2633: Seven Ways Working Out Too Much Is Making You Fat & More (Listener Coaching)

Summary

Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - Episode 2633 Summary

Title: Seven Ways Working Out Too Much Is Making You Fat & More (Listener Coaching)
Release Date: July 4, 2025
Hosts: Sal Di Stefano, Adam Schafer, Justin Andrews
Producer: Doug Egge

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1. Introduction to Overtraining and Its Impact on Fat Loss

In this episode, the Mind Pump hosts delve into a counterintuitive yet crucial topic: how excessive training can impede fat loss and potentially lead to weight gain. Drawing from over 40 years of combined experience and supported by independent, peer-reviewed studies, the hosts dismantle common fitness myths surrounding overtraining.

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2. Seven Ways Overtraining Can Make You Fat

a. Increased Cravings for Hyper Palatable Foods

Adam Schafer explains that overtraining can trigger strong cravings for high-calorie, hyper palatable foods. This is the body's compensatory mechanism to adapt to the persistent stress signal from excessive workouts.

"Training too much creates very strong cravings... your body's trying to comfort you with hyper palatable foods."
— Adam Schafer [03:33]

b. Elevated Stress and Cortisol Levels

Overtraining elevates cortisol levels beyond their optimal daily rhythm, leading to several metabolic disturbances. High cortisol not only promotes fat storage, especially visceral fat, but also disrupts sleep patterns and hormone balance.

"When you're overtrained... cortisol starts to look high all the time... promoting visceral body fat."
— Adam Schafer [06:37]

c. Hormonal Imbalances Affecting Testosterone

Both men and women experience a decline in testosterone due to overtraining, resulting in decreased muscle mass, increased fat gain, and reduced libido. The imbalance created by high cortisol and low testosterone levels favors fat storage over muscle building.

"Testosterone is this anabolic fat-burning, muscle-building hormone, and overtraining brings it back down."
— Adam Schafer [09:14]

d. Poor Sleep Quality

One of the early signs of overtraining is disrupted sleep—either difficulty falling asleep, restless nights, or waking up frequently. This poor sleep further exacerbates hormonal imbalances and impedes recovery.

"You have restless sleep, hard time falling asleep, or you fall asleep right away, but then you wake up throughout the night."
— Adam Schafer [12:15]

e. Muscle Loss Leading to Decreased Metabolism

Excessive training, especially when combined with undereating, leads to muscle catabolism. Muscle loss slows down metabolism, making it harder to burn calories efficiently and easier to gain fat.

"Overtraining is a great way to get your body to pare muscle down... slows your metabolism."
— Adam Schafer [14:46]

f. Deterioration of Gut Health

Chronic inflammation from overtraining can lead to a compromised gut lining, resulting in leaky gut syndrome and food intolerances. Athletes and fitness enthusiasts often report gastrointestinal issues when teetering on the edge of overtraining.

"When you're chronically inflamed... you get leaky gut syndrome... gas, constipation."
— Adam Schafer [17:41]

g. Promotion of Disordered Eating Patterns

Overtraining can lead to a cycle of restrictive eating and bingeing. The body becomes efficient at conserving energy, making it susceptible to sudden calorie surges that result in noticeable fat gain.

"Restrict for long periods and then overindulge slightly can lead to substantial body fat gain."
— Justin Andrews [17:27]

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3. Cravings and Metabolic Adaptation

The hosts discuss how overtraining not only increases cravings but also affects metabolic adaptability. Individuals become efficient at their routines, requiring more significant changes to break plateaus and achieve desired results.

"The body will adapt remarkably well... it's a scary place to be because the advice is work out less and eat more."
— Adam Schafer [14:46]

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4. Strategies to Prevent Overtraining's Negative Effects

To mitigate the adverse effects of overtraining, the hosts recommend:

• Balancing Workout Intensity: Avoid exceeding what your body can recover from based on personal factors like fitness level and genetics.
• Prioritizing Nutrition: Ensure adequate calorie and macronutrient intake, particularly protein and healthy fats.
• Monitoring Hormonal Health: Keep an eye on signs of hormonal imbalance, such as changes in strength, mood, and energy levels.
• Improving Sleep Quality: Implement strategies to enhance sleep hygiene and ensure restorative rest.
• Maintaining Gut Health: Incorporate anti-inflammatory foods and consider probiotics to support digestive health.
• Fostering Healthy Eating Patterns: Avoid extreme dieting and maintain a balanced approach to food intake.

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5. Listener Coaching/Q&A

The latter part of the episode focuses on answering listener-submitted questions:

a. Bracing for Exercises Like Squats

Adam Schafer provides guidance on proper bracing techniques during squats, emphasizing the importance of tightening the core without holding the breath excessively.

"Bracing while you squat essentially just means you're tightening up your core... don't overthink it."
— Adam Schafer [55:59]

b. Signs of Overtraining Related to Dry Skin and Lips

Dave addresses a listener's concern about persistent dryness despite moisturizing and adequate hydration, suggesting it might indicate nutrient deficiencies rather than overtraining alone.

"This could be a sign of a B vitamin deficiency or a nutrient deficiency."
— Adam Schafer [59:15]

c. Protein Intake vs. Strength Training Consistency

For those struggling to meet protein targets but maintaining consistent strength training, the hosts stress the paramount importance of hitting protein goals to prevent muscle loss, especially when on low-calorie regimens like GLP1.

"Hitting your protein intake is extremely important... you'd be better off missing that workout and hitting your protein intake than vice versa."
— Justin Andrews [60:54]

d. Balancing Family Responsibilities with Personal Life

Addressing the challenge of juggling family duties with maintaining friendships and hobbies, the hosts advocate for shifting priorities and leveraging support systems to preserve personal well-being while fulfilling familial roles.

"If you partake in hobbies that allow you to be a better husband and father, then go for it."
— Adam Schafer [62:00]

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6. Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• On Cravings from Overtraining:

  "Training too much creates very strong cravings... your body's trying to comfort you with hyper palatable foods."
  — Adam Schafer [03:33]

• On Cortisol and Fat Storage:

  "Promotes visceral body fat."
  — Adam Schafer [07:10]

• On Testosterone Decline:

  "You're creating a hormone profile that's favorable to fat gain and unfavorable to muscle gain."
  — Adam Schafer [09:14]

• On Muscle Loss and Metabolism:

  "Overtraining is a great way to slow your metabolism down."
  — Adam Schafer [14:46]

• On Balancing Personal Life:

  "If you partake in hobbies that allow you to be a better husband and father, then go for it."
  — Adam Schafer [62:00]

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7. Conclusion and Key Takeaways

Excessive training can paradoxically hinder fat loss and contribute to weight gain through a cascade of hormonal imbalances, increased cravings, sleep disruption, muscle loss, gut health issues, and disordered eating patterns. The Mind Pump hosts emphasize the importance of balanced training, proper nutrition, and self-awareness to avoid the pitfalls of overtraining. Additionally, maintaining personal relationships and hobbies is crucial for overall well-being, especially for those balancing family responsibilities.

Key Takeaways:

• Avoid Overtraining: Listen to your body and adjust workout intensity to match your recovery capacity.
• Prioritize Nutrition: Ensure adequate calorie and nutrient intake to support your training and metabolic health.
• Monitor Sleep and Hormones: Pay attention to sleep quality and signs of hormonal imbalances.
• Maintain Gut Health: Incorporate anti-inflammatory practices and consider probiotics.
• Balanced Lifestyle: Foster personal hobbies and friendships to support mental and emotional health alongside fitness goals.

By adhering to these principles, individuals can optimize their fitness journey without falling into the trap of overtraining-induced setbacks.

Transcript

[Sal Destefano]

If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go.

[Adam Schafer]

Mind Pump. Mind Pump. With your hosts, Sal Destefano, Adam Schafer and Justin Andrews, you just found the most downloaded fitness, health and entertainment podcast. This is Mind Pump. Today's episode. We answered listeners questions. They wrote into Mind Pump Media on Instagram. We picked some questions and we answered them. But this was after the intro. Today's intro is 53 minutes long. In the intro, we talk about fat loss, science, muscle building, exercise, nutrition, sleep. We talk about current events, family life. It's a good time. Again, if you want to post the question that we can pick, go to Instagram. Mindpumpmedia. Now, this episode is brought to you by some sponsors. The first one is Organifi. Today we talked about their happy drops. They have compounds in them that improve your mood. They lift your mood and your libido. That's what the studies are showing. Go check them out. Go to Organifi.com that's O R-G-A-N-I F I.com mindpump. Use the code mind pump. Get 20% off. This episode is also brought to you by Vuori. This is Athleisure Wear. That is amazing. It's the best athleisure wear you'll find anywhere. And if you go through our link, you'll get 20% off. Go to vuoriclothing.com that's V U O R I clothing.com mindpump. We also have a sale on some programs this month, Maps Split and the Anabolic Metabolism bundle of programs. 50% off. If you're interested, go to mapsfitnessproducts.com and then use the code 7-7-50 for the discount. Here comes the show. Working out too much can make you fat. It's true. We're gonna talk about the seven ways doing too much is making it impossible to lose body fat or worse. You're getting fatter. Let's go. Wow.

[Justin Andrews]

Let's hear it.

[Adam Schafer]

Thought I'd hook everybody with a really crazy statement. No, I actually thought this would be a good topic because I was on the phone last night with our customer service department and I was talking to Margaret and she was talking about how there's people that write in and ask questions and how it's hard for them to understand or to even believe that doing less would result in better results. And so I said, you know what? I'm going to do this as a fit tip because people have a tough time understanding this on its surface. It doesn't make sense. How can moving less be better for fat loss? Aren't I supposed to burn more calories? But that's not exactly what's happening. And I'll start with the first reason. And by the way, everything that's listed here is backed by independent studies, peer reviewed research. And so one of the ways that doing too much, doing too much means you're doing more than what is ideal for your body. Okay. And what determines whether or not what's ideal, really determined, is determined on the person, their fitness level, their genetics, their current lifestyle. And this can change throughout your life. If you go, you know, through a stressful, stressful period in your life, then you need to do less exercise. Oftentimes if your hormones out of balance, if you're a beginner, I think you guys get the point. But one of the first ways it makes you fatter is training too much creates very strong cravings in particular. And they've done studies on this specifically for hyper palatable foods. So when you're over training and you're sending this really loud consistent stress signal that your body's not necessarily recovering from very well, one of the ways that your body tries to adapt to this is it tries to comfort you with hyper palatable foods and also have you eat more calories to try to compensate from the overtraining.

