LPN Deep Dives: HOSAB / Episode 12: Riddler Diddler Me THIS!

Summary

LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City

Episode 12: Riddler Diddler Me THIS!
Release Date: August 26, 2025
Hosts: Natalie Jean & Jackie Zebrowski

Episode Overview

This episode continues LPN’s signature irreverent, highly detailed deep-dive into Sarah J. Maas’s Crescent City series, specifically focusing on the events of House of Sky and Breath, covering Chapter 20 through pivotal developments in the plot and character relationships. Natalie and Jackie blend their comedic energies and fandom expertise to break down the Tharion and Hunt storylines, Bryce’s emotional turmoil, the introduction of Apollyon, and—of course—a healthy dose of racy, erotic moments, topped off by the special “Dudes Grappling With Erotica” segment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Cosplay, Costumes, and Comedic Banter

[02:36 – 07:49]

• Jackie and Natalie open post-ads with a playful discussion about their unpredictable costume choices and running gags about sharing a “dog costume,” which has seen better (and less hygienic) days.
• They joke about their chaotic energy:
  • “I'm worried that somebody would see the two of us and would think that maybe somebody paid to watch us go go at it in a room somewhere.” (Jackie, 02:36)
  • Regular banter fosters a casual, approachable vibe, prepping listeners for a mix of humor and critical fandom analysis.

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2. Chapter 20: Tharion’s Dilemma & the River Queen’s Daughter

[11:19 – 16:02 | 16:34 – 21:44]

• Transition to the book: Tharion is introduced, tinkering with his wave skimmer (not a car, because he’s a merman!).
• Tharion’s emotional state: processing plot overload, tangling with his feelings about titles and expectations (“Captain Whatever”).
• The arrival of the River Queen’s Daughter:
  • She’s described in lush, aquatic detail—a blend of sensual appeal and elemental otherness.
  • Jackie and Natalie riff on how being "so hot that somebody would ruin their life for you" is a wild power to have.
  • “I can't imagine being so hot that somebody would ruin their life for you.” (Jackie, 12:03)
• Tharion’s awkward, excuse-laden attempt to dodge an intimate rendezvous:
  • "No, babe. Look at how busy I am. I gotta tink." (Jackie, 14:41)
  • They highlight the River Queen’s Daughter’s insecurity and Tharion’s cowardice in handling his obligations, noting the classic gender role reversal ("princess in the tower" motif).
  • “That’s what happens when you make promises in order to have your erection milked, I guess.” (Natalie, 15:36)
  • “Yeah, that’s what you get, milk boy.” (Jackie, 15:57)
• Discussion of Tharion's entrapment, resentment, and using the investigation as leverage—a surprisingly nuanced take on agency and consequence in fantasy romance.

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3. Hunt’s POV: Awkward Roommate Comedy & Emotional Depth

[22:02 – 31:48]

• Scene shifts to Hunt leading Baxian around the dorms (the ultimate “begrudging tour guide” energy).
  • They riff on “Clueless” and “Encino Man” as apt cultural analogies for Baxian’s adaptation struggles.
  • “It’s Clueless meets Encino Man.” (Jackie, 25:42)
  • Extended joke on dorm room “twin XL sheets” and capitalist nonsense.
• Pollux arrives, increasing tension and piling on the stress for Hunt.
• Dorm drama triggers Hunt’s PTSD—punctuated by his recall of Justinian’s execution.
  • “It’s just like…talking for a living, but him, hundreds of years of torturing people!” (Jackie, 27:33)
  • Natalie offers a relatable aside about missed joke opportunities and self-criticism, likening herself to Hunt.
• Isaiah discusses moving out of the Ox, an unexpected break from oppressive old leadership.
• The group collectively processes their post-rebellion trauma, Hunt admitting he truly intended to give up rebellion, mostly out of hope for the future with Bryce.
  • “For the first time ever, he was allowed to start thinking about a future.” (Jackie, 30:36)
  • “He was horny for a future.” (Natalie, 30:40)

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4. Bryce & Hunt: Intimacy, Insecurities, and “C-blocking”

[34:20 – 47:16]

• Natalie and Jackie walk listeners through a deeply personal scene:
  • Bryce and Hunt alone, but awkward—Ethan in the next room is killing the mood.
  • Deep dive (and comedic asides) into college/roommate sex logistics.
  • Bryce feels suddenly “unhorned” by emotional baggage (Danika’s papers).
  • A frank, comedic discussion of their sexual histories and mutual nervousness.
    • “This is the longest she’s gone without sex since she was 17. She’s not counting the couch session she had with Hunt as sex, which is fair.” (Natalie, 40:30)
    • Hunt admits it's been six months for him, which surprises Bryce. Jackie and Natalie riff on dry spells and the pressure of “being the first” after a long time.
    • Jackie: “I love that it’s only been six months.” (42:06)
• Anxiety and self-doubt—Bryce worries she’s not Hunt’s type (comparing herself to a “waifish” nymph), weaving relatable body image themes into the conversation.
• Meta-commentary on romance tropes (“alpha holes”), writing explicit scenes, and the relatability of sexual insecurity.

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5. Hunt’s Dream: The Riddling of Apollyon

[47:17 – 54:21]

• Hunt is “dream-visited” by Apollyon, Prince of the Pit, who delivers cryptic warnings (“Riddler Diddler” energy).
  • Dialogue highlights the surreal menace:
    • “A greater warrior would have already figured out how to free himself by now.” (Apollyon/Natalie, 49:14)
  • They joke about pronouncing Apollyon’s name (relatable audiobook confusion) and speculate about his motives.
  • The conversation is notably ambiguous—Apollyon claims Hunt and Bryce have untapped power and a looming connection to war and Hell.
  • Jackie: “Another riddler. Good.” (52:19); Natalie: “Riddle don’t diddle.” (52:31)
  • Hunt wakes rattled, instinctively protecting Bryce.
  • “He simply pulls Bryce in closer to him, wishing he could protect her from whatever was about to rain down upon them all." (Natalie, 54:21)

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6. "Dudes Grappling With Erotica" Segment

[55:08 – End]

• Special appearance from Marcus Parks and Henry Zebrowski, reading the “almost-sex” scene dialogue between Bryce and Hunt.
  • Comic delivery undercuts the typical “smolder” of Maas’s writing, but preserves the enthusiasm:
    • “Tell me yes, Bryce.” (Henry as Hunt, 56:34)
    • “I'll say yes when I've had my fill." (Marcus as Bryce, 56:55)
    • “You got big tits. I got for a man, I have man tits, big man breasts. That’s the least sexy thing anyone has ever said to me.” (Marcus & Henry, 57:49)
  • Syrinx, the animal companion, kicks the door shut as things heat up—reminding listeners Maas’s sex scenes always come with at least a touch of comic relief.
  • Encounter ends with an instruction for listeners to read up to Chapter 23 for next week.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Tharion’s Situation (Power, Sex, and Awkwardness):
  • “That’s what happens when you make promises in order to have your erection milked, I guess.” — Natalie (15:36)
  • “Yeah, that’s what you get, milk boy.” — Jackie (15:57)
• On Dorms & Capitalist Schemes:
  • “It’s so weird that there are extra long sheets only in dorms…Capitalism's really good at it, huh?” — Jackie (25:36)
• On Post-Rebellion Trauma:
  • “For the first time ever, he was allowed to start thinking about a future…He was horny for a future.” — Jackie & Natalie (30:36–30:40)
• On Sex and Self-Doubt:
  • “This is the longest she’s gone without sex since she was 17…She’s not counting the couch session she had with Hunt as sex, which is fair.” — Natalie (40:30)
  • “I love that it’s only been six months.” — Jackie (42:06)
• On the Riddler Energy:
  • “Another Riddler. Good.” — Jackie (52:19)
  • “Riddle don’t diddle.” — Natalie (52:31)
• On Body Image and Insecurity:
  • “She wonders if Hunt prefers the waifish nymph type, the body shape she ‘should’ve had for ballet.’” (43:08–44:41)

