LPN Deep Dives: HOSAB / Episode 37: Sissy Punch-a-bration

Summary

LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City — HOSAB / Episode 37: Sissy Punch-a-bration

Hosts: Natalie Jean & Jackie Zebrowski
Date: February 17, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of LPN Deep Dives: Crescent City zeroes in on the dramatic confrontation between Lydia (the Hind), the Harpy, Ruhn, Bryce, and Hunt as the story approaches its finale in House of Sky and Breath by Sarah J. Maas. Natalie and Jackie—joined by the irreverent Lydia—deliver their signature blend of sharp analysis, chaotic banter, and unfiltered humor as they unravel Chapter 75 onwards, covering betrayals, double agents, mind sex, and the infamous "sissy punch-a-bration."

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

Lydia/The Hind’s Dilemma and Character Dynamics

• The episode kicks off with the hosts playfully talking about the challenges The Hind faces, drawing parallels between their own relationships and those in Crescent City (03:38–06:44).
• Lydia: “I feel bad for her because… I feel like she hasn't had a really good… like… I feel like Natalie and I get the opportunity… but what would Bryce and the Hind do with their Kiki?” (05:28)
• Jackie: “You don't be silly… But Ruhn has had sex with you… on the brain bridge. But he didn’t know it was me. So, like, that’s, you know, do we bring the consent part in there?” (03:55–03:58)
• They discuss the complexity of Lydia as a character, simultaneously a spy, a torturer for generations, and someone struggling with her own identity and loyalties.

Ruhn & Lydia (The Hind) — Mind Sex and Awkward Aftermath

• The hosts riff at length about Ruhn’s confusion and distress after his “mind sex” with the Hind, using a hilarious metaphor of his penis being "al dente" (06:59–07:46).
• Lydia: “His dick is all al dente and he doesn't know what to do with it, and he's like, do I put it back in the boiling water or do I not… It chooses me. That's not good for anybody.” (06:59–07:13)
• Jackie: “That’s not good for anybody. No, everybody hates a frowny penis.” (07:13–07:15)
• Extended riff on the concept of “mind ejaculation,” tying in comedic asides about movie sperm scenes and what happens if someone “comes in your ear,” blending Crescent City plot with pop culture references (09:14–11:19).

The Harpy vs. The Hind — The Decisive Showdown

• The main plot chunk details the physical fight between Lydia (as the Hind) and the Harpy, laced with centuries of animosity (13:00–20:29).
• Jackie: “The two engage in a vicious blade fight, both of them filled with seemingly centuries worth of contempt and rage. They've always hated each other, and now they finally get to fight.” (14:15–14:38)
• Lydia: “It's really, really cool to shove a sword through somebody's neck and then cut off their head. Especially after so many, many centuries of wanting to do it.” (20:16–20:23)
• As the Hind kills the Harpy, the hosts revel in the cathartic violence, joking about taking her blades and letting the bodies hit the floor.

The Great Escape Plan — Trust Issues & Quick Decisions

• Lydia moves to free Ruhn, Bryce, and Hunt; tension mounts as the group is unsure if Lydia is truly on their side after decades of betrayal and violence (23:17–27:08).
• The Hind explains her actions in the Sophie plotline: “She had called the depth charger to come rescue her—What? Remember when you didn’t know where the depth charger was coming from?” (29:07–29:09)
• Trust remains a major theme; the hosts highlight the psychological toll of centuries of shifting allegiances and past atrocities.

Sisters-in-Law & The “Sissy Punch-a-bration”

• As they prepare for Pollux and company to walk in, the group stages a fight to make the lethal scene look convincing. Bryce gleefully punches the Hind, sparking an extended, raucous segment on the joys (and hypothetical disasters) of a “sissy punch-a-bration” (32:04–33:43).
• Quick riff:
  • Lydia: “It's sad that we've never gotten into a physical fight.”
  • Jackie: “Is it sad?”
  • Lydia: “Maybe your 10th anniversary... we get into Sissy Punch. And we call it the Sissy Punch. The Sissy Punch Abration.” (32:11–32:43)

The Asteri’s Grand Villain Monologue

• Natalie and Jackie analyze the classic “villain monologue” as Rigelus, the Big Bad, explains how every step has been masterminded—from Cormac’s death to Celestina’s betrayal (47:55–54:11).
• Rigelus’ motives are revealed as power-mongering across worlds, intending to use Bryce’s “star” to access her home world, and to dine on its magic.
• Jackie: “He gives them a rundown, whether or not they believe him. He starts to do his villains monologue at us. Boy.” (49:33)
• The hosts poke fun at the melodrama but acknowledge the stakes: the threat spans not just this city, but multiple worlds.

“Our Love is Stronger Than Time” — Farewells and Sacrifice

• Bryce and Hunt’s love gets an emotional spotlight as they brace for likely separation or death. The hosts are deeply moved yet provide comic relief:
  • Hunt to Bryce: “Our love is stronger than time, greater than any distance. Our love spans across stars and worlds. I will find you again, I promise.” (57:43–57:59)
• Jackie and Lydia riff: “Don’t make him more of a sad boy.” (58:31)

The Final Gambit — Bryce’s Escape

• The secret plan is triggered: Bryce grabs the Star Sword, uses Hunt’s lightning to power her leap through a portal, leaving Hunt and Ruhn behind as chaos erupts. The question: did Bryce actually end up in Hell, and will armies be brought to fight the Asteri? (61:21–64:33)
  • Jackie: “She burrows down to the bottom of her power and blasts it towards Rigelus in an instant...” (61:21)
  • Jackie: “Guys, where the f did she just go? It seems as though they had made this secret plan... to get her to hell and raise their armies. But what happens when that ain’t go to hell?” (64:39–64:57)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote / Moment | Speaker | |-----------|----------------|---------| | 07:13 | "That's not good for anybody. No, everybody hates a frowny penis." | Jackie | | 11:05 | “They’re all John Travolta. And that’s the problem with having John Travolta come inside of your ears.” | Lydia | | 13:46 | "Throw it down. Throw it down." | Lydia (urging on the fight) | | 20:16 | “But it is really, really cool to shove a sword through somebody’s neck and then cut off their head.” | Lydia | | 29:14 | “Get your facts straight. I'm evil, but I'm not that level of evil.” | Lydia (as The Hind) | | 32:11 | “It's sad that we've never gotten into a physical fight.” | Lydia | | 38:28 | “Ruhn ignored the begging voice, the way it broke as she said Ruhn— he fortified the walls of his mind brick by brick.” | Natalie (reading) | | 41:52 | “Cormac would continue to fight. Maybe Tharion and Hypaxia and Ethan would pick up the cause. Perhaps Fury too.” | Natalie (reading Bryce’s thoughts) | | 43:29 | Lydia riffs on “the ick” of characters who choose one person over the whole world: “It was such a big ick for me... if we are all in the business of saving the world, don’t fucking save me and let the fucking world end.” | Lydia | | 47:55 | “So, like, everything happened, it was all the hysteria just kind of leading him to this point.” | Jackie | | 57:43 | “His lips brushed her brow. Our love is stronger than time, greater than any distance. Our love spans across stars and worlds. I will find you again, I promise.” | Natalie (reading Hunt’s line) |

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro and Personal Banter: 03:06–06:44
• Lydia/The Hind Discussion: 06:44–09:14
• Mind Sex Analogies & Sperm Riffs: 09:14–12:10
• Harpy vs Hind Showdown: 13:00–20:29
• Aftermath and Rescue: 20:45–26:19
• Sissy Punch-a-bration plans: 32:04–33:43
• Asteri Villainy / Monologue: 47:55–54:11
• Goodbyes, Farewells, and Secret Plans: 57:13–64:33
• Cliffhanger Outro: 64:39–65:09

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Tone, Style, and Takeaways

• Language & Tone: Unfiltered, raunchy, and deeply irreverent, with frequent asides and pop culture references. The hosts sustain a giddy, conspiratorial energy as they dissect serious book moments with robust wit and empathy.
• Analysis Depth: The hosts expertly balance emotional beats, fandom humor, and character study—never shying away from the complicated dark elements of Maas’s world.
• Engagement: The “audience participation” jokes (e.g., “sissy punch-a-bration”) keep the summary feeling intimate and inclusive, perfect for fans and newcomers alike.

