← Miracle Mentality with Tim Storey (Motivation, Self Help, and Mental Health)
Miracle Mentality with Tim Storey (Motivation, Self Help, and Mental Health)
The Power of Confidence: Heather Monahan on Why Dimming Your Light Never Brings Success
00:52:21
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- [00:00]
A
And I remember coming in excited to be the best that I could be. I wanted to be number one in the company. Having a lot of people talk to me about, no, no, you don't do it that way. No, you can't do it that way. No, you need to dial it down, dim your light, be smaller. I became number one on that team and I got so much negative feedback from people. And I remember feeling like this is not what winning is supposed to feel like.
- [00:22]
B
Heather Monahan is an entrepreneur, bestselling author, and motivational speaker who empowers others to build confidence and achieve success.
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A
Where do I go? What do I need help? And that brought about health issues, massive problems, going to sleep at night. You know, I actually threw my back out. You know, a lot of problems when I intentionally tried to dim my light. And I had to reinvent myself. Once I did that and saw the doors that started opening for me.
- [00:48]
B
Talk to me a little bit about the favor of God that you sense on your life.
- [00:53]
A
It's been nothing short of miraculous, what I've seen.
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B
Hello, my name is Tim Story. Welcome to Miracle Mentality. Remember rooftops drawing spaceships on the ground. It's for the dreamers, the doers, the believers in something greater. In each episode, I'll invite you to rise above the mundane, to push past the messy and learn to live boldly in the miraculous. Every episode will have practical wisdom, spiritual insight, and my guests will explore what it takes to activate your miracle mindset. Remember to subscribe, follow and like welcome to Miracle Mentality. My name is Tim Story and I, like you, believe in miracles. A miracle is something extraordinary, uncommon, not normal. And today we're going to talk about miracles. And do they work in your life? Can they change your life? Miracles are not just to get you out of something, but to get you into something. My guest today is a author, phenomenal one, a speaker, one of the best in the world, and an entrepreneur and somebody that I consider a real friend. Let's welcome Heather Monan. Heather, good to see you.
- [02:16]
A
It's great to see you, Tim. Thanks so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
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B
So, Heather, I've been studying this idea of miracles for probably like 30 years and you are a miracle thinking person. So if you were to break down the word miracle means extraordinary, uncommon, not regular. So when you were five, six or seven years of age, what did little Heather even dream about becoming with all that innocence?
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A
You know what's wild is when I was a little kid, I wanted to be an actress. And I can still remember, Tim. I don't know, you know, where that dream came from or whatever calling was on my heart that I felt that that was for me. But I remember being 10 years old and in a play at school and someone saying to me, you know, you can't do this for a living. This can't be your life. Like, you know, no one can make it at this. And I remember accepting that as, oh, okay, thank you for telling me that, you know, thank you for teaching me what my limits are cut to, you know, now I'm 50 years old, and I travel around the world to speak on stages. And it's so. It's just so interesting that you have a calling on your heart when you're young that is probably so divinely led, you just don't realize it until everyone gets you off track and you stumble and somehow get back on track, hopefully by. By the time you're my age.
- [03:48]
B
I1 I 100% agree. So in my research that I've done, like, children five, six, or seven, let me tell you some of the things they think about becoming. They think about being an actor. They think about being a professional athlete of some sort. A lot of people still think about becoming superheroes because we end up becoming superheroes many times in life. It's interesting that a lot of little kids think about being veterinarians, but one of the things that you find in innocence is that kids think big. Like, they think it can really happen, but then they find themselves getting limited by their mentors or their tutors or coaches or their parents. So let's talk about that. So let's talk about you when you were little and having what I call a miracle mentality. Give me somebody positive that tried to stir the pot like Heather. You know, you really can have an amazing life.
- [04:59]
A
I remember my coach in softball in high school and this massive belief that she had in me, and she would speak life into me all the time, and I forgot about it, which I think this happens for a lot of us that, you know, so memories are so long ago that you just kind of forget about these people. And I was blessed to be hired by my high school to come back and speak for them. A couple of years ago, she's still there. And when I saw her, immediately, she said, I always knew the greatness within you. And she started speaking this belief into me, and it triggered the memory that she always spoke to me that way. There were not a lot of people that spoke with that level of confidence to me. The way that she did, but she really sticks out. And still a champion, still someone cheering for me. And it just, it was such an amazing feeling to go back there and remember, wow, this was such a positive experience with someone who truly, truly believed in me.
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B
So that's such an amazing thing because that's what you ended up doing. Becoming a person that God is using literally all over the world. And we'll talk more about this in a little while, but you speak life into people, you speak encouragement into people. But what we're really doing is we're speaking reality into people because we really believe that their lives are supposed to be supernatural and extraordinary. And so I want to get into this idea of how many times we have big plans. So I talk about that. There's three levels of living. There is utmost, which is the highest. There is, there is most, which means there's a ceiling and then there's almost. Almost means something. Almost worked. Okay. So by knowing you as a friend and reading your books and hearing you speak many, many times and just doing so phenomenal on stages, there was a time you were stuck in an almost life. Like you were almost happy, it was almost working. Give me an early time in your life where you felt like you were stuck in the almost.
