← Miracle Mentality with Tim Storey (Motivation, Self Help, and Mental Health)
Miracle Mentality with Tim Storey (Motivation, Self Help, and Mental Health)
How Case Kenny Mastered Mindfulness, Confidence, and Optimism | Positivity | E29
00:38:53
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- [00:01]
A
Hello, Miracle Mentality family. You just heard my good friend John Paul dejarra. He was so good on this podcast. I want to tell you something that he's doing that I think is amazing. I'm introducing to you for the first time Global sku. It is an app designed to help you make extra money for stuff that you have just sitting around. Now, how does that work? Number one, it only costs $12 a month and you can cancel anytime. What happens is that you scan an item and it tells you what the item sold for in the last 90 days. And it lists across multiple platforms, including ebay, Amazon, Walmart, Facebook marketplace. This is amazing. Go to the Global SKU website or the App Store and and start making money today. But I have something really good for you. For the first 50 people from my world, that comment, I'm going to give you global SKU for absolutely free for one month. For the first 50 people that comment, I want to give you a free month subscription. So respond right now. That's GlobalSK you. Hello, my name is Tim Story. Welcome to Miracle Mentality.
- [01:23]
B
Remember rooftops, drawing spaceships on the ground.
- [01:26]
A
It's for the dreamers, the doers, the believers in something greater. In each episode, I'll invite you to rise above the mundane, to push past the messy and learn to live boldly in the miraculous. Every episode will have practical wisdom, spiritual insight, and my guests will explore what it takes to activate your miracle mindset. Remember to subscribe, follow, and like. Welcome to the Miracle Mentality. This is a podcast, guys. So podcasts are interesting. Sometimes you could see my face and sometimes you just hear my voice, and it's weird to be known for my voice. I was at the TSA not so long ago and I was just talking to a guy and he says, hey, are you a guy from Dog the Bounty Hunter? And I go, what do you mean? He goes, I know your voice from Dog the Bounty Hunter. And I said, yes, I used to be on that show. But that's how he knew me. He didn't even know my face. He knew my voice. But thank you for watching or listening to this podcast. We keep being either at number four, five, or six, whether it be on Spotify or on Apple. So that means I must be having good guests. And also it means that you guys must be liking subscribing and telling friends. So keep that stuff up because I gotta catch number one. Today's guest I'm excited to talk to. I like bright people. This guy's bright. Watched a lot of things that he's doing. He's got a cool name. Could have been an actor with a name like this. Case Kenny. But he has a podcast, whole interesting name, new mindset. Who dis, which sounds a little bit inner city, so I'm gonna have to ask him about that. And then he has a new book out that's doing well, the opposite of settling. So let's welcome to the Miracle Mentality, ladies and gentlemen, Case Kenny. Hi, Case. Hello.
- [03:28]
B
Thank you for having me. Thanks for the kind intro. And you have a great voice. It's appreciated.
- [03:35]
A
Wonder how your parents came up with the name Case? Let's go there.
- [03:39]
B
Well, it's a good question. It's actually technically Casey C, A, S, E, Y. But no one has really ever called me that. So Case has stuck. And it's short and sweet, right? One syllable. Yes, Case Kenny.
- [03:53]
A
I like it. So I want to dive right in with you because I like the way your mind thinks and you're like a driving a Porsche in fifth gear. And I'm going to take you to sixth gear quicker than most people. You know, life is interesting sometimes where you find yourself living well. Things are working. You're going through, like, challenges, but good things, challenges, good things. And then you start to click into something. Oprah calls it a aha moment. Give me a time in your 20s where something positive happened, where Case began to change and realize a little bit about what you were supposed to be doing on this planet.
