
DO we need to re-watch Popeye (1980)? Probably not but don't worry there's no Bluto or spinach OUT ON THE BRAIN BRIIIIIDGE!!! Bryce and Hunt don't think for a MOMENT before going to visit the Under King. Nobody's thinking this might not be a great idea?? You guys think he's gonna serve you lunch and have a kiki with you?? Do you think he's gonna show you his BONE GATE tattoo right above his skele-peeny? Honestly if he did, it would make it all worth it. Featuring Dudes Grappling with Erotica starring Jared Logan and Holden McNeely reading from Chapter 21. IT'S GITTIN SWEATY IN HURRRRRRRRRRRRR Please read up until Chapter 32 for next week!!! These Deep Dives are based on novels by Sarah J Maas. Intro music by Ryan Connor. Cover art by Jeff Nitzberg. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes.
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Narrator/Reader
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Natalie Jean
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Narrator/Reader
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Natalie Jean
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Jackie Zabrowski
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Natalie Jean
Whether you're pumped for pumpkin spice or hyped for Halloween, one thing's for sure. The autumnal bitchquinox is upon us and we're celebrating the harvest with a whole new crop of bituations at the fun call bitch a thon 2025 on Thursday, September 25th. We're taking your calls live from 4pm to 7pm Pacific time, 7 to 10pm for you east Coasters, it's all going down on our YouTube channel, YouTube.com who's the be? Subscribe now for updates and kick off spooky season with us at the Fall Bitch a thon 2025. See you bitches there. We're excited to announce that we're going to Prythian and Valbara and Bezgaeth if.
Jackie Zabrowski
You'Re nasty and you join us in.
Natalie Jean
Spring of 2026 at the Dreamers and Readers Festival, a three day event chock full of choose your own adventures, multiple Fae balls, fashion shows, photo shoots, Hoteez Everybody.
Jackie Zabrowski
At least 15 different events at the otherworldly Gaylord Texan Resort that you can customize to make the perfect trip fit your Fantasy Dreams.
Natalie Jean
Visit fantastiquecollection.com and use our code Faybayes at checkout to receive $10 off of.
Jackie Zabrowski
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Natalie Jean
Night 1 and 2 Mythical Creatures Masquerade, Fantastique Starfo Ball and the Farewell Fae Bash.
Jackie Zabrowski
Not only that, but if you use our code Faybay's at checkout for those events, you will receive an exclusive swag bag from the weekend.
Natalie Jean
I'll do anything for a swag bag, Natalie.
Jackie Zabrowski
Swag. Give it to me.
Natalie Jean
Yes, that's right. Use our code faybayes f a e b a e s@fantastiquecollection.com to get your $10 off of any of these events.
Jackie Zabrowski
Dreamers and readers, baby, I cannot wait for this.
Natalie Jean
Gimme, gimme.
Jackie Zabrowski
That's swag.
Natalie Jean
Welcome to Crescent City with your hosts, Natalie Jean and Jackie Zabrowski.
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh, could you actually tell who I am?
Natalie Jean
I assumed you were Agent Day. Yeah, yeah. You did great. Because I thought of the same. I was like, do I dress as Laba when I dressed as her? And I was like, I guess I'm just do a different take.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah. I tried to make her more. I see her as more yellow, but you can't tell from this vantage. I think it works. It has more yellow in it, and it's got golds. So it's. It's different.
Natalie Jean
It is different.
Jackie Zabrowski
It's different. How is that. How's that little guy on your face?
Natalie Jean
I hate it. This is horrible. I can't wait to take it off.
Jackie Zabrowski
It looks really heavy.
Natalie Jean
Yeah, it's very heavy. And it's just, like, weighing. It's all the weight is right here. So I imagine I'll probably have a headache in about three minutes.
Jackie Zabrowski
I mean, you have. It looks as though you have makeup on underneath that.
Natalie Jean
I do have makeup on underneath it, but the makeup, I'm gonna be real with you. I didn't know how to do under king makeup because then I started putting the white on my face, and I was like, well, I did that for the reapers. And I was like, I feel like they wouldn't look like the reapers. Like, I really. You know, it looks like I didn't think about this costume at all, but I did.
Jackie Zabrowski
I think you look great also. Are you worried they're going to be removed from the reality, the Versaille of the universe?
Natalie Jean
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
Take this off.
Natalie Jean
It's just if I take off the full. Now, if you're not watching the YouTube, I'm wearing a full face, bone, mouth. Half face. Bone mouth. Yeah, half face, bone, mouth. And I. But the problem is. Okay, I take it down, right?
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah.
Natalie Jean
And. And then you really. You get flat. Like, I'm getting flappy.
Jackie Zabrowski
I mean, that's. That's just the price you pay to wear a bald cap.
Natalie Jean
And you think, remember last time I did this, and I did this the entire time, and I thought, I'm going to get a different bald cap.
Jackie Zabrowski
You know, it's not that as much as it's actually. You wouldn't know. Can you believe people who get paid to put applications on? It's Cause it's hard.
Natalie Jean
It's.
Jackie Zabrowski
Cause it's really hard to do.
Natalie Jean
Whoa, wait a second.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah.
Natalie Jean
Do people have to get trained or something? And it's like a. Like a skill they work at for a really long time.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah, Dog.
Natalie Jean
And we don't have that skill, man. There's.
Jackie Zabrowski
I even say I don't have it.
Natalie Jean
It is interesting how not very often. I think we've kind now that we don't have to wear the ears all the time. I really can't live a life with prosthetics on my face when we do these episodes. But it's just because I don't. Can't properly apply them. You know what it is? It's not that I can't. It's that I don't have the patience. And I know you're supposed to really apply prosthetics and apply this kind of makeup with a patience and an attention to detail that I don't know if you're getting what we're putting down, but maybe attention to detail is not always our strong suits. What? But, you know, you gotta just shoot from the hit. Like, we're here. Like, oh, we're shooting from the hip. Flap. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm flapping from there.
Jackie Zabrowski
Aren't you excited? You can do that again, though?
Natalie Jean
Yeah. And I know everyone was hoping that I was gonna have another episode. Also, weirdly enough, this crown is very tight. No reason for it. I like it because it's actually.
Jackie Zabrowski
I think it works really well for the Under King.
Natalie Jean
Thank you.
Jackie Zabrowski
It's a good crown for him.
Natalie Jean
Thank you very much. It really does. Yeah. It's given under King.
Jackie Zabrowski
It looks like kind of a. It's giving a cemetery vi.
Natalie Jean
My God. Thank you. Natalie. You're. Are you already sweating?
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah, I'm wearing three wigs.
Natalie Jean
You have three wigs on. How do you, like. How does one come up with the concept of three wigs? Or was it the kind of thing that you looked at all three of the wigs? You're like, all of them. You just threw them in a bag.
Jackie Zabrowski
I was trying to get the balage of a flame.
Natalie Jean
Oh, I see it.
Jackie Zabrowski
But it mostly just looks like I have wearing. I'm wearing three wigs.
Natalie Jean
It does, but, like, in, like, a. Oh, is she made out of fire, or does she not know she has multiple wigs on? But, like, I think it ends. It lends an air of mystery to you. That really is Agent Day.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah, I definitely am giving an air of mystery.
Natalie Jean
I definitely don't like. I wouldn't know who you are.
Jackie Zabrowski
Who is that person? I should leave them alone.
Natalie Jean
Yeah. And it is. I do love the idea of just the overall concept of a little mask around your eyes. Like the one you have like a masquerade kind of mask.
Jackie Zabrowski
Masquerade.
Natalie Jean
That people would talk to you and be like, I have no idea that this is Natalie. You know, I love the air of. We all pretend like there's no way I could tell just with a little mask on somebody's face.
Jackie Zabrowski
It's pure Superman. Right. Isn't that like the.
Natalie Jean
Yeah. The glasses.
Jackie Zabrowski
Or like the Batman. You can't see. He puts a little flap on and they're like, who's.
Natalie Jean
Where's he putting the flap on?
Jackie Zabrowski
I think he's got a couple.
Natalie Jean
Oh, butt flap.
Jackie Zabrowski
You know, right now I'm giving acotar.
Natalie Jean
You are. It's very. It is Spring court coded.
Jackie Zabrowski
It is. We got. Somebody just responded on our comments to explain. Remember when I was singing Phantom of the Opera last time and we didn't know what put the hand. Love your eye means.
Natalie Jean
Yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
They said. And thank you for that comment that it is because the Phantom had just hung somebody with a noose. And so if you do this, I guess you're preventing the noose from coming around your neck.
Natalie Jean
Whoa. That's really awesome.
Jackie Zabrowski
I don't know if that's true, but I'm not checking.
Natalie Jean
I should think about that. Like, I guess in a new situation. Put your hands up. I said hams, but I guess if you have hams. Put your hands up too.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah, anything really.
