LPN Deep Dives: HOSAB / Episode 2: Statler and Waldorf at the Ballet

Summary

LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City
Episode 2: "Statler and Waldorf at the Ballet"
Release Date: June 17, 2025
Hosted by Natalie Jean and Jackie Zebrowski

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Episode Overview

In the second episode of the much-anticipated series "LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City," hosts Natalie Jean and Jackie Zebrowski delve deeper into Sarah J. Maas's acclaimed adult science fiction novel series, Crescent City. Titled "Statler and Waldorf at the Ballet," this episode focuses on the intricacies of House of Sky and Breath, the second installment in the series. Natalie and Jackie combine comprehensive analysis with their signature witty banter, providing listeners with an engaging breakdown of the novel's key elements, character developments, and overarching themes.

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In-Depth Analysis of House of Sky and Breath

**1. Character Development and Dynamics
Natalie and Jackie begin by exploring the evolution of central characters, particularly Bryce Quinlan and Hunt Athalar. They highlight Bryce's struggles with her newfound fame after saving the city and her attempts to lead a quieter life through her job at the Fae Archives. Jackie humorously comments, "Bryce is the only one who steps up and saves the entire family as of, what, a sixth grader?" (04:05), emphasizing her pivotal role.

**2. Themes of Trauma and Healing
The hosts discuss how Bryce copes with PTSD, referencing her return to ballet as a therapeutic escape. Natalie notes, "She actually does understand to an extent. She's not angry or anything. She knows that she did something that was like pretty extraordinary a few months ago and good on her because you need to claim your power, know your worth" (17:29). Jackie adds, "With every single way, including how hard you work" (06:11), underscoring Bryce's journey towards self-acceptance and healing.

**3. Plot Progression and World-Building
Natalie provides a succinct refresher on the series' lore, explaining the significance of the Asteri and their influence over Bryce and Hunt's lives. "Bryce had killed Micah the Archangel, Hunt killed Sandriel, the archangel, which in itself should have been their death warrants," Natalie explains (13:01). Jackie muses on the enigmatic nature of the Asteri, stating, "They are all knowing and all powerful. And I am just a mere mortal" (13:39), highlighting the looming threats and unanswered questions in the narrative.

---

Key Discussions and Insights

**1. The Balance Between Personal Life and Heroism
Natalie and Jackie delve into the complexities Bryce faces as she balances her personal relationships with her responsibilities as a savior. Jackie remarks, "I can't get you chocolate. I have to stir these clothes in a bowl" (02:54), using Bryce's humorous side to illustrate her personal struggles amidst her heroic actions.

**2. Romantic Tensions and Relationship Dynamics
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to exploring the evolving relationship between Bryce and Hunt. Natalie reflects on their "situationship," noting the delicate balance they've struck by delaying deeper romantic involvement until the winter solstice. Jackie humorously compares their flirtatious banter to classic sitcom characters, saying, "We can be your Statler and Waldorf" (44:31), adding levity to their analysis.

**3. Parental Influences and Family Dynamics
The episode touches on Bryce's interactions with her mother, Ember, and stepfather, Randall. Natalie discusses how Ember's constant needling about Bryce and Hunt's relationship mirrors real-life parental pressures. Jackie adds, "The orchestrating their irritation and disgust palpable" (48:22), emphasizing the tension between familial expectations and personal desires.

**4. Thematic Use of Art and Symbolism in the Novel
Natalie highlights the significance of sculptures and murals within House of Sky and Breath, which serve as both plot devices and symbolic representations of the series' lore. "It's a review too. For I think the readers know Hell to. As a sinister force from another" (31:30), Natalie explains, while Jackie connects it to visual storytelling, saying, "But it's in a more fun way" (30:36).

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Natalie Jean: "She had to see something that Charlie was wearing a red turtleneck, but it's blue." (05:07)
  Referring to character Costume Analysis.

• Jackie Zebrowski: "I really don't think I'd like looking like a woman in crisis, like, I look like I wanted to be on Big Little Lies." (06:29)
  Discussing character portrayals and aesthetics.

• Natalie Jean: "She can just drag him into the coat closet... show him precisely how much she likes that suit." (63:08)
  Analyzing character interactions and underlying tensions.

• Jackie Zebrowski: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And I think that's only going to help me grow." (55:14)
  Reflecting on coping mechanisms and personal growth.

• Natalie Jean: "She is trying to prepare for some sort of long game or something. Interesting." (65:24)
  Discussing Bryce's strategic approach to her relationship.

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Conclusions and Final Thoughts

Natalie and Jackie wrap up the episode by summarizing Bryce's ongoing journey towards balancing her duty and personal happiness. They emphasize Bryce's growth, her strategic delay in deepening her relationship with Hunt, and the ever-present threats from formidable forces like the Asteri. The hosts commend Sarah J. Maas for her intricate world-building and the depth of her characters, making Crescent City a compelling read for adult science fiction enthusiasts.

Jackie closes with a playful note, "It's just a game now, and thinking about Richard Gere shoving gerbils up his ass is our generation's game next to the game," (45:34), blending humor with their analytical discussion.

Listeners are encouraged to continue following the series as Natalie and Jackie provide insightful breakdowns of each installment, ensuring both newcomers and long-time fans gain a richer understanding of Crescent City's expansive universe.

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Upcoming Topics

In the next episode, Natalie and Jackie plan to explore the unfolding events in House of Sky and Breath, focusing on the intricate relationships between new and returning characters, and the escalating tensions that threaten Midgard. They tease a deeper dive into the lore surrounding the Bone Zone and the mysterious Prince Aidas, promising more engaging discussions and delightful banter.

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Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ for an ad-free listening experience and join Natalie and Jackie as they continue their "deep dive" into the Crescent City series. Start your free trial on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com/podcastsplus today!

Transcript

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[Natalie Jean]

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[Natalie Jean]

But up.

[McDonald's]

Welcome to Crescent City with your hosts, Natalie Jean and Jackie Zabrowski.

[Natalie Jean]

Chucky, I have actually some news for you.

[McDonald's]

What?

[Natalie Jean]

I've got a golden tick.

[McDonald's]

Don't you dare. Okay. Don't you dare.

[Natalie Jean]

I've got a golden tick.

[McDonald's]

Don't you give me everybody. I need everybody to know. Natalie. Oh, Natalie's having a field day over here with me and my wig. Okay, maybe I was trying to dress up as a sexy character. Okay, maybe I went and I got a wig because I was looking for something that was like curly, like a little bit more like foppish prince. And it's a really given Bucket. And not in the way that I want to be filled.

[Natalie Jean]

I think it's just the combo of the hair with the turtleneck.

[McDonald's]

It's a rough. But that's what he's wearing.

[Natalie Jean]

But I'm saying it's great. I knew who you were immediately, which, by the way, we don't get to that character.

[McDonald's]

We don't even get into the character.

[Natalie Jean]

So in this episode, as far as we all know, you are just cosplaying as Charlie Bucket.

[McDonald's]

So maybe everyone feel a little fucking bad for me.

[Natalie Jean]

No.

[McDonald's]

Because my grandparents are stressed to a bag.

[Natalie Jean]

Charlie. Charlie Bucket's life is bullshit.

[McDonald's]

My family is currently being abused in front of me, and I'm doing nothing about it except, Whoa, I want chocolate, mother.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, I can't get you chocolate. I have to stir these clothes in a bowl.

[McDonald's]

Yep. Big clothing soup. You got to get that clothing soup, momm. And maybe you would be doing a better job of feeding me if you would stop singing into the ether and get a job.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, if I was his mom, I would be also Dissociating and depressed as being like, this is my life. This is it. I feel my husband screws on toothpaste caps for his job, and they pay him 5 cents a week.

[McDonald's]

This is the thing.

[Natalie Jean]

What happened to me.

[McDonald's]

Has a lot changed since Charlie and Chocolate Factory? No, no. And I would be just as upset as she is, especially if my kid looked like this. And I'd be like, you know what? You got to do something about maybe Charlie. The family would be more successful if you didn't look like such a little idiot.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, I will say, though, Charlie is the only one who steps up and saves the entire family as of, what, a sixth grader?

[McDonald's]

I mean, thank God at least he went after that ticket. But he should have been going after a job. You're gonna work that hard?

[Natalie Jean]

He doesn' good. He doesn't have good role models with his parents.

[McDonald's]

Don't worry about me, mother. I'm going to drink a secret drink, and I'm going to burp into the.

[Natalie Jean]

Fans with my grandfather almost got chopped up.

[McDonald's]

Oh. Sometimes I got a boop out of the fans, Jackie.

[Natalie Jean]

It really is just very good.

[McDonald's]

I'm sorry. Are you so sexually attracted to me that you can't even sit?

[Natalie Jean]

I don't think legally I can say that I'm sexually.

[McDonald's]

Why with this wig on, what is like. This is supposed to be a grown man's haircut?

[Natalie Jean]

Well, this. Men's wigs are. They're difficult.