[Justin Andrews]

The interesting part about that is like something related to cortisol is that what's going on with that, that's causing that.

[Adam Schafer]

Part of it, part of it. So there's a psychological aspect which is just over training doesn't feel good. You might ignore it because your body's.

[Justin Andrews]

Naturally searching for more energy, comfort.

[Adam Schafer]

Well, your body's searching for comfort and so you're going to have cravings for food that produce those good feelings. The second reason is too much stress. For most of human history, one of the main sources of chronic stress was inability to get food enough food. And so when your body's under a lot of stress, what can happen to some people, many people is their hunger or their cravings skyrocket. And you see this repeatedly with workouts that are too hard.

[Justin Andrews]

Well, you know what's interesting about this too is that all that stress under eating like that also results in poor sleep. And poor sleep also ramps up the we're cycle.

[Doug]

I know I was trying not to skip ahead for once, but yeah, that was like those are both like totally tied in together.

[Adam Schafer]

They are 100. But yeah, I mean this was me when I, when I over train I just notice that I have to use more of my willpower to say no to the, the foods for me that are the triggers, like potato chips and stuff like that. And I noticed this with clients when I would bring them down from over training to a more appropriate levels. They didn't struggle so much with eating foods that weren't, you know, maybe quote unquote, good for them.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. You know, I mean, this is why I brought up the other day, I used the baking a cake analogy because so many people connect working out to like a job or a sport. And in those scenarios, the more you work, the more effort, more hours, more money. Yeah, but it's not, it's more like baking a cake where it's like, yeah, more, more ingredients, more temperature, more time is not what makes a better cake. It's more like that than it is.

[Adam Schafer]

There's a perfect amount.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. And, and, and anything above or below that results in less results. And the further it you get from that, the worse it is.

[Adam Schafer]

That's right. Next up, and you kind of said this a little bit, Adam, is your cortisol level becomes elevated when it shouldn't be. So the way cortisol works, cortisol is not a bad hormone. It gets labeled a bad hormone. It is the stress hormone. So it does go up when you're under a lot of stress. What it does is it releases glycogen from the liver and it burns more energy. Right. Gives you energy. So. So if you were to get a spike in cortisol, you'd feel kind of wired and hyper. And it gets elevated during times of stress. But what it's supposed to look like is it's supposed to rise in the morning when you wake up and slowly go down throughout the day. And it's lowest in the evening so you can sleep. But when you're over trained, when you're doing too much, the cortisol starts to look high all the time. And then if you keep pushing it, you get an inverted cortisol numbers where it's low in the morning or you're dragging butt, you're taking tons of caffeine to get going, and then at the end of the night you're exhausted, but you're wired. You're wired but tired and you can't sleep.

[Doug]

You're not producing melatonin like you normally would.

[Adam Schafer]

No.

[Doug]

It's kind of like that inverse relationship between the two of those. Yeah. So you kind of really screw up that whole balance to where it interrupts.

[Adam Schafer]

Your sleep and too much cortisol all the time. Or inappropriate cortisol levels or things that are outside of what would be considered optimal. Promotes visceral in particular. Visceral body fat. Yeah, and belly fat in particular. Women, when they're high, high stress all the time, what they'll start to notice is their fat, the way that they store body fat starts to change, and it starts to happen more on the midsection than it would normally.

[Justin Andrews]

This is a really difficult one for people to connect the dots to because there's almost this positive feedback to get. We call them cortisol junkies. Right? The client who under eats and over trains and they love the circuit.

[Doug]

You feel energy from it.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah, they get the hype from it.

[Justin Andrews]

So, I mean, I know you guys have had this. I mean, try telling somebody who, you know, does that type of training that gets this cortisol dump of energy right afterwards and goes, there's nothing you can tell me that tells me you're gonna tell me that that is battery. Because I always feel so good right afterwards. You know, you have this sense of accomplishment. You get this cortisol dump. And so they're getting this positive reinforcement of this is the right thing. It feels. It feels right. And so trying to convince that client that, no, this is not necessarily the right or appropriate dose for you, and what you're feeling is just the initial dump of cortisol. And that also that feeling of accomplishment, it is not a positive sign that this is. This is the right or appropriate worker. That's really hard to convince somebody that when they're in that.

[Adam Schafer]

Right. And by the way, cortisol junkies tend to have another. Other attributes to their personality that come along with this. Not always, but they tend to be late or they tend to show up last minute. They tend to place themselves in stressful situations. They. They have, go, go, go, gotta move, gotta move. Don't want to sit still for whatever reason.

[Doug]

Procrastinators.

[Adam Schafer]

Why? Because that pumps out more cortisol and gives you more of that artificial energy again, cortisol, it breaks muscle down and it promotes fat storage. But when it's high, it gives you this kind of wired energy until. Until it stops working. And then what happens is your cortisol then is crashed. This is when you get people what we used to say in adrenal fatigue. They don't call it that anymore. Where they're just, what is wrong with me? I feel dead. I feel hyper fatigue. What this person did is they just pushed it for too long. They kept going until the. Essentially the drugs wore out. And now they're in a position where it's like you got to take two months off exercise completely. And I've had clients like this where you got to take them way, way back just to heal their body.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

Next up, it hammers your testosterone. Like it. This is for both men and women. Low testosterone in men and women have the same symptoms. Less muscle mass, less strength, more fat gain, less motivation, less energy, lower libido. That all happens from low testosterone. The difference between men and women is, you know, men have higher amounts of testosterone than women do. But over training, especially in combination with undereating, this is a fantastic way to lower your testosterone. I mean, in a man, you can oovertrain him for three days and bring his calories way down. And you'll see a drop in testosterone immediately. Immediately, yeah, right away. So testosterone is this anabolic fat burning, muscle building hormone. And over training brings it back down. Essentially what you're doing. We talked about cortisol, now we're at testosterone is you're creating a hormone profile that's favorable to fat gain and unfavorable to muscle gain. So you're fighting an uphill battle is what ends up happening. And this, the slope gets steeper and steeper. The harder you keep hammering in this.

[Doug]

Direction, it stops signaling muscle building. And so now it goes to fat reserves. That's right, because you're trying to survive. And really that's the whole hook at the beginning. That's why there's truth in it. Because what are you actually signaling right now? You're signaling to store energy, to store fat.

[Justin Andrews]

Do you think this is more or less difficult for like men or women, Women to feel it? Like, do you think men, because they're used to higher levels, tend to be able to see this or feel this easier than women? Like in a woman with low. That has lower testosterone levels? I don't. Maybe she doesn't notice as much. Do you?

[Adam Schafer]

I don't know. But I will say from experience, I'd love your guys's feedback on this. It was harder for me to get women to understand that they're over training than men, these women. It was hard. I don't know why, and I don't know if it's because they. I don't know. I think maybe because they had a lot of responsibilities. Kids got to do this, got to do that, stay busy. But this was women.

[Doug]

It's the association with movement and fat.

[Adam Schafer]

That whole, like, maybe that's what it is. Yeah, yeah.

[Doug]

It's because, like, when it, it's almost Like a real simple equation. You know, most people will just identify. If I move this, I'll keep the fat off.

[Adam Schafer]

Right.

[Doug]

And that's it. It's as baseline as it gets.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah. And I think it's also, guys are typically more interested in muscle gain, so it's easier to convince them you're not getting stronger. Whereas a woman's like, well, I don't want to get bullied.

[Doug]

I don't want, you know, I don't.

[Adam Schafer]

Want to gain weight.

[Justin Andrews]

I don't care. I just want to get rid of my belly fat.

[Adam Schafer]

That's what I care about. But I mean, if you, if you hammer your, your, your hormones, you guys, good luck building muscle and burning body fat. Here's what it feels like. It feels like I'm working out like crazy. I'm training real hard and I have an extra 15 pounds that won't come off my body.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

And I'm not progressing. And it's like, what's going on here? Then the fear is, if I cut back, am I going to gain even more body fat? No, you'll get leaner. Right. Is what's going to happen next up screws up your sleep. This is actually one of the first signs that you're doing too much, is that you have restless sleep, hard time falling asleep, or you fall asleep right away, but then you wake up throughout the night. Those are all signs that you're, you're over trained, you're overdoing it.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. The, the point I was making earlier about this is that.

[Adam Schafer]

And that messes everything up.

[Justin Andrews]

Well, this, all of these are connected. So it's like this, these are seven different ways that it can make you fat. And it's like, but if, if you're over training, you're under eating, you're getting them all. This is all probably happening. It's some people worse than others. But typically all these come together and so. And they all, I think, make each other worse.

[Adam Schafer]

That's right.

[Justin Andrews]

So you talk about the, the cravings and stuff like that earlier. It's like, yeah, your cravings and on the undereating and over training. And then you're also not getting sleep, which then promotes the low testosterone, which is also, I mean, elevated cortisol. Yeah.

[Doug]

Brain fog, all these other stuff.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah.

[Justin Andrews]

They just all keep feeding each other. And then the hard part is you're in it and you're in it all the time, that it becomes your new normal.

[Adam Schafer]

That's right.

[Justin Andrews]

And so you don't think it's bad. I mean, how many People have you asked or talked to in the middle of all this and you ask them how they feel, they're like, I feel fine. Yeah, I feel fine.

[Adam Schafer]

Until you get them out of it.

[Justin Andrews]

Until they get out of it. And then they go normal. I didn't know I was supposed to feel this good. It's like, yeah, you just got. I mean, this is. That just shows you how resilient we are as humans. This ability to adapt to all these things and survive, still going and keep going. And then you just sooner or later go like, okay, this is just. This is normal. You don't know what good feels.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah. Oftentimes the people in this situation didn't come seek me out until the signs were so loud that they were afraid. Yeah. Why is my hair falling out? Why, why am I breaking out? Why is my energy just in the floor all day long? Like, what's wrong with me? And it's all, it's all this stuff. It also can cause muscle loss. For sure. Overtraining is a great way to get your body to pare muscle down. And this is because your hormones are leveraging a way to do so and you're just beating the crap out of yourself. So you go to the gym and at best, nothing progresses. At worst, why am I feeling weaker? Why am I feeling more fatigued? I used to be able to lift this much. Now I can only lift this much. What's happening with my body? And by the way, that muscle loss in combination with everything else, we're saying it's a great way to slow your metabolism down. Yeah, it's a great way to make it easier to get, to gain more body fat. And I had, listen, I can tell you countless stories of women that I trained or that trainers that work for me trained where they were eating 1200 calories a day and working out a lot, a lot, and still had body fat to lose and couldn't figure out what was going on. And you ask yourself, how's that possible? The body will adapt remarkably well to doing something like that. And it's a scary place to be because the advice is work out less and eat more. Which to the person sounds like, oh, you want me to eat more and work out less? I'm just going to balloon up.