- [04:39]
B
I worked in corporate advertising technology, sales for 12 years. I led a sales team there for a while. Started off as an account executive, worked my way up to a regional vice president. That success is really what led me here because I started my podcast. I started everything that I do now in the midst of that, because I didn't really feel like I knew myself that well. I felt like, oh, this is the path that I follow to be successful. And I was good at sales. I was good at leading a team. But I felt very disconnected from who I was as a man, as a brother, as a friend, as a boyfriend. I didn't have that perspective. Everything changed for me when I just started the podcast amidst working that job and I started it and I got lucky, and in some way, the podcast started to do well right off the bat. I just found this clarity immediately through doing the podcast. And I was like, oh, this is the thing. This was the thing. But this is the thing. This is the thing that I'm called to, and this is the reason why I was maybe good at sales. The type A mentality, the Entrepreneurial mentality, the ability to pitch and evangelize mentality. I was like, oh, but this is the thing. And that was almost eight years ago, and I haven't looked back. But I think that in particular was like, oh, like things are going to change because of this. This is a good thing. And it's one of those things that I started, too. It wasn't something that happened to me, it was something that I initiated. So I always look back to that. Starting the podcast amidst the career, and then obviously it's led me away from that career quite some time ago, but it was that moment for sure.
- [06:04]
A
So, Case, when you figured out that that was a thing, then, did you know what you wanted to talk about? Because I don't really know at that stage in your life what was happening in your mind, in your brain, in your relationships. Because there's so many things you could have talked about. I mean, you could have been Lewis Howes, you could have been Grant Cardone. You could have done so many different things. But when did you realize what your subject matter was going to be?
- [06:33]
B
Yeah, when I started to your point, I didn't really know. All I knew is that I wanted to find clarity. I wanted to have a point of view, I wanted to have confidence in myself. You know, it probably honestly took a couple of years of doing it to really realize that all of those things, for me personally, was in pursuit of helping myself to be more optimistic. The expertise that I have is using mindfulness as a tool to help people be more optimistic. And to be optimistic in life, you have to have clarity first and foremost. So it makes sense how it led me to this. And then, yeah, I had a lot of personal revelations along the way of how unfair I was to myself, judgmental wise, how I carried the weight of a lot of negative thinking. And through that, I was like, oh, the thing that I want above all else isn't answers necessarily. It's just a path to being optimistic, the path to being resilient. So that led me here and now. That's my life's work at this point. But, yeah, it took a little bit of time, but now I'm more certain than ever.
- [07:31]
A
So, okay. Something that I do not know. So this is just me not knowing. Out of high school, did you go to college? And if so, where and what did you study and how long did you go?
- [07:41]
B
I went to college. I went to Notre Dame and I majored. You would not anticipate this looking at me. I'm a pale guy from the Midwest. But I majored in Chinese and Arabic. So as a double major in languages, Mandarin Chinese and then Modern Standard Arabic. I've always had a thing for language. Now it makes sense. My whole thing is linguistic optimism, applied linguistics and self reflection. But I was in college, I was always good at languages. I'm like not the smartest guy. I started off pre med because my brother's a cardiologist, my mom was a lawyer. I was going to do the traditional career path. And yeah, it just didn't click for me. And I was like, what is something that I'm good at that I'm interested in that I thought at the time would have career trajectory which was Chinese for business and Arabic for government work. And I was good at it. And then I graduated and went into advertising and never touch those languages professionally again. But the foundation of them set for sure. You know, I mean, talk about looking back and connecting the dots. Now it makes sense why I've always felt drawn to languages because language is how you make sense of life. And how you make sense of life either makes you pessimistic or optimistic. And language and the subtext of language and sentence structure really is my passion. And now I look back and I'm like, oh, it makes sense why I did those things. Where at the time I was just trying to stay above water. To be honest.
- [08:57]
A
I like the risk taking side of it because I think, you know this. A lot of what I do is life coaching people as a therapist. And I feel that if you would have brought that to 10 people and said, this is going to be my major, these two languages, probably at least seven would have said. And because, yeah, how did you get to the point where you said, no, that's my decision, I'm just going to like go with it.
- [09:23]
B
Yeah, certainly as a valid reaction to it because I mean There were like 20 people in my class. It was a small program at Notre Dame.
- [09:30]
A
Yeah.