[McDonald's]

Men's. Can we please talk about revolutionizing men's wigs, the world of men's wigs? Because a lot of them are bad, and I think. Whoa, hot takes. I think a lot of them are just women's wigs.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, yeah.

[McDonald's]

That they either cut or with this. I don't know. Did they just brush out the curls of, like, a. Like a Lucy wig that went bad?

[Natalie Jean]

I think it might have just been made by a machine.

[McDonald's]

Oh.

[Natalie Jean]

I actually don't know how wigs are made.

[McDonald's]

Anybody let us know, that would be great. I know that I need to find somebody that makes a better wig.

[Natalie Jean]

Charlie Wig Factory.

[McDonald's]

If I'm going to continue being this big character in the book, I wanted.

[Natalie Jean]

To see if he was wearing a white turtleneck, but I. It's red.

[McDonald's]

It's a red one.

[Natalie Jean]

And there's a blue one.

[McDonald's]

Man, he loves his turtlenecks. Was somebody sucking on your neck, little kid? I think it's cold.

[Natalie Jean]

He's very underweight.

[McDonald's]

Oh, gotcha. And so he's cold because his parents.

[Natalie Jean]

Don'T feed him and he has to go find a man in a factory. You never want your kid to be hanging out with a man in a factory.

[McDonald's]

Yes, there's some dude that's inviting kids to his home. Nah. Especially once you find out that he lives there. I guess they all assume he lives there because they all wait for him to come out.

[Natalie Jean]

Man.

[McDonald's]

Imagine just a whole gaggle of people. And I'm not talking about the paps, like, we have to deal with, obviously, but imagine.

[Natalie Jean]

I wish they would back off of me.

[McDonald's]

I know. Always, you're just like, you're the Hilaria of this family. Natalie.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm always saying in every single way.

[McDonald's]

Every single way, including how hard you work.

[Natalie Jean]

Thank you. I think that's an insult, but I hate the wig.

[McDonald's]

But I think that it is. It's given me something.

[Natalie Jean]

I think you look adorable.

[McDonald's]

I look like a woman in crisis. Like, I look like I wanted to be on Big Little Lies. And they said, oh, girl, I know we have people that look like you, but not on this show. And so I just cried on the outside of Big Little Lies. Oh, my husband is so cold. He hasn't touched breasting nigh on a phone. Young.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, you do have a little bit of a 90s thriller mom who's being, like, stalked, and nobody believes her.

[McDonald's]

You're right. I'm falling in love with this. You're so right. I definitely. I. This is sleeping with the enemy. This is like. This is like, oh, yeah, you're right. And I am upset, and I'm not going to take it anymore.

[Natalie Jean]

They're trying to put her in a mental institution, and she's like, this is not. This is happening to me.

[McDonald's]

But again, please put me in a mental institution. Like, if we could get, like, a good one. Like, I'm talking about, like, a nice. Like, I'm talking, like, break How Martha Stewart Went to Prison. I want that kind of mental institution.

[Natalie Jean]

I. I could. I could honestly use it. It would be nice to have the break.

[McDonald's]

Lobotomy. No one will give them. They don't give them willingly. And I feel like, let's talk about that consent issue.

[Natalie Jean]

But were we talking about that on spun? Because I just talked about this maybe with Amber.

[McDonald's]

Lobotomies a lot.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, we've been talking about just, like, a mini. Like, is there a way you can do a half lobotomy? Like, just a. Like a mini one.

[McDonald's]

Like, just take some of it away.

[Natalie Jean]

Like, how you do. You can do, like, half a facelift.

[McDonald's]

I think that's why everybody liked Quds back in the day.

[Natalie Jean]

Why?

[McDonald's]

I think that was.

[Natalie Jean]

That's what, like a mini lobotomy.

[McDonald's]

The lewds, y' all.

[Natalie Jean]

What is the quote?

[McDonald's]

Remember Ques.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, but, like, what is it? I don't know.

[McDonald's]

I guess it's like a downer of some sort. But I know you can't get them anymore. But there's something about the phrase, oh, I took a bunch of lewds that always made me curious about it.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, for sure. It's also. I feel like I just associate it with key parties.

[McDonald's]

Yeah. Yes. Like, I feel like I. I'm in a sequin jumpsuit and I don't know who I'm going home with. Especially in this turtleneck. Anything can happen in this.

[Natalie Jean]

You are being a little suggestive with that turtleneck.

[McDonald's]

You're right. I shouldn't be showing this much upper neck.

[Natalie Jean]

There's a little bit between your ear.

[McDonald's]

I should be at it.

[Natalie Jean]

Yes, please. There you go.

[McDonald's]

You want to love me. Well, you love me. Actually, you know what I'm give. This is given Fester. Now I'm just talking about all. All of the characters. I'm not. That's what this is.

[Natalie Jean]

When. When Debbie has, like, transformed.

[McDonald's]

This is what. Now you literally have to go to the YouTube. Go over. We should say you should be subbing over on our YouTube where all of our episodes are dropping. All of our episodes from Crescent One are currently dropping. But you must go watch us. We dress up for you. We want you to see us dressed up.

[Natalie Jean]

We have branched off from the Last Podcast Network YouTube channel because we were fighting against the current of true crime algorithms.

[McDonald's]

And so, yeah, we won't get into the nitty gritty. Annoying. Annoying. Boring. Boring. All you need to know is LPN Romantasy. Not you. I meant like, the rest of it. No, you give. Gave a good TLDR. That's what I was looking for. Great summary, but YouTube and search at LPN Romantasy and give us a follow, please, and get all your info over there.

[Natalie Jean]

It's a great way to help us for free. Also, give us a rating on the apps if you have.

[McDonald's]

If you can. That's pretty great.

[Natalie Jean]

It does actually help us. I know you hear that all the time with every show you listen to, but it's because it's true.

[McDonald's]

It is and it does. And it is. And we appreciate you. And especially if I'm looking this. I don't want to say good. If I'm looking, this coming out look.

[Natalie Jean]

Like a boy who came from poverty and got his family out of poverty.

[McDonald's]

Do I? Or do I look like the one that never did? No, I feel like this is Charlie Bucket. Charlie is what he is.

[Natalie Jean]

No, because I don't think so. I don't think. I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that.

[McDonald's]

I guess he did a lot.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, we're going into the chasm. Part one of House of Sky and Breath. We had just last week covered the prologue, which was an entire new assortment of characters.

[McDonald's]

Damn right.

[Natalie Jean]

As well as a couple that we have kind of just heard of to this point. So we can tell there's going to be a lot of twists and turns in this book and a lot of.

[McDonald's]

People coming and going and a lot.

[Natalie Jean]

Of kists and churns.

[McDonald's]

I.

[Natalie Jean]

You know what's crazy?

[McDonald's]

Yes. Turns of hip and thrusts of hip. I really didn't think that I would like the second book more than the first book, but I did.

[Natalie Jean]

I do like the second book a lot.

[McDonald's]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

There is more kissing in it also.

[McDonald's]

And that, I mean, y' all know that's what I'm here for. Not as much of the holding it back in this one, which is good because we had how many hundreds of pages?

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, well, they're still holding it back. Don't you worry. We got some. We got some pages. We got some pages.

[McDonald's]

Yeah. Because Bryce makes some decisions. So who's that on?

[Natalie Jean]

We're back with Bryce, baby. We are finally back with the characters we have grown to learn and love and know from the first book. And Bryce.

[McDonald's]

But don't worry, all those other characters, they ain't going nowhere.

[Natalie Jean]

Most of them ain't, that's for sure. She is at the ballet in the first chapter and not ballet class. She is going to see the ballet. Specifically, she's at the ballet with her mother and her stepfather, Randall. Or the father who stepped up.

[McDonald's]

Oh, God, I love him. Oh, I love him.

[Natalie Jean]

To see Juniper in her debut featured role.

[McDonald's]

Good for you, bitch. Working so hard.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, that's a big old. Yay. Because when we last left Bryson Hunt, things were not going great for the world.

[McDonald's]

Yeah. A little dicey.

[Natalie Jean]

And, you know, through the end of the book, saw Bryce, you know, we did see her thinking optimistically towards the end, but for the future. But there were many loose ends. Ends in that book that would prevent that from occurring.

[McDonald's]

Because that's the thing. The bad people are still in charge.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, yeah.

[McDonald's]

They still run everything.

[Natalie Jean]

There is a bunch of stuff that still could go poorly. But as a quick refresher, Bryce had killed Micah the Archangel Hunt Killed Sandriel, the archangel, which that in itself should have been their death warrants. But the Asteri have kept them alive for their own reasons that we don't know.

[McDonald's]

I feel like that'll be fine and will never flesh out.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. But I don't think it was good planning on their end. I. I will say that. But we can't know the aary thoughts. They are all knowing and all powerful. And I am just a. I'm just a mere mortal.

[McDonald's]

Yes.

[Natalie Jean]

So why are you looking at spiders?

[McDonald's]

I was looking up arachnophobia. I'm trying to think specifically of what 90s wife I am. I can't figure out who it is. There is one that is like a slight. It's like a slight woman with a very similar dumb haircut. And I feel like it's all her going like, oh, oh, stay back, stay back. Like, I feel like me doing that is get. Like I'm having. Like I'm. I'm having deja vu and I can't shake it. And I don't think it's her, but.

