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Graduated HS at 285, but will never get to 300, Then hit 407 and stopped using a scale At a couples event I met a guy who was over 400 but was not now. He got my attention. I have always thought I was just a fat kid. It was not the reality looking at pictures but I thought it was. My goto prayer is -"God, show me what I need to see." I always did well with fasting and/or Keto. The king of short term weight loss. Until it didn't work. Was on the plan and failed every day. It was the darkest I can imagine. and it got worse. I called a guy I had met - actually called, he called back and I got involved in OA. I I threw myself into following a sponsors I had the moment where I had a sudden crisis and my first thought was food, but niot my action.\ I used to eat to treat my spiritual malady. Not taday.

I come from generations of alcoholics and overeaters. I am one of eight and we all have 'issues' I thought we were a close knit family, I was a strong fixer. I later discovered I was a martyr and a victim putting my emotional well being onto my husband. In adolescence I felt 'large' but looking back l it was not the case. It was in marriage I progressed from plump to 280 lbs. I was scared into seeking 'life' one evening in the 90s It was in open AA meetings where I really learned about the 12 steps and all the human drama that work with the 12 steps. I keep my eyes on the prize - being joyous, happy and free.

Today I am maintaining about 90 LBS down from my top. I have been lower but was not sustainable. As a kid I was admitted to a hospital for being too thin. That quickly revered. I was extremely overweight by 3rd grade and embarrassed by the school nurse. By 11 I went to a doctor and counted calories. It gave me awareness or what was happening. I lost a lot and became a normal weight. From then on I was always dieting. I was told about bulemia. got excited about it but could not do it. Grateful for that. Diet pills made me crazy but I did loose weight. Graduated at normal weight, stop diet pills and the yoyo started. Tried Pay and Weighs about 15 times. Once I heard about OA I was so excited I ran right out 6 months later. It sounded great except for the God part. I reached my highest weight before I really surrendered to a higher Power.

Topped at 238. My mom said I was 'Big Boned' but the pain of the teasing was very real. I loved boys but they didn't love me. Big surprise. Been sober for 39 Years. First came to OA in 1990. but no sponsor, no Steps I actually did have a thyroid problem. Even sober I was just existing mishandling my food thinking I could control it only to fail repeatedly. I have been consistent in OA for about 7 years. Finally got a sponsor and became willing to work the steps and got honest. Today I have a tight food plan, daily inventory, meetings and service. I avoid the foods I used to crave and the craving stops. Even Diet Coke. I have incorporated exercise. eating less and less flour.

2011 at 365 I wanted to loose weight with a new years resolution. No action until Nov. then went to OA Bay think I would get the plan and leave and be fixed, Got sponsor and had to refrain from 5 alcoholic foods. I was proud of how much I can eat. Never full. Had a watermelon cake with fruit for my wedding. I have a daily ritual including prayers daily readings, my abstinence, regular meetings and sponsoring. I trust my sponsor to help me navigate my errors . I was in my 40s when I started growing up.

First time into OA - 1978 They were speaking my language around food. For three weeks I had to hibernate to stay away from sugar. I realized I could be moderate with anything without sugar. I lost weight down to 88 lbs. worked for 3 years For over 40 years I went up and down and kept clothes for every size. I could loose weight, for a minute and never had not worked the steps At 57 I was raising my 3 year old autistic grandson and coped by eating. for the last 15 yearas I have been wearing the same size clothes Today at an Easter dinner I stayed away from the dessert table. My food plan is boring and works for me.

Top weight pregnant 5'3" and 213. Started in OA in 1990. Lasted 5 years, stayed abstinent throguh second pregamancy. I got this... not - 7 rear relapse. I gave up sugar before I came back - It was my heroin, Came home from Paris after gaining 7 lbs in a week realizing I had a problem but didn't need a sponsor. Still wanted the diet. I surrendered VERY slowly. I was just fat. I have had one more slip. waas back quickly, had nowhre else to go. I have a Higher Power whom I don't always listen to. I have a daily ritual for my higher power, my program and my family. Weighing and measureing works for me when I am at home. (Most of the time). I don't hate myself anymore - or you.

Being a hundred pounder came with the shame that I let it get that bad. Now it is with acceptance of my recovery. Came in OA at 24 years old 375 lbs. Food was my solution for a dificult childhood. I kept that solution when that danger was no longer there. There were clues along the way which did not work. I wanted to win on my own ... Got gave me the tools, if I failed it was on me. I was excited to get to day 30. After that was day 31. As I approached the 100 lb mark I had the thought I was loosing part of who I am. I am the same weight I was at 13 but now I am safe and surrounded with people who love me, and I love me. Doing it on my terms did not work. I am no longer defined by my weight, good or bad. My current anxiety and drama is not longer because of my wheight. it is because I am human.

There are lots of 100 pounders who are not here. Been here since 1988 and got 8 years but no higher power. I went out on 'look alikes' Diet foods etc. Took 5 years to come back. Next time 3 years to gain it back. Then 1 year. Nothing scared me into recovery, I knew how to be a fat person and it kept calling me. My dad was a bulemic to stay thin for his daughter. What I put in my mouth affects what comes out of my mouth.

Getting, Hiding, getting rid of, getting more was what I always did with food I staged a kitchen fire to hide my behavior. I did not want recovery, I just wanted the consequences to stop. I loved AA Parties and the food was my best friend. AND I Got credit for staying sober while gaining weight. After failing as my own sponsor I hired and fired a bunch. I eventually understood I needed to listen to someone else. I did the steps- with a sponsor - and did get dose of recovery without my excuses. It felt like I dropped 50 lbs the moment I completed my fifth step. To have this amazing life all I have to do is go to meetings, be of service, call someone and stay on a food plan. There are other tools that help me do this.