Natalie Jean
Put your hands up.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah. Got three wigs. Put them on.
Natalie Jean
Yeah, exactly.
Jackie Zabrowski
It'll be harder to put it around.
Natalie Jean
Yeah. Oh, my God. Make your head bigger.
Jackie Zabrowski
Make your head bigger.
Natalie Jean
Always. Just in case someone's trying to lasso you. New style.
Jackie Zabrowski
Head bigger.
Natalie Jean
Harder to catch, harder to get. Which is the opposite of what I'm doing with my flaps and my tiny little crown. Because, man, nothing makes me realize how little my head is until I put a bald cap on. Little head. I've got little head syndrome.
Jackie Zabrowski
I think that's. As a woman, we want everything to be smaller. So isn't that. We just. I'm so tiny.
Natalie Jean
Oh, you're telling me. Should I bind my face? Yeah, I should start making. I'm like, start scrunching.
Jackie Zabrowski
Bind your head.
Natalie Jean
Yeah, make it littler. You look bad right now.
Jackie Zabrowski
Have you considered getting your head tightened?
Natalie Jean
Normal sized head.
Jackie Zabrowski
Be smaller, be cuter. That's what I always say.
Natalie Jean
I mean, I have a small head complex because of having an older brother who has referred to my small head since the beginning of time. And I will say I have had a haddest measure my head. And I have a normal size head. Yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
I don't think of your head as small.
Natalie Jean
Thank you. Thank you for seeing me. How are your many costumes? What is that? Is. What's that? I want to release you from this shroud.
Jackie Zabrowski
I just didn't put it all the way on. I was the gatekeeper for Halloween from Ghostbusters.
Natalie Jean
God, that costume.
Jackie Zabrowski
Costume.
Natalie Jean
You guys look so good.
Jackie Zabrowski
Thank you. It was pretty on point. This is that costume. But I didn't put it on my head, over my head because of all the weight.
Natalie Jean
Big head for the nooses.
Jackie Zabrowski
So I'm kind of just wrapping it around myself. It's. I'm wearing four or five costumes.
Natalie Jean
You're elegantly draped, I would say.
Jackie Zabrowski
Okay, we'll go with that.
Natalie Jean
Right.
Jackie Zabrowski
Bruhn is on the brain bridge at the start of chapter 20.
Natalie Jean
It's cool. This whole. I mean, this whole, like, living in the void, it's all weird and sexy. I don't. I can't quite wrap my head around it. This. Brain bridge.
Jackie Zabrowski
Brain bridge.
Natalie Jean
But I guess if you're in a brain bridge, you just got to go. Brain bridge.
Jackie Zabrowski
You got. Yeah. You can't question it.
Natalie Jean
No.
Jackie Zabrowski
No. He has fallen asleep on the couch at Bryce's as he thought about how he was thinking. You know, it was late at night. They'd been working on the surveillance videos all night. He decided to just crash there. And he was kind of thinking, as he was nodding off, about how Ethan actually seems like kind of a bro, even if he's a dumb, stinky old wolf.
Natalie Jean
Yeah. He might not be able to paw at the keyboard the way other boys can, but, you know.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yep.
Natalie Jean
He's. He's trying.
Jackie Zabrowski
And that's. You know, you got to give that credit. You got to appreciate somebody trying.
Natalie Jean
I will say he's not gonna get that credit forever, but right now, that's the credit he's got. Ethan only gets more annoying.
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh, but we don't know what that. If you haven't read. What does that mean?
Natalie Jean
I don't know.
Jackie Zabrowski
I don't know.
Natalie Jean
We're leaving it at that.
Jackie Zabrowski
They haven't found any more evidence. That evening, after going through hours and hours of footage. And Rune just decides he's gonna stay over because it's so late. And he's at Bryce's now. He's facing off with Agent Day Just like we are.
Natalie Jean
Hello. We're on the brain bridge. I had no idea. Get out of my brain bridge. Only Freddy Krueger lives in my brain bridge.
Jackie Zabrowski
You rather have Freddy Krueger?
Natalie Jean
Yeah, just cuz, honestly, the. The.
Jackie Zabrowski
The quips, the pun. You love a pun.
Natalie Jean
That's true. And I do love it when a tongue comes out of a telephone.
Jackie Zabrowski
Do ya?
Natalie Jean
Yeah. Yeah. Or I mean, do you?
Jackie Zabrowski
Do you?
Natalie Jean
Do you?
Jackie Zabrowski
Do I? Not really.
Natalie Jean
But I love getting licked at. When you don't know whose tongue it is.
Jackie Zabrowski
Do like veins that turn into puppet strings, though.
Natalie Jean
Whoa. Yeah, Yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
I assume that's now Asian Day looks like on this brain bridge, but you never know. So she's floating across the way, appearing in flame as usual, though he can make out long hair and thinks that he can see her sort of doing a half smile at him. Almost like a welcoming appearance.
Natalie Jean
Like this. Is that a half smile? Hey, I think I've given more Popeye.
Jackie Zabrowski
Very subtle. So that. That under King knows how to flirt.
Natalie Jean
Oh, my God. Don't get him smirking.
Jackie Zabrowski
Is he flirting? Is she flirting? Is he merkin? Is that a merkin?
Natalie Jean
Oh, yeah. You mean fake pussy hair. Oh, I mean, I do have one. I still have my chest hair from Ethan. That has been in my computer bag ever since we did that. I just kept this disgusting patch of pubic hair.
Jackie Zabrowski
How is he going to keep it?
Natalie Jean
And every time I put it happens like multiple times a week, I put my hand into my computer bag and I go, ugh. And I'm like, oh, it's that piece of hair. Why is it still in my bag? And then I continue on with my day.
Jackie Zabrowski
That's. That sounds right. What receptacle will it. Where's it. Do you have a merkin drawer?
Natalie Jean
I guess I need to start one.
Jackie Zabrowski
I think you should. That'd be awesome.
Natalie Jean
So it's for my chest hair, but it's my pussy hair.
Jackie Zabrowski
It could be as a reminder. She had appeared when Ruhn has been taken by the reapers in the sewer and was passed out. And she appeared in his mind trying to wake him up to get him to safety. And so this is the first time they're seeing each other since then. She asks him what happened, because at the time, she could tell that he was in near danger, but didn't know what was happening. It was almost as though she could.
Natalie Jean
Feel the bond, but like, also not. Yeah, like actually she wasn't actually connected to him.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah, she was somehow connected to him at the time. And he explains kind of what went Down. He doesn't really want to talk about it. Not ready to share personal stuff with Agent Day.
Natalie Jean
I mean, who knows who that bitch is.
Jackie Zabrowski
But what about that smile?
Natalie Jean
What about Miss Pilots?
Jackie Zabrowski
Does he have an accent?
Natalie Jean
Popeye. Popeye's American. Is Popeye American?
Jackie Zabrowski
I'm pretty sure he's, like, supposed to represent the most American pirates. No, he's supposed to be. I'm Popeye the sailor man. Toot, toot. He's supposed to be, like, an American sailor man.
Natalie Jean
So a positive pirate.
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh, blow me down.
Natalie Jean
I don't know, Popeye. I didn't know you felt this way.
Jackie Zabrowski
I can't say that I've actually seen a lot of Popeye.
Natalie Jean
Shaver. My spinach. I just know that it's spinach.
Jackie Zabrowski
I don't think he. I eats me spinach.
Natalie Jean
I just remember. I. You know what? I'm going to throw it out there. Do we rewatch the Robin Williams Popeye, or do we never.
Jackie Zabrowski
It's not good, but it's cool. They made an entire town into the Popeye village, and it's still. It was in some random country. I forget what country it was in, but it's still considered, like, a tourist attraction to go see the town. Also. RIP Shelley Duvall. Perfect olive oil. But that's not what we're here to talk about. Malta is in Malta.
Natalie Jean
It was in Malta. Random Popeye village.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yep.
Natalie Jean
Oh, my God. You can go there. You can visit it.
Jackie Zabrowski
Mm.
Natalie Jean
I say it Goodness village.
Jackie Zabrowski
But right now we're talking about the Popeye and olive oil of Crescent City.
Natalie Jean
Oh, cute.
Jackie Zabrowski
So he's facing.
Natalie Jean
They're not made. They're really not made for each other. I mean, he does, like, steal her, even though he is abusive, but.
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh, Popeye and olive oil.
Natalie Jean
Right. I guess it's consensual. I'm really making up lore of Popeye. I'm gonna be real with you. Yeah. I don't. I don't know.
Jackie Zabrowski
The bad guy's blue.
Natalie Jean
Guessing. Yeah. I'm just gonna keep guessing. And I know that somebody eats. I'll pay for you today. For him, I'll pay for a hamburger yesterday. And I want one.
Jackie Zabrowski
Blimpy.