[Natalie Jean]

It'S not the mom from the good.

[McDonald's]

Song from the good but esque like that. Like, that's why I looked up arachnophobia. Because I was like, is it that? Like what? I am going to let this go. I will at some point let this go. But we will.

[Natalie Jean]

A little bit pet cemetery.

[McDonald's]

Ooh, a little bit pet cemetery. A little bit pet cemetery. Yes. Okay. And anybody else, you know, underneath the social media, let me know. What am I given?

[Natalie Jean]

Who is she serving? So we're not. We're with a very different kind of mother on this chapter one.

[McDonald's]

And Randall, the.

[Natalie Jean]

He is a actually get it. Get it.

[McDonald's]

I want to have sex with them both, man. Oh, yeah. I just. Oh, baby. Of all.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, I can't say that I'm dressed as Bryce.

[McDonald's]

Ew. Ew, Ew. I can say it.

[Natalie Jean]

You can say it.

[McDonald's]

You don't even know who I am.

[Natalie Jean]

Your child.

[McDonald's]

Yep. But I've got a golden ticket.

[Natalie Jean]

You have got a golden ticket. So the asterisk should have maybe killed them off, but they didn't. And in fact have rewarded them with Hunt's release from servitude. As long as the two of them keep a low profile and just live quiet lives.

[McDonald's]

And man, are they really good at doing that. Oh, yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, even though Bryce. I agree. I imagine both of them would want quiet life.

[McDonald's]

Would love to be left alone.

[Natalie Jean]

But some people don't get that chance. No, some people don't have that choice.

[McDonald's]

And think about that.

[Natalie Jean]

She's technically a princess. Yeah, and Hunt is the amber mortis, but they can try.

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[Natalie Jean]

They'Re in the lobby of the theater and man do I love an ornate, traditional, classical kind of ballet, orchestra, theater. Yes, all or you know, just like tons of sculptural accents and chandeliers, all.

[McDonald's]

The moldings and all that.

[Natalie Jean]

Yes, there's a lunathion. Sounds really nice, I'll tell you. There are large marble statues throughout the hall depicting different characters from Midgards mythology that Bryce's parents are admiring as we open the book. Bryce feels mostly anticipatory excitement for seeing June in her performance, but is also uncomfortably aware of the number of people gawking at her as they meander through the building pre show because of course, as you recall, she saved the city and she healed a bunch of people who were dying with the first light.

[McDonald's]

When she did her job just like everybody else. Guys, don't look at me.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, she is. She. She actually does understand to an extent. She's not angry or anything. She knows that she did something that was like pretty extraordinary a few months ago and good on her because you need to claim your power, know your worth. And she saved a lot of people. But her thoughts also immediately always go to those who didn't make it because if they had died before she did her job, they don't come back.

[McDonald's]

It's just, it's just like do we do this for. With everything? It's like, oh, like I know it can't be just a gendered problem. They feel like just like we talk about this all the time, you can get thousands of positive comments and one negative one and what do you stay up at night thinking about? And it's just, why do our brains do this to ourselves? It's like, bitch, you saved everybody. Yes, a lot of people died, but think of how many more people would have died if you hadn't done it.

[Natalie Jean]

And our comments. We're basically like Bryce.

[McDonald's]

We're just like saving the world.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, through. I mean, joy.

[McDonald's]

I. I am publicly wearing this wig. If this isn't saving lives, I don't know what is.

[Natalie Jean]

Who is. Truly, for sure. I don't think that's gendered either. At least I know some gentlemen in our lives who.

[McDonald's]

Who struggle with it, struggle with that.

[Natalie Jean]

But yes, I think a lot for women, I think maybe it's a little more common to just never accept your value and worth the things you've done and only think about the things you should have done or like the people you should have cared for.

[McDonald's]

I'm fine.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, you're a guy today.

[McDonald's]

Yeah, the wig says it all. I'm sorry, Will you. Were you so taken aback with how beautiful I look?

[Natalie Jean]

Little bit fisherman.

[McDonald's]

Yeah, just a good fisherman. Always have it.

[Natalie Jean]

That's a little bit there.

[McDonald's]

Yeah. He was bald, though, I think.

[Natalie Jean]

No, but I think you're like.

[McDonald's]

Like the young one. Like.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, like. Like the porn version of it.

[McDonald's]

Oh, okay.

[Natalie Jean]

Those fish stick fanatics.

[McDonald's]

I mean, if you are out there writing Gorton's Fisherman Fan or Slash Vic, send it my way. I'd love to read it. They ever tell you about the smut I was reading about? Clippy? Remember the paperclip?

[Natalie Jean]

I remember it. I don't know about the sex literature.

[McDonald's]

He.

[Natalie Jean]

With what?

[McDonald's]

Whatever he can.

[Natalie Jean]

Does he use his clip?

[McDonald's]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Ew.

[McDonald's]

Yeah. He has to understand.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, no, that's. It seems like it'd be sharp.

[McDonald's]

He has to do it for the get.

[Natalie Jean]

No, that seems.

[McDonald's]

You understand what he gets at the end. Unbent.

[Natalie Jean]

I don't think that would be. I don't think that would feel good.

[McDonald's]

Seemed like he was having a blast.

[Natalie Jean]

What about his partners?

[McDonald's]

Oh, I mean, well, I don't know if they're having a good time, but, you know, they are. They are there.

[Natalie Jean]

I hate this.

[McDonald's]

Honestly. Technically, he seduces the person using him through the document and he like he last action heroes himself into her. Which is kind of what we're all hoping for.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm just gonna move forward.

[McDonald's]

Okay.

[Natalie Jean]

Her thoughts go to those who didn't make it because she couldn't heal all those who were wounded. If they were dead, they were dead.

[McDonald's]

I know.

[Natalie Jean]

She and Hunt watched all of their boats crossing into the Bone Zone from the sky after they had finally started to bury them.

[McDonald's]

Sorry. It's so hard that the Bone Zone is not a center. It's just. I can't. Like, the Bone Zone sounds like. Just like.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, yeah, it was. It was not. It was meant to be a jape.

[McDonald's]

Oh. Oh. Were you making japeries about zones and death? Yeah, and I loved it.

[Natalie Jean]

Good. She's shaken from her thoughts by her mother embarrassing her, shouting at all of the gawkers that she charges to have pictures taken of Bryce.

[McDonald's]

Amber.

[Natalie Jean]

Amber.

[McDonald's]

Oh, my God. I'd do anything for you.

[Natalie Jean]

You're a little pip.

[McDonald's]

Good Lord.

[Natalie Jean]

Ember is in. There's some fashion here. She's in a silky gray gown and pashmina. Yes, Randall. Navy suits.

[McDonald's]

Can you imagine Randall just like.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, yeah, he's foxy, for sure.

[McDonald's]

You know, the two and, oh, you know, they still get it, of course.

[Natalie Jean]

Come on, now. Bryson. Randall both try to shush Ember from embarrassing the family, but Ember gives Randall the stink eye. He masterfully turns the conversation to another statue for them to look at, saying, oh, look, this one looks like Hunt trying to just distract his wife from embarrassing everybody, which is cute. It is cute. She turns, and Bryce can see the resemblance of Hunt in this statue. It's an ancient hunk of meat forging a sword.

[McDonald's]

Into it. Yeah, give me big old hunka.

[Natalie Jean]

What is this character you're doing?

[McDonald's]

It's the hair. I really feel like I, I. I feel like it's. It's like the last episode. There's something about these wicks, something about these wigs.

[Natalie Jean]

But what is this character?

[McDonald's]

I don't know. I'm a menace. I'm definitely, like, a sex pest in some capacity.

[Natalie Jean]

Okay, yes, I can see you.

[McDonald's]

I. But, like, as a 90s mother character in a horror movie sex fest, that is.

[Natalie Jean]

That's a lot.

[McDonald's]

It's a. I contain multitudes, maybe.

[Natalie Jean]

Are you being piloted by Clippy?

[McDonald's]

Oh, my God. He's inside of me this whole time. It's like when you put on the. The vibrators when someone else is, like, using the vibrator from far away, but you're in public.

[Natalie Jean]

I meant more piloting you, like in, like, in Men in Black. Oh.

[McDonald's]

Like living inside of my brain and. Oh. Oh, Well, I didn't think about that. You're right. You are very right. Oh, God. How did he get all his whole body inside of me?

[Natalie Jean]

That's not a question I can answer.

[McDonald's]

He's gonna rip through my intestines at some point.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, you're the one who said he was people with that and in. That sounded like it hurts.

[McDonald's]

I know. I did this to us. Oh. Oh. Its label read simply unknown sculptor Palmyra circa 125ve. Bryce lifted her mobile and snapped a photo. Pulling up her messaging thread with Hunt. Athelar is better at Sunball than I am. Oh, my God. You know, they're, like, getting into it because they keep changing the name of their chat.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, that is that playful joke from the first book whenever Bryce started to try to crack the shell of Hunt and pretend like she wasn't just taking sexy photos herself for him to look at later and being like, I'm just being stupid, but, oh, my breasts are out.

