LPN Deep Dives: HOSAB / Episode 31: Mentally Trill

Summary

LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City

Episode 31: Mentally Trill
Release Date: January 6, 2026
Hosts: Natalie Jean & Jackie Zebrowski

---

Episode Overview

This episode of LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City continues the team’s in-depth and irreverent examination of Sarah J. Maas’s Crescent City: House of Sky and Breath (HOSAB). Natalie Jean and Jackie Zebrowski, with their signature wit and playful banter, tackle a stretch of pivotal chapters full of magical missteps, messy relationships, and increasingly high stakes as several storylines interweave during and after the Equinox Ball. Special attention is paid to character dynamics, plot revelations, and the ever-building tension in Sarah J. Maas’s rich fantasy world, complete with the hosts’ trademark tangents and comedic asides.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Banter & Costume Chaos (02:36–12:04)

• The hosts kick off with lighthearted banter about their costumes: Natalie’s “dog mouth” mustache and James’ (guest) shrimp bucket hat and visible “men’s nipples.” This opening creates a goofy, irreverent vibe.
• They riff on karaoke mishaps, Italian stereotypes, American peanut butter culture, and the invention of a TikTok trend: “shrimp on your head.”
• Memorable Quote:
  • James: “Manifesting live. Live shrimp.” (11:33)

Tone: Playful and absurdist, setting the conversational and deeply unserious style of the show.

---

2. Tharion’s Relationship Blunder (12:04–14:00)

• Plot Recap: Tharion’s disastrous way of breaking off a relationship by publicly humiliating his partner at the Ball is criticized.
• Natalie and James analyze his motives, agreeing it’s more “boy behavior” than bravery, and that he’s essentially giving his would-be ex a reason to villainize and, hopefully, move on.
• Quote:
  • James: “You made your fucking bed, now you gotta fuck in it.” (12:19)
• Host Reaction: Significant “ick” and frustration spread with humor and empathy for both characters.

---

3. Ithan and Hypaxia’s Dangerous Summoning (14:00–17:10)

• Plot Point: Hypaxia attempts risky dark magic to summon Ithan’s brother, Connor, at Ethan’s request.
• The ritual is ritualistically described—star drawn, candles placed—in tones blending Wiccan and Satanist aesthetics.
• Insight: Hypaxia’s own energy cost and the foolishness of Ethan’s plan is debated.
• Host Commentary:
  • James: “Fucking write it down, you idiot.” (15:35)
  • Natalie: “What if we just kill Ethan and then he gets to go—get rid of him!” (15:54)

---

4. Ruhn and Day’s Brain Bridge Rendezvous (17:29–27:21)

• Plot Recap: After the ball, Ruhn dreams himself onto the “brain bridge” to meet mysterious “Day.” Their chemistry and mutual curiosity peak as Day reveals she knows much more about Ruhn than he knows about her, leading to mounting sexual tension and a powerful kiss.
• Discussion: Hosts delight in the heightened romance tropes, debating gender dynamics and vulnerability, and poke fun at the prose (“her mouth opened for him”—James: “That’s a personal yuck” (23:43)).
• Interwoven references to sitcom tropes (Stefan Urkel, Family Matters) and the enduring power of cheesy theme songs.
• Quote:
  • Jackie (reading): “The mouth beneath the fire was soft and warm and opened for him. Ugh.” (23:37)

---

5. Hunt and Bryce’s Drunken Return & Intimacy (27:33–35:23)

• Scene: Hunt and Bryce stumble home from a dive bar after the Ball, “plastered” and in fancy dress, leading to a foot massage and playful banter about public displays of affection, marriage, and wedding rings.
• The hosts take detours into queer hockey erotica (Heated Rivalry), hockey player representation, and erotic scenes.
• Quote:
  • Jackie: “You like being a prince?” (32:21)
  • Natalie (reflecting): “The important parts of my brain are filled with theme songs, unfortunately…” (25:59)
• Eventually, their own banter mirrors Bryce and Hunt’s—playful, slightly raunchy, but with real warmth.

---

6. Sex Scene & Teleportation Mishap (35:23–36:17)

• Plot: After their passionate encounter, Bryce and Hunt realize they’ve accidentally teleported (or “telepult”—a term the hosts gleefully mock) onto their apartment rooftop mid-sex.
• Natalie and James roll with the absurdity:
  • James: “You just got teleport! JSM really missed out on calling this teleporting.” (35:42)
• Host Reaction: They skewer “telepult” as the “worst word for sex,” imagining alternate/funnier terminology.

---

7. Hypaxia’s Summoning: The Under King Appears (36:17–40:06)

• Scene: Back to Ithan and Hypaxia—her ritual instead brings the Under King, not Connor.
• The Under King’s chilling presence is described, and hosts critique Ethan’s self-absorption and Hypaxia’s patience.
• Natalie: “[Ethan] needs the therapist that says, you gotta work through this, babe.” (37:51)
• Expanding on their disdain, the hosts comedically fantasize about “shooting the Under King” with a gun (impractical, but very on-brand for Ethan’s impulsiveness).

---

8. Apollyon Visits Bryce: Lore Dump and War Warnings (41:06–54:38)

• Dream Sequence: Bryce dreams of a desert encounter with Apollyon, the Prince of the Pit—showing up as a “golden-haired Adonis” with “his nipples out” and a bucket hat, per James’ inside joke/cosplay. Hosts have fun personifying Apollyon as an Instagram influencer/surfer bro.
• Major Lore Revelations:
  • The “original Starborn Queen,” Theia, was allied with the princes of Hel (including Aidas and Apollyon) against the Asteri.
  • Theia and Aidas were lovers; war, betrayal, and death followed, with Apollyon killing the Asteri Sirius in the aftermath.
  • Bryce learns the line between friend and foe is blurry; history has been suppressed.
• Quote:
  • Natalie (explaining Theia and Aidas): “She and Aidas from Hell became lovers… If I’m a queen, then I’m like, I’m gonna bang the prince. That’s really—it’s cool.” (46:42/47:03)
• Key Warning: Apollyon tells Bryce that “Hell is nearly ready to finish this war” and that the Equinox is a crucial night.
• Key Line:
  • Apollyon: “Orion was bred to be receptive to our kind. Why do you think he is so adept at hunting us?” (52:56)
• Speculation over Hunt’s mysterious breeding and what power the Horn in Bryce’s back will unlock.

---

9. Return to Ethan & Hypaxia: Underking’s Wards and Hunting Hounds (56:05–END)

• Immediate Danger: Under King traps Ethan and Hypaxia in the olive grove, wards blocking escape.
• Cliffhanger: As they discuss Hypaxia’s connection to the House of Flame and Shadow, hunting hounds (magical hell-hounds) appear, alluded to with a callback to Italians (“the olive trees are Italian, too!”).
• Playful impersonation of the hounds using Italian accents for comic relief.