Natalie Jean
Yes.
Jackie Zabrowski
Is that his name?
Natalie Jean
Blimpy is his name.
Jackie Zabrowski
I know what I'm talking about.
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Natalie Jean
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Natalie Jean
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Jackie Zabrowski
The letter x dot com. So he asks how she found him that day. And she says, or that during that sewer interaction. And she says she doesn't really. She thinks perhaps once they had connected via the crystal comms. Crystal. His mind speak. His mind speak could take over. And his panicked brain kind of reached out, sort of thrashing out for anything the way you would if you were drowning. Like, somehow his brain was like, help, help, help. And so she heard him. She teases him about his casual way of speaking when he responds to something with yeah. He makes him wonder if she's very old, then maybe even in a starry, if she doesn't like new fangled slang.
Natalie Jean
Oh, like, yeah, like, yeah, yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
He tries to pry it out of her, like, what her identity is. Why does he want to know? It's kind of unclear, but he seems like he wants to know more about her.
Natalie Jean
Well, especially. I mean, I do think that connection thing is a little interesting. How did she get. I mean, I think she seems kind of intimate. It seems very intimate. Seems like something that, you know, I don't know. I don't know.
Jackie Zabrowski
Weird. So she obviously shuts that down. It's not a smart thing to do when you're doing secret covert missions for the rebels. And she tells him she is here today, in this night. Well, in the nighttime, as he's sleeping, to give the intel that the Spine is going to be attacked by the rebels. The Spine is the train system. And she is relaying that there is a bunch of weaponry, really scary stuff. The mech suits, all the stuff that is being transported by the Asteri and the Imperialists, and they're going to take it out to for whatever the Ophion wants to do with it. So it's like Brimstone missiles, all that stuff.
Natalie Jean
Yikes.
Jackie Zabrowski
It's scary. Day mentioned she recommended that it all be destroyed, but it's not her call. She is merely there to send the intel to Ophion and they will decide what they're going to do with the weaponry. So because of that, Rune is a little disconcerted with the idea of Pippa Spetsos getting a hold of it because she is a little insane.
Natalie Jean
Yeah. And she's making some decisions that maybe.
Jackie Zabrowski
Might have lost the plot a little bit.
Natalie Jean
You just like. I feel like, you know, I've never really fought for a cause. I'd say like in that capacity, like in a. In a rebellion type of capacity. But I imagine it's like, well, that shit happened with Shahar. It seems like rebellions you kind of lose. You do lose the threat at some point. Like if you just keep fight or like in the ways in which the desperation makes you act.
Jackie Zabrowski
Sure. But also. Yeah, I mean that is one of the interesting parts of these stories is that it is discussing things in a non black and white way. Morally gray also just morally shield is shades of gray.
Natalie Jean
Just shades of gray.
Jackie Zabrowski
Morality is. Is something you have to consistently go back to and check on in yourself because suddenly you can be justifying really horrible things if you don't continue to like reinvest in looking inside of yourself. Right.
Natalie Jean
I've never done that before.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yes, you have. Oh, you have to.
Natalie Jean
Denial. Never Idle.
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh, I'm in denial about many things.
Natalie Jean
But I think she says dress like this. What do you mean? It's like, I mean I did Nick Cannon did just say. I think having 12 kids after my Mariah divorce was a trauma response. So, you know, it's like, it's good.
Jackie Zabrowski
To recognize after all the damage is done. But like, you know, hey, it's good. It's good to acknowledge things. Right. But if you are somebody who, who maybe could. There are people maybe like Pippa who started out with maybe, well, intentions, well intended actions, who then starts to let the madness take over or you stare too long into the abyss, blah, blah, blah. And so now she's killing left and right. And so Ruhn has, you know, he's like, who do you think is going to be Pippa? Or like, who's doing the mission? And they say she doesn't know. It's not her business, which is fair. As the intel person, you're relaying an important piece of information and then you have to like kind of walk away from it a little bit. In some.
Natalie Jean
In some you're just the telephone. Yeah, just the telephone. You're just a telephone. And that's what Agent Knight starts saying at her and she's like, does Lady Gaga exist in this world?
Jackie Zabrowski
But I Kind of feel like she would fit in there.
Natalie Jean
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Imagine the fits for Lady Gaga. Lady Haha. She also. She's in Joe. Is that gonna be her stand up routine when Gaga goes comedy? Lady Haha. Give it up. It's like it's all in the name.
Jackie Zabrowski
Lady ha ha. So they discuss the mission and during the conversation, Ruhn lets it slip that he is in the Ox.
Natalie Jean
Ruhn, you gotta get better at this whole secret agent man thing.
Jackie Zabrowski
Or is he doing it because he's trying to open up to her?
Natalie Jean
Are they trying to have connection on the brain bridge?
Jackie Zabrowski
I don't know if they're both, but one of them seems like they're trying to Day challenges him, asking what rebels have on him to be allowed to be led around. So basically suggesting, first off, don't be telling me about your life, dum dum. But also, they must have some bad stuff on you if you're helping out the rebels. And this irritates Ruhn and he suggests that maybe he just wants to help. She scoffs and says that the ruling class rarely is motivated to help anyone. Whoa. Truth.
Natalie Jean
It's almost like it's true everywhere.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yep. Their tempers both flare and Day suggests that if he so willingly brings up Pippa and his own personal details, then he'll be lucky not to get in a bullet in the head. But by any high ranking rebel sympathizers.
Natalie Jean
They'Re scared of saying things too. And it's good. I. I was hoping as we read Crescent City, that our world was going to become more like Crescent City. Yeah. Not in these ways. It would.
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh, yeah. It was like, it was like, oh, I could have like magic.
Natalie Jean
I am magic. Yeah. Yes. I could, I can be, you know, I could be like, oh, maybe I am an immortal demon of sorts, you know, but nope.
Jackie Zabrowski
No, just the other stuff.
Natalie Jean
The other stuff.
Jackie Zabrowski
We get the other stuff. So she also suggests he has no idea what it's like to be tortured. They get into an argument basically where she's challenging what he's saying and he's like, what? You don't know anything about me. You don't know who my daddy is. You don't know what my daddy's done. And he's like, where daddy's grown? Yep.
Natalie Jean
Stop talking about Daddy. I think she's gonna ask a couple of questions. He's just like, no, he doesn't actually.
Jackie Zabrowski
If you knew.
Natalie Jean
I know he doesn'. But it's like if he. I. There is a little of like yeah, but if you knew. If you knew what I'd gone through, it's like, yeah, but she doesn't because she can't run.
Jackie Zabrowski
Very fitting for a goth rock boy. I mean, like, you know what I've been through, of course.
Natalie Jean
And we're all just like.
Jackie Zabrowski
Like, oh, I bet it was really hard. I bet it was really hard. Tell me more about.
Natalie Jean
Let me fix you. I bet you.
Jackie Zabrowski
You just need to be loved by the right woman. Never works. Don't do it. So he doesn't say that, but says he doesn't say daddy stuff. But he does say, you know, you don't know what I've been through. And then he mentions Sophie in an accusing tone, asking what Day knows about her. She says she assumed she was dead since he had taken her spot because Sophie was the point person before he posits to her, well, what if she isn't? Where would she go? Basically saying, do you know about Sophie? Like, what do you know? Tell me. They're fighting at this point. This seems to set day off utterly. And she tells him she's leaving. She just bails on the conversation. So something about bringing Sophie up triggered her. The next morning, we're with Hunt as the room looks over the box that has arrived from Jesiba containing two tokens to get Bryce and Hunt over to the bone quarters.
Natalie Jean
Come on over. Come on over, baby. I mentioned this. Like, what the under king sings every time he knows someone's about to use a token. I feel like he's got, like, that kind of insight, you know?
Jackie Zabrowski
I guess probably.
Natalie Jean
Or does he not give a. I.
Jackie Zabrowski
Feel like the under king doesn't feel threatened by much, so maybe he doesn't care, obviously.
Natalie Jean
Look at this bastard.
Jackie Zabrowski
I know. It does. It is giving a little. Little Joker.
Natalie Jean
Little Joker me?
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah.
Natalie Jean
Why so serious? I didn't know what was happening.
Jackie Zabrowski
You're such a dork, girl.
Natalie Jean
I know, I know. We were talking about, like, Batman and Superman before chaos reigns. It would be great if we could get the fox, but with the Joker makeup saying, why so serious?
Jackie Zabrowski
The fox?
Natalie Jean
Yeah. I was saying, because I also was thinking of chaos reigns. And it was. It was a whole. I had a whole thing in my brain. And it's okay. Sometimes I speak seven steps ahead when my brain has gone through all the processes, you know?
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah. I'm not there. I'm not with it.
Natalie Jean
It's okay.
Jackie Zabrowski
All right.