[Doug]

Strength is a good measure for this as well. Like, if you're working out and you've just been in this plateau almost for. I mean, some people I've, I've trained, I've been in plateau for like a year, and it's like. And they don't realize that. Oh, yeah, that's a problem. You know, it's just like they're on this continual sort of.

[Adam Schafer]

Hamster wheel.

[Doug]

Yeah, hamster wheel. And when. If you're not getting stronger, if you're not promoting strength in any direction, like, that's a big problem you should address.

[Justin Andrews]

I actually think that that's probably more common than not. Because they normally don't come to you until they've been spinning their wheels for a while unless they have, like, a major health issue that pops up or something. Like you said, like hair loss or something crazy. Most people, it's just they've been in this massive plateau for a year, and they've seen themselves either stabilize or go down in strength. And then finally they're just like, okay, I've tried all the things. And normally trying all the things is adding more stuff to all the stuff they were doing, and it's not getting them the results. And then so finally, okay, let me hire a professional. At that point, you got to reverse all that out.

[Adam Schafer]

That's right. Next up is it destroys your gut health. This is a fact.

[Justin Andrews]

Now, is that just due to the inflammation?

[Adam Schafer]

Inflammation?

[Justin Andrews]

The gut lining, the big part of it, yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

Because when you're chronically inflamed, even if it doesn't feel like lots of pain, your gut. If you get gut inflammation, the. The tight junctions in your gut open lead to those. You get leaky gut syndrome. You start to have food intolerances. It can slow down gastric emptying. So what does that mean? Potential for things like sibo. So oftentimes, people who do this also start to notice gut issues like bloat after eating certain meals. I can't eat the same foods I used to. You know, gas constipation. It can definitely look like that. And there's lots of studies on this, by the way, like hard training athletes who are always. They're always balancing on the line of doing too much and doing enough. Right. Because athletes aren't just about getting stronger and faster. They also have to practice their skill as often as possible. So in many cases, they're training, like, right on that line. You look at the data on gut health issues with athletes, and it's astronomical because they're constantly pushing and training their bodies. And these are athletes who are well trained. We're not even talking about the average person who's over training, which is even much more difficult. And then finally, in my experience, working out a lot, a lot, a lot can oftentimes promote disordered eating. Now what does it look like? Well, it looks like this. Like I just beat the crap out of myself in the gym. I can barely move. I can. I'm gonna eat that burrito or I'm gonna eat that, whatever. Cause I deserve it or. Cause I burned those calories off. Not realizing that you didn't burn that many calories. Yeah, you really didn't burn a lot of calories. Especially been doing it for a long time.

[Doug]

Body gets more efficient each time you do attempt it.

[Adam Schafer]

Absolutely. But this can definitely promote that. Like restrict, restrict, restrict. And then binge. Or on the flip, I binged. Now I'm going to go beat myself up even harder in the gym.

[Doug]

A worst spot.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. I think the most common thing I see in this area is, is the restrict for such a long period of time. And even like the binge, it doesn't look like a binge. In other words, like you have somebody who's like. And this is part of the reason why they just can't figure this out. Is like, man out of my eat like dialed. And dialed to them is like 1200 calories, super low calorie pro. And they do that for long periods of time. And then they finally have like a weekend where they're like, it, I'm just gonna enjoy myself. And it's not like crazy, but it's like enough to put on a substantial amount of body fat on them because they're so used to being so low. And so that's just part of the, like, this doesn't make sense. Like, I'm not. I don't eat fast food. I don't do. They always list off all the things they don't do. But yet I keep putting on this body fat. And it's because they go these long periods of so low of calorie and then they overindulge a little bit. And 600 calories over when you only eat 1200 calories is 50% of your intake. And so you, you're. That 600 calories affects that person differently than somebody who has a roaring metabolism or a healthy metabolism that they consume. Say their maintenance is 2600 calories or 2800 calories a day.

[Adam Schafer]

600 calories. Nothing.

[Justin Andrews]

Nothing. That that person. Person doesn't really feel that effect at all. But the person who doesn't eat that way and then all of a sudden have one day has 600 calories over, which easily can sneak into someone's diet. And now all of a sudden they feel like they put on all this body fat.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah, yeah. When I would. When. When I had clients who got in a really good place. Metabolically fast, metabolism, strong. They go on vacation and they'd come back and they'd be so shocked that they didn't gain all this body fat. When I used to go on vacation, I would gain weight. Yeah. What's happening now? It's like, it's totally different. Your body is not the same. Your metabolism is much faster. All that rest, insulin sensitivity is better. Like, you, you were totally fine. Versus what they might have experienced before, where they take a little bit of time off and go eat. And it's like, oh, my God, what happened? I'm holding all this water. I'm holding all this bloat. All right. I have been reading studies so. Organifies happy drops. Very popular because they lift your mood. So one of the active ingredients, saffron, it. It increases circulating levels of dopamine and serotonin in the brain. There's. Studies show this so makes you happier. You know what else it does that? I found studies on what makes you horny. I'm gonna read you guys some studies on libido and saffron.

[Justin Andrews]

Now, is that actually happening or is that more of a correlation of you're just because you're in a better mood? You're also. Because that's me. That's how I work. Like, if I'm in a good mood, I'm more likely to have sex. If I'm not in a good mood.

[Adam Schafer]

I mean, it's direct. So here's. I'll read some studies for you. There's a 2022 randomized double applying placebo controlled trial found that women 18 to 55 with severe sexual dysfunction, they took just 15 milligrams of saffron twice daily. So 30 milligrams. They showed significant improvements in female sexual function in.

[Justin Andrews]

Wow.

[Adam Schafer]

Particularly in arousal, lubrication, and satisfaction compared to placebo. Another study showed that women taking 30 milligrams of saffron daily for four weeks had increased sexual desire lubrication compared to the placebo group. A 2024 trial.

[Justin Andrews]

Interesting.

[Adam Schafer]

Showed increase in libido, arousal, orgasm, and satisfaction in women with sexual dysfunction in men. Men. They took 20 men with erectile dysfunction for 10 days and they had. I like how these studies crack me up, by the way. Yeah, I'll just read you the study. Improvements in erectile function, including tip and base rigidity and two misses. How do they test that?

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's rigidity.

[Doug]

Just in the tip, though, not the base.

[Adam Schafer]

How do they test machine took four pounds to bend it in half this time. 2018 review of six studies indicate that Saffron significantly improved libido and overall sexual satisfaction.

[Justin Andrews]

Wow.

[Adam Schafer]

In man. Yes.

[Justin Andrews]

Wow. Just like that.

[Adam Schafer]

Particularly, by the way. Particularly.

[Doug]

Can we just hand these out?

[Adam Schafer]

Here's what's interesting. Particularly in those with antidepressant induced erectile dysfunction. So sometimes when people will go on a, like a pretty prescription antidepressant, they'll have issues with sexual function.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, yeah. So that's a common side effect of like S, right? Oh, yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

That's inability to orgasm, that kind of stuff. Wow. Wild, right? So happy drops.

[Justin Andrews]

You said, you said 15 benefits. 15 to 30 milligrams a day. How many of those do you have?

[Adam Schafer]

30 milligrams, Justin.

[Justin Andrews]

Have to eat in order to get.

[Doug]

I mean, I have four, so I.

[Adam Schafer]

Think there's 15 per two or per one.

[Sal Destefano]

For two gummies, there's 30 milligrams.

[Adam Schafer]

There you go.

[Justin Andrews]

Oh, for two is 30.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah. So one is 15.

[Justin Andrews]

Damn, Justin.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah.

[Justin Andrews]

60 times.

[Adam Schafer]

Hey. He just ate six of them.

[Doug]

Keep your distance. All right, that's all I gotta say.

[Adam Schafer]

That that has got to be one of their fastest selling products.

[Justin Andrews]

It is.

[Adam Schafer]

And it just.

[Justin Andrews]

I'm sure after that commercial you just did, it sold out for sure.

[Adam Schafer]

Within.

[Justin Andrews]

I mean, listen, better get on there.

[Adam Schafer]

Don't believe me. Look it up, everybody. And by the way, saffron, it's science, you guys. I gotta tell you guys this also. I was looking it up because, you know, the supplement space, it's garbage. It's like full of lies. Lots and lots and lots of lies. In terms of a company selling. It has this ingredient. Actually, it doesn't. You know what a lot of companies are doing? Huh? So saffron's blowing up. There's a particular extract of it.

[Justin Andrews]

Oh, God.

[Adam Schafer]

So there's Organifi. Uses one called Suffractive. This is the one that you'll see in a lot of studies. It's. It is standardized. It's got the active ingredients. It is.

[Doug]

It's using flour because, I mean, flowers.

[Adam Schafer]

It's a flower. Yeah, it's part of the flower. Yeah. So it's, it's been used in medicine for a long time, natural medicine. But anyway, what companies are doing is they're, is they're not using saffron, they're using a little bit of saffron. Then they're, they're watering it down with like turmeric, which is good for you, but ain't going to give you what saffron does. Yeah, because it's the same color. So the capsules will look orange or whatever and they're just. They're faking it.

[Justin Andrews]

Of course.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah. And there's no, there's no quality control.

[Doug]

Always the snake, you know, because it's a flower.

[Justin Andrews]

They make like. Can you make like a tea out of it then?

[Sal Destefano]

Well, you know, it's used in cooking a lot. Like Persian cooking and things like that. So yeah, you could probably make a saffron tea for sure.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. I mean my, my sister in law, they're all big on like taking like real. Like the real flower. They have one of those. I don't know.

[Adam Schafer]

Oh, do they actually get like dandelions?

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, yeah. And they put them in the. And they have one of those little tea brewing things that. Have you ever seen them before? They're like a little metal thing and then you put. Actually put the real flower.

[Adam Schafer]

That's the way to do it.

[Justin Andrews]

I know, it's cool. And then they have a little candle thing that lets heats under. They're all into it. Like they're.