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A
So when I graduated from college, I had been bartending all through school, you know, to pay bills and whatnot. And. And bartending is, is essentially sales, right? And so I was learning sales and I started noticing the cars people were driving. So I started asking, what do you do for a living? To give me an idea of how I could make a lot of money and be successful. And I stumbled into this idea of, you know, becoming a salesperson in the wine business. It was heavily male dominated industry at the time. I was living in Boston, Massachusetts, and there were three women on a team of a hundred men. I was one of the women. So already we were a little bit different than everybody else there. And I remember coming in really excited to. I wanted to, you know, be the best that I could be. I wanted to be number one in the company. And having a lot of people talk to me about, no, no, you don't do it that way. No, you can't do it that way, no, you need to dial it down. You know, a lot of the messaging that the everybody hears out in the world, you know, dim your light, be smaller. And I kept going for more, going for more. I became number one on that team. And I got so much negative feedback from people. And I just, I remember feeling like this is not what Winning is supposed to feel like. It's not supposed to feel that you're doing everything wrong and feel bad about, you know, the people around you and the comments that they're making. And that was one of my first experiences with. When you turn your light up, there's gonna be haters that are gonna come. There's gonna be people that don't like, you know, that you're doing things differently. And it was one of those almost, you know, I felt like I was almost making it, but I wasn't happy. I didn't like the environment. And it was. It was definitely a negative environment for.
- [08:51]
B
Me, which I ultimately left, which is an amazing thing. And we've talked about this before, just as friends, that when you have what I believe is God's favor on you like you do, that there's always an opposition to the mission. And it's almost like the dark side will many times fill people up with negative things just to oppose you. So let's say if you have a light bulb at 100 watts, it would be so easy for some to dim it and dim themselves to 80 watts. Maybe for a man they're dating or for a friend that they need to get along with or someone that's been jealous. Okay. Has there been a temptation at time to dim your watt because you come in so bright?
- [09:44]
A
Oh, my gosh, yeah. So that example that I just shared subconsciously, I'm sure taught me on some level that if you dial yourself all the way up, you're going to offend people. So, you know, I moved from that situation into the radio business, became an equity partner and definitely dialed my light up again and was met with massive resistance again. So slowly I was teaching or acknowledging that people did not like when I did that. And so each time, I think I would play a little bit smaller, but not noticeable, even to myself. I wasn't recognizing it until I. I'll never forget when I was in corporate America, I was in the C suite, a chief revenue officer in media, working side by side with another female. And that's when I started noticing that I was trying to dial myself down and dim my light because I really wanted this other woman to like me. And I could see. See the tension. She didn't like me. She, you know, she felt threatened by me. So I. I intentionally decided, okay, I'm going to try to be a smaller version of myself, which was the worst decision in the world. It's not going to benefit anybody else, not going to benefit me. It's not going to Benefit anyone. And so I, I intentionally did that, and that brought about health issues, massive, you know, problems going to sleep at night. You know, I actually threw my back out. You know, a lot of problems when I intentionally tried to dim my light.
- [11:07]
B
That's. It's amazing that that even affected your sleep, your health. It's. It's kind of like the body kept a score that you were not in alignment with what God had created you to be. And that is the hundred watt Heather. So I want to go somewhere with this for a minute because I think you could really help some people that I feel that there's so many people that they have these gifts and they share them with the wrong people. And the wrong people don't understand the, the God idea that somebody has been given. And so because of that, they decide to become what I call a discount version of themselves. And so give me a time. Let's say even in a relationship with a man where you felt like maybe you had to become, or you became a, a discount version of yourself because you didn't want to leave this man behind and maybe you became too much for him.
