul, which really isn't much better than what Sandriel had offered him. She waits for a solid hour for Hun to get out of his shower, but when there isn't any sounds of him finishing up, she decides to knock on the door. When she gets no response, she cracks the door and finds the room filled with steam. The room itself nearly unbearable. She realizes she can't see him in the shower and steps in, suddenly realizes that he's on the ground. Imagining him hurt, she runs into the shower only to be greeted with the impossibly hot. She calls his name again and he doesn't even seem to know she's there.

[Natalie Jean]

She glanced between him and the shower head. His body was healing, the burns healing and then scalding. Healing and scalding. It had to be torturous.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She winces, but reaches into that scalding water and turns the temperature down and then steps in fully clothed. He still doesn't seem to notice her and she realizes that he does this after every assignment. Something in her just. Just tells her that this is something that he always does. She doesn't plan it, but instinctively picks up a bottle of shampoo, tells him gently that she's going to clean him off, if that's okay.

[Natalie Jean]

A slight but terribly clear nod was his only response. Like words were still too hard. Oh, this moment. It's so beautiful. It is such a caring, beautiful, wonderful moment. And this is my problem because, oh, little lusty Jackie. And I'm just like. And then they're. But then we have to look to these moments and how wonderful these moments are of like that he allows her to enter and to see him like this. And this is huge for them.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And it's not as though she's not recognizing that he's a sexual being that she wants to, of course, but this.

[Natalie Jean]

Is not the sexy time.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, but him. Him just like. Like. Like comatose on the floor.

[Natalie Jean]

Shell of a human being or a shell of an angel, I guess.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So he kind of doesn't see her until she finally has rinsed his hair and she tilts his head up and he makes eye contact with her. She tells him that he looks the way she feels every day. As he holds her gaze, she suddenly comes to the realization that he is naked and very hot. But she forces herself to be respectful, of avoiding looking anywhere. Bess left to the marital bed.

[Natalie Jean]

He was just watching her with that raw openness, more intimate than any touch of his lips on her neck. Like he indeed saw everything she was and had been and might yet become.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She blushes a little, telling him that she'll leave the bottom half of him to him him, but informs him that she can't clean his wings unless he stands up somewhat mechanically. He gets up, leaving her face to face with something she has to fight very hard to avoid looking at, though she can see it's a very large something.

[Natalie Jean]

It's gotta be a big old rod if you gotta be wielding all that lightning.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

All right, Charlotte.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, it's an intimate moment, Natalie.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She knows now's not the time, so she stands and gently turns him around. Definitely not noticing the perfect ass that she's noticing.

[Natalie Jean]

Imagine that ass. It's gotta be very strong, especially like, right in front of your face.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But she behaves and begins to delicately wash each of his feathers, which, if they're anything like bat wings. That's a very intimate gesture and allowance. When she finishes, she turns off the water and very demurely, very mindfully, wraps a towel around his waist and pats his wings dry with a second towel. Then leads him to his room. She helps him step into his underwear, and when she can't figure out how the shirt for wings works, she guides him to the bed in just his boxers. So again, being very respectful of everything going on.

[Natalie Jean]

Very proud of you. Very proud of both of you in this situation.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

As she turns the lights off to leave him for sleeping, she decides to stroke his hair from his face and whispers to him that she was so worried about him. He seems to already be sleeping. Realizing she's soaking wet, she turns to leave the room to change.

[Natalie Jean]

But a warm, strong hand gripped her wrist, halted her. She looked back and found Hunt staring at her again.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

What?

[Natalie Jean]

A slight tug on her wrist told her everything. Stay oh, won't you stay with me? I know you thought that we were just playing the song, but that was just me singing it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, it was really good.

[Natalie Jean]

Thank you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She doesn't need. Convinced, she considers getting a change of clothes from her room, but realizes she also needs to stay in this room as much as he needs her. That her fear of losing him earlier is still imprinted in her body. Instead. She grabs one of his shirts and peels her own soaking wet clothes off, tossing them in the attached bathroom. His shirt is so long that she takes her bottoms off too.