---

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On Manifesting TikTok Trends:
  • James: “Manifesting live. Live shrimp.” (11:33)
• On Tharion’s Breakup Method:
  • James: “You made your fucking bed, now you gotta fuck in it.” (12:19)
• On Romance Tropes:
  • Jackie (reading): “The mouth beneath the fire was soft and warm and opened for him. Ugh.” (23:37)
• On Sex and Teleportation:
  • James: “You just got teleport! JSM really missed out on calling this teleporting.” (35:42)
• On Apollyon’s Big Reveal:
  • Natalie: “She and Aidas from Hell became lovers… If I’m a queen, then I’m like, I’m gonna bang the prince. That’s really—it’s cool.” (46:42/47:03)
• On Surfer Apollyon’s Threat:
  • Apollyon: “Orion was bred to be receptive to our kind. Why do you think he is so adept at hunting us?” (52:56)
• On Cliffhanger Dangers:
  • Jackie (as hound): “The hunting hounds of the House of Flame and Shadow.” (57:10)

---

Important Timestamps

• 02:36 — Main intro, hosts’ banter and costume descriptions begin
• 12:04 — Tharion’s Ball drama and breakup “ick”
• 14:00 — Hypaxia’s dangerous ritual for Ethan
• 17:29 — Ruhn & Day’s dream/brain bridge rendezvous
• 27:33 — Hunt and Bryce’s drunken post-ball intimacy
• 35:23–36:17 — Sex, teleportation mishap, hosts’ jokes
• 36:17 — Summoning scene with the Under King
• 41:06 — Bryce’s desert-dream with Apollyon, major lore dump
• 52:56 — Apollyon’s reveal about Hunt’s purpose/breeding
• 56:05–END — Hunting hounds attack Hypaxia and Ethan

---

Episode Tone & Style

The hosts blend genuine enthusiasm for the Crescent City series with their signature blend of irreverence, humor, pop culture tangents, and warm camaraderie. They balance fan insight and lore speculation with sharp comedic observations—even at the expense of the characters and, sometimes, the source material’s purple prose. This makes the episode enjoyable and accessible for both hardcore fans and newcomers trying to keep up with Maas’s sprawling plots.

---

Next Assignment

Read up to Chapter 65 for the next episode.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

Edible arranges effortless joy all year with same day and next day delivery or local pickup. Edible makes gifting simple fresh arrangements, dessert forwards and baked treats for birthdays. Thank yous or just because. [e-mail] or your local store.

[Coupon User / Geico Advertiser]

We've all been there. You hold on to a coupon hoping to cash it in at the store. But then you forget about it and suddenly you've got a mountain of useless expired coupons.

[Coupon Holder]

Do you think this one's still good? Free milk?

[Coupon User / Geico Advertiser]

Oh, mate, that expired in 1993.

[James]

Dang it.

[Coupon User / Geico Advertiser]

Fortunately, there are better ways to save money. Like by switching to Geico. You could save about $900 on car insurance without ever touching a coupon.

[Coupon Holder]

Ooh, how about this one? Half off floppy disks.

[Coupon User / Geico Advertiser]

Now you should try a bit of spring cleaning.

[Coupon Holder]

It feels good to save big.

[James]

It feels good to Geico. We're excited to announce that we're going to Prythian and Vaalbara and Bazga.

[Natalie Jean]

If you're nasty and you can too.

[James]

Join us in spring of 2026 at the Dreamers Readers Festival. A three day event chock full of choose your own adventures.

[Natalie Jean]

Multiple Fae balls, fashion shows, photo shoots, Hoteez, Everybody. At least 15 different events at the otherworldly Gaylord Texan resort that you can customize to make the perfect trip fit your Fantasy Dreams.

[James]

Visit fantastiquecollection.com and use our code Faybayes at checkout to receive $10 off of any of these events.

[Natalie Jean]

Dreamers and Readers Night 1 and 2.

[James]

Mythical Creatures Masquerade, Fantastic Starfo Ball and the Farewell Fae Bash.

[Natalie Jean]

Not only that, but if you use our code Faybay's at checkout for those events, you will receive an exclusive swag bag from the weekend.

[James]

I'll do anything for a swag bag, Natalie.

[Natalie Jean]

Catch me.

[James]

Yes, that's right. Use our code Faybayes F A E B A e [e-mail] to get your $10 off of any of these events.

[Natalie Jean]

Dreamers and readers. Baby, I cannot wait for this. Gimme, gimme that swag.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Welcome to Crescent City with your hosts, Natalie Jean and Jackie Zabrowski.

[Natalie Jean]

I feel like for some reason I have an Italian accent with this. This costume.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Why?

[Natalie Jean]

I don't know.

[James]

Okay. You just feel like you're feeling fettuccine right now.

[Natalie Jean]

I think it's the tiny. I tried to make it look like a dog mouth, but it looks like I have a very pencil thin mustache. Yes.

[James]

Yeah, it does. And I think if you had it there, I think everyone would Question your sanity, because I don't know if hair does just grow just on the hat of the lip, which is what I'm going to refer to that as.

[Natalie Jean]

I meant it to be a lot like a. It's supposed to be a line of a dog's mouth.

[James]

You're trying to tell me you got bitch mouth?

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[James]

Because I agree.

[Natalie Jean]

Thank you.

[James]

I think you look really good, and I. I'm curious as to where the Italian character is gonna go, but maybe it's gonna make the trains run on time. That's a Mussolini joke for you.

[Natalie Jean]

Wow. That is a Mussolini joke.

[James]

In case you were wondering if you were gonna get a solid Mussolini joke in your life today, the answer is yes.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm there mostly for the pizza.

[James]

A bun gior. No prego. Oh, I think you're gonna have to pick up my karaoke song, which, you know, it hits hard every time when people are like, what do you do for karaoke? How do you. How do you maintain, you know? And what I sing is when the moon hits your eye like a big beat up by at some. And you think it's not gonna slap, and it slaps every fucking time.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, I. I don't question that at all.

[James]

You've seen me drunkenly do it many times.

[Natalie Jean]

Sure I have.

[James]

And it's almost like it's for the first time every time, isn't it?

[Natalie Jean]

Natalie, Every time I hear that song, it's like the first time I've ever heard it.

[James]

Yeah, it's like the first time you orgasmed.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. In the shower.

[James]

And when the moon is hitting your eye like a big pizza pie and you're like a Mona. No, it's great, though, because you know what? Honestly, it doesn't repeat too many times. There are some karaoke sand pits out there that you gotta really watch out for because you think, oh, this is gonna be great. And then you find you're just going, who let the dogs out? Who let the dogs out? And you say it for the 47th time.

[Natalie Jean]

Sometimes there's, like, too many choruses.

[James]

Yes.

[Natalie Jean]

Sometimes there's big, long gaps in the middle where you're just, like, pumping your feet.

[James]

Yeah. And if you can keep the energy up, you do you. I mean, if you go for it.

[Natalie Jean]

If you want to add a dance break in, I'm definitely here for that.

[James]

Obviously she is. Look at this.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm a dancer.

[James]

Oh, a peanut butter. That's not Italian. That's an Italian thing. I couldn't think of enough. I am half Italian and I couldn't think of another Italian thing.

[Natalie Jean]

Mozzarella.

[James]

Sure. Yeah. Thank you. And like how my mother says, which is just that. Oh, that Queen's Italian, beautiful accent.

[Natalie Jean]

I don't know if they have peanut butter or not. Do they like it there? Because, you know Americans, I seem, like, exclusively into peanut butter.

[James]

Yeah. We love our fat paste.

[Natalie Jean]

Brits guessed by peanut butter.

[James]

Yeah. I think that everybody thinks it's, like, full of sugar. And it's like, oh, we put sugar in everything here. And we do.

[Natalie Jean]

But the taste of peanut butter is still good.

[James]

Yeah, man. It's a problem. I'm just like, you gotta get the. You gotta get the natural. You gotta get the naturals. Like, if I want to eat a nut, I'm gonna eat a nut. Okay. I want my fat paste, put all the hydrogenated sunflower in it. And I think it tastes better that way.

[Natalie Jean]

Sunflower oil and the peanut butter, what.

[James]

Are we thinking of next?

[Natalie Jean]

The peanut butter makes their own oil. Yeah.