- [12:13]
A
Yeah, that definitely has been an issue in my romantic life. And I've been told by a lot of people on the outside, you know, you're a lot. You're. Wow, you're a lot. You're, you know, you're very confident. Your, Your energy is very big. We were just talking about this yesterday. You know, all these different things that in some ways are a beautiful. I should feel proud of, but in some ways that people would explain to me, oh, hey, Heather, that's really uncomfortable for others and in the dating realm. And you should try not to be yourself, which I truly believe is the worst advice anyone can give you. Always be yourself and your right people are going to find you. But, you know, not knowing it at the time or also when you. I found for me, if I'm struggling with things at work, like during that window of time when I had that woman that really hated me made it known I was trying to dim my light. I carried that over into my personal life. Right. And so, and I think that happens for a lot of people, that there's, you know, a thread going through your life. It's not necessarily just in one arena, right. Like, you have the most amazing. You're super strong and confident in your personal life, you're super strong and confident with your friends, but then you're really dimming your light at work. It's probably going to bleed over into, into other things. And that's definitely what happened for me. I stopped advocating for myself, you know, owning my beliefs, even in my romantic relationship during that exact same time. And when I look back, it's so crystal clear now. However, it was not clear at the time, even though I had had a couple of friends say to me, you know, I really can't believe you're going to marry him. Or I just, I don't see you guys together. And I would think to myself, you know what? Just, I've got enough problems going on in my life right now. We've just got to keep things moving forward and I'll figure out these different situations later. But it really, I didn't accept it or acknowledge it or deal with it until I ended up getting fired from that job, which was a completely. It was a blessing in disguise. I didn't know it at the time. And I had to reinvent myself. I had an 18 month non compete, non solicit. And so I had to leave the industry I had expertise in and really step into uncertainty in a big, scary way. Once I did that and saw the doors that started opening for me and in the opportunities that flooded to me, I started thinking, wait a minute, is this the only place that I've been settling? Was it just at work? And that's. Within months, I was awoken to the idea that I'm settling in this relationship too, and I ended that relationship.
- [14:40]
B
No, but I love what you just said because in order to have a comeback, one of the steps I say is, number one, is you have to become awake. And then secondly, you take inventory. So that's what you did. You took inventory on the situation and said, hey, this is not a good situation for me and I need to do something about it. So we're talking about the miracle mentality. So a mentality, as you know, is a mindset. It's a point of view. So in studying your books, I look at, you know, what you did in radio, and you were doing radio when it was hot, hot, hot, and even when it was not, not, not, but you were like living at the high standard. Then you become an entrepreneur, you go to the high standard, you come into what's called the thought leader space. So that would be the Oprah Winfrey's, the Brene Browns, the Elizabeth Gilberts. You come into this space and like all of a sudden, like, who is this Heather Monahan? And I remember years ago, people started just telling me about you on the road because I've been in this for so long, and they Would say, oh, my God, there's this lady. She's like, so good. She's teaching on this. So good. And then when I saw you first time in person, I was like, yes, yes, and more yeses. Because I loved your authenticity on stage, your sense of humor, the fact that you actually really care. Okay, talk to me about motive. I think motive is so important in what we do as speakers. Why do you care so much about the listener, the audience, that even after you speak, I see you standing around forever really talking and listening to people talk to me about motive in the space that we're in as communicators.
- [16:55]
A
Well, you are the ultimate teacher on that, right? And I'll never forget the first time I saw you speak live and watch how you. You did not run away. You engage with the crowd. So many speakers in our arena run off, take off, and in no judgment, right? That's. That's up to them, however they want to run their business and their situation, their brand. But you have always been the leader that way that immerses themselves. So I follow your lead on that. So thank you for that. Thank you for leading. But, you know, for me, I just. I go back to the example of my softball coach, right? She made time for me. She spoke life into me. She saw something in me. If we can do that for one person, if we can do that for an audience, if we can do that for a group of people, that domino effect that it has in the world is so massive and so incredible, and it lights me up inside. I get so excited about it. You know, it's just. That's something that I feel like God puts a calling on your life, and when you start stepping into it and start seeing the impact you can have on others, it's truly. Is miraculous. And I'm so grateful every day for that. So I use. I'll never forget that when I gave my TedX, I was really nervous because I had never done a scripted talk before, and it felt very contrived and forced and not me. And so I was struggling with anxiety before giving it. And I remember closing my eyes right before I went out, and I said, heather, forget everything right now. If you can impact one person with this talk, then it's worth it. If you don't go out there, you're never going to forgive yourself. And so that's kind of been my driver in. In this business is if I can just help one person the way somebody helped me one day, just like that softball coach, you know, she spoke life into me. If I can do that for one person. This is all so worth it. And the reality is, and you know this, as we take bigger and bigger stages and, and get larger reach opportunities, we can impact millions of people. And that's when it's just, it's, it's.
- [18:47]
B
Pretty incredible, you know, as both of us being Christians and giving our lives to Christ at some point in our life, but really being really into Jesus and the Jesus style and wanting to serve people. I think that we both have had these conversations that we are just stewards of what God has given us. And so, you know, I think we're going to see TV open for you even in a bigger way. You've done things on television. I think stages all over the world will continue to open for you. We'll talk a little bit of you being in the Middle east recently and all those divine doors that have happened. But one of the reasons we believe this is because, number one, we have a God idea. Secondly, if we're obedient to that God idea, somebody is waiting for us on the other side of our obedience. Okay, so talk to me about the last couple years where you feel like God has really been crystallizing your God idea, your calling, your specific calling. Talk to us about how you feel like your calling has been a little more crystallized even in the last few years.
