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Move It or Lose It | Episode 148 | Ralph Cortese: Community and Friendship
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Your host, Kathy Chester and welcome to the Move it or Lose it podcast, a podcast about all things that move the mind, body and soul. The Move it or Lose it podcast is for information, awareness and inspirational purposes only. I am not a doctor and I don't even play one on tv, so please consult your doctor before making any medical decisions. The views expressed by advertisers, guests or contributors are their opinions and not necessarily the views of the Move it or Lose it podcast. Introducing the Pulse Device. Cutting edge wearable device, revolutionary wellness. Designed to stimulate circulation, reduce harsh pain and tightness, and speed up recovery, the Pulse Device uses advanced vibro tactile technology trusted by patients, clinicians and wellness professionals. Whether you're recovering from an injury, battling a neuro condition, or just want to feel the best every day, Pulse helps you rechange, recharge so that you can live and feel better. Lightweight, powerful and easy to use. Experience better performance, better recovery and a better you. Order now and save $30 using my code Ms. Disrupted@pulse device.com the Pulse device is your health recharged? You won't be disappointed. Get it now for yourself. I have it. I love it. Go ahead and grab it. Hello, welcome to Move it or Lose It Today. I'm. I have a very good friend and a guest today, Ralph Cortese. Welcome. I have enjoyed working with Ralph several times. We are doing some things about strokes, autoimmune diseases and things that are so fun to have and what we do with them. So we're doing some really good things and really trying to spread awareness and help others. And Ralph, you don't know him. You should because he on stroke. He is really the face of stroke radio. Stroke Warrior Radio. Got it. So. And what you do, Ralph, is so amazing. The ability that I've watched so many interviews, the people that you interview and the hope that you bring for community and for those to have a voice. You know, we have these platforms to be able to raise awareness, but to give those people that wouldn't have a voice, wouldn't be able to share. You give that. Which is really a neat thing to be able to do.
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Yeah, it's interesting how it started. Some guy, I was introduced to a guy and he said, that voice, you put me to sleep. And I said, is that a compliment? He said, yeah, it is, because we can do radio. So all of a sudden we get this idea for Stroke Warrior Radio. And yeah, that's how it all started. Four years ago. Next.
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That's awesome.
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Three years ago, next week.
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Three years ago. Doesn't it? Did you think he was going to have you do pillow talk?
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Yeah, right, exactly. You know, it's been so fun. You mentioned community. And I think one of the things I had my stroke ten and a half years ago, and one of the things that improved my recovery so much was when I moved to Bend, Oregon, I got involved with Stroke Awareness Oregon, and met a bunch of other stroke survivors. And that community, to me, is one of the most honest, outgoing, and committed to others communities that I've ever been in. And six and a half months after I moved here with getting in contact with all these people, I was off my cane, my walker, everything. Wow. You know, so, I mean, finding out you're not alone is such an incredible.
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Yeah.
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Incredible tool to use.
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That's so good because I, you know, obviously Ms. Is, well, marches Ms. And stroke awareness. Is that correct? It is Stroke.
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Strokes in May.
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Okay. So what I found to be so interesting is that, you know, this month we talk about it a lot about March with Ms. It is. It's a community you don't necessarily want to be in. We didn't ask to be in it. We don't really want to be in it. But on a good note, it is a very close community. And I was talking to my editor today and I just said, you know, it would be. I'm almost to the point where I've had Ms. Longer than I haven't, which is like. But I was diagnosed pretty young, and it's almost now to the point where, gosh, it'd be great to jump off this roller coaster. Right. I don't want it. Or I'd be like, let's go. But at the same time, man, I would miss our community because the community with multiple sclerosis is really awesome. I mean, I've met some. My best friends in this community, and it would be really weird to not have that community. So it would be. Yeah. I mean, you talk about the stroke community in the same way that we talk about the multiple sclerosis community. And I think that, you know, there's a lot of diseases that you don't see that community. And it makes me really sad for that. One of the reasons why I opened my. My today I had another Ms. When we both were cognitively, we're like, okay, we're going to do charades. Why do the support group is because of that. Because there's so many that I open it up to. Not just multiple sclerosis, but for all chronic illnesses. Because realizing that a lot of them don't have that big support.