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Important Timestamps by Chapter Segment

• [02:36 – 07:49] – Comedic costuming & show open
• [11:19 – 21:44] – Tharion, the River Queen’s Daughter, “princess in the tower”
• [22:02 – 31:48] – Hunt, Baxian, “Clueless” analogies, trauma, the group’s future
• [34:20 – 47:16] – Bryce & Hunt, sexual tension, insecurity, “longest since 17”
• [47:17 – 54:21] – Hunt’s dream with Apollyon ("Riddler")
• [55:08 – End] – “Dudes Grappling With Erotica” (Marcus & Henry Zebrowski) read Bryce/Hunt

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Overall Tone & Language

Zany, R-rated, and intimately familiar with SJM canon, the hosts blend snarky humor, self-deprecating stories, and genuine emotional depth. Conversations riff naturally from plot breakdown to Fandom in-jokes, with a recurring focus on how Crescent City’s supernatural melodrama intersects with very real feelings about desire, power, and self-acceptance.

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For Next Week

Read up to Chapter 23!

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This episode is a masterclass in blending fandom analysis and comedy—listeners leave with a strong grasp of character motives, plot twists, and the emotional core of Crescent City…plus a good laugh and some affirming, tongue-in-cheek discussion about the messy realities of love and power in fantasy (and real) worlds.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Natalie Jean]

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[Jackie Zabrowski]

We're excited to announce that we're going to Prythian and Vaalbara and Bezgaeth if.

[Natalie Jean]

Ya nasty and you can too.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

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[Natalie Jean]

Multiple Fae balls, fashion shows, photo shoots, hotties, Everybody. At least 15 different events at the otherworldly Gaylord Texan Resort that you can customize to make the perfect trip fit your Fantasy Dreams.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Visit fantastiquecollection.com and use our code FAYBAYES at checkout to receive $10 off of any of these events.

[Natalie Jean]

Dreamers and Readers Night 1 and 2.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Mythical Creatures, Masquerade Fantastique, Starfo Ball and the Farewell Fae Bash.

[Natalie Jean]

Not only that, but if you use our code Fayebaes at checkout for those events and you will receive an exclusive swag bag from the Weeknd.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I'll do anything for a swag bag, Natalie.

[Natalie Jean]

Give it to me.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yes, that's right. Use our code Faybase F A E B A e [e-mail] to get your $10 off of any of these events.

[Natalie Jean]

Dreamers and readers Baby, I cannot wait for this.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Gimme, gimme.

[Natalie Jean]

Give me that swag.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Welcome to Crescent City with your hosts Natalie Jean and Jackie Zabrowski. I'm worried that somebody would see the two of us and would think that maybe somebody paid to watch us go go at it in a room somewhere. I just feel like we're both really giving, I don't know, creatures that like to in the night or in the day? I.

[Natalie Jean]

Are you saying because Syrinx has beautiful breasts that they're sexualized?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. I like that. In your Syrinx costume. I don't know if everybody heard that. In your Syrinx costume. I love that your tits are hanging out. I think it's good. I think it gives, like, a level to Syrinx that we didn't have before. Like, where does the milk shoot out if it does? And now we know. And I want to say I appreciate you.

[Natalie Jean]

Thank you. I cannot breathe inside of this. I'm sure it sounds really.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, I'm sure it's great for a podcast to have a mask on, but I think you should probably take it off. Are you sure? I know. I am sure. I know. As someone. I will say, as someone that has been been forced to wear that dog costume multiple times, I'm glad that you're not wearing the body of it and. But I will say the inside of that mask has seen better days. Natalie.

[Natalie Jean]

Okay, now I'm taking the mask off.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You might want to take the mask off. In fact, I walked. I saw you come in with it on. I was like, oh, girl. Oh, your pet. Your face. You're going to need to really wash up after a while.

[Natalie Jean]

Guess what? Second dog face.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Second dog face. Oh. Don't ever peel back a dog's face, though, to see if there's a second dog face face underneath. I'm pretty sure there's not. Oh, I guess there is. I guess it just depends on. Like, do you. Would you look at the peeled skull of a dog and be like, that's a full dog.

[Natalie Jean]

Get out of here. What kind of day are you having?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's. You know, I'm all. I mean, look at me. I'm a character that doesn't even show up in this chapter. Natalie. I'm all over the place.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, you've been introduced to.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I have been lightly introduced. But you don't even know what I look like. According to this chapter. But you know what?

[Natalie Jean]

Let's just say that you are using your imagination.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It is the beauty of Natalie and I choosing to never tell each other what we're gonna be dressed up as. You know, I think it is. It really is just, who knows what's gonna happen? And it keeps it fun. It keeps it light.

[Natalie Jean]

We just like to have fun here. That's why we have an office dog costume.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. That we all share. What's a nice dog costume?

[Natalie Jean]

It's very expensive.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I mean. Yeah, the mouth moves on and Everything that's like. That's not your run of the mill dog costume.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. And you did make me just realize there's so many people's spit is inside of that.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I think it might just be mine and Marcus's spit, but there's no way. I don't know. I think. I think that might. That costume might be reserved for the two of us.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm pretty sure Marcus has worn it for me. Something.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, I said Marcus. Me and Marcus.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh. Maybe. Well, I'm thinking Ed. Maybe Edward.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Ed can't fit in that. You think he can fit his dome in that mask? He can't. It's a small. It's not the mask made for most men's heads.

[Natalie Jean]

Wow. That's saying a lot about Marcus.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You got a little head. Marcus got a little head. Marcus got a little head. Surprised you're not called Marcus. Oh, my head's so small. Parks. Wow.

[Natalie Jean]

Got him.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. Yeah. I used to be a bully. Do you never? Yeah, baby. I'm showing off my juice right now.

[Natalie Jean]

I used to be bullied.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I know. I was also bullied.

[Natalie Jean]

I know you were.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And oftentimes the bullied becomes the bully.

[Natalie Jean]

It's true.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, I do. I would like this, like, fit. And this wig, really, I feel like it's given fifth element. Like, I. I just feel like you do.

[Natalie Jean]

You look like Star man a little bit.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, I meant more like David Bowie. Oh, okay. I mean, I. I'd rather. I'd rather that. So great. This is great for me. I don't think that I am that kind of Star Man. I don't know if someone watched me come out of a UFO that like, that they would burst into like, oh, that's a star man coming off the ship.

[Natalie Jean]

And I don't think if you were coming off as a spaceship in the outfit, it wouldn't be in the pornography.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And go get these snakes off of this plane. And then people be like, it's a spaceship. Are the snakes the aliens? I think that a lot of people are gonna have a lot of questions.

[Natalie Jean]

They're gonna say, maybe stop talking.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

We're shouting, dancing. Yeah. Shake em for me, baby.