- [09:31]
B
Studying language every single day for four years. It was a major. It wasn't like a minor or concentration. It was my major. My thesis was in Mandarin. I don't know, I mean, I think it was a combination of one, being privileged to have the support of my parents to say, hey, yes, we will support you through this and you should choose the thing that you're drawn to and that you're good at was one, but two, I mean, I always think broadly. I knew that there would be career trajectory for those languages. I lived in China and Shanghai for a bit doing Chinese. I had quite a few opportunities in government work With Arabic. So it was there. The opportunities were there. Ultimately, I decided not to pursue those things. But we live in a weird time nowadays where skills are easily translated. So admittedly, it was somewhat a tough job market when I graduated in 2011. It was still tough finding following the 2008. So it was tough. And that's probably why I ended up in advertising. But I'm grateful. I'm grateful that this is the path I took, certainly.
- [10:27]
A
So you're living an interesting life right now, where you've been on my radar for a while and because I know people that really love what you're doing. And I have researchers, so I have quite a few researchers that throw me things out. And some of my researchers started throwing me things out, you were saying in different forms. So tell me about the book the Opposite of Settling. So, number one, how did you come up with the title for that book?
- [10:57]
B
So the title, somewhat interesting anecdote there. Initially it was called the Opposite of Settling Down. So I wrote this book specifically within the context of relationships, because the phrase that you hear so often that so many people want to do or feel pressured to do is settle down. And it's a good, noble goal. You live your young, eager twenties and then you're like, I want to settle down. I want to have a family. I want to create a legacy. I want some simplicity. I want to settle down. But I always thought that that was a curious phrasing. Settle down. It has two words in it that I'm not a huge fan of. Number one is settle. Who wants to settle? And two, down. I don't want down. I want up. I want amplification. I want expansion. I want more. So again, my whole thing is language. How do we create language that uplifts and. And drives action? And I always just thought that that was such a weird way that we've worded such an important part of life to settle down. So I wrote the book and ultimately called it the Opposite of Settling, because this encompasses that idea plus the thing that people so often do in relationships, which is settle for the wrong partner. And I just wrote it to help give people a mindful and optimistic reframing of relationships to say, hey, the point of a relationship is not to check a box, not just to have a partner. It's to have someone who amplifies your existence. You have this spark inside of you. You have this ambition, you have this fire. The purpose of a relationship above all else is, do they amplify that? And using that as a lens for what I call Settling up, right. You're getting more out of life with a partner as opposed to less and certainly not settling down. You're seeing more of life, you're making more money, you're happier as a result of a partnership. And I just thought it was a timely message because it's tough out there in the dating market. I'm lucky to have found my partner, but there's horror stories and it's frustrating and I just wanted to offer people a dose of optimism and reframing.
- [12:50]
A
Okay, let's talk about hit records for a second. So I see messages that we get as almost like hit records. So if you think of Ed Mylett, a hit record for him would be max out. We mentioned Grant Cardone earlier. That'd be like 10x Tim story, miracle mentality. So because of these messages, we get invited around the world to speak or speak for companies or whatever. Give me two of your hit records if you. We use it in that way that for people that are new to you, that are subjects that you have spoken on or written on that are kind of like you're known for, for sure.
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B
I do a lot of corporate keynotes and speaking. It's a large part of my business. And typically for those I don't talk a whole lot about dating, it's mostly around optimism as a blank sheet. My whole thing, the thing that I evangelize is optimism is the belief that things can change. So that's the record. Things can change and that is the foundation for everything in life. If you don't believe that things can change, you're going to stay static. You're going to let your imposter syndrome win. You're going to let any limiting belief overcome your capacity for action and self agency. So I will beat the drum on things can change over and over and over again. And you know, I have a whole framework for how to truly believe that things can change. But that that's first and foremost, things can't change. That's how I actually define optimism. Optimism is the belief that things can't change. So I usually always start there for one record, another record, I don't know, this one's a little bit more lengthy. But again, my expertise is within emotional vocabulary. Right. It's using the right words to amp you up as opposed to using the wrong words which hold you down. And I always say when I do these keynotes and these workshops is the following. I say that the words we use to describe our emotions dictate how we feel them. And that's longer than A hit record that's like an album. It's a whole album. The words that we use to describe our feelings dictate the way we experience them. But it's so true when we're stepping into a feeling, feeling nervous, feeling unsure, if we use the wrong words to describe it, that emotion is going to own us versus if we take control of naming the emotion, we, we use it. So it's within the same realm. But I will beat the drum on both of those records. And it's cool to be able to bring that mentality into different organizations. I do it for the NFL, I do it for corporate groups and banks. And it applies so acutely across sectors because we all have these limiting beliefs that, oh, I'm not going to hit my sales goal or I'm feeling intimidated by this prospect. And you could immediately draw a line in the sand by saying things can't change, renaming our emotions with more uplifting and movement oriented words.