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Yeah. You know, it's, it's weird too, that, you know, you can see most anything else. You can see somebody with certain illnesses.
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Right.
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Whatever. But brain injury, no matter what it is, M.S.TBI, aVM, stroke, there's so many different brain injuries.
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Right.
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That affect on a person through the brain is different than the others. It's an invisible disability that people can't understand unless you're going through it.
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Yeah.
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And I think that's why we do so well on our shows because.
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Right.
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You know, we understand what we're going through right now.
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Thought I want you to give me your thought on that because I've had a lot of people give different thoughts on that because if I'm going somewhere, I don't know that I want everybody to see my Ms. Or my rheumatoid or my epilepsy. I don't want to really have a seizure when I'm out. And there's. So there's two different thoughts on that. Do we want everybody to see it or do we not? You know, a lot of people are like, I don't want everybody to see it. And there's people I want help sometimes.
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Now, you know, I went through that double edged sword too, after my stroke because, you know, if I went grocery shopping, I had to use that stupid cartoon.
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Right.
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And I started getting. Thanks to Covid. I delivered, have all my groceries delivered, you know.
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Yeah.
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Even though I can walk towards the grocery store now, I don't want the general public to see it per se, but I do want other stroke survivors to see it.
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Yeah.
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You know, if people ask, for example, I have very close friend that whenever we go out to lunch or dinner or whatever, and, and people look or stare with her in their cane.
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Right.
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They'll walk up to them and say, I've had a stroke. What would you like to know? You know.
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Oh, wow.
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So there's, there's, you know, do you get through the embarrassment to make other people aware?
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Yeah.
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Which is what I love about the community.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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Make people aware of what the warning signs are and what it can cause. You know, I. You can't tell if you see me that I had a stroke, but I still limp. I still have cognitive issues. My half, my foot still numb. You know, there's all kinds of weird things happening.
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Right.
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But it's not necessarily, you know, I get. I guess I'm at the point now where it's become a rewarding experience for me because of all the people I've known All of the changes have made in my life.
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Yeah.
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I have so much more patience than I ever did before. Before, for sure.
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Definitely.
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I don't have as bad a temper.
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Right. Yeah, very true.
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You know, there's a whole bunch of things, and I think one of the hardest things I had for six years was getting through anger, getting through recognizing those little victories every day. You know, I can walk 10 steps yesterday, but 15 today. That's a big victory.
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Yes, it is. Yep.
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So, you know, and that's why I do what I do. Because. Yeah, people need to. I think people need to understand I did that everything you do leads up to better successes.
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Yeah. So true. And I. You know what I do, and I love to do it. And I. Sometimes I cry with them because sometimes when we do it, we don't see that that's a little victory because it's easier for us to see the negative, especially when it's ourselves. And, you know, my, My Ms. Client today just. We were doing deflection, and that's a big thing we've worked up to. You know, there's a plan. I know the plan. I know what we're. What we're getting up to, but sometimes they don't. And I'll give them little bits and then all of a sudden they bent the knee and they're. They look at me and I'm like. And I'm getting shoved up and I'm like, you did it. You did it.
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Yeah.
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That locked. That lock leg. That was spastic. We got flexion. We did it.
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Yeah.
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And it's just so cool. It's such a neat, neat thing.
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Yeah. You know that same friend I was telling you about? I mean, two months after I met her. Met her. I think maybe it's six months. But after I got off my walk and cane, she started exercising and walking around her desk without the cane.
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Wow.
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So, yeah. I mean, it can inspire others.
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Yeah.
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Others did it for me. Why shouldn't I do it for somebody else?
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Yeah.