[James]

I don't need fucking flowers in it. Nuts. I need your flowers, bitch. Go die in a field talking dandelions out there.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, you just threw shots of dandelions for no reason.

[James]

Come at me. Oh, what? I'mma blow your fucking seed everywhere. And not in a fun way. I guess that is their impetus, though. So I guess for dandelions, if you're pro dandelion, you don't want to blow their seed everywhere because you don't want to propagate them.

[Natalie Jean]

You mean you're anti dandelion?

[James]

I'm. That's what I'm saying. If you're pro, you wouldn't. No, you would.

[Natalie Jean]

Yes.

[James]

Oh, my God. I don't even know what stance I have on dandelions anymore. I'm going. Do you know who I am?

[Natalie Jean]

I don't, but it looks like your hat has pepperonis on it. But I don't think they're pepperonis.

[James]

Oh, I wish. Nipples. No. It's a shrimp hat. Yeah, It's a shrimp bucket hat.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[James]

This is a shrimp. I got a shrimp. I got a scrap hat on. I got my nipples on blast.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, I will.

[James]

Nipples on blast. Nipples on blast.

[Natalie Jean]

Don't tell me. Nipple blasts.

[James]

Not my nipples. It's fine. Not my nipples. They're men's nipples.

[Natalie Jean]

Don't worry. They're men's nipples, so everyone's fine.

[James]

Oh, God. Milk's coming out.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, no. So men can lactate.

[James]

You're right. Remember meet the parents.

[Natalie Jean]

Remember that?

[James]

Everybody was like, I got nipples. Remember that joke? Ah, Robert De Niro.

[Natalie Jean]

He's funny. I'm sure he didn't beat any women up or anything, right? I think he did. They all did.

[James]

I don't know. We heard in Elvira's memoir, her talking about having a great night with Bobby.

[Natalie Jean]

Good.

[James]

And Bobby saved her from being sa. And he came up. He didn't know her, and he's like, hey, is there a problem? Like, did one of those. And she. She went with him and he did. He, like, got her home, and she was like, do you want to come in? And he's like, no, but thank you, though. Like, appreciate it. But then they ended up having, like, one wonderful, wild night that she just like later on and was just like, he's really good people. So maybe. I mean, he did. He has recently knocked up someone consensually who is a lot younger than he is. So he is a father again at 81. What are those sperms like him and Pacino. Do you think the spermies are in a race to the death?

[Natalie Jean]

They're just trying to get their last shot before the end. They're like, get one.

[James]

Chill.

[Natalie Jean]

Let me in, champ. Let me in, coach.

[James]

Yeah, man. And he's. They're saying that to the. The young pussies. Yeah. He's not talking to her in the eyes. He's only talking. Let me in there.

[Natalie Jean]

Those sperms are like. Those sperms are like, I can get in there.

[James]

Yeah, they're making out of dust shot.

[Natalie Jean]

Here I go, Bo.

[James]

Oh, you better slow. Oh, oh. Oh. It's just. Oh, he's just. Yeah. Do you need help? Oh, you're just. Oh, he needed a break.

[Natalie Jean]

He needed a break.

[James]

Yeah, Just right outside of the lip and just be like, oh, yeah. It's a little too much. The journey.

[Natalie Jean]

Just. He can do it. Just give him a chance.

[James]

Give him some time. But do they have nipples like these? I love. This is the same shirt that Andy Richter wore on Dancing with the Stars. It made me excited because at one point he rips off his shirt and he pretends like he has a six pack. And it is this same shirt. And it felt like our nipples were under the same sky, like in Fievel Goes West.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, that's nice.

[James]

Some nip out there where I can show my nips, but I can't show them because I have pussy lips.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, that was beautiful.

[James]

Thank you. I really felt that.

[Natalie Jean]

I did, too. I'm gonna figure out who you are, so don't tell me, okay?

[James]

I wasn't planning on it. Who are you? Juniper. The wings. The wings. You're not Juniper. I see. I see. It's just the hair. It's really fur. Oh, is that what. I guess my problem. I'm not gonna say my problem with your wig is that problem do you have with it? It's just. It's. I think. I think. Are you a Karen shifter right now? Are you about to. Because this hair is given. I ain't been stupped in a foreign young.

[Natalie Jean]

I don't even remember what this was from, but it was one of those. I think it's. You're trying to make a guy's wig and it just comes like. It doesn't look like a guy's wig.

[James]

It's really difficult for them to make guys wigs cheaply.

[Natalie Jean]

It really is.

[James]

They really can't do it. I mean, this is a guy's wig. That looks cute.

[Natalie Jean]

It looks like you. You look like a zoomer.

[James]

It's kind of. I mean, broccoli. Don't I look, I'm doing an R bats right now. I'm a zoomer. I'm not old, I'm young.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm not gross.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But I got shrimp on my head.

[Natalie Jean]

But you do have shrimp on your head, which is something they're doing on TikTok, everyone.

[James]

Whoa. Put an actual legitimate shrimp on their head or fake shrimp?

[Natalie Jean]

Real. I'm gonna start this. Let's see if we can manifest reality and see if I saying this starts the chain of events that will cause a trend.

[James]

Shrimp on your head. So we just cursed everyone with shrimp on their head.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[James]

Manifesting live.

[Natalie Jean]

Live shrimp.

[James]

Wow. Okay. Please let us know if you out there you hearing this. You currently have shrimp on your head. And you're like, oh, my God, she did.

[Natalie Jean]

She is talking to me.

[James]

She did it.

[Natalie Jean]

She did it. She did it. We last left off Tharion as he decides to burn everything to the ground. He said, I'm not brave enough to break up with this young lady. And so I will humiliate her and she'll get the picture.

[James]

It's like theory. And you're giving me an ick the size of the century.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, it's not. It's not his finest moment.

[James]

Not a good look.

[Natalie Jean]

So, yes, he goes. He comes on.

[James]

You did this there. I'm sorry. I know that what you're going through, but like, you.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, I know.

[James]

You made your fucking. Now you got a fucking it. That's it.

[Natalie Jean]

I ain't going to argue with you. He did it. But what he does instead, he's. He comes and hits on a sexy potential movie Star at the Equinox Ball. He might have hell to pay for this. And while this is boy behavior, at least he is giving the River Queen's daughter a chance to villainize him and move on past.

[James]

Oh, so he's doing it to benefit her? Yeah, no, he's doing it for her.

[Natalie Jean]

He's doing it. He.

[James]

He wanted to act like an asshole. Yeah, I'm sure that's a stretch.

[Natalie Jean]

That lady reverse cowgirled him to save another lady.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Whoa.

[James]

Is that like. Like the time Turner?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Like, if she had not him reverse.

[James]

You know, reverse the. The sex move.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I meant.

[James]

I. No, I just meant that, like, I feel like she did it reverse. So if she done it the other way, would all of, like, everything be different if she'd done it front ways? You never know what affects time. I'm sorry. I recently saw a Hallmark Christmas movie where a woman was in 1905, and then she was wished on a comet when she was in a boat, and then the boat ended up being in 2025. And I've been thinking a lot about what could bring about time travel. And I guess I just thought maybe if you were reverse, it's like, all right, well, we tried a cowgirl. This ain't doing it, but let's do it reverse. And then all of a sudden, like, teleporting. You know what I mean?

[Natalie Jean]

Your mind just goes into interesting venues, takes avenues one would never guess. Some say I'm mentally ill, some say you're mentally trill.

[James]

Oh, wow.

[Natalie Jean]

Remember that one young.

[James]

Oh, I guess it's not a young.

[Natalie Jean]

We'll return to that part of the story at a later juncture, because now we are with Ithan, and Hypaxia is doing dark magic to summon Connor.

