LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City
HOSAB / Episode 15: Down Where It's Wetter
Hosts: Natalie Jean & Jackie Zebrowski
Release Date: September 16, 2025
Main Theme & Episode Overview
This episode "Down Where It's Wetter" continues the hosts’ irreverent, sharp, and deeply enthusiastic breakdown of Sarah J. Maas's "Crescent City: House of Sky and Breath" (HOSAB), focusing on the latest underwater court dramas, power plays among the river queens, and a heavy dose of romantic antics both swoony and snarky. Natalie and Jackie remix pop-culture references (especially The Little Mermaid), character deep-dives, and wild speculation with the book’s plot, all in their signature unfiltered, comedic tone.
Key themes include:
- The River Queen’s manipulations and parenting style (and her daughter’s predicament)
- Rune’s fraught relationship with his father, the Autumn King
- The team’s strategic efforts to locate Emil and deal with the Reaper threat
- Bryce and Hunt’s deepening romantic bond (with a major "I love you" moment, mate talk, and steamy gym scene)
- The group’s camaraderie and emotional fallout from Danika’s secrets
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. River Queen, Her Daughter, and Tharion’s Ordeal
Timestamps: 03:10–22:34
- Natalie and Jackie riff on the River Queen’s daughter as a character, imagining fun/absurd alternate versions (e.g., “Jackie’s version of River Queen’s daughter—she fucks!” – Jackie, 03:24).
- Discussion of the River Queen’s sheltering, overbearing parenting style—“She has a helicopter mom who won’t allow her to become an adult. And so she doesn’t even know how toxic she is...out here putting her radiation out into the river.” – Jackie, 05:32.
- Parallels drawn to The Little Mermaid and Ursula: the River Queen’s court is quirky, menacing, and full of threat (with her flotsam-and-jetsam-coded Sobeck guards).
- Tharion is being punished and humiliated for his entanglements with the River Queen’s daughter—relegated to riverbank trash detail as a public shaming (“You were thinking with that mer dick of yours, bro.” – Natalie, 21:09).
- Amid the jokes, the dynamic is examined as both tragic and darkly funny—a gilded, destructive cage for the daughter and Tharion’s longing for the surface and autonomy.
2. Power Struggles & Motivations
Timestamps: 12:01–18:39, 16:15–17:26
- Why does everyone want Emil? “So bad under there. But I mean, can’t it conduct?...this is what happens when you don’t let your daughters have education.” (16:00)
- River factions: The four rivers and their queens, Greek myth references, and how boredom and vanity create new power games.
- Natalie and Jackie discuss the typical mythological underpinning—“Who wants to live forever because you get bored eventually. Maybe it is just that they want the Thunderbird. Just because, like, I want to be involved in the conversation.” – Natalie, 16:37.
3. Rune, the Autumn King, and Sibling Power Games
Timestamps: 23:38–31:13
- Rune confronts the Autumn King about the star sword and recent events, with his father oscillating between scorn and sudden interest when sensing power shifts.
- The Autumn King’s view: sibling rivalry is inevitable; all interactions are power contests.
- Notable exchange:
- “Perhaps the reapers...were reacting because the star sword is said to be made from the metals of another planet.” – Jackie, 28:11
- “It’s like, man, Autumn King can come up with something to be upset with Ruhn about. That’s crazy.” – Natalie, 31:42
- The segment is rich with fantasy politics but filtered through Natalie and Jackie’s sarcasm, e.g., questioning why all these immortals are so empty and competitive.
4. Relational Fallout & Romantic Bonds
Timestamps: 36:19–88:34
A. Cormac, Bryce, and Teleporting/Fae Powers
- Cormac’s teleporting (a.k.a. wormholing or "winnowing") is revealed, much to Bryce and Hunt’s shock.
- “Hans Shook. And if you’re an Acotar reader, you might know this phenomenon as winnowing. But since we are in cyberpunk land, it’s called teleporting here. Cool.” – Jackie, 43:41
- Cormac will teach Bryce to teleport—uncertain, but a test of her starborn potential.
B. Group Camaraderie and Danika’s Lingering Secrets
- The group strategizes: Declan and Ethan dig through surveillance footage for Reaper activity and Danika’s secrets. The hosts lean into the sadness of withholding/found family (“It’s a little trash that Danica maybe kept some of it from her…” – Jackie, 55:10).