[Natalie Jean]

I don't wanna do this to you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But shake them for you. Want me to shake them?

[Natalie Jean]

No, I.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You want me to shake em?

[Natalie Jean]

I don't know if I should even say what I was just thinking.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Say it now. You know you wanna make it gonna make you sad. Ooh, fun.

[Natalie Jean]

Your. Your father's voice just came out of you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, he Lives within my mouth.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, like the Shining.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yes, exactly. Now my father's little man lives inside of my mouth. And I'm like, henry, shut up. Henry, shut up. Oh, if I had a little Henry living in my mouth, I'd be so annoyed.

[Natalie Jean]

Ew.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You'd be like, have another cigarette. Like, don't. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

He would definitely be encouraging you to.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Start to smoke cigarettes. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

The beginning of chapter 20. Tharion is mulling over everything that has happened at Bryce's in the most masculine way possible. He is tinkering with a vehicle. So.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Whoa. Okay. Bruce. Yasss.

[Natalie Jean]

Bruce.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Bruce Springsteen is always fixing cars, Natalie. Everybody knows that. Bruce Springsteen is always fixing cars.

[Natalie Jean]

Bruce Springsteen last.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. And you hate Bruce Springsteen.

[Natalie Jean]

I don't hate him. I actually don't hate him at all. I just don't have an affinity for him. And that's illegal in this family.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's illegal in this family.

[Natalie Jean]

I already said this. I think he stands up for people and he's. I like his politics.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yes. And I like watching him when he's playing the guitar and he jumps from the stage on top of a piano. Whoa.

[Natalie Jean]

Does he do flips?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, he's no Benson Boone, but. And everybody's always saying that about Bruce Springsteen. I mean, he's no Benson Boone, but he's got a couple ditties out there.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. Benson Boone. Famous for his great songs.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. Not for flipping looking bad in jumpsuits, man. They really rip him apart.

[Natalie Jean]

But anyway, I know that's. It's kind of mean. I do. Like, he does flips. I think that's cool.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Is it enough to pretend like you're Freddie Mercury? Not quite sure. But he keeps doing it.

[Natalie Jean]

He does. And with that, we keep doing this.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, look at us. We get the opportunity to dress as two interesting sex symbols to some.

[Natalie Jean]

Wow. Okay. Flatterer.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. I mean, you got them. Today's out, baby.

[Natalie Jean]

I bet you're somebody's fetish.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. Of course.

[Natalie Jean]

I need to put that on a card that you can give to people.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. I bet I'm somebody's. Will you hand out the card? I bet I'm somebody's fetish.

[Natalie Jean]

Don't worry. I'm sure you're somebody's fetish.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Somebody's fetish. Because not me though.

[Natalie Jean]

You may be repulsive to most.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

But you're somebody's fetish.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But I've got really low boundaries.

[Natalie Jean]

My self esteem is in the toilet.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

So at the beginning of 20, we are now with Tharion. We have Just left Ruhn and Cormac and Rebecca Lita, of course.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

At the pool hall.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, I miss her.

[Natalie Jean]

I know. I do, too.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Hope she's doing well out there right now. Oh, my God.

[Natalie Jean]

She's thriving. So we all left that behind. And now we're at this new chapter with Therian. He is just basically processing everything that's happened. He also has gained a bunch of. All these people are still cycling through the huge amount of information that we've all received. At least all the characters are also doing that. So as we have to remember it. They're like.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

They're really.

[Natalie Jean]

God. So many plot points in my life.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's a lot.

[Natalie Jean]

So he is tinkering on his vehicle, I guess, like Bruce Springsteen. It's not a car. It's a wave skimmer. Because he's a merman.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

He's being morose about being called Captain Whatever by Ethan. He's really taking this to heart, these boys.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, my God. Taking everything personally, really.

[Natalie Jean]

But he is actually still hoping that Ethan will take him up on his offer to assist him because of his good sniffer.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

The door to the dry dock room whooshed open, ushering in a scent of bubbling streams and water lilies. Tharion kept his attention on the engine, the wrench clenched in his hand.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, Tharion. It's the consequences of your own action.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, who's coming up? Is it. Is it somebody I wanna kiss?

[Natalie Jean]

He did want to kiss her very badly. Enough that he ruined his whole life.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, he did.

[Natalie Jean]

The Queen's daughter appears.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Damn.

[Natalie Jean]

Huh.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I can't imagine being so hot that somebody would ruin their life for you. You know, it's pretty cool. Wow.

[Natalie Jean]

Proud of her. And she's described as wearing a pale blue gown, river pearls, and shards of abalone. Abalone? Yeah. In her hair, with bare feet. She has warm brown skin and thick curls cascading down her back. But we also know she's an elemental. Partly an elemental. And Tharion notes how she floats instead of walks and is, quote, part woman.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Part R. My problem is, like, I want to think that's so sexy, but it kind of gives Ghost of Christmas Past in Muppet Christmas Carol.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, you're just always thinking about Muppet Christmas Carol, obviously. I think that's the first problem. You put things through the lens of Muppet Christmas Carol first and then work backwards.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Doesn't everybody do that?

[Natalie Jean]

They should. Jim Henson was a visionary.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It is the British way.

[Natalie Jean]

British way.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Remember Kiss us. Oh. Is not everybody thinking about A Christmas Carol in September?

[Natalie Jean]

It's you got to think about something nice. There's a lot of stuff going on.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. So just live in no cheeses for us Mises. It's better there.

[Natalie Jean]

Therian is trying to think about it too because he is now having to deal with his after post nut clarity for the next 10 years. Which he's done.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Sucks.

[Natalie Jean]

And the River Queen's daughter has arrived. He's alarmed to find out she has actually appeared in this underwater dry dock where he's working to proposition him. Which is not something that they have done in a long time. But she seems to be trying to make moves like trying to connect with him. He had assumed she had moved on to other lovers actually and was just, you know, because of her mother being she's agreeing to this. She. He knows she's like likes him but he just assumed she wasn't that interested in him. But it seems that she is actually. So now she's like hey, you know, we. Why don't you come over to my shell later? I don't know where they live. And he's like fuck. Ah. What do I do? And so he has to try to politely brush it off as being oh well, she. He's actually too busy. By her own mother and kind of like putting it on the mom. Which is like I get it. But she's not really buying it either because he's just tinkering on a wave skimmer. It doesn't seem like he has a lot of busy stuff right now.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Babe. No, I'm really busy. You gotta go. No, babe. Look at how busy I am. I gotta tink.

[Natalie Jean]

That would just be so embarrassing if you were like dating somebody and they were like I oh, I can't have sex with you cuz I'm. This microphone is like loose.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh yeah. See that? Yeah. No, it needs. I. I gotta oil it. I gotta go.

[Natalie Jean]

I feel the embarrassment in my gut of that happening.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Very much so. But I guess would you feel that way if you were the River Queen's daughter? You know, it's like do like. Is it also like a bitch when I say I want to meet you at my fucking shell? You're going to meet me at my shell.

[Natalie Jean]

I don't know. I think she is very insecure. Of course that's what she reads as. We don't ever even learn her name. I think that's how she is seen. She is the daughter of the River Queen. That is her entire personality.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It can't be Natalie.

