← Miracle Mentality with Tim Storey (Motivation, Self Help, and Mental Health)
Miracle Mentality with Tim Storey (Motivation, Self Help, and Mental Health)
Jana Kramer: How to Heal, Trust Yourself, and Move Forward | Self Help | E13
00:49:09
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Hello, my name is Tim Storey. Welcome to Miracle Mentality.
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Remember, rooftops, drawing spaceships on the ground.
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It's for the dreamers, the doers, the believers in something greater. In each episode, I'll invite you to rise above the mundane, to push past the messy and learn to live boldly in the miraculous. Every episode will have practical wisdom, spiritual insight, and my guests will explore what it takes to activate your miracle mindset. Remember to subscribe, follow and like. Welcome to the Miracle Mentality podcast. Once again, thank you guys for watching or listening and thank you for liking subscribing and telling people about it. So everywhere I go, I tell people about it because I like to learn. I like what Carol Dweck says. There's a difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. So today we're going to grow with one of my dear friends who understands growth, process, visions, dreams, setbacks, comebacks. You can recognize her from so many things from Friday Night Lights to constantly being on Entourage to One Tree Hill where that was a big breakout part, in my opinion. And then the fact that she can sing people. I mean, she's a singer, country western star, traveled with some amazing people, the movies and also producing a lot. But also she is an amazing dancer. And that is not easy to be a good dancer because I can dance, I can freestyle dance. But to be able to learn dance steps as she did for Dancing with the Stars, I thought was pretty amazing. And she has a podcast that's doing extremely well. She's constantly on big program's being interviewed. Let's welcome today, Jana Kramer. Hi, Jana.
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B
Wow, what an intro.
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First of all, what an intro.
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B
Can't dance. So let's just back up there. I, I saw your moves in the club a couple weeks ago.
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Yes, I can dance. I can't dance because I did watch you on that show and then I watched some clips a couple weeks ago to do the choreograph side of it. I don't think is easy. So that I give you credit for. To do it and then to do it on that stage and on that platform was a lot. Was that, I don't know, was that scary? And then we'll leave that subject alone.
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B
Yeah, it's. It was definitely a vulnerable experience for sure because I didn't have. Yeah, I used to figure skate, but it's very different. And so putting yourself out there in a comfortable way like that was. Was definitely challenging and vulnerable. But, you know, I also enjoyed so many pieces of it, too. I wish I could go back and be in the place that I am today because I was going through so much behind closed doors that it was. I kind of look at it and go, I'm so glad I did it. And I wish I had the opportunity to do it on this side of things.
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So I think when somebody has so many different talents, I think sometimes it could almost get in their way. Like if I'm coaching somebody and they're really great at this, but they're really great at that. So there's a book by this guy Keller, and he talks about the one thing, how we have to concentrate on the one thing. And then Malcolm Gladwell talks about, you know, it takes 10,000 hours to become, like, an expert or a master. So when you think about your talent that brought you to LA at about the age of 19, what was the talent or the one thing that you were going to go after at that time? Because then you evolved. But what was like, the one thing?
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Well, the one thing has always been the thing that it keeps going back to, and that's acting. So I left Michigan when I was around, like, 18, 19, and that was what I set out to do. I didn't have that fallback plan. I didn't go to college, so I had no choice but to make it right. And so I sat in front of an agent and basically told them I was SAG when I was not. But I had to just fight my way into things and prove that I deserve to have a seat and do this. And so. And we've talked about this, too, about having so many different baskets and finding that focus of what, what is the one thing. And the one thing is, has been and always will be acting. Now, on the bigger scale, it's being a mom. That's my number one always in my heart and why I do and work so hard, too. But where my passion is, is always been the acting.
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A
Okay, so let's go to the acting side for a second. When did you start to look at actors in roles and say, wow, number one, I love what she's doing, Whether it be Meryl Streep or whoever, it was Glenn Close. And then when did you say, I think I can do that?
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You know, what's interesting is you talked about someone that I looked up to as a kid was Sally Field. And it was the movie Not Without My Daughter. And that movie did something to me.
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What a movie.