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Bottom Line:
This episode masterfully combines scandalous humor, sharp literary analysis, and genuine affection for the characters as the Crescent City saga barrels toward its climax. The hosts revel in the chaos, heartbreak, and fight scenes, leaving listeners with a deepened connection to the story—and desperate to know if Bryce truly made it to Hell.

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For Next Week:
Read to the end of the book for the epic conclusion!

Transcript

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[Natalie Jean]

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[Jackie Zabrowski]

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[Natalie Jean]

I got it.

[Lydia]

No, I got it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Seriously, I insist. I assisted first. Oh, don't be silly.

[Lydia]

You don't be silly.

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[Lydia]

Okay. Rock, paper scissors for it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

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[Lydia]

We'Re excited to announce that we're going to Prythian and Vaalbara and Bezgaeth.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

If you're nasty and you can too.

[Lydia]

Join us in spring of 2026 at the Dreamers and Readers Festival, a three day event chock full of choose your own adventures, multiple fables, fashion shows, photo shoots, hoteez Everybody.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

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[Lydia]

Visit fantastiquecollection.com and use our code Faybayes at checkout to receive $10 off of any of these events.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Dreamers and Readers Night one and two.

[Lydia]

Mythical Creatures, Masquerade, Fantastique, Starfo Ball and the Farewell Fae Bash.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Not only that, but if you use our code faybays at checkout for those events, you will receive an exclusion exclusive swag bag from the weekend.

[Lydia]

I'll do anything for a swag bag, Natalie.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Give it to me.

[Lydia]

Yes, that's right. Use our code faybays f a e b a e [e-mail] to get your $10 off of any of these events.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Dreamers and readers, baby. I cannot wait for this.

[Lydia]

Gimme, gimme. Give me that swag.

[Natalie Jean]

Welcome to Crescent City with your hosts, Natalie Jean and Jackie Zabrowski.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

A lot of sound.

[Lydia]

It's a lot of things. I just, I. You know, I gotta get all. I gotta get it situated.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's like a lot of.

[Lydia]

Yeah, well, I'm sorry. That's just the pure leather of my costume. Yep, it's real leather.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Behind.

[Natalie Jean]

Maybe we're sisters in law.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

What?

[Lydia]

Oh, my God, I didn't even realize. It's like we're sister in law. We're sisters in law inside of sisters in law.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

We don't know what's gonna happen.

[Lydia]

No, we don't know what's gonna happen.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But Ruhn has had sex with you.

[Lydia]

Yeah, on the brain bridge. But he didn't know it was me. So, like, that's, you know, it's like, do we bring the consent part of it in there?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Nah, he was fine with it.

[Lydia]

He was fine with it. She was fine with it. I just feel like now I think that we need to be living our lives like the Hind and Bryce.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, to fight?

[Lydia]

Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. I don't. Yeah, it's. I struggle with how to start this episode with everything going on, but we are gonna be silly and. But we're also gonna fight and we're gonna fight and fight, and I hope you guys already fight.

[Lydia]

Fight. The Natalie and Jackie show.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's more like the Lydia and Bryce show, I guess.

[Lydia]

Yeah, it is. And I guess we're bitching down today. Just a couple of bitches having a time. Oh, my God. We would have the cutest Kikis. But here's the thing. It's like, it's gotta be so difficult.

[Natalie Jean]

For the Hind to have Kikis, because.

[Lydia]

You know, we don't know a lot about the Hind at this point in time, but we will find out more about her.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

What we do know. She is a stranger to herself often.

[Lydia]

Oh, my God.

[Natalie Jean]

Just like me.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, no, you are.

[Lydia]

Who am I? Just like the Jackie Chan movie.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Your name's Jackie.

[Lydia]

Who am I?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That's your name.

[Lydia]

That's my name. Except I wouldn't be able to say that anymore.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Cuz you wouldn't know.

[Lydia]

I wouldn't know. And I'd be like, o. But I'm the Hind. And I feel bad for her because it's like, I feel like she hasn't had a really good. Like. I feel like Natalie and I get the opportunity when we go to things like dreamers and readers Festival, which definitely you should be coming and hanging out with us. But, like, we get that opportunity to have an Airbnb together where we're like, oh, let's eat snacks and watch Clueless. But what would Bryce and the Hein.

[Natalie Jean]

Do with their Kiki?

[Lydia]

Like, slice?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay, listen, I'm not feeling bad for them. They get to go to some magical retreat floating in the sky or something. Like, they're gonna go to some place where there's an entire biosystem that's just, like, inside of a mountain somewhere filled with magic, you know, like, oh, I guess.

[Lydia]

Where are the asteri during all of this, Natalie?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Hopefully the.

[Lydia]

Not in my biodome.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Not in my biodome, that's for sure.

[Lydia]

Now I want the hind. It's like, she needs to relax. She needs to be banging. Not just on the brain bridge and not just with Ponx.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Ew, yuck.

[Lydia]

It's so upsetting.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Really is. So we're actually right there with chapter 75. And Ruhn, whose thoughts were with, is processing the scene before him.

[Lydia]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And then his dick is all al dente and he doesn't know what to do with it, and he's like, do I put it back in the boiling water or do I not put it back in the boiling water?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It can't decide. Up or down. Choose one. Can't.

[Lydia]

And it chooses me.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That's not good for anybody.

[Lydia]

No, everybody hates a frowny penis.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And just make a choice. You know, Go make a decision. But the penis won't. Sometimes.

[Lydia]

Yeah, sometimes you have to scream at it. You go soft or hard sometimes. Soft or hard. Pick one. And I hear it always helps.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Well, depending on the person with the penis, it could go either way. Depending on how they like to be spoken to, especially.

[Lydia]

I mean, if it's coming from the hind, I think you're going to take it from this bitch because she is mean, but she is hot.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But some people pay big bucks for that.

[Lydia]

You damn right they do. But I feel bad because all of this stuff is going on and poor Ruhn has to look at, you know, he has fallen in love with Agent Daybright.

[Natalie Jean]

But the hind is so enemy. She's just so fucking.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

What if you found out your secret? What if you found out your secret love with Stephen Miller?

[Lydia]

I think I'd sew my pussy like I'd like to swell. It's fine. I didn't need it. I know I used to be horny, but I don't know. I think I'm Mommy Jackie now, rather than Mother Teresa. But Mommy Jackie has a much better time.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, Yeah. I think I'd be closing shop, that's for sure. I'd be like, well, my body can't make good decisions. Oops. So I'm going to have to take executive authority with my brain and say no more down here.

[Natalie Jean]

No.

[Lydia]

Sometimes you got to rip the love out of your life. It's just easier that way.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So, yeah, we. Where we last left off, they were already in. They were in big, big trouble. They are in torture chambers. Nope. They are in torture chambers and they are trying to figure out everything that's going on. And suddenly Ruhn is faced with the hind and he smells himself on her. So light.

