Podcast
Mentoring IRL
Hosted by Mentoring IRL · EN
Discover how transformative mentoring relationships are built from both sides of the table. Whether you're looking to guide others or accelerate your own growth, this podcast reveals the art and science behind meaningful mentorship. Each episode combines actionable strategies with compelling real-world stories, showing you how to navigate difficult conversations, set clear expectations, and create lasting professional relationships that benefit everyone involved. From first-time mentors learning to give effective feedback to ambitious mentees maximizing every interaction, we explore what separates good mentoring from great mentoring—and how both parties can thrive in the process.
19episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Ep #35 - Using Personality Assessments to Mentor Better Leaders
1w ago00:31:18Tap to summarizeContact Us: mentoringirl@gmail.comSummaryAngela and Bill explore how personality and behavioral assessments (like DISC, Myers-Briggs, Hogan, the Big Five, and CliftonStrengths) can help mentors guide their mentees toward becoming more self-aware and effective leaders. They share personal stories of how these tools revealed their own blind spots, Bill's tendency to be perceived as "mad" when he's just passionate, and Angela's resting expression not matching her actual focus, and how adjusting behavior based on that insight changed how their teams received them. The key takeaway: personality assessments aren't meant to predict success or gatekeep promotions. They're conversation starters. Used well, they give mentors and mentees a shared vocabulary to discuss tendencies, adjust behavior, and build stronger, more self-aware teams.In This EpisodeDefining personality/behavioral assessments and why Angela and Bill care about their practical value over scientific debateHow assessments support self-awareness as leaders scale from individual contributors to managing larger teamsHow understanding personality differences helps leaders adapt feedback style, one-on-one formats, and how they draw out quieter voicesHow assessments build complementary leadership teams and improve cross-team communicationThe limitations of personality assessments: they don't predict success, measure competence, or account for context and growthAn overview of popular assessment tools: Big Five, Hogan, DISC, Myers-Briggs, and CliftonStrengthsWhy teams don't need a big formal rollout to benefit, individuals can take low-cost assessments on their own to start the conversationKey TakeawaysAssessments reveal tendencies, not fixed destiny. Leaders can choose to modify their behavior once they understand their default patterns.What matters in communication is what's received, not what's intended. Passion can be received as anger; focus can be received as displeasure.Teams with too much of one personality type (e.g., all highly dominant) risk burnout, unchecked pace, and conflict without anyone working to hold the team together.Effective leaders adjust how they motivate and communicate with each person while keeping accountability and expectations consistent.These tools should never be used for hiring, promotion, or performance decisions. They lack the accuracy to predict success and don't measure intelligence, judgment, or competence.Assessments are most valuable as a shared vocabulary and a conversation starter between mentors and mentees, not a definitive label.Resources MentionedBig Five (Five Factor Model) — scientifically validated personality model widely used in academic research and organizational psychologyHogan Assessments — used in executive development, focused on strengths, behavior under stress, and "dark side" derailing traitsDISC Assessment — measures Dominance, Inspiration (Influence), Steadiness, and Conscientiousness; widely used for team communicationMyers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) — 16-type model popular for workshops and self-reflectionCliftonStrengths (Gallup) — strengths-based assessment used for role fit and team dynamics conversationsWho Should Listen?Mentors, managers, and emerging leaders anyone curious about using personality assessments to improve team communication and dynamics.