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What a movie. And I was young when I saw that movie. And I just remember having this feeling like, I want to tell stories like this. And that's that's what, you know, maybe back then being that young, I didn't realize that was what I was feeling. But that movie moved me so much that I feel like that was the movie that kind of ignited this passion for acting. And I didn't go into theater, I didn't do any of that. But what I did was I. There was this acting coach that would come in from. He was an agent out of Chicago and he would come to Detroit. And so when I was a senior in high school, I would go to these his classes on weekends and I was in the room with a bunch of 40 plus men and women and I was the youngest one in the class. And I learned so much about just taking sides or script from a movie and just being as real as possible. I mean he would get in our faces. It was, it was intense. I mean he would scream, he'd be like, why would you not do that? And. But it was so what I needed to crack into, not the superficial of what I thought it was and really attacking the core and the pain. And I think going through the things that I went through even as a kid, I was able to have that piece of wanting to find healing through work.
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A
Let me throw three words at you. So I feel like when somebody has a dream, so number one, there's like a promise. So there's a promise of that dream and then there's what I would call the principles. And you have to walk out certain principles to get to that promise. So you have the promise, the principles, and then there's the persistence of sticking with it. And I think that's where a lot of people lose it. They have the promise of it, they maybe get some principles, but they don't have the persistence and they're not willing to like Digitized by Google. Dig deep, dig deep, dig deep, dig deep. So that side of you that I know as a friend, do you think that's more innate? Like that's your personality? Or is that innate and learned behavior to be that person that's persistent, to push through? Even in the subject of acting, I.
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Think it comes from childhood of if I wanted something, I had to work for it. And it's something where I value that. At the time, I don't think I valued as much as I do as a grown adult and now as a mom. But if I wanted to do the sport that I had to do, I had to, I had to get a job. If I wanted a car, I had to get a job. Nothing was ever handed to me. So what I wanted. I had to go get. And I had this feeling inside of me. I knew what I wanted. I knew when my. My friends were all taking the SATs and ACTs that I'm like, I'm going to LA. I don't know how, but I am going. And that was just. And they laugh. They would laugh at me, but they also knew, you know, that that was where I was, where I was headed. And again, I think not having that fallback plan and going, I. I have to do this because this is, you know, what I want to do. I also need to prove it to myself. Piece of me at the time wanted to prove it to my family that I could do it. But I think, you know, going through, even starting acting at 19 and then, you know, my early 40s now, it's. There's still that rejection. I still get that call. When I'm so close to something and not getting it, it is painful. And it's the thing that I still want to keep showing up for because I love healing. Right? And so in being in roles, it's so great to. To draw my past up and to be able to live that out through another character or find new. New things about myself through another character. And, you know, when I look back in singing, it was great and I had a lot of fun, but I didn't continue it on because it wasn't what was fueling that passion inside of me. So, of course, yeah, I got some awards and I got, you know, went to the top of the charts, platinum, you know, singles, and I was okay to walk away because it wasn't what fueled me.
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And I think that the awards that you got, the platinum singles, but also touring with, like, I think Blake Shelton, Bradley. Yep. Paisley, all the things that you did, that's. That's big in our eyes because I remember you from even back then. So let's. Let's go after something for a second. In. In knowing your personality, I talk about three levels of living. Almost most, and at most, to almost means not quite most means there's a ceiling. Me and you don't like ceilings. We want to break through the damn ceiling and go to the utmost level. Okay, so in acting, I think that you would admit you haven't had some of your breakout roles that you're gonna get. So what goes to your mind on that? And I really think this is a great question because, like, we both know a lot of actors, male and female, and sometimes they're just, like, coasting and then something just breaks out for them. It's like, what the heck? And they went there on that role and it took them to another level. So in the acting, does it still fuel you to kick into some kind of breakout role? That's like, okay, this is almost the Sally Field thing that I was thinking about.
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That's the dream, right? And that's where. That's why I haven't been discouraged enough to walk away, because I know the game of acting. I know that it's the seasons of the ups and downs. And, you know, I had a really great year. I filmed four movies this year. I feel. I feel for the first time that I'm in a place of not asking my scene partner in front of me was that okay? I am at a place now where I'm confident in what I've done for the past couple of years and where I can feel confident in a scene. And I also believe because where I'm at in my life, I'm able to actually do my work without being in a bad place. So I'm able to not have all of that holding me back and holding me down and not being my best version on sets. So I'm able to show up lighter. I'm able to actually tap into things that I probably wasn't able to tap into in my past because I was allowing other people's things affect my holding me down. And so now I just feel like I'm at this great place and I know that one day I'll be back on a show. And that's my. That's my goal and that's my dream. And I know it will. I know it will hit me because I believe in myself to know that I can do it. And that's the difference is I didn't believe in myself five years ago. Ten years ago, I would always get close, but I was the one that was holding myself back. And I've realized that I truly love.