[Natalie Jean]

Syrinx had leapt into the bed, curling at the foot, and Hunt had moved over, giving her ample room. Okay, she said again, more to herself. The sheets were warm and smelled of him. Him. Rain kissed cedar. She tried not to breathe it in too obviously as she took up a sitting position against the headboard.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She's slightly shocked when he lays his head on her lap, but doesn't do anything to move it. It's not a sexual come on. It's pure vulnerability, pleading for a lifeline.

[Natalie Jean]

There's something about, too, when you put your head in someone's lap like that when you're like. I feel like that often happens when you're really sick or when you're just like, at this place. Yeah, that. Such a We. I feel like there. That's that kind of thing of holding someone. Like that is such a. Weirdly, no matter what, I feel like it goes back to, like a maternal, paternal kind of thing.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I think even in the book, I don't have it in front of me, but it said something like it was like a child reaching for his mother.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So she reaches down again and strokes his hair from his face. Repeats the motion until his breath evens out and his body rests. We cut over to Hunt's POV in the middle of that night.

[Natalie Jean]

It smelled like paradise. Like home and eternity and, like, exactly where he was meant to be.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay, hon, don't give it away up front.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, my God, he's so smitten. Oh, my God. Boy done fall.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So he wakes up in the middle of that night and realizes Bryce is still in the room, sitting up, asleep.

[Natalie Jean]

Sleep.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He marvels at how she took care of him and doesn't have a memory of any time in the last, you know, couple centuries that anyone had done something like that for him. He gently scoops her up and carries her back to her room, tucking her into her own bed. On his way back to his room, he sees her phone, which has been left out in the living room, light up with texts from Rue, all asking if they're okay. If, like, she found Hunt and all this, and. And he realizes that she had reached out to him and felt glad about it. Hunt goes back to the bed, thinking about the scent of Bryce on his sheets. Chapter 55. Bryce wakes up in her room, having no memory of being moved by Hunt. Does this happen to people over the age of 5?

[Natalie Jean]

5?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Can you just be carried to another room without waking up?

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, I will say I am that bitch that apparently I will, like, be woken up by Jeff and we will have a conversation, and I remember none of it, really, So I. I am the bitch that gets picked up and brought to the bed. And I will never.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay, Good to know.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, I. I am that person.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I feel like my anxiety is so high, like, if somebody was moving me, I'd like karate chop them in the throat.

[Natalie Jean]

Never, Never. You never will. I do also wonder, too, that if it is like that, like, I wonder in my brain that I know it's Jeff, like, the smell of Jeff and Know that it's.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Like if it wasn't him, I think I'd probably hopefully recognize that it wasn't him.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, I mean if it was like in our home. But I love my husband. I don't know if he could carry me up to our bed.

[Natalie Jean]

He could. In fact, I think you should start demanding it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I'll just go limp.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, take me, make me. I mean, I do it sometimes, you know, Sometimes you gotta just. You really gotta rag doll to see how much a person loves you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's true. So she wakes up in her room and she recalls the night's events and slides out of her bed. She wants to make sure Hunt hasn't somehow disappeared in the night. Relieved to find him still asleep, she goes to the living room to find her phone. Rune has been trying to get a hold of her and she feels guilt at their long standing feud. Acknowledging that she knows he's not a bad guy because he's all. He's just sending her text after text, concerned for her all night.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, Showed right the up too. Like, I mean even just over text, but like was there for her.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She wants to thank him, but she can't get herself to admit at this point that she is thankful for him. Him. So instead of responding, she flips over into another text thread. And unfortunately it's also not a fun text thread. Juniper is angry with her. This was the morning that she was supposed to have taken that hard to get into ballet class that Juniper had talked her way into. In fairness to Bryce, I will say Bryce had never said that she would definitely do it. She said she would think about it.

[Natalie Jean]

And she went and did this on her own to be kind of pushy. Yeah. And I understand and I appreciate because I do feel that sometimes times when you see someone that's a good friend in your life and you feel like, oh, you need some help, you need some corralling, which I understand where Juniper's coming from, but also Bryce is kind of dealing with a lot. Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I mean, now she's not even asking her about all of this horrible that's going on. Like Bryce is dealing with like really huge problems and Juniper is seemingly not interested. So I don't know, I'm also, I.