Transcribe →Ep #34 - When You’re Identified to be a Leader Early in Your Career
3w ago00:38:11Tap to summarizeContact us: mentoringirl@gmail.comWhat happens when you're identified as a future leader just a few years into your career? It can be exciting—but it can also feel overwhelming. In this episode, Bill Bonwit and Angela Falcini discuss the mindset shifts, experiences, and leadership skills that help high-potential professionals grow into leadership roles successfully.The biggest takeaway? You don't need to have all the answers—you need to be committed to learning.Whether you're an emerging leader, an experienced manager mentoring new talent, or someone preparing for the next step in your career, this conversation offers practical guidance for accelerating your professional growth.In This EpisodeWhy confidence should never become overconfidenceHow to build a "personal board of directors" with mentors, sponsors, and peer advisorsThe value of shadowing senior leaders and learning how executive decisions are madeWhy understanding finance, strategy, operations, and customer experience makes you a stronger leaderLeadership skills you should develop before becoming a managerThe importance of coaching, delegation, conflict resolution, and giving effective feedbackHow stretch assignments accelerate career growthAsking for developmental feedback that actually helps you improveBuilding executive communication and presentation skillsWhy storytelling, negotiation, and active listening are leadership superpowersAdapting your communication style to different personalitiesThe importance of cross-functional experience and organizational awarenessThe difference between mentors and sponsors—and why you need bothDeveloping self-awareness through assessments, feedback, and reflectionMaintaining technical credibility while expanding your leadership responsibilitiesWhy great leaders ask questions—even when they think they know the answerKey TakeawaysStay curious. Never assume you're the smartest person in the room.Seek mentors at multiple levels throughout your organization.Learn how the business works—not just your technical role.Practice leadership before receiving a leadership title.Volunteer for projects that stretch your skills and expand your visibility.Request specific, actionable feedback on a regular basis.Invest in communication, presentation, and negotiation skills.Build relationships across departments to better understand the organization.Develop self-awareness through reflection and structured feedback.Technical expertise opens doors; leadership skills determine how far you'll go.Resources MentionedManager Tools (https://manager-tools.com/)Toastmasters International (https://www.toastmasters.org/)Never Split the Difference by Chris VossDISC Personality AssessmentMyers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)Who Should Listen?Early-career professionals identified as high-potential leadersNew and aspiring managersEngineers and technical professionals transitioning into leadershipLeaders developing future talent
Transcribe →Ep #33 - GUEST: Leading through change with Maurice "Mo" Civers-Davis
Jun 1500:36:51Tap to summarizeContact us: mentoringirl@gmail.comContact Mo Civers-Davis: mo@civers-davisdevelopment.comWebsite: https://www.mociversdavis.com/Episode SummaryIn this episode of Mentoring in Real Life, Angela Falcini and Bill Bonwit welcome Maurice "Mo" Civers Davis, keynote speaker, executive leadership coach, founder of Civers Davis Development LLC, and founder of Independence Foundry. A former federal leader, Mo shares insights on navigating career transitions, finding meaningful mentors, developing future leaders, and cultivating coachability.Drawing from his own transition out of federal service and his work coaching professionals through workforce disruption, Mo discusses the importance of identity, purpose, community involvement, accountability, and asking powerful questions that help people discover their own answers.Whether you're seeking a mentor, serving as one, or navigating a major career change, this conversation offers practical wisdom and inspiration.Key Topics DiscussedNavigating Career TransitionsThe emotional impact of leaving long-term careers in federal service or the militaryHow career transitions often trigger a loss of identity.Leveraging your network during times of uncertainty and change.What Makes a Great Mentor?Mo looks for three key qualities in mentors:IntegrityHumilityDemonstrated resultsHe emphasizes that finding mentors often begins with having the humility to ask for help—and being specific about what help you need.Meeting People Where They AreEffective mentoring starts by:Understanding a person's current circumstances.Recognizing untapped potential.Helping individuals build confidence alongside skills and experience.Community Engagement and LeadershipLeadership extends beyond formal titles.Being actively involved in your community creates opportunities to mentor and influence others.People naturally gravitate toward leaders who genuinely care and contribute.The Difference Between Advising and MentoringOne of the episode's most powerful themes:Mentoring is not primarily about giving advice.Great mentors ask powerful questions.The goal is to help mentees discover answers that already exist within themselves.As Mo explains, mentors should serve as mirrors, helping others see their own strengths, values, and possibilities.Powerful Questions for Mentoring"What's important to you?""Why is this important to you?"What are you willing to sacrifice to achieve that goal?"Actionable TakeawaysReconnect with your authentic self during times of transition.Seek mentors who demonstrate integrity, humility, and results.Be specific when asking for help.Get involved in your community to create meaningful connections.Ask powerful questions instead of immediately giving advice.Identify your deeper "why" and let it guide your decisions.Stay coachable, regardless of your experience level.View failure as a learning opportunity rather than a setback.Practice accountability as both a mentor and a mentee.Lead through action, not titles.