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This side of you because I think that it's not selfish. It's your calling calls you. And I think for a lot of people watching or listening, you guys need to pay attention to that inner voice where your calling is calling you. So when you decided to leave Michigan to come to la, it's not just to be popular, because you became popular. When I watch all these talk shows that you've been on, just not so long ago, the NBC Today Show, I saw Jenna Bush interview you, and I see all these other ones. It's the way that people look at you. They get excited. They get excited about your beauty, you. Your Manner, your ways, but there's such a depth in you that you're like, you know what? This is awesome. But my calling is calling me to something even deeper. So let me just go there with you because I love acting. Like, if you look at Halle Berry when she got the role like the monsters ball and had to get like gritty. Okay. When you look at Charlize Theron when she got that role where she's like played a monster and did not look like herself, does that type of role attract you at all?
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Yes. Like, there is so many pieces of me where. And I, I spoke to a casting director too and I said, because I got really close on a, a spin off project and I said, what, what is it? You know, is there something that you can give me that I can break through? Because I know I'm always in the top three with you and I'm testing, but why am I not booking it? What is it? He's like, strip it completely down. And I was like, I have no problem with that. Like, literally no problem with that. Take it all off. You know, take off the extensions, take off that. I, I would love that. But it's hard for people to see that piece. I almost have to just. And I was talking to a girlfriend of mine how, you know, how to change the self tapes. But because of the business and how it's changed, I, I can't walk into a room and just have a conversation with you and have that direction. Sending a tape is so hard for me because they don't get to see change with direction. They don't get to see personality through, you know, through a tape. And so that's been a curveball I would believe in with post Covid.
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A
I think that the series is going to happen for you. I know the series that you auditioned for that's doing well, that in that case you did not get it yet. Who knows later. But I think the series will happen for you. But I'm kind of like prophesying to you, I think you're going to get a really great role that just like blows people away. So I'm going to give you an example on how good I am about this. I told Robert Downey Jr. In 1999, I said, I had a thought. And the thought was, I saw you on an ad for a movie, but you were like three or four stories high. And he goes, tim, you're so doggone intuitive. Like, I, I'm buying what you're saying. And I said, but it's going to happen within Five years. So, sure enough, I'm at a dinner with him and Michael Mina, the chef who owns all these restaurants. Come out of Sunset Boulevard. Michael Mina says to me, tim, can you take me to my restaurant on Sunset Boulevard? We hug Robert. Robert goes his own way. We drive Jana. I look up, and it's the biggest poster for Iron Man. That's like three to four stories up. And Robert had not even seen it. So I pull Michael Mina over, and I said, what the heck? And I tell him the story. We both get emotional. So that's what's interesting about life is just around the corner. It could shift that fast. But the thing that I love that you're doing is the damn preparation for when that opportunity hits, Right?
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Yeah. And I love that story. But, yeah, I think it really. For me, it was acknowledging that nobody else was holding me back, but it was myself. And so I think stepping into that, going, I have the power to not let certain things affect me. I have the power to show up and be the, you know, be who I want to be. And so knowing that was very freeing for me to show up differently and to really go, okay, no, I'm. I was the one holding myself back. But no more.
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Yes.
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Because I didn't believe in. I didn't believe. I didn't believe in that piece of it. But I do know.
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Let's talk about a subject that I call life interruptions. So, okay, a lot of times in life, we have momentum. We have momentum. And I coach all these people, as you know, we have momentum, and then a life interruption can happen for. For a young person, it could be they find out their parents are getting divorced. They didn't even know they had problems, but now they're getting divorced. Or for a young person, it could be they find out they have lupus or they have asthma. These are things that when I coach people, they're like, you know, Tim, it changed my whole life. I had asthma since I was 9. So they have these life interruptions. Okay. Then we move on in life, and we get into relationships. We have setbacks, we have challenges. We have these life interruptions. For you. How have you been able to handle what I call recovery and discovery at the same time? Recovery is healing from the past and the present. Discovery is being alive in your presentation and being excited about the future. Because if you're not careful when you're in the recovery zone, watch, you'll just go straight here and just concentrate on all that stuff that's hitting you. How have you been able to do this because since you're like 18, 18 and a half years of age, you've been on this roll, but also being hit by life interruptions at the same time.