[McDonald's]

I feel like, though, at the same time, wouldn't you feel differently about your phone if your phone's pictures were used as a slideshow while you're getting tortured? I feel like I'd probably have a different reaction with the phone from then on out.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. I mean, for sure. I think the other side of that is that they've seen so much death that you.

[McDonald's]

Yeah. And he was. He's been tortured for so many, many, many years.

[Natalie Jean]

He will take. He will take tidpcks under any circumstance.

[McDonald's]

Yeah. I just.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[McDonald's]

At this point is really where I start to worry. Are we processing this, guys?

[Natalie Jean]

No.

[McDonald's]

Feel like we're not.

[Natalie Jean]

Absolutely not. Let's just keep pushing it back. Yeah, look at. I think we should just keep pushing it back underneath the rug. Nothing will ever happen.

[McDonald's]

Okay.

[Ameca Insurance]

Oh, okay.

[McDonald's]

All right. Yep.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. So they had started this. This trend with. With changing each other's, like, contacts of their own name in the contacts. I'm not a huge fan of going into each other's phones. I. I don't hide anything. I don't think my husband's hiding anything, but I think it's weird to look through your partner's personal. If that's their. That's your private stuff. If you trust somebody, you don't need to be doing that. And they're not obviously looking at each other's stuff. But I'm not going into Henry's phone.

[McDonald's]

No. I don't even want to do it as a jape. Like, the most that I would do that is, like, when I go over to your house and I change Henry's names, like, on the Apple TV to all the sign in apps. That's fun.

[Natalie Jean]

You do that. But as does Julia. We're all changed to, like, butt boys.

[McDonald's]

And. Yeah. No, it's all very, very stupid. Yes. And you never change them back. And I appreciate that because it's dedication and we're dedicated to our craft and we must change it every time we touch your television. But that's open for public consumption. I'm not going into your phones.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, you're not reading emails and stuff.

[McDonald's]

But I do think it's funny that we do bring this up a lot that like, I think 20 something years ago, Henry put in Holden McNeely as fuckface into his contacts. And even in professional emails, Holden is still, still face. And it's, it's always. It's a little laugh.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[McDonald's]

It gets you every time.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. It's too late to turn back now.

[McDonald's]

No, you could never turn it back. You can't rename something. No.

[Natalie Jean]

Even though he's a father now and.

[McDonald's]

And technically we are all professionals, like talking to people that we're sending emails to strangers and stuff.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, I mean, Henry's LLC is poo poo pickle.

[McDonald's]

Yeah. You know, there's only so much you can pretend like you're not a freak for a pay freak on. At least Henry ain't on a leash though. That's why I'm scared of them. I.

[Natalie Jean]

So they have their playful joke and it's, it's a great like little tidbit into. They're kind of like becoming almost, I don't want to say normal, but they have this stuff that's not just trauma and like fear and pain together and.

[McDonald's]

I guess that's nice.

[Natalie Jean]

So she sees that he has changed his name and you know, is feels warm feelings about it. And her thoughts rest on a recent trip to the sun ball field together, which kind of is giving us a glimpse into a sense of normalcy between them that they're at least attempting to go on normal dates.

[McDonald's]

You know, you imagine how uncomfortable it would be to go on that first date. Like I feel like it would be like going on an actual first date because they never really got to. So going on that and having that experience. Oh, I'm sure it was like you imagine all the feelings before doing it. Like, like I know this person, but also like I don't.

[Natalie Jean]

Every time somebody's jumped out of a helicopter and landed on top of me to save me, I've always friend zoned them because I just can't.

[McDonald's]

I get it over. I get. I. I get you queen. I understand. Yeah. You can't do that.

[Natalie Jean]

So far, the moving into a simpler life seems to be working out to an extent. It's Only been a few months at this point during the story after the city was destroyed. So we're still kind of freshly recovering.

[McDonald's]

Oh, yeah. Everybody's still healing. Like, this is. We're not even at a place where it's like, oh, I can't believe this happened here. It's like, no. Everything is still kind of destroyed.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. The family moves on to another sculpture in the lobby that Bryce reads. Depicts the first wars, the screaming creatures in the tableau. And in the freeze, which is the molding that's sculpted. That's what that's called.

[McDonald's]

Oh.

[Natalie Jean]

It's spelled freeze. Sends a bit of PTSD through her body. She sees the depiction of this war, and it takes her back to the day when the creatures came out of.

[McDonald's]

The portals, which fair obviously, and I just happened that it's not like the murals in the Parks and Rec office, but it does kind of make me think of the murals at the parks office in the show.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm sure it's exactly like that. The PTSD is coursing through her, looking at this image, and she wants to quickly move on. So she kind of thinks about how she's returned to ballet class as a method of keeping the thoughts at bay. Good for you. That's a hooray.

[McDonald's]

It is good. That is a good self care that is working on you, but also in a way to heal and a way to grow. I'm proud of you.

[Natalie Jean]

It gives you endorphins, need. It gives you distraction. You just be very present when you're in class.

[McDonald's]

Need it. And also remember, she couldn't dance like in the last book. She couldn't. Her brain wouldn't let her even think about going back to dance. So this also shows how she is working on herself. And I'm proud of you, baby.

[Natalie Jean]

Bryce. They come to another sculpture series that shows the seven princes of Hell. It's kind of a fun device in this first chapter to re have us review all the plot points with, like, literal, like, images. Just be like, remember this part? Remember this one?

[McDonald's]

But it's in a more fun way, rather. Yeah, like exposition dump. You know what I mean? And also, you know, there's some time between the two books. I know we had the opportunity to go right from the first book immediately into the second book.

[Natalie Jean]

No, I think it's a great device that you can. You're. They're in a physical location where they can review the parts of the version.

[McDonald's]

Yeah, they're like in a zoo.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, they kind of are. Bryce translates the description underneath the sculpture. Of the seven princes of Hell. As it is written in an old Fae language. Her parents aren't fluid in. This one says, thus the seven princes of Hell looked in envy upon Midgard and unleashed their unholy hordes upon. Upon our united armies. Dramatic much so Midgard. This is a review too. For I think the readers knows Hell to. As a sinister force from another.

[McDonald's]

Different than our Hell because it only has one L. Everyone remember that.

[Natalie Jean]

Very different. Also, they acknowledged it exists as like a physical place because creatures from it appear from time to time and they know it's on a different plane. There's like a portal that they come through. And it is their belief is that the creatures of Hell are trying to get into Midgard to steal it. The events of the past spring helped perpetuate the idea of that since all of those creatures came out and tried to kill everyone. But Bryce knows something her parents don't, and that's that Aidas, the Prince of the Pit. Which is not the lowest level of Hell, but I think the fifth. Fifth one or fourth one, I forget.

[McDonald's]

And he's Cat daddy.

[Natalie Jean]

He's been. Yes. He's been visiting her since her Oracle reading at age 13. And seems to want to help her in some ways, which is, you know, counterintuitive to the idea that they're all just trying to like, dominate the Midgard. While Bryce doesn't have a read on Hell that's much different than anybody else. Aidas's behavior would at least suggest it's more complicated than Hell collectively wanting Midgard domination. Not to mention the epilogue from House of Earth and Blood where Jesupa and Aidas are meeting as apparent homies who have eyes on looking out for Bryce. We don't know for sure. They're not bad, but I don't know, you kind of get the sense that they're not.

[McDonald's]

That they're gonna help her.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[McDonald's]

And I feel like usually SJM is pretty good at laying down when we don't trust. But she's also very good at keeping the world of the Nebulous open.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh yeah, Very much so. You never know which way she's gonna die. Through their conversations, we learn that Bryce has taken a new job at the Fae Archives, partly due to her work at the Antiquity store. And she admits to herself she also got it because of her princess status. But, like, whatever. There's so many worse things you could do with a princess.

[McDonald's]

Yeah, she's so much more than just a princess and a savior of the world.

[Natalie Jean]

With the princess status, you could do lots of horrible things. If you can get a job with it, that's like helping do something, then get the job, girl.

[McDonald's]

It's like being a Nepo baby. I feel like it's the same thing, you know, it's like you have other privileges. Well, what are you going to do with those privileges? What are you going to do with it?

[Natalie Jean]

Do something productive. Yes, exactly. So Amber wishes she would have tried for a job. Her mom. So her mom is kind of needling into her a little bit during the scene because they argue all the time as moms and daughters are wanting jail.

[McDonald's]

God, just like a Lorelei and Rory. Okay.

[Natalie Jean]

Very fast talking.

[McDonald's]

I imagine Bryce and Ember speak so quickly to each other that Randall half the time isn't really following.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, he's not listening.

[McDonald's]

Right. I feel like he's just like, I don't know whatever they're gonna say, he.

[Natalie Jean]

Steps in when he needs to. But, like, obviously Ember and. And Randall have a dynamic that they've worked out over the years, and he just lets her talk until he's like, oh, she's getting too old. Who worked up?