[Natalie Jean]

Imagine Juniper is also angry because a lot's going on in Juniper's life and Bryce isn't asking about it or being interested. Interested in it. So I imagine this is her way of being like, I'm reaching out my hand and you're not showing up.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Right.

[Natalie Jean]

So because Bryce Is not communicating.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, she's not.

[Natalie Jean]

She can't communicate about obviously a lot of these things, but Juniper's. Think about it. Juniper is probably in the dark the most of all these characters between her and Fury. Yeah, like, Juniper doesn't know what the is going on.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And Juniper has been the most responsive to Bryce. Everyone else kind of bailed on her, but Juniper never did. So it's not like she's. It's like one sided that way either. So yeah, I do feel like I see both sides here. But Juniper is pissed and Bryce is also defensive back, which I appreciate. She stood up for herself and said like, can you just tell her I'm dealing with a really big problem with the ox? Like, I'm sorry I never actually told you I was gonna go. But they kind of get like snippy and don't really end the conversation in a good way. And she's having this text argument this whole time. She's kind of starting the day and she's getting the coffee pod going. She's still kind of on her phone arguing with Juniper. As the coffee finishes and she doesn't hear Hunt enter the room.

[Natalie Jean]

She whirled to find Hunt leaning a hip against the marble island. For someone heavily muscled and winged, the angel was stealthy, she had to admit.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She realizes he's gotten dressed and he, as he's gazing at her, looks down and goes, oh, I'm still just wearing his night shirt. Only his shirt.

[Natalie Jean]

You just putting on the coffee. Don't you know, give yourself some self compassion here? All right? You just went up to God and put the coffee on.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I think also she did.

[Natalie Jean]

Oops. Oh. Or my.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, I forgot.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, no. Oh.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He starts towards her and her heart rate goes up. He just passes by, but he makes her toes curl.

[Natalie Jean]

Toes curl. We got a toe.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

We got a toe, girl. As he says that he likes seeing her in his shirt.

[Natalie Jean]

Good Lord.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She starts to make breakfast for them and she hands him a mug of coffee. He looks down at it, and as he reaches for it, he leans in and presses a soft kiss to her cheek, thanking her for what she had done for him the previous night. That's the sounds Bryce's mind makes, because it makes her completely feral.

[Natalie Jean]

Could you imagine that? Of just a slight kiss after all that and just a little kiss on the cheek? I feel like I would be actually physically vibrating.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Well, we're going to save this for the fellas. I think this is our first dude scrabble with erotica.

[Natalie Jean]

We're back. Back.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And of course it is block number three. So they have this scene which you will hear about later on. And after everything that happens during that scene, Bryce and Hunt have to go to the Griffin's Antiques because they need to go do work stuff. And so on the, the way there, they're feeling a little awkward and they decide to keep their distance from one another on this, this walk, as though they're not sure if and when they can trust each other to be around each other right now. And he flies over her, kind of just keeping an eye from the air. Bryce is frightened by the big feelings coming up. For Hunt, the fear of loss is a scary part of love. And she's really feeling that in this moment. Or even like, or even sometimes lust. The feeling of lust can be scary in itself.

[Natalie Jean]

Yes. Any powerful emotion, any, you know, it's like any of them. And in any like combination of all of them as well. It's a lot because when you've lost so much, it is very easy for our hearts and our brains to go back into that being. Like, I don't want to lose anyone else, so I'd rather just keep everyone else at arm's distance for the rest of my life.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Which is not a way to live, Bryce.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's not. But it is scary. I was, I respect that.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh yes.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Because it can be really terrifying to have somebody like, to go like, okay, I'm going to trust you with my feelings, my heart. Yeah. So she's also like, we got to slow down, man. I'm, I got to focus on work. Let's not be doing this right now. As she reaches the store, Jesiba calls and demands Bryce go to the back door immediately. We cut to just a little bit later.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, it's horrible, baby Laba whispered in the dimness of the library.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Just horrible. And the thoughts in Bryce's mind of what almost just happened in the kitchen disappear. Because what Leheba is worried about is thy knock doth appear.