Natalie Jean
Antichrist for no reason. You need a quick Antichrist riff every once in a while. Okay, so maybe I'm just busy thinking about foxes. Because I watched Grizzly man yesterday and he made friends with all the foxes. All right. And it looked like that would actually be fun. Well, the foxes weren't the problem. I'll throw it out there.
Jackie Zabrowski
I don't think the bears were the problem.
Natalie Jean
No, no, it was him. Yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
So the next morning, they're all in. They're all in Bryce's house. They're all looking at these two tokens that are going to take Bryce and Hunt over the bone quarter. Cormac and Rune stand with Cormac and Room stand with Hunt as they contemplate the actions of the day. And Ethan and Bryce are also nearby, sort of listening to their conversation. Ruinous presumably filled them all in on what day had conveyed to the rebel pipeline. Because he woke up first in the house and kind of shook everybody else awake ruining everybod. These mornings again. Blocking. Because. Got to.
Natalie Jean
I mean, but also it's like your brother's been in the night, so, you know, that's.
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh, yeah.
Natalie Jean
No, they're not.
Jackie Zabrowski
They're not doing it.
Natalie Jean
Yeah, they're not.
Jackie Zabrowski
So. But they can't even like, cuddle, you know what I mean? No, because Rune's got stuff to say.
Natalie Jean
He's got things.
Jackie Zabrowski
Despite all of their worries, Hunt is feeling disappointment at his not being able to tell them all that Bryce is his mate, which is very cute. He wanted to come out and tell the world, dude.
Natalie Jean
He wanted to scream his love from the mountain, Dobbs.
Jackie Zabrowski
But Ruhn had this news for everyone before, basically as dawn was hitting. So the mate news got ruined.
Natalie Jean
It's like, can you just wait till.
Jackie Zabrowski
We all have a special day, you know?
Natalie Jean
Come on. Jesus.
Jackie Zabrowski
Ruhn volunteers to go with Cormac to deliver the report to Opion and Hunt and Cormac get into an argument. Hunt being pissed that they are being dragged into rebel business. Bryce tells Cormac to go on his own to leave Rune out of this, to just beat it. Hit the streets. Don't get us involved. Which makes Hunt turned on.
Natalie Jean
Of course it does. Robby boy, Throbby boy.
Jackie Zabrowski
Cormac retorts that she needs to check herself and that she's blowing the plan by blowing the man. You feel me?
Natalie Jean
I do feel you. I think she feeling heal too.
Jackie Zabrowski
He says he can smell quote what went down between Bryson, Hunt and Bryce is she acts as Bryce does and says, you mean when he went down on me?
Natalie Jean
You know, it is. It's.
Jackie Zabrowski
McCormack is pissed because they're supposed to be in betrothal, right? So Right. She is getting her scent and Hunt scent all twisted up.
Natalie Jean
Especially when people can be smelling that stank on you, girl. Because it just sucks. It sucks that you live in a world where you can't just get away with something like that. But. But you don't. So think about that.
Jackie Zabrowski
But even in this world, as we've talked about before, when people are trying to hide something like that, you can almost always tell. Oh, yeah, the way that, like, the subtle, like, eye movements and the. Oh, hey, what's up? What's going on?
Natalie Jean
Yeah, no, we're just like, oh, I. No, they weren't in my bedroom earlier. No, I haven't seen them since, oh.
Jackie Zabrowski
I don't know, two days ago. Whatever you guys talking about. Yeah, so what?
Natalie Jean
Like, I remember responding like that when someone would accuse you of, like. Oh, God, I was.
Jackie Zabrowski
What? What? What are you talking about?
Natalie Jean
Oh, my God. Yeah, I'm. Yeah, we're both really good at playing it cool.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah, it's hard to hide that. So even though we don't thankfully have the scent thing going on here, you can usually tell one way or another, right? But Cormac reiterates that he's being serious, that having their sense mingling will blow the COVID of their betrothal. And this is all very serious. But Hunt is only thinking about replaying the previous evening in the gym in his mind during this, the whole conversation.
Natalie Jean
I get it.
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh, yeah, I get it. He tries to shake it off. Since they're going to go speak to a ghost king in a few minutes and you need to focus on that problem.
Natalie Jean
I'm ready for visitors. He's just down there watching Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, just being like, oh, thank God.
Jackie Zabrowski
I mean, the season of six had come out.
Natalie Jean
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Dress like he's in Miami in the.
Jackie Zabrowski
Middle of a cemetery. Honestly, like, yeah, I love that.
Natalie Jean
Let's, like, let's change some stereotypes about under kings, can we, please?
Jackie Zabrowski
Please?
Natalie Jean
Maybe he does have a fucking good time and you're just not around to see it.
Jackie Zabrowski
I love that. Despite their arguments, Ruhn is still going with Cormac as Bryce and Hunt prepare for their boat ride. So they're basically splitting off. Cormac, Rune, are going to go deal with the intel. Bryson and Hunt are going over to the bone quarter. In fact, Ruhn invites Ethan to join them to go give the intel. And after a moment of contemplation, Ethan basically says, fuck it, and leaves the laptops, which are still sorting through hours of footage for Danika. He Decides to go off with the boys to do the intel. Gow, Hunt and Bryce go back to Bryce's bedroom, and Hunt realizes in his thoughts, it's probably now their bedroom.
Natalie Jean
Well, it is, you know, I mean, we're talking, baby. I know, but it's mated, you know, it's. You know, I. It's mated, but still, it's like, I just feel like immediately be like, oh, you're already taking over my space. I know you're my mate. But, like, we still just started. I'd still like to have my space.
Jackie Zabrowski
It's cute, though, that he's, like, excited about. He's like, oh, my goodness. Yes, but. Yes. See, they have not discussed that. Hunt is thrilled with the thought, though, and he gawks as Bryce straps a gun to her leg under her short skirt.
Natalie Jean
I. All right, I'm not saying that I think that that's always hot, but in this instance of just in a short skirt, strapping a gun on Bryce, this fucking thick, hot bitch.
Jackie Zabrowski
I take guns very seriously in the real world, but in real world, I mean, doing stunts and stuff. Yeah, action stuff. In hot outfits, of course. Are you kidding? All day, all day, every day, every day. Hunt comes to assist with the strap. Even while he's admiring the view, he points out that wearing a skirt to the bone quarter might not be the best plan.
Natalie Jean
Wow, I love some chicken thighs.
Jackie Zabrowski
I mean, it seems like, like, would you want to be rolling around in, like, a musty cemetery? Like, a mini dress?
Natalie Jean
Definitely have an athleisure outfit on. I would say, yeah, joggin bra, you know?
Jackie Zabrowski
So he says that she rolls her eyes but realizes he's probably right. And the chapter ends with her changing into leggings.
Natalie Jean
Thank you, you.
Jackie Zabrowski
So she occasionally listens to him.
Natalie Jean
It would be one thing if, like, they were going out to dinner and he's like, and you're wearing that. You know, that. You know, that kind of shit. I'd be like, you know what? You know, Then you. I see red, and I want to burn the world.
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh, you're going out to the club wearing that?
Natalie Jean
Yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
No, thank you, sir.
Natalie Jean
No, it's understandable. It's just because they're going to the bone quarter and they're coming to see my ass, and it's like, ah, you know, who knows? Do we need to jump?
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh, yes. You know, technically, like, fighting demons is his wheelhouse, and he should have some input. Also.
Natalie Jean
I feel like it's in, like, akin to, like, if you're going to see the under King dress As if like you're riding on a motorcycle.
Jackie Zabrowski
What if you have to run, duck.
Natalie Jean
Dodge, Give yourself a couple of extra layers just in case, you know, just. Oh yeah, some coverage.
Jackie Zabrowski
No, it's not a good idea to wear that outfit. I'm sure she looked amazing. So in chapter 29, Brunt are standing at the dock awaiting the boat to come pick them up. And Brace is. We're with her pov. We're thinking about how Run left her the star sword with a note telling her to just take it and not be stupid because he had it, but she needs it and she does.
Natalie Jean
And he can kill undead things. It's like, now you know that. Well, you could use it to protect you from some weird shit.
Jackie Zabrowski
It's kind of doing that like hero martyr thing where it's like, Bryce, why wouldn't you take this sword that kills reapers? Where you're going to is filled with reapers. Just stop being this like hero character for a second. It's annoying.
Natalie Jean
Especially in this instance. It's not like Ruhn is also going to like see like an under king at that point. You're not overlapping. Just take the fucking sword.
Jackie Zabrowski
So she does take it and she does remember at that point the gun won't be any use against dead people. But obviously the sword would be. They pull the coins out of their pockets, which they note smell like rotting, and toss them into the river. Which is apparently how you summon the boat. I'm sure a few people have told.
Natalie Jean
You this, a male voice said behind them, but that is a very bad idea. Baxian the hellhound emerged like a wraith from the mist, wearing his own battle suit. Shadows had settled beneath his dark eyes like he hadn't slept in a while.