[McDonald's]

And that's how you're describing my marriage.

[Natalie Jean]

That is how happy marriages work.

[McDonald's]

Good. All right. All right. Good.

[Ameca Insurance]

Hey, I'm Paul Scheer.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm June Diane Rayfield.

[Ameca Insurance]

And I'm Jason Manzoukas. And we're the hosts of how did this Get Made? A comedy podcast where we deconstruct, make fun of, and celebrate the best worst movies ever made. Have you ever seen a movie that's so bad that it's actually good? That's what we're talking about. From blockbuster franchises and made for TV romances to bonkers 80s action flicks and obscure sci fi musicals, we cover it all. You can find. How did this get made? Wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode. Idiot. Running a business means I wear lots of hats. Luckily, when it's time to put on my hiring hat, I can count on LinkedIn to make it easy. I can post a job for free or pay to promote it and get three times more qualified candidates. Imagine finding your next grade hire in 24 hours. 86% of small businesses do with LinkedIn. I can also easily share my job with my network. No other job site lets me do that. Post your free [e-mail] acquire. That's LinkedIn.com acquire. Terms and conditions apply.

[Natalie Jean]

So Bryce is annoyed, of course, but her mom tells her she wishes that she would have tried for a job at Crescent City Ballet's art department. And Bryce starts to argue with her. Bryce wants Ember to be honest about the dislike of her new job, because Ember is. She's, like, acknowledging it that she doesn't want her to be working in the sector of her sperm donor, which is fair. The Autumn King is dangerous.

[McDonald's]

Yep.

[Natalie Jean]

Bryce reiterates that the job doesn't interact with the Autumn King at all. But a flustered Bryce also tells her she needed a job, so she took it. It Griffins is gone now. We learn it was not rebuilt after the. The. You know, the after effects of that. That day, because it took a lot of damage and they didn't rebuild it. It seems like Jesica wanted to take it all and protect it in a different place, because now they were on the radar.

[McDonald's]

I understand Jesiba. I mean, Jesiba is so mysterious. Like, whatever reasons you've got, okay. I ain't girl. Whatever you need.

[Natalie Jean]

So all this stuff, especially the most important stuff, are the books that we have learned. The basement holds the remainder of the library of Parthos, which is the real history of humankind that the Asteri tried to erase. And she managed to, you know, spell those books so they didn't get destroyed in the flood.

[McDonald's]

It's pretty cool.

[Natalie Jean]

But she needs to move them so that they don't catch on to what those books are.

[McDonald's]

She's pretty powerful.

[Natalie Jean]

She might be kind of a baddie. So that's all moved. There's no job there for Bryce anymore, and that has moved elsewhere. That Bryce can't work. We learned that her culture.

[McDonald's]

I just feel like if you save Midgard, she should have been given, like, I don't know, like, a loan that doesn't have to be paid back right away. Like, I feel like.

[Natalie Jean]

I think the prize is that they just.

[McDonald's]

They didn't kill her. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Like, take Hunt away.

[McDonald's]

Yes. Or. Oh, yeah. Or disappear them, you know, or that. And I. I understand that, but, like, a little bit.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, I agree. I'd be like, I can't be in a stereo because I'd want people to be happy.

[McDonald's]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

She thinks of the fateful day and glances down at her chest, at the mark that now lives there.

[McDonald's]

Look at it, Natalie. You did good. I. I meant to look at it, but then I realized it just looked like I was looking at your breasts. And I apologize, because I did see them.

[Natalie Jean]

It is pointing at her breasts.

[McDonald's]

And I didn't want to victim blame you, but. But it is kind of Your fault.

[Natalie Jean]

I. Oh, yeah. No. I mean, I put him out. And this is also.

[McDonald's]

Natalie, I don't. I'm sorry I looked at your breasts.

[Natalie Jean]

I am also wearing my sophisticated season one dress because Bryce is in a gauzy pale blue dress with a plunging neckline. And this is perfect.

[McDonald's]

Oh, yes, it is.

[Natalie Jean]

She thinks of how many times she's caught her mom looking at the scar with distrust and worry. Because. Yeah, of course.

[McDonald's]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Ember shifts her nagging towards Hunt, suggesting that maybe her and, you know, Hunt could come to Nidaro's and live with her and Randall, have a nice little life. Yeah. But Bryce quickly dismisses that in fair, because Hunt is still working for the 33rd. So how would that work? He'd have to do an insane commute every day. And also, sometimes families work best when there's a little bit of distance, a.

[McDonald's]

Little bit of space.

[Natalie Jean]

You know, it just makes it all much better. The time is precious when you're together.

[McDonald's]

Yeah. Yeah. Make the time precious. That's. That's what the space is for.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[McDonald's]

Make the time precious.

[Natalie Jean]

Yes. And speaking of her and Hunt.

[McDonald's]

Oh, God. Oh. What is Ember got to say?

[Natalie Jean]

She's got so much to say.

[McDonald's]

Oh, she's got so much to say.

[Natalie Jean]

She needles into Bryce asking her why things are weird between Bryce, herself, and Hunt. And an exasperated Bryce asks for clarification on what your mom's talking about. Like, what do you mean, weird?

[McDonald's]

Yeah. What do you mean? It's not like we both just underwent, like, huge traumatic experiences or something. And also none of your beeswax.

[Natalie Jean]

So Ember's response allows us, the reader, to get an idea of how it's going down between them as Bryce kind of goes through her thoughts. And it seems as though they are in a situationship, and Amber is not happy about it.

[McDonald's]

I mean, what mother is. They never like a situationship. They want more solidity than that.

[Natalie Jean]

They want. They want clear definitions. Bryce tells her again she needs to mind her P's and Q's and starts to tap on her phone, picks it up, starts texting Hunt, trying to ignore her mom. As her mom's there. Ember tries to direct the conversation back to the room. But thankfully, Randall steps in and convinces Ember to cooler jets. Bryce clearly does not want to talk about Hunt right now. And Ember is.

[McDonald's]

She's pushing it. Sometimes the mothers do. Oh, baby. But sometimes it. Only the mother in your life is gonna do something like that. Sure. You know, because no one else is hounding her for answers about what she's going through, because no one wants. Wants to force somebody to talk about their feelings except Mom. A mother or a parent.

[Natalie Jean]

Yes. Bryce tells her to please just let things go. Right now. She's doing fine. They're all fine. And she thinks to herself, she really isn't doing too bad, all things considered. And she hates to admit to herself, but she actually really enjoys her job at the Fay Archives. In her thoughts, she just describes her days as quiet and peaceful as she collects records and packages up different pieces of rare antiques in the face possession for different exhibits.

[McDonald's]

It does sound very peaceful.

[Natalie Jean]

It does. She doesn't have to seduce customers like she did at Griffins or try to make sales. She doesn't have to really interact with people at all, except for when she has to walk through the main library to get to the archives every day because of the aforementioned gawking. So she.

[McDonald's]

Yeah, it's just. It's hard because she can't hide who she is. Right There's. And even, like, with a wig or something like that, because the star is always gonna shine through and give it away at some point.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. It seems like she has unique looks, even for this world. So she probably, you know, people would know who she was.

[McDonald's]

You saying how hot and thick she is. Yeah. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

It's just. I think she's tall also. I believe.

[McDonald's]

Mamma mia.

[Natalie Jean]

So Ember concedes, and she says. And Bryce notices the worry on her mother's face at that moment and feels guilty. She then thanks her mom for letting her know that her childhood home is open to her and Hunt if they need it. Just then, Hunt sends her a flirty text and she loses her concentration.

[McDonald's]

Oh, did you just receive a flirty text?

[Natalie Jean]

No, I received my mind going, go to sleep. I said, I can't right now. I can't right now.

[McDonald's]

Be quiet.

[Natalie Jean]

I can't. Seemingly ready to move on, Ember playfully points out a pegasus statue that looks like Jelly Jubilee, which makes Bryce grin. She texts Hunt a picture of the pegasus and tells him to hurry up and get there because she is getting grilled. Ember tells Bryce to get off her phone and stop reading flirty texts from Hunt. Though irritated, Bryce thinks to herself that at least if everything else has changed in her life in the last six months, at least her mom is exactly the same.

[McDonald's]

Oh, Ember. Just love her.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, I would know. We love. We love an Ember. We cut to just a few minutes later as the Quinlans are getting into their fancy booth for viewing. I was just thinking about how I don't think I've ever sat in one of those before.

[McDonald's]

No. But I feel like didn't. I'm surprised. I feel like you've been to so many, like, ballets and things like that, for sure.

[Natalie Jean]

But I've never sat in one of those fancy boxes on the side.

[McDonald's]

Oh, well, now you have to.

[Natalie Jean]

I think a lot of theaters just have them decoratively now. But I know some theaters still use.

[McDonald's]

Them, I imagine, because probably, like, being able to make sure that they're safe enough and, like, since they, like, go out over the audience at times. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

It might be safety thing. It might have just gone out of fashion style.

[McDonald's]

Yeah. I've never said. What are they? Boxes.