Transcribe →Ep #32 - GUEST: Compassionate Communication in High-Stakes Conversations with DeeDee Fisher
Jun 800:33:31Tap to summarizeContact us: mentoringirl@gmail.comEpisode SummaryIn this episode of Mentoring in Real Life, Angela Falcini and Bill Bonwit sit down with keynote speaker and communication expert DeeDee Fisher, creator of the CPL Framework — Compassion, Process, and Learning.Drawing from her upbringing in rural Idaho and decades as an entrepreneur and consultant, DeeDee shares how she developed a unique ability to recognize communication breakdowns and help people move beyond reactionary conversations. Together, they explore the role of curiosity, compassion, mentorship, and intentional dialogue in building stronger relationships and more effective teams.The conversation dives into how mentors can shape our paths, why asking better questions matters more than having all the answers, and how slowing down creates space for creativity, trust, and meaningful growth.Key TakeawaysCommunication often fails because people state positions instead of exchanging understanding.Curiosity is one of the most powerful tools for diffusing tension and improving dialogue.Great mentors help people see strengths and opportunities they may not recognize in themselves.Effective communication is a process, not a one-time interaction.Prioritizing meaningful conversations over constant busyness leads to better outcomes.Learning to say “I don’t know” is essential for personal and professional growth.Slowing down creates room for creativity, reflection, and deeper understanding.Topics DiscussedDeeDee Fisher’s CPL FrameworkCommunication during conflict and uncertaintyMentorship and intergenerational learningCuriosity as a leadership skillBuilding authentic relationshipsEgo, humility, and growthThe importance of slowing downLearning through feedbackCreating space for creativity and reflectionChapter Timestamps00:00 – Introduction to DeeDee Fisher01:15 – Growing up in rural Idaho03:00 – Early lessons in communication06:00 – Recognizing communication breakdowns08:00 – The power of asking questions11:00 – Mentors and learning from feedback15:00 – Why mentorship matters18:00 – Curiosity, humility, and growth21:00 – The CPL Framework explained24:00 – Prioritizing meaningful conversations26:00 – Creativity, reflection, and slowing down28:00 – Mentorship as a shared responsibility31:00 – Final reflections and key takeawaysAbout the GuestDeeDee Fisher is a keynote speaker, entrepreneur, and creator of the CPL Framework (Compassion, Process, and Learning). For more than three decades, she has helped leaders and organizations improve communication during moments of tension, uncertainty, and high stakes. Her work focuses on building trust, clarity, and meaningful dialogue that leads to better outcomes.https://www.linkedin.com/in/deedee-fisher/Websitediscoverresponse.com
Transcribe →Ep #31: GUEST: Andrew Hall, Dept Head of Financial Mgt, LA County Sanitation District
Jun 100:36:02Tap to summarizeContact Us: mentoringirl@gmail.comConnect with Andrew on LinkedInThe conversation delves into Andrew's career trajectory, education, transition to financial management, and his experience with formal and informal mentoring. It explores the evolution of formal mentoring programs, the importance of finding mentors, and the broader scope of mentoring beyond career development. Mentoring is seen as a holistic approach to personal and professional growth, adaptable to individual needs and available in various forms.TakeawaysMentoring is not limited to career development and can encompass personal growth and learning from various sources.Formal mentoring programs can be adapted to fit the needs of the mentor and mentee, creating a more personalized and effective experience.Mentoring can be found in various forms, including books, podcasts, and informal conversations, and can extend beyond the workplace.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction06:35 Interest in Financial Side of the House and IT Involvement12:17 Determining Mentorship within the Organization and Shift in Mentoring Approach
Transcribe →Ep #30: GUEST - The Jungle Gym of Careers: Mentoring Lessons from Kate Crane