[Natalie Jean]

I don't think they make that sound. But if I am the knock, then that is the sound I will be making upon my entrance. At more than 8ft long, the knock might have very well been the hellish twin to a mermaid. But instead of humanoid features, the Nokk presented a jutting lower jaw with a too wide lipless mouth. Don't you see it? Already full of needle thin teeth, its over large eyes were milky like some of the fishes of the deep. Its tail was mostly translucent, bony and sharp. And above it, a warped muscled torso.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Rolled, covered in green kisses.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, I'm the sexier of the knocks. People are like, oh, some of the knocks, they're scary. But then, man, sometimes a slippery, slippery eel of a knock comes to your door and then what are you gonna do? You ain't gonna knock. I tell you what, you're gonna open right up.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yep, all of that. So the reason we're describing the knock is because Jesupa has produced one for the mass tank at the one end of the subterranean library. The creature has a slave tattoo on its wrist. Lehiba is understandably terrified of this big monster that Jesper has decided for some reason to put in the tank. Even though they all know the knock will die instantly upon breathing air.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, so technically I should be in some sort of like, I don't know, put me in like a salinated solution and maybe like, like that'll be my new vibe, man. Who Jackie? She's all wet.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay.

[Natalie Jean]

If I have to live in a tank.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay. If you have to live in a town. Got it.

[Natalie Jean]

Okay. So just so you know what, you can sell the tickets as I will make that note. Honestly, that would be really great if I started living in a tank and we could sell tickets for it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That would be really great.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. And we could have tank time and we could do live streamings of me in the tank.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Well, you heard it here.

[Natalie Jean]

This is.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Jackie wants to live in a tank.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm scared of water and I don't know how to swim, but I think that that would make for an interesting time.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I feel like there's other things you could do, but.

[Natalie Jean]

All right, Nadalie, I'll do other things.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Just. I'm just workshopping here.

[Natalie Jean]

So Jackie, she's all wet.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Lamp up. Pigs price to call Jesupa to get rid of the knob. So she does. She calls her up. But all it accomplishes is Jesiba shouting at Bryce and probably assuring the thing will stay there forever. Hunt asks what it eats. It loves humans.

[Natalie Jean]

Lehabo whispered.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

They drag swimmers under the surface of ponds and lakes and drowns them, then slowly feasts on their corpses over days and days.

[Natalie Jean]

Think about it. Think about it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

About it again. Sounds something like something from one of the other books.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, very interesting.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Which is a theory that people have posited before.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh yeah, about the knock. Interesting.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

From Silver Flame.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, interesting. That it be. Oh, okay. Wow. You heard it here first, everybody.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Nope. He asks why Jesupa would want the this. But that's a mystery for another day. Bryce thinks about how they are at a standstill in the case and how frustrating it is. During the scene, Hunt and her flirt a little, and then he tells her he has to run out and that he be back. We cut to Hunt's POV that evening as he's returning to the shop. He had to leave earlier because he received a text. She and Hunt are now headed out to discuss the findings with Victoria. And Hunt is reflecting upon everything that's happened this day. So we were with Bryce for all of the morning's events. Now we're with Hunt at the end of the day after everything that just happened. And he's kind of thinking about stuff that just went on, how when she returned from getting dressed, because as they were being blocked, Bryce used that moment to get out of the room to get dressed. Like, I gotta get you right there.

[Natalie Jean]

I gotta go put clothes on.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And when she returned from getting dressed and appeared in this pink dress with pearl combs in her hair, how beautiful she looked.

[Natalie Jean]

Beautiful wasn't even the right word for it. She'd emerged from her bedroom and he'd been struck stupid, which is very sweet. I just love. I love how he just, like, can't even get over how. How hot she is. Which is fun.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It is. And also.

[Natalie Jean]

But also, they're, like, falling in love and like, about.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, I feel like a little bit of that is, like, lust, but also, like, is he falling in love with her?

[Natalie Jean]

Because he's just getting to know her more and more, and so of course, he wants it even more.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. So the dress and the morning's events had kept him distracted and semi aroused all day.

[Natalie Jean]

That'll do it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And he was grateful to be called away in the afternoon after they had seen the knock together. Being around Bryce was turning into sheer torture. And he didn't want to make a fool of himself, assuming she wasn't as shaken up about the morning as he was. But we know otherwise.