- [20:06]
A
Yeah, I've got to run it back for a minute to give a little context here. So I grew up Catholic, you know, was always in the Catholic Church. And I remember when I got divorced years ago, feeling a little disappointed in the Catholic Church. A little. You know, I didn't, I wasn't so fired up about religion per se anymore. And so that created some space. I have an 18 year old son. During COVID he just like everyone else, went through a really hard time. He wasn't playing basketball because basketball leagues were, you know, he was working at home on school, Zoom school. His dog died, his grandfather passed away. He went through a very hard time during COVID And one day he came out of his room and said to me, mom, we need to get closer to God. And I luckily have a good friend in John Gordon, who you know, is definitely a leader in, you know, in the Florida area, which I'm in.
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I'm a fantastic leader and just a really good man, John.
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A good, good man. And so I knew that if I reach out to him, he'd help. Guy. I didn't know what church to go to in Miami. I didn't know what to do. And so I text Him. And I said, my son just said this to me, where do I go? What do I do? I need help. And he said, I want you to go to VU Church, Rich Wilkerson Jr. And start taking your son there immediately. And I did. And it was this great prescription for me that not only did it get my son so incredibly connected to Jesus and community and God and, but it did so much more for me that I had not expected, I needed. And my son is so happy now. Here we are, you know, five years later. He's so evolved. He. I swear, I think this kid could end up being a pastor. He's incredibly close to Jesus, reads the Bible every day. He's light years ahead of me. But one of the things that it unlocked for me was this relationship with Jesus Christ that I had never had even, you know, through my whole entire life with Catholicism. And so it's been nothing short of miraculous what I've seen happen. And the evolution of. Yes, my business has evolved. I've written books, launched podcasts, you know, started the speaking career, started consulting career. But during this time and over, specifically over the last five years, it became obvious to me that part of my mission is to bring people close to Jesus Christ that didn't, that didn't know him. And I never would have thought that was the case. A decade ago, I never would have thought that was the case. When I was in corporate America, I didn't know I had that within me. I really, and even you and I were just talking about this, you know, how can I lean more into that now? And it's like anything when you're, you feel a little uncertain. Am I qualified enough? I've never been a pastor. Is it possible for me to do these things? You're constantly having to say, yes, I feel that calling in my heart. Yes, it's telling me, you know, that I am impacting and helping other people. I need to keep stepping into that uncertainty and moving forward and, and, and let God show me that path in that divine way for me.
- [23:06]
B
Yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm loving, loving what's happening to you, because when we look at your social media, we'll see you many times on what we call a secular stage, which would be a non religious stage. And you're talking and then all of a sudden you'll show yourself from Vue Church on Sunday, which I love. Rich Wilkerson Jr. I've known him since he was even, like a young teen. And you're not ashamed of the gospel because the gospel has Changed your life. And I think that this is so awesome because me and you are not religious. We are people that love Jesus. We believe in the Jesus style, which is serving people, loving people, having compassion on people. And it's amazing when you walk in God, how there's this divine favor that can happen to you. Talk to me a little bit about the favor of God that you sense on your life and even the favor of God that got you into the Middle East.
- [24:16]
A
Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So that's so interesting. So one of the things over the last five years as I've, you know, really stepped into my faith, I pray about everything now. And so an opportunity that you mentioned was for me to speak a couple years ago was the first time I went to the Middle east, to Saudi Arabia on a stage for 200,000 people. The largest tech conference in the world. It's called Leap. And when you get an opportunity like that, of course you want to take it. But then there's also the other side. I'm a single mother. I'm raising a young man. I am a glass of milk. What's, you know, this girl going to be doing out in Saudi Arabia? Is that even safe? I had no idea. So I consulted with a few people and of course, like anything, people want to protect you. So everyone telling me, do not go. But to me, I'm thinking, gosh, if there is not large female representation in the Middle east, which we know there's not, maybe this is something I'm called to do, to help others see what's possible for them. And so I prayed about it. I prayed a lot about it. And I just coming back to this idea that again, I'm supposed to be there. I have no idea how. I don't speak Arabic. You know, I don't know what. I don't know how I'm going to land with these people. I pray I'll be okay. But I just kept praying and it just kept on my heart was, I gotta go. I have to go to Saudi Arabia. So I did. And I was very nervous going there. I prayed to God for my safety on that trip. And when I tell you, Tim, it was incredible. The team that surrounded me there, they pulled together a team of people that knew I love Biggie Smalls and Tupac and that I love the NBA. I mean, these guys in the people that they surrounded with were like my homies from Miami, New York. It was. It was unbelievable. From the minute I landed in Saudi Arabia, I was taken such incredible care of by people who Were very like minded, that were like having fun, doing good, loving their work. And it was just an incredible experience. And one of the things that happened that was really fun for me was seeing that obviously you have to dress very differently over there and there's a lot of cultural situations that you have to respect and be respectful of. And of course I did that. But one of the things that was really interesting was for women to see a woman on these stages because there, there really are not many. There might not be anywhere near equal representation in the United States, but it's much worse in the Middle East. And so getting the opportunity, suddenly I started having young ladies show up at my hotel just to see what I wore in the morning when I was leaving the hotel, because they were so intrigued, right? This idea of what was possible for them. And this one young lady that I met, I was talking to her, I said, listen, I want you to work on a plan to create a product so that you can start selling something while you sleep. That's what I wish I had known when I was younger. Fast forward to a year later, I'm back in Saudi Arabia speaking at the same conference. And that young lady came up to me and told me she'd created a product line of fake eyelashes that were going to be available for sale in Saudi Arabia in the next month. And, and so, you know, here I had this chance to speak an opportunity into her. She took the ball and ran with it. And now her life has changed because she was getting exposure to someone from a different culture, different community. Where I see things are possible here. She had never thought about them that way. And it was just one of those moments where you realize you're being called to do something. You might feel uncertain, pray about it, ask for God's guidance and favor and, and then have faith and go that you can do something good, that you can help others and let that opportunity unfold right before you.
