LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City

Episode 30: Lil' Botomies
Release Date: December 30, 2025
Hosts: Natalie Jean & Jackie Zebrowski

Episode Overview

This episode dives into chapters 59 and 60 of Sarah J. Maas's Crescent City: House of Sky and Breath (HOSAB). With their signature irreverence and genuine affection for SJM characters, Natalie and Jackie break down the emotionally charged Autumn Equinox Ball, dissect the complex relationships and machinations at play, and riff on everything from fictional ass gazing to the politics of fae mating. Expect plenty of off-the-wall banter, character impressions, and honest reflections about trauma, consent, and the messy realities of love—both in fantasy and IRL.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Autumn Equinox Ball Fallout

[03:35–13:00]

• The episode sets the stage at the Equinox Ball, with Bryce's public mating announcement causing waves among the Crescent City power brokers, including the Asteri and the Autumn King.
• Natalie and Jackie jokingly debate what it's like being background players at such a politically charged event, spinning up scenes as gossipy observers, “Hate them! As if I’d ever be jealous of them.” – Jackie [03:11]
• The hosts discuss the power move by Bryce in asserting her relationship with Hunt:
  "She's thinking seven steps ahead... I'm a Bryce apologist." – Jackie [09:43]
• The tension with the Asteri arriving over hologram, and the pressure everyone feels as they await their judgment, is highlighted: “As the screen rises back up, the entire room unclenches their buttholes.” – Jackie [21:49]

2. Gender Politics & Consent in the SJM Universe

[05:10–14:00, 20:00–22:40]

• The hosts unpack Celestina’s complicated romantic life, noting the blurry lines between agency and coercion due to her forced partnership with Ephraim.
• They joke about "love kisses versus forced kisses" [13:45], but pivot to acknowledge, “You can only consent so much if you have an overlord pairing you off…” – Natalie [05:43]
• The conversation veers into a mixture of humor and serious notes about property, mating, and misogyny in Midgard: "One upside to the misogyny ... is that Bryce is technically Hunt’s property now. Phew!" – Jackie [20:17]

3. Scene Recaps, Character POVs, and Notable Interactions

Asteri’s Reaction

[12:40–14:30, 17:38–21:49]

• The Asteri’s knowledge and surveillance powers are debated. The hosts joke about government surveillance:
  "I guess government surveillance is a problem everywhere..." – Jackie [18:37]
• The Autumn King’s attempt to save face and his open hostility toward Bryce are lampooned, drawing affinities to real-life “old men calling young women piggies” [22:12].

Bryce/Hunt Relationship Moments

[23:00–26:28, 39:36–44:03]

• The glow of being able to be public with their romance is celebrated—and lampooned with references to social media relationship reveals.
• But humor turns to heat as Natalie and Jackie describe Hunt and Bryce’s desperate escape to a closet for some private time:
  “The power of wanting to get laid... it’s like when a mother is saving their child. I’ll rip the car off of you and just jump on that dick.” – Jackie [39:36]

Celestina & Hypaxia’s Secret

[40:08–44:03]

• Delivered with bemused delight, the big reveal that Celestina and Hypaxia are lovers.
• The hosts riff on the tension and necessity for secrecy:
  “If the Asteri discover their relationship, Ephraim would be forced to kill Hypaxia... that’d be a war starter.” – Jackie [42:44]
• Bryce promises to stand by them if they ever come out, paralleling her own boldness:
  “She would stand with them if they ever decided to take their love public.” – Jackie [44:31]

Rune & Hypaxia, and Party Gossip

[26:56–32:32]

• Rune’s POV is peppered with anxiety as he tunes out “awful things people are whispering about Bryce and Hunt.”
• Jackie and Natalie act out the judgmental background chatter, “Did you see after she had sex with other people, then she had sex with him?” [27:21]
• The “cotillion of fuck” and Sizzler buffet metaphors draw parallels between fae society’s matchmaking and human awkwardness at big functions.

The (Non-) Meeting with Day and the Harpy

[35:14–38:01]

• Rune anxiously awaits Day but is interrupted by the Harpy, leading to humorous disgust and relief when he realizes Day has not appeared.
• The hosts playfully reference the fear of the “Harpy kiss moment,” comparing it to “love at first sight... but you only pretend you want to kiss the other person,” [36:36] complete with sound effects.

Tharion & The River Queen’s Daughter

[53:43–59:48]

• Tharion suffers through a miserable date, reflecting on how he's “gloomy Gus” while the River Queen’s Daughter remains naive and hopeful.
• He pawns her off on a bodyguard for a dance and beelines for attention from a “sexy leopard shifter,” prepping to publicly tank his unwanted relationship.
• The hosts dissect this cowardly breakup tactic:
  “This is how people act in the real world when they don’t want to be with someone—they just hurt their feelings.” – Jackie [58:33]

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “She only became princess because she’s related to the king.” – Natalie [07:28], as background ball gossip.
• “If they already know this happens, how much do they know?” – Jackie [19:42], on the Asteri’s omniscience.
• “It’s good to be owned by a better male.” – Jackie [20:43], satirizing the gender dynamics.
• “Her breasts are made out of love, right?” – Jackie [40:37], during the closet scene.
• “Love is a trap, Hunt. One I can’t figure out how to free myself from.” – Celestina (read by Natalie) [50:09 & 51:04]
• “I wanted it like a faucet to be shut off.” – Jackie [51:05], reflecting on queer love and repression.
• “I don’t want anyone to feel trapped in me. Ever. In any capacity.” – Jackie [53:24], continuing the theme of agency in love.
• “He heads to the bar ... looking for the hottest female close by. Here goes nothing.” – Jackie [59:48], on Tharion's messy rebound.

Noteworthy Segment Timestamps

• Ball gossip & opening banter: [02:51–05:54]
• Asteri make their screen appearance: [12:38–14:30]
• Celestina, consent, and "forced kisses": [05:12–14:00]
• Asteri judgment & Autumn King's rage: [17:38–22:28]
• Public romance, butts, and glowing with love: [23:00–26:28]
• Rune’s POV: Gossip and party politics: [26:56–32:32]
• Rune’s failed rendezvous, Harpy encounter: [35:14–38:01]
• Bryce, Hunt, Celestina, Hypaxia: Closet drama: [39:36–44:03]
• Celestina’s heartbreak, Hunt’s loyalty: [50:05–53:00]
• Tharion & River Queen’s Daughter breakup arc: [53:43–59:48]

Tone and Style

• The hosts combine snappy, raunchy humor with genuine empathy for character struggles—punctuating plot analysis with sarcasm, running jokes, and earnest discussion about trauma, consent, loyalty, and love.
• Conversations frequently blur the lines between the Crescent City world and real-life relationship dynamics.
• Character impressions, off-the-wall metaphors (“the Sizzler of women”), and asides (“Can you hear me? You found him. Get your broom?”) keep things lively and unpredictable.

Conclusion

This episode blends deep Crescent City lore with snark, compassion, and gonzo humor, breathing fresh air into SJM discourse. By the end, listeners are left with renewed sympathy for Celestina and Hypaxia, plenty of laughs about fae relationship drama, and a healthy dread of the next chapters’ looming fallout.
Next up: Read through Chapter 63 for the following deep dive.