[Natalie Jean]

Like, yeah, boxes.

[McDonald's]

Yeah. I want to be up in one of them. But I also have never been in, like, a sports box either, so.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, that's. I mean, that's not surprising for either of us.

[McDonald's]

No, I don't want to be there for the buffet.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[McDonald's]

But if there is a buffet, I'm there.

[Natalie Jean]

I don't think they have buffets in the theater ones, unfortunately.

[McDonald's]

Why? Why else would I be there for the show?

[Natalie Jean]

To just look important. I think it'd be cool to just sit there with not being crammed into a row.

[McDonald's]

Yes. That also would be nice. And I feel like.

[Natalie Jean]

Let me in your booth. Yeah, if you're out there, can I get in your booth?

[McDonald's]

Come on. We can just ladder up there.

[Natalie Jean]

We can be your Statler and Waldorf.

[McDonald's]

Oh, my God. Yeah. We'll talk through the entire thing, and we'll. Everybody. Guys. No. No. Complete guys. If you could just give us a guess. Pants. It's gonna be fine. Like, everybody's gonna love us.

[Natalie Jean]

Or we could be Pretty Woman. That's the other one.

[McDonald's]

Oh, okay. She's here.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, sure. That's fine.

[McDonald's]

But I guess, I mean, with this wig on, then they're gonna know where I'm putting those hamsters. Gerbils.

[Natalie Jean]

I think it was gerbils. Right?

[McDonald's]

It was gerbils. And you know what I was gonna say, Is there a difference? But I don't want to upset anybody.

[Natalie Jean]

That's the thing that will upset people.

[McDonald's]

I don't know. Maybe somebody's really, like, how dare you? You ever.

[Natalie Jean]

There's baseless rumors about him doing that. Not. Don't choose the wrong animal to talk about that gossip.

[McDonald's]

I think it might be illegal, though, to bring up Richard Gere and not bring up the gerbils. Oh, like, I think it actually. Like, I think I'm allergic to it.

[Natalie Jean]

You have To.

[McDonald's]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

How are you not going to think about it?

[McDonald's]

How. How are we not gonna like. It's like the game, you know, that you lose it when you think about it. And thinking about Richard Gere shoving gerbils up his ass is our generation's the game next to the game. I don't in addendum fully know if.

[Natalie Jean]

I followed that sentence, but I'm sure people out there have.

[McDonald's]

I think they. Did you not remember the game?

[Natalie Jean]

No.

[McDonald's]

Oh, wow. Everyone's always playing the game. Everyone just lost the game and. I'm sorry. You're always playing the game and every time you think about the game, you've lost the game. That's what the game is. And I don't know why. I feel like so many people were obsessed with it. What do you get each other with it?

[Natalie Jean]

Is it just a game people played amongst themselves?

[McDonald's]

Yep. It is just. It is just like it's referred. It is nebulously referred to as the game.

[Natalie Jean]

I've never heard of that.

[McDonald's]

Well, you've been playing it this whole time and you just lost.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm sorry, I just think of that as the Streisand effect.

[McDonald's]

Because her house went down into the ocean?

[Natalie Jean]

No, because it has something to do with a story that she was trying to get taken out because she reproduced the dogs of. No, it was. I forget what the story was. But she wanted people to not talk about it. And so because she wanted so badly to get it out of paper, she kept bringing it up. And then. That means you just talk about it.

[McDonald's]

Yeah, everybody talks about it. I feel like Katy Perry did that with the whole her trying to sue the nuns out of the convent so that she could buy them a lot.

[Natalie Jean]

Of really poor decisions.

[McDonald's]

I feel like that's one of those ones where it's like, girl, if you just leave it alone, I feel like people would stop knowing you're trying to make a bunch of nuns homeless. But you know, sometimes you want a convent because you want to turn it.

[Natalie Jean]

Into something technically killed one of them.

[McDonald's]

Oops. That's how it goes in Paris World.

[Natalie Jean]

So they're in their viewing booth and I like I want to. I'll be your pretty woman. Bryce's thrilled at seeing the drawn curtain before her, hardly containing her excitement for the ballet to begin. The downside is that most of the other boxes contain Fae royalty because they're for fancy people. Which Ember, of course, is not happy about because they're all getting glares.

[McDonald's]

Leave them more. Everybody else. I was there. Because if you are Going to be talking about the fair royalty. You may as well be talking about me. Oh yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

People who haven't read the book don't know what you're doing.

[McDonald's]

They don't know know what I'm doing. But for the people that have read the book, they know what I'm doing. And I. And I want to say I. Thank you for seeing me.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, you're right. The. Yeah. The Fae are not happy to see humans in a box because that's for fancy people and rich people.

[McDonald's]

How dare you look down upon Ember and Randall, you garbage people.

[Natalie Jean]

I agree. But Randall, always the more optimistic of the two, just remarks on how great the view is.

[McDonald's]

Suddenly, the air behind Bryce went electric, buzzing and alive. The hair on her arms prickled. A male voice sounded from the vestibule.

[Natalie Jean]

A benefit to having wings. No one wants to sit behind you.

[McDonald's]

Bryce had developed a keen awareness of Hunt's presence. Like scenting lightning on the wind. He had only to enter a room and she'd know if he was there by that surge of power in her body. Like her magic, her very blood answered tears.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm sure somebody's written it, but it sounds like you would like to read some Cormac Hunt fanfic. Oh.

[McDonald's]

I. You know, Natalie, you weren't looking at me, but I don't know if I've had light enter my eyes the way it just did. Ever. Not even on my wedding.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, don't tell.

[McDonald's]

Yeah, don't tell Jeff. But yeah, if somebody could get me some of that stacked, that'd be great.

[Natalie Jean]

Maybe Clippy will get in there.

[McDonald's]

Oh, all right. Well, now my brain just went too many places and I won't get into it.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, probably.

[McDonald's]

Write down the ideas.

[Natalie Jean]

Write them down. She turns to face Hunt and is struck dumb by the sight of him standing in the archway, decked out in a tux. Oh, if she had a cartoon. If she was a cartoon, her tongue would have rolled out like a red carpet. Hunt smirks at her poorly disguised lust, but just greets Randall. We learn that he has cut his hair shorter than it had been in House of Earth and Blood, but Bryce had stopped him from getting a full military style coif. I know, Hunt, you're technically a cop, but please don't do your hair dirty like that. The cop haircut is the worst.

[McDonald's]

Don't. And like, this is the thing, I know that it means that we need to go out and get a different wig to be Hunt. But I don't want to.

[Natalie Jean]

You don't got to.

[McDonald's]

I It's not even that I don't want to buy another wig. It's that in my head, he'll never have short hair.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. No, I agree. And she and Bryce also didn't want him to have short hair, so she made him keep some of the. The locks, you know, so, like, he can, like, do this.

[McDonald's]

If you're looking for locks, I think somebody over here's got a couple flippity locks over here.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, you got. They're wide.

[McDonald's]

Is the wig getting worse?

[Natalie Jean]

No. As the episode goes, I think it's actually settling in.

[McDonald's]

Is it?

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[McDonald's]

Okay. It's not. It's not. People would beg for this lift like this.

[Natalie Jean]

My hair would never do that.

[McDonald's]

No, I mean, my hair, although I will say did look like this as I was trying to grow it out, just dark brown. And I had a lot of this going on. And nobody wants this. Nobody.

[Natalie Jean]

It wasn't like that exactly.

[McDonald's]

No, it was cute. I don't know if you remember.

[Natalie Jean]

Of course I do.

[McDonald's]

In fact, a friend of ours who's growing out her hair was like, what did you do as your hair was growing out through all the. And I was like, I don't know what I. What did I do? And I went back through my photos to the years ago, and I was like, oh, I was just hammering.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[McDonald's]

So I looked horror. Like I didn't give a. That I looked horrible.

[Natalie Jean]

I was drunk for four years.

[McDonald's]

Exactly. I was drunk the entire time. Aha. Got it. So now I'm just forever scared of cutting my hair because I don't know if I And soberly go through the growing out process.

[Natalie Jean]

No. Well, but now also, you could afford probably a person who can cut your hair in between.

[McDonald's]

Yeah. And like, give it like a. Give it a shape or something.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[McDonald's]

Twenty dollar haircuts I used to get at this place called Maria's. That was just like a Polish woman that she didn't know what I was saying, but man, she did.

[Natalie Jean]

She would cut scissors. She would have scissors there.

[McDonald's]

$20. That's what I'm talking about.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, yeah. So she returns after ogling him up and down. She returns her eyeline to his and sees that he is also staring at her hungrily. And her heart thunders. All right, everyone, settle down. We're at the ballet.

[McDonald's]

Okay. Okay. All right. Okay.

[Natalie Jean]

Amber and Randall try to look busy as Bryce and Hunt exchange barely concealed flirting.

[McDonald's]

Oh, my God. That just makes me think of. Did you get to the part in Love on the spectrum when the two. When the couple that had just Met. And they're just making out with each other.

[Natalie Jean]

No.

