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If your career is shifting, your money story gets a vote in every decision you make. And it’s not because you’re bad at math or you “should have planned better.”

It gets a vote because money is not just money. Money touches safety. Options. Identity. What you can say yes to. What you have to say no to. And when work gets uncertain, money stops being background noise. It walks right up to the microphone and says, “Hello, hello? Is this thing on?”

I learned this the hard way.

The first time my unspoken money story showed up was in my early twenties, when I was transitioning jobs and going through a divorce. At the time, I was (barely) earning more than my husband who was a middle school teacher. When we separated, he asked for financial support.

I felt guilty about the state of our marriage, so I agreed. And then guilt met fear, and I made a decision I could not sustain. I racked up a lot of credit card debt trying to keep everything looking fine.

It got so bad I had to cut myself off from my credit cards and use the envelope system. Actual cash in actual envelopes. Gas. Food. Utilities. Car repair. There were no envelopes for going out, clothing, or self care.

All I could hear in my head was: “There isn’t enough. There will never be enough.”

That sentence didn’t come out of nowhere. It was inherited.

My dad grew up during the Great Depression. My mom lived in poverty in Japan during World War II. Not having enough was a true, lived experience for them. I’ve been fortunate to have enough, but that generational trauma is in me.

This is why I’m writing about money in a post about career strategy.

Because during a setback, a pivot, or a dry spell between gigs, your money story is going to cast a vote. It will influence what work you take. How quickly you panic. Whether you avoid looking at your accounts. Whether you undercharge. Whether you overgive. Whether you freeze.

You do not have to shame yourself for that. You do have to notice it.

Your Money Story

Your money story is the relationship you have with money. It’s what money represents to you. What it proves. What it threatens. What it feels like.

For some people, money equals safety. For others, it equals freedom. For others, it equals worth.

And for a lot of high achieving people, especially in unpredictable industries, money becomes evidence. Evidence that you’re doing it right. Evidence that you’re still viable. Evidence that you can relax.

That is a lot to ask of money.

When work gets shaky, money anxiety gets loud. And money anxiety tends to do two things at once.

First, it triggers your nervous system into threat mode.

Second, it distorts perception, so those panicked thoughts start masquerading as reality.

So before we “do the numbers,” I want to offer something that sounds simple, but changes everything.

Regulate your nervous system first, then look at the truth.

Regulate First, Before All Else

My client “April” came to see me in full blown panic. It was early 2024. As an actress and writer, she had already been hit hard by the COVID years, then the 2023 strikes happened. Her nervous system was a wreck and she was in constant panic and she couldn’t “see clearly.”

Before we opened a spreadsheet, we worked with her body. Not because breathwork pays rent. But because you cannot make a clean career decision when your system is convinced you’re in danger.

Here are a few regulation tools we used. They’re practical. You can do them in your car. You can do them before you open your banking app. You can do them when you feel that familiar drop in your stomach.

Nervous System Regulation Tools

* Extended exhale breathing. How to do it: Inhale for 4. Exhale for 6 or 8. Do 6 to 10 rounds.

* Why it works: Longer exhales tend to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps your body settle so your mind can think.

* EFT Tapping. How to do it: Tap gently on points like the side of the hand, eyebrow, side of the eye, and collarbone while you say a simple two part sentence. The first part names what you’re feeling or noticing. The second part adds a cue of safety, choice, or self support. You’re not trying to talk yourself out of the feeling. You’re reminding your body you can stay here with it. Example: “Even though my money story is loud right now, I’m the one who gets to choose.”

* Why it works: Pairing steady tapping with naming what’s true can lower intensity and help your nervous system shift out of alarm, so you can access clarity and make decisions without rushing.

* Deep pressure touch. How to do it: Use a weighted blanket, drape something heavy over your shoulders, or press a firm pillow to your chest for 2 to 5 minutes.

* Why it works: Deep pressure can be calming because it gives your body a clear sense of containment.

* Wall support. How to do it: Stand with your back against a wall. Feet grounded. One hand on your chest, one on your belly. Stay for 60 to 90 seconds.

* Why it works: Your body gets a felt sense of support. That matters when everything feels uncertain.

These are not magic tricks. They are proven techniques. A way of telling your body, we are safe enough to look.

Because that is the real goal. Safe enough to look. Safe enough to get honest. Safe enough to make a decision that’s not driven by panic.

And once you can do that, you can meet your money story directly.

How To Find Your Money Story

When money feels tense, a lot of people do one of two things. They obsess, spiraling into worst case scenarios. Or they avoid, hoping the problem will magically get quieter.

This exercise is a third option.

It slows everything down. It gives you distance from the fear. It turns the swirl into language. And when something becomes language, you can work with it. I learned this tool from my first coach, Mona Miller (RIP), and I still use it today because it is highly effective at getting underneath the noise quickly.

Here’s the writing prompt with the goal to not edit. Just write what comes up and don’t judge it.

Dear Money,When I look at you, I see…When I look at you, I feel…When I look at you, I think…When I look at you, I believe…When I look at you, I act like…Signed, [Your Name]

Then reverse it and make the letter from Money to you.

Dear [Your Name],When I look at you, I see…When I look at you, I feel…When I look at you, I think…When I look at you, I believe…When I look at you, I act like…Signed, Money

What we’re looking for are themes or patterns.

For April, money was proof. Proof she was successful. Proof she was making the right choices. Proof she was still allowed to belong. So every dip in income felt like a personal failure.

Once she saw that, she had leverage. Because now her money story was not running the meeting in secret.

Career Strategy Comes Back When You Name What You Are Protecting

This is the part that pulls everything together.

When your money story gets loud, it starts pushing you toward choices that can step on your values. So we named April’s values, not as inspiration, but as a decision filter.

April told me her values included achievement, freedom, love, and travel.

Here’s what we noticed.

Achievement turned into a scoreboard. Money became the proof she was doing it right, so she felt pressure to take anything immediately, even if it pulled her away from her dreams.

Freedom got replaced with avoidance. She stopped looking at her numbers because she assumed they would trap her, which kept her trapped.

Love turned into overgiving. She said yes to commitments she could not afford because disappointing people felt more dangerous than debt.

Travel became a symbol of “I’m still okay.” If she couldn’t afford it, she felt like she was failing, so she swung between denial and deprivation.

When she could see that pattern, she could interrupt it.

First she regulated.

Then she returned to her values.

Then she looked at the numbers without spiraling.

And when she did, she discovered she had more runway than she thought. Not infinite runway. But enough runway to choose with intention so she chose to hold off on travel so she could have more time to find a job that was a match for her.

This is what I mean when I say your money story gets a vote. It will show up in the room. But it doesn’t have to run the meeting.

Where We Go From Here

At this point, if you’re thinking, okay, but I still have a hundred questions, that makes sense. Some of them might be emotional. Some of them might be very practical. What do I cut? How do I plan when income is inconsistent? What do I do first after a layoff?

So I invited my friend and money mentor, Katy Chen Mazzara, to join me for a Substack Live conversation. Katy is a certified trauma-informed financial wellness coach who pivoted out of entertainment pre pandemic. She helps creative entrepreneurs and freelancers break free from scarcity, release traumas and fears, and build lasting financial freedom. With deep compassion and bold clarity, Katy empowers clients to align their finances with their truth, purpose, and power. She’s willing to share what helped her make that pivot, and she’ll answer your money questions.

Quick note: This conversation is educational and not financial advice. For guidance specific to your situation, talk with a qualified financial professional.

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