Podcast
Mistakes Were Made
Hosted by Sarah & Alex · EN
Non monogamy for imperfect people. Hosted by a queer therapist and her husband of 15 years. Sarah & Alex share their experiences opening their marriage, and interview guests about the struggles & rewards of doing relationships your own way. Mistakes Were Made is part advice, part confession, part culture critique. But it's all about learning from our missteps and stumbling toward liberation. Follow us on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/. Logo design by roy franklin of the Whatever Factory - https://www.whateverfactory.org/.
20episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Ep 69: New Models of Masculinity
Feb 2001:07:31Tap to summarizeGuess who's been missing from this new wave of political organizing: CIS dudes. Alex grapples with how critique of toxic masculinity has left a gap in men's identity. And Sarah asks why so many progressive men are down to fuck, but not down to fight. Mentioned in the episode: Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop | Sensitive New Age Guys | All About Love, by bell hooks | The Better Man, by Dr. Eric Fitzmedrud Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Transcribe →Ep 68: The Poly Bi Male Experience with Quinn
Feb 601:06:53Tap to summarizeBi men are having a moment, and we're jumping on the bandwagon! Sarah talks to Quinn and Alex about discovering their bisexuality while practicing polyamory. Warning: Heated Rivalry spoiler alert at 35 minutes! Mentioned in the episode: Intentional Nonmonogamy workshop | Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat | The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl | Heated Rivalry | Esther Perel on Heated Rivalry | Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Transcribe →Ep 67: Taking care of your partner (and yourself) when they're struggling
Jan 2301:25:45Tap to summarizeWhat does Ai and folding laundry have to do with supporting your partner through a break up? Not very much, but both things sure did come up a lot in this episode! Sarah and Alex reflect on how it felt to care for each other during recent struggles with other partners, and share some tips for weathering turmoil in your relationship constellation. Mentioned in the episode: Intentional Nonmonogamy workshop | How To Love Your Polyamorous Partner When They Have A Broken Heart In An Open Relationship Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Transcribe →Ep 66: Kin, Family and Community Love with Sophie Lucido Johnson
Jan 901:27:13Tap to summarizeAuthor and Cartoonist Sophie Lucido Johnnson talks about the future of family structures, her new book "Kin," and, of course, global extinction. Mentioned in the episode: Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop | Timothy Egan | Sarah's Seattle Times column | Kin: The Future of Family | Many Love: A Memoir of Polyamory and Finding Love(s) | Dear Sophie, Love Sophie More about Sophie: https://www.sophielucidojohnson.com/ Come to our Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop March 21, 2026 in Seattle! Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Transcribe →Ep 65: Alone in a Crowded Polycule
Dec 2600:58:42Tap to summarizeRegister for the Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop on March 21st in Seattle with Sarah and Alex of Mistakes Were Made. Is polyamory a salve for loneliness? Or just a way to escape our fear of being alone with ourselves? Sarah reflects on her 'poly sabbatical' and Alex explores the psychological roots if his poly enthusiasm. Mentioned in the episode: HHS Report on Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation | Angela Garbes | The Cut - Quiet Quitting Your Marriage | Abigail Brenner - The Importance of Being Alone | Being Happy Alone is a Green Flag in Poly | Episode 18: Threesomes, Throuples and Unicorn Hunting Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Transcribe →Ep 64: The Religion to Poly Pipeline with Tyson
Dec 1201:09:25Tap to summarizeEvangelical-turned-athiest Tyson returns to the show, this time to help us unpack why so many people from religious backgrounds like his find their way to polyamory, and how religious trauma impacts our relationships. Mentioned in the episode: Pew Research: Evangelical Protestants in the U.S. | Poly Philia: Why Unicorn Hunting Doesn't Work | Hierarchical Polyamory vs. Non Hierarchical Polyamory vs. Relationship Anarchy Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Transcribe →Ep 63: Jealousy, Anarchy and Psychedelics with Dr Nicole Thompson
Nov 2801:13:06Tap to summarizeSarah & Alex talk with Dr. Nicole, host of the Modern Anarchy podcast about jealousy, religious trauma and the first EVER study on relationship anarchy. Oh, and the parallels between psychedelics and New Relationship Energy (NRE). Mentioned in the episode: Upstream Podcast | Layla Martin | Talk: "Everything you Know About Addiction is Wrong" | New Relationship Energy [NRE] | Seek the Risk | Suicide rates by gender | People chasing ICE with their cars in Chicago Follow Dr. Nicole: Modern Anarchy with Dr. Nicole Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Transcribe →Ep 62: MWM Live at Liberating Love Festival
Nov 1401:00:22Tap to summarizeIt's an extra special live episode of Mistakes Were Made! Sarah and Alex are joined by Jessa Davis, Elizabeth Cunningham, and return guest Ramsey for a conversation all about relationship equality, representation, and how to talk to your family about polyamory. Tyson (remember him from episode 33: Solo Poly Showdown??) is our emcee. Mentioned in the episode: SCFRE | https://www.open-love.org/ Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Transcribe →Ep 61: Trauma-Informed Poly ~ Season 5 Premiere!
Oct 3101:12:41Tap to summarizeHas a relationship ever made you feel like a scared little kid? You might be resurfacing trauma from an earlier life stage. In the Season 5 premiere Sarah and Alex welcome spooky season with a deep dive into the many ways unexplored trauma could be what's messing up our relationships. Eek! 👻👻👻 Mentioned in the episode: Erikson's Stages of Development | True adolescence disrupted by Queer phobic context | Performative Male | Extended Adolescence | Parts Work | Dr. Gabor Maté | DARVO | SCFRE Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Transcribe →Ep 51: Love in a F*cked Up World with Dean Spade
Mar 21, 2025Tap to summarizeAre the same dynamics screwing up our relationships also hampering our social movements? Sarah and Alex talk to activist and law professor Dean Spade about the romance myth, capitalism and love in this f*cked up world. Mentioned in the episode: Love in a F*cked Up World | DeanSpade.net | The Death Panel | Movement Memos Also by Dean Spade: Mutual Aid | Normal Life: Administrative Violence, Critical Trans Politics, and the Limits of Law mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org Links to bookshop.org are affiliate links. Any proceeds will support this podcast!
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