- [27:50]
B
I love what you're saying because again, it's. It's like there is a God idea. If you're obedient to that God idea, which obedience is a word that a lot of people don't like, especially little children like obey. But when you're obedient to God's plan for your life, somebody is waiting and we never knew it would be that lady. And then it would have so much impact. And now you continue to get invited to the Middle east and then all these other doors are, are opening to you. So what I think, and I like to hear your take on this, it Makes life so much more exciting than us just always deciding things and then deciding things and deciding things. Because I think in the realm of God, some is decision, but some is discovery. Okay, so give me one discovery that you've had in 2025 that's been kind of awesome, where you feel like God's taking you into a new place or new ideas or new thoughts or new peace or new Heather, give me something that I might not even know as your friend.
- [29:10]
A
So one of the prayers that I say often is the prayer Jabez, which is really about expanding your reach so that you can impact and help more people. And that's a prayer that I've been saying, you know, for the last few years, not knowing. And it's to your point, it's kind of like letting go, Let God, wherever I'm supposed to be, please guide me there to reach more people. And I don't know how that will show up or look in my life. I just know that I'm called to do more. And one day I end up landing on the school of Hard Knocks, which is a viral video platform on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube. And this young man, James, interviews me, asking for sales advice. My entire career was rooted in sales and sales leadership up until the time I was 43 when I was fired. And so I forget sometimes that that's expertise that I have, you know, on the ready that I can share with anybody. So I shared it with James, and on a platform that he doesn't interview a lot of women, and when he does interview women, it's not around sales. So when we were done with that video, he said, heather, this is going to go viral. And I said, well, what does that even. What does viral even mean? I feel like people throw that around so readily. And he said, I think we're going to reach 10 million people with this. And I said, okay, well, I hope we can help some people and I hope we can, you know, make an impact. And. And it was one of those moments that I didn't know what to expect. So I really wasn't expecting anything. But I think it goes back to the prayer of Jabez. That video so far last night, I actually was looking at it because my Instagram following is growing so much lately. It was at 51 point something million views, and it. It just keeps spiking and spiking, and it's unbelievable attraction it's getting. And what that in turn has done is led so many people to my social media, which is leading them to my message. About Jesus or my message, about confidence or amazing.
- [30:57]
B
So from.
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A
It's unbelievable, and it's so unpredictable. It was something I never would have. I didn't plan for. I didn't devise this. It's something that came to me.
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B
So I was looking through social media when that popped up, and I was in shock because I know how good you are and how great you are at bantering, but you were so, like, on that day, just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And even when I was watching that, I had a similar feeling of, oh, my, she's on. Like, this is the beautiful thing about, like, the miracle mentality, because a miracle will always take you beyond. And that day when you woke up, you didn't think that, hey, some guy named James is going to find me. We're going to shoot a video. It's going to reach, you know, tens of millions of people. It's going to help a lot of people. A lot more people are going to follow. So that is a really good example of how when you follow God, he takes you into the surplus. Okay, so let me go into another side of your life. What do you do when so many people are following you and looking up to you and you're having a down day? So I think for. For me, just because I've been optimistic since I was a kid, so elementary school, junior high, high school, college, I've always been known as, like, optimistic. But there are times, because of what I do for work, I hear, like, terrible things. Like, somebody's daughter ran away or someone was incarcerated, or, you know, just terrible things. I hear them, so. May not be my own life, but it's something I heard, and I carry that thing with me. So now I have to kind of, like, fight through the day while I'm still being Tim Storey. Okay. What do you do on a day that doesn't feel so miraculous? How do you get through it?