[Natalie Jean]

And she knows it. She feels it. She has low self esteem because of it. And she really wants Thirion to, you know, be her boyfriend. And that's what happens when you make promises in order to have your erection milked, I guess.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, that's what you get, milk boy.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Natalie Jean]

Lowe's knows tough jobs call for tougher tools. The new DeWalt Elite Series power tool accessories are built to last for the pro who doesn't stop with precision, fitment, durability and impact resistance. Finishing jobs faster has never been easier. Shop the new DeWalt Elite Series at an everyday low price. Exclusively at Lowe's. We help you save. So he's like, yeah, I can't baby, right now. She questions him, accusing him of avoiding her by being above the water so much. So he tells her a little bit about what he's been doing up there and who he's been talking to. Not the details, baby, I'm busy, baby. I can't. Oh God, so much.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, so many things to do.

[Natalie Jean]

And she's like, you're not wearing a watch. Why are you looking at your wrist? And he's like, oh, I have a.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's like a mare thing.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She's like, I would know. What are you talking about?

[Natalie Jean]

He's like, I'll explain it later. And then throws Santa in.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. He just starts running. It's like, whoa, Jesus, dude, relax. And he just kept running.

[Natalie Jean]

Uh oh, Forest is making an appearance today, huh?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, no, no, no, I shouldn't.

[Natalie Jean]

No. So he's telling her a little about what he's doing up there for his work. And then she gets suspicious when he mentions Bryce. So he casually throws it into the conversation that, oh, did you know that her and Hunt are dating now? Isn't that so great? Yeah, she's sort of like, oh, you were seeing that Bryce again. And he does like her panties. And so she should be a little bit jealous.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, but like, Therian loves all panties. He's down, man.

[Natalie Jean]

She should try throwing panties at him.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But also it's got to be so frustrating because she knows he loves all panties. And then the fact that she's like, meet me at my shell and he's.

[Natalie Jean]

Like, oh, I know. That's like, you're horny as hell. That really hurts.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Fuck me, bro. Yeah, so you're supposed to, at this point, like, at this point, 10 years, you know, leaks.

[Natalie Jean]

So he like throws in, oh, well, they're dating. And then he even decides to try to placate her by saying that he would like to introduce the two of them. You would love Bryce. And then he has to explain what a double date is to her, which is like, I know she's not a kid, but it's like, oh, it feels like you're. She's an infant.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. Then he's like, grooming, even though he's not grooming at all. It's just very sheltered.

[Natalie Jean]

She's been shelter. She's literally been in a shel closed clamshell. Can't leave it a lot, I think. So she doesn't know, like, basic things. And so it's also very awkward and weird and it's just, you know, it's not Therian's thing. But he made his choices and he's got to live with those consequences.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Lay in that wet bed of yours, bitch.

[Natalie Jean]

Lay in that wet ass bed. And so he, you know, says, I'm gonna take you up to the earth's surface and we're gonna go on a double date. After he explains what that is.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Fucking Ariel at me, you bitch.

[Natalie Jean]

And it's also, I think this conversation is for us to understand how sheltered the River Queen's daughter is.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

To also understand, like, why doesn't he, like, why wouldn't he be excited? It's like, oh, you saw it as like, more of like, something to attain.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. And that's the lesson for you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That's kind of what you get, bro.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. Good lesson, bud. So she's like, sort of not placated, but is. And then she leaves with her guards. And he notes the envy on the faces of her guards who would cut off one of their own limbs to get in her bed. And he knows they feel contempt for Tharion and his rejection of her. Like, those guards, like, she's a sought after elemental.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I think she's a. She's a River Queen's daughter. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

And she's like, really sexy and beautiful.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Of course she is.

[Natalie Jean]

And they're like, fuck you, dude. She's got eyes for you. And I love her.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Get over yourselves.

[Natalie Jean]

And Tharion sighs after she finally leaves, like, breathes like, oh, she's gone.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay.

[Natalie Jean]

And he leaves his head on the wave skimmer just like, really Tired. There's a lot going on. And now he's dealing with this.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's a lot.

[Natalie Jean]

It's a lot. Got himself into a pickle. So here we see.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Because of his pickle.

[Natalie Jean]

Because of his pickle. Here we see a sort of role reversal of the princess in the tower. Though Tharion did make all of these decisions that led him here. He is an, to an extent, being held in this underwater castle awaiting the inevitable wedding and breeding. He's like trapped down here. And he thinks about how he will do everything he can to drag this Sophie investigation out as long as possible and even try to find a way out of this thing. He's done.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He's trapped.

[Natalie Jean]

The investigation, which is like. He understands that's kind of like a dark thing to be like, well, I'm going to use this, like, potential murder investigation to bargain my way out of this. But he's like, I have to get out of here.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But also like, where are you mer balls at, bro? You know, I just feel like he wants an excuse. Like he wants like a reason. He wants something to be like, well, I had to stay because of this. And they're. Honestly, it kind of makes you not want to fuck Tharion.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. It's a little cowardly.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It is.

[Natalie Jean]

I think the only argument would be that the river. He's trapped.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I mean, he is.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, like, literally murder him.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. And he has to go back in the river. So it's not like, oh, well then just don't go down there. It's like, no, that doesn't make any sense. He has to go down there.

[Natalie Jean]

He's a prince.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So he's trapped.

[Natalie Jean]

He's trapped in a castle. We cut over to Hunt in this chapter, who has been forced, as we recall, to be Baxian's guide. Yeah, like, what's the.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Like a tour guide? Like, yeah, like in school when you have to be matched up with someone older than you.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

A shadow. When you would shadow them.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, shadow. And he has to show him. He's like really pissed about it. And he's been informed vaccine his project. Now Hunt is even more irritated showing Vaxian the commons room in this part of the chapter. He's got his teeth are gritted because they had almost hooked up in the alley very recently. And that's all he's thinking about.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Hunting Bryce. That is because, as you said, I was like, hunt and Baxie and where was that fucking story? Uh. Oh, send it over.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, sorry. Bryson, Hunt. Almost.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

The B names.

[Natalie Jean]

I know so many they almost Hooked up. That's all that's on Hunt's mind right now. He's trying to get through all the stuff he needs to do. He needs to show back scene around, show him where the freaking microwave is, show them where the bathroom is. And he can't leave until he's like, you know, basically seen everything so he doesn't get in trouble.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh my God. It's just like clueless. I wanna be a supermodel.

[Natalie Jean]

Wait, is he gonna give Vaccine a makeover?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, maybe. Maybe it's gonna be very Thai coated.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh my God.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And his hair will shine like the sea. Or maybe it's Therian coated. I don't know.

[Natalie Jean]

You're a virgin who can't drive.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh my God. That's totally not Baxian or Hunt. But also we don't know if they can drive.

[Natalie Jean]

Vaccine could be a version. We don't know.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You're right. He's just so old, you know, I just feel like at that point feel a voyage in that long saving himself.

[Natalie Jean]

Hikes for got a lot of buildup. So Hunt is even more irritated because of this whole awaiting. Bryce is awaiting him. Essentially. Baxian doesn't know about the tryst that's on Hunt's agenda. He does seem to be dragging out all of the explanations of what goes where and what rooms and where stuff is unclear why, but he seems to also not let want Hunt to leave. Hun keeps his mouth shut, knowing that if he starts an argument, it's only going to delay his activities with Bryce longer. They're going to get in trouble, he's going to go to the office and.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

In his brain it's just going horny, horny now horny. I'm horny. And that's all he can hear.

