Move It or Lose It | Episode 145 — Julie Stamm: MS and Vices

Date: March 18, 2026
Host: Kathy Chester
Guest: Julie Stamm

Episode Overview

In this deeply honest episode, host Kathy Chester sits down with longtime friend and fellow MS advocate, author, and mom, Julie Stamm. Titled "MS and Vices," the conversation covers the invisible and emotional burdens of living with Multiple Sclerosis, the evolution of mental health challenges, and more candidly, Julie’s struggle with and journey away from alcohol as a coping mechanism. The discussion is warm, vulnerable, and practical, delving into subjects often shrouded in shame and silence in the chronic illness community—including anxiety, grief, substance use, and the ongoing endeavor to find healthy ways to cope, move, and advocate for oneself and others.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Meeting, Friendship, and First Impressions

• Kathy and Julie reminisce about their first in-person meeting and the surprises around each other's height and presence.
  • "When we aired the podcast, Julie thought I was going to be short like Judge Judy…I'm like 5'9'." (Kathy, 02:03)
  • “You were so tiny…you don’t stand up!” (Kathy, 02:33)
  • Sets a relaxed, authentic tone for the episode, highlighting the real-life connection behind their advocacy.

The Challenge of Communicating About MS

• Kathy discusses the difficulty of explaining invisible symptoms to children and family:
  • “We didn’t really know what to tell our kids because we didn’t know. We didn’t understand what we had.” (Kathy, 03:15)
  • MS impacts nearly all parts of the body and mind—including cognitive function and mood.
• Julie affirms these challenges and moves the conversation into her own mental health experience.

Depression, Anxiety, and Medication Trials

• Julie shares that anxiety, more than depression, has dominated her MS journey:
  • “I still don’t know how to properly get that under control.” (Julie, 05:04)
  • Some medications dulled her emotions: “I hadn’t cried for six months…I pride myself on being a very empathetic person.” (Julie, 05:32)
• Kathy empathizes, sharing her own therapeutic experiences.
  • The challenge of finding a therapist who ‘gets’ MS is real: “It’s just like finding another doctor—it's a smaller pool.” (Julie, 07:27)

Adapting to Life With MS: Acceptance, Honesty, and Grief

• 19 years into her diagnosis, Julie reflects on how her perspective has shifted:
  • "I thought it was the worst thing. Now, I’m 19 years in…I have everything. It could be worse." (Julie, 08:53)
• Both stress that grief around disease evolves:
  • “We grieve throughout the years. Even with my clients and their movement, as we age, the movement is different..." (Kathy, 10:59)

The Power of Movement

• Julie credits Kathy’s influence for her own daily routine:
  • “I have an alarm on my phone that says ‘move it or lose it’ because of you.” (Julie, 11:20)
• Movement is non-negotiable for them, but what counts as movement is flexible—vacuuming or walking counts.

Advocating and Caregiving: Balancing Roles and Energy

• Julie discusses the evolution of her advocacy—from writing children's books about MS for her son to participating in education sessions.
  • “Talking to children…that I would say is the easiest part of advocating. It gives you more spoons.” (Julie, 13:22)
• The episode takes a serious turn as Julie describes shifting energy from advocacy to caring for her mother through dementia, and the heavy toll of the caregiver role.
  • “Caregiver is a very, very different role…can’t negate how much it affects your life and decisions.” (Julie, 14:14)

Grieving a Parent and Emotional Fallout

• Julie gets emotional discussing grief after losing her mother:
  • “I thought I knew what grief was...it’s a different heartache, and there’s so much guilt.” (Julie, 15:25)
• Kathy provides support and shares her own experiences with grief.

Facing and Overcoming Vices: Alcohol Use as Coping Mechanism

• Julie talks candidly about growing up with alcohol as a social norm, her enjoyment of wine, and the realization that her drinking escalated during her mother’s decline:
  • “I was having not only one bottle [of red wine], probably one, two bottles, fully functioning…” (Julie, 17:08)
  • She describes her use as coping, not pride: “As my mom was declining, I was drinking more…a couple glasses of wine to get through this.” (Julie, 18:12)
• Kathy emphasizes the courage it takes to break the silence and stigma, especially as an advocate.