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Sure. And I think that's true for anyone. Right. We go through seasons, and I just spoke about this the other day. Whereas not nobody at the end of all of this is going to have a easy life. Right. We're going to have those life interruptions. We're going to have things that break us and that push us down. And, you know, for me is being a mom, that's changed how I get back up with certain things. But with, you know, my past, it's. I have the power to let what has happened to me affect my present. So, yes, going through those interruptions, it's been. I haven't done it perfectly. Especially in my 20s, I chased the wrong things. I chased relationships and wanting to be chosen and loved, so therefore, picking the wrong relationships and not being a great person myself. And so, you know, through that, you just learn and you grow so much. And I really owe a lot to therapy and what I've learned there. EMDR was a huge help for me, overcoming trauma and abuse. And for me, again, it's always going back to me and focusing on my power and my trusting myself. And I think that was a big piece for me that I had to really focus on. And, you know, I don't want to be the person that stays in the victim mentality. I know I speak a lot about my past in, yeah, podcasts and interviews, but for me, it's talking about those things not only in the. In the beginning helped me not feel alone, but also helped other people. And so. But I'm not stuck there. I'm doing it to help empower other people to get unstuck from where they're at, too. And so I've been able to find my power in those moments. And I don't want to stay. I don't want to believe that all men are abusers or bad. I don't want to believe that I'm not worthy or that I'm not lovable. I don't want to have those thoughts. And so with healing and going through therapy and having all the setbacks and from childhood to, you know, 20s, 30s, I want to have the power to know that we are all going to go through seasons. It's not going to be easy. It's going to be hard at times, but we can trust ourselves to walk through that and get to the other side. And I think keeping that Positive mindset is the only way that I'm able to go forward with things. Because I don't want to stay stuck. I don't want to stay not, you know, in a good place because how. How am I going to show up as a mom if I stay stuck in that. How am I going to show up as a person on set if I don't trust myself and move through it? Because that is literally the only way you can get through anything is you have to move through it.
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A
Yeah. And I think that's one reason so many people are following you, both male and female. I saw a interview that you did with three football players, all African American, that they're great. It's one of my favorite. And that, that. That one had like over 500,000 views. But the way you can hold your own with these types of men was. Was really interesting and cool. So I think your daughter's name is Jolie. Is this correct?
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B
Yes, Jolie. Yeah.
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A
What is her age right now?
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B
So she's going to be 10 in January. And where we're at with her is she even has an affirmation poster in her room. And, you know, she's fourth grade is. Is tough. People are starting not to be as nice, and she's will come back and say something. And I said, you know, who. Who said that to you? And what I'm really trying to help her with, not only do we pray every night, we walk through this devotional that we have on her bedside, but it is her knowing God, her knowing that piece there, because I didn't grow up with that. And I. I wish that I had because I didn't know that I could go to someone. And so my faith is really evolved from, you know, becoming a mom and, and instilling that into the kids, but also teaching them and helping them with their affirmations because the world is going to tell them so many things that I hope one day she can remember every night when we say, you know, what's the truth? What's in the truth in the four walls, you are loved, you are smart, you are beautiful, you are brave, you are strong. And it's. I. I hope that when she is. Continues to go on, you know, and when the one day she gets social media, which will not be in my household, but when she decides to, you know, do it on her own when she's out, you know, that she knows what the truth is. And that's what I'm really just trying to embed in her, because I didn't know that as a kid I didn't know that when my dad left, it was, oh, I'm not chosen. I'm not good enough for him to stay. I know that's not the truth now, but that's what I grew up thinking. So I wanted her to know, even with our divorce situation. Your dad loves you. Mommy and daddy just couldn't figure out our stuff, you know.