[Natalie Jean]

We certainly do. And I feel like too there is that even, like, no matter what, if something hasn't happened yet, like, if you're in a will they won't they situation, they're still forever in your brain, no matter how magnetic you are of like, oh, God, they don't like me. That's why this isn't happening. This is all coming from me and they don't like me back. Oh, my God. And how often that has happened to me when it's like, in reality, you. Oftentimes most people are like that. So then they're scared to make a move.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even in this scene, I Thought it was a very funny moment where he's reflecting on how Bryce was trying to get a book from a top shelf. And he, like, walked behind her, feeling all, like, confident, being like, I'll get it for you.

[Natalie Jean]

You.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And, like, gave it to her and felt like her response was, like, unbothered. And he was like, oh, I'm an idiot. Now they are walking out of the gallery and Bryce is in the moment on a phone call with her mom, trying to shake her off so she can get off the phone. She's upset that Bryce is not going to be visiting this month.

[Natalie Jean]

Ember, We've got other things going on.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But she can't tell Ember because Ember will lose her mind. And so she has to keep making up excuses why she can't go visit Ember. And she lets it slip that there's someone staying at her house, which, of course, unleashes a hundred more questions.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, my God.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

In desperation to get off the phone call, she agrees to something, then turns to Hunt, telling him, grimacing, that they are going to have a video call with her parents later that evening.

[Natalie Jean]

It's so cute.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Not because they're, like, in love, it's just because, like, they just want to.

[Natalie Jean]

See who's staying in her house. They just want to see. They're just curious.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. They meet Victoria at a bar where she hands them a folder.

[Natalie Jean]

There, on the phase Mimir's screening lay the results. Small bits of something synthetic. Not organic, not technological, not magic, but a combination of all three.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

3 Find what is in between. Aidas had said Vic explains that because they needed this big test, Right?

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. The Autumn Kings test.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

The Autumn Kings test. This is the reason that they couldn't find this before, because the other subpar tests would not have been able to recognize the combination of these things together. But this fancy test that the Autumn King has had the whole time, time could have noted that there's this thing on it and that it's not necessarily a great finding because it's, I think, leading to a much bigger mystery problem.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, of course.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So they have detected this stuff on Danika's clothing from the night of the murder. Vic also tells them that they found the same substance on Maximus so far because they've tested the maximus.

[Natalie Jean]

Also murdered.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He was also murdered. Murdered. Victoria also reveals that this substance that she has found is a kind of drug, one that is used in medicine in small doses, but it could have made it to the streets. It sounds very similar to what the Medwich had mentioned to Ruhn a while back. Vic says they're going to run the test on the devils next. She also reveals what it's called. The drug is called sins. I'm not gonna lie since Sounds fun.

[Natalie Jean]

It's man synth. Sounds like a drug I want to do. This is my problem always with these damn newfangled drugs in books and in television shows like Same with Riverdale.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I knew you were gonna bring up Jingle jingle Jangle.

[Natalie Jean]

You give it over. Red River Rover, Red Rover. Let me jingle jangle it right inside of my mouth. Give me these boutique drugs.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Do they say rover, Rover, Bring the jingle jangle over. Okay. I mean, it sounds like plausible in that weird show.

[Natalie Jean]

It does sound like something that would be written in Riverdale. I'm surprised. But yeah, I just love a boutique fake drug in. In a fantasy world, not in real life. In real life, I would be very z. Very scared.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But no, I don't. With any drugs.

[Natalie Jean]

But no, especially drugs I don't know anything about from people that also don't know anything about the drugs. And I'm like, I'm good. I mean, don't.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That's you growing up.

[Natalie Jean]

I was about to say, that's not me in my 20s, which literally how many times someone would put a pill in my hand, I'd put it in my mouth, take it down with a 40, of course, and be like, what was that? Or I wouldn't ask.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Don't do that.

[Natalie Jean]

Don't do that.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Everyone out there, for the love of.

[Natalie Jean]

Fucking Christ, there's no reason why I'm still alive.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Do not ever do that.

[Natalie Jean]

No. God, I loved finding random pills. And that was back before. I remember I had.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Don't make it sound more enticing.

[Natalie Jean]

I had a pill book in college. I remember that we had a book so that we could look up pills to make sure that the pills that we would get were right. Which technically is the safest. You could.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, for sure.