[James]

Is this what she should be doing?

[Natalie Jean]

No.

[James]

Hypaxia is so powerful. There's so many things going on. We're gonna go see if we can.

[Natalie Jean]

Find Ethan, especially because it seems like this takes quite a bit of her own, like, energy up to do. And it's dangerous. Ethan's in his thoughts, watching Hypaxia prepare the space they're standing in, out in the crisp evening air while standing in an olive grove not too far from. It's like, right outside of the city. Marveling at how Bryce managed to embarrass her father enough to accept Bryce and Hunt's matehood at the ball. He's also grateful that he mostly managed to avoid seeing Sabine and Amelie at this event, since they only stayed long enough to show the hysteria. They were there and then left.

[James]

So sometimes you just gotta show your face. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

You gotta show up. And then you Irish goodbye that shit. Hypaxia lays out an altar circle of sorts, describing something that sounds a little Wiccan, a little Satanist, a little sexu. Very sexy. She's drawn like six pointed star on the ground. She's got candles as above. So below all that stuff. She tells him to get inside the circle she has just drawn.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

A chill went up Ethan's spine even as his heart lightened. If he could just talk to Connor. He thought over and over about what he'd say, but he couldn't remember any of it.

[James]

Fucking write it down, you idiot.

[Natalie Jean]

Sweet.

[James]

You're going through all of this. Oh, God. Oh, I'm gonna see Connor. Oh, God. What am I gonna say? What am I gonna say? You imagine hi backstage, just being like, I'm going through all this right now. Get your life together.

[Natalie Jean]

What if we just kill Ethan and.

[James]

Then he gets to go get rid of him? Got him. We don't need him.

[Natalie Jean]

Anytime he wants. I'm just kidding, guys. Hypaxia begins.

[James]

You're right, though.

[Natalie Jean]

Hypaxia begins to change.

[James]

You want him? Go get him.

[Natalie Jean]

He kills himself just to be like Connor. Our bodies are there. Go turn Del.

[James]

Were you happy? That was all. Are you?

[Natalie Jean]

Are you okay with Venmo Stash?

[Coupon Holder]

A taco on one hand and ordering a ride in the other means you're stacking cash back with Venmo Stash. Get up to 5% cash back when you pick a bundle of your favorite brands. Earn more cash when you do mobile stash Venmo Stash. Terms and exclusions apply. Max $100 cashback per month. See terms of mo termsterms. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get PA all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. The best part about it is it can help you design a funnel in which you can very quickly record commercials so that you can get it done while you were desperately trying to get on break. That's the best part about Squarespace. It can really shorten up the time you spend doing things. You got to get in there.

[James]

You got to get in there.

[Coupon Holder]

Use Squarespace. Man is it fast. It is absolutely incredible. You're going to love your experience at Squarespace. Head to squarespace.com/henry for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Henry to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Natalie Jean]

So Hypaxi begins to chant. We cut over to Roon later that same evening. He apparently has finally fallen asleep after the ball. So we have Hypaxia and Ethan, like in the almost dawn's early light past the the ball. They're doing this spell at the same time. Ruhn is already asleep. He bailed at the party after the whole mess that almost happened there. And he has finally fallen asleep and is now apparently on the bridge waiting for day. Feeling terrible for putting her in danger and hoping to apologize to her. She appears, keeping her distance at his first sight of her, he rushes towards where she stands, telling her how sorry he is for being so reckless when so many dangerous people were present at the ball. He tells her he's not sure if she tried to find him, but he had spotted the hind in the harpy and bailed.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I was there, she said quietly.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh. She steps forward towards him, telling him that she saw the threat too and stayed away. Run.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

His name on her lips rocked through him.

[James]

Well, that's a bit of a power dynamic, isn't it?

[Natalie Jean]

She knows who he is.

[James]

She knows who he is, but he doesn't know who she is.

[Natalie Jean]

They both process this information. Ruhn is feeling tingly, hearing his name come out of her mouth and asks her to repeat it. She seems pretty invested in the situation now that she's seen who it is.

[James]

I mean, wouldn't you be.

[Natalie Jean]

She's like, oh, hell yeah. So, yeah, she's not. She's not bummed, apparently, in her response.

[James]

Yeah, man. Prince of the Val Bar and Fay. Give me some of that. Squirt wants to.

[Natalie Jean]

That's what she says next. Yes, that is.

[James]

Yeah. In this beautiful romantic scene.

[Natalie Jean]

Give me some of that Squirt. Squirt.

[James]

Can you imagine? He would have. Wow. He would have exploded.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, like, whoa, Okay.

[James]

I don't even care who you are.

[Natalie Jean]

Or pants gone. Rune wants to get right down to business and is like, where can we meet right now? Everyone's still at the ball partying. We can go sneak around and like hide in a corner. She tells him she's out of town already, but he doesn't believe her. She argues back that they will be killed if anyone sees them together. So we don't know where she is. But she is aware of what they almost did. Like, they did just almost meet in the place where every dangerous person in the. On the planet was all.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[James]

Coming together and like, literally around where they were supposed to meet are two of, like, their biggest enemies. So, yeah, I'm pretty sure it's not the place to do it.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. They mull over all the big feelings that are arising between them. Ruhn tells her he's glad she's not the harpy. She laughs, but won't give any more indication of who she is. Instead, she begins to lay out what she's deduced.

[James]

How does Ruhn. I feel like, hard. Stop, bitch. Just you know who I am. Tell me who you are. We're on the brain bridge if there is a time. But also they don't know can other people hear on the brain bridge. But at this point, you just said his fucking name. So in for a penny, in for a pound.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Ho.

[Natalie Jean]

He should have tried that method.

[James]

Should have said that.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[James]

Like, I mean, it's a different time. I feel like it would have been, you know, ruin. Always calling women hoes out there.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[James]

I don't know when was the last time I said hoe. I certainly haven't called someone a hoe in 20 plus years.

[Natalie Jean]

You have that shirt that says there's some ho, ho, hoes in this house.

[James]

That is true. And we're always thinking about Wap at the holidays at our house.

[Natalie Jean]

We certainly are.

[James]

Pray to the house of Wap.

[Natalie Jean]

So. So she's now, you know, describing Rune to him, being basically like, I know all about you. They had these discussions about their lives before they knew who they were. So she's deducing, oh, the father who hurt you is the Autumn King.

[James]

It's like, you know so much more about me that I know about you right now. And I feel uncomfortable.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, he doesn't seem like he seems.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, he's fine.

[James]

It's just. Can you imagine? I know that it's not the gender binary, but in this instance, it's like one of those things that I feel like if he identified as a woman, there's no way we would be like, I need more. You can't know. Right. I'm not. I. I know all the blood is in my dick right now, but I. I need more than this.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, Ruhn is quite a male. And mostly he's just like, maybe I.

[James]

Could put my penis in her now.

[Natalie Jean]

Because she thinks I'm cute.

[James]

I'm cute. She knows who I am. I don't care. So she's probably shot. But also your rune, of course. Look at you. I don't know. I mean, I think everybody's usually saying yes.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, that's one of the reasons, I think, unfortunately, he's attracted to her is because she's not up going after him. She's like, nah, I'm good. He's like, wait, I'm rude?

[James]

But look, I would have loved that many times ago on the brain bridge. Like, he can't even stop himself, and he just says, I'm rude. God damn it. You're supposed to be a spy.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm nice.

[James]

I made a night sky.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm nice. Night sky. So she's disgusted by the Autumn King. She tells him. So he is a little uneasy when Day acknowledges Bryce is his sister, feeling kind of protective. But of course, Day would know, especially after the ball and the spectacle that Bryce caused.