- [23:48]
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Thank you for watching the Miracle Mentality podcast. So many of my friends are texting me, DMing me, speaking to me and saying, tim, thank you for these great guests that you're bringing on. So share it with somebody, a friend, a family member, a colleague. And then make sure and reach out to us at Tim Tim Story official and let us know that you love what we're doing. Thank you for being a part of this movement. The fact that you went through so many things even as a teenager, I think the thing that you will not do because you're evolved. But I think a lot of mothers would be overprotective to try to make sure that their daughter does not go through what they went through. How do you find that you're not doing that? Because it would be easy to want to drive around in a Brinks truck and just protect her. Does that make sense?
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B
No, for sure. But I mean, one of the things that I also have been teaching them is we all have choices, right. And so sometimes we don't make the best choices, but we talk about it. If she's going to make the bad choice, I kind of watch her through it to go. Okay, how did that one make you feel? Because that didn't end up good, did it? You know?
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Yeah.
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And you had a choice to not say those things to your brother. What are the. You know, So I think it's just kind of like walking her through. But you know, again, she's. Hopefully she will not go through any of the things that I went through. But if she was to, I'm gonna be there for her and. But I, I can't. I can only do so much too, as a parent.
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Okay, so I'm gonna take you somewhere as a friend. So I'm life coaching this guy a couple years ago and he's complaining about his wife.
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B
He's just like, shocker.
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It's just. It's just. Yeah, it's not the same as it used to be. When we were dating, we were physical non stop. And she was this and she was that and she was funny, she was charming, she was this. And that's why I'm playing golf so much, and that's why I'm hanging out with my friends so much. And he really started to piss me off. And part of it is because I was raised by three sisters who are all older than me. And I see what women go through. And then I was raised by my mother, you know, when my father died when I was 10 years of age, my mother raised, raised us. And so I see what women go through. And this guy was just complaining and his wife is so beautiful. So I said, so what are you then saying? He says, I don't know. I'm thinking of having her do a session with you and to try to fix her, because I just wish you would step up. And I go, wow. I don't really even remember saying this, like in a counseling session, but you, you're kind of being an ass. I said, you guys have two kids, both under the age of five. Okay. She leaves her full time job, but she's still working part time because she had opened up a clothing store. Right. So she's doing her clothing store business. She's taking care of the kids, he likes her to cook. Right. And then he's complaining that it's not like it was when they were dating. So when I say that, what goes to your mind?
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B
Well, maybe he's not giving her the love that she needs, you know, and helping out and being there with her, asking her, hey, how can I take some of this load off of you? Because she must. To me, it's. She's overworked.
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A
Yes.
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B
So she probably doesn't want one more thing to do, you know, of course she would like the help. That's what I hear.
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A
Yes. So, you know, when I get around some of my friends, kids, and they are so excited about marriage. Oh my God, Uncle Tim, like, this is a female voice. I can't wait to get married and then I'm going to have kids. But it's all in like the dream fantasy world.
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B
Sure.
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A
I think a lot of people just don't understand. It's a beautiful thing. And because we're both Christians, God's grace is on us to help us. Right. But it is a lot of work to deal with children, a marriage, a business, and crap that you don't see coming in life. Okay, so address that on how you're able to handle that. Usually. Would you give yourself an A, a B or a C on how Jan is handling all this at once?
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B
I would say a B if I was, if I was being honest.
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A
I, I love the honesty.
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B
I'm Definitely not crushing it, you know, but I'm, I always think there's room for improvement, so that's where I'll put. I'm, I don't think I'm near failing, but I, I always believe there is room for improvement and room for growth and room for learning, which is why I would probably always put me at a B, B plus. Because if I was to say I'm an A, that's, I just don't find that to be the truthful answer really, for anybody. Because who's really nailing it? Who's really. Yeah, perfect. I, I, I'm gonna, Right now I feel great, but tomorrow I might be so stressed because I've got all these things I gotta do, and then I'm maybe feeling bummed about a career that, you know, a audition that didn't go through. And so, I mean, we can't carry it all and simply give ourselves an A every day, because I just don't think that's true. But also something that our pastor was talking about in church too, is you can't handle it all yourself. He said it will manifest in everything. If you're holding on to something, it'll manifest in pain in your body. It'll manifest with you not being a good wife or a parent. And the only place you can really go to is, is up and to pray and have him help you, because I think that's my. Where I also go maybe be is because I forget to, to ask for help from the person that can.