[Natalie Jean]

Yikes. Yeah.

[Lydia]

But also can't Pollux. Or do you think that Pollux just doesn't care?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I think it's so light first off. Also crazy. His scent got on her through their minds.

[Lydia]

Mind fucking. That'll do it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So I guess it must be spewed.

[Lydia]

All over from his mind. Where did the spew come from?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

The mind. See, the mind ejaculation doesn't have the same scent as mind.

[Lydia]

Coming.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Whoa.

[Lydia]

Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He came inside of her mind.

[Lydia]

Oh, my God. It's like when you go in through the ear. Through the ear, but you gotta pull out so you can't come right into their brain. It's not gone.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's from the inside. So it's actually leaking out the ear.

[Lydia]

Oh, God. Imagine what that sounds like. Because I've heard tale that when you have cockroaches in your ears.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, God.

[Lydia]

Hear the gnashing. Gnashing, the gnashing.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Sometimes people have a spider stuck in there. Have you ever watched those videos? I can't handle it.

[Lydia]

But I feel like if someone comes inside your ear, you're going to hear, Let my love open the door. Let my love open the door to you. Remember in the beginning of Something about Mary? No. Look who's talking. Oh, with the sperm. With the sperm.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay. There's a connection. That's a real connection.

[Lydia]

Thank you. Thank you. Are you impressed?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Lydia]

There was a real connection that one time.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That scene is weird if you guys don't know what we're talking about. There's an opening scene in that movie where all of the. You're watching the sperm connect to the egg and they're. They're talking.

[Lydia]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's. Did I want to get in that egg? Whoa. That's a big egg.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Well, sperm stalk like John Travolta because it's John Travolta.

[Lydia]

They're all John Travolta. And that's the problem with having John Travolta come inside of your ears. And then you're just going to be having to listen to that. I'm like Danny Zuko. More like Danny, get out of my head. Hey, Cindy.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Whoa.

[Lydia]

I'm 45 in high school, yo. Don't worry about Kaniki.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Lydia]

He's technically 65 retirement age. But it's kind of nice. You get a lot of coupons.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh man. Pre. All the, you know, digital altering stuff.

[Sponsor Voice]

You.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You really see the age on those high school students back in the Grease film.

[Lydia]

I do wonder with Kanicki. I. I do wonder. They're like, well, he's obviously much, much older, but the pock marks make him younger. Like I feel like. Is that what they're like? Oh, he never had the ability to properly care for probably the many years of torturous acne that he had.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Right.

[Lydia]

But they were like, ah, that's good. That gives him that teen edge of like bad skin.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Puberty. Yeah, puberty.

[Lydia]

He's just.

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[Lydia]

Honestly, it would be rough to go through puberty at 65.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

They would be.

[Lydia]

I mean think that's all. That's what happens in Crescent City. I mean Rune hasn't really. I mean he's gone through some form of puberty.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I'm pretty sure he's very vera. Not me fantasizing about his thing that doesn't exist. It's fine. So.

[Lydia]

But he's. His scent is on another Natalie.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I know and I'm glad for them.

[Lydia]

But I also do.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I would never actually want if you leave my beautiful, wonderful, handsome husband.

[Natalie Jean]

Interesting. I wouldn't me thinks she does.

[Lydia]

No, I don't. Henry, Natalie's leaving you for a character. But even though he's got his scent on somebody else, he's banging on the brain bridge.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay. Sister.

[Lydia]

He's not happy about it. This is what happens when it's sisters in law.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yep. All right. The the chapter. So they are facing off. He can smell himself on the hines body. The harpy however, doesn't seem as shocked at run. And this is right after she has knocked the harpy over. So the harpy is. She seems to not be as surprised as Rune that she may be a double agent. So it does seem as though the hind has come in and attacked the harpy. And the harpy's like I always knew. I always knew what you were doing.

[Lydia]

Throw it down. Throw it down.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And so she's like she calls her a cunt. She's like, you little.

[Lydia]

Not in the fun way.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, you're not being cunty.

[Lydia]

No.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She says she always knew the Hind was full of shit.

[Natalie Jean]

Couldn't be. Bryce and Hunt were frozen with shock. Rune whispered, day, smell me, bitch. Smell me, bitch.

[Lydia]

I'm obviously day.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She looks at him and a voice so unlike the Hinds responds.

[Lydia]

Did she say that night?

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, nine.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Nine. Ruhn can't fully deal with this at the moment because now the harpy and the Hind are facing off. The two engage in a vicious blade fight, both of them filled with seemingly centuries worth of contempt and rage. They've always hated each other, and now they finally get to fight.

[Lydia]

God, being able to man, when you're frenemies. And can you imagine finding out your frenemy actually is a double agent? And you're like, yes. Get to, like, shove all of the protein bars down and like, yeah, you gonna get fat, bitch. You go, I'm a mean girl. The hell out of you now, bitch. And she'd be like, that's fine. I'm gonna be sumptuous. I'm gonna be even sexier the bigger I get.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That's true.

[Lydia]

That's the way. Fight.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. The Hinda briefly gets the upper hand, but the harpy recovers, laughs, and speculates that the Asteri are going to give Lydia to Pollux to, quote, deal with her punishments. Meaning, oh, he's gonna torture her, I guess.

[Natalie Jean]

Pollux, the male who'd a blaring white noise blasted through Ruin's head.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He realizes in that moment it was Pollux who had pulled Agent Day away night after night, who hurt her.

[Natalie Jean]

Pollux will get what's coming to him, too, the Hind said, blocking the attack and spinning on her knees so that she was behind the harpy. The harpy twirled, meeting the blow, but backed a step closer to Ruhn.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

As the two females struggle for control, Lydia glances. These are strong warrior women. They're not doing a cat fight.

[Lydia]

Okay.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Lydia]

But also, I imagine they're gonna be making some kind of guttural sounds. Let it out, ladies.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Like, that's how girls fight.

[Lydia]

Oh, my breath. Oh, there's too big to hit, that is. And Natalie knows, as a stunt woman, she knows she's trained to make those sounds.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

They sometimes seem like that. Some of those guys want you to fight like that in those movies.

[Lydia]

I bet they do.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Lydia]

I bet they were like, couldn't she.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Be more wet or more naked? Which has happened.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Men.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, guys, I'm Sorry. Dealing with traumas from my past. That's fine. No worries.

[Lydia]

We don't have any dramas. What dramas? Why don't you think about. Maybe it's because you're feeling your character right now. Maybe you're so in character we're feeling what they're going through.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Is that why I'm feeling? I'm like I'm being annoying right now.

[Lydia]

Yeah. And that's why I'm gonna take my blades out. Adam, I'm coming. Check. Ready? Ready with my.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That's a girl who knows what a sword sounds like.

[Lydia]

Rink.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Rink. Donk. The sounds of sword. Sword Play. Wow.

[Lydia]

I am. I am trained. What a weapon I am.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yup. Lethal weapon.

[Lydia]

Picture this.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Me, Reese Witherspoon in London, ordering fish.

[Lydia]

And chips so often they might start wrapping me in paper.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I'm traveling with my Wells Fargo Autograph Journey card.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

So I earn rewards wherever I book.

[Lydia]

Travel five times points with with hotels, four times with airlines, three times on restaurants and other travel, and one point on other purchases. Imagine getting rewarded for eating a toad in the hole.

[Natalie Jean]

Wait, what is a toad in a hole?

[Sponsor Voice 2]

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[Lydia]

You got to get in there.