Jackie Zabrowski
Why are you here? Vaccine shrugs and is like, I don't know. I'm just hanging out.
Natalie Jean
Interesting.
Jackie Zabrowski
Obviously he was following them. But before they can really get into it, the boat arrives to take them to the Quarter. A black ship with a screaming skull at the bow.
Natalie Jean
Hell yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
And Bryce jumps in, followed by Hunt. So they have this weird interception by Baxian. We don't know what this means yet. Vaccines clearly following them around. He's giving clues that he might not be a bad. But we don't know for sure.
Natalie Jean
We don't know and we have no proof. And we have that you're just. We're starting to get drippings.
Jackie Zabrowski
We're getting drips.
Natalie Jean
Sometimes you gotta take them drippings make it into gravy.
Jackie Zabrowski
God, this thing is too tight on my face.
Natalie Jean
This My crown. I, I, I, I, I feel like my head is becoming a grape.
Jackie Zabrowski
A grape? Yeah.
Natalie Jean
I'm gonna make some wine.
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh, it's getting squeezed.
Natalie Jean
Getting squeezed. Yeah. I'm getting juiced over here.
Jackie Zabrowski
Gotcha. So she asks Hunt, after they leave shore whether Vaccine will report that they're going to see the under. King Han says that even if he did, it would make sense since the Reapers had attacked. So they basically have a cover if anybody asks why they're going over.
Natalie Jean
Right. And Vaccine couldn't follow them because he didn't have a token.
Jackie Zabrowski
He didn't have a coin, did he? So we switch over to Hunt's POV as they approach shore, and he's feeling creeped out that the boat moves by some invisible force. It gets colder as they approach. He's irritated about Vaccine appearing, but isn't immediately on high alert, more angered that he figures Vaccines compiling a list of things to use against him if he needs it. So he. He's just still seeing Vaccine as being sort of like a hindrance, not like a.
Natalie Jean
How could you not? Well, yeah, he's known him for so long, and it's just like, okay.
Jackie Zabrowski
And he just keeps showing up where.
Natalie Jean
Hunt is and, like, starting to share things like, okay, yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
What are you doing, dude? What's your deal?
Natalie Jean
If you've known someone for, like, at this point, what, maybe hundreds of years, I feel like all of a sudden you're just hanging out and, like, sharing. Like, I like video games. Okay. Fucking great. Good for you. Like, I feel like I, I'm surprised that Hunt is not even more just, like, get the away for it. Like, well, get away from me. Yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
I mean, they were together in that other world. Yeah. They didn't have video games, but you could have offered to play marbles.
Natalie Jean
Yeah. Something.
Jackie Zabrowski
Jack. Jack.
Natalie Jean
Sure. Spin the bottle.
Jackie Zabrowski
Spin the bottle.
Natalie Jean
I mean, that'll get them to get to know each other.
Jackie Zabrowski
It's true. Oh, they should. The ox should place Spin the bottle.
Natalie Jean
Or, I mean, just try. It's like, have you guys ever tried kissing each other? Have you thought about kissing each other? Maybe that will maybe make you not so angry anymore.
Jackie Zabrowski
Maybe.
Natalie Jean
The boat had stopped at the base of worn, crumbling steps. The mists above them parted to reveal an archway of carved ancient bone, brown with age and spots. Memento mori, it said across the top.
Jackie Zabrowski
Cool.
Natalie Jean
He thinks all of this is badass.
Jackie Zabrowski
I know.
Natalie Jean
I love it. I, I, I'm such a simp. Goth girl. I'm just like, oh, yeah, it's a boat. Got flaming skulls oh, cool.
Jackie Zabrowski
It's also just. I love a spooky, scary cemetery. Give it to me. Haunted house. All of it. So he thinks it's a different meaning here than the meat market, where it also says memento mori. Where at the meat markets? It's more like yolo.
Natalie Jean
Yeah. Memento mori. Yolo.
Jackie Zabrowski
We're all gonna die. Do whatever you want want. Where here, it's more of a. Remember you'll die, and then I got your ass.
Natalie Jean
Oh, man. Especially a memento mori on an archway like that. Oh. Welcoming you in. It's like, is this a welcome? Yikes. But, I mean, it is always remembering. Technically, memento mori is, you know, encouraging. Remembering the dead.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah. It depends on the context for sure, too.
Natalie Jean
But this is, Yeah. A little bit more threatening.
Jackie Zabrowski
Little threat. Little. Little. Just remember, but remember who your lords are.
Natalie Jean
It kind of also reminds me, too, of the corpse we were just talking about in the last chapter, Juniper's brother, that had the memento mori. That. Now that's an instance where memento mori is very upsetting. When you receive the corpse of your brother on your front door step with a note attached, it said memento mori. Yeah. I'd probably be like, oh, yikes.
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh, good lesson. Thank you. Thank you for that remembering. It's like a fortune cookie. Yeah. They deboard the ship, and they hold hands. As they approach this big, scary step archway thing, he realizes he's right at the spot where Bryce once traded her soul for Danika's.
Natalie Jean
Cool.
Jackie Zabrowski
As they pass through the bone gate, he just.
Natalie Jean
Bone gate? I'm sorry. You have to say it like you got. I mean, it's the bone gate.
Jackie Zabrowski
I should have let you do it.
Natalie Jean
Thank you. Thank you. It's more. I just feel a connection to it. Oh, my cloak. Oh, I'm being derobed. I can't. Not while we're entering my territory.
Jackie Zabrowski
Are you doing a sexy scene by yourself?
Natalie Jean
Yeah, I'm just over here going, oh, especially. I mean, obviously. Natalie, did you not realize that with the makeup that I'm. I came in, I'm mostly just trying.
Jackie Zabrowski
To keep my costume in together right now. It's all I can really focus on.
Natalie Jean
I get it.
Jackie Zabrowski
It's not working.
Natalie Jean
And you're. You're many wigs are actively falling off of your head. But you know what? If they go, let them go. Let him go. Let him go.
Jackie Zabrowski
That's how I feel about most of my clothes.
Natalie Jean
Let him go. Oh, yeah, they fall off.
Jackie Zabrowski
They fall off.
Natalie Jean
Your husband does that often with his pants? Sometimes. If he's carrying too much. He just doesn't have any hips. It's not his fault. And you're like, get a belt. He has a belt. He's just shaped like an egg. And so if he's carrying too many things, oftentimes if he's trying. My favorite is when he's going from the car into the house because he's really trying to keep his pants up, but then they just go right down and it's like, like I could offer. Take something out of his hands so he could pick up his pants. I don't. I just usually walk behind him. Go, pants falling down. Pants falling down. You look like an idiot. Pants fall down.
Jackie Zabrowski
He's not shaped like an egg, but he does have a tiny butt. I keep telling him just. I keep telling him, just embrace suspenders.
Natalie Jean
I don't know. I don't know. He could be a little.
Jackie Zabrowski
He'd be a sca. Boy.
Natalie Jean
Yeah. I'm always looking at Henry, I'm like, where is his trumpet? I feel like he needs to be.
Jackie Zabrowski
Louder and he needs a bowler hat.
Natalie Jean
Oh, wow. Is that what gets you going? Is this what you. Natalie, you gotta ask for what you need because Henry can't read your mind. Uh oh, don't get. Oh, don't get started over there. Uh oh, I'm scared.
Jackie Zabrowski
So they. Where the fuck are we talking about?
Natalie Jean
We're in the bone gate.
Jackie Zabrowski
We're in the bone Gate. We're not talking about my husband's butt. As they pass through the bone Gate, he describes in his thoughts spots what sounds like you're stereotypical. He's looking around. It looks like a haunted graveyard. Gray tombs, markers covered in fog. Silence. He also mentions strange markings. Our lovely research assistant Jess points out that the markings could be in reference to a little thing called word marks. Potential. Bryce nervously whispers that the image she saw of the wolf pack after the demon attack the past spring was of a lush green field and sunlight. So whenever the wolf pack came and like, said goodbye to her at the end of the first book, what she saw as the afterlife was this beautiful green field because they've never walked through the. The gates before. And she's like, what is this? This is not what I saw.
Natalie Jean
You in my house now.
Jackie Zabrowski
Wow, rude.
Natalie Jean
I just feel like that's what they. If she thought that, I imagine that's what she would hear the under king say inside of her brain.
Jackie Zabrowski
Well, why did she see the field though?
Natalie Jean
Because she was seeing their version of what their afterlife is.
Jackie Zabrowski
So you think they. You think it was the wolf packs.
Natalie Jean
I think it was there. I think that that was for them. And I, I, I, I think that she entered into their afterlife.
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh. And so the under king, his dream world is a foggy summit.
