Today I want to talk to you about unleashing radical wellbeing by unlearning perfectionism. If you’re feeling stuck and want to make progress in your life, make sure you pay attention because today’s conversation might just be exactly what you need to hear to start breaking free from perfectionistic thinking. Many of us have bought into the fantasy that perfectionism will keep us safe. But in reality, perfectionism is a flimsy armor at best, it’s a mask that gives a false sense of safety.

Perfectionism is how we try to avoid and minimize shame, judgment, and blame. I think this comes up as a coping mechanism with chronic illness often because we are encountering both external and internalized ableism. We associate health with being good and sickness with being bad. Our society not so subtly teaches us to believe that health is something that is earned through discipline and being a good person. And as a result, if someone is unhealthy or disabled, it must be a result of their own failing and lack of effort. And so we turn to perfectionism in an attempt to reduce the shame of internal and externalized ableism. We hope that if we follow the rules perfectly, we will earn our health and be in good standing with ourselves and others once again. I’ll give you some specific examples of how perfectionism can show up in direct relationship with chronic illness. I’m going to give you two examples so you can start looking for it in your own life, and how to use thought work to begin unlearning perfectionism.

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Music credit: Dreamin’ Big by Reaktor Productions

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