As you know, I’m taking a little time away this week for spring break with my family—which means slower mornings, later nights, and me pretending I’m a fun, flexible person who doesn’t actually need a routine to survive.

So today, I’m dropping a recent episode from one of my other podcasts, Sidetracked, with my co-host Heather MacFadyen.

If you’ve never listened, just know this: there is no outline, no real plan, and absolutely no guarantee we stay on topic. I’ll be back next week with a fresh episode of Messmerized. In the meantime, settle in—here’s what’s coming your way:

Heather has a new hobby—hip-hop dance fitness—which leads to a very real conversation about midlife exercise choices, ranging from dancing to water aerobics to the stroller workouts moms used to do at the mall. That, of course, opens the door to a shocking revelation that some totally off-the-rails mothers used to take strollers on escalators (i.e., Cynthia).

There’s also a discussion about a child who snort-laughed gum into his nose, running shoes that started foaming mid-practice, and a man who apparently inhaled a tiny toy traffic cone.

They break down new teenage slang, debate the strange corners of internet fame (including monkeys and squirrel puppets with millions of followers), and share why the world might be ready for a menopause subscription box that actually contains useful things (trade the lip plumper for tweezers and possibly an emergency adult diaper).

Add in goose outfits, Graceland, ribbon shopping in Memphis, and a TSA agent gently reminding Cynthia to zip her pants in the airport security line, and this episode is 100% Sidetracked.

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