[James]

Right.

[Natalie Jean]

She also points out that he's betrothed to Hypaxia. Ruhn can't help but hear attention in her voice, almost something like jealousy. Whoa. He steps closer to her, telling her that all he could do was think about midnight and seeing her, her breath quickens. And so he goes in and he kisses her.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

The mouth beneath the fire was soft and warm and opened for him. Ugh.

[James]

Sorry. Don't like. I don't like the phrase opened. Like the mouth, like in the mouth, or the legs, like. Or a pussy. It's like. And it's like the vagina blossomed and. Sorry, Just. That's a personal yuck. Anyway, I'll continue.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Flaming fingers twined through his hair, tugging him close, and Ruhn slid his arms around his slim, curving body, hands feeling her ample backside. Fuck, yes.

[Natalie Jean]

Ooh, Big old butt.

[James]

Wow. She's slim and curvy. It's like everything he's ever needed.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, we need the. We need that audience sound that all sitcoms had back in the day.

[James]

They both lean, like Stefan or Kel showing up. Oh, yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Yes.

[James]

You know what that means? Laura's getting dicked down in the finest way.

[Natalie Jean]

So many of you have Stefan fantasies. I. I didn't realize. I hear about it all the time. Stefan was a big one for y' all in the 90s.

[James]

Oh, he certainly was. I mean, I wasn't going after Carl. Sorry. Carl Winslow. You're not my type. Wow. You're a police officer and I'm not into it.

[Natalie Jean]

That's fair.

[James]

The brother has nothing to do with him.

[Natalie Jean]

The brother's cute, though. I forget his name. Yes.

[James]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think something Tragic. Recently, I do.

[Natalie Jean]

Was he the one who seemed to remember? I genuinely don't remember it. I'm sorry.

[James]

Yeah, no, we genuinely. Yeah. As acting, you know, you don't expect to be talking about family matters, just in a regular conversation, usually. I knew that I was gonna start.

[Natalie Jean]

Singing the theme song, but then I started singing Full House, and that was the wrong one.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

What is it?

[James]

It's a rare condition in this day and age to read any good news. All the news people. Bad loving condition is a grand design. Some people say it's even harder to find. Wow. Right from the recesses of our brain.

[Natalie Jean]

There we go. All right.

[James]

They both lean in, can't remember anything new. But, man, in just an instant, I was like, there's no way I'll ever remember. And then as I was thinking it, it came out of my mouth. Yep.

[Natalie Jean]

The important parts of my brain are filled with theme songs, unfortunately. Good. Yeah. The marketing worked. So they both lean in, hungry for one another. Now that she knew who he was, he whisked the mask of night back from his face. And she pulls herself back, looking at him.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Her fingers trace the bridge of his nose, the bow of his lips, his tiny pencil mustache. Little must.

[James]

You're not him. You're not. I was like, you are not Knight or Ruhn. Don't you lie to me.

[Natalie Jean]

This is how I envisioned.

[James]

Oh, is this. Oh, is this what you're bringing? This is him on the inside.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Then she kissed him again with sheer abandon, and Ruhn gave himself entirely to it.

[Natalie Jean]

She reveals to him, almost in pain, that he reminds her of her own decency, of her veneerity. It's like humanity.

[James]

Aw.

[Natalie Jean]

That she's alive and not this robot going through the motions. He starts to respond, but when she gasps, and not in the good way.

[James]

Damn.

[Natalie Jean]

She glances behind her, and he can tell by her expression that it's the male who has pulled her away before, the one who hurts her. She looks at him with sadness and says she's sorry before fading away. We cut over to. Sucks.

[James]

Don't you hate it when you're out on the brain bridge with your crush and then her other worst abuser comes around and takes her from your date out on the brain bridge.

[Natalie Jean]

Not my favorite. We cut over to Hunt's POV as he and Bryce finally call it a night post ball. He's pretty drunk.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Filling out that suit.

[Natalie Jean]

Filling it out, leaving it on. Because in this scene, he's finally undoing his tuxedo tie.

[James]

Maybe I've just been watching too much mad Men. Not that I want to kiss any of them, but there's something about. You know what it is? I take it away. It's not the Mad Men. It's the Heated Rivalry because those hockey players have to go to a lot of functions where they wear. Always the hockey players where they wear their fancy tuxedos. So there's a lot of not supposed to be happening.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Touching in tuxedos.

[James]

Are they all gay ones we're watching are. Oh, okay. No, it's a. It is about. It's multiple books that are inter. Like, the stories are interweaved. So technically, if I believe correct, if I remember correctly, Heated Rivalry is the same second of the series, but then in the third episode they start bringing in the. The storyline from the first book. But everybody was way more like. I think like the craze came from Heated Rivalry, which was the second book. So that is the, like, the focus so far.

[Natalie Jean]

Where is that? What. What is it on?

[James]

It is on hbo, but it is made by a company called Crave, which is a Canadian company.

[Natalie Jean]

But is it like, do they do nudity and stuff?

[James]

Oh, see, that's the thing. I believe Hunting Wives was also made on Crave, so they were able to. It is very erotic, but it's also very romantic. It is. It's very well done. It's great. Oh, my God. The last episode, there was this like, club scene that everybody lost their minds over. And It's. I mean, 20 minutes in it, there's hardcore sex happening.

[Natalie Jean]

Okay, all right. You're selling me on it. I heard hockey and I was just like, I don't want to watch a sport show.

[James]

The only thing they taught them this might sell you on it about hockey was they taught them how to hold the stick and how to ice skate. That's it. That's the amount of hockey that is in this show. It is an erotica that has a little hockey in it.

[Natalie Jean]

I wonder how the hockey players feel about it.

[James]

Like, the real ones, the. There was someone that was a closeted player for a long time that is now out that actually said that the show is so well done. It's actually very triggering because of how many times he would have to like, hide a paramore up through like a fire escape or something like that. And. Or like what they're doing, which is only banging when their teams are playing against each other. And they happened and they're both the, like, head of both of their team. Like, they're the captains of both of their teams and everybody's like, they're the, like, technically enemies. Natalie.

[Natalie Jean]

Okay, so that's what Jackie is envisioning during this scene.

[James]

You were wondering.

[Natalie Jean]

Hunt. Yeah, maybe Hunt and Bryce brought home a hockey player from the bar.

[James]

Oh, my God. Because Hunt's like, yeah, we can have a little fun.

[Natalie Jean]

Whoa. So they are in the same time frame as the other two scenes. This is like three, four in the morning. They had left the ball the same time as Ruhn did and had found a dive bar where they drank whiskey and play pool. Don't threaten me with a good time.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Damn.

[Natalie Jean]

Now it's 3am and they're stumbling back to the apartment still in their fancy gear.

[James]

Cute.

[Natalie Jean]

They had focused on having a fun night and not talking about everything they had just discovered in the old cloak room with the news of who likes who.

[James]

Oh, yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Bryce announces she is, quote, plastered as they enter the apartment, which Hunt finds amusing and unprincess. Like. She collapses on the couch, shoes already kicked off. And Hunt walks to stand over her as he finally pulls the knot out of his bow tie. And I just like that imagery. So I left it in.

[James]

I think that's great.

[Natalie Jean]

He then sits.

[James]

Yeah, I like it too.

[Natalie Jean]

He then sits across from her on the coffee table, picking up one of his favorite things, her foot, and begins to massage it as they briefly talk about the events of the night.

[James]

It's not my kink, but I am happy for them both.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, sure. And I'll take a foot massage. Sure. It was brutal, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been that night. So they're kind of just like, going over.