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You know.
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Yeah, absolutely. 100%. What do you think has changed? I mean, I know what I see doing what I do. What do you think has changed as far as physical therapy then and physical therapy now? When you are interviewing or when you see someone who's just had a stroke, what do you see the difference is? Oh, I mean, I know there's a lot.
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Yeah. Because ten and a half years, the. I'm not going to say I've come that far, but the physical therapy feels all the therapy fields have, because just in the Last five years that I know of, neuroplasticity has become such an enormous teaching tool, such an enormous inspiration and motivation for survivors, for everything.
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Yes.
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I think the importance of difference in therapies. For example, you may go to a physical therapist, but most of what they do is workers comp. Or, you know, injuries.
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Yeah.
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But you go to. What do you call it? I just.
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A neuro.
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Neurophysical therapist. Oh, my God. It opens up a whole new world of recovery, you know, and people don't know that. I didn't know it. Seven years. You know, somebody had to finally tell me there's such a thing as strokes. Physical therapists, you know, so that's the education part of what we do is we've got to spread that word.
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Yeah.
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So that people don't have to go. What I did, that's for me. That's what it is. Right. I was. Man, I was angry. Yeah. Leaving me at home, therapy put me on a bike and walking away. You know, those. I think therapies changed for the better at all levels.
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Yeah.
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Because now we're looking at the whole person. We're asking. The therapists are asking more questions.
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Yeah.
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And I think the survivors are also getting more educated.
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Yeah.
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And understanding that I can fire my therapist.
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Yes.
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I. I interview my therapist. I visit their facilities.
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Right.
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You know, I'm allowed to do that just because the doctor says, go to this physical therapist. It may not be the right one.
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Right.
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My first. One of my first therapists asked me what I wanted to do, and I said, I want to get back to work. I was a contractor. So she started bringing a ladder to physical therapy so I can learn how to climb a ladder.
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This is your first one.
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Yeah. Yeah. She retired six months later. But, you know, after that I got all the protocol people.
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Yeah.
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But, you know, those are the kind of relation. I think therapies change to a relationship instead of a business transaction. It's not a transaction.
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Right.
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It's a relationship.
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I still. Do you notice this? I still see because, you know, I'm on the other end. They're doing physical therapy now. What. So I'm on that end. So now we're going to keep going. I still see not all physical therapists, but I still see this checklist. Okay. You're walking, done doing this. Done, done, done, done. And then I'll get them. And they're like, it's. Now we know that not all plasticity is good. Right. We know that there's bad neuroplasticity that we create and I don't always see that. That it's being done correctly in physical therapy where that checklist is done, but it's not always checked. Like, oh, is that good neuroplasticity or was it just they walked? You know, it's. I see that often that when I get that. That pace, that client, that even if they're vaulting or circumd, it's like they've been doing it because we're gonna figure out how to get to A to B to C. So regardless, we're smart, our bodies are smart. We're gonna figure it out, we're gonna vault, we're gonna circle, we're gonna figure out a way to get there. And if we keep doing it, we're gonna continue to create that bad plasticity because we're going to get there and no one's correcting it. So it's hard. Nobody that I start to train says, oh, goody. I said, you know what? We're going to have to go back to go forward. Nobody says yay to that. Nobody. But we do have to do that sometimes.
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Yeah. And I think one of the other things that's so, so obvious, becoming very obvious to me, is we're starting to. I'm starting to hear less and less. This as good as it's going to get.
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Yeah.
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You know how many people go in their first few years of therapy or first year of therapy? And I told her, at six months, get used to the wheelchair. You're going to be in it the rest of your life. Or this is as good as it's going to get. You're never going to not use a cane or that kind of thing. And that's baloney. I want to slap the hell out of those people.
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Yeah.
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You know?
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Yeah.
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Because again, seven years, I have no pain anymore.
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Right. Right.
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I can actually do work my job, you know, so there's. There's a better understanding of all kinds of brain injuries recovering after many years.