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[Jackie Zabrowski]

So no matter how he feels about the hind, rune is going to help end the Harpy. So as the two females are fighting, Lydia glances at Run, giving him a silent signal. He crouches behind where the harpy inches closer, backing towards him. Unconsciously, the hind calls Harpy a fool and shoves her close enough to Ruhn for him to Grab a hold of her ankle and pull. The harpy flails and collapses to the ground.

[Natalie Jean]

The hind struck swift as cobra.

[Lydia]

Lydia plunged her sword into the top of the harpy's spine, right through her neck. The tip of her blade hit the floor before the harpy's body collided with it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Hell yeah.

[Lydia]

That's awesome.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Hind strikes again and again, not giving her a chance to begin to heal. She takes a blade in one hand, sword in the other, and separates her body from her head. There's no returning for the harpy.

[Natalie Jean]

Ruhn slowly lifted his gaze to the hind. Lydia stood over him, splattered with blood. Every line of the body he'd seen and felt was taught on alert.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Bye, bitch. Bye.

[Lydia]

Yeah.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Oh.

[Sponsor Voice]

What?

[Lydia]

Harpy?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yes.

[Lydia]

Take your blades with you, bitch. Although I would definitely pocket those blades. I mean, you don't want the blades to go to waste, and I bet they're pretty good.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, take the blades.

[Lydia]

But it is really, really cool to shove a sword through somebody's neck and then cut off their head.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Lydia]

Especially after so many, many centuries of wanting to do it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, for sure. Especially it's so sharp. It goes all the way through and then hits the floor before the body.

[Lydia]

That's cool.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Lydia]

So let the bodies hit the floor. Maybe it was written about them.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I hope so. And that is a very hot fight scene. I want to see it on film. Yeah.

[Lydia]

And even my hair's still up. Can murder keep her hair up? Now that's a clip you can be supported by.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Man, I want to shoot this, this scene. I would like to do this scene on film. Maybe I should.

[Lydia]

You trying to fight me? Because I'll fight you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Whoa.

[Lydia]

I think that you'd be a lot better at it, but I'd really.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Like. I hear the swords coming.

[Lydia]

That's when you know they're getting really, really hot.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

The room is silent for a moment. Then Bryce and Hunt are trying to process what they've just watched. They're like, what? Just. What is ha. What? Huh?

[Lydia]

Lydia, they don't even really know. I mean, they certainly don't know he was stupid on the brain bridge. Like, I, I. Because he hasn't talked about any of this, really.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He did. He did a little bit. That's why they're. They're trying to save day. Because they didn't know who we.

[Lydia]

I mean, right?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

They didn't know who it was. And they knew Hun had started, quote, dating her in his mind, but it was actually, she was actually there. And they're like, okay, Ruhn, she was in your mind and you guys are dating. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

You're in love with her. Sure.

[Lydia]

Yeah. But she lives really far away.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Lydia]

Oh, yeah. But it's never a convenient time. She can't FaceTime with you ever. But she can text at any time.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And you can have sex via text, sort of other plane of. Okay.

[Lydia]

Yeah, but is that beautiful? Maybe I've just watched a couple of too many episodes of 90 Day Fiance. But usually if they will never turn on the camera, it's never a good sign.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, man.

[Lydia]

There's just throwing that out there.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

There's a lot of, like, randomly. A few separate gay, gay gentlemen who are very handsome and put together have been.

[Lydia]

Tell me more.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Photos taken by SC scammers and used over and over and over again as bait. Because, like, you know, kind of like Romeoing like, older, alone women with these men's photos. And they have to keep being like, I am a homosexual man. I am not messaging you guys. Please. This is me. Like, don't. And just, you know, people want to believe what they want to believe sometimes, and I get it. So is Rune getting catfished right now? Potentially.

[Lydia]

Am I secretly a Nigerian prince?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Maybe? So they're all trying to wrap their minds around what's happening. Lydia can't stop to explain. She begins to unlock all of their chains, tells them they have no time and they must move immediately. What? Rune has enough of a thought to remember. She told him that she wouldn't come save him if they were caught. In their last conversation, she said, you can't go there. You will die, and I cannot interfere to save you. But she did.

[Lydia]

Oh, my God. Does that mean she, like, likes me too?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It does. Well, Rune's not sure if he, like, likes her anymore because. Ew. The hind.

[Lydia]

Why? Because I torture for many, many, many generations. Like, give me a break.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She's got a lot going on in her life right now. Okay?

[Lydia]

Yeah, it's like. It's almost like a person's not allowed.

[Natalie Jean]

To have a past.

[Lydia]

Maybe it's my current future, my present and future. But that's fine.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You don't know my. You don't know my story. Bryce demands to know if this was a trap. And when the hind responds, the voice out of her that is unlike any Ruhn had heard before comes out of the hind. So it's that voice that's not the hind's voice. Except he had heard it. He heard this voice on the brain bridge.

[Lydia]

Oh, hello. Run. Oh. Didn't know I talk like this, did You.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Well, if she was talking like that in the brain bridge, I guess he would know.

[Lydia]

Yeah, that's true. Or if it's like that's just how she talks in her head and then it's like. But she maybe lets it come out a little bit. And isn't it kind of nice to see the real her, the real voice? Yeah, just to let her drop into her proper register.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And we see that a lot with ex Mormon women. They come out and they. Their voices kind of drop and they used to talk.

[Lydia]

Finally I can be myself. I'm so glad I don't have sister wives anymore. All those girl brothers sides that he had. Oh.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, man. I say, look for how they want.

[Lydia]

Yeah, man, good for them.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

As she moves, she explains. So she's pulling them off the chain. She's like, we have to move now. You have to come with me. She explains, kind of detached that the last time she was with Run in the Mind Space, because now they're kind of establishing, okay, this is me. This is who you were talking to. She had guessed that Rigelus had been setting them up and that was why she had tried to warn Ruhn not to come. And he's like, wow, too little, too late. She didn't tell him more, she says, because it would have given her away. So there's this coldness to her still in a way, but like understandable in a sense as well. She can't fully let go of this facade that is so tightly been held.

[Lydia]

Yeah, she's been a spy for a while.

[Natalie Jean]

So this is.

[Lydia]

And like also after a really long time of being a really bad person. So there's a lot, you know, there's a lot happening. It's already hard enough to trust a regular human that lives an amount of human years. But think about any entity that lives for so long and how much trauma they've had and how many times they've also changed as a person.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Although I will say Lydia is 47 years old.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Lydia]

And I'm looking great, bitch. Yeah, you are.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You're slaying.

[Lydia]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. So not a Botox in sight. But that's why I've got bangs.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Bangs are the Botox of the head.

[Natalie Jean]

She was so beautiful and utterly soulless.

[Lydia]

Don't worry, I've got a soul in here.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Make us utterly soulless. Beautiful face, though. That's not it. No.

[Lydia]

My problem is, I don't know.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Making a poopy.

[Lydia]

I'm not making a poopy, Natalie. I'm Not. Oh, no, I did. Can we get a clean up on aisle? Jackie, get one of the employees to.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Clean up your bum. Yeah, that's what we do.

[Lydia]

Come on. Come on, Adam. Cleaning up. I made a mess. It went through the mesh of the chair. It's on all over the wheels. It's all over the wheels. Oh, it's getting in the carpet. I can't stop.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, someone get that clown in here who's always on all the shows.

[Lydia]

Yeah, get that it in here so that it can clean it up.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Why am I forgetting the clown?

[Lydia]

Dear Zo.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, somebody get tearso in here.

[Lydia]

We can't tears those. Not a cleaner. But they're a poop supporter.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay, whatever that means.