[McDonald's]

In front of the. The parents and. But she's fully, you know, they're fully grown.

[Natalie Jean]

Yes.

[McDonald's]

And they're just being like, all right, well, okay, well, yes, they do. They do like each other. And I support it. It is just. And it's just watching the parents just try to support it and just stand in the kitchen with them and try.

[Natalie Jean]

To kind of like look off.

[McDonald's]

Exactly. Just looking anywhere. Like, like. Oh wow, a kitchen towel. Did you see?

[Natalie Jean]

How do you think they make these?

[McDonald's]

Yeah. Like us talking about the wigs up top.

[Natalie Jean]

Moments later, after they sort of have their greetings, a server appears with a bottle of champagne stating that it is a gift from Juniper.

[McDonald's]

Class. Okay. Class act.

[Natalie Jean]

Bryce is delighted and thinks about how she is now. You know, she's gone back to drinking, but much more sanely. She's not going back to partying. But she kind of like stopped her no drinking rule. That was self imposed.

[McDonald's]

Understandable. As long as you know you're checking in. That's all I'm saying.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. If you can. If you are able to do moderate drinking, you do like a. Like a little chompies.

[McDonald's]

Oh, yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Come on now.

[McDonald's]

I mean, if you're in a box at the ballet.

[Natalie Jean]

If you're in a ballet box, have a chambers. Have a champ. So she, before she can take the champagne flu being offered to her hunting, stops her hand and politely takes the glass away. She barks in protest as he pulls out a pill and plops it into the glass and watches it dissolve. He informs her he it's testing for poison in the champagne. And Ember expresses her approval.

[McDonald's]

I know I refer to smeeing people a lot because I do like the idea of having to always try something before someone else. That I'm specifically thinking of Bob Hoskins in Hook where he's trying all. And you know, the don't try to stop me speed. Yeah. That whole section. I really thought that that was a real job. I thought it was, I think back then.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[McDonald's]

But I'm saying now. And I'd like that job again.

[Natalie Jean]

You want a taste for poison?

[McDonald's]

I think I'd be really good at it.

[Natalie Jean]

But what if it's not even something that'll kill you? That'll just like rip your inside sometimes?

[McDonald's]

Natalie, I don't know if you heard this classic song. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And I think that that's only going to help me grow.

[Natalie Jean]

Okay.

[McDonald's]

And learn what's bad to put in your Body.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, if any of you out there are constantly getting threats of attack, poisons of poison.

[McDonald's]

Only because I'm not going to right. Save you from anything else. Bodyguard them, but I will taste every turkey leg you're about to put into your mouth. But also, Hunt. Doing this to her, I feel like would annoy me in real life, but also make me slip into next. Yeah, for sure, you know.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, yeah. He hands it back to her and cheers with his own glass of champagne. Brunt Runtle name takes their seat behind Bryce's parents as the warning lights flash in the theater. Because usually right before the show starts to go, like, dim up, dim up.

[McDonald's]

And say, get your ass in the suit.

[Natalie Jean]

Sit the four of them.

[McDonald's]

Then. Then this. The ballet screaming begins. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

And then they all just calmly say.

[McDonald's]

You have to get through the screaming.

[Natalie Jean]

You have to get through the screaming. The four of them sit there and make idle chatters. They await the start of the ballet. Ember asks about Fury and Juniper, and Bryce informs them and us, the readers, that the two of them have moved in together.

[McDonald's]

Good for them.

[Natalie Jean]

Ember questions her further, and we learn that Bryce and Fury had mostly talked out their problems from, you know, when they were in the. In the first book, Fury was being really evasive and not really talking with. With Bryce. And they've kind of worked through those problems, which was described a little bit at the end of the book, that Fury had a hard time because of how much she cared about them because she's an ancient being and she's like, I wasn't expecting to. She calls them, I think puppies, like to, like, fall in love with these friends and. And that it really.

[McDonald's]

Because they're just blips in her life.

[Natalie Jean]

And she didn't know what to do with that. But now they've sort of worked through that and gotten past it, and their friendship is in a much better place, though she is still doing her mercenary job that none of them really want to know anything about because it sounds scary.

[McDonald's]

How does Juniper do it? You know, how can you do that? How can you be with someone that has to live a life of covertness?

[Natalie Jean]

Well, because I imagine Fury's really good in this. Yeah, I think she's probably a little minx.

[McDonald's]

Oh, there's. After all. All those centuries. Yeah, all y' all.

[Natalie Jean]

So that's good, though, that Bryce and Fury have worked some of that out. And Bryce mentions that Fury is in the front row in the first. On the first floor. To be very close to Juniper. Ember, as an Ally Queen thinks it's great they're together and calls them a beautiful couple. Happy pride month, everybody.

[McDonald's]

Yes.

[Natalie Jean]

Which then leads her to needling back into Bryce.

[McDonald's]

Of course, Ember sized up Bryce and Hunt and said with no shame whatsoever.

[Natalie Jean]

You two would as well if you got your together.

[McDonald's]

Bryce slouched down in her seat, lifting her playbill to block her red hot face. Why weren't the lights dimming yet? But Hunt took it in stride and.

[Natalie Jean]

Said, all good things come to those who wait.

[McDonald's]

Ember. Can you imagine how Ember melts for Hunt? You know it.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, she loves him.

[McDonald's]

You know, she.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, it's especially because he is overprotective of Bryce to a point that makes Bryce crazy. But to the mother, she's like, yes, be hawkish over her.

[McDonald's]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Bryce's like, I don't need him to. And her mom's like, yes.

[McDonald's]

It's like, kind of nice, though. But also, it's like, I know I can take care of myself. But, like, what is, you did it?

[Natalie Jean]

Well, I think that's sort of the benefit of having a mom like that, where Bryce can assert her independence but knows that there's this other character in her life who will also continue to like, what's it called, the word left her continue to advocate for Hunt to be there to protect her so she doesn't have to be like, save me. But, like, somebody is making it. She's like, I guess I have to because he's my mom.

[McDonald's]

I mean, it is also the beauty of having a parent sometimes that can get something like a. You know, you're trying to get them, I feel like, to propose or something like that. When you have a good relationship with the parent and, like, can you, like, do something about that? And, you know, then that's what a parent is for, to just drop little needling, annoying things.

[Natalie Jean]

We love you, parents.

[McDonald's]

I mean, I do. I, I, I. Somebody's got to.

[Natalie Jean]

Hunt is amused by Ember's words, but Bryce is still mortified. She distracts herself from the embarrassment and also stops herself from the thirsty looks she's unable to stop giving Hunt by looking out over the audience, trying to spot familiar faces. She doesn't see Rune or Bad Daddy, but she spots Tristan, Flynn's family, minus Tristan. And we are introduced here to Flynn's sister, Sathia, whom Bryce doesn't seem to think favorably of, nor his parents. We've learned just the smallest amount about Flynn's family, but it seems to be they are important and snooty. Hunt leans in and Whispers in Bryce's ear. Not to do something to piss them off since it's June's big night. But he's being flirtatious. He's like, don't do anything. You're going to cause a scene in here. She's like, what are you. Time on doing it?

[McDonald's]

You better stop. Suck your dick.

[Natalie Jean]

That's. Is that the threat you just made?

[McDonald's]

Yeah. I mean, obviously he would have literally.

[Natalie Jean]

Ripped his pants off and been like. Like, flew them away.

[McDonald's]

I'm sorry. As you're just, like, apologizing because you're in front of your parents.

[Natalie Jean]

You're like, why am I doing that, man? He's horned up.

[McDonald's]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

She pulls back as he's whispering to her to look at him. And the two of them gaze at each other in a way. You know what I'm talking about? They're looking at each other like. Is that you flirting?

[McDonald's]

Yeah. I think that a good grip of the face really helps the knees part.

[Natalie Jean]

You mean gripping your own face?

[McDonald's]

Your face. Make your face tight.

[Natalie Jean]

Tight.

[McDonald's]

Because everyone's looking for tight. Sure. Make it tight.

[Natalie Jean]

Tight face. Opens the legs.

[McDonald's]

Opens the legs. See?

[Natalie Jean]

Okay. Just checking. So they gaze at each other and seem unable to look away.

[McDonald's]

Three fucking months of this torture. Stupid agreement. Friends, but more. More. But without any of the physical benefits. So what's the point? I know everybody loves the looly Dooley like Goggy staring in each other's eyes. For everyone loves it.

[Natalie Jean]

Never heard those words before.

[McDonald's]

Everybody knows Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Yeah, exactly. And I don't want to sleep with them either.

[Natalie Jean]

Good.

[McDonald's]

Which is good. Even though at this point I feel like they're probably so old as dead. Dead ducks. But why make life harder?

[Natalie Jean]

Well, okay, so let's get into why Bryce is saying she's doing this. But before that, the lights dim and Hunt whispers to Bryce in that last moment that she looks beautiful. She's flippant, but feels a certain type of way about it. She makes a flirty comment back. And Hunt has to adjust his pants. Oh, my God. Because of his erection.

[McDonald's]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Natalie.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. Just in case you couldn't tell.