- [30:18]
A
I love that you're bringing up these biblical thoughts. And I think that with any of us, you and me, that know how to do things on our own, you're right. Sometimes we need to stop, look and listen because we were so used to having to deal with it on our own before.
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B
And then you start learning, I gotta do it. I'm the only one that can do it. That's actually why I might have been struggling, because I can't do it on my own. No way.
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A
Okay. Talk to the clueless men that are watching and listening right now, because let me tell you, I'm going to confess on myself. So I was married for 11 years. I married into a really good family. She was going to USC at the time. She later goes on and gets her doctorate, becomes a college professor. And what happened with me is my life started to take off as a speaker life coach. Getting into Hollywood, I was so excited about this world that I did not think was going to actually happen to me. So I'd come back And I'd share all that with her. And she wanted to talk many times about, like, the curtains or the carpets or the changes. And then if we'd go to Costco, she wanted me to actually go into Costco with her. And I'd say, like, babe, how about you going to Costco? I got all these calls to make. I'm going to sit out here and make the calls. But don't worry, I'm watching you when you bring the carts out. No, she wanted my butt in the Costco just to spend time with her as well. Right. So that was, like. I was, like, kind of clueless. So even though I was super kind with her, because I'm a kind person, I had such a massive blind spot of, like, what a woman needs, that it doesn't just need to be, like, stimulation of excitement. Sometimes it's just like sitting with somebody and being in the moment, because. So talk to some of us men that have these blind spots about that, the needs of a woman.
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B
You know, it's interesting. And normally I would be like, yeah, I got a whole list that I would tell you. But what I have recently learned is what I could also be doing better as a wife, too, because I. I would like to pose the question almost back to you. Did you feel like you were a safe place for her? Because I don't think. Because we both want a safe place to land, right?
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A
Yeah.
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B
My husband wants a safe place to land. I want a safe place to land. But if we don't feel like that's a safe place, how can you land in that spot? So was I doing?
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A
I was. I thought I was. And this is where I missed it. This is like, I. I coach a lot of men that do well, and this is what they say, look at the house she lives in. Look at the car she drives. Well, see, this is where we're a little bit off.
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B
Yeah, for sure.
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A
But I was. I was only in my 20s, but that's how I thought. I'm like, right, miss, you have a nanny. We have house cleaner. What's. What am I missing here? So. No, I was, like, missing something.
- [33:43]
B
Yeah. And I think. I think we both forget to be that soft place for each other. But also, I will say this to the. To the man and also the woman, too. What were. What we are upset about? Like, if we're getting a fight over a lampshade or the fact that, you know, you don't want to go into Costco with me or whatever it is. It's never really about that. Issue. There's always something underlying. And so instead of attacking the person for, oh, my gosh, of course you're getting upset again how I load the dishwasher because I didn't fix this yet. Go, yeah. Is what's underneath that that is causing you to be upset about this? And I think that's the problem. We're always fighting about the surface stuff, but never going, what's underneath that? Why is she upset about the lampshade? Because it's never really about the lampshade itself. Yeah, it's underneath it. It's a light that's not turned on.
- [34:32]
A
You probably heard this before. So Brene Brown, she talks about in these speeches that she gives that some days, not all days, she'll tell her husband, today, I feel like I'm like, only 30% of myself.
- [34:49]
B
I love that. Yes. Love Brene Brown and that theory.
- [34:52]
A
So can you. Can you pick up the slack? I think this is brilliant. I think it's so brilliant. And I think if I ever got married again, which we won't get into that right now, but if I ever. If I ever did, Jana, I wish I had a little stick thing to put on my. The mirror and say, like, today I'm like, at a 4, so that she knows that I would. That I'm only just feeling like at a 4 because maybe I'm being sued by somebody or something didn't work or my left ankle hurts. Does that make sense? And then she could put next to it, like, I'm at a three. So then, you know, the expectations, like, okay, let's, like, cuddle. Let's nestle next to each other and build each other up. What do you think?