[Natalie Jean]

Paxing's like, do you know you're saying that out loud?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh God.

[Natalie Jean]

Vaccine almost seems to be making small talk with Hunt, which is weird. It doesn't feel very super villain of him. Asking him about the beer selection and looking at takeout menus. Hunt's about to bail when Baxian asks him about the game console that's sitting in the commons room. Hunt explains that it's an Opticube, obviously.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I can't believe you didn't even know that. Yeah. Mansplain Adam Hunt.

[Natalie Jean]

When Vaccine looks confused, Hunt realizes that he doesn't maybe even know what the gaming system is. And suddenly he has a little bit of sympathy coursing through him. He sees a guy who has been caught in the middle ages for centuries, who Knows about technology. He's experienced it, but not. He doesn't. At the same time, it's foreign to him. And he remembers his first time in Midgard and how he didn't know what a cell phone was and had to be explained to him.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, my God. It is. It's clueless.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, not Midgard. Lunathian.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Lunathian meets Encino man, also there. Yes. Wow. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Who? Brendan Fraser in that movie. That did a lot for me and Sean Astin. Good Lord. One movie.

[Natalie Jean]

Pretty foxy.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Couldn't get enough.

[Natalie Jean]

All right, calm down. Pollock sneers into the room, suddenly dragging all of his manscaping accessories because he is moving into his new dorm room.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Aw, where are your parents? You have your extra long sheets. It's so weird that there's the extra long sheets only in dorms, but then you don't ever have it and ever need them at any other point in your life. Are there extra long sheets? I mean, at least the Florida State they had, you had to get twin XLs specifically to fit dorm room beds. Why?

[Natalie Jean]

I guess just to sell more products.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I. Yeah, I think it is, literally. Which I. It's crazy, man. Capitalism's really good at it, huh?

[Natalie Jean]

They love coming up with dumb things you have to buy.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Good for them, I guess. I mean, I guess you can't beat it.

[Natalie Jean]

So now Pollux is here. He's moving in, maybe with extra long sheets, we don't know. He watches Baxian Hunt. Watches Baxian not really react to Pollux sort of almost ignoring him, seemingly not thrilled to see him, which is interesting to. As Baxian opens the door to his new room, which is also Justinian's old room, Han can't help but see Justinian's tortured face on the crucifix, and panic floods through him anew.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, my gosh.

[Natalie Jean]

Of a pts.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, of course. How is he not subjected to the horrible things he's seen in his brain all the time?

[Natalie Jean]

I think you have to. I think you get used to it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's just like. It's hard enough talking for a living and just remembering randomly when the lightning strikes of something like a joke not landing or something, you maybe misspoke or something like that. But then it's like hundreds of years of torturing people. Oh, it's like he's probably got a zanny prescription. As long as day is long.

[Natalie Jean]

I hate when I hear anything I've done and then I think of a really funny bit to add to it. In after it's already like been put out. And then I feel really mad at myself. And like, wow, you have all of these comedians in your family and you can't even appear funny in the moment. You fucking.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, we're not talking about ourselves like that anymore.

[Natalie Jean]

All I'm saying.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Beautiful bitch. I think that's how we talk about ourselves.

[Natalie Jean]

All I'm saying is that I'm just like Hunt and I've been through the same things.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You've been through the same things. Honestly, I'm glad I was gonna start comparing your background to his. Well, honestly, I think that's a thesis for a future show.

[Natalie Jean]

Okay, cool.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

We can't wait for it. Yeah, we need the receipts, you know.

[Natalie Jean]

So Baxian and Pollux retreat into their dorm rooms, the rooms that used to be in Hunt's friends rooms. And Hunt and Naomi, who is also there, Isaiah as comes. And they all just kind of come together in the room exhaustively. Sigh. Sit down and have a little Kiki. They're all very stressed about these newcomers. They're not pleased about it. And so they feel like they're having this talk because they feel kind of trapped. They touch on everything that has happened over the time period since the spring attack. And they ask Hunt. This is kind of the first time they've broached this that was he really going to rebel? Because if you'll recall, in the first book, he was on that boat.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

And it broke my heart.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, dude. The boat that killed us. Yeah, I boat who killed me.

[Natalie Jean]

Is that a reference to the Lindsay Lohan project from 2008?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. Yep, it is. And also, it doesn't make any sense.

[Natalie Jean]

In my mind, she's replaced by two boats playing the same boat.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Natalie Jean]

That's great.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's like two mini yachts and they're smashing into each other. But then I think everybody would see it happen and be like, yeah, we all know who bought you.

[Natalie Jean]

Man. Just no one wants to take our ideas.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I know. And it's like, man, we are slinging them non stop over here.

[Natalie Jean]

So they ask him, was he really going to take that rebellion again? Was he gonna do this again? And he telled, he told them he was not lying, that he had truly changed his mind by that point. And. And he still feels this way, that it wasn't right for him to try to rebel again. But I think it's more because he started to get horny. Price.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. And I think he started thinking about a future he did.

[Natalie Jean]

That was more so I think it's.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Like, for the first time ever, he was allowed to start thinking about a future.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. He was horny for a future.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, Natalie.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. With his emotions. And so he had really changed his mind. But, you know, he doesn't tell them about Sophie and Emil in this moment, but he's opening up to them, and he kind of secretly wishes this whole side plot would disappear because he feels guilty. Kind of almost like he's betraying his friends again, putting them at risk again.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

As they wrap up their conversation, Isaiah mentions he also is moving out of the Ox, and Celestina has given them the option to. Unlike Micah, who made them all live there. Hunt's happy for him, but his thoughts are now spiraling. So he's having this kind of casual conversation, and. But inside, he doesn't like lying to his friends, and he knows that everything is about to come crashing down on the. Nothing is. And he's sort of like going. But in the. In the forefront, he's going like, wow, cool. That's awesome, man. Congratulations. And in the back of his brain, he's like, yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, just. Yeah. Thinking of everything falling down around him and. Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah. It's the ptsd. Once you get trapped in that, you know, the spiral in your brain, you know, you can't get out of it.

[Natalie Jean]

That's seen in the Craft.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Whenever I bind you, Natalie.

[Natalie Jean]

No. The frizz of bulk gets thrown into the glass, and then the glass shatters down and sort of mind breaking.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Whoa. Hell, yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

I forget what her character's name is.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Nancy, man. Her eyes. Her fucking crazy, batshit eyes.

[Natalie Jean]

I always wanted them so bad as a kid.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's her fault. All of the crazy women I've slept with, it's her fault. It's the eyes. I love it when I'm like, ooh, you look like, ooh. You don't know how to control the things you say.

[Natalie Jean]

You don't even exist to me.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

God, the Craft, so good.

[Natalie Jean]

I love the Craft forever. So let's see. I want to go watch. Let's go watch the Craft.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Dress like this, though. I'd like to maintain.

[Natalie Jean]

I think it fits.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I think I'm going to start wearing this wig all the time.

[Natalie Jean]

It's very cute.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I'm feeling it.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. You look good.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Thank you.

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[Natalie Jean]

So he's having this big spiral. They can see he's distressed, even though he's trying to hide it and ask if he's okay. He's like, are you okay, buddy? He's like, yeah, yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's just actively, like, sweating bullets. Yeah, yeah. Oh, of course. Yeah. No, I'm all good. But, like, how do you hide that from, like, I feel like the wings would give it away. Like, don't you think they would, like, fluff up a little bit? Like, the more upset he would get, like, do you think that the wings ever give it away?