- [33:12]
A
I mean, this is. People are gonna loathe this response. But the best thing that can help me turn a situation around, number one, is go for a run. That's just. This is, like, where I am. I feel closest to God. I feel like my best ideas come to me. I've got my music going, and I just. I love being in motion. Right? So to me, if I need to separate from something negative and change my attitude, I want to be outside running. That's number one. But that doesn't always happen, Right. Maybe you're traveling in a different city and you need to go give a speech. And you. There's no Time for that, right? So another thing that I'll do is I connect with. I have one playlist. It's like the playlist of my life that completely alters how I'm thinking, and I get in a zone that is wild. It just puts, you know, I. I've trained my brain to do this, so I will oftentimes listen to this playlist if I need to, really change my attitude and change my energy. But the other thing that I'll do is I'll do something nice to help somebody else. It is unbelievable. It sounds so simple, but it's unbelievable how no matter what situation we're in, there's always somebody in a worse situation out there. That's just fact. That's life, right? No matter how bleak one situation can be, there's going to be somebody else struggling in a bigger, more challenging way. And so anytime we can extend a hand and help somebody, and it can be as simple as answering someone's question on a dm and they're so grateful that you're helping and giving them mentoring advice. Or, or it could be that you put a post up, you know, encouraging other people and acknowledging that you are struggling. But here are some of the things that you're going to do, and you want to hear what they're going to do to help turn their day around. Or it can just literally being picking up somebody's groceries and helping, you know, bring them to the building, but just doing something kind for somebody else. The person that benefits the most is you, because you will just feel like such a better, like, version of yourself. And it just reminds you, listen, things might be tough right now, but they're not always going to be tough. And there's something good that I can do in this moment.
- [35:02]
B
Okay, so there's not too many days that you just hide at home and then just cuddle up and feel sorry for yourself. Is that what you're telling me?
- [35:14]
A
That's not my regular. No, that. That's definitely not happening often in this house.
- [35:19]
B
I just. I just kind of feel like it's just not in you. That would. That would. That would be very foreign to you, right?
- [35:27]
A
I don't do sad well. And it's funny that you said, you say this because I. I was going through a tough situation, ending a relationship, and I was with my girlfriends, and I said, oh, this is the weirdest thing. I. I feel sad. I don't do sad well. It's not my thing. Some people, actually, I. I see them enjoy, you know, a level of sadness like, you can see they feel very comfortable in that. I feel very uncomfortable. So it's hard for me to go through that and then say, okay, I need to shift this back into something good. Like, who can I help? What good can I do? What can I engage in right now that's positive, that can get me back in motion again, doing the things that I love and acknowledging and being grateful for what I do have. Even when those moments come that make you feel a little bit sad.
- [36:08]
B
Okay, so I'm going to walk you through something that is very interesting. It's called the stages of life. So birth to 20 is stage number one. Age 20 to 40 is stage number two. Stage number three is age 40 to 60. Okay. And then obviously you have the next stage is 60 to 80, 80 to 100, 100 to 120. Okay, so don't give me your age again because you do not look your age, but for some reason, you give it out. But at the stage of life that you're in, I want you to really hear this. Do you feel like you're right on time? Do you feel like you're ahead of schedule? Or do you feel like you're behind in the area of your goals, in your dreams that God has placed in your heart in the stage you're in right now?
- [37:06]
A
I think I'm right on time, right. I would have never. Without some of these setbacks that I had that obviously, you know, took me off track and whatnot, I wouldn't have ended up to where I'm divinely led to be. So I had to go through. That's something that I can process and understand now. For a while, I felt upset about it, right? Like, that got me off course, and I should have started my personal brand years ago. I wouldn't, you know, be in this mess to begin with. But now I realize all of those situations were life lessons teaching me things that now I can share and teach to other people from firsthand experience. And I wouldn't be, you know, where I am today without the conversation we had last night. Like, I feel like everything is happening at that right time. I wouldn't have the courage or confidence to start speaking up about my relationship with. With my faith had I not gone through these other challenges and they and my son had not. And the testimony that I, you know, have lived through over the last five years. I wouldn't be prepared for this stuff if it wasn't happening right now. So I'm super excited. I think. I think I'm on time.
- [38:08]
B
Okay. What would you say to the people that feel like they're behind schedule? Because, as you know, I life coach people, and a lot of people even that do well, they'll say, tim, I'm behind. I should have done this by now. And you're, like, thinking like, holy shmoly. You already have this huge company, you have a great family, you have great kids, but yet they feel like they're behind schedule. What would you say to people that feel like they're behind schedule and they're trying to play catch up?
- [38:37]
A
I would say, first and foremost, give yourself grace. Right? Everybody deserves grace. Next, Forgive yourself. Whatever it is that you know, forgiveness is such a powerful tool, and not only to forgive others, but forgive yourself. Too often I think we are our own worst critic. We, you know, comparison is the thief of all joy. And when we look around the world and create these false narratives for what's happening for other people, we're only putting people, other people on a pedestal and putting ourselves beneath them. I believe we live in a world where everyone should be treated as equals. And that means taking people off of pedestals and not creating a fake narrative that you know nothing about because someone's Instagram story looks good. The reality is we never know the true story of what's happened in anybody's home other than the one that we live in. And I just think, like, give yourself forgiveness, give yourself grace, and be your number one champion and cheerleader and watch how your life starts changing. Be grateful for all that you have, and more things that you will be grateful for will come to you. The more you are difficult on yourself and beat yourself up. My therapist in college used to say, how's that working out for you, that whole beating yourself up thing?