[James]

The massage was brutal. He is not good at it. He's a little too strong. And I really love to give him some notes.

[Natalie Jean]

No. But they're talking about their plan for the evening and how they could have gone. It could have gone along a little bit better. Yeah.

[James]

But it could have gotten a lot worse.

[Natalie Jean]

He admits to her that though she grumbles about never going to a ball again, that he liked being seen with her, dancing with her in front of everyone.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You like being a prince?

[Natalie Jean]

I think more than anything. He likes showing she's not his property, but that they were each other's. Like, he was like, this is my.

[James]

Woman they want to stunt. I love stunting with my husband, for sure.

[Natalie Jean]

He admits that he never had that with anyone. Even Shahar, who preferred to keep their liaisons secret. Bryce can't believe Shahar never wanted to go out and proclaim Hunt as hers. Show him off. She asks if he wants to Go hook up in the street so that media will print it in all the series.

[James]

I love. That is so cute.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. Which makes him laugh. He can't believe talking about Shaharch isn't just pain anymore.

[James]

Oh, my God. I guess this is growing up.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, my God. Is he healing? He points out while kissing her foot that they are technically, like, married now.

[James]

Oh, my God.

[Natalie Jean]

She teases him that she doesn't have a ring, so maybe they're not married. Whoa. He bites her toes, not for his own enjoyment, but to tease her back. It's for being funny. He asked.

[James]

I can imagine Jeff would. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, if he went to go take my feet and bite my toes, I'm like, what is wrong with you? Are you teething fuck away from me?

[Natalie Jean]

Well, now we know that Jeff does not have a toe thing.

[James]

Like I said, I'm not here to judge.

[Natalie Jean]

By now you would.

[James]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm pretty open, I think. You know, I think at this point I'm attracted by most things. I think feet. I think it's nice to have a couple of things that I'm not like. Or else I'd be a fucking monster 247 for sure.

[Natalie Jean]

He asks if she wants iron, steel or titanium for the ring.

[James]

Oh, I thought you meant. I think it's all hard. Bitch, I'll take any of it.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, his penis.

[James]

How hard you want it? Yeah, you want it? Scraping a diamond hard.

[Natalie Jean]

I can control my erections. Wow. That would actually be pretty impressive. Yeah.

[Commercial Announcer]

Grand Canyon University, an affordable, private Christian university, is one of the largest universities in the country, offering more than 285 programs online. In addition to federal grants and aid, GCU's online students receive nearly $161 million in institutional scholarships in 2024. Find your purpose at Grand Canyon University. Private Christian, affordable. Visit gcu. Edu Myoffer to see the scholarships you may qualify for.

[Natalie Jean]

No, he's talking about. It's tradition in Lunathean to base wedding rings on simple, strong metals so there's none of the diamond crap. He starts talking about her toes and you know where this leads. More dudes grappling with erotica. Incoming soon. Yay. The chapter ends with them finishing together. There's a big old sex scene, and when the two of them catch their breath for a moment, they realize they can feel a cool breeze and hear music.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

All of a sudden, Hunt stilled, gaping down at Bryce, at the surface, beneath her, the apartment building's roof. Bryce grinned sheepishly.

[Natalie Jean]

Oops.

[James]

Call it a case of the telepul.

[Natalie Jean]

Uh oh. You just got teleport.

[James]

You just got teleport. Really? Man, JSM really missed out on calling this teleporting.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, as I said, it's the worst word for sex.

[James]

I hate it. I. But I love teleporting so much and I would probably hate it if that were my life.

[Natalie Jean]

But unless you get into becomes your thing. Chapter 62 Ethan is watching Hypaxia chant. We're back there and is feeling the temperature drop around still with this.

[James]

Don't worry, we're gonna get every moment of it.

[Natalie Jean]

Ethan nervously plans out what he's going to say to Connor.

[James]

Just like bro, bullet point it. Like get note cards.

[Natalie Jean]

Hypaxia looks as though this summoning is taking a toll on her body.

[James]

I imagine she's also very annoyed with whatever is happening over there with Ethan.

[Natalie Jean]

Yes, he's preparing his speech. She is covered in sweat and looks a bit faint. She tells him that he needs to be prepared in a moment because his brother's spirit is very strong and she won't be able to hold the spell very long. Inside the six pointed star, she has drawn in the dirt.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Light ruptured from the star, blinding and white. A great wind shaking the trees around them, sending olives scattering in a pitta pata. Ethan squeezed his eyes shut against it, letting his claws slide free.

[Natalie Jean]

He opens his eyes against the bright light and as his vision adjusts, his stomach drops. It's not Connor who is before them.

[James]

I don't.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I don't know what to tell you. It's the under king.

[James]

It's the under king. It's the under king. I. It's just. It's the under like.

[Natalie Jean]

Who thought this was a good idea?

[James]

No one. I feel like hypaxia probably also like is like. I guess I'll try.

[Natalie Jean]

But like.

[James]

Like honey, I got other things to do.

[Natalie Jean]

I feel like they're enabling him at this point.

[James]

Yeah. Somebody needs. He needs the therapist that says, you gotta work through this, babe.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah. Stunned.

[James]

This is the only way I know how. Just ruining everyone's everybody's time.

[Natalie Jean]

Stunned and fearful. Ithan only knows the under King's visage from drawings now as he stands before him. It's like a nightmare come to life. He watches Hypaxia quickly cover her confusion in front of the under king and go into full queen mode.

[Commercial Announcer]

Hot.

[Natalie Jean]

Demanding he return to the bone quarter that the under king was not called here. The under king laughs at them and calls them young fools. Ethan. And he's not wrong. Ithan finds his voice horrifying.

[James]

Ethan's like. I can't even believe I'm even scared of his voice. Whoa. It's almost like you're the hunter King zombie.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I hate him.

[James]

I think I hate like I didn't realize in like the original. Like I didn't hate him this much. But going back through it. I hated him by the third book. But I didn't hate him this much. The like our first experiences with this.

[Natalie Jean]

But I do find myself wanting to punch him in the face a little bit. And I don't like that impulse in myself. And I think that I need to work through that feeling.

[James]

But you're not gonna work through it anytime soon.

[Natalie Jean]

No. Ethan thinks about his gun but knows that the gun won't help you.

[James]

Imagine him trying to shoot at the fucking Under King, bro. What, you think that's gonna work?

[Natalie Jean]

The Under King sees him start to move for it and laughs again. Tells him he shouldn't fret. That the Under King can't hurt him from this ring. He says he wants to talk to his brother. The Under King tells him that Connor is safe. But now he might not be, depending on how he and Hypaxia respond to this.

[James]

And how do you feel about that? Do you feel like maybe you shouldn't be fucking with this stuff?

[Natalie Jean]

So now he has actually maybe put his brother into further danger. Who would have thought this was a bad idea?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

The Under King lifted a bony hand and an eerie greenish light wreathed his fingers. Ethan could have sworn ancient strange symbols swirled in that light.

[James]

Let's play a little game first. Oh. With a little bit of a lisp.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He inclined his head to Hypaxia, whose face had gone stony anticipatory.

[Natalie Jean]

The house of flame and shadow has.

[James]

Been long curious about your abilities, your Majesty. Uh oh. So you're saying I shouldn't have done this? Under King.

[Natalie Jean]

Who would have ever guessed we shouldn't do it? We cut back to Bryce the same evening, or I guess early morning light since this is post coitus and Hunt and her are in bed and they didn't get back to the apartment till 3am so this is probably around dawn. She knows she is asleep next to Hunt, and yet she's also in a desert with a bright blue sky above her. There is nothing else except mountains in the distance. And then the Prince of the Pit appears before her.