[Doug]

Yeah, I was wondering about that because my grandma always used to put like dandelions in salad and I was like, why am I eating flowers?

[Adam Schafer]

Oh, really?

[Doug]

Weird. Yeah, I'm like what you just go like grab it outside, just put it on top? Like I'm not an animal.

[Adam Schafer]

That's how we cured every, every illness that our dad, our dog had when I was a kid.

[Doug]

She was on to something.

[Adam Schafer]

My dad would have him eat grass. That was.

[Justin Andrews]

That is a good remedy. And okay, so he's.

[Adam Schafer]

Okay, let him eat grass.

[Justin Andrews]

Now what that is.

[Adam Schafer]

It makes him throw up, I guess.

[Justin Andrews]

No, it does. It totally does. And there's something in grass that makes their stomach.

[Doug]

Sometimes there's.

[Justin Andrews]

I don't know. Well, it gets out. Whatever. So if they're, if they got something.

[Adam Schafer]

Of all things dogs eat, it's grass that makes them puke. I've seen dogs eat all kinds of horrible.

[Justin Andrews]

Well, they, you. They'll do it intentionally themselves. You'll see it when a dog has got an upset stomach or whatever that they'll intentionally eat the grass and throw it, Throw it.

[Doug]

Something in my dogs that they don't even throw up anymore.

[Adam Schafer]

They just eat it.

[Doug]

Just eat it. What do you. They just turn into cows.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah. So saffron, a spice derived from. Yeah, this, the. The crocus sativus flower commonly known as saffron. Saffron crocus. So again, Happy Drops uses the extract from a company that this, this Is where they get the studies from. Is they use, like standardized. Of course.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, yeah. Count on Drew.

[Sal Destefano]

It's the world's most expensive spice.

[Adam Schafer]

It is. It is. How much does it cost? Per. Whatever. Per ounce or per gram.

[Justin Andrews]

Interesting. Now, is that because of how beneficial. Well, it's so rare.

[Sal Destefano]

Very hard to get. So, you know, it's a. The stigma from the flower. The little thing it pokes up from inside the. The flower.

[Adam Schafer]

Oh.

[Justin Andrews]

So it takes a lot.

[Sal Destefano]

So it takes a lot.

[Justin Andrews]

Oh, wow.

[Adam Schafer]

Oh, I didn't know that was the most expensive. Yeah, that's wild. Hey, speaking of tea, the base is that.

[Justin Andrews]

What is that? So in the. Here's a sci fi nerd thing for you. Isn't it always spice is what they. What in the sci fi movies?

[Adam Schafer]

That's just in Dune.

[Justin Andrews]

Oh, I thought the other ones have. Is that. What do you think it is? I think it's saffron.

[Adam Schafer]

No, it's in there. It's in the desert.

[Doug]

It's like crystal meth or something.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah. Dude.

[Justin Andrews]

Do they grow it out there? Is that where they. I can't remember. I don't remember.

[Adam Schafer]

Do they grow what.

[Justin Andrews]

What the. The. The. The spice?

[Adam Schafer]

I don't remember. It's. I think show it.

[Doug]

They mine for it.

[Justin Andrews]

I know they talk about it, but I don't know if. I don't remember recalling the movie ever seeing it.

[Adam Schafer]

Oh, yeah. What does it say? What's the price there, Doug?

[Sal Destefano]

So one gram. It looks like around $15. Wow. One gram.

[Justin Andrews]

That is expensive. What about truffle?

[Adam Schafer]

I mean, does that count? How much is a. That's not a spice, okay? That's a mushroom.

[Justin Andrews]

Why you look over me like, how.

[Adam Schafer]

Much is a gram of weed? Let's try to compare.

[Justin Andrews]

Well, three and a half grams is what you would sell an eighth. That's what it is. So you're talking about like 50 bucks, 40 bucks? Well, now it's down to like 30 bucks these days.

[Adam Schafer]

So it's more expensive than weed? Yeah. Wow, that's crazy.

[Doug]

We should get in the business.

[Adam Schafer]

All right, listen, I t. You brought up tea using your own metal.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

You. You know why everybody should do that?

[Justin Andrews]

Why?

[Adam Schafer]

You know what a high, high source of microplastics tea bags are?

[Justin Andrews]

Oh, God.

[Doug]

Really?

[Adam Schafer]

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

[Justin Andrews]

Really?

[Doug]

A lot are we just finding.

[Justin Andrews]

And you're dumping hot water on it?

[Adam Schafer]

That's right. Wow. That's right. So buy loose. Loose leaves.

[Justin Andrews]

Okay. I gotta think in the. In the herbal tea world, because that's very hippie esque. That There would be like tea bags that they've made that are like non. That's got to be a thing, right.

[Doug]

Dude, Are we slowly turning into.

[Justin Andrews]

There's got to be like some made out of hemp or something that is way healthier and better for you. There's no way.

[Sal Destefano]

I'm sure there's something.

[Justin Andrews]

I know everybody's making tea bags out of these microplastics and we just know.

[Adam Schafer]

Whatever saying there are bags that are made out of a paper.

[Justin Andrews]

There's got to be.

[Adam Schafer]

But then most bags now are made out of like. Like plastic. Like. Like little fine fibers, you know, because consumers like them better.

[Justin Andrews]

Why wouldn't we use like hemp for something like that?

[Sal Destefano]

I mean you can get cotton tea bags.

[Adam Schafer]

There you go.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah.

[Sal Destefano]

So there's other ways to do it.

[Justin Andrews]

Obviously, but the normal like Lipton one, right. So. Oh yeah.

[Sal Destefano]

That's probably plastic.

[Adam Schafer]

Oh yeah.

[Justin Andrews]

Such bullshit.

[Adam Schafer]

I know you'd probably drink the most tea, Honda man.

[Justin Andrews]

I drink a lot of tea.

[Sal Destefano]

I don't drink a lot of tea actually.

[Justin Andrews]

Tea every other night.

[Adam Schafer]

What kind of tea?

[Justin Andrews]

I like the chamomile.

[Adam Schafer]

Oh yeah, that's the best. Is that cuz I taught you that or you drink it before?

[Justin Andrews]

I. No, we've always had that. Katrina's. Katrina is a big tea drink. Her whole family are like. We have one of the. Like I said the little candle. We have all that stuff. I have but I know I honestly I just throw the bag in there. But I mean I had no idea.

[Adam Schafer]

It'S full of plastic. Yeah, my. I have in laws that are English. The English are crazy about tea.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, that's. Everything is around tea.

[Adam Schafer]

When they come visit, she brings her own tea. She actually flies and brings it to my house. Like what you probably wrote.

[Justin Andrews]

I mean Katrina's her. Her. My sister in law's like that. She shows up and she's. She comes with her tea. You know what I'm saying?

[Adam Schafer]

I got. I got more bad news for you, Adam. Something you love doing. Did you know that scented candles are some of the worst, worst offenders I'm bringing.

[Justin Andrews]

I'm bringing the cancer.

[Adam Schafer]

I don't even care. Oh come on, don't joke like that.

[Doug]

I mean isn't there.

[Justin Andrews]

It's just like no way I'm getting.

[Doug]

Rid of that are like these fat and there are.

[Adam Schafer]

And I'll get to that. But scented candles.

[Doug]

I was talking to Cordyce.

[Adam Schafer]

Often contain phthalates which are xenoestrogens which bind your estrogen receptors. You know how you say you get sensitive nipples. It might be from this. Then there's also. There's also volatile organic compounds, semi volatile organic compounds, and particulate matter. Did you know some scented candles produce as much particulate matter as exhaust? Yeah, dude. Yeah, bro. So you're smelling what you're smelling in. It's just bad, bro.

[Doug]

It is not just lovely toxic.

[Adam Schafer]

It is not good. All right, so there's some. There's some good options for you, bro.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, but how much does it level up a night of sex, though? It's like. And do you have to ask yourself, like, is that worth it?

[Doug]

I thought you did it by yourself. And then head like that, too, all the time.

[Sal Destefano]

Okay, so I've replaced all my candles with actual beeswax candles.

[Adam Schafer]

There you go.

[Sal Destefano]

Unscented. They smell great.

[Justin Andrews]

That's unscented. Smells great.

[Sal Destefano]

Yeah, it smells like beeswax.

[Justin Andrews]

Okay, well, I told you that the, the listener who sent me some, like, vanilla smelling one that I don't have to burn. Just sitting in the room puts off this incredible smell.

[Adam Schafer]

It just throws off chemicals. Yeah, no, it's probably scented oil.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

So you can use scented oils. Yeah, not scented oils, but there's like, organic oils, essential oils.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, we use essential oil.

[Adam Schafer]

That. That'll do it. You can also get beeswax. The problem with beeswax, they burn fast and they're expensive.

[Sal Destefano]

And they, they're bright, though.

[Adam Schafer]

They're great. Oh, they're more bright. They're more bright. Yeah. Yeah. We used to burn candles.

[Justin Andrews]

Use candles at your house a lot. A lot. You are a big candle guy, too. See, you know, just let me take all the heat. But you don't ever step in and.

[Sal Destefano]

Say, no, I don't get scented candles. I, I've gotten rid of those years ago.

[Justin Andrews]

But you do the bathtub and candle thing too.

[Doug]

I don't do baths to organic smells.

[Sal Destefano]

I don't do bathtubs. But I love candles, actually, almost every dinner, I, I. If I have somebody over, I will have candles. No, I don't. With a violin playing in the background.

[Adam Schafer]

Lighting a candle by himself. You know, Dylan, you know what this is? What's happening here? This is when Doug and Adam are on the phone late at night with each other.

[Justin Andrews]

Oh, here comes the jealousy.

[Adam Schafer]

And they're talking about jealous.

[Justin Andrews]

Not really jealous, because no one calls him.

[Adam Schafer]

Now Justin and I are sending each other memes.

[Doug]

Yeah, we send memes. Yeah, like weird shit.

[Justin Andrews]

What are you talking about? Justin does not answer his phone once he leaves here.

[Doug]

Yeah, it's true.

[Adam Schafer]

True. Once Justin Leaves here. His phone's on him, and I both.

[Justin Andrews]

I'm driving.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah.

[Justin Andrews]

I was like, he can't be driving nine hours. Sorry. I'm driving. I'm like, this guy is not driving.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah, he does.

[Justin Andrews]

He puts that. He puts that.

[Doug]

Hey, don't expose my hat.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, it took me a while to figure it out because I feel like I go text him. Adam, just text me. I'm like, he's like. He's like, I'm driving outside.