- [15:42]
A
I know you a lot from the optimism side of things because if I'm studying on a subject, then my researchers will bring me things like from a Sean Acre on happiness or something. And they brought me some things that you had said. So how did you get on to that subject? Was it the fact you saw a lot of people that were not optimistic? Had you read a book? Did you see a movie? I like to ask great songwriters too. So I live a very unusual life where I get to be with a lot of people who create great music, like some of the greatest music we've ever had. So I could ask certain individuals, where did that song come from? So they'll tell me, so where did this song of optimism come come from?
- [16:31]
B
Certainly from my own personal life. I think in the past I was quite pessimistic. My parents are amazing and great, but they came up through the times when money was tough and the crisis this and crisis that. And so they had a very like realistic mentality towards life. And I looked at that, looked at myself and I was like, I want to believe that tomorrow can be better than today. I want to believe that this chapter isn't my final chapter. I want to believe that this emotion does not define me. So I think a lot of it came from that. And then a lot of it came from just the work of what I do, which is my expertise is in optimism, I suppose. But it comes from mindfulness, right? To be optimistic you have to be mindful. And you think a lot about of different ways that people try to be mindful in life. And I was Always, like, I want to be mindful too. So I would do meditation, I would do sound baths, I would do breath work. All these things that are designed to make you mindful, right? To be mindful, that is mind and body to the same place and you just breathe and you just exist and you just accept what you feel. Incredibly powerful. But I realized through a lot of that, that to be mindful isn't just listening to yourself, but that's a lot of the focus. It's like, okay, go and be mindful, listen to yourself. But I realized that just listening to yourself is only half the battle. The rest is how you talk to yourself. And so I just saw that, oh, I can listen to myself all day, which is a requirement in life. But what do I do with what I feel in those moments? I have to talk to myself in a way that uplifts, and that's how it gravitated towards optimism. So it was a lot of self discovery within meditation and self reflection and guided journaling. But I was like, there's something here that is missing, that. And people don't talk enough about how do you name the things that you unearth when you're thinking and you're feeling? So to me, it's almost like looking at a market and being like, this is missing from the conversation. And that's where I'm going to go. And, you know, it's completely changed my life and it's been incredible to make a living from it too.
- [18:27]
A
I'm believing that you're enjoying this podcast, the miracle mentality. And so the best way to help other people is to share it with a friend, family member, or even a colleague. We work hard on getting the right types of guests that will make your life go from the mundane, the messy, the madness into the miracle mentality. Don't forget, your mindset is yours to set. So make sure and share this with someone else and then tag memstoryofficial. That's Tim Story official. Thank you for making this one of the most listened to and watched podcasts out there in the world. And guess what? Get ready for miracles to come your way. Well, the thing is, you were obviously correct because from your books to your podcasts, do you do a newsletter as well?
- [19:24]
B
Yeah, you have an email newsletter.
- [19:26]
A
So all the publications and all that. And as two speakers, we know this, there's times when we're talking about a subject where you could see the crowd perk up when you hit that certain subject. It's like we've hit a certain button so you see the challenge that so many people are having with being optimistic. Okay, so let's help people a little bit today. Give me two steps that people can take action steps to become more optimistic. So maybe their job is not going as well as they thought it should, or maybe their marriage is not going as well as they thought it should. They're maybe been married three years and they thought it'd be better and it's not there. Give me two cases, two thoughts from you on how they can become more optimistic.