May 1800:30:07Tap to summarizeContact Us: mentoringirl@gmail.comContact Kate Crane: https://www.directionoverperfection.com/SummaryIn this insightful interview, Kate Crane shares her journey from art history to tech leadership, emphasizing the importance of mentorship at all career stages. Discover practical advice on building meaningful mentoring relationships, the evolving nature of mentorship, and the impact of face-to-face versus virtual interactions.Keywordsmentorship, career development, leadership, coaching, professional growth, networking, tech industry, career pivot, relationship buildingKey topicsThe importance of mentorship at different career stagesHow to start and maintain effective mentoring relationshipsThe impact of face-to-face versus virtual mentoringEvolving mentorship relationships over timeTakeawaysMentorship is a lifelong journey that adapts to life's seasons.Effective mentoring starts with listening more than giving advice.Face-to-face interactions are more powerful for building trust.Mentors and mentees should evolve their relationship as careers progress.Key ActionsStart mentorship conversations with active listening.Maintain regular, organic contact with mentees.Be adaptable as mentorship needs evolve over time.Prioritize face-to-face interactions when possible. Sound bites"Mentors can change over time based on your needs.""Being positive keeps mentors wanting to help.""In-person interactions are more engaging and powerful."Chapters00:00 The Journey of Kate Crane: From Art to Tech03:24 The Value of Mentorship in Career Development06:13 Navigating Career Pivots and Mentorship Dynamics08:48 The Evolution of Mentorship Relationships11:34 Mentoring Across Different Career Stages14:20 The Importance of Positive Mentorship17:12 The Role of Technology in Mentorship19:52 Maintaining Mentorship Relationships22:26 The Personal Touch in Mentorship25:04 Final Thoughts on Mentorship and Career Growth resources
Transcribe →Ep #29: Mastering Feedback as a Mentor (Yes, Especially Mentors)
Apr 2700:26:25Tap to summarizeContact Us: mentoringirl@gmail.comSummaryThis episode explores effective mentoring through the art of giving constructive feedback. Learn practical strategies to foster trust, reduce defensiveness, and help mentees grow by mastering feedback techniques that are specific, intentional, and recurring.Keywordsmentoring, feedback, leadership, professional development, coaching, communication, growth, trust, psychological safetyKey topicsThe importance of feedback in mentoringStrategies for giving effective feedbackCreating psychological safety in conversationsPattern recognition and behavioral insightsBuilding a feedback ritual for ongoing growthTakeawaysAlways ask permission before giving feedback to reduce defensiveness. Align feedback with the mentee's goals to make it relevant. Use the situation-behavior-impact framework for clarity. Focus on behaviors, not personalities, to keep feedback objective. Make feedback a recurring, predictable part of mentoring. Handwritten notes foster better engagement than typing.Sound Bites"If your mentor won't give feedback, who will?" "Keep feedback objective, not personal." "Provide specific, actionable guidance."Chapters00:00 The Importance of Feedback 02:49 Creating a Safe Feedback Environment 06:05 Delivering Constructive Feedback 09:06 Encouraging Self-Reflection 10:44 Common Mistakes in Feedback 12:41 Making Feedback a Ritual 14:58 The Power of Handwritten NotesResourcesManager Tools - https://www.managertools.com 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - https://www.franklincovey.com/courses/the-7-habits/Guest LinksLinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/angelafalcini LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/billbonwit
Transcribe →Ep #28: The Superpower of Adaptability and Flexibility