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I see that with strokes more often. I see that with stroke survivors. There's less hope, I would say, because ones that are older because they have been told stuff that, like, you've been told that. You're like, I was told, here's a VHS tape, and you might be able to go for a stroll, but probably you'll be in a wheelchair in about five to 10 years.
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Yeah.
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I was in my 20s. I was like, what? So, yeah, I think, yeah, it was like some of us were like, no way. Others were like, okay, I guess. And I think it's personality. I think it's who is by you, who's. Who's community. Again, going back to that. Who are your people that are next to you giving you good stuff or bad stuff? I think we learned through this as, you know, going through my divorce, I really took that year to just kind of quiet down because sometimes there's too many voices and we have to quiet down to figure out what do we need? What do we need for us to heal, to get better, to be able to create an environment that we are getting better, that we're not constantly feeling so bogged down because none of us want to go down to that black hole that we can't get out of. Right. And it's easy to get there. Real easy.
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Yeah. I can remember two very, very dark times in my early recovery, you know, and that's. I hear too many stories of people that have committed suicide because they've given up. You know, I. I see too many people that give up and let their care partners do everything for them, you know, so they don't even bother recovering. It's all a mindset for me that I have to recover. I have a life I want to live.
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Yeah.
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Still, I have 11 grandchildren. I have two great grandchildren. I've gotta live a little bit.
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Yeah.
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You know, those kind of things. Motive have to motivate people. You know, it's, it's, it's becoming more important because number one, I think the number is 30% of all new strokes are under 50 or TBIs or whatever.
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Yeah.
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Also, you know, they say it's around 800,000 people a year have a stroke. But, you know, look at the cumulative total. There's over 9 million people in this country that have had a stroke.
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Yeah.
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Only 50% of them work to recovery. You know, I say. And the reason Stroke Warrior Radio. You have to make a choice. Are you going to be a stroke survivor, TBI survivor, whatever, or are you going to be a stroke warrior?
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Yeah.
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That's the choice you have to make.
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Yeah. Why do you, what do you think. Your opinion. What do you think in a person makes that decision? Because it is a decision and I see it all the time.
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For me, it was finally being open. It's a. I'm not sure how to describe it. It's a recognition of those factors out there that kick you in the ass. You know, there's. There's something out there like the dark moments. The picture of my grandchildren on the, on the wall in front of me. I don't know if I'd still be here if it wasn't for that.
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Yeah.
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Knowing that I've got these great grandchildren, one I haven't even met yet, that keeps me going. Yeah, I recognize those little pinpoints of life.
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Yeah.
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And it can be such a weird thing. I mean, it can be the fact that, you know, I didn't think I could climb a ladder again and I can at least use a four foot ladder, you know, that's so important, the recognizing the little things.
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Yeah.
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And once you do, the positive mindset starts taking over.
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Yeah.
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So I agree.
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100. Because you have, you have to do that or it won't. Some days it's just a picture of my granddaughter, my grandbaby, someday. I don't only have one, not 11, so she's all over. Some days it's just, you know, we had a nice day. I took, so I took my therapy dog for a walk and it was like, okay, I'm going to breathe in some of this air and just, I'm outside and you know, I might not be able to walk as fast as I want to walk today, but I'm walking, I'm outside. And you've got to find something in that day because sometimes it's hard, you know, sometimes in that day there's so many things at you and you're like, I give up, but we just can't. You've got to find something, find something in that day. And I would go through, walk through the house, walk through outside, find something that you can say thank you for this and. Yeah, hold on.
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There's a whole gratitude part of it that, you know, you have to, I had to understand that, you know, there's so many stroke, tbi, abms, whatever, that never get to put their foot off the bed every morning.
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Yeah.
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There's my first step of gratitude, you know, the fact that I can recognize the grandchildren, recognize the great grandchildren, that I can still talk to them.
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Yes.