[Lydia]

I mean, I'm scared of tears, though. I know, I know. I. I know. If Tierzo's a poop supporter, keep me away from him.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Physically or emotionally? Both. Okay. Bryce screams that she has killed Sophie. So she's like, lydia's trying to explain where she's coming from, and Bryce is like, you murder people. You killed Sophie. And we saw that happen all the way back at the beginning of the book. But the hind insists that she didn't kill her. Don't remember it. Excuse me? That she had called the depth charger to come rescue her. What?

[Lydia]

Remember when you didn't know where the depth charger was coming from?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, yeah, remember? Remember when it saved your life before? Interesting.

[Natalie Jean]

Interesting.

[Lydia]

Get your facts straight. I'm evil, but I'm not that level of evil. Sorry, what?

[Natalie Jean]

Athelar blurted. Rune blinked as the hind pulled a white stone from her pocket.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

These are calling stones.

[Natalie Jean]

Beacons.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

The ocean Queen enchanted them. They'll summon whatever city ship is closest.

[Natalie Jean]

When dropped into the water.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Her mystic sense when the ships might.

[Natalie Jean]

Be needed in a certain area. And the stones are used as a precision, precise method of location.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, that's what she did the day they exploded the mech suits on Opion Island.

[Lydia]

Calling stone.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You'll recall when she came out on the wave skimmer thing to confront them, she dropped that stone and they were like, what is this dum dum doing over here? Whatever. And then shortly after, that's a show up. Mm. So that's what she did that day with Sophie way back at the beginning of the book.

[Lydia]

You're like, girl, you're really good. I'm talking to the hind right now. You're really good at helping, even though you seem like you're not helping. And I guess that's what makes a good spy.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I guess. This is growing up oh. Rune, however, is not moved. He shouts that she is the reason Sophie drowned. And to an extent, he's not wrong. She was portraying herself as this villain character and she had to make it seem real. And so she had to push her off the boat. But she tried to save her, even though it didn't work. So the hind looks at him. Even through the urgency of time, she looks at him gently. There is so much to tell you.

[Natalie Jean]

Ruhn, she said softly, and his name on her tongue. But Ruhn looked away from her. He could have sworn the hind flinched.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Not the time to battle this out, guys. We got stuff to go on. There's no argument right now.

[Lydia]

Like, what if they both go and die? But what if they both go and die?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

They are gonna die if they don't keep moving. And then footsteps approach. Pollux, Lydia tells them. By this time, the three of them are all unchained. And they hear Pollux and others perhaps walking towards the room. Panicked, the hind tells them that they need to make this scene look real because the. The harpy is, remember, decapitated on the ground in this room right now.

[Natalie Jean]

Cool.

[Lydia]

So they gotta make it look. It's like, I couldn't have done it right, me.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She says, you need to make this look real. And to follow her lead. Bryce smiles and says she shouldn't enjoy this so much. And before the hind can move, she hauls back and punches the hind square in the face.

[Lydia]

BB oh, yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It had to look real.

[Natalie Jean]

I'm sorry.

[Lydia]

Oh, it had to look real.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Lydia]

Oh, yes. You had to punch so hard. You had to make. Oh, you're just. See, this is sisters in law. Natalie. It's sad that we've never gotten into a physical fight.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Is it sad?

[Lydia]

I think that Maybe. Maybe your 10th anniversary. Your 10th wedding anniversary.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

10Th wedding anniversary.

[Lydia]

Instead of you guys celebrating, we get into Sissy Punch. And we call it the Sissy Punch. The Sissy Punch Abration. And then everybody gets to come and then they get to watch the sissy bunch of bration.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I'm sure Henry would love that.

[Lydia]

And it would just. But it would.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He would love his vacation time interrupted by.

[Lydia]

What if we do it for content?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Well, yes, that's what I mean. He's always like, I don't want to take a break. Can we please record every second of our lives? I don't want to go on a vacation if nobody knows about it.

[Lydia]

Right. And so instead he can help us both go through our training montages. And we'll both get trained. Even though you're already trained and I know nothing and I'm kind of just.

[Natalie Jean]

Like a big cup of pudding.

[Lydia]

But maybe they can fashion that pudding into some sort of punching machine.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And then what?

[Lydia]

Well, you're gonna get pudding all over you, but that is definitely the least.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

What happens after the fight?

[Lydia]

Oh, we like. Then we get to go on vacation.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay, so we'll go to a water park.

[Natalie Jean]

You love water parks.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Okay, well, I. If this is what your heart desires.

[Lydia]

I mean, I don't really want to go to the water park, but if that's where you need to go after a sissy punch abration, I support you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Wow. This. I can't wait. So many things to look forward to in this life. So the hind. The hind takes this punch.

[Lydia]

Excited about it? Natalie, I.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You know what? Let's try it. I don't know what else to do in this world.

[Lydia]

Yay.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Let's give it a shot. Maybe it'll heal everything.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Lydia]

Wreck your team with every tap and.

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[Sponsor Voice]

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[Lydia]

Choose a meal deal with McValue. The $5 McChicken meal deal, a $6 McDouble meal deal, or the new $7 Daily Double meal deal, each with its own small fries, drink and Four Piece McN.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

There's actually no rush.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

I'm just excited for McDonald's for a limited time only. Person participation may vary. Not Valder make delivery.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So the hind takes the punch. And then she pounces on the hind.

[Lydia]

Come at me. Sissy punch abrasion bitch.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And begins to thrash her just as Pollux makes his way into the room. Ruhn sees the hind whisper something in Bryce's ear. And then Pollux is grabbing Bryce off of her, lifting her up by her neck, grinning with delight. So he's walked into what seems to be a scene where the three of them have escaped their shackles, somehow have killed the hind and are about to kill. I'm sorry, have killed the harpy and are about to kill the hind. And so we cut over to Hunt's POV at that moment. And he is fighting back rage at seeing Pollock's hands on Bryce, lifting her up in that way, the hind plays her part. She pulls up the harpy sword and aims it at Rune. Commands he step away or they're going to kill Bryce. Her voice returns to the one that we know as the hind.

[Lydia]

The sexier regular one.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, the sexy regular one. Hun can't believe what has just occurred. The hind is a double agent.

[Natalie Jean]

How long?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He looks at Rune, who appears to have had his whole world kicked out from under him. He knows that Bryce needs to make it out of here for more than his love for her. She has the information that she learned in the room that about dust Truth. So this information that she has has not been able to have been transferred yet. And he, even though he loves her and needs her to stay alive for that, he knows that it is important to the entire planet that she must not die right now.

[Natalie Jean]

The next few minutes were a blur. Guards flowed in. Hunt found himself being hauled to his feet. Bryce chained beside him. Ruhn on her other side. The hind stalking next to Pollux as they walked from the dungeons to an elevator bay.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

The hind has returned to her normal state. So. Well, he wonders if the last few minutes were some kind of fever dream.

[Lydia]

Because he really is not into the voice.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But like Hunt.

[Lydia]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's really. I think he's mostly scared of the voice.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He's like, please, can we just have the scary woman back within the sexy voice.

[Lydia]

We'd rather that.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

We all would rather women be sexy than.

[Lydia]

And mean. I feel like it's like you can't be. You can't be mean and ugly. I mean, gotta choose. You have to choose.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

As they walk, he reaches for Bryce's hand. Both of them reshackled. As he takes it though, he realizes with a jolt that her manacles are unlocked. The hind had only mimed closing them up.

[Natalie Jean]

Was the hind planning something? Had she whispered a plan in Bryce's ear? Bryce said nothing, just held his hand for the last time. He realized as the elevator shot up through the Crystal palace, he was holding his mate's hand for the last time.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, no, no.