[Natalie Jean]

In the early 2000s.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Well, now you can't be with all.

[Natalie Jean]

The stuff out before you put anything in your mouth. Test it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You need to do test strips if you're going to partake. Don't do have to. If you're going to do it, you must test. And I know it's hard because it's like a paradigm. If you're already being on the road to doing cocaine, you're not like, well, I have to be careful because you're already like everything when you're doing cocaine. But you don't want to die.

[Natalie Jean]

Not worth it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay.

[Natalie Jean]

Worth it. Sorry, that's our little. That's our little high horse. I'm just saying, our little druggie high.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yes. They go home and call up Roon after finding this information from Vic. She takes the. They take the files from her, they go back home and they call Roon, who confirms it does in fact sound like what the info was. The Midwich had given him this drug because she's also the med, which has given Roon some information to read through. This drug is from Redner Industries, which, if you'll recall, was the. The first date that Bryce was on, that was the son of one of the, the CEOs of that company. And Danica also used to sometimes do security for that company. So.

[Natalie Jean]

Okay, sting.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So they're going through all the files that run received from the Medwich, and also they find out that this drug contains obsidian salt, which is not good, and also could allude to this being connected to hell. Bryce wants to take to the streets immediately to try to figure this out, but Hunt stops her, tells her she needs to rest, tells her he's gonna go put on normal clothes and they're gonna go meet with her parents. He takes her hand. This talk, trying to coax her to calm down and be a person, leads him to reveal the backstory of his own parents. Kind of saying to her, please take this time to be with your parents because, you know, they're, they'll be gone one day and you won't be able to do this. So he basically gives the backstory about his life and says that he doesn't know who his father is. His mother never told him. His mother was a low ranking angel and she cleaned and was, you know, know around a lot of higher ranking angels and they didn't treat her very well. He has this like, very soft expression about the memories of his mother and it's clear that he was very close with her and that that was maybe one of the last people who was ever kind to him, unfortunately. And again, very similar to a character from Acotar. I mean, that Jackie's favorite.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, it shows why that Cassian and Hunt are two of my favorite characters. They, I, they are, you know, very different, but fairly similar.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

They've got, they got similarities.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So then she kind of agrees. And then the next scene is Hunt and her engaging in a cleaning montage which is rich with bonding and stolen glances because they want to make sure that the house is sparkly clean. Bryce is making it very clear that her mother is a bit of a ball buster. Yes, and she will notice if the house is not spotless. And so he's like, okay, they're just like cleaning and stuff. And he is enjoying this. At the same time, he's taking covert photos of her. You know, she's not looking. And he's like trying to remember. He's taking. He's learning what taking a photo is. That's not of a crime scene.

[Natalie Jean]

It's also like a cute like I think he's learning how to become a little bit more human.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He's got memories. Memories to look back upon.

[Natalie Jean]

I can make memories too. And he does.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

This does lead him to feeling a sense of sadness that this might end soon. And also at the same time a sense of urgency to get this case done. Also nervousness as bury seems to infer that she he might be swallowed whole by her mother. She asks if he wants to have some wine for a little liquid courage. He begins to panic at the meeting of the parents. His feelings for her, his desire. She's like the same thing that was happening to Bryce earlier. Like too much. There's too much.

[Natalie Jean]

Maybe this is a Before Hunt could open his mouth to suggest that this might be a mistake. Stake, a female voice said.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And why exactly would he need liquid courage?

[Natalie Jean]

Bryce Adelaide Quinlan Oh, Mommy's on the call. That is great. What a great way to end this episode.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Jesus.

[Natalie Jean]

Jesus Christ.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

We have an evacuation war morning. What?

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Wait.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, we gotta end this episode.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And now dudes. Grappling With Erotica Featuring Ed Larson and Marcus Parks.

[Hunt]

Hunt turned from from the stove as she extended the coffee to him, glance between the outstretched mug and her face and his large hand wrapped around the mug. He leaned in, closing the space between them. His mouth brushed over her cheek, brief and light and sweet. Thank you, he said, pulling back and returning to the stove as if he.