- [35:51]
B
You both need a little love in the 4 and 3, because a 7% is not going to get anybody off the ground. No, I love that. Brene Brown is so good, too. She also talked about, you know, she says, I think it's four great loves, and if you're lucky, it'll be the same four people. There's always something underneath it. Just like when someone's angry, they're not actually angry. They're sad or they're hurt. It's always something underneath that layer. And we can peel back the layers. That's. But unfortunately, that's hard for, you know, people to do because of their own shame or frustrations.
- [36:25]
A
So here's a question that I don't think you've ever received because I think like a life coach.
- [36:30]
B
Okay.
- [36:30]
A
So I was trained by a lady named Dr. Helen Mendez who taught at USC. She was studying life coaching back in 1974 before anybody ever taught thought about it. So most people say that she is the original life coach and she trained me for over 27 years in this whole thing. So I think that with you, sharing about your past pain hurts in relationships. I wonder if that's seasonal or do you think that's something you're going to do for your whole life? Okay, and just think about this for a second because I think sometimes something is seasonal because you just feel almost like now from God that you can unlock people that have gone through this thing. You can unlock them. It's seasonal. But then sometimes it's almost like God says, okay, that was your message then, so now let me put that message on the other side of the closet. And now you have a new message that is like your primary message to share. So the fact of relationships, it's something you still share a lot about. Do you think it's seasonal going to come to an end or do you feel like it's something that you're just going to stick with? Because that's kind of your God plan for me.
- [38:03]
B
I think it's a thread, right? So I don't think it's something that I want to be my main focus. I don't want to be known just for the girl that got cheated on and how she came to the other side. But I do believe it's a thread through it all. So, yeah, I will speak on it, but the main thread of it is trusting yourself, loving yourself, believing in yourself and. Yeah, and finding happiness within you. And finding happiness, the healing within you. I think that is more powerful than how to leave a cheating husband. Because at the end of the day, even my therapist was like, I'm not telling you what to do. I want you to tap into you. And that is where the healing work will be had. And so I think, yes, it's a. It's a thread, but it's not. It's not my total mission or, or you know, what will be the end thing that I speak about. I really want it to go back to the person mirror, like to mirror back to the woman that's standing there. Because you go through so much in life that isn't that piece of being cheated on and going through that does not hold me down. It's how I move through it with the threat of it all.
- [39:17]
A
I love that. And that's a lot of maturity in thinking that way. So I'll give you a Bible verse and then let's see what we do with this. Okay, so there's a scripture that says, forget about the former things and do not dwell on the past. So the word dwell there means to meditate. So there was a pastor years ago named Robert Schuller, and he would say, when you go through problems, don't nurse it, don't curse it, and don't rehearse it. So the Bible says, forget about the former things and do not dwell on your past. And then it says, for behold, the word behold in the Hebrew means look up and pay attention. And then it says, so behold, I am doing a new thing. Watch how powerful this is. The word new in the Hebrew means never been done before. Never been done before. So how awesome is that for me and you, that God is going to take us into places, Jannah, that we've never been before. Never been done before. But part of that is we have to continue to let go of some of the former things and not dwell. We can grow from them, but we have to behold that God is doing a new thing, never been done before. So when I say that Bible verse, what goes to your mind?
- [40:43]
B
You know, for me, it kind of goes back to the whole theory of not sitting in it. If you are in a. And I look at it, I look more visual. So I am in the woods, and it is dark, and it is gloomy and foggy. To not dwell in it is to sit in that wooded, dark place. You have to walk through the woods, and that is when you're going to see the light. That's when the storm is going to go. That's when God is going to walk you. You have to go through that. Because when you are lost in the woods, there is an out. You just got to find it, and you have to be the one to walk through it. You can't sit in it. You can find. For when you first find out about something, yes, sit, cry, be angry, whatever. And then you gotta get up, you gotta. You have to see again. And there is light that is going to come and you're gonna say, like, is that light? And then it's gonna get lighter, and it's gonna get lighter and it's gonna get lighter and. And then you're on a new path. You're on a new. You have a new vision now again, you can go. There'll be the setbacks that you talk about. You will find the woods again. But you also have tools to go. There's the woods or there's the path. There's the lighter path. You're going to know a little bit more detours to not go back into the woods because you trust yourself more to not go into the woods.
- [41:55]
A
I like this for a book idea for you. Are you. Are you working on a book now?