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, I could see that.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I feel like if he's not able to control it, like, in a situation like this because he's in front of his friends, it's not like he's in the middle of, like, a professional. Well, they sense it.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, they sensed it. It's later that evening, and Bryce and Hunt are lying in her bed pretty awkwardly. We're with Bryce's POV at this point, and she's recalling how earlier in the evening she was left alone to have dinner with Ethan and how he was pensive and didn't seem to want to talk about anything that had happened that day. Of course, he had just broken her table and he pulled an Ethan. But they found these papers, so it's almost as though Erd was calling him to be a dork.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Whoa. Yeah. Oh, is that he's at least saying that it's earned. Yeah. Not me and my boy. Wolf choices.

[Natalie Jean]

No, no, no.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So although he did jump up on it like he was Bruce Springsteen playing guitar and jumping up onto the piano. I'm just throwing it out there. I'm just saying, I know that you're not into him.

[Natalie Jean]

We're with Bryce now. And she's recalling how earlier in the evening she was left with Ethan. She is now laying with Hunt. The whole evening's been awkward. So she kind of just went over through Danica's papers again because Ethan wasn't speaking with her at dinner. And so now she's way out of the mood because she's deeply saddened and confused by finding Danika's stuff in the middle of her table for some reason. And so as she had been going through that, now she's like, they're laying in bed together, and she's, like, not feeling super horned up because of everything.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

What? What? Are there a couple of things going on?

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. So they're in the dark, in bed, just sort of like both laying awake. Syrinx is snoring between them. Acting as a modesty pillow, apparently.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It.

[Natalie Jean]

That's a bundling pillow, traditionally. I know that from Deadwood, for whatever reason. Not important. They're talking quietly in the dark, discussing Bryce's decision to help Cormac and how she wants to find any info she can on Danika. Bryce tells him she can't do this without him. Hunt, likely showing his trepidation, assures her that he wants to help her, but he's struggling with the fear of something happening to her. He's Bill. He's telling her the truth. Like, she. She needs. He knows that she needs him, and he wants to do this, but he's in full panic mode right now. And she's not angry with him. But he does tell her he will help her, but they need to come up with a solid exit plan. Like, promise me this much, Bryce. Like.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And how are they going to do that? Yeah, how are you going to do that, guys?

[Natalie Jean]

She agrees, but she says, I don't want to plan this right now. In the middle of the night, right.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Before you go to sleep?

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. She turns towards him and finds him watching her on his side, his chin propped up in his hand. She gets butterflies, tells him to stop being so attractive. Hunt smiles, pleased with himself, but then admits he feels weird hooking up with Ethan in the other room, which is actually really sweet.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But I do feel like if I was that horny, I've certainly done that many a time. I don't care.

[Natalie Jean]

You have a lot of times. You have a lot of roommates. What are you gonna do?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, but also, we never had roommates with extra sensitive hearing, though.

[Natalie Jean]

That we know of.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That we know of. I mean, at least nobody came complaining to me.

[Natalie Jean]

There are some people I live with in. In Brooklyn who look like they were maybe some kind of street creature. You know what I mean?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Hell, yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Could have been a wolf.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, Natalie.

[Natalie Jean]

Or a V. They could have been vampires. Not like the sexy kind but, like, kind of the, like. Oh, you're, like, from some sort of, like, sub basement that you've arisen from.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep talking. Yeah, I know.

[Natalie Jean]

That's your type. Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So dusty. Dusty.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. Some of those. Some of those apartments were pretty gross.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Love a creaky, crusty crevice.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, I have so many. I can introduce you from my past. Wow. So me thinks they're both stalked. Bawling on this a little bit. I'll say. I think they're both scared how much the act of sex will shift their feelings.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Natalie Jean]

And how much it will take their focus away from all of these other things going on.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Natalie Jean]

This is a big deal to them. Bryce can tell he is not protesting that much about hooking up. When she smells his scent shift.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh.

[Natalie Jean]

She tells him if he's so bothered by having Ethan in the room over to just be quiet. They could probably still, you know. He sighs and he tells her, I. I have to be honest with you, babe. It's been a while since I've been with someone.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Babe, it's okay.

[Natalie Jean]

So.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Care if I touch it and it splits? Don't you kind of like it with the wig on, though? Yeah, it's cute. Explode that.

[Natalie Jean]

You don't understand what coming is.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, that's like.

[Natalie Jean]

I feel like that's my favorite one. It's like kind of a baby.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. I just feel like it's. I, I. You know, it's a new seduction that I'm working on. What's a button? How do I take the pants off?

[Natalie Jean]

Ew.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's because I'm an alien. Natalie. I'm not a baby.

[Natalie Jean]

She's just.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I'm an alien. I'm like a backseat. It's like. Yeah. I'm just, like, living in a different time. Okay.

[Natalie Jean]

She's like, technically. Technically, I think she's, like, 4,000 years old, but she's an alien.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Thank you. And I've tried a lot of things. I just don't know how you do it on Earth.

[Natalie Jean]

It's kind of like Earth, girls are easy.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Like the reverse gender.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

I don't know if anybody remembers that movie, but it is amazing. And does it hold up?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

When was the last time you watched it? Is it one of those. Okay, so it does, like.

[Natalie Jean]

It's ridiculous.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's crazy. Yeah. I remember. I haven't seen it in, I think, like, 30 years.

[Natalie Jean]

It's pretty great. There's. There's songs in the middle of it for some reason.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, okay. I'll give it Another watch. Oh, man.

[Natalie Jean]

It's good. Okay, so, yeah, now you're making me think of Earth. Girls are easy with your. So, yeah, he sells her. He hasn't been with somebody in a while. They go into this sort of flirtatious discussion. And Bryce thinks about how this is the longest she's gone without sex since she was 17. She's not counting the couch session she had with Hunt as sex, which is fair. Since she was. Since he was, like, bleeding out and barely conscious for it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, I don't know if that one counts. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

But she basically is saying this is the longest since she lost her virginity or. I actually really love that SGM doesn't use the word virginity because that's sort of just like, not a real thing. But since her first time is what she says in the book. So she's gone a minute without having sex, and she's like, okay, well, he's saying the same thing. She asks how long it's been for him, even while feeling a stabbing sort of jealousy at him ever having wanted anyone else, which is so relatable. Like, I feel like you can be. I'm mature about people having. Like, I don't want somebody to have never had a partner before. But, like, in those moments, you're like, oh, yeah, you. You thought she was pretty. Huh?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Especially when you're laying throbbing next to each other and you haven't gone all the way. I mean, it's like, that's not. You don't want to be thinking about them banging somebody else. But you also, like, want to know.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hunt reveals. It's been six whole months.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, my God. How can he handle himself?

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, six months.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I mean, I will say I don't know if I've gone six months, I think, since my first. Well, originally, I guess. Yeah. Up top. There was quite a few. There was times I had in between phases.

[Natalie Jean]

But there was a point when I. Because I was single for, like, six or seven years in my adult life, and in the middle. And there were a couple times where I didn't have sex for maybe that long, and I thought I was. And then I would make very bad decisions.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Of course you do, because you kind of go crazy.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. Yeah. I made some choices.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

So she's a little shocked. She was going to guess. He was going to say it's been, like, years and years. Especially because he's very old. So old.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I love that it's only been six months.