Natalie Jean
You know what it is? I, I'm realizing as I'm saying this, I think that I've, like, in my brain decided that all of this was like in the movie, what dreams may come. That man. A lot of Rob Williams talk today. Very sad. Very, very sad movie. And it is about trig. Many trigger warnings. It is a. There's a lot. It's a lot of rough. But I will say lots of bad things happen to Robin Williams. And he does go into the afterlife to try and bring his wife back. And because she goes to hell, because she takes her own life, which I have a couple of things to say about. But he goes back to Savor. And so I feel like in the, like in the. When you go through the gate, you see the, like, oh, this is my house. This is, like, where I hang out in my, like, nothing Bone land.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah.
Natalie Jean
And then your afterlife is what you bring into it, like, with your soul. I mean, that's. I didn't know I felt this way until I started saying this aloud. But, yeah, this is how I feel about this.
Jackie Zabrowski
I think that that's fair. And I think a lot of people would say that about if they believe in a spiritual practice. Yes.
Natalie Jean
Like, Pam Anderson thinks that she doesn't believe in a heaven, but she does know wherever she goes, all of her dogs will be.
Jackie Zabrowski
Aw, that's nice. I hope so.
Natalie Jean
Did I cry about that? Yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah. I don't want to think about that. So Hunt doesn't know what to make of this. This vision that Bryce had seen, but suggests that maybe the under king chooses what to reveal to the living, which is also an option. They don't scent Emile or any living being, so they decide to try to summon the Autumn King.
Natalie Jean
Bryce halted suddenly between two black obelisks, each engraved with a different array of those odd symbols. The obelisks and dozens more beyond them flanked what seemed to be a central walkway stretching into the mist.
Jackie Zabrowski
Odd symbols. Are they word marks? Which isn't from Throne of Glass.
Natalie Jean
Throne of Glass. And I think. I do think Jess is right. I mean, I'm pretty sure.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah. I think we're all pretty sure.
Natalie Jean
But I. But I love bringing that up in this because, I mean, when I first I read Crescent City, before I read Throne of Glass.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah, same.
Natalie Jean
And now when people ask me, like, what do you Suggest the order with which to read them. I usually recommend either Acotar or Throne of Glass first. Probably Acotar, especially because Throne of Glass starts. She's so young when she starts writing it. But I'm like, I think it should be Acotar, Throne of Glass, and then Crescent.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah, I also agree with that. I agree, agree. I think that's a good order. So they want to summon the under king. So she pulls the star sword out, and she just starts hitting the slab, the obelisk, which is a choice you could do, y'.
Natalie Jean
All. You just got to fucking light up a doobie. As long as I am the under king. You smoke weed, I'll be there.
Jackie Zabrowski
She didn't try that.
Natalie Jean
No. I'll find you soon.
Jackie Zabrowski
After the air drops even further in temperature, and they look forward into the fog, trying to send the presence that they can feel coming where it's coming from.
Natalie Jean
When the under king spoke, however, in a voice simultaneously ancient and youthful, but cold and dry, the sound came from behind them. This wand is close to you, Bryce. Is that what you think I sound like? Is that what I sound like to you, Natalie?
Jackie Zabrowski
I'm trying to figure out. Ancient, youthful, cold and dry.
Natalie Jean
Yeah, good. All right. I'm glad. Honestly, I think just try to channel Gwyneth Paltrow. I do believe she is simultaneously ancient and youthful, but cold and dry.
Jackie Zabrowski
This land is closed. This land is closed to you, Bryce. Quinn.
Natalie Jean
I so wish I had a goop wig on right now.
Jackie Zabrowski
I'm trying to think about what her voice sounds like.
Natalie Jean
No. Yeah, it is.
Jackie Zabrowski
This land is close to you, Bryce.
Natalie Jean
Bitchier. Bitchier. Yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
This land is closed to you, Bryce Grin.
Natalie Jean
Yeah, there it is.
Jackie Zabrowski
And she lost. Half a day is closed to you, Grice. Quinn.
Natalie Jean
Oh, okay. Actually creepier than the under king I'm doing.
Jackie Zabrowski
Bryce immediately starts being snarky with the under king and hunts like Luna. Spare me. Yeah, I actually, in the Under King does sound like Gwyneth Paltrow. You are exactly correct.
Natalie Jean
And I lost half a day of. That's my Mariah Carey, though.
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh, that is Mariah Carey, right?
Natalie Jean
I will say Gwyneth Paltrow, I believe, which is funny for a wellness person. Still loves to smoke cigarettes. So it's almost like all of her.
Jackie Zabrowski
Advice is stupid and bad, and it's.
Natalie Jean
Almost like she goes against scientific research.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah, don't listen to her. She doesn't know what she's talking about. And a lot of times, she kind of is giving you the antithesis of what you should do for Health.
Natalie Jean
She only cares about money. She doesn't give a a about you or you taking care of yourself.
Jackie Zabrowski
No, no, no, no. Definitely not the Autumn King. And also she can mess around with anything she wants because she has money so she can get health care and things. She doesn't care what happens.
Natalie Jean
She's putting Ozone in her asshole. And everybody's like that's really expensive. And also you really shouldn't be doing that. And she's like. But Ozone Darabi.
Jackie Zabrowski
She'S definitely the under king.
Natalie Jean
Yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
So the Under King is 10ft tall and wearing robes.
Natalie Jean
Yes. And also, honestly in this description also further describes Gwyneth Paltrow.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yes. And Hunt's instincts have had him wanting to drop into a bow or run essentially because of the presence of a powerful being. His nature wants him to just get down on his his knees a little bit of a fight or flight.
Natalie Jean
But all I want is to put steam in my pussy. Don't be scared of me. For you see I'm a desiccated corpse half rotted and crowned with gold and jewels. Observed them. Hideous beyond belief, yet regal. Like a long dead king of old left to rot in some barrow who had emerged to make himself master of this land. If not shaltrow. I don't know what is. Wow, that is so her hideous belong.
Jackie Zabrowski
Beyond belief, yet regal. I mean, I agree.
Natalie Jean
You can't say she's not given royalty.
Jackie Zabrowski
Oh, absolutely not. She tells the king she needs to talk to him about some issues. And Hunt has to remind himself that the Autumn King is known to be scary but is not considered evil. She asks him whether the reapers lied about being brought to forth by Apollyon whenever they were caught in the sewer. And the Autumn King reacts angrily.
Natalie Jean
Under King. Sorry, I'm just trying to watch out for you. I know, I know. It's. There's a lot of kings.
Jackie Zabrowski
And the under king reacts angrily to his name being said in his presence. So he doesn't want to hear Apollon. Okay, Noted king.
Natalie Jean
Yeah, same way that Gwyneth Paltrow doesn't want to talk about Martha Stewart. You know, she doesn't want to be.
Jackie Zabrowski
Thinking about all this. So true. Hun suggests that he launched the attack. So basically saying so did you bring the reapers then? And this makes the under king downright peeved. The under king denies sending reapers at them, but is not willing to accept being accused of treachery.
Natalie Jean
But he does break out into song and says it wasn't me.
Jackie Zabrowski
It wasn't.
Natalie Jean
Me trying to kill you in the street. It wasn't me. I was banging on the sofa.
Jackie Zabrowski
I'll just let you finish.
Natalie Jean
And then he did he. He was also banging on the sofa.
Jackie Zabrowski
I think that the under king loves this treachery. I actually think he is here for the drama. And he's like, you dare bring up Apollyon in my land.
Natalie Jean
And also like, give me that tea. Give me that tea. What's been Apollyon up to?
Jackie Zabrowski
For sure. It's like, go on.
Natalie Jean
Yeah. Yeah. I am shocked and upset, but please continue.
Jackie Zabrowski
But Bryce pushes him, asks if it's possible for reapers to choose to serve Hell instead of the Land of Dead. Because as far as they knew, reapers were a Hell thing.
Natalie Jean
They're mine. Like, technically, they're mine.
Jackie Zabrowski
But the under king reveals something just now. He actually asks where he they think from whence do you think the reapers came? Who first ruled them in the vampires? And it turns out he is saying the reapers came from Hell, but chose Midgard as well as the vampires. That is, I believe, new info. I don't think we've learned that yet in the books. So he's saying these are Hell's creatures. The reapers and vamps came from how, but chose Midgard somewhere along the line. So that is interesting.
Natalie Jean
I think it's nice. Nice. Nice that the reapers have autonomy. I think that's really good for them that they can choose where they want to go. They are all falling off. But I like it because all. All of the wigs are falling off in different ways.
Jackie Zabrowski
It's true. It's like art. It is indie Warhol.
Natalie Jean
It is. It's very. It's. Yeah, it. It's. It's beautiful. It's like a waterfall on your head.
Jackie Zabrowski
Thank you.
Natalie Jean
Emphasis on the fall.
Jackie Zabrowski
I mean, firefall.
Natalie Jean
Firefall.