[James]

What? Upoleon. Want to look at my father? Oh, you're Apollo, bitch. I'm a golden haired adonis.

[Natalie Jean]

Bitch.

[James]

Don't I look like one? Don't I look like. Aren't I giving. Adonis. Natalie. I can't believe you didn't know right out the gate who I was. Cause I'm a young. I'm a thick, hot nippled boy.

[Natalie Jean]

So is the hat because you think he's a bucket hat wearing guy or do you think he has shrimp on his head?

[James]

Well, both. Oh, he keeps up with the times. I think he knows the future, knows the future trends. And I think that like he was forward thinking and is a little bit of an influencer.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[James]

A little prinfluencer. Prinfluencer. Princefluencer. Yes. And that's, you know, I just feel like if he showed up like this, it's like, oh, that's the prince of the pit. It just looks like he needs a broccoli haircut. I'll fucking send him on his way. And I'll go six, seven. I think even I would be too old to say it, but I think.

[Natalie Jean]

Right, yes, yes.

[James]

Not me. I meant me as the golden haired Adonis.

[Natalie Jean]

Well, I think he's a millennia old, so very much too old.

[James]

Yeah. But he loves showing off his nipples.

[Natalie Jean]

Popping bottles in ice.

[James]

Popping nipples in your brain.

[Natalie Jean]

So, yes, his nipples are out. We have now deduced that Apollyon appears before her. Even the unbothered Bryce has to hide her trembling in front of him.

[James]

Why are you scared? Whoa. I'm just a guy. Hey. I guess it's more of that. Oh, well, yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Surfer, maybe. Yeah, boy.

[James]

I think he's more like this.

[Natalie Jean]

He's appeared to her as a tan Adonis type.

[James]

Thank you.

[Natalie Jean]

She compares him to Pollux.

[James]

Thank you.

[Natalie Jean]

Makes me think of Rocky from Rocky Horror Picture Show. But wearing clothes, I think.

[James]

Yes. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also that's what this chest is giving as well. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Eyes, however, fully blackened out. No whites.

[James]

I have to wear my contacts. So there's, you know.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, those are hard. Those full eyeball contacts are tough. I can't get them in.

[James]

Usually they're tough and you can get them prescription. But it's, you know, it's like with these characters, all of them have weird eyes. And if we start going through the. Like, it's like, that's an expensive venture. I don't know where you would put them.

[Natalie Jean]

You know, I have started to buy the contacts and I have to the practice of putting them in again because it's been a minute since I wore contacts for fun. But I kind of want to start worrying do it. So, yes. She's in front of the Star Eater. She asks where Hungry. Yeah. She asks where they are. And he reveals that they are in the ruins of Parthos, the long ago city that stood before the Asteri arrived on this planet. Though he adds, this is just in her dream.

[James]

You're being a little bit of a Kruger right now.

[Natalie Jean]

A little Krugery, Yeah. Though she's scared. Apparently he's disappointed that she's not more scared and asks, why Is it the.

[James]

Shrimp on my head?

[Natalie Jean]

I think it was the bucket hat. Maybe.

[James]

Is the bucket hat. It's not given Prince of the Pit. It's giving.

[Natalie Jean]

Intimidating.

[James]

Should I put it off to the side? Like does this. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

That's scary.

[James]

Jauntier.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[James]

Is that giving? Prince of the Pit. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Now I'm scared.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I guess I'm snake.

[Natalie Jean]

You're also a snake.

[James]

I. I'm trying to add on elements that make me scarier. You know?

[Natalie Jean]

Can you add a snake tongue? James? So.

[James]

Don'T do it, James.

[Natalie Jean]

Why not do it, James, though?

[James]

So he could have a hard enough time trying to get rid of my nipple. I guess he can keep the nipples in because they're men. They're male nipples.

[Natalie Jean]

They're men.

[James]

Keep them in.

[Natalie Jean]

She explains that, well, I'm not as afraid of you as maybe others are because your brother's been visiting me since I was 13. So it's like kind of like old news a little bit. He calls Aidas a thorn in his side. The one who visits Bryce. Bryce suggests that maybe they bring Aidas to top this discussion. And Napoleon reveals that he's actually calling her intentionally when Aidas will not know because he would be angry and I'm.

[James]

The chill brother is.

[Natalie Jean]

He's the star eater.

[James]

Yeah. But like, it's just because he's hungry.

[Natalie Jean]

She asks where Aidas is right now. Like, where is he that you can come speak with me? And Apollyon tells her that he is out readying Hell's Army. Okay.

[James]

Great. I'm a bit of a tattletale.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[James]

Really.

[Natalie Jean]

He confirms her fear that they are planning on invading Midgard soon. She asks him to stay out, please. And he tells her that he is pleased to know that she doesn't trust the princes. Then he tells her that was the problem with the original Starborn queen, that she trusted them and it killed her.

[James]

Not only that.

[Natalie Jean]

And we're talking about Thea, if you recall. Thea. Whoa. He trusted them because Aidas loved Theia. Excuse me if you need a refresher. Because Holy schnikes. There's a lot of characters in these books.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Theia was the original starborn princess or queen. She was married to a man named Fion who became king. Thea became the first starborn queen then. And it turns out at some point she and Aidas from hell became lovers.

[James]

Which badass. It is very cool. I think that like, if I'm a queen, then I'm like, I'm gonna bang the prince. Like, that's really. It's cool. It's like what Everybody wanted from FernGully. We just wanted that smog to become corporeal so we could have sex with it. And I feel like that is akin to this.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, kinda, I think.

[James]

And then in this, you know, where the. The fairy that. I don't remember their names.

[Natalie Jean]

I don't either.

[James]

Were they fairies or they. Were they referred to as Faye or were they God?

[Natalie Jean]

I don't remember. You might have to look that up. Yeah.

[James]

Deserves a look up. They are fairies. There you go. That's it.

[Natalie Jean]

That's what we're here for.

[James]

So I had to know. I had to.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, no, I know.

[James]

I just was wondering because, like, you know, I feel like, like, you know, we all know the fae and fairies are two separate things. And it is interesting when people like, oh, you love watching your fairies.

[Natalie Jean]

Smart.

[James]

It's like you don't even know anything about us.

[Natalie Jean]

Okay, loser.

[James]

Get out of here.

[Natalie Jean]

Apollyon reveals that it was due to Aidas and Thea's actions that led to Apollyon devouring Sirius the seventh Esteri during the last great battle. So we are getting a bunch of lore drop right now. He is revealing some things. Aidas had gone into such a rage that Pelias, Thea's daughter Helena's husband, had killed Thea. The princes began to lose the control they had in the war.

[James]

So there is a whole 80s upset because his got killed.

[Natalie Jean]

His. His lover got killed his hoe. If you got killed by her daughter's husband, right, because they're. It's a power battle. This is very Greek mythology kind of where there's all these different characters coming in. And so she's killed Aidas, who was in love with her, goes into a rage. He causes this big disruption in the. In the fight. And then that is when Apolon has to go in and actually kind of does this like positive thing. But it was because Aidas had caused this huge reckless problem. And then he has to go in and he devours Sirius. He kills the seventh asteri which is.

[James]

Like his brother was doing all this shit. I'm not brother, but like, you know, I guess like supernatural brother in professional.

[Natalie Jean]

We don't really know how. If they. How they are they actually really. We don't know.