- Humor and pain blend as they discuss missed opportunities for closeness, the “bean-counting” of power among the Fae, and Rune’s protective brotherly concerns.
C. Sunball, Group Dynamics & Ethan’s Longing
- The crew decompresses while watching sunball; Ethan’s trauma/nostalgia for his brother and sunball career emerges in a moving exchange:
- “What would you have picked?” “Bryce.” – Rune & Ethan, 64:30–64:34
- Natalie and Jackie mock the idea of men having deep heart-to-hearts like this, but acknowledge the earnestness and vulnerability permeating the scene.
D. Bryce & Hunt: Steamy Gym Scene and The "I Love You"
- Gym antics segue into major emotional revelations: Bryce blurts out “I love you” during an intimate moment, stunning Hunt, who reciprocates, noting he hasn’t heard those words since his mother (“Shahar was cold, man...I feel like I hate to break this to you. I think she loved the cause...” – Natalie, 81:48).
- The weight of Fae “mate” terminology: Hunt proposes “mate” instead of boyfriend/lover. Bryce explains the permanent and cosmic connotations for the Fae, making this a huge threshold.
- “If he’s not her mate, then no one is.” – Jackie, 87:09
- “His mate. His. And he was hers. It wouldn’t have surprised him if her name were stamped on his heart.” – Natalie, 87:39
- Both joke and swoon over what a “sunball home run” of intimacy might finally look like for Bryce and Hunt.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “This bitch, Jackie’s version of the River Queen’s daughter—she fucks.” – Jackie (03:24)
- “She has a helicopter mom who won’t allow her to become an adult, and so she doesn’t even know how toxic she is.” – Jackie (05:32)
- “You were thinking with that mer dick of yours, bro.” – Natalie (21:09)
- “I don’t know these things, Mom. I don’t know how the electricity gets in it in the water, how it goes through it, goes in it with it or around.” – Natalie, (16:00)
- “No, no. All brains in there. No matter how big that head is.” – Jackie, (21:24)
- “You could sell me for $5. That’s what being a wife is, isn’t it? Being an annoying, beautiful irritation.” – Jackie, (22:04)
- “It’s like, man, Autumn King can come up with something to be upset with Ruhn about. That’s crazy.” – Natalie, (31:42)
- “Game or girl? Game or girl? That’s the age-old question.” – Jackie, (63:42)
- “What would you have picked?” “Bryce.” – Rune & Ethan, (64:30–64:34)
- “If he’s not her mate, then no one is.” – Jackie, (87:09)
- “Maidhood doesn’t have one definition, so they’re not sure how to tell, but it feels right to them.” – Jackie, (87:23)
- “His mate, his. And he was her. It wouldn’t have surprised him if her name were stamped on his heart.” – Natalie, (87:39)
Important Segment Timestamps
- River Queen’s Daughter & Tharion: 03:10–22:34
- Emil’s Importance & Factional Power: 12:01–18:39, 16:15–17:26
- Rune & Autumn King’s Power Struggle: 23:38–31:13
- Cormac, Teleporting, and Bryce: 36:19–47:12
- Group Dynamics/Footage Review: 49:43–63:42
- Sunball vs. Reality TV & Ethan’s Longing: 56:14–64:37
- Bryce/Hunt Gym & Love Confession: 66:07–88:34
- Mate Discussion: 86:27–88:12
Tone & Style
Expect gleeful irreverence, a blend of pop-culture and high fantasy banter, and a willingness to veer into raunchy or tender territory in seconds. Both hosts keep the energy high, riff on each other constantly, and are unafraid to break the fourth wall to connect with listeners' own emotional investments or fannish frustrations.
Summary
This episode is a quintessential LPN Crescent City experience: hilarious, packed with offbeat pop references, wildly tangential (yet always returning to the book’s core), and surprisingly heartfelt as the hosts analyze power, family dysfunction, and romance. The show covers some of the most emotionally significant plot beats yet (Tharion’s humiliation, Rune’s confrontation, escalating romantic stakes for Bryce and Hunt), all filtered through Natalie and Jackie’s unique, unfiltered lens.
Next Week:
Read up to Chapter 31 for the next episode.