[Natalie Jean]

But honestly, to me, it would have been a lot weirder. If he was like, I haven't had sex since Shahar, I'd be like, ugh.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Because then it's like, well, then I don't know if I can be the next one.

[Natalie Jean]

Like, yeah, I feel like that's a lot of pressure. I feel like you need to, like, go have some sex. Nameless sex with people or something. For a minute.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Natalie Jean]

But he didn't do that. He was. He reminds her he was not celibate after Shahar. So who was the lucky lady then?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Or male, she supposed. She'd assumed he preferred females, but it was entirely possible he also an inf.

[Natalie Jean]

At a bar. She was from out of town and didn't recognize me.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Bryce's fingers curled as if invisible claws appeared at their tips.

[Natalie Jean]

Nymph, huh?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But also do love it that it's like anger fingers curled, horny toes curl. So this is. That's how, you know, always look to the extremities. Look to the phalanges. See how they crimp.

[Natalie Jean]

Look to the digits. Are they straight or are they curly? Bryce has a mini mental spiral in that moment, wondering if Hunt preferred the waifish form of the nymph. So, like, the body type that she, quote, should have had for ballet, very relatable also. Oh, do you. Am I too, like. Am I too much for you?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Like, fucking hot as shit and curvy as fuck.

[Natalie Jean]

But especially growing up in the, like, becoming a young adult in the 2000s.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And in ballet, I mean, always being told that, like, your curves are wrong, body is wrong.

[Natalie Jean]

I was never skinny enough for. For Runway. They'd always tell me that ridiculous. But yeah, I mean, just in the culture. I mean, did, like, diet culture in the 2000s was fucked up and, like.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

What do you mean, have a snack wells?

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Just the chemical. The chemical combination.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Chemical diet cookie. You'll be fine, man. We used to eat them by the hoard full.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, yeah, we had a lot of snack wells. Those devil's food ones.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, those devil's food ones, which. I don't know what they tasted like, but we ate a lot of them.

[Natalie Jean]

There was not real food in them, that's for sure.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, I guess it was made by the devil.

[Natalie Jean]

The devil would allow you to have sugar.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I know that's the thing. The devil wouldn't do that to you.

[Natalie Jean]

No, Very, very much so. Bryce has this many breakdown thinking, like, oh, God, he loves, like, a very skinny wayfish woman. Which is also fine if you're a skinny, wavish woman.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But of course, you're Comparing. I mean, it's all the feelings.

[Natalie Jean]

She thinks about. Sandriel, the twin to his former lover. And how slender she. Slender. She's so slender because she never saw Shahar. She doesn't look up pictures of her because she doesn't want to know, but she knows that she looks like Sandriel. And Sandriel was like, you know, lean little waif.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Bryce added, if only because she wanted him to feel a shred of the misery that now coursed through her.

[Natalie Jean]

Lion shifter in the bathroom at the White Raven girl.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay, okay. You're just like, yeah, me too. Yeah, well, I also. I. Yeah, don't worry about it.

[Natalie Jean]

And mine was like, a little bit closer than yours was.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, it was like, crass. Like, it was just like crazy how crazy I am.

[Natalie Jean]

She's pleased to hear the sharpness in Hunt's voice, as though he was green with envy that she had had to sex with someone while they knew each other. No matter that he acted like he hated her at the time because she just. He, like. As she says this, he asks, you mean, like right before the. Like when we were there? And she's like, yeah. Huh.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Still had his juices on me.

[Natalie Jean]

So she begins to torture him by explaining that she sometimes likes males to take charge in certain circumstances.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Interest. Interesting.

[Natalie Jean]

Despite hating alpha holes, which I think you know where this is going.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

I think you might be hearing a little bit of this very long, I think, six page scene that's about to take place.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're gonna hear maybe not from the people you want it to be from.

[Natalie Jean]

Or maybe you will. Who knows? I'm not trying to.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I don't know what you're into.

[Natalie Jean]

After their engagement, which is one half a cog block, according to our research.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Thank you. I agree.

[Natalie Jean]

I agree.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It is half a block, though, for sure.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But also, I feel like kind of a whole of a block because I do feel like Hunt is the kind of partner that, like, relishes in making somebody else come for sure. But I would assume.

[Natalie Jean]

I think he enjoyed himself.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. No, I mean, it was. It wasn't looking a gift dick in the mouth because it was busy looking at it. Yeah. Oh, he was.

[Natalie Jean]

He was.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

All right.

[Natalie Jean]

We all understand what an oral sex job is, right?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, Natalie explained it to me. Natalie, be the alpha hole I know you to be, man. Splain it to me. Natalie, what about oral sex? Where does it go? What do they do?

[Natalie Jean]

Any. Any hole, really.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay, good to know. Is this is good to know?

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. They have Both exhausted themselves and gone to sleep. After this interaction, they get interrupted by the wolf boy. They kind of. Well, Bryce basically cuts it off. Hunt is like, what? His mind is blown to smithereens, and then they both go to sleep. Later on in the night, we're with Hunt's thoughts. He seems to either be lucid dreaming or is being visited by. By three ghosts. I brought it back to My Christmas Carol. Not really. He's not being visited by three ghosts, but he is being visited by something or someone.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay.

[Natalie Jean]

He's in a room. He. He's like, this is not a normal dream. And he finds himself in a folding chair. It's in a darkened room. There's no other indicators of where he might be, but he's on a chair. And there's sounds of leathery rustling. He can't move. Unfortunately, the only mobility he seems to have is in his neck, which is a bunch of different, like, sleeping paranoia, things like fears, like. What's it called?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Sleep paralysis.

[Natalie Jean]

Sleep paralysis.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah. It's scary. It is scary.

[Natalie Jean]

Have you ever had it?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. Can't move your body. I've never seen, like, the man with the hat or anything like that, but I've. I've experienced sleep paralysis twice. And I just woke up and couldn't move. Like, I just couldn't move my whole body and was very. And I just felt like someone was watching me. Like, it just felt like I was in danger.

[Natalie Jean]

Was it me in this costume?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, it was. I was like, natalie, get the fuck out of my room.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, but I'm magica.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, you're not. Unless you're giving me a bunch of mushrooms or whatever it is that you're on. Get the hell out of here.

[Natalie Jean]

It's just regular mushrooms to put on pizza.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, well, I mean, I'm down with that.

[Natalie Jean]

Hell, yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I'm a fun guy. Everybody loves that joke.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, because of the fungi mushroom? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So he's silly, paralysized in this chair, and there is a voice that tells him that a greater warrior would have already figured out how to free himself by now. So he is stuck in this place, and he's kind of like, what the is that? What's going on? And there's just this voice taunting him. This voice telling him that he, a greater warrior, would have freed himself by now. Has a double meaning, as we will learn. The voice calls him Orion. So this voice knows who he is. But Hunt corrects this being. I'm Hunt. The being seems intrigued by the nickname, because, of course, he Goes, ah, because Orion is a hunter. Hunt asks again who this being is? Who are you? The only thing that it says to him is that people don't speak his name.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

On Hunt's planet, Hunt stilled. There was only one being whose name was not uttered in Midgard. The Prince of the Pit, Apollyon.