[James]

I know they're not, but in my head I feel like. I guess. I guess, no, I guess we don't know. I just feel like they would have said that by now or would they not have said that by now? But I feel like they've worked side by side. Like, I feel like this is like a Jackie Holden kind of scenario where it's like, oh, we've worked side by side for so long that we may as well be brother and sister. You know what I mean? I wonder if they have one of those kind of things going.

[Natalie Jean]

They do use the term brother, right?

[James]

And he is annoyed by this shit and he's got to be like, now I gotta go eat the fucking. I gotta go and I'm not even hungry and I gotta do it for you.

[Natalie Jean]

So I put. I think you're putting yourself in the Apollyon role. And Holden is at us.

[James]

Correct.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[James]

So although, let's be real here. If in this scenario, if my lover were killed like that, I would, if I could, would love to start like some sort of interdimensional war. Like, I'd love that.

[Natalie Jean]

Love it. So Apollyon ends up having to finish the battle that Ada started. And he ends up killing both Pelias, who is Helena's husband, who kills Theia and Sirius in the aftermath of everything that happened. Bryce.

[James]

I came in to clean up shop.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah, exactly. Bryce is almost as confused as we are and asks Apollyon to clarify how Aidas and Thea are as enemies found themselves in a romance. Apollyon reveals, and this is a big story plotline, that they weren't enemies, but allies. He tells her that she and like Theia and her Fae under her allied with the Princes of the Pit to defeat the Asteri. So we're going to learn a lot more about Thea over the series of the books. But she has a whole story arc in a time before even the books take place. So Theia ends up becoming the ally to the Princes and wanting to defeat defeat the Asteri. Bryce tries to continue questioning Apollyon, but he cuts her off, asking her why she isn't mastering her powers. She counters asking whether he sent the reapers which attacked her and Ruhn in the sewers chapters ago, wondering if this is supposed to be a Test of.

[James]

Her powers or whatever. You're all hung up.

[Natalie Jean]

But Apollyon seems genuinely confused about what she's talking about. Which is also confusing, because the Underking suggested that Apollyon sent the Reapers back in those chapters.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

If he spoke true and Hel hadn't been their enemy back then, Whatever side Theia had ruled, she'd been against the Asteri, and Pelias had killed her fighting for the Asteri.

[Natalie Jean]

It's not necessarily important at the moment. She asks why he's telling her this, though. And this is info that Aidas apparently didn't want to tell Bryce. She realizes that Thea is likely pulled from the history books because the Asteri didn't want people knowing that there was a possibility of rebelling against them.

[James]

And they control the narrative of everything.

[Natalie Jean]

So, yeah, it doesn't fit in. Apollyon warns her that the world is on the precipice of destruction, and she needs to focus in. Get in your game. The night of the equinox is when the veil to their world is the thinnest. Hence, this is why he is coming to her this evening to warn her about this. This again confuses Bryce. Apollyon had visited Hunt before, and it was just some random night of the year. And then Apollyon says this. Would you say Surfer?

[James]

Surfer.

[Natalie Jean]

Orion was bred to be receptive to our kind. Why do you think he is so adept at hunting us? But that is of no matter. This night, I might appear to you as more than a vision.

[James]

Put some fucking shrimp on your head.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He reached out a hand and Bryce flinched as it touched her. Truly touched her ice. So cold it ached.

[Natalie Jean]

Hell is nearly ready to finish this war.

[James]

Zap. You just got zapped by ice. Ice touch. Zap. Ice touch. Cool as ice. Yeah. Better watch out. Hope I don't freeze it.

[Natalie Jean]

Okay, so even though I was being silly that I don't know if you heard in that sentence, I was listening. So she's so taken aback by this proclamation that the war is about to start, she seems to have glossed over the beginning of that sentence. Hunt was bred to be receptive to quote our kind. What in the H E single hockey stick does that mean?

[James]

She single hockey. Sticky cutie.

[Natalie Jean]

So what? What does Hunt was bred. What does that mean? What are you talking about? So she doesn't. In that moment, she's just, like, taking in all this information. She starts to back away from him, as if not wanting to hear what he says next. But he goes on commanding her to use the Horn to channel Hunt's power to open the gates of Hell.

[James]

It's that easy.

[Natalie Jean]

That easy. She refuses. Apollyon sneers in disappointment. The dream starts to fade away as Apollyon tells her to find him in Hell. When she is ready, I'll be there.

[James]

Bring cocktail sauce.

[Natalie Jean]

And then he surfs out of the desert.

[James]

Whoa, what was that surfing dog cartoon that was on? Or am I thinking of the Simpsons? Do they have like a surfing dog that like, he's like a stoner dog? Don't worry.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

None of this matters.

[Natalie Jean]

I feel like that does sound familiar, but I don't remember. He's making it sound like something is very.

[James]

Poochie. His name is Poochie.

[Natalie Jean]

Ah, Simpsons. Yeah. He's making it sound to her like what we just heard from Napoleon is that something very big is about to happen.

[James]

Okay, sorry, I'm locked in. I'm locked in. I'm paying attention. Okay, Something big is about to happen. Hunt has been bred apparently, and 80s and Apollo don't like each other.

[Natalie Jean]

But I mean like the main. The main takeaway here is that Apollon's like, we're about to invade your. Your world. Your. It's coming. So fix your. Find out about your powers.

[James]

Giddy up.

[Natalie Jean]

And she doesn't have a lot of time left. Just what that means exactly is still not fully clear. Then we're back with all Ethan and Hypaxia. Oh, good. Who have just heard the strange, ominous words, pondering what Hypaxia's powers are from the under King. As you recall, she has two houses that her parents are from, and she's never given loyalty to the House of Flame and Shadow. But Under King's like, oh, you'll be great with us. And she's like, like, excuse me.

[James]

Okay, I thought I had to be just the Witch Queen, but all right, we can.

[Natalie Jean]

So they've just heard these things. Then the under king suddenly disappears. They're both looking around frantically. Hypaxia demanding Ethan stay in the safety zone of the the ritual, that the under King's not really gone. She can feel his power all around them. After a moment of assessment, Hypaxi announces that the under King put up wards, including above them to prevent them from leaving this grove of trees.

[James]

Great.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Are you happy, Ethan?

[James]

You happy with how this came out?

[Natalie Jean]

As they start to find try to find a way out of these wards, they are interrupted by a growl. Because of course another monster is going to show up.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Another one rippled from nearby, then another all around them. What's that, Ethan breathed, even his veneer eyes failing to pierce the darkness. Hypaxia's hands glowed white, hot with magic. She didn't take her gaze off the trees ahead of them.

[Natalie Jean]

The hunting hounds of the House of.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Flame and Shadow, she said grimly before slamming her hand against the ward in front of them.

[Natalie Jean]

It's a me. Art. Art. Art. The olive trees is Italian too.

[James]

Oh, because they're olive trees. It was like. Because Italians. No, I just scary.

[Natalie Jean]

The Italians. Just.

[James]

Oh, that's just. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go against your character creation here. So you are the demon hound and. But. So you're coming at them like with a marinara. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm gonna get you spaghetti.

[James]

I'm gonna make it a goo. And I. If I saw that coming at me and I was trapped in an air box, I probably wouldn't be happy either.

[Natalie Jean]

Latte is not a coffee to us. It's a milk. Don't order it. Don't order latte in Italy, I guess us, huh? So that's it.

[James]

That's the end. That's great.

[Natalie Jean]

They're being attacked by hunting hounds and that's where we are. There's a lot of shit.

[James]

Don't forget, all Italians are hunting hounds, and they just vice versa. You can't break them apart. So be scared of all of us. We are ready to attack at any moment. Alfonsuchini, please read up until chapter 65 for next week. It.