[Adam Schafer]

He's literally texting me, you back. I'm driving right now.

[Justin Andrews]

It's not even the automated one. They're spelling errors. I'm like, wait a second. IPhone doesn't misspell that.

[Doug]

I'm telling you, it's brilliant.

[Adam Schafer]

You guys, I'm on to your bullshit, dude. Speaking of cancers, did you guys know what the most common cancer in young men is? I just said we have to talk about this because we got young men that listen.

[Justin Andrews]

In young men.

[Adam Schafer]

In young men.

[Justin Andrews]

It's not prostate cancer.

[Adam Schafer]

Between age. I think it's 18 to 35 or something like that. What's the most common cancer? Colon. Nope.

[Doug]

Skin cancer.

[Adam Schafer]

Nope. Testicular cancer.

[Justin Andrews]

Testicular still is, I would guess. Prostate would have been, like, for.

[Adam Schafer]

No. Testicular cancer is a young man. Cancer typically doesn't mean you can't get it when you get older.

[Justin Andrews]

So what. Why. What's so different about that and, like, prostate cancer and why. Why one's on your balls? No, I know, but I mean, like, you would think they're closely related as far as how you would get them and why.

[Adam Schafer]

No, no, not at all. No, not at all. But. But. But, yeah, testicular cancer. So I did. What I did is I looked up because here's the thing about testicular cancer. Very curable, usually, because people often notice it right away, and it gets treated. We gotta get rid of one of them sometimes. Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose it. You gotta lose a tesi. And then the other one picks up the work of the one that you lost. But what from, though? What is it from?

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, like, how do you like fondling them too much? Like, what are you gonna. I feel like all the help. All the moms. All the moms are saying that to their boys. You keep playing with that that much, and you might get testicular cancer. Like the Harry Palm thing that everyone can give yourself testicular cancer.

[Adam Schafer]

You keep playing with. I don't know how you do it. Adams. All right. Sorry, Doug. This went too far. Anyway, speaking of which, you brought it up. I put. I, I, I I had to. I said, we got to educate people. So self. Self checks are very important. So what you do essentially is. Is you. Once a month, you're supposed to check your testicles, and you're looking for consistency, symmetry.

[Doug]

Testicles.

[Adam Schafer]

Testicles, yeah. And you don't want what you're looking for. Or lumps or hard nodules is what you're looking for. Now, there are natural things in the testicles, like the epidimitis, I think. I'm not saying that. Right. The spermatic cord, these are naturally on there, but you're looking for hard lumps, swelling, asymmetries. And so when men do this, the. The. The risk is super low because once you catch it, it gets treated very easily. Yeah.

[Justin Andrews]

Now, what are you reading to come across something like that? How does this come up?

[Adam Schafer]

I. I was trying to think of things to talk about on the podcast. I looked it up.

[Doug]

Well, I mean, every physical, that was, like, part of the protocol. Right. And until they started to, like, suggest, hey, you can do this and check it yourself. I told you my story about that.

[Adam Schafer]

I got an awkward.

[Justin Andrews]

I remember I shared my.

[Doug]

Yeah, I was just already ready. I'm like, pants off.

[Justin Andrews]

A lot of creep back then.

[Doug]

Yeah. It wasn't even a doctor came in. It was a doctor dude.

[Adam Schafer]

Some guy. It's a front desk kid. Do you have experience?

[Doug]

It was a lady, and she was a doctor.

[Adam Schafer]

Okay. I thought I had scared her. I told you, I. Guys, I thought I had an issue because I was hyp at this point. I had somebody in my family just. You think you have an issue? Well, listen, I was traumatized. Somebody in my family was young, they got cancer and they died. And I was hypervigilant for a little while, and I was taking a shower one day, and I thought, oh, what? What is this? So I was so scared that I went to the doctor, had them examine me. They're like, no, you're fine. I said, no, I want an ultrasound. I did the whole thing.

[Justin Andrews]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Schafer]

Like, you're fine, bro. Yeah, but I was. I was a little hypochondriac, like your normal guy.

[Justin Andrews]

Just some of them look weird, that's all.

[Adam Schafer]

Speaking of awkward, how awkward was that? God, I'm not a fan. I know you aren't either. When we have to do these, like, like, shoots and commercials. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Doug]

Oh, you guys actually went to Vuori the other day.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah.

[Doug]

To do the shoot.

[Justin Andrews]

I was explaining that to them when we. When we do that, because a couple when we were in Vuori A couple people that worked there are. Were fans of the show. So they were all excited for us to come in there and do that. And I was telling them just, like, how much we just don't like to do that.

[Adam Schafer]

They're like, really?

[Justin Andrews]

Why? And I'm just like. I just. I feel like everything that we do is authentic. I mean, it's just. We just come on here, we have conversation. We don't edit anything. It is what it is, right? It's the most authentic thing we do.

[Adam Schafer]

Like, okay, you're gonna walk into the store.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, I would never.

[Doug]

And that's why everybody roasts us on it.

[Justin Andrews]

I know.

[Doug]

All the time. Because I get it.

[Justin Andrews]

I get it. And it's. And I love their products. Yeah. We've been with them for a long time. Yeah, yeah. No, very valuable. They do a good. I. I what? I will say this, though.

[Doug]

Fury drip, head to toe.

[Justin Andrews]

Is that viewer? Yeah, the white one.

[Doug]

This is my favorite shirt they make. Yeah.

[Justin Andrews]

Oh, wow.

[Adam Schafer]

What is it called?

[Doug]

I don't know.

[Adam Schafer]

Thank you, Doug. Find out what that is, please. Is that the meta shirt?

[Justin Andrews]

No, no, no, no, that's something else.

[Adam Schafer]

That one looks good, dude.

[Doug]

It's softer because it's got a thicker material too.

[Adam Schafer]

I got one too. Yeah, I got a brown one. Yeah, I have a brown one.

[Justin Andrews]

I don't think I have.

[Doug]

It's my favorite one.

[Adam Schafer]

So it's like the T shirts, but it's a little. It's a little soft.

[Justin Andrews]

I can tell.

[Doug]

It's a little softer and thicker.

[Justin Andrews]

Thicker but stretchy looking.

[Doug]

The stratotech was the one I was wearing before. I remember that one, but.

[Adam Schafer]

Oh, that's. Yeah, that's what it was called. Yeah. So it's a little softer than the traditional stratotech.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

Which is way nice. But, yeah, we're in there and they're like, you know. All right, I'm gonna film you walking in. Okay, now walking again. Now I'm gonna film you from this angle, walking. How many times am I walking?

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

And you're filming me. And then I forget how to walk when someone's recording me and I'm supposed to be walking in. I'm like, am I walking weird? Like, I never think of this. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[Doug]

Don't look like you're concentrating too much.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah. At one point, I walked in with one hand in my pocket. Like, I never walk like that.

[Doug]

I forget how to, like, open doors when I'm doing stuff.

[Justin Andrews]

What do I do with my hands.

[Adam Schafer]

And Then we had to pretend like we were shopping for our wives.

[Justin Andrews]

Which you probably never have done.

[Adam Schafer]

Actually, I do. I do. I don't shop for her. Yeah. But if I'm at the store, I'll typically see.

[Doug]

Pick up some leggings. Just be like.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah, well, that's what I was.

[Justin Andrews]

While he was recording, I was over there talking shit like, this guy has never done this before. He has no idea what he's doing right now.

[Adam Schafer]

I do. I know my wife's size and everything.

[Justin Andrews]

Dude, you really.

[Adam Schafer]

I do.

[Justin Andrews]

Okay, that's good. You know, your wife said that that's like. Should be a good, like.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah, well, Justin, marriage trivia just in like workout apparel though. Don't ask me like anything else. But like, I know the. The bottoms for her. I know that what the tops are.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, all that stuff. That's good. That's good.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah.

[Justin Andrews]

Hey, speaking of relationships, I had something I was going to ask you guys started a conversation here. What is something that a past relationship has taught you about yourself?

[Adam Schafer]

Huh? I don't know. You go first.

[Justin Andrews]

No, you can't think of something in a past relationship spot. I mean, I mean, were you that good? Were you like, you that good of a guy that you just didn't like? You didn't have any? Well, of course. So it's like, this is just hard.

[Adam Schafer]

I gotta narrow it down. Give me some time, dude. Just blurt some stuff out.

[Justin Andrews]

What about you, Justin?

[Doug]

Not to be.

[Justin Andrews]

I'm gonna get you too.

[Doug]

People pleaser, huh? Not to appease and please all the time. Oh, that was a mistake I made with a lot of my previous relationships.

[Justin Andrews]

So what would you do? Like, what would be like an example of like. Like you.

[Doug]

Like, I'd accommodate like all the things, like go to all the events and all the things that you.

[Justin Andrews]

Deep down inside you.

[Doug]

I didn't want to be there and wouldn't. It wouldn't communicate it.

[Adam Schafer]

You were at the Britney Spears concert.

[Doug]

Yeah, just my shirt over my head, you know. This sucks. Yeah.

[Justin Andrews]

Now would that lead to. Would it lead to later, like resentment and fights later on or just more. Justin suppressing stuff?

[Doug]

Yeah, more suppressing thing. More like. Yeah. I just didn't feel like I was ever. Yeah.

[Justin Andrews]

I think it.

[Doug]

I don't know if it was like resentment necessarily. It was more just like I didn't feel like a aspect big of a part of the relationship. Like I was just like doing whatever.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah.

[Doug]

To appease them. And I don't know, it just. It gets to a point where you just don't you don't communicate anything you need at that point, it just becomes like the. Please this person show.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. Yeah. You know. Okay, so what is it like when it comes up now? Do you. Can you recall, like, how.

[Adam Schafer]

What.

[Justin Andrews]

The conversation you have to have with yourself that. To work through it or help? Like, do you like. Okay, here's one of those situations.

[Doug]

I don't want desired outcome thing for me now is more like, is this like a. Some.

[Justin Andrews]

Something.

[Doug]

A point of contention that, like, is a pattern or something that I need to address? Like, I don't. I really don't like doing this. You know, I need to express that and, like, stop that. Or is this something that, like, you know, I kind of balance it a lot now?

[Justin Andrews]

You and Doug are so similar in so many ways. That is such a. That's a thing that you have too.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah.