- [42:02]
B
Yeah, so I'm working on the proposal now for the. For the third book. And it is really about honing in on trusting yourself and. But yeah, that. That could be a good piece of it right there.
- [42:13]
A
No, I like that.
- [42:13]
B
I've never really spoken about that.
- [42:16]
A
Yeah. And I think the. The side of you to be on more stages that we talk about and you teaching classes and having courses is just it, I think, as part of your next stage of your God idea plan. So let's get the Oscar and do that at the same time. I think we can do both.
- [42:34]
B
I'm good with an Emmy too. Like, they're both equally great. So.
- [42:38]
A
Okay, just so we're speaking that up to you, God, she'll do the Emmy and maybe the Oscar.
- [42:45]
B
I'd prefer not a Razzie, but if we could do at least an Emmy, that would be great.
- [42:50]
A
Exactly. Okay, final question. Yep. Give me a time recently where you felt peace. P, E, A, C, E. You felt peace, and you felt okay with yourself. But I'll say something with my life where I felt peace. I was just driving one day, and I was just decided to turn the music off, and I was just okay. I was just okay. It was such a weird feeling to just be okay. There was no chase. There was no big fear about, what if this doesn't happen? Or how are my kids? Or anything. It was just like this peace. And to me, it was almost like this thing, like the Bible says, a peace that passes all understanding. Janet was so strong and powerful, it was almost weird. But I'm learning to step into that peace and live in that peace. So give me time recently that you just felt a peace, like, wow, I think I'm gonna be okay.
- [43:59]
B
It was actually a couple weeks ago, I was in Florida, and I will say water for me, anytime I'm. I'm around water, it just calms me. It's something that I. If I feel clouded or, you know, just stressed, I. My therapist always says, go find water. Whether it's a stream or a lake or an ocean. And the last time that I really felt that peace was at the.
- [44:20]
A
The.
- [44:21]
B
The. In Florida with my kids. Because just being that close to water, having my feet in the water, sitting on the sands, having my kids around, laughing like that brings me the ultimate peace. Hearing the waves of the Ocean and. And knowing that my kids are happy and healthy and I feel at peace and loved was. Was a. Was great. And that's where, again, I feel. I always feel closest to God when I'm. When I'm at an ocean.
- [44:50]
A
No, but I think that's so powerful because when you think of you coming from Michigan, coming to la and everything is not sorted out, it's almost hard to have peace, mostly without connecting to the Prince of peace. God. But to have that moment, but to know that not only can you have it, but you can stay in it.
- [45:16]
B
Yeah.
- [45:17]
A
As we end, tell me why you like this interview that we just did.
- [45:20]
B
Tim, you're not only a friend, but you. You get me excited about my potential, too. And I think that's what I've always loved about, is that you see maybe the pieces of me that I'm afraid to. To explore or to try. And you give me that feeling of just being excited and to really bet on myself. And I just. I love how you go. You go there with. With all of it. You go there spiritually, you go there, you know, just through. We can have setbacks, but we are our believe our greatest comebacks, you know, and, yeah, we can all have that. We can all experience. And I think you are a testament to that.
- [46:04]
A
And thank you. And I look forward to collaborating with you. I think we're going to do a lot of great things and help millions and millions of people. I appreciate Allen. He's been great to me. We have great talks. So happy about what you guys are doing and your children and life is good. So thank you for continuing to help people, what you're doing with the podcast and everything you're doing.
- [46:33]
B
And thank you for being there for us, too. So we appreciate you.
- [46:37]
A
Yes. All right, so thank you for watching the Miracle Mentality today. I think this is my favorite episode now. So make sure and follow Jana Kramer. We'll put all her information so you can continue to watch her podcast. But, I mean, just think about the takeaways, what she's saying. When we got into this thing about do not dwell on the past, for behold, God is doing a new thing. And she talks about, you know, moving on and moving forward and being resilient and being excited about the future. And so life is good. And so don't ever forget this, that you may not be what you want to be, but thank God you're not what you used to be. Life is good. See you soon. Thank you. Thank you for sharing space with me on this episode of Miracle. Mentality with Tim Storey. If today sparked your courage or helped you understand why you're created for success, I invite you to carry that miracle mentality forward. Visit me@timstory.com that story with an ey on the end. Until next time, walk by faith, embrace possibility, and create your own comeback story.