[Lydia]

No.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It's sad. This is that we cut to Ruhn, who is able to make it work in his mind that the hind is the female that he fell in love with. She begins reaching out to his mind. He's calling. She's calling to him via his mind powers. Night Night, please respond. He ignores her. So she's like very stoic and cold on the outside. But she's screaming in his mind and he is just not having it. Her voice turns pleading as they stand silently in the elevator together with the others.

[Natalie Jean]

Ruhn ignored the begging voice, the way it broke as she said Ruhn he fortified the walls of his mind brick by brick.

[Lydia]

Run.

[Natalie Jean]

Lydia banged on the walls of his mind.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No.

[Lydia]

Why he has to. It's too much Natalie. You even think about it. It's like it's hard enough to compartment compartmentalized to come into this room to be funny while we have on silly costumes.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I know.

[Lydia]

And imagine this is too much while all of this is going on. It's too much. He needs to cut her out. He can't. He can't take it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Pollock sees Ruhn looking at Lydia's form and grins. He grabs her throat and licks it, taunts him and suggests that maybe they'll put a show on for him later. What the I'm gonna have sex with my girlfriend in front of you.

[Lydia]

Yeah you torture ass person.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Rage flows through Ruhn even as he wants nothing more than to get away from the hind his mind is almost ripping into. He wants to kill Pollux for hurting the hind, but yet he hates the hind. Which one doesn't know.

[Lydia]

Oh God.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Seeing her try to hide the pain as Pollux digs into her neck makes him see red and yet he hates her.

[Natalie Jean]

And yet she's so beautiful and yet.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He wants to kiss her. Yet he hates her. Oh he watches her smile serenely even as her voice screams and bangs on the brick wall of his mind. He doesn't think that he can rectify his feelings with the murderous being before him. Bryce's thoughts as they walk the hall towards the Asteri are resigned. We cut over to her. There is no way out now. There are no heroes coming in to swoop in and save them. Rigel told her so because they know she's not getting out of there. So essentially the reason that Rigel has informed of all of what we have learned about the history in the past and what the hysteria actually are is because Rus is not planning to ever let her leave so he can just his villains plan. She thinks of her mom and dad, her real dad, not the stupid Autumn King. She wishes that she had given them a proper goodbye.

[Lydia]

Don't worry, you sent them a child instead.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah that is not named Connor. No I'm sorry everyone.

[Lydia]

And also it but it also to be fair when you're reading it makes sense because it's the same shape as Cooper.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It is.

[Lydia]

You know, it's like the same.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

The word.

[Lydia]

The word shape is the same. Yeah, but it makes a lot of sense that they would name him Connor.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

It just. It does make me wonder where the name Cooper comes from. Why she chose Cooper.

[Lydia]

It's Mad Men, I guess. Maybe she's. Maybe it was. She's a Mad Men fan. Other than that, I don't know.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She mourns the life that she might have had with Hunt, that she never got closure with Juniper. She knows that even if she had tried to live a normal life with Hunt, they would have come after her forever. Both of them. Their children wouldn't have been safe. The world wouldn't be safe with these parasites. But her part is over now. She has to hope that the others will carry it on.

[Natalie Jean]

Cormac would continue to fight. Maybe Tharion and Hypaxia and Ethan would pick up the cause. Perhaps Fury too.

[Lydia]

I don't think Cormac's gonna be doing it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But she doesn't know.

[Lydia]

No. She's too busy fighting her own battles.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She wonders what Jesiba knows, because that knows something. She's got some. Some information, obviously. As they turn a corner, she's surprised to see a quartz gate inside the building. So much like the ones in Lunathian.

[Natalie Jean]

Bryce's blood chilled. Did Rigelis plan to have her open it as some sort of test before cracking wide the rifts?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She knows that she will do anything that they ask to protect Ruhn and Hunt.

[Lydia]

It's always man. It's like down to these motions. Like we were talking about this with another book that I've been reading that there's just something about someone that's like, I would choose you over saving the world. Like my love for you, I choose over. Surprisingly not talking about Greenland. I'm talking about a book that I'm trying to. I don't want to ruin for other people. That has nothing to do with the SJM world. So it was such a big ick for me of like, I'll do. Fuck the rest of world. I'll do anything for you. No, I'm sorry. That's beautiful. It's a beautiful sentiment. But if we are all in the, like in the business of saving the world, don't fucking save me and let the fucking world end.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Also, if you say, if you're letting the world collapse, what's the point of saving me?

[Natalie Jean]

The love?

[Lydia]

Because then we're just gonna die together. Like, is that. Is that. Is that the most romantic Thing to you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

What if you do that and then that person breaks up with you?

[Lydia]

Oh, yeah. Being like, oh, that was actually. Yeah. Like. Because that's the ick. And then be like, sorry, I know there's nobody else around, but I'm gonna go to the other side of the world and be by myself.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Self.

[Lydia]

Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You can have this hemisphere. However that is how she feels in the moment. I think she means in the sense that she will. She will do, like, sacri. Sacrifice herself, essentially, to protect them. And then they walk around another turn, and it's the thrones. The thrones that tend to be filled with six aary and one empty one.

[Natalie Jean]

It's a whole lot in one space.

[Lydia]

You know, they've got this whole palace. You'd think they'd have a different room for it, but, you know, that's okay.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

But they have to have the tubes. The butt tubes.

[Lydia]

They gotta have butt tubes, and they gotta make sure that you can't extend those butt tubes.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You don't want them to be all labyrinthine through the building.

[Lydia]

No, you want direct, straight up. Straight up assess. Yeah, yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So she.

[Lydia]

She watches sound. Sorry.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She feels rage as she watches one of the thrones fill with first light.

[Natalie Jean]

No doubt from below, something feral opened an eye in Bryce's soul and snarled.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I suppose you're pleased to have added yet another angel to your kid list. With the death of the hoppy, the.

[Natalie Jean]

Bright hand of the asteri drawled to Bryce, stares sweeping over the blood caked on her.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I do hope you're ready to pay for it.

[Lydia]

She's like, oh, they all have that voice. Is that just what they all actually sound like?

[Natalie Jean]

That I'm not.

[Lydia]

Oh, yeah. Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Oh, no, I meant that it sounded similar to my real voice as the harpy. Yeah, I just thought that.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No, it's different.

[Lydia]

It's different. It is different.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

We're with hunt at chapter 76 as he stares in shock at Shahar's wings in front of him. They are mounted next to hundreds of other wings behind the asterisk thrones. And while that's cruel, I love the aesthetic.

[Natalie Jean]

I mean, I.

[Lydia]

It's pretty rock and roll. Like, that.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Sounds fun.

[Lydia]

Pretty cool.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Apparently, the Asteri keep all of the rebel angels wings as tokens and as warnings to anyone else who might not comply.

[Lydia]

Yeah, and this isn't our special but room. So if you're in this room, you better know we're evil and we're taking it up the ass. Just like the icy Taking it up. Taking it up.

[Natalie Jean]

Oh, I can't.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Never mind.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, no, I shouldn't. I got. Shut up, Natalie. So Bryce, of course, is being Bryce, and she acts flippantly and tells Rigelous that you're welcome for me killing the harpy. She sucked. So glad that she's gone now.

[Lydia]

Thank God. Bryce's you know, sardonic attitude, that'll. That. That sarcasm is gonna take her to the end.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I guess sometimes it works. Hunt looks over at her and realize that as she's speaking through that tone of hers, she's actually filled with a renewed rage and likely has spotted Hunt's own wings tacked to that wall as well. Rigelous lazily requests that they begin to reveal their allies, the statement laced with threats of torture.