[McDonald's]

I. I thought it's because he had his zip off shorts on underneath.

[Natalie Jean]

He has his gerbil inserted.

[McDonald's]

Yeah. And he has to make sure and clippies in there. It's just a whole. Honestly, it's busy in the box.

[Natalie Jean]

Wow. It's here. Where Bryce lays out the deal that she struck with him in her thoughts. They're waiting four more months.

[McDonald's]

Oh, good.

[Natalie Jean]

Ember asks what they're talking about behind them as they're whispering. And Bryce says nothing.

[McDonald's]

But it wasn't nothing. It was a stupid bargain she'd made with Hunt. That rather than diving right into bed, they'd wait until winter solstice to act on their desires. Spend the summer and autumn getting to know each other without the burdens of a psychotic archangel and demons on the prowl. So they had. Torturing each other with flirting was allowed. But sometimes, tonight especially, she really wished she'd never suggested it. Wished she could just drag him into the coat closet of the vestibule behind them and show him precisely how much she liked that suit.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, Bryce, you can you. It's in self imposed. You don't have to not.

[McDonald's]

But if you think about it, you know, I think about these hard, fast rules that we all make for ourselves. And some are better at sticking to them than others. But like, for instance, we have a full career that we've forged out of stone that you kind of have to always be doing and going and working in the same way. She's got to be. You know what I mean? I get it. I get wanting the space.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, for sure, I have to.

[McDonald's]

Say it over and over again. I get it. Because part of me really, throughout this of, like, you can just throw it in the trash, but sometimes the rules we create for ourselves are the hardest ones to throw in the trash.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, yeah, and there's always a fine line because you can become overly addicted to those rules and that can become unhealthy. But I can see how this might be something she would want to have for herself. And Bryce is happy in this moment as much as she's feeling tortured. Because, you know, he does things like he puts his arm around the back of her chair and puts. Puts his fingers in the back and through her hair. And there's an intimacy in that that's really different. A different kind of intimacy. Especially when you and this person you're sort of with kind of claim each other publicly. It's like these subtle things. I guess that's the romantic part of it, is that it is an intimacy that's different than just like getting it on.

[McDonald's]

Right.

[Natalie Jean]

Bryce agrees.

[McDonald's]

Like, Natalie and I butterfly kiss all the time. And I feel like there's no one outside. I. I'd like to butterfly kiss with Natalie. Come on, Natalie.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, no, no.

[McDonald's]

Come on, Natalie.

[Natalie Jean]

I think Henry would drive off a cliff if that happened.

[McDonald's]

I think. Yeah, I think it would be difficult because he wouldn't leave you, but he would never speak to me ever again. And that would make. Oh, this job would be difficult.

[Natalie Jean]

So she feels this idea of this, like, intimacy in this romance and notes that her mom and Randall are also seated similarly. And she remembers that kind of why. Maybe one of the reasons she's doing this is that her mom and Randall also waited to act on their feelings. And she's thinking, well, they turned out well. So let. Maybe she's going to try a different tactic than she has with guys in the past. Which is not to say she's shaming sexual behavior, but she's like, maybe I should try this other way since I'm. I'm all in my. Like, I'm all over the place. We just went through all this horrible stuff and I feel these feelings for him and I want to know him better because that's the thing.

[McDonald's]

And I do get that. I do understand. I know I talked about in theory.

[Natalie Jean]

Wish I could relate in real life never happened, but.

[McDonald's]

And mine only happened the ones. And it happens to be with the person I married to. So I feel like for me, 100 of the time, it worked.

[Natalie Jean]

That waiting.

[McDonald's]

Yeah. And I mean not for marriage, because.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, let's get real here.

[McDonald's]

I don't think so.

[Natalie Jean]

If you're not trying it out beforehand when you get married and, like, you're like, oh, we don't work. This doesn't work.

[McDonald's]

I gotta take it for a spin.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, exactly. Round the block.

[McDonald's]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Which is very awkward.

[McDonald's]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

So she reflects on how she has really actually enjoyed these months of simply getting to know one another and do boring but amazing activities like spending the evening binging shows or sitting on the roof together just talking. Almost as though she's preparing for some sort of long game or something. Like, interesting. But the lack of physical contact is also driving them both crazy, which is.

[McDonald's]

Also a fun game. I will throw it out there too. The edging is fun. Oh, I mean, to an extent. To an extent. But it is fun. Sure.

[Natalie Jean]

I think it's one of the big differences with. Between, like, porn and erotica, as erotica has more of a winding story to the sex, whereas porn's just like. That's slapping.

[McDonald's]

That's a ball slapping. Ball slapping. Oh, yeah. No, it's more, you know, more layers, more complexities. And I prefer it.

[Natalie Jean]

Me too. So she's thinking about having these, like, amazing moments with Hunt that aren't necessarily sexual, but just, like, really tender and, like, intimate. And suddenly her scar lights up.

[McDonald's]

Up.

[Natalie Jean]

Gasping with embarrassment, she slaps her hand over it and grumbles about not being able to really control when it happens, or at least hasn't figured it out yet. Everyone immediately obviously notices because it's like a big spotlight being shot out of the audience. She frantically tries to make her hand cover it, but to no avail. The mean fay across the way are sneering at her since the lights had all just gone down.

[McDonald's]

So she God.

[Natalie Jean]

Making a scene.

[McDonald's]

Oh, I'm sorry I'm so special. I have a light beam of power coming from my body and she's embarrassed.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh. She begins to get up to leave.

[McDonald's]

The box, but Hunt slid a warm, dry hand over her scar, fingers grazing her breasts. His palm was broad enough that it covered the mark, capturing the light within. It glowed through his fingers, casting his light brown skin into rosy gold. But he managed to contain the light.

[Natalie Jean]

Admit it. You just wanted me to fill you up.

[McDonald's]

Hunt whispered, and Bryce couldn't help her stupid giddy laugh. Oh, God. Oh, no. Never mind. He just pulls the hand back. He's like, you know what? This whole thing. And he just ends it there. Book is over. Wow. I I it's just. I don't know what that was.

[Natalie Jean]

My, that's me being adorable.

[McDonald's]

Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry I laughed at. I I meant to go. Oh. Oh, wow. A beauty in her own right.

[Natalie Jean]

Yep. Ember and Randall look concerned.

[McDonald's]

They would if for their daughters started.

[Natalie Jean]

Laughing like that and ask if they.

[McDonald's]

Should go to a doctor, leave.

[Natalie Jean]

They can hear the fay royals around them, snipping, their irritation and disgust palpable. But both Bryce and Hunt say they're all good. And Hunt flashes and umber mortis, his grin at the snobs around them, imploring them to try something. Give me a reason.

[McDonald's]

I bet.

[Natalie Jean]

The conductor appears before the orchestra, drawing attention back away from them. Finally, Bryce tries to manage her breathing, hoping it will somehow calm the light down. Hunt makes her laugh by suggesting his hand over her chest. And the inevitable tabloid articles about the umber mortise hooking up with a princess.

[McDonald's]

At the ballet front of her parents.

[Natalie Jean]

We'll give him street cred at the ox. And the light, as she laughs, begins to recede. Seems like maybe heightened feelings might bring the light out.

[McDonald's]

Okay.

[Natalie Jean]

Hunt becomes unreadable as he slowly removes his hand from her now dark chest. And she wonders what it means.

[McDonald's]

But the orchestra began its lilting opening and the curtain drew back, and Bryce leaned forward breathlessly to await her friend's grand entrance.

[Natalie Jean]

And we're gonna stop there because we were needed to pick back up our.

[McDonald's]

Are you scared of my entrance? I scared of my. Natalie. Don't be scared. There's someone coming around the bend and I think you might be juicy for him.

[Natalie Jean]

I've never placed him with a pirate sound place before, but I guess that works. I mean, he lives on an island.

[McDonald's]

Free your mind and your ass will follow.

[Natalie Jean]

So can you wait to learn about what this character is? It's not a boy who wins a.

[McDonald's]

A chocolate factory? Nope. No, no, no.

[Natalie Jean]

Or is it. Maybe there's one in this world.

[McDonald's]

I don't know. Are we going to get chopped up by the fans? Oh, no, we don't.

[Natalie Jean]

I don't want to get sucked up for.

[McDonald's]

Please read up until chapter four for next week.

[Ameca Insurance]

Hey, I'm Paul Scheer.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm June Diane Rayfield.

[Ameca Insurance]

And I'm Jason Mantzoukas. And we're the hosts of how did this Get Made? A comedy podcast where we deconstruct, make fun of and celebrate the best worst movies ever made. Have you ever seen a movie that's so bad that it's actually good? That's what we're talking about. From blockbuster franchises and made for TV romances to bonkers 80s action flicks and obscure sci fi musicals, we cover it all. You can find. How did this get made? Wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode. Idiot.

[Natalie Jean]

That'll be 5287.

[McDonald's]

Oh, no. Do I have enough in my bank.

[Ameca Insurance]

Account to cover that?

[McDonald's]

Oh, please, have enough. Okay, here we go.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

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