- [20:15]
B
The first would be the most simple thing in the world. And I'm not the first person to say this, but I tend to focus a lot of my work around simplicity of how we react to negativity in life. The first thing is stop speaking to yourself in the following way. Most people say I am anxious. For instance, some people say I feel anxious. Speaking to yourself in terms like that absolutes I feel or I am, I think really creates too much permanence with emotions and it's no wonder that you're not hopeful. The better way is you say a part of me feels anxious. And it's such a small thing, but, but it encapsulates a lot of therapeutic approaches to the mind. Like if you go to a therapist, they're gonna tell you a lot about why we should speak to ourselves in reference to parts. Because there's many different parts of us, parts from the past, parts from the future, overthinking parts, self sabotaging parts. So at bare minimum, when you feel a negative way, say a part of me feels this way. Because truly it is a part of you. You're not an anxious person. A part of you. There's a part of you somewhere in here that feels anxious. Let me circle that part and we're gonna work on that part. It's not the whole of me. I'm not a anxious person. I'm not a sad person. I'm not an angry person. It's a part of me. Number one, always start there. Number two, a lot of the times when we're not feeling optimistic, it's because we've boxed ourselves into some kind of limiting belief. We all have limiting beliefs. I have limiting beliefs and I'm very optimistic. I always recommend, and I do these corporate workshops. Again, this is simple stuff. I have people write down the limiting belief. I'm too blank to do this. I'm not blank enough to do this. They write it down. We're looking at it now. We're looking at the limiting belief. And then all I Have them write down after that is, if I'm wrong, it would mean blank. And I just have them complete the opposite of that. Here's the limiting belief that I've ruled my life and I collect evidence to support that this is true. For once in my life, I'm just going to collect evidence that if I'm wrong about that, what would it mean? What would it mean if I'm not actually not attractive enough, not funny enough, not wealthy enough, not talented enough? What would it mean? We just open the door a little bit for that possibility. And then the brain is so great because the brain replies so well to specificity. If you set a specific goal, if you set a specific mentality, the brain filters in information that supports that as being possible. So all we're doing is just trying to open the door on these things that have been set in decision making, and we open our eyes to them. And so it's simple. Things like that a part of me feels. And then write down your limiting beliefs, write down the opposite of it and just see how it changes how you observe life. And I think you would honestly be surprised.
- [22:50]
A
Love that case. Why do you think journaling is so important? Because you talk about this. Why is journaling so important? How can that help us? Because I know a lot of men that I coach, like athletes and stuff. I try to get them to do that, and they're like, tim, come on, I'm not going to start journaling. So why is journaling so important?
- [23:12]
B
It's important for a couple of reasons. The first is back to the brain. The brain is really good at retaining information. Of course it is. That's what keeps us alive. It's what keeps us doing the right things. It's a. Hey, don't touch that. That's hot, right? That's your brain retaining past information. It's also, hey, don't say that thing, because you did in the past and everyone thought that that was weird. Save you from the emotional turmoil is really good at retaining information. The brain is not really good at processing that information at the same time. So if you're ever caught in a cycle of overthinking or doubt, it's because the brain thinks that it's helping you. It's keeping you safe by reminding you of those things. It's not processing it. It's not working its way through it. So when I think about journaling, I don't think about, oh, dear Diary, I don't think about. Journaling is for sad people. I think sometimes that's why People are averse to it. When I think about journaling, I think of, you're finally freezing that thought. You are freezing retention, and you're moving it to intention, and it's the most powerful thing you could do in the world. So you're freezing, and it just helps you process it. It's intentional thinking. There's so much great science, neuroscience, philosophy around the brain, your thought process, the subconscious mind. So many of our thoughts are complete bs. They do not originate with us. We are merely receiving them. If you're not doing something to put up a stake in the ground between where it's coming from and what you do with it, you're never going to make sense of reality. We have to find a way to freeze a thought and be intentional about it. And that's what writing does. I mean, think about what happens when you write. It's a tactile experience. You actually have to think about word choice. You're in the moment. And it primes the brain to be more honest than it's capable of, as I've found it when you're living your life at 60 miles an hour. So, yeah, and I get the same reaction sometimes. Like, I do these events for athletes. I've done it for the NFL. I'm in Houston this week doing them for the Dynamo, the soccer team down there. And, yeah, usually initially, some of the reaction I get is, come on, man. We're like, we're professional athletes. We do discipline things. Like, we're dedicated. But, yeah, it's. I think a lot of the times it's a matter of the positioning. This is how you train your brain, you train your body. You read your playbook. This is the same capacity. It's not for sad people. This is training. This is mindset training. And I think sometimes the positioning helps and how you journal helps. There's many different kinds of journaling. I gravitate. And what I help people do is I give them specific prompts. So, hey, you answer this question as opposed to dear Diary, how do I feel today? No, no, it's. Answer this question. And I think it could be really, really incredibly powerful.