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You know, look at all the aphasia. People that can't even talk to her grandchildren. You know, I, I feel for, sometimes I, I, I kind of joke, but it's kind of true. I feel like a fraud sometimes because I see some of these people and what they're going through, it's like, oh my God, you know?
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Yeah, yeah.
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How do you do it? But I, I got lucky, you know?
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Yeah.
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Because I recognize those little pinpoints of light. But I also, I, I think I, I just wanted to do better, you know, I, I, I had to adjust the attitude otherwise I was going to be in A wheelchair or a walker for the rest of my life. So it, it's a matter of desire, it's a matter of want. And I. And turning those wants into needs.
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Yeah.
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You know, I need it to be positive, to get better. And the other is. Go ahead.
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No, you got finished.
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I, I was going to say the other thing is by doing that and getting the attitude clear for me, I was able to recognize the tools out there. You know, for example, support groups. Oh my God, what a difference in my recovery that made.
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B
Yeah.
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You know, the other is, the third biggest thing I think I've found is that when insurance or your therapist or your National Health Service, because I interview people in England and places like that, when that cuts off, it's up to you now for your recovery. Yeah. That's one of the biggest things we've been talking about lately is what about now? What about those 9 million people or more.
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Right.
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That have had a stroke? What are you doing right now for your recovery?
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B
Yeah,
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I mean, you and I, when we got started interviewing, sharing our story. Share your story.
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Call me.
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Call, call you.
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Exactly. Because it's scary. Right. I mean, you know what's happened to me. My insurance is now dropped. I'm going through all the Medicare, Medicaid and it's like you get, you get, throw them to one and the other one throws you to that. And it's like you could spend the whole day, that could be your full time job. I mean, truly, it's like I'm, I'm bummed between Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and it's like, then they're like, well then all of a sudden it's closed for the day and you do it again the next day and you're thrown around the loop all again. And then you're told you have to cancel this appointment shows you don't have any insurance. And I'm like, so it's a constant, it's a constant roller coaster. So you absolutely get how someone on their own doing it feels like I want to quit.
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A
And I, I did, I wanted to quit because I've been living by myself for most of my recovery. I was by myself when I had my strokes, but again, I had to adjust my mind to want to be better. Yeah, I led a good life. You know, before my stroke. I had a wonderful life. I thought, you know, two very good women. I was married to four great children, a couple great business that I wound up selling and doing well off of. You know, there's, and I had a relationship with my God, too. That also helped me in my recovery.
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B
Sure.
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You know, that daily prayer, those kind of things are. Keep your mind right to get going.
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B
Definitely. I would say faith for you and I. Faith for me has been. I don't. I don't know how I would do this without my faith. I don't know, because that has absolutely kept me. I mean, that has kept me on the days where I felt like I can't take one more step further. And, And. And again, the unseen things. I think cognitively, that's a tough one when people don't really. People have some understanding of that. I think especially after. After Covid and the whole pandemic thing, people have a. Somewhat of an understanding of, oh, wow. Cognitively, I sort of get it, but a lot do not. I've heard people say, even for me, you know, be careful, be easy. She's gone through a lot. She doesn't remember anything. And I'm like, what?
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That.
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That's not. You. You have a misunderstanding of the cognitive issues that we face. I could not put together this whole program if cognitively I was just here. It means simply, it could, you know, for some people. Absolutely. That does. But when I say cognitively, I may need some help so simply, I can't have four people talking to me at the same time and follow that conversation. So I'm putting. And I'm going to need it quiet. And I'm going to. It's going to take me longer than the average be. So give me that time. And if you don't explain it in such a way, it seems that people want to kind of make up what it is to them, what that means to them. And that can be frustrating.
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Yeah, it can be. I think, you know, for people with aphasia, their care partners finish their sentences.
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B
Yeah.
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They're not going to relearn how to talk if you keep doing that. You know, for me, it was being able to. I just lost my train of thought. See there? Think cognitive. No, that's what it was. Speaking of cognitive, people don't understand. We haven't lost our intellect.