[Lydia]

You're already gonna torture her? Like, at this point?

[Natalie Jean]

Yeah.

[Lydia]

Why would I tell you anything else?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No. Hunt turns to see Baxian being shoved into the room as well, and realizes with dismay that the Asteri have not only been following all of their moves, they orchestrated many of them. Oh, so, like, everything happened, it was all the hysteria just kind of leading him to this point.

[Lydia]

Oh, I thought I was smart now.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh. He wonders if Baxian is actually a double double agent and is a part of the Asteris plot. Is vaccine a good or a bad? We don't know. Bryce brushes off the threat of torture and says, nat, let's talk about what you're doing under your thrones right now. You know what I'm saying? Coming up.

[Lydia]

Coming up. Your button.

[Natalie Jean]

Rigela snorted.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Is this your way of telling your companions what you know?

[Natalie Jean]

Bryce didn't avert her gaze.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Hell yeah, it is. Along with the fact that if we destroy that core of First Light. Beneath the palace, silence.

[Natalie Jean]

Rodulous hissed, and the room shuddered with power.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So she is trying to sort of give a reveal to the people who are here in case she doesn't make it out. Haunt and the others in the room are receiving this information for the first time, and Hunt is trying to process, take all of this in. Rigelus begins to taunt them and reveals then that Cormac is dead. He, of course, knew what Cormac was up to, but figured he would be a useful pawn in his drive to kill the rebels. I don't know if I believe Rigel snew what Cormac was up to, but he's, like, playing it off. Like, yeah, I knew he was gonna get in the lab, and I just thought, well, we'll all kill each other. And who cares.

[Lydia]

He's just being a mean girl. They're all being such mean girls.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I can't tell if he actually planned that or not.

[Lydia]

Like, I don't think he did.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I don't either. But they're now hearing about Cormac's death.

[Lydia]

It's also really easy to be like, oh, yeah, that thing that happened. Yeah, I did that. Yeah.

[Natalie Jean]

Meant for that.

[Lydia]

And like, I did that.

[Sponsor Voice]

So.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And I think it's cool that the. The light goes into my butthole.

[Lydia]

Yeah. And that it's.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I think it's fun and masculine.

[Lydia]

You're. You're jealous.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

You're just jealous of my lamp.

[Lydia]

My light pipe.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So he gives them a rundown, whether or not they believe him. He starts to do his villains monologue at us. Boy. He gives them a rundown of what's happened in the lab and notes that's where his brothers and sisters are now, which is why they're not in the throne room with him. Him. He muses over whether he should call Ruhn's father up to administer Rune's punishments if they don't want to talk. In essence, using Bryce's protectiveness over others to twist her hand and make her upset as he mocks Ruhn for hiding all of his scars from daddy with tattoos. Hunt can feel Bryce's rage reaching a boiling point.

[Natalie Jean]

Run Looked at his sister and said softly, you brought so much joy into my life, Bryce. It was perhaps the only goodbye they'd be able to make. Hunt reached for Bryce's fingers, but she stepped forward.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She tells Rigelis that she'll help them open a portal if they promise through a bargain to never harm her loved ones ever in the future. Fairy bargains do have meaning, but I don't know if the Asteri care.

[Natalie Jean]

I don't.

[Lydia]

I don't think that it's the. Like, I feel like he's in a starry. And I feel like the Fae bargain. And I. I understand it's like, it's like, but I. But I could be tricksy and I'm a tricksy girl.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I think that they are already using this as a plan that they have already half formulated. That they're like, yes, I'll help you. Promise you won't hurt them.

[Lydia]

Because Rigelous is being all, yeah, I planned that. And then I planned that. But then Bryce is also secret. Like, but then I also plan that. But I also plan that. And they're just really trying to out mean girl each other right now.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah. So it dawns on Hunt in the moment that they had planned all of this out, all of the Asteri planned this out in order to get Bryce here in this moment with her closest allies and loves to use them as bait to convince her to do what they need from her, which is, you know, she. They need her alive. They need her back. Horn. They need all this stuff. They can't just. Just, like, cut it out of her because it won't work anymore. And so they have to kind of play with her by her rules a little bit.

[Lydia]

They need her to do it. Not only they need her to do it, they need her to do it consensually.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Her mind has to choose it. Rigela smiles and offers the reveal that it wasn't Aidas that night in her apartment who came to visit her, but himself.

[Lydia]

God, I gotta stop trusting these figures that keep showing up.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Who is everyone?

[Lydia]

Who am I to use Chan.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, God, no.

[Lydia]

Jackie Chan.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah, I know.

[Lydia]

He's bad. He was Bad daddy. Bad Daddy. Good flipper, though.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh, my God. He's the best flipper. He's honestly one of the best martial artists actors of the entire history of film.

[Lydia]

Bad Daddy.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Bad Daddy. It was him. It was. Rigel is not atis urging them forward on this journey often. He needed to convince her to get herself to the palace to set up the structure so that there would be no nationwide statewide uproar for them taking a princess captive. It had to look like she did it herself. He even went so far as to push Aidas's emotions towards Thea to unintentionally bring him into Rigelus's scheme. So he's even manipulating the princes of Hell. Rigelus notes the poetic irony. And there being the capture of a starborn queen once again, just like the.

[Natalie Jean]

Last time, Hunt mastered himself enough to nod toward the seventh always empty throne.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Hell got one on you. In the end, though, I think Riley just goes, I don't care. No matter. I look forward to seeing the princess once again to take out my vengeance.

[Lydia]

Oh, you're so evil.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Not the princess. The princess.

[Natalie Jean]

Princes. Princes.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

The other princes of hell. To take out my vinjens. Hunt throws out.

[Lydia]

That's not how you say it. I don't think that's how you say the word.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Like Hunt, Are you sure?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Jeans.

[Lydia]

Wait, no, maybe that is right. Maybe you're right. Sorry. I apologize. I can. I'll punch, though. I can hit hard.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Hunt throws out one more Hail Mary and it's like, nah, actually, you're wrong. We're not even rebels. You're Stupid. Go ask Celestina. She'll tell you. Then Rigel's like, laughs and goes, excuse me, the archangel who reported that you lied about going to visit Ms. Quinlan's family a few weeks ago.

[Lydia]

Oh, no.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And then reported to me immediately when she saw you leave the barracks heavily armed. That Celestina. No.

[Lydia]

But he's all like, I got shit on you, though. But wait, I got shit on you.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

So it turns out Celestina knew what was going on you. That's some cold ass. After they kept for you her secret for her, and yes, everything. But Hunt remembers in that moment Celestina's words to him.

[Natalie Jean]

Love trap.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He thinks that maybe she did this to keep Hypaxia safe. But I don't even know Hypaxi that well, but I know her enough to know that she would be enraged at this action. Like, do you even know your bitch, Bitch?

[Lydia]

No, because they're in the honeymoon phase. And so she's in this phase of like, yeah, I'll give up all these other people. I mean, I want to keep banging this bitch.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

And Hypaxi be like, hell, no, you're not.

[Lydia]

No, no.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Out, out. Get out of my chambers. You're not giving them up.

[Lydia]

Or who knows? Maybe.

[Natalie Jean]

Or.

[Lydia]

Or would she?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

I think Hypaxi is more noble than that.

[Natalie Jean]

I do think so too.