- [25:48]
A
I want to talk about something that's dear to my heart and that is addiction. A lot of people that I am the therapist to have addictive behavior. How can optimism and being optimistic help one that struggles with some form of addiction?
- [26:08]
B
Yeah. Well, again, first of all, to clarify, I'm not a therapist, so I'd always encourage people to seek professional help when it comes to addictions. I think optimism at its Core is about clarity. It's clarity first and then it's action that follows. And the clarity part is really important because, I mean, where is addiction stemming from? It's usually stemming from some kind of distraction oriented behavior, a familiarity with chaos, some kind of subconscious priming around unhealthy behaviors to fill some kind of gap.
- [26:40]
A
Agree, agree. I mean, that was phenomenal right there.
- [26:44]
B
And I think if you could at least put a circle around, hey, here is a potential why I'm doing this behavior. The rest becomes, okay, this is a behavior that I'm addicted to. I'm addicted to this behavior. The gap then becomes how can things change? Right? And I think that belief system and like a lot of my work with mindfulness, it's about movement. And especially with overcoming addiction, it's about moving away from it.
- [27:10]
A
Yes.
- [27:11]
B
Emotional movement, self forgiveness, admitting that you're doing this because of some kind of limiting belief, or it's literal movement, getting up and moving your body, doing things to overcome unhealthy habits. But it starts with that clarity, and then it's a requirement. That's why I always come back to optimism, the belief that things can change. If you don't believe that things can change, why would you try to get over your addiction? So we have to have that belief that things can change. So I would answer your question in that way. I think that would be a good starting point. And then obviously, depending on the addiction and substance or whatever it might be, but starting there, clarity, things can change.
- [27:47]
A
I love that. All right, you guys, I'm talking to Case Kenny, and I'm loving this. So in studying you, I see that you talk about burnout sometimes losing purpose. Talk to me a little bit about why the subject of burnout came to your mind. Was that a personal journey, watching some of your buddies burnout, watching your parents burnout? What happened?
- [28:10]
B
I feel like I'm always teetering on the edge of burnout sometimes. So it's personal for me for sure, because I don't like labels, but I consider myself a very type a driven person. I'm always hungry. I do what many people do, which is set mile high aspirations and then accomplish it and then just move the goalpost to the next mile high. There's very rarely a time where I'm like, oh, I'm going to celebrate. Like, even. In fact, I still have it here. I bought this very expensive bottle of champagne in 2017 in Chicago. I don't know why I bought it. At the time, I was like, oh, this is just a cool Purchase. I was making good money in advertising. I was like, this is a cool thing to buy. I bought it. And I was like, I'm going to pop this bottle. When I hit a hundred thousand dollars in revenue on this E commerce venture that I was involved with. And I hit that very soon. And then it became a million, then it became 5 million, and just boom, boom, boom. And every single time, I was like, no, no, no. Next goal post. Then I'll pop that bottle. I'm literally looking at it. The bottle's right there. I brought it with me from Chicago. I still haven't popped it. I still haven't drank it. And I think that, to me, is obviously a recipe for burnout, which is never being content enough to at least celebrate the win. I think you should always be hungry. But I always say ambition without mindfulness leads to burnout every single time. We have to find a way to be ambitious and human. And the thing that allows for us to do that is mindful reflection, listening to yourself, talking to yourself, and finding a way to understand, you know, why am I insatiable when it comes to my ambition? Where is it coming from? And usually what I found the majority of the time is it's great to be wired to be hungry, but the majority of the time it's to prove something, which is also fine. But we have to find a way to be mindful and ambitious. And I think that requires a lot of willpower. And maybe I'm not the right guy to talk to it because I still have that bottle. But I think the thing that is between those things is. Is reflection of understanding. Where is this ambition coming? Where is this drive coming from? Is it to prove something? Is it for me? Is it for other people? That's certainly going to help a lot.