Jackie Zabrowski
Firefall. What I'd call it the art piece. So the under king further explains that there aren't any missing reapers from the bone quarter. And they are being presumptuous that they couldn't have come from one of the other realms, the nether realms, on Midgard. So the under King is saying, those reapers were not from me in that sewer. I did not do it. How dare you. Also you even consider there's many other undercarriages. And I'm ain't talking about the panties on Midgard.
Natalie Jean
Yeah, man, I slap my flap at you.
Jackie Zabrowski
So the under king is essentially giving us some more details, some exposition about what's going on in this. On this planet. The reapers could be from many places, not just the spone quarter. Bryce switches topics and Asks whether he's seen any humans here. Bryce and Huns are both getting sort of irritated. Bryce seems like she's kind of. Of becoming more hysterical, not getting the information she needs. The Under King insists that there have no. There are no living beings that can enter without his knowledge. So apparently he does know. She asks whether he would hide knowledge from them. And he swears to Kathona that he is not lying, which Hunt believes to be a big deal. Even the under king wouldn't lie. Swearing under the Kathona's bones or whatever.
Natalie Jean
He's so powerful, why the fuck would he have to lie? You know, it's like, oh, I didn't do it. Just don't. Don't come at me for sure.
Jackie Zabrowski
That means that they are not receiving any new intel. Kind of wasting their time, I guess. They've learned it wasn't here.
Natalie Jean
Definitely not him.
Jackie Zabrowski
Except that means they have literally no idea where Sophie and Emil are. And there are a bunch of new leads as to who the Reapers could have been sent by. So it's kind of like. Well, now we've just gotten more confused about what. What is happening.
Natalie Jean
Yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
Hunt tries to pull Bryce away, but she demands to know why she saw green fields that spring when she saw the pack. The under King tells her she saw what she wished to see. She kind of demands to see the wolf pack, and the Under King tells her she's not entitled to see them.
Natalie Jean
The cajones on this bitch, though.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah.
Natalie Jean
Come into my house and start demanding that you see things.
Jackie Zabrowski
I do think it's not a good idea. Idea. She obviously can't see Danika because Danika has disappeared forever.
Natalie Jean
Right.
Jackie Zabrowski
She asks about Lehiba, and the under King informs her to her dismay that fire sprites do not enter because they are lowers and they're of no use.
Natalie Jean
Whoa. Little judgments here. She was of a lot of use. And she's the reason why Bryce isn't dead.
Jackie Zabrowski
Fire sprites are of a lot of use for a lot of reasons. Yeah, but this phrase catches Han's attention. What do you mean of no use? No use for what?
Natalie Jean
Oh, and he goes, who, me? I should not.
Jackie Zabrowski
They're about to learn some bad news. The Under King smiles and hints that they don't want to know the truths. Though the Under King is almost being disquietly agreeable to Bryce's demands for answers. Hunt hears something growling in the fog. Cool. Bryce's voice grows more distressed as she asks again where Danika is. He responds in a sort of non answer. Saying that this place is but a journey on the way to the eternity of the void that he was born from the place between stars and the princes of hell worship it, which is awesome at these words. Suddenly, Bryce's star explodes with light. The under king's face becomes more sinister as he looks hungrily upon Bryce, remarking that because she made her drop outside of the system, she still contains some of that pure, delicious first light that skeletons crave.
Natalie Jean
Yes, let me slap my flap. Let me crack my bones.
Jackie Zabrowski
Bryce is like what the under king tells her. He's only skeleton. Only skeleton, damn it. It's like only human.
Natalie Jean
Yeah, I like it. I'm just made of bones. Come on.
Jackie Zabrowski
And it's too tempting not to get high on his own supply. As souls pass through the bone gates.
Natalie Jean
Give me a slurp.
Jackie Zabrowski
Hunt feels horror rush through him at the implications of what the under king is saying. You're saying you feed on the souls of departed people?
Natalie Jean
Holy little.
Jackie Zabrowski
Which is again a big reveal that they're getting. Which is that to say that the people of Midgar, the whole planet, don't understand this concept that the under king is telling them the worthy who come through on the sailings, they're considered worthy because they have enough energy left. It's not whether or not they're good or bad. It's whether a soul possesses enough power to make a meal for the under king. And the dead gate.
Natalie Jean
Cool.
Jackie Zabrowski
I mean, not depending on your vantage.
Natalie Jean
I guess it depends. Cool for me.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yes, he says. He takes a bite or two as they pass through. Just a little bite.
Natalie Jean
I'm hungry.
Jackie Zabrowski
Hunt feels disgust and wonders if he was wrong about the under king being evil. So it turns out the sailings are not about whether somebody is worthy, only if they would make a delicious meal.
Natalie Jean
I love it. I love that. That's like the ripening out. It's like. That's like grabbing on and being like, yeah, you good enough? Yeah, you porky enough for me. Yeah, give me, give me.
Jackie Zabrowski
But the under king isn't done revealing some very dark truths to them. He tells them that the sailings are done as a cope so that people don't have to face the truth of what they are.
Natalie Jean
Livestock.
Jackie Zabrowski
He continues. The souls are left to wander the island for a few centuries until no one remembers them. And then they are ushered through the gate to become second light food. Hunt, in despair, thinking about his mother, asks if he means the sleeping city has always been a lie. I take the idea of the sleeping city to be a heaven or like A Valhalla there.
Natalie Jean
Yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
And he kind of just says, sorry, maybe.
Natalie Jean
Oh, it's kind of like tall tales. O, hate to break it to you.
Jackie Zabrowski
Like the way that heaven is described here.
Natalie Jean
Interesting. And it's probably also written down by just some person writing it down, making.
Jackie Zabrowski
It up, who knows?
Natalie Jean
But it wasn't the under king, because I wouldn't be taking my time wasting my time writing down these non truths. I'm too busy just sticking straws into people.
Jackie Zabrowski
The under King won't tell them whether the Asteri know all of this or not. So we find out no, heaven people are food.
Natalie Jean
And they. You didn't send the reaper. So it's like, okay, it's good that we did this. But also, oh, my God, it's just like we're trying to figure out other shit, and you're gonna lay a bunch of other shit on top of us.
Jackie Zabrowski
You're gonna lay shit on top of shit.
Natalie Jean
Yeah. Now I'm just a pile of shit.
Jackie Zabrowski
Hunt realizes they are hearing this because the under king has already decided that they are not to leave the bone quarter alive.
Natalie Jean
Surprise.
Jackie Zabrowski
Bryce's light goes out as the under king tells them that Bryce's light meat smells too good for him not to taste.
Natalie Jean
Give it a slurp. Give me. Give me the slurp. I know you got that Gurk, y'.
Jackie Zabrowski
All.
Natalie Jean
So that is yogurt, Gert. Yeah.
Jackie Zabrowski
Not yogurt.
Natalie Jean
Yeah, no, it is yogurt. But I feel like to the under king, this kind of, like, power is like a little yogurt for him. I feel like it keeps him regular. I feel like it's like a. Like he's the Jamie Lee Curtis. Yeah. Of. Of the underworld.
Jackie Zabrowski
Yeah. This is a big deal. They're getting this huge reveal because the under King has decided they're not leaving. And so they learn this dark truth about their planet, and now they're gonna die with it.
Natalie Jean
And you'd be like, that's why you told us. And it just ends with a. And now, presenting Dudes Grappling With Erotica, starring Jared Logan and. And Holden McNeely, reading from chapter 21.
Narrator/Reader
Aren't we supposed to do some kissing first?
His voice was guttural. Absolutely not, Bryce.
Natalie Jean
Sorry.
Narrator/Reader
Are we supposed to do some kissing first?
Thank you. His voice was guttural. Absolutely not. Bryce said, Wholly focused on her task.
Hunk couldn't get a breath down as her fingers curled on the waistband of his underwear and peeled it away like a banana. He could only let her.
Not a banana. Though. Because it's a waistband, Right? So how is it banana?
Because they peel. He could only let her. Like skin.
Okay.
He could only let her do it. Lifting his hips to accommodate her bearing. All of him.
Well, well, well. She crooned sitting up.
Hunt almost started whining at the winning whining at the distance she put between that mouth of hers and his. Cock.
Natalie Jean
Cock.
Narrator/Reader
This is a big surprise.
Stop playing, Quinlan.
She didn't know that you had a big.
Yeah.
She wasn't expecting.
This is a tiny surprise.
She was like I was expecting a much smaller.
Like a piglet's tail. She had five seconds until he leapt on her and did everything he dreamed of for months now, everything he planned to do during the longest night of the year.
She laid a finger on his lips.
Natalie Jean
Hush.
Narrator/Reader
She brushed her mouth over his, slid her tongue between the seam of his lips.
Hunt parted for her, and as her tongue slipped into his mouth, he caught it between his lips and sucked hard. Let her know precisely how he liked it. Her whimper was a triumph.