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Right. Yes.
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You know where. It's still in there.
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B
Yes.
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And sometimes the anger is good because you bring out what's still in there.
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B
Right. Yeah.
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You know, maybe not politely, but. Right. Sometimes more polite than others.
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B
Yeah.
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Something that, you know, you're a different person, you've got a different life, but it is not a worse life.
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B
Yeah.
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You know, it can be a good life.
- [28:31]
B
And still, we've talked about that a lot, which I do appreciate with you and I, that as, as a mom, when my kids were younger, I mean, people that know me now are like, do you slow down? Do you stop at all? And I'm like, yes, at 9:30pm and so, you know, when I was younger, I was, I was, I just didn't have a stop. And I remember when I was diagnosed with the kids, my kids little, they were like, oh my gosh, she stopped. We can sit down and watch something with her. So it helped me understand how much they really needed me to do that. And I just didn't see that. I was so young and busy and I wanted this big career. I wanted to do all this stuff. And, you know, I just, I didn't see that need as a, you know, young 20 something. I was just like, they're fine. I mean, I did this, this and this, but I couldn't see that need that they had. And so I really am grateful for that time. Again, do I want to have this? No. Do I want to jump off this roller coaster? Sure, if I had the opportunity. But do I see the blessing in it at times? Absolutely.
- [29:40]
A
You know, it's kind of a weird comparison, but speaking about children, when your children leave, you go through empty nest syndrome. When you have a stroke, you go through empty nest syndrome. To a certain extent, you're redefining your life as it, as it happens.
- [30:01]
B
Very good. Yeah.
- [30:02]
A
You know, that's something that I have to recognize every day. I keep redefining. Unlike you, I'm type A. Yeah. I don't stop.
- [30:11]
B
Yeah, I noticed.
- [30:13]
A
Yeah, exactly.
- [30:15]
B
And as a single person, it's different.
- [30:18]
A
Yeah, that's different too. Yeah.
- [30:19]
B
Yeah.
- [30:20]
A
But you know, the care partners too, the unsung heroes. Definitely.
- [30:26]
B
Yeah.
- [30:28]
A
Can be that there's some education and openness that.
- [30:38]
B
Yeah.
- [30:38]
A
We need to share with them as well.
- [30:40]
B
You know, what do you say to the ones that don't want it? Because I see a lot of, you know, people that are in the, that will come into these support groups and they'll say, I've tried, I've tried to, to share, I've tried to let that he or she know there's for them and they just don't want any part of it. They feel like they get more out of, out of just reading the material they don't want. And the other person's like, no, you have to have this support. You can't do it on your own. What do you say to that?
- [31:13]
A
I say it's a communication issue. You have to communicate with your care partner what you Expect is a strong word, but what you expect of them. And a care partner has to communicate with them what they can and can't do. Also their stress levels. Also when they need a break, you know, both partners, some point, gotta get a break from it.
- [31:40]
B
Yeah.
- [31:40]
A
I know a couple couples that. They're all the time, all the time together. You know, the care partners are. May be annoying and maybe finishing sentences and maybe answering questions for the other partner, all of those kind of things. But that's something that's lacking in the education and awareness part too. There's a mental health issue for care partners as well as the survivors.
- [32:13]
B
Right.
- [32:13]
A
A communication problem between care partners.
- [32:17]
B
Right.
- [32:17]
A
I. You and I both know people that have lost their marriages because of their illness and it's because of lack of communication.
- [32:25]
B
Right, right. And Ralph, it's not like they went to school now, I think went to school to be. Oh, just in case I'm going to be a care partner, I better get some education on this. You're just all of a sudden a care partner and you're like, what if your personality wasn't made for that?
- [32:43]
A
But there's support groups out there for care partners also.
- [32:47]
B
Yes.
- [32:47]
A
You know, that's another thing I had to learn was research.
- [32:50]
B
Yes.