[Narrator]

Didn'T notice that she couldn't move a single muscle, couldn't find a single word to utter. The urge to grab him, to pull his face down to hers and taste every part of him practically blinded her. Her fingers twitched at her sides, nearly able to feel those hard muscles beneath them. He had a long lost love he was still holding a torch for, and she'd just gone too long without sex. Cthonus tits. It had been weeks since that hookup with the lion shifter in the Raven's bathroom, and with Hunt here, he hadn't dared open up her left nightstand to take care of herself. Keep telling yourself all that, a small voice said.

[Hunt]

The muscles in Hunt's back stiffened. His hands paused. Whatever they were doing.

[Narrator]

He could smell this type of thing, couldn't he? Most veneer males could. The shifts in a person, scent, fear and arousal being the two big ones.

[Hunt]

He was the umbra mortis off limits in 10 million ways. And the umbra mortis didn't date. No, it'd be all or nothing with him?

[Narrator]

Hunt asked, voice like gravel.

[Hunt]

What are you thinking about?

[Narrator]

He didn't turn from the stove. You. Like a idiot, I'm thinking about you. There's a sample sale at one of the designer stores this afternoon, she lied.

[Hunt]

Hunt glanced over his shoulder.

[Narrator]

His eyes were dark.

[Hunt]

Is that so?

[Narrator]

Was that a purr in his voice? She couldn't help the step she took back, bumping into the kitchen island. Yeah, yes, she said, unable to look away.

[Hunt]

Hunt's eyes darkened further. He said nothing.

[Narrator]

She couldn't breathe properly with that stare fixed on her, that stare that told her he scented everything going on in her body.

[Hunt]

Her nipples pebbled under that stare. Hunt went preternaturally still. His eyes dipped downward, saw her breath, the thighs she now clamped together as if it stopped the throbbing, beginning to torture her.

[Narrator]

Between them, his face went positively feral, a mountain cat ready to pounce.

[Hunt]

I didn't know clothing sales got you so hot and bothered, Quinlan.

[Narrator]

She nearly whimpered, forced herself to keep still. It's the little things in life, Athlo.

[Hunt]

Is that what you think about when you open up the left nightstand? Clothing sales? He faced her fully now.

[Narrator]

She didn't dare let her gaze drop. Yes, she breathed. All those clothes all over my body. She had no idea what the was coming out of her mouth.

[Hunt]

How was it possible? All the air in the apartment, the city had been sucked out out. Maybe you should buy some new underwear.

[Narrator]

He murmured, nodding to her bare legs.

[Hunt]

Seems like you're out.

[Narrator]

She couldn't stop it, the image that blazed over her senses. Hunt putting those big hands on her waist and hoisting her under the counter, currently pressing into her spine, shoving her T shirt over her midriff, his T shirt, actually, and spreading her legs wide.

[Hunt]

Fucking her with his tongue and his cock and her with his, her with his tongue, then his, until she was sobbing in pleasure, screaming with it.

[Narrator]

She didn't care, just so long as he was touching her inside her.

[Hunt]

Gwynlan.

[Narrator]

She seemed to be shaking now, as if only a tether of pure will keep him in place, as if he'd seen the same burning image and was just waiting for her nod.

[Hunt]

It complicated everything. The investigation, whatever he felt for Shahar, her own life to fucking hell with all that. They'd figure it out later.

[Narrator]

They Burning smoke filled the air between them. Gross. No stinging smoke.

[Natalie Jean]

Fuck.

[Hunt]

Oh, sorry, hunt hissed, whirling to the stove and the eggs he left on the burner as if a witch spell had been snapped. Bryce blinked, the dizzying heat vanishing.

[Narrator]

Oh gods. His emotions had to be all over the place after last night, and hers were a mess on a good day. And I have to get dressed for work, she managed to say, and hurried toward her bedroom before he could turn from the burning breakfast. My breakfast is burnt. Athelar.

[Hunt]

You know, I hear turkey bacon is just a good. It's a good substitute.

[Narrator]

Yeah. Is it good?

[Hunt]

Yeah. You know, I. I don't want to be an asshole or nothing, but you know, you don't gotta eat pigs all the time. You could just have some turkey bacon.

[Narrator]

The skirt is my quivering pussy.

[Hunt]

You know, I've never fried it up. But no.

[Natalie Jean]

Please read up to chapter 59 for next week.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

SA.

[Natalie Jean]

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