- [39:43]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [39:43]
A
Not well. Right? It's not working out well. So if we know that the math doesn't work, beating yourself up and telling yourself that you're not further far enough along and that you know you're not keeping up with the Joneses, that's not going to help you. In fact, it's going to hold you back even more. It's going to get you to play even smaller. It's going to keep you stuck. Why not start setting yourself up for success if it hasn't been working up till now? Doing it this way? Why don't we try a new way?
- [40:06]
B
Okay, so I want you to really take this in, because this is like, this is reality. This is not something that I'm just making up. So you are one of the top speakers in the world. The world is a big place. Like, there's a lot of people that just think in terms of a few American speakers, but the world is a big place. I've now been to 82 countries speaking. It's a very big place. Now, as one of the best speakers in, in the world, do you ever feel like you're in competition with people? Or do you feel like you're just happy to be there? Or do you just feel like I'm here because God sent me here and now I'm now just doing my job? What, what goes through your mind with being in this position in these platforms? Because you're, you're doing the biggest platforms with the biggest speakers and more and more is coming. So what does that, what does that feel like?
- [41:14]
A
All of them. Right. So on any given day it can be. I can feel so divinely led and called. I know I'm supposed to be on this stage and I'm so grateful God has brought me here and it's amazing. Incredible. Then other days I'm completely intimidated and wondering if these people even want me to win and am I being set up for failure and second guessing and questioning myself. On another day, I can feel I do belong here and I am amongst peers and this is an amazing feeling and I'm so proud and grateful I get that opportunity to do what I love. So it's a juxtapose of emotions all over, depending on if I've slept much the night before, if I'm in a hotel.
- [41:56]
B
Yeah, right.
- [41:56]
A
Like so many different things. What's going on in my personal life with my son, you know, how things are at home with my son. There's so many external factors that can factor in how you feel. But for me it's really. And I know you're the same way. It's about the audience. The more I make it about if I can help one person, if, if this, you know, communication can impact one person and do something good. Today I've done my job. I'm grateful for this opportunity. You know, I pray every morning before I take the stage. I pray right before I go on. God, please speak through me. You know, please use me as a vessel for good in this world. And in those moments, you know, it's, it's pretty miraculous, but it's not all rainbows and lollipops for sure.
- [42:38]
B
I like what you're saying and I think part of your strength is that you have the ability to, you know, feel slightly off at times certain days, but love people so much that you Decide to be on for those people. Like, there's a lot of times that I speak, even on big platforms, I'm dealing with personal challenges or even physical challenges, but I'm not really doing a performance or a presentation anyway. I study like 30 hours for every talk that I give. So it comes out of my pores. And what I hear a lot from the audiences that talk to me is they're like, tim, man, like, you were really like talking to me. You were talking to me. So I think that both of us have this together where it's not just a performance. Tell, tell, tell people that are watching right now. And then I have one final question for you. Why this is not just a performance.
- [43:46]
A
Yeah, I don't think it's a performance because it's more of the energy of being in that moment of seeing people for who they are. I like you, I don't give the same exact talk over and over again. You and I are both very present presenters and that we see the people who they are, we see the pain points, we're talking to them before, we're taking the stage, after the stage. And to me, a performance is a scripted event that you're rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. And I just, I believe in speaking to people where they are. And if that takes you off course and if that takes you, you know, to calling people out in an audience and impact individual, then that's where you're led to go. But I love being in that moment and knowing that, you know, we've got that chance to see someone, to connect with them, to uplift them and to potentially change their life from, you know, one message or one interface after, like you said, staying and hanging around and, and speaking to people and, and you know, hearing their testimony and hearing, you know, hearing about them, to me that's, it's definitely more of that one on one encounter.
- [44:53]
B
I love it. Okay, so I have a question for you. So in miracles, you have to believe in miracles. You have to then expect miracles, and that's kind of where you are big time. But then you have to receive miracles. A lot of people do not receive miracles because they think they're unworthy or they're unclean, they did something wrong, they don't deserve it. And you, you said something very interesting earlier in the interview about God's grace. And so it's amazing what grace can do. So what would you say to people that maybe they believe in miracles, they expect miracles. Now miracles are coming, but they almost are pushing them away because they're feeling like they are unworthy. Talk to people on how they should receive even in the midst of them, maybe not walking with God in the way they know they should.