[Sal Destefano]

I mean, I was going to say boundaries. Setting boundaries in the relationship because, like, Justin, I'm just trying to keep the peace, you know? Keep the peace.

[Adam Schafer]

But the.

[Sal Destefano]

The boundary wasn't there.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah.

[Sal Destefano]

And you get walked on, actually.

[Doug]

Well, I'm very vocal about it now. I don't put up with. Yeah. Completely the other end of that. Yeah. I think because. Yeah, I just realized that it was pointless for me because I didn't feel like it was a team. It wasn't like an equal relationship. It was very, like, pedestal kind of thing.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[Adam Schafer]

There you go. I don't. What's one for me? I don't like to share struggles or.

[Justin Andrews]

Ask for help, which is why this is so difficult right now for you. It's like.

[Adam Schafer]

No, I don't. I don't like it. It feels very uncomfortable. If I'm useful, I feel like I can be loved. If I'm not useful, why would anybody like me? Right. So this is like the. The challenge. So not being useful is like, when you're useful to me. Well, now I feel like I'm a burden.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

So I just don't share.

[Justin Andrews]

So what did. So what did that look like in past relationships and then when it manifests today? Like, how do you.

[Adam Schafer]

Well, I'll tell you. When I. When I was in my previous marriage, when I got divorced, most people in my family were shocked because they didn't know the struggles and challenges. Never told anybody, so they just had no idea. And it was, you know, it was 10 years of struggle and challenge. So what does that look like now? Oh, now I. Well, prayer helped a lot with that because it's impossible not to be Honest and vulnerable when you're talking to the. To the guy that knows everything. So. So that helped a lot. And then I share. I think I share more now than I did before.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, I think you've. I think I've seen that in just the 10 years we've been together. I think I've seen you.

[Adam Schafer]

It will.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. Open up and share those things that I didn't feel like you ever did when we first started. So that's pretty good.

[Adam Schafer]

What's yours? Do you have one? I have a lot.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. I've got all kinds of. I'm a mess, you know, one of the. Mine's attached to. We. We've talked about this before, about insecurity of being successful, being smart, being all the things. And so I used to attract a lot of girls that I was like, the daddy, the teacher in the relationship.

[Adam Schafer]

You feel secure.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

And.

[Justin Andrews]

And what's so hard about that is that it feels good. Right. So I. I would date these girls, and, you know, I have the answer. I got it, you know, and, like, And. And I like that. And it made me feel important, made me feel smart, made me feel that way. And then what would always end up happening is after months or even a year of dating that person, you realize how exhausting that is and how you're like, I don't. Is this really the type of partnership that I want to be in? Like, so it took a long time to realize how attracted I was to that thing that fed my insecurity, you know, and, like. And to. To break that, because, again, it makes. It always initially makes me feel good. And so learning that that's not what I want in a partnership. And so a couple relationships before Katrina, so two relationships before her, I had pieces. I was about 27 when I finally figured out, because I could look back, and even though all the women that I dated were all very different, they all had that thing in common. They had that, like, I was the teacher, I was the daddy in the relationship. And I thought I liked that. And then when I realized, like, no, it was. It was really difficult to go the other direction. It was actually initially those girls that I would try dating was like, I had to, like, I didn't have a natural pull to them. I'm like, I need to try this. I need to try dating a woman that I feel I can learn from or that we can build together and do that. And so it was an uncomfortable, awkward. Now, by the time I got to Katrina, I had started to piece that together. And then obviously, I see what happens when I find the right partnership that's not like that. Now the challenge when I get the right partner, like her, who is an incredible teammate that I can learn from, is then the. The old still wanting to be right and be daddy. Those things. And it's like, yeah, I know this is what I want and what I need for myself. So every once in a. Well, when it rears its head that I feel I need that. It's like the. The check myself in those moments. But I think it's so interesting how these two have such similar.

[Doug]

Yeah, that's like, an example of, like, one serious girlfriend. Like, I wasn't. I. I. There was a lot of different, like, instances where I acted differently. It was weird.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah.

[Doug]

So I. I wasn't always, like. It was somebody that was, like, I felt was outside my league. Oh. That I was like that with.

[Justin Andrews]

Okay.

[Doug]

And then it was, like, kind of.

[Justin Andrews]

Felt like you needed to do all that.

[Doug]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was just like, that self confidence I had, but it was like when in that situation, I felt like less than. So therefore, I was, like, trying to appease them, you know, and, like, do all this extra stuff. And then I was like, what the fuck am I doing? You know?

[Adam Schafer]

And then. Did you break up with her?

[Doug]

No. Yes. And then. And then went back to her like a total bitch.

[Justin Andrews]

And then she broke up with me.

[Adam Schafer]

So she would.

[Doug]

Yes.

[Adam Schafer]

What? I let her win. Dude.

[Doug]

Why'D you bring that up? I don't care, dude.

[Adam Schafer]

I don't care.

[Justin Andrews]

I'm winning. That's hilarious.

[Adam Schafer]

I looked up controversial parenting topics, Adam, per your suggestion.

[Justin Andrews]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

And I have two of them that I think are. Are probably. Let me hear good discussions.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

One of them is for parental leave for fathers. So mothers get parental leave. Is this a good thing for fathers to do, to take a month off to be with their newborn?

[Justin Andrews]

Well, I think the way you're wording it. How can you say no? It wouldn't be good. Do I think it's necessary, or do I think we should do it?

[Adam Schafer]

No, you don't think it's necessary?

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, No, I don't think it's. So I think that. I mean, this is the one beautiful thing about a partnership and a relationship. I think we provide different things. I think in the early stages, the baby is so attached to the mother and the nurturing part that, you know that I'm gonna go out there and hunt, and I. And. And is when I get home, I'm definitely gonna do all the things still as I was with Max. But I don't think that's something that we necessarily. Now you worded it though, would it be good? Like, sure, it could be good. I could see it would be good. Especially if you, if you're in a position where you could financially do that and, and do. And we kind of were when, when I, when we had Max and so I did have the flexibility, you guys let me cut out of here early and do all those things. But I definitely don't think that should be a government funded thing that we decide that we're going to like all pay taxes towards so that guys can also take fucking six months off. Like, no bro, go hunt.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah, I don't know. So I, I agree. My controversial take, I agree, but I disagree for different reasons. So I agree that it's not like a necessary. I think it's very important for mom to be there with baby, you know, for the first few months. The data on this is very clear. I think it's obvious to you. I don't think I need to make the argument a baby's connected to mom literally. And then when the baby's born, still, you know, connected very closely. I think though, it's important for fathers not for the same reasons. I think it's important for fathers to care for mom. So mom's there for baby, mom needs husband to care for her.

[Justin Andrews]

That's an interesting point.

[Adam Schafer]

And the data on.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, but a mother's health, do they.

[Doug]

Parse out though, like having grandma there?

[Adam Schafer]

I was just gonna say historically how it's worked in societies forever was that grandma sister was with her for a little while for that beaming stage. And the data on the health of a mother and how well she's able to, you know, be a mom to her children is crazy. And these days, unfortunately, a lot of that falls on the. Fortunately or unfortunately, a lot of that falls on the husband. Because we don't live in communities like we used to. So many people are like, you know, where's, where's mom? Where's mother in law? Well, everybody lives far away.

[Justin Andrews]

So I totally agree with that. And that the point you where I didn't even think of it from that perspective. And for that reason. That being said though, that's a cultural problem that we have that I totally. The solution isn't give dads this time off so they could do that. It would be more like express what you just said and get back to why it is so important that we have.

[Adam Schafer]

I think the cultural point is a big one. Because what we've done is we've put, culturally, we value the pursuit of career so high that we've actually put it above things that are more important. And so it's like a note now people don't even consider how important that is that you have that kind of support when you have a baby.

[Justin Andrews]

But I mean, I think that's part of what dad is off is hunting, you know, if we take it back all the way, I mean, that's. So that's what you're. Why you still keep doing that. Because that's also, in a sense, providing for mom. Like, that's.

[Adam Schafer]

Oh, yeah, that's like, that's number one.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

We don't got lights on.

[Justin Andrews]

Exactly.

[Adam Schafer]

Go get a job.

[Justin Andrews]

So that's what I mean, it's like. So most people do not have that. Most men aren't going to have that luxury to where they could take that off and then. And the only way to give that luxury to all men would be to governmently fund that and that. I'm not, I'm not. I don't agree.

[Adam Schafer]

So it's a good. It's a great discussion. I'm glad we're going here. So I don't know if couples, I think, I don't know I'm going to make a judgment. I could be totally wrong. But I don't think couples consider this and plan for it. Like, the way I'm saying it, for example, we're gonna have a baby. Let's save enough money so that I don't work for 30 days and I can be with you to support you. And I don't know if I think what men think of I need to get a job and have money to support you, but do they think I need to have enough to support you? So I don't work for the first 30 days since my mom, your mom, sisters, nobody's around, I need to be here, you know, with you type of deal. But I don't know, I just. I think we've put it in like this. We categorize it so strangely now, which is like, yeah, you're home for a week and then you go back to work and nobody's here.

[Doug]

But the statistics are on people that just live paycheck to paycheck versus people that actually save money.

[Justin Andrews]

They have statistics on that.

[Doug]

So high.

[Justin Andrews]

They have statistics on that.

[Doug]

So I mean, to have.

[Justin Andrews]

I don't know that you would never happen.

[Doug]

Yeah, so.

[Justin Andrews]

So that's right. So all valid points you're making. Yeah, but that would require the relationship that we as a culture that we have with money. And that's not happening. So you know how if like, let's say we have cultural shift, men should do that for all those reasons. Okay, well, how do we do it? Oh, let's put something in place. We wouldn't, we wouldn't solve it the way we should, which is like, hey man, we should probably consider before we have this kid. I'm gonna, I'm gonna squirrel away, you know, a few hundred bucks every single week or month until we do have a kid so that I can afford to the time.

[Adam Schafer]

Here's why. I'll back you up 100%. If it's not a cultural societal thing and understanding and we do make it so that men don't work for 30 days, there's a lot of guys that'll just do nothing.

[Justin Andrews]

Totally.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

Say, oh, cool, I'm off. Yeah, I'm here. You know, but they're not. The culture isn't like, no, no, you need to care for mom.

[Justin Andrews]

Right.

[Adam Schafer]

So she can care for baby. You need to make her feel safe and secure and healthy and feed her. Because that's a tough period for if you don't have kids and you're about to have a child like mom goes through.

[Justin Andrews]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

Very difficult. War is very difficult.