- [30:17]
A
All right, so let's talk more about the new book, the Opposite of Settling. Give me one of your chapter titles. I will get the book. I do not have it in my hand now. Give me one that would be interesting for the listener.
- [30:31]
B
Yeah, I think the best one, one of the best ones, I think it is chapter one, to be honest. Or maybe chapter two. It's called out of Town Confidence, which is my little clever play on the observation that maybe you've had in your life, that when you travel to a new city, you come to Miami, you're in New York, you just feel a little bit more confident. You're in a city, there's energy. Not everyone knows you there, so you're not tethered to some expectation. And also you're there for a reason. You're there to have a good time. You're there on a mission. You're there to make money. You're there. It's cool. You feel energized. So we refer to it as out of town confidence. You got a little more Pippen.
- [31:06]
A
This is really good. I like this. This is a new swag hits people.
- [31:11]
B
Yeah. Literally, you find yourself in a city, you're like, damn, I'm feeling myself. So I've always thought that that idea was interesting, right? That when I'm in Miami, for instance, when I lived in Chicago, but I was down here in Miami, I was like, man, I feel so energized because I'm just here to have a good time. I'm here to soak it up and I'm not worried. I'm not too worried what other people think. I'm not here to find one person and impress that person. I'm here to make sure case Kenny gets the experience and lives it up in a sense. And I always thought that that was actually a really good mindset to have in relationships because you think about the purpose of life as I see it, is to get the most out of life as possible. The purpose of a relationship is to amplify the happiness, joy, success, ambition that you've already built on your own. The focus when you're in a different city isn't, oh, I've got to impress this one person and then I'll be happy. The purpose is you go to the city, you have a good time. If someone comes along and amplifies that experience, that's cool, but it's not. You don't need that one person for validation. So the whole thesis of the book was around, find joy for yourself. Follow ambition, follow your spark. That's one. And then two. The lens through which to see if someone should be in your life and yours and theirs is, do they amplify that? Right. So it's not them and then you find joy. It's you find joy and they amplify it. So you move through life with that out of town confidence mindset. You're open to someone joining you along the way and adding their special sauce to it and amplifying it. But you're not desperate for love to prove that life is worth living. You're living your best life. You're chasing all your dreams, and you've got that out of town confidence mindset. So that's the idea.
- [32:50]
A
Okay. All right. So that's one of his hits. He's got many, many hits. That means you'd be great on tour. There's certain bands, they only have like two songs and they got to keep playing those. You have a lot of hits Case Kenny all right, so let's go somewhere. For my viewing audience, I have a lot of single people that follow us and they can't seem to find the right person. I hear this all the time, really attractive people in New York. They're like, this is not the city. Or in la, this is not the city for it. Or you hear this even in Brickell. I saw like this really Pretty Girl on TikTok recently walking through Brickell in Miami area, and she was saying, this is not the city for it. Because people are just passing through now. Are they just not looking right at things? Is it their perspective? Is it their mindset? Give me one little thing they're missing by thinking that this is not the city.