[Natalie Jean]

I just realized that I have been saying his name wrong this whole time. I've been saying. I've been calling the Prince of the Pit Apollonian. I've never noticed it until now.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay, yeah, no, I see. I understand. But I understand why your brain would do that, though now I have to.

[Natalie Jean]

Like, rewire my head. Apollyon.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Polyon. I couldn't remember it was a Polyon or Apollyon.

[Natalie Jean]

Apollyon. Apollyon hunts whatever. I don't know. Hunts panic thoughts.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I don't know. You guys don't know either? He's from the book. I'll make it up.

[Natalie Jean]

Hunt's panic thoughts seem to be heard by Apollyon.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yes. Good. Yes.

[Natalie Jean]

I guess it's like Napoleon, but with an A. Yeah, but he's bigger and.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He'S under the sea. But he's under the earth. He's not under the earth. He's, like, around.

[Natalie Jean]

Hell is not under.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's under, and it's in, and it's on.

[Natalie Jean]

Technically, we don't know if he's sure. He could be.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. Who knows? I feel like if you can be anything, then, you know, you get to.

[Natalie Jean]

Try it all, try it out. He quickly clarifies to Hunt that he is not inside of Hunt's heads, but he is somehow reading, I guess, Hunt's thoughts. In this moment, his thoughts are being transmitted, according to Apollyon, almost like radio waves to him, which doesn't seem a whole lot better than being inside of his head. It's kind of. He's still in his head.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. Either way, it would freak me the hell out.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. He tries to gather himself and ask why he was brought here by Apollyon, even as he realizes this creature is powerful enough that he killed one of the Asteri. So he's a little freaked out. Polyon tells Hunt that he brought him here to, quote, check on his progress. What the f. Could that possibly mean? We don't know.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, my God. Just be straight up with me.

[Natalie Jean]

No. Another Riddler.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Good.

[Natalie Jean]

Angered Hun basically tells him to stop being a Riddler. But a Riddler can't cease. And in the gist of their conversation, Riddle don't diddle.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You know what I mean?

[Natalie Jean]

I hope not. What is a riddler if not riddling? That's a riddle for you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh.

[Natalie Jean]

The gist of their conversation is that Apollon is telling Hunt that he and Bryce have powers that they're not using. That they have some mysterious connection to Hell, it seems, or. Or some greater connection to the universe.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I need more than that.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, that's pretty sick. And I'd be like, yeah, I figured I was pretty special. I've always known I was special. But what do you mean exactly? And Napoleon tells him he can sense war is on the horizon and that the northern rift will open once again. The northern rift, as a reminder, is this great tear in the space time continuum at their version of the North Pole on Midgarden.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I don't think they want it to open. No.

[Natalie Jean]

Hunt takes this, in fact, as a threat and tells Napoleon that he's not going to submit to Hell, nor will Midgard. He takes this all as like Apollyon saying, we're coming to getcha. But it doesn't feel exactly like a threat, since he seems to be encouraging Hunt to access this mysterious well of power, though Hunt doesn't seem to know what he's talking about, but it's almost as though Apollyon's encouraging him to go figure it out. Hunt shoots awake and is on high alert, his instincts in fight or flight realizing that all is seemingly well in the bedroom. Like he. He woke up from this jolting dream. He is. He grabs once, goes to grab for his knife. And then he realizes Bryce and Syrinx are fast asleep next to him. He watches Bryce sleep and thinks about what just happened. Rattled, not able to make sense of this visit, he simply pulls Bryce in closer to him, wishing he could protect her from whatever was about to rain down upon them all. And we're going to end here because you guys are going to be tickled by the voice.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Ivories.

[Natalie Jean]

Is that teeth?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, I think it's their teeth. Yeah, I guess you get tickled by their ivories then. Good luck. I guess. I. I think it'll be good for you.

[Natalie Jean]

Chitter and chatter all across your skin. Oh, God. Making things a lot worse. All right, we should just go.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Get out of here. And now, introducing dudes Grappling with Erotica featuring Marcus Parks and Henry Zabrowski.

[Marcus Parks]

All right, Quinlan, he said against her skin.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I'm thoroughly jealous.

[Marcus Parks]

She chuckled. So am I. He kissed the inside of her wrist, lips grazing over sensitive flesh.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Before we went off on this stupid tangent, I was trying to warn you that it's been a While so I might be fast. He nipped at her wrist. Be loud, asshole.

[Marcus Parks]

She laughed, running her fingers over his smooth, unmarked brow. I could gag you.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hunt barked out a laugh. Please tell me you're not into that.

[Marcus Parks]

She let out a for real. He sat up slowly.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She laid back against the pillows, arms behind her head.

[Marcus Parks]

I'll try anything once.

[Henry Zabrowski]

A muscle throbbed in his neck. All right, let's start with the basics. That gets boring. I promise to find ways to keep you interested.

[Marcus Parks]

That doesn't get rid of the problem of Ethan's keen hearing. He shifted against the bed and Bryce found the blatant evidence of his interest pushing against his tight boxer briefs. Solace. He was huge.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She laughed softly, sitting up as well.

[Marcus Parks]

It really has been a while. He trembled, though with restraint.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Tell me yes, Bryce.

[Marcus Parks]

Shewitt moaten at the raw need in his words. I want to touch you first.

[Henry Zabrowski]

That's not a yes.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I want your yes.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Yes. Fuck yes. Now your turn.

[Marcus Parks]

She only smirked, Pressing a surprisingly steady hand to his bare muscled chest, he.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Allowed her to push him back against the pillows.

[Marcus Parks]

I'll say yes when I've had my fill.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hunt let out a low, rough noise.

[Marcus Parks]

Not too late for a gag. Oh my God, bryce murmured, pressing a kiss to his chest.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Hunt was gonna burst out of his skin. He couldn't stand it. The sight of Bryce now straddling his thighs, wearing nothing but an old soft T shirt. The silken glide of her hair over his bare chest as she pressed a.

[Marcus Parks]

Kiss between his pecs, pressed another near his nipple.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Thank you.

[Marcus Parks]

There was another person in this apartment, one with exceptional hearing, and he Bryce's.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Lips close around his left nipple, wet heat sending Hunt's lips straining towards hers.

[Marcus Parks]

She flicks her tongue across the taut bud and Hunt hissed sake. She laughed around his nipple, then moved to the other. Your chest is as big as mine, she muttered.

[Henry Zabrowski]

Whatever.

[Marcus Parks]

You got big tits. I got for a man.

[Henry Zabrowski]

I have man tits. A big man breasts. That's the least sexy thing anyone has.

[Marcus Parks]

Ever said to me, he managed to say.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She dug her long nails into his chest, the pain a light, singeing kiss. His cock throbbed in response. God spare him. He wouldn't last a minute.

[Marcus Parks]

Bryce kissed his right ribs, ran her tongue along the muscles there. How do you get these stupid muscles anyway?

[Henry Zabrowski]

Exercise. Why was she talking? Why was he talking? His hand shook and he fisted them in the sheets.

[Marcus Parks]

Syrinx had leapt off the bed, trotting to the bathroom and kicking the door shut with a hind leg. Smart guy. Mira. Her tongue teased over his left ribs, trailing downward as her fingers traced lines along his chest, his stomach.

[Henry Zabrowski]

She kissed his belly button and her head hovered mere inches from the edge of his boxer briefs, so close he was about to erupt at the sight.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Please read up until chapter 23 for next week. Sam.

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