But humped. But humped. But Hunt kept still.
We know what you're thinking.
We are humping. But Hunt kept still as she withdrew, straightening again, and lifted the shirt over her head. Fuck.
Those breasts. Full and heavy and tipped in rosy nipples that had him seeing double. Because there's so.
He's seeing four breaths.
He's seeing four breaths.
Nothing gets me harder than the idea of a woman with four breasts.
I've seen Total Recall. He hadn't gotten enough of them that day. They'd hooked up. Not even close. He needed a feast on these bad boys. Needed their weight in his palms, those pretty nipples on his filthy tongue.
You added bad boys and filthy. She.
You added. You added bad boys and filthy. Go on.
She fisted her breasts. Don't know what that means. Squeezing as she looked down at him.
Hunt bucked his hips, driving his up before her in a silent request. I know what that means.
Yeah. Whenever I want to request someone touch my cock, I buck my hips. Bryce only writhed, the plane of her stomach undulating as she squeezed her breasts again.
Hunt surged to grab her, to put his mouth where her hands were, but she held up a finger. Not yet.
Her eyes simmered like coals in the dimness. Her star began to. Wait.
We switched. Whatever. Finish this line and then keep going.
With the rest of the green.
Natalie Jean
Her.
Narrator/Reader
Her star began to glow faintly, as if it were under a black light. She traced her finger over the soft iridescence.
Jackie Zabrowski
Please.
Narrator/Reader
He panted through his teeth, chest heaving, but lay Back on the pillows once more.
Well, when you put it so politely.
She let out a sensuous laugh and leaned over him, ran her nails along the shaft of his cock. No, don't need nails there, thanks. Then back down to its base.
Piss. Piss. Lemonade in the shaft. The cum is made. He shivered, pleasure singing along his spine. And he, she said, there's no way.
I can fit all of you in me.
He ground out a double and got to second base. He ground out. Never know until we try.
No, I'm saying you can't try. It's simply too large. Bryce smiled and her head dipped as her fingers wrapped around his cock. Barely able to grasp him fully. She squeezed his base right as her tongue lapped at his tip.
Hunt bucked, panting hard.
Bryce laughed against his cock. Quiet.
Remember, he was going to cut off Holstrom's ears. That would keep the wolf from hearing.
Bryce licked him again, tongue swirling, then slid his broad head into her mouth.
I call that a Dutch oven, he said. Warm wet heat enveloped him as she sucked tight.
And I'm sucking tight. Hunt arched again, clapping a hand over his mouth, and his eyes rolled back in his head.
Yes. Fuck yes.
Bryce withdrew, then slid her mouth further onto him.
A few more strokes and he.
Hunt shifted, making to grab her, but she pinned his hips to the bed with a hand, took him until he bumped against the back of her throat.
He nearly flew out of his skin. And then he did. He was a dancing skeleton.
Natalie Jean
Ow.
Narrator/Reader
Skeleton.
She sucked him hard, the pressure so perfect it was practically pain, withdrawing nearly to his tip before making him taking him all again. What didn't make it into her mouth was squeezed by her hand. In flawless tandem, Hunt took in the sight of his disappearing into her mouth, her hair whispering over his thighs, her breasts flip flopping around. Yep, Quinlan.
He groaned a plea and a warning. Bryce only slid him down her throat again, her free hand digging into the muscles of his thigh in silent permission in her mouth. That was where she wanted him.
The thought alone unleashed him. Hunt couldn't stop himself as he raked his hands to her hair and took a shit on the floor, fingers digging into her scalp and rode her mouth. She met him thrust for thrust, moaning deep in her throat so that it echoed through him.
That made her shit all over the floor too. And then her hands slapped down to his balls, squeezing hard as her teeth grazed along his shaft.
The sheer stink of it made the toes start to puke. So now they're just shitting and puking. Hunt shattered, biting down at his lips. So hard the coppery tang of blood coated his tongue, bucking up into were spilling down her throat. Bryce swallowed as he came, the walls of her mouth fluttering against him, and he was going to die from this, from her, from that smell, from the pleasure she was ringing from him.
Hunt groaned, the last of himself shooting into her mouth the way all girls really love it. Blowjob fantasies, a thing that women love. Just sucking on penises, the most attractive part of a man's body. Then he was shaking and panting as he as she removed her mouth in one wet slide, then held his gaze. She swallowed once more, licked her lips.
He said, I'm a big strong boy. Hunt tried and failed to get up as his body were stunned. Stupid. Bryce smirked, a queen triumphant. Every fantasy he'd had of her these months, none of them came close to this, to what her mouth had been like, or what she looked like naked.
Hunt had managed to prop himself up on his elbows when Ihan yelled from the other side of the apartment, please.
Have sex a little louder. I didn't hear everything that time. Bryce burst out laughing. Oh, crazy iger. But. But Hunt could only stare at the the little droplet that ran down her chin, gleaming in the dim light of her star.
She noted the direction of his attention and wiped off her chin, rubbing her fingers together, then licking them clean.
Hunt growled low and deep. I'm going to fuck you senseless.
Her nipples will were hard as pebbles, and she squirmed against him.
Jackie Zabrowski
Him.
Narrator/Reader
Nothing but those little lace panties separated her sweetness from his bare thighs.
But then Holstrom shouted, that sounds medically dangerous. And Bryce laughed again, rolling off Hunt and reaching for his T shirt. Let's go to a sleazy motel tomorrow.
She said, and promptly went to sleep. Hunt, mind blasted apart, could only lie there naked, wondering if he'd imagine it. Still, imagine it all. I should probably clean up all this.
Yeah, get some detergent.
Natalie Jean
The end wow. Please read up until chapter 32 for next week.
Narrator/Reader
Sometimes an identity threat is a ring.
Of professional hackers, and sometimes it's an.
Jackie Zabrowski
Overworked accountant who forgot to encrypt their.
Narrator/Reader
Connection while sending bank details.
Jackie Zabrowski
I need a coffee.
Narrator/Reader
And you need Lifelock because your info is in endless places. It only takes one mistake to expose you to identity theft. LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second. If your identity is stolen, we'll fix it, guaranteed. Or your money back. Save up to 40% your first year.
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In this spirited and irreverent episode, Natalie Jean and Jackie Zebrowski, in full costume and maximal wig attire, dive deep into Sarah J. Maas's "House of Sky and Breath" (Crescent City series), covering chapters 20–31. They break down pivotal moments, explore character dynamics, debate fan theories, and share their own experiences with prosthetics and cosplay. Humor, tangents, and literary analysis seamlessly blend as the hosts dissect the episode’s standout scenes, including the Under King’s bone-chilling truths and a dramatic reading of the book's spiciest encounter.
"I can't wait to take it off. ... I'll probably have a headache in about three minutes." (Natalie, 03:48)
"We all pretend there's no way I could tell just with a little mask on somebody's face." (Natalie, 07:49)
“I assume that’s now Agent Day looks like on this brain bridge, but you never know.” (Jackie, 13:08)
“The ruling class rarely is motivated to help anyone.” (Jackie, paraphrased, 24:21)
“Morality is ... something you have to consistently go back to and check on in yourself because suddenly you can be justifying really horrible things if you don't continue to like reinvest in looking inside yourself.” (Jackie, 21:24)
“He wanted to scream his love from the mountain, Dobbs.” (Natalie, 29:27)
“You mean when he went down on me?” (Jackie, 30:32)
“I take guns very seriously in the real world, but ... action stuff in hot outfits, of course. Are you kidding?” (Natalie, 34:03)
“He thinks all of this is badass.” (Jackie, on Hunt, 40:13)
“Honestly, I think just try to channel Gwyneth Paltrow.” (Natalie, 48:53)
“The worthy who come through on the sailings, they're considered worthy because they have enough energy left. ... It's whether a soul possesses enough power to make a meal for the Under King.” (Jackie, 59:45)
“Hunt realizes they are hearing this because the under king has already decided that they are not to leave the bone quarter alive.” (Jackie, 62:04)
“I'm gonna make some wine. ... I'm getting juiced over here.” (Natalie, on her too-tight crown, 37:53)
“I feel like it's in, like, akin to, like, if you're going to see the under King, dress as if like you're riding on a motorcycle.” (Natalie, 35:25)
“The cajones on this bitch! ... Come into my house and start demanding that you see things.” (Natalie, 56:49)
“He tells them that the sailings are done as a cope so that people don't have to face the truth of what they are. Livestock.” (Jackie, paraphrasing, 60:32)
A comedic cold-read of one of the book’s most explicit sex scenes (Bryce and Hunt), performed in-character by Jared Logan and Holden McNeely, with frequent interruptions, commentary, and total juvenile glee.
“Nothing gets me harder than the idea of a woman with four breasts.” (65:17)
Read up until Chapter 32!