- [32:51]
A
You know, one of the biggest things I still promote to this day is the 211 information line.
- [32:58]
B
Yes.
- [32:58]
A
I call that. I called that for everything. I got glasses done. I got Medicaid help. I got Medicare help. I got dme, you know, durable medical equipment help referrals.
- [33:11]
B
That's important because a lot of people don't do that. They're like, I don't think I could get help. I'm like, yes, you can.
- [33:17]
A
Yeah, there's loads out there for both.
- [33:19]
B
Yeah.
- [33:20]
A
The survivors and the car partners. So it's something that, you know, I still believe in the 211 information line. Every state asset, it's a national thing. And they have all kinds of referral. Got my first social worker off of that.
- [33:35]
B
Yeah.
- [33:35]
A
You know, there's. I had. I learned from that and additional research online and that kind of stuff.
- [33:46]
B
I'm gonna have that on at the bottom of our show notes. I'm gonna have that on the bottom of the show notes. Just for people who don't know that.
- [33:53]
A
Yeah, it's a great resource.
- [33:55]
B
Yeah.
- [33:56]
A
But, you know, I. Where was I going? See, we still have it. You know, it's. There's. To me, I've discovered there's 14 therapies.
- [34:12]
B
Yeah.
- [34:12]
A
It's not just PT or OT, not just speech. There's acupuncture, there's chiropractors, mental health, there's psychology, there's.
- [34:20]
B
Right. Neuropsychology, neuropsychology.
- [34:25]
A
You know, there's all kinds of things out there that. Again, back to openness. You gotta be open to something. I always believed if I kept doing the things I did before my stroke, as ugly as they looked doing them afterwards.
- [34:42]
B
Right.
- [34:43]
A
They would get better. And today they do look better.
- [34:45]
B
Yeah.
- [34:46]
A
You know.
- [34:46]
B
Yeah.
- [34:47]
A
I can run a snowplow. I can run a tractor now.
- [34:50]
B
You know, and there's also the thing I would say, you know, I just. When I worked with a client yesterday, I said, you know, when you're doing this, when the leg locks for stroke and ms, you're in spasticity. So it doesn't mean push it harder. It means let's relax it and then try that flexion again. We're not going to keep jamming it to push harder when you're in spasticity. We're going to relax it. And that's hard when you've been athletic before because you're like, no, we just keep pushing it harder and it'll go, right?
- [35:26]
A
Yeah.
- [35:27]
B
Because.
- [35:27]
A
Oh, I agree.
- [35:28]
B
That's what we've been. That's what we've taught. So we do in sports. So it's like, no, we're gonna make it work.
- [35:34]
A
I try and compute it every time I have an issue with my body. To a cramp.
- [35:40]
B
Yeah.
- [35:41]
A
You know, a cramp is a tightening of it.
- [35:44]
B
Yeah.
- [35:45]
A
And to release it, you're extended.
- [35:47]
B
Yeah.
- [35:48]
A
So, you know, I have to extend myself a little bit here and there.
- [35:52]
B
Yeah.
- [35:52]
A
And again, it may look ugly. I'll be darned if I can't do it better.
- [35:57]
B
Right.
- [35:57]
A
Than I did in the beginning.
- [36:00]
B
And it's very exciting to watch that and to. A lot of times I'll video it just so they can see. Now watch. Look what you did. And when you said you couldn't look what you did. So I love that. I love talking about the community and things like that and just putting it out there and knowing that even when you're alone and you're not alone, and a lot of us feel that way even when we're with a spouse, you know, that. That we're alone. So. Because the spouse, even when we love each other so much, you don't. You don't really get what you have with that other person has unless you have it. So that's where the community comes in to be so strong because you can Pick the phone up. You can go to, you know, whether it's in person or whether it is online and say one thing, and you're going to have five people say, I get it. And there's nothing better than having someone get you and understand what you have. And we did a big thing on vices, and we know that when we're in that much pain, it's easy to turn to. Well, everybody's doing cannabis. I'll just do it all day. Everybody's drinking. I'll just drink till I feel better. And it's easy to get, and it feels good at the time. Makes the pain feel better. And a lot of us don't discuss it. I did a podcast on it a couple weeks ago with a good friend because it's that nobody needs to know this. It's my stuff. I do. It's my business. And until it's not, until something bad happens, then, oh, crap, I guess this isn't just my business anymore.