- [33:55]
B
I've heard pretty much every city ever listed, and everyone says, oh, Miami's the worst. Dayton, Ohio is the worst. Dallas, Texas is the worst. Charlottesville, Virginia is the worst. So, like I every city's the worst dating, right? You ask anyone where they live, it's going to be the worst, right? So it is what it is. I tend not to give tactical dating advice. How to find a person I don't know. Everyone's different. Everyone. You get lucky when you find the right person. It is sheer luck and happenstance. What I do know, though, is we cannot create a negative story around dating. If we start to tell ourselves a story like, there's no available men in Miami, there's no available women in la. Belief always comes before becoming. And it's not la la land science to say that belief shapes your reality. It truly, truly does. Whether you believe in manifestation or whether you believe in anything spiritual. If we start telling ourselves a limiting belief like that, the reality will very much follow and then also just take it for an anecdote. I love asking older generations questions. I've asked hundreds, if not close to a thousand of people, like 65 in life questions. And I always ask people what they regret in life and when it comes to love and relationships and what they regret. I hear every single answer when it comes to I regret marrying the wrong person, having kids too early, staying in the wrong kind of relationship, rushing through my life to find a partner. I have never heard someone ever say, I regret being single for too long. And you could take that for what it's worth. But I feel like a lot of the times we're rushing through our singlehood because we've attached a stigma to it. And love and partnership is a major purpose of life. I'm never trying to diminish that. But sometimes we put some incredibly unfair pressure on ourselves where being single is an incredible gift. It really is. And I think sometimes we just need to celebrate that. And admittedly, if you're not finding luck in Brickell in Miami, which I'm not too surprised, to be honest, Brickell is kind of a chaotic area to live in Miami, then move somewhere else. Change your circumstance, change your environment. You can't expect the same result by living in the same place. So lots of practical things you could do. But I would certainly start with the mindset. Do not allow yourself to form limiting beliefs. And based on your past dating frustrations, of which you might have many, but we cannot project those to the future.
- [36:15]
A
Okay, I hope you enjoyed this conversation with the amazing Case Kenny. So let's get his book the opposite of settling. Best places for them to get that
- [36:26]
B
case would be where it's on Amazon, and I'm posting on my Instagram all the time about it, so just Google it. Amazon. It's 30% off on Amazon right now.
- [36:35]
A
All right, new mindset. Who dis. Just last question is, how do we come up with that title?
- [36:41]
B
Yeah, you know, admittedly, I came up with that in 2018 because my friends and I would always say, like, new phone. Who diss. Whenever, like, we would call just like, to pretend we didn't know each other because we're stupid. Admittedly, now that I'm 37, I'm considering maybe a name change down the line that's a little bit more mature and aligned. But it was a nod to the fact that your mindset can completely change who you are. It's a new mindset. Who is this guy? Wow. Who is this guy? He walks different, he thinks different, he acts different because he changed his mindset. So in a sense, it is a real aligned reflection. But I'm a regular guy, and I like to keep things light. So that's always been the title.
- [37:17]
A
I love this. And do you have a website?
- [37:19]
B
Yeah, casekenny.com.
- [37:20]
A
all right. Casekenny.com. so keep following him, Case. I'm loving what you're doing and being as young as you are, what you're up to, what you're creating, how you're evolving. Definitely have a growth mindset. As Carol Dweck says, not a fixed mindset. So thank you for having this conversation. Did you enjoy this conversation today?
- [37:44]
B
This was the highlight of my day, if not the week. So thank you for having me. I mean that. Thank you.
- [37:48]
A
No, what a privilege. But we will hang out in Miami if you would like, because I go there and do little things. We should have a little lunch in someplace. Coconut Grove or somewhere.
- [38:00]
B
Let's go to Coconut Grove, not Brooklyn. That'll be nice.
- [38:04]
A
Exactly. All right, you guys. Thank you for watching Miracle Mentality. My guest today, Case Kenny. Make sure follow him his website, get his book. I think he's a phenomenal mind. He's helping a lot of people's lives get better. And make sure for this podcast, Ken, keep doing what you're doing, like subscribe and tell a friend. And as I often say, you may not be what you want to be, but thank God you're not what you used to be. Do not put yourself down. Life is still good. And I will see you real soon. Thank you for sharing space with me on this episode of Miracle Mentality with Tim Story. If today sparked your courage or helped you understand why you're created for success, I invite you to carry that miracle mentality forward. Visit me@timstory.com that story with an ey on the end. Until next time, walk by faith, embrace possibility, and create your own comeback. Story.