- [45:58]
A
Again, I go back to God's grace, right? Jesus Christ died for all of us. You are forgiven, you know, don't forget these things. You are forgiven and pray about this, you know, appreciate that, that you have been forgiven. Appreciate God's love. Appreciate that undying, unconditional love that that is on your heart, that is within you. You know, you are a child of God, that there is nothing more special and beautiful and pure. We are so blessed. We. I am so grateful for that. Speak these things into existence, right? So I've, I'll often say, because I've gone through many phases in my life where I was not receiving miracles and did not understand why that was. And so now I'll say that I am so thankful and grateful for all these miracles. I'm expectant for these miracles coming. I do not know what they are, but I am so grateful because the more good falls upon my life and the more divinely led that I am and open to receiving miracles, the more I can share that gift with others and the more good that I can do. So I try to focus on if my message is amplified, if there is some miracle like what happened with the viral videos, that's just going to help impact more people, make it more about the good that you can do in the world instead of questioning whether you deserve it. But instead say, you know, Jesus Christ died for us. Jesus Christ died for your sins so that you can be forgiven. Accept and allow that in your life so that you can start in turn doing more good and, and be the hands and feet of Jesus and, and make that difference for others.
- [47:20]
B
I, I love, love, love that answer. Okay, what, what project are you excited about? And then tell us how we can follow you. What project?
- [47:38]
A
You know that I'm excited about this Aspire tour. You know that I've been wanting to be on that tour for a while. You, of course, been headlining this tour for over a year and you knew I wanted to be on it, so I'm so grateful.
- [47:48]
B
I've been on for two and a half years.
- [47:50]
A
Ms. All right, two and a half years, exactly. So probably since it was its first tour. So I'm just super grateful to be taking it. I love the opportunity to represent for women and take stages in this country and any other country where, you know, we can impact other women and make sure that there are voices heard for Everyone. So I just. I love that opportunity.
- [48:13]
B
So I like that. So with Andrew, Eddie, Dan Fleischman, you're going to start speaking more and more for Aspire, but they've been knowing you're great the whole time, so you're excited about that. And then best way to follow Heather Monahan would be what?
- [48:30]
A
I'm Eather Monahan Everywhere. I'm on LinkedIn, I'm on Instagram. I've got a podcast Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan. Tim Story has, of course, been a guest multiple times. You can go to my website, heathermonahan.com would love to hear from you.
- [48:46]
B
Okay, so I'm going to ask you a question. What advice would you give women who would like to be speakers?
- [48:56]
A
You're going to need to invest in yourself. That is the smartest course of action, right? I would hire someone to coach you. Too often people don't realize Tom Brady had a coach. Right. In order to become the greatest in the world, if you want to become great at something, you need to hire a coach, whoever. I'm not saying who that is. Do your research. Find out who resonates and aligns with what you're working on. But definitely, if you want to move quickly and jump into a new arena or something that you really haven't, you know, grasped yet or mastered yet, that's the best and easiest way to do it. The other thing is put in the reps, right? So for, I don't know, 25 years, I was leading sales teams. I was speaking every week in front of massive audiences of my own employees. I didn't realize it at the time, but that's putting reps in to become a better speaker live on a professional stage, which is really the same thing. You're speaking in front of audience, looking for connection, and pay attention. You know, the data doesn't lie. Like, pay attention to what lands with people right now. That can change over time. I take a ton of notes. I always have a word doc going after I meet with people like you to keep notes on. This is landing right now. Here's what we're seeing working. Always find out about your audience. Like, make sure that you know the pain points your audience is dealing with so that you can not only let them know that you see them, but then help them overcome some part of that pain point. Help them solve some type of a problem and help impact their life in. In a positive way. And then next thing is just take the chance and go for it. Right? A closed mouth does not get fed. You've Got to pitch yourself and go after what it is that you want.
- [50:31]
B
So what a great, great talk, Heather. I love talking to you. Tell everybody why we enjoy having lunch and dinner together because we have so.
- [50:41]
A
Much fun and we are so cut from the same cloth and we love each other. We are brothers from another mother. Like I.
- [50:49]
B
Exactly.
- [50:50]
A
I mean, it's. We, we are just, I don't know, we have so much fun. I can't wait to see your face again in real life. I'm so grateful for you because I.
- [50:57]
B
I like to say this because a lot of people say men and women can't be friends. We love each other, we are friends, we protect each other, we care for each other. And I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you as this high flying woman of excellence. And to everybody, continue to follow Heather Monahan. If she's new to you today, after this podcast. Follow, follow, follow her. Get involved with anything that she's doing. If you have a great conference or even a company that you could use her as an executive coach. She is the best of the best at everything that she does. So you are watching Tim Story, the Miracle Mentality podcast, and I just want to end with this. Life is good. Thank you for sharing space with me on this episode of Miracle Mentality with Tim Storey. If today sparked your courage or helped you understand why you're created for success, I invite you to carry that miracle mentality forward. Visit me@timstory.com that story with an EY on the end. Until next time, walk by faith, embrace possibility and create your own comeback story.