- [37:39]
A
So, you know, I, I, I have, I journal. I do two journals. I got an anger journal and I got a gratitude term. I like to sound angry. Yeah, I look back on some of that and I can't believe some of the things I put in there.
- [37:54]
B
But I don't want my kids to see my anger journal.
- [37:57]
A
Exactly. Exactly. That's what a longshoreman talks like. The, the point I guess I'm making is that for me, anyway, when I started a family, I had to build my family. When I started my stroke, I have to build my community. That's what I learned. That community is probably the thing that saved my life and continues to make me do better every day. And some days, again, like you said, some days it's like I'm going back to bed. But guess what? That's okay too, right? You know, we're allowed to do that. Or adults, we can make our own damn decisions.
- [38:43]
B
That's right. You can have a Netflix day. Just don't make it 20. Then we're coming after you. We're coming to get you.
- [38:50]
A
Exactly.
- [38:52]
B
Yeah. Oh, Ralph, you know how much I adore you, and I am excited to continue this with you and to just keep doing our radio shows just to continue to spread awareness. It's, it's fun to do this with you. I enjoy spreading awareness about who you are and giving hope first. There's so many that have had a stroke and just don't know where to turn. And I love turning them on to your radio station, just letting them know there's so much hope. And just here. What Watch this. Find a support group. There's so many. And. And I just am so grateful for you and your positive attitude and also your push, that gentle push like get into something. You need to do this because you. This isn't life over. It's a game changer. But not life over. There's so much.
- [39:44]
A
Exactly. You know, I'm not gonna should on everybody but for me I just had to keep going. I had to get my mind right and I'm grateful today that it is and I'm. It's become the most. It was the most difficult thing I've ever done but become the most rewarding and that's.
- [40:04]
B
I like that.
- [40:05]
A
My biggest share with most people. It can be rewarding.
- [40:09]
B
So you got someone in front of you. Last thing I'm gonna ask you, someone in front of you. Newly. No, it's not that. We've done it before. Diagnosed 10 years. Wife is gone. No more kids. Kids are gone. They moved. Don't want anything to do with mom or dad. Not going to tell. Stroke could be mom or dad. Very lonely, very depressed.
- [40:35]
A
What would you say the phone number 719-313-3540. Or you can email me at strokewarriorradiogmail.com.
- [40:45]
B
i love it.
- [40:46]
A
I'm gonna say reach out to somebody.
- [40:48]
B
Yeah.
- [40:49]
A
Hopefully it's another survivor.
- [40:51]
B
Yeah. Amen. Don't be by yourself.
- [40:55]
A
Exactly.
- [40:56]
B
I love that. Thank you, Ralph. Thank you for being on today. I will see you soon and we will be on another show again very soon.
- [41:06]
A
Yes, we will talk to you soon. Thanks.
- [41:08]
B
I will let you guys know when this will be airing. And again, don't forget to subscribe and don't forget to reach out and let me know what you would like to see on Move it or Lose It. Again, thank you Ralph for being on with us today and we will see you guys next week. Have a great day today.
- [41:24]
A
You too. Bye bye.
- [41:27]
B
Thank you so much for joining me for another episode of the Move it or Lose it podcast. It would mean the world to me if you subscribed and left a review. Remember, you can find me on Apple, Spotify, Stitcher and YouTube. New episodes of the Move it or Lose it podcast air every other Wednesday. If you have any suggestions for future guests or topics, please visit my website@www.msdisrupted.com. until next.