[Justin Andrews]

That's like everyday war. No sleep all day long, eating, baby stuck to you. Yeah. Yeah. So I, I mean, that's you, you bring such a good point up. Problem is that the solution to me is not like companies now.

[Adam Schafer]

It needs to be heart change.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. Because I, I would not agree as a, as a company that we would, we would pay taxes. Oh, you bet your ass. That's the angle.

[Adam Schafer]

I'm going to come from our places.

[Justin Andrews]

You are not getting that.

[Adam Schafer]

Save your money. Yeah.

[Justin Andrews]

Save your own money. But yeah, no, I think it's a hard change thing.

[Adam Schafer]

I agree with you.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah.

[Justin Andrews]

But yeah, good, good point. Good. Interesting. That's controversial.

[Adam Schafer]

Very, very controversial. Absolutely. You have culture, There are cultures that. This is a big deal. Most of these cultures are homogenous. Meaning, like you go to some countries.

[Doug]

Yes.

[Adam Schafer]

The culture, everybody's the same. Everybody has the same beliefs, everybody, same ideas. This is part of their culture. And if you're a man and you go to work, you know, two weeks after you have a baby, your co.

[Doug]

Workers will all their families usually in like close proximity because they value that aspect of it. It's already assumed within the family dynamic and the structure that like, you know, the elders are going to come in. They're going to help out and all this while work. And I mean, there's definite power in that and it helps to benefit the kids development. So, you know, there's something there. It's just we, we don't have that established culturally.

[Adam Schafer]

I heard a woman, I thought this was the best litmus test. She said, the way we should judge ideas in society or government even is let's judge them by how they affect the most vulnerable of us, which are babies and children. So anytime somebody says, here's this idea that I have, how does it affect babies and children? Interesting, the specific topic that she was talking about, but I love this litmus test for anything. Was polyamory. Polyamory a good thing? She's like, how would it affect the children of these relationships? That's how we should judge whether or not. Whether or not you think it's a good idea for you. But how would it affect the most vulnerable? Which are.

[Justin Andrews]

I love, I love that.

[Adam Schafer]

I think that's a great litmus test for anything.

[Justin Andrews]

Well, a great lens to look through as far as making the decisions. Like, I mean, that is similar to what I've. I've said one of the neatest things about having my son was it just changed the lens at which I looked through everything that I made a decision for. So when I didn't have him, the decision to work the extra hour or to go do the thing or buy the stuff or whatever was always just like me, my needs, can I. Can I not what I want? And that has shifted so much. Just simply by going like, oh, what. What will my son think? Or how would I explain that to him if he ever asked me? So I always just try. I just. It's. Now it's natural. I don't have to actively think about it. So the first thing I default to is just like, you know, okay, if my son was there and I had to explain myself why I did that thing, whatever, like, how would I communicate that to him? And if I find myself fumbling in.

[Adam Schafer]

My brain to how do I defend this?

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, defending it. It's just like, that's. The answer is no, then it's not. It's not good. It's not a good idea. And so I love that idea of looking through that lens, but just don't see us.

[Adam Schafer]

By the way, left turn. Do we. Do we have applicants? Have we started looking at the applicants for training positions here every day?

[Justin Andrews]

We are.

[Adam Schafer]

So we're still getting a ton. We're getting more.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, but I mean. Yeah, bring them on, though. I mean, we, Kyle and Katrina are consistently going through and taking interviews and we're looking at everybody.

[Adam Schafer]

It is. So if you work for Mind Pump, that means you're actually an employee of ours as a trainer or a coach. You are, you are. This is an incredible place to work because of our abundance of leads. So the business is just incredible. That being said, one of the hardest places to get hired, to be a trainer, coach, straight up. But if you think you have what it takes, go to Mind Pump Personal training. What is it, Doug? Mindpump Personal training dot com. Apply and see if you got what it takes. Everybody has to go through an internship process. I don't care how great you think you are, you're going to go through a period of being here for a little while for us to see if you're somebody that we would be happy representing Mind Pump. But if you think you got what it takes, you want to be a trainer here, go to mindpumppersonaltraining.com apply. Seed is the world's best probiotic, hands down. If you want the benefits of a probiotic, better skin, better energy, of course, better digestion, go with seed. Check them out. Go to seed.com mindpump. Use the code 25. Mindpump. Get 25% off. Back to the show.

[Sal Destefano]

Our first question is from Shamonk7. How do I practice bracing for exercises like squats do?

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah. So you know what's funny about this? This is one of those things.

[Justin Andrews]

Well, I'll.

[Adam Schafer]

I'll go over what you should focus on, but this is one of those things where if you focus too much on it, it becomes a problem. Sometimes it's like, think about blinking right now. You're feeling weird every time you blink your eyes or whatever. It's like a natural thing. So bracing while you squat essentially just means you're just. You're just tightening up your core. Now, what does that look like? Well, pretend like someone's going to poke you in the ribs and you kind of brace up, like someone's going to tickle you. That's what it's like. That being said, don't overthink it because I've had people do this where they brace so hard the whole time they get fatigued by rep number five. And I'm like, no, no, like you can breathe. Like you could relax a little bit in between. What you want to do is you want to brace when you're about to do the rep. So bars on your back. You ready to go down? Brace your core, go down to the squat. Come up, take a couple deep breaths. Now you can relax your core before you take the next rep. Brace and do it again. That's for the people who find themselves feeling like, I don't know what to do. What you don't do is you pull in your midsection. I've heard people say that that's not how you brace. And then also, wearing a weight belt changes this completely. When you wear a weight belt, bracing looks different. You're actually pushing out against the belt with your core to create stability, which is a very different bracing technique than doing it without a.

[Doug]

But you want to imagine somebody about to punch you in stomach.

[Adam Schafer]

Yep.

[Doug]

I mean, and be able to breathe throughout that process. As simple as that.

[Justin Andrews]

So that. So this is how. That's how I used to coach to a client. And I would actually have them figure it out. Like, because the bracing part, I don't find is. Is the most difficult part. It's the breathing while also bracing. And so the way you practice that is like, okay, so I just. I'm bracing right now.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah.

[Justin Andrews]

So you should still be able to have dialogue and conversation while also creating that brace. That's the way you practice that. Because if you are bracing so hard, you're holding your breath and. And you're getting that it's not right. Like, I should be able to brace and stand here or sit here and talk to you normal. And nobody else knows but me. I know that I'm bracing my core right now. If you can get to that place. That's what it looks like when you go into these movements, like squatting and deadlifting is you should be able to brace your brace and still breathe.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah. Now, here's what it looks like when you know, if you want to get real technical. It's like before I do my rep, I take a deep breath in, brace. I go down. On the way up, I breathe out. But the breathing out sounds like. Or it's coming out. It's coming out with. With intention and with. With bracing. It's not this loose breath out. At the top of the rep, you can relax a little bit and catch your breath and then do it again. And if you're strong, this is how you're supposed to lift. If you're strong, you brace, you breathe in, you brace, go down, tighten things up, come up as you're coming up, you breathe out with this kind of real controlled, forceful type breath. But most people, I think, relax around this. Focusing too much on breathing and bracing leads to some weird bracing and Breathing.

[Doug]

Weird and dysfunctional and you get lightheaded.

[Adam Schafer]

Yep.

[Sal Destefano]

Next question is from chonky beast. Can very dry skin and lips, despite constantly moisturizing, drinking 2 to 3 liters of water a day and lowering weekly weight training volume be a sign of overtraining?

[Adam Schafer]

It can, but it's more likely a sign of something else.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. Dehydrate.

[Doug]

Just imagine somebody's.

[Adam Schafer]

Constantly doing.

[Justin Andrews]

Stop doing.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah.

[Justin Andrews]

Stop doing.

[Doug]

If you do that all the time.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah. This is a problem when I see dudes on, like, dating shows and they'll walk out, like, doing, like, what are you scheming?

[Doug]

Like, what are you doing with your hands?

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah. Anyway, this could be a sign of a B vitamin deficiency or a nutrient deficiency.

[Justin Andrews]

Could be signs of dehydration too. Right.

[Adam Schafer]

Can. But they're drinking, you know, two, three liters.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, but what about with sodium or having some.

[Doug]

Maybe your electrolyte balance, maybe bump your.

[Adam Schafer]

Sodium a little bit. But look at your fatty acid profile. This will happen. Your fat intake is too low.

[Doug]

Fat intake.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah. So if you're like. If you're like, you know, I've had female clients like this where they're afraid of eating over 40 grams of fat and they have skin issues. I'd have them bump their fat intake and then lo and behold, their skin looks amazing. So look at fat. Fat intake. Look at nutrient deficiencies. B vitamin deficiencies can call. Can cause chapping of the lips and the tongue or, you know, like redness on the tongue. And then. And then maybe you need a little bit of sodium in your water. But if you're constantly dry and, you know, skin and lips, it. There's something missing. Something missing.

[Sal Destefano]

Next question is from Rainbow Mom 3 for those on a GLP1. Is it more important to hit your protein target or strength train in the event you're struggling to consistently hit protein but are consistent with strength training ultimately? Is that okay?

[Adam Schafer]

I like caveat. I like the caveat. Because here's a person that says that they constantly struggle with protein intake, but they never miss workouts.

[Justin Andrews]

Right? Right. It's for sure. Protein.

[Adam Schafer]

Therefore, what's important for them.

[Justin Andrews]

Protein.

[Adam Schafer]

Protein. Now, if it was the flip, I always miss my workouts. My protein's great all the time.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. Right.

[Adam Schafer]

So this is an easy one. And this is a great illustration of the individual, you know, value of these kinds of.

[Doug]

That's the focus right there.

[Adam Schafer]

Pieces of advice. If. Which one is the one that you miss the most? Well, that's probably the one that you.

[Justin Andrews]

Need to be more, especially in the context of a GLP1, because you know that they're eating low calorie, so they're, if you're really low calorie and you're low protein and you're training like you're, you're gonna break down muscle, you're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna lose muscle like that. And so hitting your protein intake is extremely important. And especially if you already say that you're really consistent with the workouts, it's like, yeah, you, you'd be better off missing that workout and hitting your protein intake than vice versa for this client.

[Adam Schafer]

That's right.

[Sal Destefano]

Next question is from dad Fit Life. In today's world, it's easy for men to isolate themselves and sacrifice their hobbies and friendships for their family's well being. How do you guys juggle responsibility as a father and husband while still keeping some friends and hobbies that you enjoy doing?