[Lydia]

I fucking love I fuck with hypaxia.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Rigela seems to also know about Hypaxia because he reminds Hunt that while Celestina might have liked and been friends with Shahar back in the day, ultimately she's just a selfish archangel who wants to protect her own neck.

[Natalie Jean]

Aren't they all?

[Lydia]

I mean, honestly, why would you have that much power in the first place? It's probably so you can do whatever you want. I bet Celestina really didn't like anybody knowing her secret and having any kind of hold over her. So of course she's gonna get rid of them.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Yeah.

[Lydia]

Or at least do something to get rid of them.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Hunt asks if this is all to get revenge on Hell. And Rio, jealous is like, no, honey, we have to eat your tasty ass.

[Natalie Jean]

Up our ass.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Up our butts. You're so delicious. And he adds, there are many worlds that the Starry have to seek vengeance over before they even get to Hell. Alluding to a long, tumultuous history. Maybe places that had eradicated more of their kind or something. There's, like, they have effed with a lot of planets and they're like, yeah, hell's, like whatever, like we'll get to hell. He begins.

[Lydia]

I mean it's not going anywhere, you know.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

No. He begins to wax about Bryce's star, explaining that it is a relic of her home world and acknowledges when an ancient feline is near to it, like Cormac or a soul bound companion like Hunt, it glows. He wants her star to lead them back to the fae world to exact revenge and then to dine on the rich veins of magic there. Bryce, though shaking, tells them she will help them if they uphold her bargain of leaving the others unharmed. Hunt knows enough of her that there will be nothing he can do to stop her from this.

[Natalie Jean]

Bryce turned to Hunt and the terror and pain and grief on her gore splattered face threatened to bring him to his knees. He slipped his chained hands around her head, pulling her close, whispered in her ear. Her fingers bunched in his shirt as if in silent confirmation. So Hunt pulled back, stared into his mate's beautiful face for the last time.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

He tells her he loves her.

[Natalie Jean]

His lips brushed her brow. Our love is stronger than time, greater than any distance Our love spans across stars and worlds. I will find you again, I promise.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

That makes me think of the Bram Stoker's Dracula line.

[Lydia]

I've crossed oceans of time divine.

[Natalie Jean]

I have crossed oceans of time to find you.

[Lydia]

It's hot and I love Hunt and I don't want him to be sad. But the problem is, oh baby, you want me to fall more in love with a character. Make him more of a sad boy.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Don't.

[Lydia]

Don't make him more of a sad boy.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Oh yeah.

[Lydia]

Our love is stronger than time, greater than any distance our love spans and girls, stars and worlds. I'll find you again. I promise I will find you again. Oh God.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Tears fall down her face as he kisses her and then steps away. We cut over to Bryce and she feels her soul cracking. She can't imagine doing what she is about to do, what Hunt had whispered to her. She faces Roon and embraces him. He hugs her tightly as he whispers a secret to her will also really.

[Lydia]

I feel like this is really kind of nice of Rigel is to let all the hugging happen and let the secrets happen. I know that he can't like hear this but it is funny. Like in a room where I feel like he's in a series he probably could hear all of it but like maybe he can't hear it that they're like whispering in front of him and saying goodbye.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Maybe they like whisper like.

[Natalie Jean]

I see. I think they.

[Lydia]

Oh, they're just having. Oh, it's familial growling time. Oh, like Carmi. Oh, God. Carby can't be tortured. She can't withstand it.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She would give me up so fast.

[Lydia]

So fast.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She's. She's accustomed to a certain lifestyle now. So, yeah, I think it's you. You could argue. Oh, it's because he needs her to. He doesn't want to have to force her to help him. So she's like, here's your little Huggies. And he doesn't. He's underestimating her. So Ruhn whispers something to her, and it is that he lied about his oracle reading to her this whole time. She listens as he explains about the royal line ending with him. But he goes on that he thinks the oracle couldn't see Bryce and that she needs to stay alive. She needs to be queen. She pushes back, but he won't hear it. Bryce thinks of how she would make the Autumn King pay for hurting Ruhn. So whatever they have planned, she seems to think she'll be alive to do it. Ruhn goes into her mind and tells her to take the Star Sword. She reveals that the Hind had given her the shackles key and she had also undone hunts as they embrace, mind to mind.

[Natalie Jean]

Ruin pressed his brow against hers. We need armies, Bryce. We need you to go to hell through that gate and bring Hell's armies back with you to fight these bastards. But if Apollyon's cost is too high, don't come back to this world. Her brother pulled away and Ruhn said, shining with pride.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Long live the queen.

[Natalie Jean]

Bryce didn't give the others a chance to puzzle it out. She flicked her wrists, chains falling to.

[Lydia]

The floor as she grabbed the Star Sword from Ruhn and whirled toward Rigelus.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Badass. She burrows down to the bottom of her power and blasts it towards Rigelus in an instant. Cut back to Hunt, who has received instructions from Ruhn, also on the word queen. He drops his shackles and uses his power towards Rigelus. They knew it was a risk, but they needed to take it. Not powering up Bryce in that moment in time, mayhem breaks out. Baxian attacks Pollux, who is there guarding them. And Hunt sees Mordoc on the ground with his throat slit. He sees the Hind on the floor and is not sure who is on what team, but there isn't time to consider. He sees Bryce running out the doorway, but in the next second, Rigelus has slammed Hunt back into the wall with his power. And Rigelus Takes off after Bryce. Bryce is running down the hall, her heart breaking at what comes next if all goes accordingly. She sees Rigelis behind her and silently pleads for Hunt to appear behind him. The arch that they had spotted earlier, the one that looks so much like the city gates of Lunatheon, is around the bend where she runs towards the arch in front of them, begins to glow and hum. She has to open the gate to hell and. And she needs Hunt to power her through it.

[Natalie Jean]

Rigelus was 10ft behind, five, his hands stretched for her trailing hair. Lightning speared down the hall, shattering windows.

[Lydia]

And statues in its wake.

[Natalie Jean]

Price welcomed it into her heart, her back, welcomed it into the tattoo there.

[Lydia]

As her pussy and her crack. Natalie welcomed it into the tattoo there as Hunt's power singed her very blood and left it sparking.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She feels Rigelus making contact with her hair as she descends upon the swirling blackness awoken between the arch posts. She uses Hunt's lightning to teleport her to the arch, only to find herself mere feet ahead of where she was before. She immediately understands this must be due to the wards placed under the palace. Rigel is still. Screams as though he's shocked that she was able to teleport at all and escape the grasp of his hand. Rigela shoots his power towards Bryce and repeatedly she leapfrogs through the wards, gaining space towards the portal. She fakes him out and lands behind him, blasting him with her starlight, and when he turns, blinds him temporarily. The hallway lays in ruins from his attacks and she hops once again towards the arches.

[Natalie Jean]

Rigelus roared as Bryce jumped into the awaiting darkness. It caught her, sticky like a web. Time slowed to a glacial drip.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

She hears Rigela scream somewhere far away as she sucked into the wormhole.

[Natalie Jean]

She fell slowly and without end and sideways. Not a plunge down, but a yank across. The pressure in her ears threatened to pulp her brain and she was screaming into wind and stars and emptiness, screaming.

[Lydia]

To hunt and ruin left behind in that crystal palace. Screaming. Where'd she go?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Uh oh. Guys, where the f did she just go? It seems as though they had made this secret plan that they were gonna try to get her to hell and raise their armies, bring them back and fight the Asteri.

[Lydia]

But what happens when that ain't go to hell?

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Maybe she did, maybe she didn't. We'll have to find out next week.

[Lydia]

Please read until the end of the book for next week.

[Jackie Zabrowski]

Ra.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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