Apr 1300:28:28Tap to summarizeContact us: mentoringirl@gmail.comSummaryThis episode explores the importance of flexibility and adaptability in the workplace and life. Angela Falcini and Bill Bonwit discuss how to develop these skills, overcome resistance to change, and leverage them for career growth and resilience.Keywordsadaptability, flexibility, change management, resilience, career growth, leadership, problem-solving, communication, emotional intelligence, workplace skillsKey topicsWhy flexibility is crucial in a changing workplace and life Practical strategies to increase adaptability and flexibility The importance of separating change from threat and reframing challenges Building resilience and managing emotional responses to changeTakeawaysFlexibility and adaptability are essential for handling constant change in work and life. Reframe change as an opportunity rather than a threat to stay proactive. Develop resilience by protecting recovery time and managing burnout. Ask questions early during change to gain clarity and reduce ambiguity. Attach your identity to skills, not roles, to remain adaptable during transitions.Chapters02:56 The Importance of Flexibility in Life and Work 10:23 Practical Strategies for Enhancing Adaptability 18:48 Emotional Resilience and Adaptability 24:07 Learning from Patterns in ChangeResourcesThe Fires of Heaven by Robert Jordan - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A7X7U4Q Conscious Leadership Group - Locating Yourself video - https://consciousleadershipgroup.com/locating-yourself How Big Things Get Done by Bent Flyvbjerg - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07V4V7V4XMentoring IRL Episode 18 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-FPVvVZC9kguest linksLinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/angelafalcini LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/billbonwit
Transcribe →Ep #27: Be Someone Everyone Wants to Work With
Apr 600:32:34Tap to summarizeContact Us: mentoringirl@gmail.comSummaryExplore the key values that make a great team and how to embody them to become someone everyone wants on their team. Based on Coach K's seven principles, this episode offers practical insights for fostering trust, respect, loyalty, and selfless service in any organization.Keywordsteam building, leadership, coaching, trust, respect, loyalty, selfless service, organizational cultureKey TopicsCoach K's seven team valuesDoing the right thing in a team contextRespect and dignity for all team membersCourage to speak up and actSelfless service and contributionLoyalty to team and missionAligning with team duties and goalsBuilding trust and reliabilitySound bites"Treat everyone with dignity and respect" "Listening empathetically builds trust" "Selfless service is its own reward"Chapters00:00 The Importance of Being a Good Teammate 02:48 Values of a Great Team 05:50 Doing the Right Thing 08:38 Respect and Dignity in Teamwork 11:33 Handling Conflict and Composure 14:23 Courage and Accountability 17:31 Selfless Service and Team Success 20:22 Demonstrating Loyalty 23:30 Duty and Dignity of Work 26:19 Building Trust in TeamsResourcesCoach K's 7 Values for a Great Team - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90by1ya1W9c
Transcribe →Ep #26 : GUEST - Dr. Keith Dorsey, Author of The Boardroom Journey
Mar 3000:39:52Tap to summarizeContact us: mentoringirl@gmail.comsummaryIn this insightful interview, Keith Dorsey shares his extensive experience on leadership, mentorship, sponsorship, and navigating career transitions. Discover practical strategies for finding mentors, understanding the roles of mentors, sponsors, and allies, and how to leverage these relationships for board service and career growth.keywordsmentorship, sponsorship, leadership, board service, career development, diversity, executive coaching, networking, personal growthkey topicsThe impact of mentorship on career growthThe difference between mentors, sponsors, and alliesHow to find and approach top-tier mentorsThe importance of values alignment in mentorshipLessons from a career in leadership and board serviceChapters00:00 Introduction to Mentorship and Leadership02:12 The Impact of Mentorship on Career Growth07:28 Lessons Learned from Mentoring Relationships14:16 Understanding High-Potential Employees15:38 Defining Mentors, Sponsors, and Allies18:33 The Importance of Multiple Mentors24:56 Approaching Potential Mentors28:54 Navigating Board Service and Mentorship33:29 The Boardroom Journey: Insights and ThemesresourcesThe Boardroom Journey - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CXYZ1234
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