[Adam Schafer]

You know, you just. Here's what's interesting about this.

[Doug]

Nothing's balanced.

[Adam Schafer]

Yeah. And also things change. So the message that you can do it all like you have kids, nothing changes.

[Doug]

The biggest lie, that's horseshit.

[Adam Schafer]

That's bull. That's crap. Your priorities change and so things look different. I'll give you an example. If I'm an athlete, I'm a college athlete and I'm working out, the reason why I'm working out is for maximum athletic performance. So my workouts are for that later. If I'm 60 and I want good mobility and health, my workouts are for good mobility and health. Therefore they look different. I can enjoy both of them. I just have to take it and use it in a way that's valuable. All right, where am I going with this? Your family's well being, your children and your wife are more important than the hobbies that you do. That's true. But if you partaking in hobbies allows you to be a better husband and father, well, then go for it. So if you're never doing anything for yourself and it's just making you angry and bitter and resentful and tired and whatever, you're going to be beneficial to your family by taking some of that time off and doing things for yourself. And friends can help with this. Men need other men.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

To tell them when they're shit. This is one of the greatest values of having friends for guys is that your buddies that are close with you, they're the first ones that are look at you and go, bro, what are you doing? You're messing up and you need that. If you don't have that.

[Doug]

You don't have that need to go fill your cup. You go fill your cup.

[Adam Schafer]

That's right.

[Doug]

I just think it's like, what balance really is, is just shifting your priorities around constantly.

[Adam Schafer]

Yep.

[Doug]

And it's.

[Adam Schafer]

It.

[Doug]

There's no way that you're going to nail it right at that moment in all aspects. So whatever. I always just look at it as, like, who. Who needs me the most? You know, and like.

[Adam Schafer]

Or where.

[Doug]

Where do I need to be the most and where I see any kind of, like, deficits I need to address, whether it's in the family, whether it's in my, you know, extended family, you know, friends or. Or if I need some time to myself, like, I just. I have to kind of evaluate that constantly and then just shift my priorities around and. And accommodate appropriately. It's just. It's. It's not something that, like, I don't know anybody out there that's nailed it. So a lot of people out there say they have, and. And it's like, this is like one of these really annoying things for me to listen to from people that think that, like, oh, I'm so successful.

[Adam Schafer]

I have all.

[Doug]

You don't. You don't. Unless you're constantly moving things around to make it work.

[Justin Andrews]

Well, I think that you said that because I would say I've nailed this, but I wouldn't. But I also would say that you're right. It doesn't look like this perfect balance, because that's like. In other words, if I looked at.

[Adam Schafer]

It look like single Adam.

[Justin Andrews]

It doesn't look. No, that's what I mean. It doesn't. So. Yeah, so. But it doesn't look like. Like, to Justin's point, it doesn't look like perfect. Seven days of, like, on Monday, I hang out with the homies. On Tuesday, I. It's like, no, it's not like what it looks like for me and why I feel that way that I. We've nailed this one. I think that the woman I married has everything to do with this. She values that as much and values that I have that as much and. And vice versa. Like, I always encourage her if I. If it's. If time has gone by and she hasn't got away with the girls and done something and same thing for her. She knows, like, I love to just go off and go drive by myself and like. And she will see sometimes when I'm buried into work and I'm out of balance because I'm so focused on the business right now. It's like, oh, I know my honey needs to go take a day off for himself. And she'll come tell me. She's like, hey, Friday, go, go take one of the cars, get out of here. We'll see you tomorrow. And it's like, I'll go do that. And. And we. So we do that for each other. We're always kind of watching, you know, because we do vou friendships are extremely important to us. And I maintain quite a few really good relationships with my friends. So is my time with just my wife outside of with my child. And then, of course, I love being with my son and doing a lot of things. And so it never looks like a perfect balance. To Justin's point, it never is. But what it looks like is sometimes you're. You're running a lot in one direction, and a good partnership is helping you always kind of evaluate that somebody outside.

[Doug]

To really point that out.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. And so and Katrina and I, we've actually even. We have. We have rules in our relationship that. And one of the rules that we have is she has the autonomy. At any time, she feels that she will like, block. She runs the calendar and she'll mark off a day and like, I gotta show up for that, whatever that that thing is. And sometimes it's a family trip where the three of us go and do something. Sometimes it's a. Just her and I because we need to get our alone time. And sometimes it's, you need to get the out of here and go. And so. But she has that control. And I give. I. I trust her to. To kind of be feeling the family dynamic always to give me that feedback of. I'm. I'm not getting enough of one of those things because I can put my head down. It's a strength of mine. It's like I can focus on something. Go like, okay, this is where I'm at now. The wheat that your greatest strength is your greatest weakness. So the weakness is that I can get so focused in that direction that I can lose sight of some of those other things. But having a partner who's always keep giving me those checks and balances and does that keeps what I consider balance. Right. Makes me feel balanced about it, even though it's not real balance.

[Adam Schafer]

There's seasons in life, I think, too, changing your perspective helps you find joy in the season that you're in.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah.

[Adam Schafer]

Because they're all different. This happened the other night. The other night, my. My four and a half year old, you know, we were in bed and he's downstairs, got a little bit of a cold, and I'm upstairs. I'm, like, looking forward to some alone time with my wife, and. And I love being with her, just the two of us for whatever. And so we're up there, and he's calling up, and he's having trouble falling asleep. And so my wife wasn't feeling good, so I'm like, I'll go down. I'll hang out with him. So I go down, and he's like, no, no, I want mom. And I said, listen, I love hanging out with you, buddy. Just me and you. And he goes, well, then let me have both of you. So I can't say no to that, right? So she comes down. Now, I could have been annoyed. I could have been annoyed. And maybe that would have happened to me at some points where I'm annoyed and say, oh, God, now we're doing this instead of hanging out, just the two of us. But instead, you know, there's a shift, and we're in bed, and he's hugging us, and he's so happy that we're with him. And it's like, this is gonna end.

[Justin Andrews]

Totally.

[Adam Schafer]

This is not gonna happen. He's not gonna be 15 years old with us laying in bed with him cuddling. That's just not gonna happen if he doesn't be weird, right? Yeah, it just doesn't happen. So it's a season. And so what that did for me is I became joyful.

[Justin Andrews]

You appreciate it.

[Adam Schafer]

I became joyful.

[Justin Andrews]

You appreciate it. Cause there's gonna come a time, 18 years from now when it's just the two of you. All you got is this two of you, and you don't have a kid interrupted. So a lot of this is framing, right?

[Adam Schafer]

A lot of it's framing.

[Justin Andrews]

It's how you frame these situations that you're in. I do think, though, I, I, I do. To the person's point, men can get this way, though, where they.

[Doug]

They stop, really get isolated.

[Justin Andrews]

They get really isolated, they lose their relationships with other men. And that is so important to do that. Now, again, Katrina, we talked about this before we got together. Like, this was stuff that we knew where it was important to us. We both valued that, and so we've just never lost sight of that. Now there's seasons where you're more or whatever because of whatever. It's like having a newborn kid. Like, your entire life is their newborn kid. And then. And I have friends that when. When they. The kid comes, like, you don't see him for a couple months. It's like. That's just part of it, like season and you know what they're doing. I don't hold it against my buddy because he's doing it, because I've done it too. When that. When that time is how many, then that goes and you free up and then you have more time to do stuff and. And then eventually they'll come a time when they're all out of the house and all you got is time. And so I don't want to. I don't. I'm not upset that more of it's shifted with them. But I do. I do think it's important to. I think balance is such a terrible, you know, people throw around, but I do think all of it is important.

[Adam Schafer]

You know, where men tend to screw this up is they tend to place too much value on work and less on everything else. So we're.

[Justin Andrews]

We're.

[Adam Schafer]

Men tend to isolate themselves. Here is they bury into work, work, work, work. That was me. That was my value. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna work like crazy. And then you lose sight of the other things that are very important. In my experience, that's what I've seen with men. I see less of the life.

[Justin Andrews]

It's either that Sal, or like some guys especially, I don't know, the hobby.

[Doug]

Thing is real, dude.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah, so some. So that's what I was gonna say, Justin. I see a lot of dudes that are fantasy football hang out with their golf on their buddy on Saturday. Do they do all these things with the boys? I mean, I was that guy. I was that guy who every weekend my boys were at my house where I was at their house, and we were talking. I mean, we were like the bros 100%. Was that guy activities or therapy. Yeah. And so, you know, the video gaming is gone. The golf trips happen occasionally. But again, like, trading that for what I. What I am doing with my, like, I'll take a. All day long, do building Legos with my son over any video game, binger with my buddies or something like that. So to me, it's an easy sacrifice or, you know, but it doesn't mean I still don't maintain those relationships. It just looks different. It's different because I have different priorities in my life. And I don't know, I think there's a way to still do all of it. But a lot of guys have built this. These, you know, routines around their hobbies, their life, and then they get married and have kids, and a lot of that goes because it's not realistic. It's just like, yeah, golf takes 10 hours, bro. Like, you can't expect to golf every week anymore. Like, and some dudes do. I know guys that like, all your.

[Doug]

Trading cards get dust.

[Justin Andrews]

Yeah. You know, and, but maybe that or maybe that is the one thing that you do with your boys is always golf, but then the rest of the time is that. So there's, there's ways to do both. It's just like trying to have your cake and eat it too all the time is, you know, a little ridiculous.

[Adam Schafer]

Look, if you like the show, come find us on Instagram. Justin is mindpumpjustin I'm mindpump Disttefano Adam's.

[Sal Destefano]

Mindpump Adam, thank you for listening to Mind Pump. If your goal is to build and shape your body dramatically improve your health and energy and maximize your overall performance, check out our discounted RGB super [e-mail] the RGB Super Bundle includes maps, Anabolic maps, performance and maps aesthetic. Nine months of phased expert exercise programming designed by Sal, Adam and Justin to systematically transform the way your body looks, feels and performs. With detailed workout blueprints and over 200 videos. The RGB Super Bundle is like having Sal, Adam and Justin as your own personal trainers, but at a fraction of the price. The RGB Super Bundle has a full 30 day money back guarantee guarantee and you can get it now. Plus other valuable free [e-mail] if you enjoy this show, please share the love by leaving us a five star rating and review on itunes and by introducing Mind Pump to your friends and family. We thank you for your support and until next time, this is Mind Pump.