Notable Quote:
"I don’t think I was an alcoholic, but maybe technically. I still drink, I’m not fully sober, but I went from drinking every single night…to, you know, hey, it’s two weeks and I’ll have a beer." (Julie, 19:31–19:46)

Social Response & Triggers

• Julie was surprised at how many others confided in her after she shared her experience publicly.
  • "I couldn't believe how many messages I got." (Julie, 30:25)
• The presence of alcoholism in her family, and her intention to be a better role model for her son Jack, motivated her change.
  • "I'm doing it so that I'm a good role model for him..." (Julie, 30:43)

Substance Use Among the Chronically Ill

• The conversation widens to acknowledge the prevalence of alcohol and alternative substances (like cannabis) among people coping with pain from chronic illness.
  • “If you are abusing a substance, the last thing you want to hear is somebody telling you, you really can’t do that. You’re not in the pain I’m in.” (Kathy, 25:12)
• Both women admit to using or trying various vices to manage pain and anxiety.

Control, Harm Reduction, and Support

• Julie shares her gradual, harm-reduction approach—giving up red wine, then white wine, and moderating intake.
  • “I think it can be easier than you think it will be...for me, it was red wine is the worst, so you know what, you don’t have to give up everything.” (Julie, 28:05–28:27)
• Recognizes that for many, external motivation—her son Jack—can be the key to making hard changes.

Impact on Family & Relationships

• Julie expresses pride at being a fun, engaged mom—both before and especially after giving up wine.
  • “I want him to know that that is who his mom was, not a glass of wine.” (Julie, 31:04)
• Kathy shares a personal story of reconciliation with her own father after his journey through—and away from—alcoholism.

Role of Community and Support Groups

• Social media vulnerability has brought Julie widespread support.
  • "I do find comfort in sharing what I’m feeling on social media...the amount of support that I receive there." (Julie, 34:24)
• The strength of the MS community: "There’s no strangers in our group...now I have lifelong friends." (Julie, 36:39)

Effect on Marriage and Partnerships

• Julie was initially concerned how quitting daily drinking would affect her marriage, as she and her husband had often bonded over drinks.
  • “Turns out I’m just as hilarious…” (Julie, 40:56)
• Her husband is now also cutting back, and their connection remains strong, filled with laughter and daily family time.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "If we don’t learn to laugh with this shitty disease, then we’re really screwed." (Kathy, 10:37)
• "I wish I was numb…I wish I could turn it off. I can’t." (Julie, 16:15)
• “You'd be surprised…I couldn't believe how many messages I got.” (Julie, 30:25)
• “If you just worry about your own thing and not about everyone else...it becomes easier.” (Julie, 26:47)
• "I want him [my son] to know that is who his mom was, not a glass of wine.” (Julie, 31:04)
• "There are so many great [support groups]...go, do what you need to do right now.” (Kathy, 37:05)

Important Timestamps

• Kathy and Julie’s first meeting reminiscence: 02:00–03:00
• Invisible symptoms and family communication: 03:15–04:50
• Julie on anxiety and medication: 04:52–05:54
• On therapy and the challenge of finding proper help: 07:02–08:15
• Julie’s 19 years with MS—perspective shifts: 08:25–09:36
• Movement as medicine and mantra: 11:20–12:00
• Julie’s advocacy journey: 12:50–13:54
• On grief after her mother’s passing: 15:25–16:19
• Candid revelations about alcohol use: 16:40–18:12
• Support and coping in the MS community: 34:24–37:06
• Impact of quitting alcohol on marriage: 37:25–41:39

Conclusion

This episode provides an unfiltered look inside the realities of living—and coping—with chronic illness, particularly MS. Through Julie's unwavering honesty and Kathy’s supportive, practical perspective, listeners are reminded that vulnerability, laughter, and community can illuminate paths toward healing and connection. The conversation breaks stigma around substance use as a coping mechanism and encourages honest reflection, dialogue, and seeking support—whether through professional help, peer communities, or personal introspection.

For listeners seeking encouragement, insight, or simply reassurance that they’re not alone in their struggles—this episode is a must-listen.